IN WHICH You have a lot of standards to meet. Youâve always had. Your family, your company, your fans, they all expect the best from you. And while it is your company who signs your checks, you have yet to disobey your family. So, when your mother demands you go on a blind date to find yourself a competent husband to take over the family business, you listen. You go on a blind date and meet with the worst possible man you could imagineâJoshua Hong. Annoying, careless, Joshua, who manages to make an impression on you nonetheless. But you refuse to fall for him or his shenanigans, especially after the series of events following your first meeting.
pairing » demon!Joshua x fem!idol!reader
genre » romance, stangers to lovers, bodyguard romance, my demon au
featuring » Chaewon of le ssera (non idol), Lee Chan of svt (non idol), Kim Mingyu of svt (not idol), Choi Seungcheol (non idol)
contains » blood, graphic descriptions of violence, themes of stalking and obsessive fans, heavy on the sicko fans, readerâs mother sucks, Joshua may or may not be killing people, he stabs himself (he is okay), mentions of death of other people, traumatic past (for reader), theyâre lowk just flirting all the time, religious themes a little (heaven and hell, angels and demons, the possible existence of god)
smut warnings » shower sex, masturbation, fingering, slight breast play, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), multiple orgasms, a hint of a blow job
word count » 34k
âȘ izzy adds... This story is inspired by the kdrama MY DEMON. It is, however, not the show simply rewritten with Joshua as the main character. Reader and Do Dohee are different, their situations are different, and I only took inspiration from the show. Please don't go into this expecting everything that happens in my demon. Also, please read the warnings for this fic. There are a lot of things that could upset you so pay attention to them before you proceed.
With that being said, the fic is finally out <3 I had a lot of fun writing this and figuring out the story. It created some inside jokes and I'm so so happy I got to write this.
A huge shout out to @100vern for hosting the SVTLIX collab! A big thank you goes to everyone participating and especially to @straylightdream for this awesome banner!!
seventeen mlist | joshua masterlist
Despite being in the car with only one more person, it still feels as suffocating as it did sitting in a conference room with your entire family. Chaewon watches you through the rear view mirror but you don't pay her any attention, looking out the window at all the streets you pass.
Getting married is the last thing you want right now.
You still have so many goals you want to achieve before settling down, so many more songs to perform and fans to please. But like your mother loves to remind you as often as she possibly can, family comes first. And no matter how much you don't want to get married right now, you need to find someone who would be able to lead the company you tried so hard to run away from.
Managing an electronic store is the opposite of what you want to do with your life. You'd much rather pass the chain to whoever worked for your parents the longest and just keep performing on stage. That is where you belong. Under all the lights, with a microphone in your hands. Not in an aisle of TV screens and phones.
"How long is an appropriate time to stay in order not to be rude?" You wonder, still not taking your eyes off the window.
"Thirty minutes?" Chaewon suggests. "That should be enough to complete dinner and fulfill all expectations."
You hum in agreement, looking down at your phone to check the time. "You can go once you drop me off, Chae. I'll drive myself home after."
"Of course, miss," she nods. She is in no place to argue with you even if she wanted to anyway.
The first floor of the building is made as a parking lot which you are grateful for. If your mother doesn't care about what you want in life, at least she makes reservations in places secure enough for you not to worry about your career.
It's once you're out of the car and Chaewon is officially off the clock that you allow yourself to sigh. "I'm a call away if you need anything," she assures you, her smile painful as she crosses the space between you. You've known her for five years now, ever since you first joined your company. She's supposed to be your manager, but she's honestly your friend more than anything.
"It'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen? I just need to get this over with to get my mother off my back and then I'll be able to focus properly again. Practice is at noon tomorrow?" You ask to reassure yourself. She nods and that's all you need. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Parting ways, you head to the elevator to get to the top floor where the restaurant is.
"We are sorry, ma'am, the place is all booked out for today," you are stopped as soon as you open the door.
"I know," you nod, looking around until you find the only other person in, relaxed on a couch. "I'm here to meet MrâŠ" you hesitate, realizing you weren't even told his name before they kicked you out of the door, claiming there is no time to waste. "To meet your customer."
The butler steps aside immediately. "My apologizes," he lowers his eyes, letting you walk past him. "I'll be there to take your order shortly."
You thank him briefly, taking in the decor as you head towards the only figure you see at the table. He's sitting with his back turned to you, his gaze locked on the newspaper he picked up earlier today.
"Hope you weren't waiting tooâŠ" your words trail off as you sit down on a chair opposite him and watch his dark eyes lift to meet yours, "âŠlong."
You blink, the little raise of his eyebrow having you act up. Get it together. You curse at yourself, shaking your thoughts off and regaining your posture. You've been on many blind dates organized by your mother before. You know what to do.
It's just that they've never been this much of your type.
Fluffy black hair that cover the back of his neck, cut perfectly to compliment his other features. Dark eyes, defined jaw, and a simple cross necklace sitting under his white suit jacket. There is a brown watch around his wrist as well, your eyes instantly trailing all the veins he has.
"And you are?" His voice makes you snap out of it. Again. What is with you today?
Your brows furrow. "Don't tell me you weren't told who you were meeting." When he only stares back at you, still just as confused, you sigh, reaching your hand over to him in a polite manner. Your name slips past your lips as you wait for him to tell you the same while shaking your hand.
He doesn't. He glances down at your hand and then back at your face, showcasing his bad manners. Of course. If your mother finally found someone decent looking, he just had to be a terrible person. That adds up, doesn't it? "Your name," you prompt. "Or business card."
He assesses you once more before reaching into his suit pocket to pull something out of it, throwing his business card to you on the table. You scoff, already annoyed as you take it in your hand, flipping it over to look at it. "Joshua Hong?" You question and he nods, barely paying you any attention as he goes back to reading. "And you're the CEO of Hong F&B?"
If he's already managing one company, how do your parents expect him to take care of two if this blind date was to work out? It doesn't make any sense.
"Yes. Now that you've had your fill of my presence, can you go? If you can't see, I rented out the entire floor for myself and my company."
"Oh my god," the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, a disbelieving laugh escaping. "This is a first," you shake your head. "Mother has really topped herself this time." Resting your hands on the table, you take a good look at him. "I didn't know they still made them this arrogant and self centered."
"Excuse you?"
Leaning back in your chair, you cross one leg over the other. "Still, since I promised I'll keep you company for a short while at least, I'll allow you those thirty minutes of my time. I'm leaving as soon as the clock hits nine."
He makes a show of himself closing the newspaper and leaving it beside him on the couch, making you roll your eyes. To think you thought he was attractive at first glance. "Suit yourself," he says, almost as if he saw this all as some sort of a challenge.
You sit quietly, both of you deciding to go with the cold shoulder as you eat your dinner. You catch your server's eyes on you every once and then, but every time he notices you looking back at him, he disappears as quickly as he appeared.
You have no doubt it looks weird from an outsider's point of view. Who even goes on dates like these? It's one thing to be rude to you, but to ignore you the entire time after? Your annoyance only keeps growing, feeling pettier and pettier each second that passes without him even trying to sooth you over. Why come out on this date if he knew he was going to be like this the entire time?
It's different in your case. You never wanted to be here. You were forced to come and you don't want anything from him. If anyone can be self centered and mean, it's you. Not him when he is trying to take over your company.
He should really get his shit together.
"Why are you even here?" You finally ask, dropping your utensils down and forcing your eyes to meet his. You're pissed with himâpissed at how uninterested he looks despite being in on this with your parents, pissed how unbothered your anger makes him, pissed how good he looks despite everything.
Raising his eyebrow, he finishes chewing on his food before answering. "Shouldn't I be asking that?"
You wish to wipe that look off his face. If he keeps annoying you, you as well might. Maybe you'll try to see how strong your right hook is.
"I'm not the one who wanted to go on a date with you," you scoff in response, picking your fork again and stabbing it into your meat.
"Date?" He questions, a mix of surprise and confusion lacing his tone.
"Are youâ Are you seriously dense?" You ask back, unable to hold back.
"I'd say you are since you still didn't pack your stuff and left," he retorts back, now just as annoyed as you are as he leans back in his seat. "In case I didn't make it clear enough yet; I don't want you here."
"As if I wanted to be here!" God, he's got you good. You haven't been this triggered since your failed stage at Inkigayo where the staff completely messed up the music. "I'm the last person who wants anything to do with you or that stupid company!"
Joshua opens his mouth to answer, another retort hanging on the tip of his tongue, but before he can do so, another voice interrupts.
"We are sorry, we are fully bookedâ"
"There he is!"
You blink at the guys at the entrance, confused what's going on. You can't read Joshua's expression well, but you don't think he knows what's happening either. A group of menâin their late thirties if you had to guessâmakes their way past the server who is trying his hardest to keep them out, heading straight for your table.
Joshua's eyes narrow at them as he scans them one by one, finally tilting his head to the side tiredly. "Why don't you go to the bathroom?" You don't think the question is directed at you since he doesn't even bother glancing your way, but you're shortly proven wrong when his gaze snaps to yours and he repeats himself.
"Unbelievable," you mutter, collecting your purse and phone before getting up from your chair and trying to make your way past the group of guys.
"Hold up, hold up, lady," one of them shakes his head, his voice filled with anger as he wraps his hand around your arm, keeping you from being able to leave.
"What are youâ" Your brows furrow as you turn to face him, ready to brush him off. Punch or kick if you have to. With all the feelings growing inside you thanks to the worst dinner you've ever had, you won't be surprised if you actually do resort to violence with whoever thought it'd be a good idea to hold you like this.
"Why don't you get your hands off her?" Your gaze instantly falls to your side, having to look up to come face to face with your date. Of fucking course he is tall as well. You want to argue with him more, tell him to get lost and that you can handle yourself, but before you can do so, they are exchanging another set of words and then Joshua's hand is flying to his face. Ouch.
As soon as your arm is free again, you quickly rush away, heading straight for the exit. You don't know what's happening in that restaurant and you don't want to know. In fact, getting messed up in that is the last thing you want to do. You'd much rather sit through another date with Joshua than get involved in that. Not that you'd want to see him ever again. The first thing you'll do when you get home is call your mother and complain about her terrible taste in men.
It's only once you're in your car that you feel calm again, your hands gripping the steering wheel and your head falling down against it. "What the fuck was that?" You yell, raising your head again. The parking lot is empty, only a few cars standing around. You can imagine it's much fuller when they aren't dealing with dates like yours and the restaurant isn't all booked out.
You don't go home straight away, heading towards your company to get some training in and sweat the anger away. It's the best and only way you can think of right now. You need to challenge all these build up emotions somehow, and if you can't keep arguing with him, you'll have to do with dancing it off.
Greeting the night guard, you run into a few more people on your way to your practice room, doing your best to offer them all a smile. You hope it doesn't look too fake. You're all alone in your practice room, surrounded by mirrors and point marks on the floor. Setting up a camera on the side, you do a simple intro before you move on, playing your newest song. If nothing, at least you'll have more practice content for your channel.
