🐦⬛ self harming as a way to test sylus in your relationship. 🩹
tw: self harm, disordered eating, abandonment issues, toxic reader? don't do this please
gn!reader, dark but ends with hurt/comfort.
(comfort under the cut if you want to skip the hurt part)
wc: 837
Instead of accepting his offers for help, you crawl away into a dark corner of your home to curl up and slice yourself open anyway. You keep the wounds hidden under long sleeves, concealing your pain to see if he'll notice. What he'll do if he notices. To keep an eye on his expression as he finds out you relapsed again.
You starve yourself, purposely neglecting your gnawing hunger because someone like you doesn't deserve food. Because feeling yourself deteriorate brings a sense of sick satisfaction. You would wonder if Sylus prefers you skinnier, but you wouldn't want to defame him in that way, not even in your head.
You take to isolating yourself again, curling up in bed with the curtains drawn, watching his texts light up your phone, taking too long to respond because you can't muster up the energy to think of anything to say. Your eyes grow puffy from the tears you shed as you do your best to respond like a normal person would. Like someone worthy of being with Sylus would.
You show him all the ugliest parts of your soul to try and push him away, to watch him closely and see if he flinches. Surely he deserves ample warning about what being with you will be like. That you've long been split into fragile little shards, no longer able to offer him a whole person to grasp onto with confidence.
And if he's going to leave anyway, what's wrong with accelerating the process a little? It'll save you pain in the long run. Offer a cleaner break with less attachment.
But he doesn't speak a word of complaint. He cradles the shards that are left of you, uncaring of the scratches and cuts he collects on his palms in the process. He studies their jagged edges, slowly discerning how they all fit together with unending patience and care. Delicately piecing you together, one fragment at a time.
Of course, he notices when you relapse. You've never been good at hiding things, not across any of the lifetimes he's known you. He can see it from a mile away; your vacant, pained expression shines like a beacon, especially when he's already looking for signs of your mental health taking a turn for the worse.
He doesn't push, doesn't pry. He doesn't shame you or express disappointment. He just asks to see the wounds so he can know they're patched up to his satisfaction. He assures you that he's always there to help you when you feel the urge again, that he would be honored if you chose his shoulder to cry on when something bad happens that nearly pushes you over the edge of relapse again.
He notices when you begin losing weight. The way your face starts to look more drawn, your arm wrapped around your abdomen when you think he isn't looking. He asks his chef to make your favorites in order to entice you into sharing a meal with him.
He always makes sure to send you home with plenty of leftovers and premade meals in Tupperware, knowing that taking away the stress of choosing what to cook and cooking it would make eating much easier for you. And when you come back to see him again with fuller cheeks and easier smiles, he knows his instincts were correct.
He makes sure to be by your side in whatever way he can when you're isolated and curled up in bed. His preferred method is to stop by for a visit, sneak beneath your covers, and pull you into his embrace, where he knows you're safest. If you reject his proposition to join you in person, he offers a call instead. Neither of you needs to speak, gaining the warm comfort of each other's company without the need for travel.
And if you happen to decline this option as well, he sends Mephisto over to cheer you up. You can't bear to leave the poor bird out in the cold when he pecks at your window; he probably needs a break from his duties anyway. It's easy to relax and put your troubles aside with his soft feathers beneath your fingers, watching him doze off on your comforter beside you.
Sylus knows how to care for cats, after all. He knows how to coax a panicked one out from under the furniture into his arms, to get it purring for him and eating the tins of food he brought for it. He doesn't mind a few scratches along the way, just taking them as a sign that the cat needs a little more time to trust him.
You're just the most valuable cat he's ever had the privilege of nursing back to health. Once he's successfully gathered you up into his arms, he proves that he has no intentions of letting you go, not ever again. He'll spare no effort in making sure your coat gleams, your belly stays full, and your chest is rumbling with happy purrs.
I'm suffering a bit right now so I got an idea for a fic.
Batfamily x reader with a case of ED!! that kind of reader sometimes can't even look at food and sometimes when he eats anything (even if he likes it) he feels sick all day.
ED is horrible and I don't wish that on anyone.
