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Penny: I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know. Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality. Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what?

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nobody knows but Sheldon

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Sheldon: You're asking me to use my superior intellect in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

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Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel? Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie!

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Sheldon: Why are you crying? Penny: Because I'm stupid! Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

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Sheldon: I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.

Penny: God, can we please just say “no longer seeing each other”?

Sheldon: Well, we could if it were true. But as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed is the coitus.

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Howard (to Leonard, after a round of Dance Dance Revolution): Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served. Leonard: That's fine, you win. (walks away) Howard (to Sheldon): What's his problem? Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him. Howard: Been there!

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Leonard: We need to widen our circle. Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace. Leonard: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them. Sheldon: That’s the beauty of it.

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Sheldon: I promised Penny. Leonard: Promised Penny what? Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. (pause) Shhhhh!!!! Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret. Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad. Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret. Sheldon: I'M BATMAN!!!! SHHHH!!!

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