Hours pass in the large room, but you still don't stop until you feel all your strength run out. Dropping in the middle of the floor, you close your eyes for a second, catching your breath again slowly. You should get home. You have practice in the morning and then a challenge to film. The more hours you'll get in tonight, the better.
It's weird. Something is wrong.
You feel it as soon as you step out of your car again and head into your house. From the outside, everything looks ordinaryâlights turned off just like you left them, no movement on your garden, and everything quiet this late into the night. But you feel it. You swear you do.
Unlocking your front door carefully, you try your best to ignore the creeps you get. Flicking the light on as soon as you walk inside, you jump a little when you see a pair of shoes you don't recognize beside your heels. What the actual fuck?
If your brother is playing another one of his pranks on you right now, you swear you'll kill him the moment you come face to face with him. It's too late for this shit. It's one am, you need to shower, and get to bed. You don't have the energy or mood for any of this.
Looking around, you close the door behind you quietly, taking off your shoes like you normally would and heading into the living room. "Chan, stop playing with me, this isn't funny."
"I agree."
It's not Chan's voice you hear in response. It's not a voice of anyone you know. Quickly spinning around, you struggle to take out your pepper spray from your purse. Your eyes flicker all across the dark room, trying to make sense of anythingâanyone.
The living room light turns on without you getting to the switch, shivers running through your entire body as you turn around once more, desperately trying to find whoever is in the house with you. Lord help me. It's the only thing you can think about, your desperation growing as your hope slowly dies. "Chan, this really isn'tâ"
"Chan this, Chan that." You hear his footsteps before you see his face, stepping back into one of your shelves and knocking over a vase in the process. "Careful," he shakes his head as he keeps stepping closer to you. Who the fuck is that and why is he walking around your house so carefree? "We don't want you stepping on it and getting a piece stuck in your precious foot."
"Who are you?" You yell after him, ignoring his previous comment. You keep moving away from him, heading towards the kitchen with your eyes locked on him, worried what would happen if you lost sight of him again.
"Don't you remember me?" He tilts his head, his expression full of hurt. "Minjae. We met on your fan meeting last month."
Oh he's got to be joking. This is supposed to be your fan? "Why are you here? In my house?" You try to sound as calm as possible despite feeling anything but. It's okay. You can do this. You need to distract him for a bit and call the police. It'll be okay then.
"What do you mean?" He blinks confusedly. "Why else would I be here than for you?" His smile sends another shiver down your spine. God. You need to find a way to call for help way faster. "We are meant to be," he states almost desperately. "I've known it since I first laid my eyes on you. There is no one better for you than me."
Your back hits your kitchen island, forcing you to a stop.
"Are you scared of me?"
"No!" You say quickly, not wanting to tick him off. Who knows what he'd do if he found out you're not as happy to see him as he is to see you. "I'm justâ You surprised me! Of course I remember you, Minjae. How could I not?" Your voice shakes as the words leave your lips. You grip the island behind you, holding on for dear life as if it could save you. Anyone. If there is anyone who could save you right nowâŠ
"Why is everything always a mess when I see you?" A low grumble catches your attention, your eyes flickering to Joshua standing at the living room entrance. Joshua. Did you not close the door when you walked in? Has he been following you? God, is he with this freak?
Just what is with your luck today?
"Who are you?" Minjae turns to him defensively. Thank god. Not with him then. Still, that doesn't explain why he's at your house right now.
Even though, you don't think you're in a place to question that. As long as he can get you out of this situation, you don't care how he got here. "Joshua," you breathe out, everything about you desperate and pleading.
"You know this guy?" Minjae turns to you again, accusing. Crap.
"Kindâ No! I mean no! I've only seen him on the TV," you try to excuse quickly.
Joshua steps closer to you without a single care about the other dude in the room, ignoring his yells after him to get away from you. A part of you is glad he does. Now that he is standing between you and your fan, you feel much safer. "Let's make a deal."
"What?" Your eyes widen. "Now? Don't you see there'sâ"
"I said get away from her!"
"Joshua!" You gasp when you see another one of your vases flying his way, only for him to raise his arm and snap his fingers as if that were to do anything. Your vase lands right on the kitchen island beside you in perfect condition.
Wait, what?
"Deal," he prompts.
You catch Minjae taking out a knife from his pocket over Joshua's shoulder, your panic growing. "Fine! Okay! Whatever you want!" You nod eagerly. "Just help me, please."
Joshua tilts his head from side to side as if to stretch, turning his back to you. "I don't usually get involved before getting a signature, but this guy gives me the creeps," he mumbles, crossing the room to get to the intruder.
You take your chance as Joshua makes himself busy and make your way past them, rushing to the window door connected to your garden. The police, you remember. Your hands shake as you try to get your phone out of your purse, your legs weak.
You get to the fence, leaning on it with one hand for more support while you try to open your phone with the other. You don't think you've ever been as scares as you are right now. Your fingers won't work properly, typing in the wrong pass code. God damn it, focus.
Glancing back at the house, your fear only grows when you don't catch a sign of anyone inside. You drop to the ground, unable to stay on your feet any longer. What are you going to do if Joshua is somehow involved after all? What if they are making up a plan how to kidnap you right now without causing a scene? What if there is someone else inside the house you haven't seen yet?
Quickly scanning your surroundings to check for anyone waiting to jump at you, you force your fingers to unlock your phone. Once that's done, dialing the police number is not as big of a struggle. You need to let them know what's happening. You need to make sure you aren't letting go of your possibly only chance at saving. You have no idea what Joshua's deal is, but you're not risking anything. Not when you got the chance to save yourself.
The call goes through, but you don't manage to say anything as your hand falls down to your side, your eyes glued to the man walking through your glass door. You know you should talk to the police. You know that's the only way of making sure nothing will happen to you. But as Joshua comes into your view again, glowing in the darkness of the night, you can't help but freeze.
He's got this weird pull to him. One that makes you forget everything about what's happening.
Offering you his hand, you feel your breath catch as you take it carefully.
The glass door slides open again and your eyes widen, the momentary feeling of comfort vanishing when you see Minjae running towards you at full force with a knife in his hands. God. Is this how you die? Closing your eyes, not wanting to look at his face when the knife comes, you drop Joshua's hand again, ready for the end.
But the knife doesn't come.
Your eyes slowly crack open, partly in surprise and partly in curiosity. How come nothing happened?
You learn why as soon as you open your eyes to find Joshua in front of you, his brows furrowed in pain. "Why did youâ Joshua!" You panic, your hands trembling as you try to think of what to do. He falls to the ground in front of you, the same knife you thought was going to kill you now stabbed in his flesh. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
Pressing your hands to the wound, you desperately try to stop all the blood from leaving his body. Your eyes can't seem to settle, flickering all over him.
"No, no, no, stay still," you beg him as he turns over on his side. He doesn't listen to you at all through, wincing as he pulls the knife out of his body. "You're going to bleed out! You can't justâ"
"Will you stay quiet for a moment?" He hisses at you, pressing his palm to his wound and closing his eyes.
You're not sure what he's trying to do because the only thing that happens is that his hand gets soaked in his blood. "Whatâ" he coughs, the words catching in his throat as he feels the blood on his tongue. It's the first time in forever he's felt like thisâweakâpain consuming his whole. Why is he not healing?
It's not the right time for "I told you so" though so you join him instead, pressing both of your hands over his, hoping to help a little. The police. Of fucking course.
"Help!" You yell into your phone lying on the ground. You're not sure when you managed to drop it. Probably somewhere between the second you saw Minjae and when Joshua was stabbed. "There'sâ Iâ I've been attacked and thenâ there is so much bloodâ"
You hear a faint response, taking one of your hands away from him while the other presses against the wound harder than before, putting the call on speaker. Thank god they didn't hang up on you when you weren't responding. You can only assume they heard the background noise and figured it wasn't a prank call.
"God," Joshua whines weakly but you don't pay him much attention, needing to get help for him as soon as possible. If you don't get a professional to him soon⊠you don't even want to think about what that'd mean.
"We need an ambulance immediatelyâ" You yelp as Joshua grips your wrist, pulling it to himself. Turning your head to face him again instead of the phone, you let your eyes quickly scan his figure, wondering what he's doing. It's no time for games. No matter how much he has you questioning his motives and what he's doing at your house, you aren't letting him die.
"YouâŠ" his voice is so quiet you doubt if it's him speaking.
"Me?" You question, panicked.
Whatever he wanted to tell you, he doesn't finish, the rest of the sentence dying in his throat as his eyes close. No, no, no, no. You refuse to let it end like this.
You won't watch him die. You refuse to.
Joshua's head feels like it's been split apart.
His whole body hurts. Making out the faint noises in the background is hard. Opening his eyes is even harder. Is this what being dead feels like?
He's been dreading this his entire life. He's been escaping hell for over two hundred years, and it's a crazy guy with a knife that gets him in the end? He refuses to believe that.
But hell doesn't come. Instead of the heat he expects, it's cold that surrounds him, his body shivering. Instead of loud roars and the sounds of desperate screams, it's your soft voice that rings in his ears. And instead of seeing everyone he sent to suffer for eternity, he sees a white room and a doctor when he finally forces his eyes open.
What's going on?
He was convinced the knife in his back was the end of him. When he realized his tattoo and powers had disappeared, there was no hope left for him. There was no way he could have saved himself.
"Fucking hell," you breathe out when your eyes land on him, dropping back down to the chair you've been occupying all night, waiting for him to wake up.
"Far from there." Joshua's eyes close again, pain rushing through him. "I think."
"I need you to limit your movements to minimum, Mr. Hong," the doctor stops him before he can push himself up from the hospital bed, only then making him realize where he is. He is in no hell after all. He's in the hospital.
Because he couldn't save himself, he reminds himself. His powers are gone.
This is so much worse than hell.
"Give me your hand," he prompts, reaching for you, ignoring the doctor's orders.
"Why?" You frown, confused.
"Give me your hand," he repeats, this time more demanding. You hesitate as you offer him your left hand, only for him to brush it off. "The other one."
"Seems like nearly dying didn't make you any less of an asshole," you huff, giving him your right hand this time. He tugs you closer in an instant, ignoring your lost eyes and rolling your sleeve up. There it is. His little cross mark. And it's still resting on your wrist just like it was last night when he was unable to heal himself.
"How did you do this?"
"Did what?" You shake your head, letting your eyes drop to your hand, not understanding what he's talking about. Your eyes widen instantly. "Why is there a tattoo on my skin?" You gasp, forcing your hand away from him to look at it from up close.
"I'll leave the two of you alone for now," the doctor says, but neither you or Joshua are listening to him, both too focused on the magic mark.
"Stop rubbing it," Joshua hisses and your eyes flicker to his. "It's not a tattoo."
"You know something about this?" Your confusion only grows. "Oh my company is going to kill me! I can't have any visible tattoos. And my mom! God, she'll be furious when she finds out I inked my skin without her permission!"
"It is not a tattoo," he reminds you. "And it's mine," he reaches for your hand again. "So tell me how you managed to steal it from me."
"Steal it from you?" You scoff in amusement, finding him ridiculous. "I don't want your stupid tattoo!"
