in this post: reading into a single paragraph
In the opening story of A Life Worth Living, the first short story collection set after the Fifth Axis Occupation, Clarissa takes note of a slight change in Braxās physical appearance.
He wore a scar on his wrist these days, where the Fifth Axis torturersāincluding the recent love of her lifeāwhoād occupied his Collection had let some blood. Braxiatel could have had the scar removed. Ms Jones supposed that he wanted it there to show people, to force his point. He tended to find ways to use things to his advantage.
This, to me, is one of the most interesting and quintessentially Braxiatelian details about how Brax responded to the Fifth Axis Occupationāto the year of imprisonment and torture he suffered and the radical violation of his sense of security in historyās set path for the Collectionābecause, if read against Braxās contexts, this detail offers a multi-layered performance with different meanings for different audiences:
Itās propaganda. The most obvious way to use it is as a weapon or shield against the broader public and more forthright potential adversaries. The Fifth Axis attacks were a traumatic experience across the galaxy: the scar is subtle proof that Brax suffered too, thus disarming critics, and itās proof that he prevailed, thus blocking vultures. Itās an excellent way to control the conversation with a physical demonstration of both his experiences and his fortitude.
Itās a threat. However, itās a deliberate choiceāone scar kept among manyāwhich demonstrates that he has controlled the situation. That signals to more perceptive adversaries that Braxiatel has not only fortitude but the cunning to use his experiences to his advantage. He is proving that the physical marker of his suffering is something he can weaponize and that, rather than being controlled by what happened, he can manipulate the situation with it. Such a gesture would give more clever threats a reason to be wary of coming after the Collection, with its leader as manipulative as that.
Itās normalcy. To those closest to Brax, such as Clarissa, it proves that he is adhering to his tendency to take advantage of the situation. That is, heās proving that heās being Brax. During Life During Wartime, Braxiatel was often visibly vulnerable and afraid, and he suffered several semi-public breakdowns. And in this volume, he says people are nostalgic about war ābecause it gives one access to the true nature of people. Access like a wound gives access to the body. Some of you must even assume you saw the real me in those days. Hah!ā So Brax doesnāt want people to think that any of that vulnerability or fear was really him. And by taking advantage of his torture, by letting his closest friends know that heās doing that, Braxiatel is demonstrating to them that he isnāt affected by what happened. He is Irving Braxiatel, archrationalist and archmanipulator, and this is the real him. What happened means nothing: he is the same Brax they knew before.
Itās denial. And so its final layer allows him to psychologically distance himself from the torture. By making use of what he suffered, by making it a multi-layered performance, Braxiatel is able to tell himself that he is unaffected. How could it have affected him? For the sake of his goals, heās able to walk around with a reminder of it on his wrist, a physical marker of everything he suffered on his very skin. If he can do that, then clearly, the reminder mustnāt bother him. And if it doesnāt bother him, Brax doesnāt have to process his experience as trauma, because he has proven to himself that it wasnāt traumatic. Itās practically syllogistic in its logic!
A Life Worth Living is an interesting set for Braxiatel, because it centres on every other character dealing with the trauma of the Fifth Axis and moving on, with Brax doing his best to help. He opens a university and brings students to the Collection to help everyone feel newly invigorated. He finds a boyfriend for Clarissa to help her move past her lost love. Benny processes the loss emotionally and academically, and he tries to nudge her along. Brax sends Bev on a mission that helps her process some of the consequences of her experiences (and snags him statues he wants to keep), and he brings in a new gardener to help the Collection grounds themselves move on.
And Brax himself? Braxiatel reaches out to no one for help, and no one reaches out to help him. Why would they? He has clearly recovered entirely. Heās opening up a university. Heās manipulating people into letting him keep art he wants. Heās turning his torture to his advantage. He doesnāt need help, because he is Irving Braxiatel, and he is unchanged.
Except that he isnāt. In these stories, heās a little more distant than he used to be, a little less present. Thatās only natural. Itās hard to be close to anyone when youāre four layers removed from being honest.
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