Like You Wanna Be Loved

Ivan. 25. Forever wandering. 18+ . 1x1 rp blog Mobile Navi Navigation About IvanMain PageRules

[ivxnaimes]

disapprcve‌:

The blonde only turned her head to look over at him when he reassured her it wasn’t the reason why he came over. She didn’t answer him, though, but only glanced down his face for a couple of seconds. With a small scoff she lowered her gaze to her drink before taking a sip. “The majority of the people.” Eden answered in honesty. “Girls can be pretty mean, too.” She leaned her head into her hand so she could look over at the girls she’d once called friends that were chatting up and dancing with guys. “–I wish they had something strong instead.” She mumbled, more or less to herself while she stared down her drink. “I would kill for some vodka right now." 

       Ivan would be the first to say that he wasn’t one to tell people what to do, though that was actually what he was studying to do, aside from school and future job opportunities, he usually stayed out of it. It was just interesting to him how she was quick to get defensive before he even got a word out. “So, let me get this straight, you become that crude people have been mean to you?” It was true what they say, everyone was different. He had been bullied his whole life and not once did he think of barking at someone like that for simply coming near him. There had to be something else, but he was a stranger, and if she didn’t want to talk about it then that was fine too. “They don’t have vodka?” He looked around confused as to why a bar wouldn’t have vodka. “Would you like me to get you some?’ He wasn’t even sure if that was a good idea, but in a way, he wanted to atone for judging her when he first sat down. “I’m Ivan, by the way. Pre Med. You go here?” 

[ivxnaimes]

disapprcve‌:

suggested: bully, ex, bff’s friend, brother/sister friend, geek, professor, etc.

“So do you want me to suck your dick or jerk you off?” Eden asked with her well-faked customer voice as the other approached her at the bar of the school party they were at. After her ex-boyfriend leaked her nudes only a few nights ago, men were pretty much after one particular thing. “It’s not happening, fuck off.”

       “I can assure you that is absolutely not the reason I came over here, but thank you so much for the hospitality,” Ivan said as he sat down beside her at the bar, in all truth, yes, he thought she was beautiful, but he just wanted to ask if the seat beside her was taken because he was tired of standing. After her initial response, he figured, no one was sitting there because not many people wanted to be around someone lashed out like that, and he questioned it too, honestly, but Ivan also figured, they didn’t need to talk. Ordering his drink, he felt bad for judging her so harshly, so he turned to her and asked, genuinely. “Is that how you usually talk to people or just men?” Who knows, maybe she had been through a traumatic experience. 

[ivxnaimes]

preachesman‌:

at this point, her head was hurting & she wanted it to stop, she wanted all of the fighting to stop. she just wanted everything to go back to normal, even though she knew it wouldn’t, it just wouldn’t. she’s said way too many words & it’s too late to go back now, no doubt it was. she’s seen how hurt he is over what she said & she regrets it, she regrets hurting ivan like this because he doesn’t deserve it, he deserves someone better — he doesn’t deserve this & her lies, that’s what it was. avery couldn’t it in her to actually look at him, so she looks away, not even saying anything as she feels shameful for this ; for hurting him so badly that she can’t even comprehend everything right now.

there wasn’t even a smile on her face, just blank, that’s what it was because she’s just… ashamed of it. & to hear his words ? it breaks her heart even more, in fact. avery decides to look at him, though. taking a slow breath as she listens to his words, deciding on what to say next. she’s calm, but she’s still hurting & she doesn’t know what else to do, although, she’s staying silent so he can get his anger out. “ i do love you ! ivan, i love you so much that it hurts me to even do this to you ! ” & the words are ACHING to come out, that it was just all a bet because it was, it truly was & now that she’s looking over at him, she can feel the tears waste down her cheek – taking a moment to wipe it off. “ god, you are my home ! you’re the safest place i’ve ever been. & i know you don’t believe me, but you are. you mean – you mean the absolute world to me, ” & she wants to come closer, she wants to feel his touch & his warm hug, that’s all she wants. now she knows that she can’t have that & it breaks her heart. “ i’m not.. i would never hurt you like that, iv. it’s me, avery.. your best friend.. ”

        As upset as he was about how he was feeling about the situation himself, hearing her voice, her words made him crumble like a fool wrapped around her finger. Ivan brought Avery in for a hug and held her close as he rubbed her back, staying silent for a bit. He didn’t know why this conversation happened. Maybe she was feeling insecure? Maybe she was trying to push him away because she was scared? He didn’t know, but the more she spoke the more obvious it seemed that it wasn’t true. “Okay...” He said softly, sighing deeply right after as he took her mental health into consideration. He didn’t want to cause her any stress by asking her so many questions, and so harshly, but he was so curious as to why this was happening. One day it felt like they were fine and he was on top of the world. Mount Everest didn’t have shit on him. Then today it was like it all crumbled down. 