There is a strong pain in his back but he refuses to let go of your hand, holding you as close as he can. It's the only way he can think properly. Touching his mark like this.
His grip gets tighter as he desperately clings onto it, making your brows furrow. "Let go of me, Mr. Hong," you tell him, trying to pull your hand away. It doesn't work. "Mr. Hong," you plead again. Nothing. "Joshua!"
His eyes widen, almost as if your voice only reached him now. His grip loosens and you immediately pull your hand again, hiding it behind your back. Your eyes are filled with pain as you look at him, trying to make sense of what's happening. Nothing makes sense. From the moment he suddenly appeared in your home up to now. You can't explain it, but everything feels odd.
You hear the door sliding open and finally pull your gaze away from him, locking eyes with the one person you've been waiting to get here. Chaewon clears her throat as she steps inside, her eyes giving away how scared she is despite her trying to look indifferent. You can read her too well for that, though. "The detectives are looking to speak to you," she claims, stepping aside to create more space for them.
Before you can tell her to bring them in, two men are already walking in, notepads in their hands. You briefly remember one of them greeting you when you first got here last night, but you were so busy praying the doctors could still save Joshua that you couldn't say what he told you or what his name was.
"Officer Lee Seokmin. We met earlier," he offers you a smile as if he could read your mind, extending his hand towards you. You stand up from your chair, not giving Joshua another glance as you join the police officers.
"Officer Xu Minghao," the other, slightly taller, officer greets you as well. "We need to take your statements about last night's incident. Separately if possible."
"The more you'll tell us, the easier it will be to identify the suspect and take legal maters."
"We'll help in any way we can," you nod quickly.
"I'm out of here as soon as I give you that statement," Joshua shakes his head, pushing himself up on the bed.
You can clearly see the panic in Officer Lee's eyes as he rushes towards him, trying to help. "Mr. Hong, you shouldn't be moving much. I will talk with you here while Mr. Xu talks to your girlfriend."
"We are not together," you both tell him at the same time and you shoot him a look. The fact you are offended by someone believing you are with him is one thing, but why would he make it sound like being with you would be something terrible?
"Oh, that's my mistake," Officer Lee apologizes quickly. "But to be frank with you, that information only puts more questions in my head."
Well, maybe you'll be able to get your answers as well. You still can't figure out how Joshua got into your house at the exact time you needed someone to save you. As grateful to him as you are, he has a lot of explaining to do.
"Are you positive you're okay?" Chaewon asks you for what feels like the hundred time, walking with you to her car to get you to the company and then your new apartment.
When you gave her a call last night after making it into the hospital, she did everything she could to prevent more situations like this. But you're not naive. You know you can't just escape this in the blink of an eye. If you could, you would have done it a long time ago.
No matter how much she or the rest of your staff tries, there is no way to control every single fan and make sure none of them are sick in the head or wanting to kill you. Both attributes you believe the guy that broke into your house last night possessed. You should have been more careful. You loved that location.
"I'm all good," you tell her again. "Fortunately, I made it out without a single scratch unlike someone," you mumble, your smile disappearing at the memory of you trying to hard to stop the bleeding. "Can we make it up to him somehow? A financial reward or something?"
"I've taken care of that already," she assures you. "I've gotten Mr. Hong's contact information and promised a compensation for all the trouble he went through as well as gave him my dearest apologies."
"Good," you nod, more to yourself than to her. Sliding into the passenger seat, you wait for Chaewon to join you so you can go. "Has the police said anything to you?"
"I'm sorry," she shakes her head. "They assured me they'll give me a call once they have anything, though."
"Okay," you nod again, the entire situation suddenly making you feel small.
You couldn't do anything last night. You barely managed to call the police while Joshua was saving your life, and then when it came to it, it was him again who got hurt. As if that already wasn't bad enough, now you just have to sit back and wait for them to figure it out on their own? You want to help. However you can.
"Your mother called me this morning," Chae tells you as she drives off into the busy street. "She wanted to know about your date, and when I told her what happened last night, she demanded you give her a call first thing. As much as I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, I don't think it's about your well being, though."
A heavy sigh leaves your lips. "I'll call her when I settle in. I can't deal with her before I have my coffee."
"If you'd like I could give her a call instead and claim your busy schedule doesn't give you any time in the near future to see her or any other dates?"
"It's okay," you shake her head. "We both know that wouldn't stop her. I'll call her."
Just like you said you would, a phone call to your mother is the first thing you do as soon as you've made yourself a cup of coffee and settled in the corner of your new couch.
Chaewon found a new apartment for you just a few blocks from your company, making it more comfortable for you as well as making it more accessible in case of an emergency similar to last night. It's nice. Not as big as your previous house was, and you certainly don't have a garden on this top floor, but it'll more than do.
It's a modern style place with four separate rooms, filled with all kinds of memories of your career. The decorators must have had fun while you were in the hospital. All of your previous albums line a bookshelf in the living room, and there are posters of you on the wallsâones you are sure to take down before night comes around. As much as you're proud of what you've built, you don't need to look at old pictures of yourself on stage every morning.
You're glad for the full length glass doors that lead to your balcony. If there is one thing you would have missed about your old place, it'd be the ability to look outside at the night sky whenever you want. You're glad they managed to keep that in.
You look out as you make yourself more comfortable, waiting for the call to go through. The sky is clear this time around, no clouds in sight. It's starting to be warm out again.
"Where have you been all day?" Is the first thing you hear when she picks up.
Closing your eyes, you prepare for the mental slap this phone call will give you. "The hospital."
"I thought you weren't hurt?"
"I wasn't," you roll your eyes. "I'm all good, thanks for asking. I stayed in with Joshua so I could make sure he was alright as well. It was my fault after all."
"Joshua? Who is that?" You can hear the disapproving look on her face as she speaks. It's the same look she used to give you whenever you mentioned a boy she didn't personally hand pick when you were younger.
"Joshua Hong? The CEO of Hong F&B you set me up with?" You frown back. "Have you forgotten already?"
"How are you talking to me right now?" She snaps and you pull the phone away from your ear, seriously debating just hanging up on her. Her next words stop you, though. "I thought I finally put some sense into you yesterday just for you to not show up on your date? Do you know how embarrassed I was when I got the call earlier?"
"I went on the date," you argue, confused. "With Joshua. We ate together and then he was the one to save me from that stalker."
"Joshua this, Joshua that," she huffs, annoyed. "Mr. Choi was waiting for you for two hours before he left! He didn't want to make a big deal out of it but his father called me to let me know. Thank god he did. What were you even thinking?"
"Who's Mr. Choi?"
"Choi Seungcheol? The man you were supposed to go on a date with?" Her annoyance only grows, making sure you know she's tired of having to explain everything to you.
"Joshua was the one waiting at the restaurant, though." The longer you talk to her, the less sense it all makes.
"The one on main street?"
"What? No. This is the location you gave us," you claim, quickly sending her the restaurant address.
"That is not the place I gave your little manager. Did she manage to mess this up as well?"
"Stop putting Chaewon in your mouth."
She scoffs on the other side of the phone. "Why don't you just date her if she's so important to you and cut us off completely?"
"I as well might," you mumble back, tired of this all.
But she doesn't stop. "I do everything for you and your future and this is how you repay me? You don't listen! How many times have we told you not to mess up your life and stay in our company? How many times have I tried my hardest to make you happy just for you to dismiss me like some stray cat?"
There it is. The victim card she loves to play. "I'm hanging up, mom," you announce, not giving her a chance to answer before throwing your phone on the other side of the couch with a sigh. You can't wait to go to sleep.
Reaching for your cup of coffee, your eyes land on your right wrist and the mark. How on Earth did you come to it again? Right, there is no explanation. Other than Joshua being a wizard who can just place a tattoo on someone without them noticing, of course.
The memory of Joshua on the ground flashes through your mind and you close your eyes shut, trying to shake it off. You need to think about something else. Anything.
Sitting on your date with Joshua is the first thing that comes to mind, a tiny smile spreading on your lips as you think about your arguments. He's a prick. A weirdo with no manners, and quite definitely your type.
You're not sure if you want to see him again.
Your phone rings, forcing you out of your thoughts. If it's your mother again you might as well call the creep from yesterday and tell him to finish the job.
Leaning forward to grab it back with a groan, you scan the unknown number before picking up. "Hello?" You ask confusedly. Who would even be calling you right now? When Chaewon found out what happened last night, she canceled all schedules today, so no one should be needing you.
"It's Joshua," he says simply and your frown deepens.
"How did you get my number?"
"Your manager was trying to save my number, talking about some money, and I saw your contact."
Did you mention that he's weird yet? It feels like you don't say it enough.
"So you, what? Stole it from her? Do you have no sense of personal space?"
"You weren't asking me that when I moved in front of you to save your life." You can practically see the smile on his face, clearly proud of himself for making you feel bad.
"I'm sorry for getting you involved, again. Even though, if I'm honest, I'm still not sure how you got there or what you were doing at my house." You stretch your legs on the couch, bringing your coffee to your lips as you wait for his answer.
"I had an inkling."
"About?" You raise an eyebrow, doubting him.
"A desperate person willing to sell their soul."
"You make no sense," you shake your head, deciding to ignore the bullshit explanation he just gave you. He surely does have the mind of a poet to be speaking like this. "What does that make you? A superhero saving the world?"
"The opposite, in fact."
The villain of the story. Sure, why not? Despite having no idea what those little metaphors mean, you don't plan on popping his bubble or anything. If he wants to play the bad guy, then you're not going to stop him.
"Is this why you called? To tell me how terrible you are?"
"No," Joshua rolls his eyes. "I want to meet up. I'm out of the hospital so let's go out."
Go out? With Joshua? What?
No is the right answer. Absolutely not is what you should respond. Going out is the last thing you want to do today, and with him on top of everything? Why should you? Your date with him was terrible and the two of you only arguedâ Fuck. The date you weren't supposed to be on.
God, you need to apologize.
With how many times you've already said sorry to him, you might as well just drop to your knees and beg for forgiveness now.
Screw you blind dates and screw you mom. Had it not been for her demands on setting you up with someone, you wouldn't be in this situation at all.
You would also likely be dead.
A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you look at the current time. "They let you out already?"
"Sure did," he hums. "The doctor kept saying something about a miracle but I'm pretty sure it was because of you."
Huh? Since when is it so hot here?
You feel your cheeks heat up, unsure what he means. Is he flirting with you? Maybe it's the consequence of yesterday's trauma and you're hearing things. That would make much more sense than Joshua Hongâthe same guy who would die if he were to be nice to you on your dateâasking you out and flirting with you.
But then again, if you think about it, he did save you more than once already.
Maybe he wasn't just all bad after all.
"Okay," you nod.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I'll meet you for dinner."
Slipping out of your car, you scan your surroundings to see if Joshua is already here. You don't catch him anywhere. You're not sure if you like the place he wanted to meet at. It's public. Maybe a little too public to your liking. And while that should be technically perfect since you both have witnesses and everyone can see what you're doing, both of those advantages feel a little unfortunate at the same time.
A part of you wishes you could be alone with him.