ED = eating disorder. (I know there's something else that's abbreviated as 'ed', so this is just so no one gets confused)
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮
pairings: paltonic!batfam x reader with an eating disorder
summary: how some of the family members help you with managing your ed
a/n: hope your doing better now </3
cw: talks of eating disorders
They noticed that you struggled with food. Not always, but some days were more alarming to them than others.
They weren't sure how to approach you. After all, they couldn't just walk up to you and ask you about it. So instead they started reading about your symptoms, learning about your disorder and what they could do to help.
Bruce came up to you during one of your longer episodes, asking if you'd want to try getting professional help. He didn't get mad at you when you declined at first. None of them ever got mad at you for making decisions influenced by your disorder. So he asks you to think about it, reminding you that he just wants to make sure you get all the help you want and need.
If later down the line you end up agreeing to start seeking out professional help, Bruce will be happy to prepare a list of the best people in this area of expertise and will help you choose one that might be the best for you. Regardless of how much the help for you will cost, you will get it all. You just need to say a word, and he's on it.
Alfred is always on standby, ready to prepare the only food that would not make you sick, even if that meant only working with said food multiple times a day for weeks. He makes sure the pantry and fridge are always stocked up with your safe foods.
Cass is there when you want to eat your meal with someone but can't handle the chaos that comes with the family eating dinner. She's more than happy to eat the same things as you, in case it would help. She's also the first one to realise you're not doing well or something made you feel sick.
Tim makes structures for you, routines to help you manage your disorder. And changes them the second he sees that they are no longer working. He updates your list of safe foods before each of Alfred's grocery trips, making sure the butler won't accidentally buy something you might no longer be able to eat.
Damian is your most fierce protector. It doesn't matter if it's the tabloid talking shit or someone from your close environment making a 'harmless joke' about your disorder. He is there to fight for you. Starting internet wars, calling out people being insensitive. Blackmailing if the other things are no longer working. Sometimes he recruits Jason to pay someone a visit to teach them about making fun of people with eating disorders. Has attempted to stab someone during a gala after they made a comment about you and swears the next time he will succeed.
All of them love you in their own special ways. And they make sure to remind you about it, especially when you're in your bad episodes.
creepypastas with a partner who has an eating disorder.
this is somewhat angsty. and its abt eating disorders.
so, read at your own risk obvs, be SAFE dont read antyhing TRIGGERING or im coming to get you>:(
all of them are here for this one, toby, jeff, eyeless, ben, nina, laughing, xvirus, bloody painter, jane the killer, and kate the chaser.
(warning for nina, shes an enabler)
sensitive topics below the cut!!
mentions of vomiting, eating disorders, manipulation etc.
Toby
he understands, he has some difficulties with food as well, forgetting to eat or purposefully not. or eating in such a way that hes sick afterwards, but he gets worried about you.
he lived in the 2000s/very early 10s, he has seen all of the shit in the world to do with fatshaming. he knows how to dance around the subject like no other. he dealt with a 16 year old lyra when he was all of 13 years old.
he'll bring you food in plastic baggies to hid calorie count, and he'll buy your favorite foods for when you do feel like eating.
he tries to make sure you dont absolutely ruin your asophagus like he has, he keeps you occupied after having eaten, distracts you from going to purge for at least an hour, when he can.
he doesnt ever comment a single thing about your body, like, at all, he will never ever. unless prompted mayyybee
Jeff
there are generally two ways i see him going, either, he figures it out, doesnt really say anything, and just brings you food and shrugs if you dont eat it, hes done the most he can do.
or he just says 'yeah, you're skin and bones' when you tell him, and doesnt change a single thing at all.
hes an asshole idk, he doesnt care about how you look or how you eat as long as you're alive. although he does work to keep you alive. he brings coconut water and peanut butter on rice cakes to trick you into getting sum calories.
Eyeless Jack
he will force feed you if needed.
so concerned, hes a doctor for crying out loud, as soon as you show a symptom hes all over it. he will cook for you, and beg you to eat if need be.
he wants you to eat healthy, he will put food in your mouth like a dog, press your lip against your tooth till you open your mouth then hold your mouth closed and your nose shut till you swallow to breathe. he will not play.
if he thinks your purging, he will trap you with his body until he knows that shit is digested.
