Ivn Jasher

Life / Photography / Words "What is done in love is done well." - Vincent Van Gogh

[ivnjamion]

Vung Tau, Vietnam - May 2025

Photos from my morning run at the coast of Vung Tau. The locals really had an early day on a midweek doing very cool and nice things. Such a beautiful culture.

[ivnjamion]

02042026

Hey there,

Last year, I turned 30.

I spend it with my brother, in Hong Kong. On the day of my birthday we went to Disneyland. I always dreamed of visiting that place with our mother. Unfortunately, that's not the case, but at least I get to spend my first time in Disneyland with my brother. I hope our mother is proud of us. We were trying to live our lives. Chasing experiences and priceless moments.

I was so happy, and in the back of my mind, my mother would have loved going around Disneyland. I miss Mama so much that day while having so much fun with my brother. Never in my life would those feelings coexist in my chest at the same time but I'm grateful.

I have a lot of photos from that trip that I want to post here.

[ivnjamion]

It's my 11 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[ivnjamion]

I need to read something that is about myself.

Therefore, I can meet myself from the gaze of the unknown.

Clueless of my soul. Oblivious to my being.

There I’ll get to pick up pieces to patch me, whole.

To close the gape that is my broken soul.

With the passage of time, lost without seeking.

[sincenewyorks]

freak4freak

[ivnjamion]

lola

Whenever I picture you, I saw my little boy self running around the house. You feeding me instant noodles, my favorite, and caressing me as I wept.

"Emboh" is how I call you ever since I was little. My grandmother, my vision of you never change, in my mind you stay the same. Even when the years drift with your memory of me. Even when we loss our shared tongue through time. You stayed the same. Your gaze carries the echoes of my earliest days. The way you carried me and cared for me. The gifts you gave to me in secret, forever cherished. You are the weight that holds my yesterday in place. Whenever I look back, I can see your smile.

With tears in my eyes, I look to the future holding your wishes of a beautiful life for me.

May forever be brief, for I will miss you endlessly.

[thoughtkick]

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[ivnjamion]

it's been 13 years, Ma

When the bags are packed, the mess cleared, and everything seems like it should return as it was—that’s when it hits the hardest. The gut-wrenching, heart-stopping weight of it all.

The hollow silence of the impact of the people that has come to be. The ache that never fades and the longing that forever reaches but never finds it rest.

The fleeting moments of rest, where the mind falls quiet - not with thoughts but with the weight of loss and weariness.

My heart has not changed, only grew stronger each day. It endures the same ache since day one but push through each day with newfound strength.

[ivnjamion]

in the presence of someone else

I saw you today, in the smile of the person that has crossed my path, in the way someone approaches me with warm embrace. I saw you.

Someone asked me how am I doing and there's a sudden feeling of reminiscent from a distant memory from the future. I learned how you're going to ask me that too. I saw your shadow on someone else's. I feel your energy upon someone else hand while pulling me to see something beautiful. I hear your voice over someone else's. I feel you. I feel the gravity pulling me towards you. Towards a stranger from the future, ignorant from the fact of two innocent person will someday saw the sky the same way, will feel the rain together.

I feel you gravitating towards me and me towards you. I saw little pieces of you and every person I met and when the time comes for us to meet I'll know it's you because all this time it was you.

[remanence-of-love]

[ivnjamion]

Up North

[ivnjamion]

April 7, 2025

I'm at my fave cafe. I ate our favortire donut. I thought of you, a lot actually in the past days. I don't feel the same feeling anymore. I'm not affected by you, the way you affect me before.

This morning, I haven't thought about you. I'm slowly forgetting the feelings I had. The delusions I made about us. I would've given you everything but you weren't really there. I chased you like you're going to change if I showed you how much you mean to me.

People don't change, especially not for others. It's not a bad thing that you don't change. You're so hell bent on what you want for yourself and I'm so hell bent in pushing myself into cracks and gaps of you. I was so wrong to think that I'll fix you by forcing myself. Everything you want is not me. Everyday we're together, you never fail to remind me of that yet I still believe things will change for you, for us.

I'm writing to write off these thoughts of mine hooping someday, maybe, they'll be gone. I'll start anew, begin to see and learn to love myself, wholly, again.

No reservations, no buts, no ifs, no other conditions.

[perfectfeelings]

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

— Oscar Wilde

[ivnjamion]

it's been a long time...

I'm writing tonight because I feel like it. I felt this heavyweight of nostalgia. Suddenly there's a lump in my throat, slowly choking on tears and thoughts rushing in.

Has anyone here felt something, thoughts or memories, that has stopped them from their reverie?

A single memory? or a particular smell? or a perfect afternoon? A lot of these things enveloped my mind. Covering most of my current and waking thoughts. My mind is ablaze with nostalgic memories of sadness and happiness. My emotions cannot be conveyed whether to cry or smile at the feelings. I miss people. I miss certain people. Some of them I wish were here with me, some not. I miss the version of them at that certain point in my life but not the person they are now. People change and grow up, all of the time, some you grew apart with. There are times I wish I could go back in time to feel the moment the second time. I know it will not be the same. That some thought would make me feel different and if it was worth feeling the second time.

This writing is a mess. I just scrambled some words I felt.

[ivnjamion]

So, I answered some asks from like 6 years ago or more. I hope you guys are still here. <3

[ivnjamion]

Sa tingin mo bakit naka-shades si anon?

Kasi red yung eyes niya from smoking good sh*t. jk hahahaha

PS this asks are from years ago pa. May mga hindi pala ako nasagot.

[ivnjamion]

I miss you. I'm always here for you. See you soon.

I miss you too bhie. See you bago sana ako madeds. Eme