“Just take a deep breath okay?” He said as he continued to hold her, swaying her gently. “You don’t have to tell me why right now if it’s too much, but I have to know... do you still even want to be with me? I’m so confused.” Ivan Aimes looked down at her and moved some of the hair out of her beautiful face. He just wanted a clear view of her gorgeous eyes.  Avery was his home too, his happy place. She was his best friend first and lover second. He trusted her with his life, he just didn’t know what the fuck what was going on, and he knew she didn’t want to hurt him, but he felt pretty hurt right now if he was honest. 

[ivxnaimes]

preachesman‌:

suffice to say, avery was scared of losing ivan. they were best friends, they told each other everything and this ? god, this hurt so much more than anything else. avery was someone who loved her friends, who cherished her friends more than anything else & this was different. her parents used tease her and tell her that she would end up with ivan ; when they were kids. one night, their friend had made some sort of bet with avery, telling her that she wouldn’t get ivan to date her, but the catch was : she had to break his heart. & at first, she couldn’t find herself to do that, not at all. then as they had gotten together, she had fallen in love with him & she was able to comprehend her feelings for ivan. but now ? she was scared that he might look at her differently, that all of this was for nothing. ( not nothing, but it was some sort of experiment ) that she had partook in & she hated herself for it because she didn’t want to break ivan’s heart. out of all the times that she had heard his stories about girls breaking his, she didn’t want to be the next one. “ i’m so sorry, ivan. ” she stumbles out, not even giving him a reason for it, she couldn’t have given him a reason, not at all.

avery could feel her heart breaking : she could feel the hate & the resentment coming from ivan and she hated it, god, she hated herself more than anything right now. seeing him cry pained her, it made her hate herself so much more – she couldn’t have played the tough girl anymore, not since she broke her best friend’s heart. she could feel the tears welling up, one down her cheek as she wiped it off, shaking her head, wanting it to be a bad dream ! but it wasn’t, she had willingly broken ivan’s heart for no reason. “ i was interested in you ! god, i’ve been interested in you for the longest time & now that – now that it’s happened, i don’t know… ” she says, looking down at her trembling hands, wanting all of this to go away. “ you we – you are my home, iv. ” she tells him, trying her best to avoid her tears, her breath shaky ; her eyes looking at him, but not directly at him, really. it had been the end of the month, that’s what she bargained for. it was either that or the rest of the year & she didn’t want to string him along for too long : hell, she couldn’t even do it now. “ ivan, please … ” she says softly, wanting for him to hug her & tell her that it’s okay, but it’s not. she hurt him & that’s something she’s going to have to deal with. avery’s never felt so stupid before, she didn’t know why she even agreed to something like this, really. “ i’ve loved you for so long & i’m so sorry, ivan.. ”

        This felt like a nightmare. That was the best way Ivan could sum it up, a goddamn fucking night tremor. The worst part is that he couldn’t wake up. Avery said she was sorry and a tear fell down his cheeks as he thought of all the time that’s been wasted... the friendship that has just been potentially lost. “Fuck.” He groaned, running his hands through his hair, frustrated. Upset; sad, and angry all at the same time. He just needed to get out of there, and he was about to when she started to talk again, so he decided to stand there and listen. No matter how hard his broken heart was pounding against his chest, his hands shaking, his anxiety going haywire. He listened because no matter how hurt he was right now, he couldn’t deny her. He wanted all of this to be a sick joke so bad.  Avery turning around and saying the complete opposite of what she had just said to break his heart only made his lip quiver as he listened to her. There was a relief in knowing that it wasn’t real, that she did want him, and care about him and seemingly want to still be with him, but why did she do all of this? What was the point of hurting him that way if she didn’t even mean it? What kind of fucked-up game was that? “Why did you even say then? If you do love me, and, and I'm your home? Why would you fuck with me like that?” He just wanted to get to the bottom of this so it would hopefully never happen again. 

