It’s been a few hours, you’ve just been hanging there. You’ve been quiet, too quiet. Usually there’s music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, you’re quiet. Your little sister, who doesn’t normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what you’re doing. She assumes you’re taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. You’re not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isn’t playing and you aren’t walking around. You’re hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.” No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too. They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile. They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know you’re gone forever.
Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.
Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Don’t you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didn’t meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No one’s life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and I’m always here. I’ll never judge you. I’ll try to help you.
If you are thinking of taking your life, call:
1-800-784-2433
1-800-SUICIDE
You stupid motherfuckers, don’t you dare not reblog this. Because this deserves 100K notes more than pictures of your favourite gay couple or cute cats, and yet it has 243 notes. 243 fucking notes? Fuck that. Fucking signal boost this.
I wish she had seen this.
You could save a life tonight with just one reblog
oh god I wish he had seen this that night
guys you could save a life tonight I dont care if your a colour blog or whatever reblog this now
There will never be a time when I don’t reblog this
Forever reblog. Please, please reblog this
Always reblog always
This is what keeps me alive. For every one in my life.
I struggle a lot with depression and suicidal thoughts. Even though most of this isn’t true for me (only real family connection is my mom, but that is enough) this story is so powerful and it helps. I saved the post to come back to next time I have a hard night. This is really important for everyone to read. If you feel like you don’t have anyone, friends, family, pets, coworkers, teachers, fellow students, you have me. I will care even if we have never talked or interacted at all.
I wish he had seen this last week, I’m so sorry.
wow………this truly does save lives cuz it just saved mine…………i was scrolling through tumblr telling myself this will be the last time i’ll use this app since i dont think there will be a tomorrow since IM.JUST.DONE but then i saw this……..thank you for whoever made this
Powerful
I wish he had seen this before he left.
I wish my brother had read this..
I lost one of my middle school best friends to suicide. Her name was Ryan, she loved cats, and we had a drama class together.
Her older brother found her. Of course he never wants to talk about the details, but we all used her groupchat to hold ourselves up afterwards.
From what he told us, he used a screwdriver to unlock the bathroom door when she didn’t respond, because he was afraid that she was hurting herself. She was crumpled against a wall, vomit on her chest, clearly having been leaning over the toilet when she had fallen unconscious. Her shirt and bra were crumpled on the floor, probably ripped off and thrown aside during hot flashes. Her nose was bloody and her face pale.
She and her brother were home alone. Her heart was still beating when he found her. You have no idea how much he blamed himself. He told us that it was his fault, because if he’d checked on her sooner, she wouldn’t have taken the pills and she might still be alive. He kept coming back to the fact that he called their parents before he called 911. He said that maybe if he’d done it the other way around, the paramedics would have been able to save her.
He was fifteen years old. He was fifteen fucking years old, and he held his little sister in his arms as her breathing stopped. He said that he could feel the life under the bare skin of her torso drain out of her. He was alone when they took her in the ambulance, because they said that they couldn’t let him on without a parent. He was already so deep in shock when his parents came home that he had to take care of them as they broke down.
No matter what your mental illness may be telling you, I fucking guarantee that your family will be ripped to shreds if you kill yourself. No matter how broken up your family is, you’re still a symbiotic relationship. Even if it’s toxic, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Take away an element, and the entire ecosystem collapses in on itself.
((Note: I fucking hate talking about this. I almost never do, and I don’t think I’ve gone this deep into it with anyone outside of therapy. It was 4 years ago, but I still cried while writing this. Please be gentle with me, and please take something away from this. Don’t kill yourself, please.))