Ben Drowned
he knows immediately, no hiding anything from him. at all. he sees like, everything.
he will take you on fancy dinners in public so you feel guilty if you dont eat (hes spending his money on you, the least you could do is eat the food. is what he'd say)
he will lock you out of the bathroom, or as soon as you walk towards it your vision will get black and you'll feel like your falling, so you have to go back to where you were sitting. then everything is better.
hes a manipulative fucker, and he will guilt you, trick you, etc into eating no matter what.
hes also very affirming of your body, only when you're gaining weight though, or at least when you arent losing it.
Nina
she has one too.
she'll count calories and remind you of your goals. keep eachother on track!!
she buys multivitamins and diet sodas for you both, if something actually happens, she'll make you eat though, if its to the point of danger (for you) she'll stop and make you be healthy.
the slendersickness keeps her alive without needing to eat at all. and she'll offer to get you infected so you can have the same thing.
many a compliment always, shes a worshipper. she loves you no matter what, and wants to help you in whatever you want to do!
Laughing Jack
hes confused about it, more than a little.
he knows: humans need to eat, humans like to eat, food is important.
he was put into existence in the victorian era of england, to a poor family. he remembers how edward cried when he couldnt eat, and doesnt understand why you would purposefully abstain from food.
once he does understand, he tells you to stop, in no uncirtain terms, and will try to make you eat. traps you with the scary dead children until you do.
X-VIRUS
as i mentioned, hes a high functioning heroin addict. man is skin and bones because of it. he doesnt like it much, and he doesnt like that you talk about wanting to look the same.
hes not a good cook, he can bake though, he makes you very nice things like bread and cookies. and goes out of his way to watch you eating, he tracks your calories for you, and will always try to make you eat at least 2000 calories in a day, and makes sure you get enough iron, vitamins, salt and fats to live.
he tells you ever side effect of every eating disorder, and will try to scare you out of it.
also not above tying you down to an operating table and shoving a feeding tube down your throat if things get bad.
Bloody Painter
he thinks your perfect how you are, and it grates him that you think otherwise, he makes you pose for him still, no matter how much you plead for him to wait until you look a bit different.
he also will take you out to nice dinners with expensive foods to guilt you into eating.
he will do the same thing as jeff, bringing you deceptively high calorie foods.
Jane
she notices, she had one and recovered. she tries not to ever think about how she looks.
she'll always try to make you feel like you're perfect, because you really are to her. she tries to convince you to eat, rather than forcing you. pleading until you fold and trying to reward you when you do, giving you one thing or the other when you make progress.
she'll listen when you go to the bathroom after you eat, to make sure you arent throwing up.
Kate
shes worried, she brings you things you like and cooks you meals, and drags you to a doctor to check you out to make sure you arent dying.
she also offers to infect you with slendersickness, because she doesnt want to be to too pushy, but she does want you to live and not die.
she'll plead. and at a point start threatening you until you do eat.
Obsessed with Simon, Sara, Wilhelm and Felice driving away from a shutdown Hillerska, free from a system which was never going to accept them, happy and together.
Obsessed with how there’s still a chance Hillerska could reopen because that system is next to impossible to take down and the upper-class rarely face real consequences for their actions.
Obsessed with August’s face when he saw Wilhelm walking away, realising that he was trapped. Wilhelm said August was the heir they needed but he couldn’t have been more wrong - that man has bucket loads of trauma, an eating disorder he isn’t even close to ready to confront and no support system around him, he’s not gonna do much better with the role of Crown Prince than Wilhelm did.
Obsessed with Nils coming out to his friends and them easily accepting him, because their issue with Simon really was the fact that he was poor and a socialist, and Nils both still believes in the system he’s in and his queerness doesn’t destabilise the system the same way Wilhelm’s does.
Obsessed with Stella ending up with Fredrika, because although Rosh might have been fun to hang out with for a night Stella also still believes in and upholds the system she belongs to and Rosh was never going to fit in that system or uphold the traditional feminine values needed to survive in it.
Obsessed with how the monarchy is portrayed as unchangeable and impossible to modernise because it’s built on such outdated ideals.
Obsessed with the mix of both happy and open-ended endings.