[ivxnaimes]

preachesman‌:

💔 Based: xx

to be fairly honest : avery didn’t know how to go about this, the problem that was going on. of course, it had almost been a month since she made that bet with their friend – it was a drunken mistake, but god ; she felt bad for stringing ivan around as if they were actually a thing, that wasn’t her intention. chewing on her thumb as she paces herself back and forth, wanting for the words to come out correctly ! she knew that it wouldn’t happen and he would get hurt either way. she wanted to tell ivan the truth, really. she knew that she had to, or else someone else would. a small sigh leaving her lips as she looks over at him, stalling. “ i – no, you didn’t do anything wrong, i just.. ivan, look. ” she starts, wanting for all of it come out already ! her heart was hurting as much as his was, she could feel it. “ i don’t love you anymore, iv. i never.. i never have. ”

       Ivan didn’t know what he did to deserve this and if it wasn’t for his undying curiosity as to why she would even bother with him if she never felt anything for him, he probably would’ve just walked right back out, putting his headphones back into his ears, putting the audio on max and scream out to the sky. Why was this happening? Why didn’t he see the signs before? He was constantly looking for them, thinking that the relationship was too good to be true, that she was way out of his league, and lastly, that he was flying up way too high. Ivan knew he’d eventually start to come down from the sky at high speeds preparing for impact. Plop, and his heart shattered. Just like that, it all came crashing down around him. He felt stupid, humiliated like he was on the brink of tears, and he was. Ivan barely ever cried, but this just hurt so fucking bad, and he wasn’t expecting it what’s so ever. “Why—” His soft brown eyes kept their sight on her beautiful face as his vision became blurry with the tears he was trying so fucking hard to keep back, pausing his speech because he knew that if he kept trying to talk his voice would crack, he would choke on a sob, and it’d be all over for real, because he wouldn’t have the coposure to bring himself back and get a chance of closeure before he left. And he would leave, soon, especially if things just kept getting worse. 

 Lip trembling and voice quaking, he decided to continue on with his question. “Why even bother being with me if you were never actally interested in the first place? Why keep up with it and say all those things after with knowing you didn’t actually feel it? How could you just live to my fucking face like that, Avery?” Ivan asked as he raised his voice only a little bit, his frustration growing second byt second. Aimes was a forgiving guy, he was sure that  in time, he’d be able to hang out with their same mutual friends and force himself to have small talk with her, avoiding the elephant in the room, being nice, or at least polite and meaning it genuinely, like he meant everything else, but with the way he felt now? That wouldn’t be for a very, very long time. It felt like a complete waste of time, an embarrassing, devastating, waste of time. Ivan thought as his mind went back to all of the times he said he loved her with a smile that not only reached his eyes, but his heart as well... stupid asshole. “Why are you doing this, right now?  What made you want to be honest with me today, out of all days? ” Ivan would be pissed and have a serious conversation with her if this was some elaborate joke, or test of some sort to look to record his reactions to this specific scene. To fuck with him, but it not being real, her words being all some fucked up joke would’ve been so much better than feeling so completely drained from the situation. This was just so out of left field, it was hard for Ivan not to be slightly skeptical about the authenticity about it. Hopeful that it wasn’t actually true. He didn’t want to lose Avery today.

[ivxnaimes]

💔 Based: xx

       Avery had been acting fucking weird all day, and Ivan planned on calling the blonde out on it when he got back to her place. Which was in approximately two seconds as he stepped through the door and took out his headphones. “Hey! You alright? I’ve been trying to reach you all day.” Iv understood that life got busy, but it took three seconds to say ‘busy, ttyl’ through text. Plus, being busy never stopped them from talking all day before., especially as friends. Ivan went to Avery for everything, and all his friends referred to them as Iv and Av: at it again. He smiled softly at the thought. Ivan was an overall happy guy, easy-going, laid back, closeted hopeless romantic, but being with Avery had made him the happiest he’s ever been in his life. However, something about today... it didn’t sit well with him, and, he didn’t want to be pessimistic or overcomplicate things in his head, but he was honestly expecting a not so great conversation out of this. “Babe, what’s going on? Did I do something?” @preachesman

[ivxnaimes]

picassoxbaby‌:

