suffice to say, avery was scared of losing ivan. they were best friends, they told each other everything and this ? god, this hurt so much more than anything else. avery was someone who loved her friends, who cherished her friends more than anything else & this was different. her parents used tease her and tell her that she would end up with ivan ; when they were kids. one night, their friend had made some sort of bet with avery, telling her that she wouldnât get ivan to date her, but the catch was : she had to break his heart. & at first, she couldnât find herself to do that, not at all. then as they had gotten together, she had fallen in love with him & she was able to comprehend her feelings for ivan. but now ? she was scared that he might look at her differently, that all of this was for nothing. ( not nothing, but it was some sort of experiment ) that she had partook in & she hated herself for it because she didnât want to break ivanâs heart. out of all the times that she had heard his stories about girls breaking his, she didnât want to be the next one. â iâm so sorry, ivan. â she stumbles out, not even giving him a reason for it, she couldnât have given him a reason, not at all.
avery could feel her heart breaking : she could feel the hate & the resentment coming from ivan and she hated it, god, she hated herself more than anything right now. seeing him cry pained her, it made her hate herself so much more â she couldnât have played the tough girl anymore, not since she broke her best friendâs heart. she could feel the tears welling up, one down her cheek as she wiped it off, shaking her head, wanting it to be a bad dream ! but it wasnât, she had willingly broken ivanâs heart for no reason. â i was interested in you ! god, iâve been interested in you for the longest time & now that â now that itâs happened, i donât know⌠â she says, looking down at her trembling hands, wanting all of this to go away. â you we â you are my home, iv. â she tells him, trying her best to avoid her tears, her breath shaky ; her eyes looking at him, but not directly at him, really. it had been the end of the month, thatâs what she bargained for. it was either that or the rest of the year & she didnât want to string him along for too long : hell, she couldnât even do it now. â ivan, please ⌠â she says softly, wanting for him to hug her & tell her that itâs okay, but itâs not. she hurt him & thatâs something sheâs going to have to deal with. averyâs never felt so stupid before, she didnât know why she even agreed to something like this, really. â iâve loved you for so long & iâm so sorry, ivan.. â
    This felt like a nightmare. That was the best way Ivan could sum it up, a goddamn fucking night tremor. The worst part is that he couldnât wake up. Avery said she was sorry and a tear fell down his cheeks as he thought of all the time thatâs been wasted... the friendship that has just been potentially lost. âFuck.â He groaned, running his hands through his hair, frustrated. Upset; sad, and angry all at the same time. He just needed to get out of there, and he was about to when she started to talk again, so he decided to stand there and listen. No matter how hard his broken heart was pounding against his chest, his hands shaking, his anxiety going haywire. He listened because no matter how hurt he was right now, he couldnât deny her. He wanted all of this to be a sick joke so bad.Â
Avery turning around and saying the complete opposite of what she had just said to break his heart only made his lip quiver as he listened to her. There was a relief in knowing that it wasnât real, that she did want him, and care about him and seemingly want to still be with him, but why did she do all of this? What was the point of hurting him that way if she didnât even mean it? What kind of fucked-up game was that? âWhy did you even say then? If you do love me, and, and I'm your home? Why would you fuck with me like that?â He just wanted to get to the bottom of this so it would hopefully never happen again.Â