"Has no one taught you not to let a lady waiting?" You cross your arms in front of your chest as soon as you see him walking towards you. "Then again, it would be on brand for you."
He ignores your comment, grabbing your wrist before you can realize what's going on, and tugging you back towards his car. "We are going on a trip," he explains simply.
"Whatâ hold on, Joshuaâ" Despite your mouth trying to protest, your legs keep following him as if it were the easiest thing they've ever had to do. "My car!" You remember. "I have my car there," you try pointing towards the parking spot but he doesn't even glance back.
"You can get your car later," he brushes you off. "I need you right now."
It's as if he had you under some sort of spell, all the reasons why you shouldn't just follow himâbarely an acquaintanceâanywhere he wants disappearing in the blink of an eye.
Your eyes flicker around the place to make sure no one is following you or any rumors are about to start, letting him take you to his car. You dip into the passenger seat, scanning the interior. The display is huge, taking up the entire length. He's got the radio on but the volume is set so low you barely hear it. Pushing your seat forward a bit, you get a good feel on the leather covering it, humming in satisfaction.
You quickly shake yourself out of it. You're not supposed to be appreciating his choice of vehicle right now.
So instead of appreciating it, you decide to analyze it instead.
The car screams luxury in every shape and form. It fits him perfectly. Without knowing anything about the brand or model, you can tell he likes being able to look at what his money bought him. You don't blame him in that sense. What you can blame him about, though, is how entitled he is because of it.
You hate this car already.
"Which brand is this?" You wonder when he joins you, deciding not to focus on the fact he could literally kidnap you right now if he wanted to. Maybe you should send Chaewon a quick text.
"Hongqi H9," he answers without pondering over your question much. You hum, making a mental note to never buy that car. As much as your body seems to love having him close and the thrill of it, your brain is on your side and wants nothing to do with him. If only your mind was strong enough for your body to listen as well.
He doesn't say anything else after, driving off. You look out of the window, making sure to watch carefully where he is headed. You can't tell him no no matter how hard you try, though. So after a few minutes, you finally ask. "Where are you taking me?"
"I have a contract that expires today."
You frown, averting your eyes from the outside and staring at him. "What now?"
"A contract. Surely you know what that is."
"I'm not stupid," you roll your eyes, annoyed. There it is. You like this reaction much more than the one you had before when he used his sweet words to lure you in. "What on Earth do you need me for?"
"My powers are gone," he mumbles as if that were to make any sense to you. You watch as his hands grip the steering wheel tighter, making sure to keep his eyes on the road and not look at you. You tilt your head to the side. Okay. Maybe this isn't some sick joke he is playing on you. He looks seriously pissed. "And for some stupid reasonâ" he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, "You have them."
"Joshua, I bet you sound really incredible in your own head and that these metaphors make sense to you butâ" You don't get to finish your sentence as he reaches for your right wrist, leaning all over the consol to get to you. Your eyes widen, panic over him not having a proper control of the wheel taking over you for a split second. But then the car keeps going in a straight line, no dangerous slip ups or anything.
"I have no idea why they suddenly jumped to you, but I can't use them without holding you." His eyes look tired. You don't even think he's angry anymore, he just seems exhausted. "Trust me, I tried," he sighs, letting his eyes close for a second. The panic settles in you all over again. How the hell is this car still going safe and steady?
"Joshua, the carâ"
"The car won't crash as long as I'm holding your wrist," he assures you, way too calm for your liking. No matter what he believes, what metaphors he is spitting at you hoping you'd understand, this doesn't make any sense. "What do I need to do to have you believe me?"
"Let's start by you paying attention to the roadâ" Doing the exact opposite of what you just asked him for, he lets go of the wheel completely, leaning back in his seat and gripping your wrist tightly. You watch as the wheel turns on it's own, the car taking a left turn. What the fuck? No, this doesn'tâ this isn'tâ "What the fuck?" You breathe out finally.
"Will you finally listen or do I need to let go of your hand and crash the car first?"
Okay, you need to relax. Your eyes flicker all over his calm self, trying to mimic it. The car isn't crashing, you tell yourself. You have no idea how, but he's got it under control. You'll live. "Okay so," you swallow all your worries, turning to face him fully and avoid looking at the road. "What the fuck?" You repeat your previous question, now actually willing to hear his answer.
"I'm not lying to you," his eyes meet yours, doing their best to convince you. "This markâthis tattoo like you like to call itâis not just some ink on your skin. It's mine. And it carries everything I exist for."
So maybe you've gotten Joshua Hong wrong. Maybe he isn't a spoiled brat who never had to work a finger in his childhood which caused him to grow into an asshole. Maybe he is just a mentally ill psycho. That would explain everything, wouldn't it?
But the longer you look into his eyes, the harder it is to think he doesn't believe with every inch of his soul that what he says is true. What if it is the truth? What if, by some sick twist of the universe, the mark on your wrist does have powers than are now in your body. What if he does have powers? What if there is an entire new world beyond what you've known and trusted your entire life?
You don't say anything else. You can't. The words won't leave your mouth. Instead, you lean back in your seat, staring mindlessly on the road ahead as Joshua drives the car to who knows whereâstill refusing to put his hands on the wheel.
The car comes to a sudden stop after taking a swift turn. It's only then that you blink out of your thoughts, quickly scanning your surroundings. You're parked in front of a judo studio. Huh? You look at Joshua to question why he took you here, but before you can voice your curiosity, he is leaning over your side, making a little finger gun and whispering "bang."
Your eyes trail his, landing on a group of four guys standing in front of the entrance. They each have their own gym bag over their shoulder, laughing as soon as they see you in the car. Based on Joshua's proud grin as he leans back in his seat again, you have a hunch they aren't laughing at you but at him. Glancing back at them to apologize, your eyes widen in horror as you watch one of them fall to the ground. "Whatâ" The rest of the men quickly gather around the fallen one, asking what's happening, asking the same you're wondering as Joshua starts the car again and quickly drives off.
"Did you just kill the guy??" You question, petrified.
"The terms of our deal came to an end," he says simply. "He killed himself."
You finally tear your hand away from him, hiding it in your lap. He quickly grabs the steering wheel again, forced to actually drive instead of just using hisâyour?âpowers. "Did he?" you ask in disbelief. "Is that what would have happened if I signed the contract last night? You would have saved me just to kill me right after?"
Joshua's grip on the wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white. You wonder what's going on in his head. "I provide offersâsolutions to problems, chances at brighter futures, money, you name itâin exchange for the soul. People get ten years of the life they want, they get to live out their dreams, their desires, and then their souls go to where they belong."
"And where would that be?"
"Hell."
Your mouth closes as soon as he gives you an answer. You think back to the man, wondering what could have possibly been worth shortening his life like this. Surely Joshua must have stated the terms of the deal beforehand. Surely he had to know what he was getting himself into.
Just like you did? A voice in the back of your head speaks. Your throat feels dry.
"Who was he?" You break the silence.
A part of you expects the obvious answerâfor him to tell you he doesn't know, doesn't care. Instead, his voice bubbles in your ears again. "When I fist met him, he was a street fighter getting involved with people that would have easily made his life far worse than hell is. He was suspended from his old judo when he almost killed an opponent in a match. It resolved to him picking fights anywhere he went instead."
Oh. You try answering, even though you're not sure what you want to say, only for him to continue. "I sense the feeling of desperation," he explains. "I sensed it on you last night, and I sensed it on him those years ago when I found him in the middle of a bar fight, about to run out of his luck and die. I made sure he lived and could compete under judge's eyes again. He's been winning tournaments in this judo since then."
"You saved him from the streets," you think out loud.
"I wasn't doing it to help him," Joshua claims, but you still feel like a part of him did. Like it wasn't just for his own goodâfor whatever it is that he gets out of these deals.
"What are you?" You ask, turning to face him. You look at him for the first time since he started driving off, scanning his features. "An angel?"
His eyes meet yours briefly, "Angels never come to save you, darling."
Joshua dropped you off right beside your car again. He suggested driving you home, but you insisted. You need to clean your head and a little drive around the city is more than great for that. Your car is certainly smaller than hisânot because you couldn't afford it, but because you never wanted anything moreâless modern too, but it's perfect for rides alone. People expect for idols to be driving in more expensive cars, but you like falling into place with everyone else. No need to be extraordinary.
It's late, the sky no longer the bright blue it was during the day, stars decorating every bit. You don't get to look at them much, though. You only look at the road ahead of you and go over your earlier conversation with Joshua. The terms of our deal came to an end. He killed himself.
My powers are gone. For some stupid reason, you have them.
I sense the feeling of desperation. I sensed it on you last night.
Everything he told you today rings loud and clear in your head. You go over them, break the sentences apart and restructure them again. Nothing comes up. You can't change the meaning of what he said in order to make more sense of it. There is no single scientific answer to this, and it makes you feel like you're going crazy.
Angels and demons. Heaven and hell. Good and bad. You never thought much about it. Why would you? The life after always seemed so far away. But nowâŠyou can't help but wonder. Wonder what awaits you, how Joshua falls into all of this, and if you've done everything you could right.
You're so lost in your own thoughts, driving around for what might as well be hours. Thank God you filled up your tank just last week. Should you even be thanking God? Can you? Your eyes instinctively fall to your right wrist, to the black cross mark on there.
You don't let yourself get distracted for too long, checking your mirrors again and paying attention to the road. You should get home.
But it doesn't feel right.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The voice in your head won't stop, making you frown.
Something is wrong. What though?
Checking your map, you assure yourself you didn't drive somewhere too far away. Looking at your gas icon, you make sure you aren't about to run out. The road ahead seems clean, no other cars in sight that could cause you to get into a traffic jam. There is a car behind you, but it's been there for a while, so it's nothing out of the ordinary either.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Your eyes widen. How long has the car been following you for?
You take the first left you can, checking your mirrors to see if he's still behind you.
He takes the same left.
Fuck.
You try slowing down, hoping that maybe he'll get bored and overtakes you, but not even the difference in speed stops him. You hold the wheel with one hand, doing your best to make sure you're not going off the road as you switch from your phone maps to your contacts. Joshua's number is the first you see, and you don't hesitate for a second before calling him.
He picks up on the second ring, his voice echoing in the car. "Your powers," you blurt out instead of hello. "Did your sixth desperation sense jump onto me as well?" Joshua frowns on the other side of the call, questioning what you mean. "Because I can really feel my own desperation right now."
"What's going on?" He asks, the switch in his tone obvious. "Are you okay?"
You're not sure if his concern comes from the mark of his you carry or genuine worries for your well being, but you don't question him right now. "Someone is following me."
"You're still not home?"
"I needed to clear my head," you explain. "I've been driving around since you dropped me off. I'm not sureâ he's been behind me for some time, though. I'm going in circles so it doesn't make any sense."
"Don't drive home," he advises. "Where are you? I'll come get you."
"I'm," you look around, not sure yourself. "I'm a few blocks from the JYP building."
"Alright, drive around for a bit more and then meet me there. I can get there in fifteen minutes."
"Are you sure it'll be okay?"