            “i don’t care and i wouldn’t call that going into detail..” he spoke with a laugh an almost amused expression on his features. maybe sebastian should of just left it and walked away but he had started this now and so he had to end it. “people always cheat for a reason, they don’t just go out and find someone — there is always a reason,” he muttered with a shake of his head, sebastian was loyal he didn’t cheat on anyone if he was actually in a relationship which wasn’t often. when they first hooked up sebastian didn’t know he was taken and it wasn’t till after he had admitted to him but he couldn’t feel bad because he wasn’t in the wrong, he was single and he didn’t make the first move. “i didn’t help end anything. i had no clue he was taken until after i fucked him. i didn’t go after him and try to get with him, he came onto me and wanted me so blame him for ending the relationship. i’m innocent,” he spoke with a shrug of his shoulders, there was no way he would take the blame for any of this and he did understand ivan being angry at him because his boyfriend cheated on him with sebastian but it wasn’t the males fault. his brows raised and he folded his arms over his chest, flickering his eyes over the other features, “your boyfriend wanted me just like everyone else wants me. he was begging to be fucked and i gave him what he wanted and you can be angry with me but really you’re angry with him. it’s all him,” sebastian wasn’t sure if the other was being serious or not but he wanted ivan to understand that actually sebastian was the innocent party in all of this, he wasn’t the one to be taking his anger out on though if it was in the bedroom then sebastian would allow that. 

       Ivan was almost afraid to ask, but he decided to bite the bullet and sighed, looking at Sebastian and raising a brow. “What would you call going into detail then?” He dared to ask as he looked at the handsome male before him. As much as he hated to admit it, yes, Seb was hot, but he was too arrogant about it, in Ivan’s opinion. It just pissed him off, especially in this situation. “Look, all I'm saying is that you can’t generalize. Some people have a reason to cheat and some people don’t. You got a glimpse of him for one night, but I've known him for an entire year. I knew, my boyfriend.” He chuckled. “At least, up until he hooked up with you.” Ivan bt his lip, looking at the male before him. “Whatever, you’re innocent. If that helps you sleep at night, homewrecker.” That last bit was Ivan just fucking with Sebastian and he made it obvious as he smiled brightly at the other, shamelessly checking him out for a brief second. At first, he wouldn’t have considered it, but, the more he hung around him, talked to him, the more he saw the appeal. DIdn’t mean he’d make it easy though. “Do you ever get tired of talking about how badly everyone wants you? Or is it something that gets you off? Serious question, I'm genuinely curious.” Iv chuckled dryly and shook his head. “Whatever, Sebastian, I honestly just couldn’t give a single fuck about you having fucked Jared right now.” 

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[ivxnaimes]

picassoxbaby‌:

                “and you’re talking to me like i really fucking give a shit,” he chuckled shoulders pulling up into a shrug, though it wasn’t a surprise they were’t together considering. it did amuse sebastian how ivan was saying he wasn’t bothered but his actions were screaming he was bothered. exhaling his brows raised and arms folded over his chest, “oh? tell me then why else don’t you like me?” he questioned curious as to what the other was going to say, sebastian did have flaws and a lot of people didn’t like him but more for reasons they came up with in their own minds rather than stuff sebastian actually did. “see.. he can’t of enjoyed it that much if he was so willing to cheat, looking for it somewhere else you and your magical dick can’t of pleased him as much as you thought,” there was an almost smug smile on his features but the way ivan was talking had sebastian intrigued, there was no doubt in his mind that he would go there — sebastian just needed to be attracted to someone for sex, the rest didn’t really matter. “so what are you saying that you wouldn’t want to teach me a lesson? take all this built up rage out on me? after all it sounds like i was the reason you are now single or maybe you should be thanking me for that.. depends how you look at it.”

             “Oh, you don’t care? Then why are you going into detail like you do?” His brows rose in question. Why was Sebastian even still standing there? If Ivan was him, he probably would’ve told himself to fuck off, yet here they were. Talking about someone that, maybe he wasn’t in love with, but definitely put his ego in a bad place. “I’m not giving you that satisfaction.” He didn’t want to tell Sebastian that he was envious of him, even before Jared this was true, but he wouldn’t tell him that. He refused to. “Just because Jared cheated on me, doesn’t mean that he wasn’t happy with me. People cheat for no particular reason all the time.” It wasn’t just the sex that let him know Jared was happy, it was the long conversations after, it was the way they laughed together. The way they texted, constantly, the things they did for each other, but Jared had a wandering eye, and Ivan knew this, but he didn’t think he’d ever actually go through with cheating on him, and that was the last straw. That he couldn’t support from anyone, no matter how much he liked them. Shame, Ivan was just starting to fall. Sebastian suggesting Ivan take his frustration out on him not only intrigued him but frustrated him even more. “Why would I sleep with the person that took part in ending my year-long relationship? Give me a good answer, and I'll consider it.” In a way he was right, this was probably for the better. If Jared decided to cheat now, it’d probably just mean more cheating later, so yes, he was happy to cut that off before it even happened. However, he was not happy about it. “Just admit Sebastian. You just wanted my boyfriend to gt to me, didn’t you?” Ivan was joking, but he said it with such a smooth voice and sly smirk that it may not have seemed like a joke to the other.   