"You're safe," he assures you. "I'm on the phone if you have doubts."
You nod, forgetting he can't see you over the call. "Joshua?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
Just like he told you so, you decided to drive around for a few more minutes, your anxiety getting worse with each turn the black SUV took after you. But you made it to the JYP building in exactly fifteen minutes, just like Joshua told you to. You parked your car at the last open spot in the front, watching as whoever was driving the car kept on going, taking the first right he could find.
Your fingers hover over your phone screen, wanting to get Joshua on the line again. Before you can do so, a knock on your car window startles you.
All your worries wash away as your eyes lock on a familiar figure, Joshua standing outside your car in all his glory, a simple white sweater and dress pants on. He changed in the while you haven't seen him. You roll your window down, taking down the barrier between you. "Hi," you breathe out in relief.
"Hey," he offers you a small smile. You blink up at him, your eyes scanning the new look you've just discovered. Is this the first time he smiled at you? It doesn't reach his eyes completely but it's a step forward, you think. Not that you'd want a step forward. Even though, you're not sure if the option of never seeing him again is still available now that you apparently possess his powers. "Get out, I'll drive you home."
You arch your eyebrows at him and he rolls his eyes. "Or if you'd like to keep driving and try your luck, I can go home."
"No!" You shake your head quickly. "What about my car, though?"
"Have someone pick it up for you later."
"What if he breaks in here or something?" You argue.
"If you can't buy a new one I can get you one," he claims as if it wasn't a big deal. As if he had money to throw around without a problem. Maybe he does. You don't even want to take a guess at his status.
"Why?"
"Why what?" He tilts his head, eyeing you as if you were the confusing one.
"Why are you doing this? Helping me so much?"
It seems to confuse him even more, his smile turning into a grimace. "Have you already forgotten?"
"Forgotten what?"
"My mark."
Right. Of course. What other reason would he have to come rushing to you across town because you are convinced someone is tailing you.
Turning your engine off, you motion for him to step aside so you can get out of your car. You make sure there isn't anything important your stalker might find liking in before locking the car behind you, following Joshua into his Hongqi.
It's the same moment Joshua drives off that you catch a glimpse of a male figure walking around the JYP building, hood over his head and hands tugged into his pocket. He keeps glancing around, as if to check if anyone else is nearby. You swallow a lump in your through as you watch him head towards your car through the window, your nerves only getting worse.
You've got too used to the quiet. If this happened last year, you would have just called Chaewon and asked her to change your address again. But it's been so long since you last dealt with with something at this extend that you completely forgot the anxiety it leaves you with, making it so much worse. A weird fan here and there happens, and you've gotten used to that. But it's been over a year since you last had someone follow you. You're not sure what changed then, when the stalking behavior stopped, and you're not sure what changed now that they're back, but no part of you likes it. Two so early after themselves makes it so much weirder.
You don't talk to Joshua except for giving him your new address and making him promise this information stays between the two of you, opening your contacts again to reach your manager.
Chaewon picks up on the first ring, just like always. "No, yeah, I'm okay. Kind of. No, you don't have to worry," you assure her while shaking your head. "I just need someone to pick up my car in the morning and make sure there aren't any tracing devises attached or anything. No, Chae, I promise I'm okay. I'm with Joshua. Yes, Mr. Hong."
Joshua glances at you briefly at the mention of his name but doesn't interrupt your conversation. "Someone was tailing me so he suggested I park at the JYP building and he picks me up. I called him. No, I'm pretty sure he isn't a stalker as well," you roll your eyes despite not being certain in your answer. But what could he possibly get out of following you? He might be unusual, but what dude that thinks he's the demon isn't?
"Want to assure my manager you aren't going to kill me?" You ask him, holding back a giggle. You put the call on speaker when he gives you a nod in return, holding it high enough for the speaker to catch his voice.
"I have no intentions at murdering someone tonight," he says, keeping his eyes on the road. "I'm not a murderer." This time, as he speaks, he meets your eyes and you know he's referring back to your earlier conversation. The terms of our deal came to an end. He killed himself.
"Thank you for ensuring she is safe, Mr. Hong," she sighs, relief clear from her tone. "The entire staff team is grateful to you for everything you're doing."
"Alright, no need to raise his ego with this," you stop her before she can start praising him for breathing. You know she wouldn't go that far and what she says is valid, but you feel to embarrassed to have him listen to more. "Can you get someone to get my car? I'm just hoping it stays safe."
You stay on the phone with her for a while longer, only hanging up once Joshua parks in front of your new apartment building. You step out, lingering at the door as you meet his eyes again. "Thank you. For everything."
He nods, not giving you the pleasure of smiling again. "Call me tomorrow when you're free."
"Why?"
"So we can figure out how I can get back what's mine."
You fight the urge to sigh, nodding instead. It's the least you can do. He did save you twice already. Three times, if you count the weird encounter at the restaurant. "Good night, Joshua."
He hums, "Night."
Company meetings might be your least favorite parts of the job. This one is bearable, it's for your safety after all, but you can't say all meetings are like this. Most of them just feel unnecessary and like a waste of your practice time.
"It's getting out of hand."
"It was out of hand when someone broke into her house."
"Have there been any recent threats online we should trace back?"
"We need to double the security. She shouldn't be alone anymore."
Your eyes snap up to Chaewon when she adds her opinion to the conversation, shaking your head quickly. You value your alone time too much for that. Is there no other solution? She knows how much you appreciate the free time you get and opportunities, which only answers your previous question. If there was any other option she wouldn't be saying this.
"Joshua," you blurt out quickly, joining the conversation for the first time since you started. "He can accompany me."
"Who?" Eyebrows are raised in a question and you struggle to speak again. You should have thought this through before.
"He⊠We've been on a date before." Kind of? It's not a lie, is it? Technically it was a date even though you were never supposed to be in the restaurant with him. "He was the one who was with me when the intruder appeared and he came for me yesterday as well."
The looks the staff around exchanges are all uncertain, clearly not liking the idea of letting in someone from the outside to look after you. "I've met Mr. Hong before. He does not seem dangerous," Chaewon tells them but you both know she is not as sure in her words as she'd like to be.
You don't tell them he is too invested in the mark you carry to hurt you. Instead, you settle for a more believable reasoning. "We'll be spending more time together either way, and it'll be more comfortable for both of us if there isn't anyone from the company following us all the time. I'm sure you understand that," you give them a look that suggests there a lot more between you and Joshua than actually is, hoping that could work.
"Are you sure about this, Miss?" Chaewon is the first one to speak, but everyone follows right after, repeating the same question.
"I am," you nod. "We'd make it official. Make him my personal bodyguard. He'll be able to protect me at all times." You're not sure if that's even possible, if he can make himself available from his own work and keep by your side. If he wants to keep his precious little tattoo safe, then he should.
"This Joshua," a staff whose name you don't remember clears his throat. "Is the real deal?"
"We plan on continuing to see each other," you assure them. "If he's my bodyguard, it also won't raise questions in the pres when we are together. There are only pros to this."
"I'll arrange a meeting with Mr. Hong and see what we can do," Chaewon offers you a smile, one that tells you just how surprised she is by you. You're not sure if it's because you just told the entire staff team that you are seeing Joshua or because of how engaged you were in a meeting for the first time in months.
"Perfect. Shall we call it a day then?"
You don't wait for their answer, collecting your things and heading back to your practice room. As soon as the door shuts behind you, you take out your phone and dial Joshua's number.
"Off work already? Give me ten minutes and I'll pick you up," he asks instead of a greeting.
"Hello to you too," you shake your head. "And no. I'm only now starting my dance practice. I'll be here for a few more hours before we can go do whatever you think will reverse this sick joke."
"What is it then? Don't tell me you have another stalker on you."
"Don't even joke about that," you warn him. "If someone follows me as I leave today I will curse your whole bloodline."
He laughs. A sound so pretty and special your brain categorizes it as a starting addiction.
You are quick to snap out of it, shaking the thoughts off and burying them deep inside. You don't need to be thinking about how good his laugh sounds or how you want to hear it again.
"If there is another stalker, I'll just take care of him for you. You just have to let me hold your hand."
If anyone else overheard your conversation, they would probably think Joshua is smitten by you. It sounds so innocent, a boyfriend flirting with his girlfriend, saying he'll save the day if his lover just lets him hold her hand for a moment. Had you not known better, you might fall for it as well. But if Joshua managed to do anything in the short while you've known him, it's convince you that he only cares about himself and his powers. It's an inconvenience that his powers are now in your handsâquite literallyâand he has to care for you as well.
Had it not been for the stupid mark, he would have been long gone from your life.
"I kind of threw you under the bus in my meeting just now," you finally tell him the reason you called as you go take a seat on the large couch opposite the window lining a whole wall. "And I really hope you don't do the same to me and agree to help."
"Help with what?" He sounds skeptical. You don't blame him. You would feel the same way.
"Be my bodyguard."
"No," he scoffs immediately, not giving you a chance to explain yourself.
"Please," you beg. "You need this as much as I do. If you don't take the position they'll have someone else fill in the spot and there won't be a chance for you to try and figure out what happened or how to have everything go back to normal. There will be someone on my side all the time and I won't be able to meet you properly again."
It's quiet on his side of the line as he thinks about it. It's a shitty situation either way, but only one scenario make life a lot less miserable for the both of you. You can help him and he can help you. It's the only way.
"What does being your bodyguard mean for me?"
"You get to carry a gun around?" you offer. "I think, maybe. I'm not actually sure," you mumble, so quietly you're not sure if he can make the words out. You don't want him to decide not to. You need him on the job. "And I'll be forever grateful to you?"
He doesn't shut you down right away like before, and you take that as a good sign. "I'm assuming your assistant will want to call me?"
"Chaewon, yes. And she is my manager, not an assistant."
"Same thing," he brushes you off. "Alright, I'll have the talk with her. I'll tell her I'm the best for the job or whatever."
A smile spreads on your lips. "Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"
"Okay," your name leaves his lips as he laughs at your reaction, the sound even more beautiful than last time. "Calm down. Don't you have to dancing to do or something?"
You laugh with him, relieved to have that taken care of as you hang up the call. You look at your phone screen for a second, staring at the call history. It's a while since you had someone else there other than Chae or your mother. Deciding he deserves to get his number saved, you add a new contact, your fingers hovering hesitantly over the name section. After giving it a second thought, you type in Joshua the Demon and save it.
If anyone sees and asks, you'll just turn it into an inside joke between lovers. Maybe you'll claim he calls you an angel. Maybe you'll complain he snores so bad it makes you think a demon possesses him.
Somehow, both options put a smile on your face.
You leave your phone on the couch, starting the music and getting into position. You'll practice for a while alone before your choreographer comes in. She should be here any minute now.
You're exhausted, sweating, and probably smell terrible when your choreographer calls the end of practice because Joshua decided to pay you a visit. You offer her a brief smile with your goodbye, getting back up on your feet. You fix your shirtâdefinitely not because you'd want to look your best when seeing himâas you meet his eyes, offering him the same smile.
"Hey, you uhm⊠talked to Chaewon?" Jesus. Since when are you this awkward around him? Just two days ago you were drowning in the urge to punch his face and now you're practically stumbling over your words? It must be the exhaustion. Practice drained you today. There were multiple changes in the choreography you needed to get down, and once you started pairing singing with the dance it was even worse.
"I did," he nods. "Just now." He searches for something in his pants pocket, having you blink curiously. You make use of that little time he gives you to admire his clothing. Not admire, you quickly tell yourself. Assess. That's a better word.
He's dressed for the job. A well tailored, black suit hugs his skin, the cross necklace he had when you first met him now replaced with a black tie, adding to the security look. It's the same attire you've seen most of the bodyguards at the company wear, but something tells you this piece was already sitting in his closet before he got the job. It makes it so much more attractive. "Got this little thing after signing a few papers." He takes out his earpiece and swings it on his fingers. A soft laugh escapes your lips at the sight.
"Aren't you supposed to be wearing that?"
"So I've been told," he shrugs, letting his eyes wander around the room. "I've also been asked if I am willing to move to a room in your apartment."
"What now?" You blink, pushing all the exhaustion aside. "Did Chaewon suggest that?"
He waves his hand in the air, as if to shut the conversation down. "I told them our relationship isn't at that stage yet and I'd rather just rent out my own apartment in the building." He walks closer to you, putting the earpiece where it belongs in the process. "Apparently with how much you chatted about me, the staff started thinking we were about to get married."
You nudge him away from you, rolling your eyes. Asking him to move in is something you might believe, but you definitely didn't talk about him enough for them to come to conclusions like that. If anything, his sick head did that. "Didn't you want to get this stupid mark back? If I were you I wouldn't test my patience like this."
A smile spreads on his lips as he watches you pat his shoulder before walking past him to grab your stuff from the couch. "You're the one who told them we're seeing each other," he raises his hands in surrender, keeping his eyes on youâjust like he promised Chaewon he would a moment ago. "You should have just told me you were interested in me, I would have rejected you gently."
"Right," you scoff, your back turned to him as you rummage through your bag. You refuse to look at him, knowing your cheeks are red. You did that, didn't you? You told your whole staff you were seeing Joshua and you were planning on seeing him for a while. Just what did you get yourself into? The hole you dug is much deeper than you realized.
Joshua joins your side as if he couldn't read you at all, not noticing the fact you want to be anywhere but with him right now. Clearing your throat, you push your bag into his hands and walk out first, deciding not to stop even when you hear him mumble something to himself. "Let's go! We need to figure out how to get rid of this thing as soon as possible."
"Yes, ma'am," he chuckles. When then hell did he get to your side again? Are his powers working despite him not holding your hand? You look up at him, wanting to figure it out. Not superpowers, you realize. Just a pair of long legs.
"What's the plan?"
"Just follow my lead."
"I don't like the sound of that," you tell him honestly.
He shrugs in response, "You don't exactly have a choice here."
"Great," you mumble, letting your eyes drop to the floor again. This is just going to be great.
Joshua drives you to your apartment before anything else upon your request. He doesn't seem too happy with having to prolong this, but after you argued with him about not letting him use your powers again if he doesn't drop you off at home so you can shower, he was quick to give in.
Which is why he is now standing in the middle of your apartment, his eyes wandering over every piece of furniture you own. When you first met him, you didn't peg him for a curious cat. "I'll be right back. Don't break anything in the meantime, please."
"Sure," he brushes you off, sitting at your dining table. He takes off his earpiece again and rests it in front of him. To his surprise, Chaewon hasn't directly contacted him through it so far, but if he can avoid it happening, then he will. You're right under is nose, he doesn't need to receive any commands right now.
He can hear the shower through the closed door, listening to the soft sound of the water running as he waits. Maybe he should use this time to think through what even it is he wants to try today. Because truth is, he doesn't have a plan.
He spent hours searching through all the books in his home library, as well as letting Mingyuâhis right handâlook through them for the first time. Still, they came up empty. Not even his demon guide (as Mingyu likes to call it) had anything about powers suddenly transferring, and it's been driving him insane. The only thing Mingyu managed to come up with before Joshua got a call from you that you need for him to be your bodyguard was to recreate what happened that night. He has no idea what he's going to do if that doesn't work, though.
The sound of the water stops, but he doesn't pay it any attention, too busy going through everything he learned while studying the books with Mingyu. Your voice almost doesn't reach him either. It's only when you call out to him for the third time that he snaps out of it and raises his head to meet the still closed bathroom door. "Yes?"
"Could you search through the drawers in the living room? I threw my towel into wash last night and need a new one."
He gets up with a sigh but doesn't complain. "Why don't you have your towels in the bathroom?"
"I wasn't the one who moved in my stuff but the company!" You explain. "I forgot about it because of the hurry I was in, trying to get under the water as soon as possible. They should be under the TV, though!"
Joshua shakes his head at you briefly before crouching down in front of the TV, opening one drawer after another until finally finding the one that stores your towels. He takes the first one he sees, spreading it in his arms to see if it's a small or standard sized one. "Do you want a small or a big one?"
"Big one, please!" Silence comes after your response, and it makes you frown. Still behind the shower curtains, you wonder what he's doing. Do you have that many drawers in the living room? "Are you thinking about something inappropriate?" Your frown disappears at the realization. You should have not asked him for anything.
The door cracks open and you step forward, hiding your naked body with the curtain as your head peeks out from the side. "I wasn't until you suggested that," he claims, extending his hand to you so you can take the towel from him.
You roll your eyes at him, snatching it away and disappearing behind the curtain again to dry yourself off. "You know you can leave now, right?"
"Can't, I'm in the middle of inappropriate thoughts."
With your towel carefully wrapped around your body, you push the curtain to the side, meeting his eyes with the deadliest stare you could manage. It's then that he finally cracks into a laugh, shaking his head at your reaction. "You think you're so funny."
"I am funny," he nods, the grin on his lips huge. "You should have seen yourself."
"Ha ha ha, as you can see I'm laughing really hard."
"For your information, I don't have inappropriate thoughts," he says, still finding your reaction funny. You make it seem like all he needs isn't to hold your hand in order to break all the bones in your body if he'd want to. Not that he would. While your deadly gazes don't threaten him, the idea of you taking his powers forever does. "I have no interest in those."
"Right, because you're God almighty and you're better than us humans," you roll your eyes. "How could I forget?" You step out of the shower, holding your towel tightly around yourself. Joshua doesn't turn to leave as he should, he doesn't even take a step back, forcing the two of you much closer than you'd like.
You look up to meet his eyes, only to find your face inches away from yours. You swallow all the words building up in your throat, quick to take a step back yourself when he won't do it. His eyes dip down to you, his gaze indifferent as he takes the sight of you in just a towel in. At least until you step away and the proximity you put the two of you in disappears. In that moment, when you avert your eyes from him, there is a tiny spark in his eyes. One he'd rather not think too hard about.
Clearing his throat, he finally turns his back to you, telling you to hurry as he rushed out of the room and back to the seat he claimed before.
Relief washes over you as soon as the door shuts behind him again. What was that? You don't know, and you don't think you want to. Joshua never made sense to you, so why should you start understanding him now?
You shake your head as you gaze at the door, knowing he is behind it somewhere in your apartment.
You've got one of your dresses on when you meet him again in the kitchen, leaning on the chair opposite him to get his attention. Joshua's eyes snap up to you, his eyes scanning your figure before he decides to stand up again. "You okay with that dress getting ruined?"
You arch an eyebrow at that. "You're planning on ruining my dress?"
He shrugs, "I can't promise you it won't get ruined."
You narrow your eyes, debating if you should go change or not. You have better pieces in your closet, but there are also definitely worse ones that you wouldn't mind at all ruining. He seems to see right through you, shaking his head as he reaches to wrap his hand around your wrist, changing your clothes for you by a simple finger snap. "I'll give you your dress back when we're done. Come on, we need to get to your old house."
You follow him out of your apartment while staring down at your new clothes. He managed to fit exactly into your style while also giving you a more practical options, something you can move freely around without showcasing him the whole world. Black fitted dress pants and a pastel blue blouse hugs your skin, and you have to force back a smile as you think about how good you look.
You didn't think about how his powers could be used before. Now, though, there is a whole new universe full of ways you could benefit from him with. And while you don't want to use him, it would be great if someone could help you rearrange your apartment in the way you like best instead of how you staff deemed appropriate.
Sitting in Joshua's car now almost feels like sitting in your own. You hate to admit it, but it's starting to grow on you. You swore to yourself you would never buy this brand and that you wouldn't think about how good it is, but it's hard when the seats are so comfortable.
But if you are honest, it's not the seats you like about the car the most. It's the fact it comes with a driver, and you can just lay comfortable in the passenger seat while Joshua takes care of the rest.
Still, there must be something special about the Hongqi. After all, it doesn't feel this good when it's Chaewon driving you around town.
As soon as Joshua parks his car in front of your last house, you mourn the place. It truly was your favorite of all the places you lived in until now. You're not sure why, what made it so special, but you always looked forward to coming back home after a long day at the company. You enjoyed just relaxing in your living room and watching movies on the TV. You loved being out in your garden and watching the stars once night came. You loved it all.
Joshua hesitates, not opening the door or turning the engine off as he watches you stare at the house. Your expressions holds a lot of emotions, but the strongest one, the one he doesn't think you even realize are feeling, is fear. He reaches over you to grab your hand again, forcing you to meet his eyes again. "Let's go, hm?" He nods towards the house and you watch as the Christmas lights outside you set up in the winter and never took down again turn on. The house is now lined up with colors, and even though you can't explain it, it does feel like a weight falls from your shoulders.
The house is practically empty, most of your stuff moved out and in your new apartment. Some things still stayed in place, though. The TV still hangs on the wall, your old couch is still in the room, and the vase you knocked over that night is still shattered on the floor. You don't blame them for not bothering to clean it up. They probably didn't think anyone would move in so soon after.
"So what are we doing here?" You turn to face him.
"We are going to retrace our steps," he explains, repeating the same words Mingyu told him. Who knows, maybe it will work out. "If you're okay with that?"
You avert your eyes, laughing it off. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? It's not me who got stabbed that night."
"But it is you who would have died if I didn't show up."
You close your eyes, putting on the best smile you can as you nudge him forward, telling him to go stand in the living room. He listens, but his steps are wary either way.
"I came in through the front door," you say, putting yourself back into the night. "I walked in, feeling like something wasn't right. I called out to my brother, thinking it was him pulling a prank on me or something. It wouldn't be the first time, and I didn't think there would be⊠well," you clear your throat again, walking from the front door to the living room just like you did that night.
"I walk in, can't see anything. I knock over the vase," you point at the broken thing on the floor. "When I see him I start backing away." You do just that, and Joshua takes on the role of the intruder, following you into the kitchen. Being in here again, you can admit that you were scared. You were terrified that night, and recreating the night has sent a shiver down your spine. But as you back into the kitchen and Joshua follows after you, you don't feel scared anymore.
The feeling is replaced by an entirely new one, your breath catching for a different reason when your back hits the kitchen counter and Joshua doesn't stop in his track. "You come in then," you whisper, your voice quieter than before for some reason. "You come save me."