[ivxnaimes]

picassoxbaby‌:

               the funny thing about sebastian is that he was loyal. when he was with someone that was all he saw, most people found that strange like he couldn’t be loyal but no one really knew him. sebastian had never paid much attention to relationships or who was with who because tennis was his number one, he didn’t care about much else so it wasn’t until after he slept with ivan’s boyfriend that he knew the male was taken. sebastian didn’t think any of the blame could be on him, though he never wanted to blame himself for much. a laugh came past his lips, eyes rolling “you’re dramatic aren’t you?” his spanish accent was thick as he continued to talk, “you only don’t like me because your boyfriend wanted me to fuck him.. god he was so determined that he was coming home with me, no one else would please me like he did — i mean do you blame him it’s not like you can really find someone better looking,” he shrugged his shoulders, knowing that this would probably push ivan’s buttons more but he couldn’t help himself. brows raised as the smirk reappeared on his lips, “is that so? well feel free to show me angry because you know i like it a little rough.”

              “You’re talking about Jared like we’re still together. Like the bullshit you guys did with each other is going to fucking bother me.” Wasn’t it? There he was getting more and more impatient with every word that came out of Sebastian’s mouth. On top of that, he had a thick Spanish accent that he was sure Jared was crazy about too. In a less fucked up and tense circumstance, he was sure that he would crazy about it too. However, Ivan was too angry to think about how hot this guy was right now. Getting closer and lowering his voice but somehow keeping himself hard and deep, Iv let him in on a little secret. “That’s not the only reason I don’t like you, don’t kid yourself.” He rolled his eyes. “Believe me, Sebastian, he enjoyed his time with me just fine... You should’ve heard the way he moaned for me, the way he wanted me constantly... Honestly? His reaction to my cock is still my favorite memory with him to date.” The brunette male smirked, never has he let out such intimate details of his love life... especially not to spite someone else. Yet, Sebastian brought it out of him, and Ivan hated it. “In your sadistic wet dreams, Gomez.” 

[ivxnaimes]

picassoxbaby‌:

based

sebastian came across as your typical rich asshole and to a point he was until you won him over, not many people did though. he found it amusing they were angry with him, blaming him for their partner cheating on them. sebastian was the single one and he didn’t hit on people they all flocked to him which was no surprise to sebastian because he didn’t think there was anyone better looking than him. “i wasn’t in the wrong. i’m single and they were begging for it,” he spoke as a smirk laced over his lips, he could see them growing more enraged by the second and maybe they would take a swing though it wouldn’t end well for them. dark eyes slowly moved over their body, tongue gliding over his lower lip, “god you’re hot when you’re angry.” @bcginx

             Ivan was a faithful lover, he was a one man, well man. So when his boyfriend of a year cheated on him he broke up with him quickly. Though he was obviously still bitter about the situation because when he saw Sebastian Ivan couldn’t help himself from confronting him about Jared. He’s always had an itching suspicion of his ex boyfriend’s attraction to their Ivy League school peer. Maybe it was because Jared thought that Sebastian was cuter or that he thought that maybe he was richer than Ivan, and the truth was, maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. Ivan wouldn’t know, he didn’t boast about money, and he definitely didn’t ask others about theirs. Whatever the reason was, it didn’t matter, it was over. “I’m not saying you were in the wrong. I’m well aware that it takes two, but I just thought I'd let you know that you’re an asshole and I don’t like you.” Though soft-spoken, Ivan wasn’t afraid to express his controlled opinion. When Sebastian called him hot, Ivan was amused enough to smirk for a quick second at his audacity and God awful timing. “Trust me, you haven’t seen angry.”