He nods, only stopping once he is a few inches away from you. "You stand right here while he stands over there," you point to a place behind him, swallowing when you meet his eyes again. "How did you get into my house?"
"I teleported right to you," he explains, tilting his head slightly as he finds his eyes gazing into yours. "I always find my way to a desperate soul." He doesn't take his eyes off yours as he brings his hand to your face, tugging a few lost hair strands behind your ear. You lean into his touch on instinct, his thumb gently stroking your cheek.
But the moment is over just as quickly as it started, Joshua clearing his throat and taking a respectful step back. "How did he get in?" He wonders, averting his eyes from you.
You clear your throat as well, forcing your eyes off him. Stupid girl. You can practically hear your mother's voice in your ears. Just like every time you chose a guy for yourself on your own, you can hear the speech she'd give you had she seen the two of you just now. Naive, easy, daughter of hers she thought she raised better. Because how dare you ache for a man that she didn't hand pick for you? How dare you wish Joshua's hand was still on you? How dare you hope he'd touch you in different places as well?
"I'm not sure," you admit, focusing on what the two of you are doing again. "The front door was locked just like I left it when I came back."
"The garden then?" He suggests but you're quick to shake your head.
"He would have needed to climb over the fence or something, and unless he had another person to help him with that, he wouldn't be able to."
"What if he did?" Joshua thinks out loud.
"What?"
"What if he did have another person with? When I picked you up at the JYP building, there was a guy heading for your car. He was taller than the one that stabbed me."
Your eyes widen as you realize what he's implying. Is it possible those two are connected? Was there anyone else in the house that night? Is there still anyone? Panic overtakes your body again as your thoughts spiral, going over the night again and again. Broken vase, the kitchen, you running into the garden. Joshua bleeding on the ground.
Joshua.
His hand is squeezing your shoulder as your own thoughts eat you alive, forcing you back to reality. Your eyes lock with his, needing to see that he is okay. Needing to know that he didn't die that night.
"Let's go out." You nod, letting him take your hand in his as he leads you to your old garden. It's only once he lets go of you again that you realize he wasn't holding your right hand but the left one for the first time.
You press your back against the fence, similarly to how you did that night. Joshua asks for your right hand, staying far enough not to cross a line like the two of you did in the kitchen, but close enough to reach you. As soon as he wraps his fingers around the cross mark on your wrist, he snaps his fingers in the air, making a knife appear in his empty hand. Your eyes widen at the sight, questioning what he's doing.
"Stab me."
To say you are shocked is an understatement. "What? No," you shake your head harshly, pulling your hand away from him and hiding it behind your back.
"I'd much rather have you stab me than do it myself, so please," he offers the knife to you, making your eyes flicker all over him. He is completely serious, isn't he? "Don't make me beg."
"Joshua, I'm not stabbing you," you refuse, wishing you weren't already pressed up against the fence and could put more distance between you. "This isn'tâ It's not going to help us anyhow," you keep shaking your head, not sure if it's the memory of that night or the idea of being the one to stab him that makes your panic worse.
"I'll heal myself after," he assures you, a heavy sigh leaving his lips when he sees what it does to you.
Closing his eyes for a second, he debates all his options. He could give up, or he could just do it himself and see what happens. But for some reason, he doesn't want to leave you in your feelings when it's clear as day you're spiraling inside. He crosses the space between you, cupping your cheek and making you look at him. He doesn't say anything, just lets you find comfort in his eyes.
It feels like time slows down the moment you're gazing into his eyes and he is holding you as if you're something incredibly precious. You wish you were. You wish you would be so precious to him he would just keep holding you like this and the two of you would never have to go back into the real world.
"Shua," you breathe out softly.
He nods, "I'm right here. I got you."
Everything is okay, you remind yourself. He isn't dying, no one is dying. You're all safe. Your brother, Chaewon, Joshuaâthey're all okay. Nothing is happening to the people around you.
Except everything is happening.
One moment, you're relaxed in his hold again, thinking about how everything is good, and then the next, your panic is at it's peak again. Your fingers shake as they hover beside his torso, your eyes glued to the place where the knife he is holding disappears in his flesh. "Joshua!"
He laughs weakly, his brows furrowing. Still, even through all the pain, he doesn't let go of you, only mere inches away from you and his eyes on yours. "It's okay," he assures you, his thumb moving in soothing circles on your cheek. "I'll beâ okay."
You shake your head, your eyes flickering from the red staining his suit and his eyes. "You'reâ" you quickly force your right hand to his, urging him to wrap his fingers around it. "Here. Use it. Heal yourself."
A loud groan escapes his lips as he pulls the knife out again, averting his eyes from you for the first time to look at the wound. Nothing is happening. Nothing is fucking happening. "Shit," he grumbles, watching the stain grow with each second he isn't doing anything to stop the bleeding.
"I told you not to!" You yell, fighting the urge to push him away and complain about how stupid he's being. But you can't, not right now at least.
His fingers finally wrap around your wrist, a sign he's given in. The red that pooled at his stomach just a second ago slowly disappears, his clothes looking as brand new as they did when he came to meet you in the practice room. He changes your dress pants and blouse back for your dress, and it's only then that you realize it probably got stained as well. With how close the two of you are, it would only be natural.
"You're such an idiot!" You huff, your free palm pushing against his shoulder. He doesn't step back, though. Instead, he simply catches your hand in his, pining both of them behind your back. It somehow brings you even closer, your head tilted back as you gaze up at him. "I hate you."
"I'm okay," he tells you, completely ignoring your previous statement. "Everything is okay. There won't even be a scar after today. My powers are still in your body, but I'm okay."
You swallow a lump in your throat, slowly nodding. "You're okay," you repeat.
"Let's get you home." His grip on your hands loosens as he takes a step back, not waiting for you to yell at him again or ask what it even was that he wanted to accomplish with that. He leaves you standing against the fence, wondering what on Earth is happening with you and him.
Your eyes drop to the knife at your feet, still covered in blood. You don't have the heart to pick it up and clean it, taking a mental note to make Joshua come back for it later. You force your feet to start moving again, walking back to the house and then out to get to Joshua's car.
Both of you are silent as you take a seat and he drives off. You don't even bother turning the radio on, simply leaning your head on the window and looking out. It's night again, but for some reason, the sky isn't as calming as it once was.
"I lost my best friend," you offer into the quiet. You can't look at him to see if he's listening, though. You keep your eyes on the road, holding your head in your hand. "She got involved in my mess and ended up getting hurt."
"What happened?" Joshua asks, glancing at you as he drives.
"At first it was my flight tickets that got leaked. We had a lot of weird 'fans' on board when we took a trip to Japan together. Some of them followed us around and even got a room in the same hotel we were staying at." The memory flashes in your mind, the nights she spent wondering if you shouldn't find a different place to stay at, and all the times you told her it would be okay.
"It crossed all the lines on our last night there. A guy broke into our hotel room, wanting to get a picture of me sleeping or whatever." You feel as small as you did that night when you were crying to the police officers about what exactly happened. You swore to yourself then that you would never let anything like that happen again, only to end up in an awfully similar situation with Joshua now. "She was never a heavy sleeper, so the moment he stumbled in the hall, she woke up. She interrupted him, ruined his little plan."
"And he wasn't happy with that," Joshua finishes for you.
You nod. "There was this key bowl on the drawer in the hall. He used it to knock her out. By the time I got out of bed to see what on Earth was happening, she was on the floor, unconscious."
"It's not your fault."
"It is," you argue. "Had it not been for me, nothing would have happened. She spent the next week in the hospital and her boyfriend refused to let me see her. I spoke to her parents after. They assured me she would be okay and that they are sure she'd contact me as soon as she's out butâŠ"
This time, Joshua doesn't interrupt, doesn't take a guess on what could have happened. "When she got out of the hospital, he ran her over with his car. I never got to talk to her after all."
Shit. It takes everything in him not to take you in his arms at the moment. It's the human part of him, the one that's been growing every moment he spends with you. It's loud in his ears, yelling at him to help you. To hold you and promise you everything will be okay. Tell you that now that he's here, you have nothing to worry about. But that wouldn't be fair of him, would it? After all, it's him who made you feel anxious in the first place. Him who you had to watch stab himself, worried you were going to lose another person.
His grip on the steering wheel tightens as he takes the next right, wanting to be out of this car as soon as he possibly can. "He was arrested only two blocks away, and when asked what lead him to it, he claimed that he couldn't stand her walking around freely like that when she stopped him from being with the love of his life." The words rot on your lips the same way they did when you first found out. No matter how many times you say it, how many times you think about what happened, it doesn't get any better.
"What was her name?" Joshua asks instead of apologizing like everyone else you've told this story before did. It's the reason you finally take your eyes off the road and decide to face him again.
"Jia. She was my biggest supporter, and the only real love I got to know."
"Tell me about her."
And so you do. You tell him about how the two of you met in high school. You tell him about all the classes you used to take together and how she always dreamed big. You tell him about the precious memories you shared with her, and the times she stood by you when you most needed her. And when you walk to your apartment, you tell him about just how much you used to hate yourself for everything she had to go through because of you, and how much it hurts to know you don't hate yourself as much now that time passed.
"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for something you aren't responsible for," he says, leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom. "It was not you who attacked her that night and it was not you who ran her over. It was that man's fault. What was his name?"
"I don't know," you shake your head, your back turned to him as you take your pajama from your closet, slowly getting ready for bed.
"We both know you do."
"Park Jiwoo. He was arrested in the past for stalking already, so they assured me he wouldn't get to walk away just like that for the second time."
Joshua hums, repeating the name in his head. "Don't do anything stupid," you warn him, reading his mind perfectly.
"I could offer him a deal. Take his soul to hell."
"Do you know what he'd want in exchange? What he desires?" Joshua shrugs and so you continue. "Hunting people. Wrecking them. I've seen more guys like him than I'd like to. He's the same as Minjae. He'd want for you to set him free so he could pick a new prey."
"I could arrange for him to die as soon as he steps out of his cell."
You shake your head at him. "Thank you for the offer, but I'd rather you don't."
"Whatever the boss wants," he complies.
"Don't call me your boss." You finally set your pajamas on the bed, turning to face him again. He's incredible beautiful as he leans against the doorframe, his hands tugged in his pockets and his suit jacket unbuttoned. His hair is a mess from the wind outside, but he doesn't seem to mind. You don't mind either.
"You are kind of my boss since I'm working for you, don't you think?" You shake your head no and he raises a teasing eyebrow. "No?"
You slowly cross the space between you, stopping only when you're right in front of him. Pretending to fix his tie, you allow yourself to gaze into his eyes for a moment. Then, as if it were the most natural thing you've ever done, you let your palm wander up, feeling his chest and then shoulder under your fingers. He doesn't say anything to stop you, only watches you in amusement. "You're not working for me now." A small smile spreads on your lips as you take his earpiece off his ear, letting it rest on his shoulder instead. You take a step back, proud of yourself. "You're not on the clock now. You're not my bodyguard but just Joshua, the demon."
"Joshua, the demon," he repeats, the words sounding like your favorite song when he says them.
"Yes," you nod, stepping back again innocently. "Isn't that who you are?"
"I'm many people," he shrugs, his eyes following your every movement as you walk around the room. "Joshua Hong the CEO of Hong F&B, Joshua Hong the movie director, Joshua Hong the bodyguard."
You chuckle, "that one might be my favorite."
"You're not going to ask me about the director position?"
"You probably did that fifty years ago or something, didn't you?"
"Sixty two actually, thank you so much for asking," he answers, the biggest grin you've seen so far decorating his face. And while you didn't think it was even possible, it makes him so much more beautiful.
You take your pajama in your hands again, ready to head for the bathroom. "Good night, Joshua."
He nods, his smile still attached as he wishes you good night as well. "I'll be here at ten tomorrow to drive you to work. Be ready on time."
"Yes, sir," you giggle, nudging him out of your apartment on your way to the bathroom. "I'll call you if anything," you promise when he still hovers at the door. It's only then that he moves his feet again, heading down the hall to get to his own place.
A part of you wonders if he was serious when he said he would rent out an apartment in the building to be closer to you. As your bodyguard, it would only be welcomed for him to do so. As Joshua, the demon, it would only raise the spark of hope growing in the back of your head every time you find yourself hanging out with him.
"I can't possibly lead the entire company for you," Mingyu argues, finding Joshua's request ridiculous. "It's your company! What will your employees think when all of a sudden I'm the one in meetings, making decisions for everyone."
"You've already been to thousands of meetings in my place," Joshua comments, flipping through his demon manualâas much as he doesn't like the name, he must admit it has a catchâfor the hundredth time. He dropped you off at your company so you could practice two hours ago, and he spent the entire time with Mingyu in the office, trying to figure out a way to get his powers back. Again.
And once again, he has nothing.
"It's not the same! You need to make an appearance from time to time too at least. You can't just take off and become a bodyguard on a whim."
"Do I need to remind you how important it is to keep her safe?" He finally looks up from the book, meeting his friend's eyes.
Mingyu doesn't miss a beat before his question, "Because of your mark or because you're falling for her?"
Joshua doesn't respond again, lowering his eyes instead and flipping through the pages as if he didn't read them all already, hoping that by some miracle, something new that would solve his problem would show up. But no. All that stares back at him is the warning of spontaneous combustion if he doesn't make enough deals in time. Every time he reads those words, he finds another reason why he should find a solution as soon as possible. He needs his powers. And he needs them now.
Mingyu sighs. jumping up on the table, his hands braced on each of his side as he watches his boss and long term friend. His eyes are filled with worry as he speaks once more, "What are you going to do if you can't get them back?"
That is a scenario Joshua doesn't want to think about. There isn't a world in which he doesn't have them. He can't walk the streets as a mere human being. He just can't. It's been so long since he last did, he doesn't even remember it. To him, the only life he's ever known is the one he lived as a demon.
Your name rings in his ears, and it takes him a moment to realize it's not his own inner voice but Chaewon, speaking to him through the earpiece he forgot to take off when he came into his office. "She needs an escort in ten minutes." Joshua would love to answer, tell her he is busy and can't, but he bites the words back before they can leave his lips. This is exactly what he agreed to. He needs to be by your side at all times, no matter how suffocating it feels to be beside you, knowing his powers are now yours.
"I gotta go," Joshua states simply, getting up from his seat.
Mingyu's eyes follow him, a knowing look on his face. "To meet your lover?"
"Not my lover," he rolls his eyes, but the truth is, the thought has him smiling deep down. He's quick to shake it off, though. He refuses to show Mingyu that he might not be far from the truth.
You're already waiting in the lobby when Joshua arrives. He steps out of the car, leaning on the hood as he watches you through the glass door, his arms crossed. You notice him immediately, ending your conversation with who he assumes to be another idol and waving bye to Chaewon, who's been waiting with you. She says something to you briefly but you're too busy making your way out to meet him to pay her enough attention.
"I've been told you need a ride," Joshua says instead of a greeting and you have to roll your eyes at how cheesy he sounds.
"If it wasn't for the fact you have signed a contract to be my lord and savior I wouldn't have asked."
He ignores the comment and waits for you to get in the passenger seat, climbing back in right after. "Where are we even going? I thought you said you'd stay practicing until late."
"My mom called and freaked out that I need to meet her immediately. Sorry in advance for whatever is waiting for us there."
"So you don't just need a driver," he hums. "I am here as your bodyguard after all."
"You're here as my guardian demon," you correct, clicking through his navigation and setting it to your parents' house. "So you can do your magic if she is about to kill me. Or if she sets me up on another date."
"So she is the reason you were interrupting my alone time that day!"
You turn your head away from him, suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't⊠You should have told me you weren't waiting for your date, though!"
Joshua scoffs at your sudden outburst, only glancing at you briefly before locking his eyes with the road again. "I feel like I said it plenty."
"No, you didn't!" You argue, turning your head to look at him so quickly you almost get a whiplash. As much as you'd love to sound mad, there is a smile on your face and your tone is laced with laughter. "You were all like "I want to enjoy a good time with my company but you don't interest me."" You mimic his voiceânot even trying to sound close to how he speaksâ before giving him a deadpan look.
"Exactly! I just wanted to eat my cake and enjoy my day. But someone," he turns to look at you, his brows arched in a teasing manner "Just had to crash my fun."
You cross your arms over your chest, "I hope you're talking about that group of men that interrupted us and not your beautiful boss."
"I thought you said you are not my boss last night?" A smile spreads on his lips as he focuses back on the road. He realizes exactly what Mingyu would have said if he'd seen him, but he doesn't want to think about it. Not right now at least. Because truth is, the memory of last nightâ leaning on your bedroom door and talkingâputs a smile on his face.
"Oh? You want to be just Joshua, the demon, again?" You tilt your head.
It takes everything in him not to look at you again. A part of him is sure that if he did, the car would really crash.
"Isn't that what I always am when we are alone?" He turns the question right back to you. "Joshua, the demon."
"Not always," you shake your head, your smile falling just slightly. "Sometimes, you're just Joshua to me."
Joshua doesn't answer you but you can see the flash in his eyes. It's so brief, so small, you almost think you made it up. But you're sure. Whatever it is that is going on in his head at the moment, your words seem to have an impact on him.
After a moment of silence, you decide to change the topic, clearing your throat awkwardly. "The men that interrupted us that night, who were they?"
"A gang," Joshua explains simply.
You blink at him confusedly, "A gang?"
"I'm not completely sure," he admits. "But I think they were mad about a deal. A contract came to an end earlier that day, which is why I was at the restaurant in the first place. I was celebrating."
"You were celebrating the end of a deal?"
"A soul caught by me is a soul added to my life."
You frown, scanning him for a second. "What do you mean?"
He hesitates, clearly debating how close he wants to let you to get. It's something only Mingyu is aware ofânot even because Joshua would tell him himself but because he snooped around his office once and read through the demon manual. Which then led to him naming it the demon manualâand he never thought he'd be telling anyone else. "If a deal isn't made after a while, a demon will lead to spontaneous combustion," he repeats what he learned in his little manual.
"Spontaneous combustion?" You repeat after him, more surprised than confused on what he means. And if you're honestâscared.
Joshua nods. "I don't know what the time frame is, which is why I've been trying to make as many deals as possible. All I know is that I don't want to burn down."
"We should get you a new deal after this," you blurt out quickly. Joshua glances at you, his brow arched. "I mean," you hesitate. "I wouldn't want you to burn down while I still have this mark on my wrist."
"Right," he nods, taking the next left just like his navigation tells him to. "Makes sense."
You nod along, trying to not think about how weird it would be to just wake up one morning, knowing Joshua wasn't going to be a part of your day. It's a weird feeling knowing you've only known him for a few days yet you feel so strongly about not having him around. You don't want to imagine a world in which he is gone.
The realization hits you like a tsunami. Becoming one with the leather seat, you look ahead at the familiar road leading to your childhood home. What a great time to be a mess who just learned she doesn't want to not have Joshua in her life.
Joshua is the first one to get out of the car when he parks in front of your parents' house. You watch him walk around to your side but don't make a move to unfasten your seatbelt or open the door. You're too in your head for that. He is the one to get your door, and it's only when he prompts you to get out that you finally move again. By the look in his eyes as you step out, you know he can tell something is going on. Thankfully, he doesn't ask, simply waiting for you to walk ahead of him.
He registers another car parked beside his, but with the way you don't pay it any attention, he decides to ignore it as well. It's probably your parents', he tells himself. Who else would be in the house when they are already expecting you?
The house looks bigger from the inside. All the rooms are open spaced, with little to no furniture. It looks like no one even lives here. Are you sure you got the right address? Joshua wants to ask, but with the way you walk around as if it were completely normal, he doesn't. He simply follows you like a lost puppy, trying not to let his confusion show.
He feels out of place. He's used to large living spaces, but this just feels wrong. There are no pictures anywhere or a sign of a living being. The first time he sees proof of life is when you lead him through three different rooms into what he assumes is the dining room.
An elderly man sits at the head of the table, a woman on his side. Two more men are at the table with them, talking among themself. None of them seem to pay you any attention until you decide to speak up. "I see we have the whole family present. And you must beâŠ" you start despite having no idea who the man talking with your brother is.
He is quick to get up when his eyes land on you, walking around to table to reach you. "Choi Seungcheol," he introduces himself, extending his hand for you to shake. Your eyes widen just so slightly, your own name slipping past your lips.
"And this young gentleman?" Your mother asks, eyeing Joshua up and down. Her words might seem welcoming, but by the look in her eyes, you can tell she isn't happy you brought someone with you.
"My bodyguard," you smile up at him, a gesture which he returns. "Joshua Hong. you probably heard of Hong F&B?" Her eyes widen instantly and it forces a smile on your face. It's been long since you last felt like a winner with her.
"I've heard a bunch about you," Seungcheol offers him his hand as well, one Joshua simply eyes. The lack of manners you noticed on your first date with him is showing again, but you're starting to realize it's not that he doesn't know how to behave, he just doesn't care enough about Seungcheol to show it. "You're on the clock, I get it," he smiles instead of being offended.
You shake your head at their interactionâif you can even call it thatâand lock eyes with the person who called you over. "I thought you had something to discuss with me?"
"We started drafting your prenup."
"You what?" You blink at her, the shock you feel written all over your face. "I'm not getting married to anyone right now as far as I know!"
"You should sit down," Chan speaks up finally, the smile he offers you so forced you almost curse out loud. Whatever is going on right now, it's nothing good.
Hesitant, you slowly take a seat at the table, on the far end, opposite your father. Joshua comes to stand by your side, not sitting down even when you tell him to. "I am not getting married," you repeat, completely serious. Seungcheol clears his throat, sitting beside your brother again, but you don't pay him any attention. Your eyes are on your parents.
"We talked about this many times. It's time. We need someone who can take over our company, and Seungcheol here is the perfect man for the job."
"Absolutely not," you shake your head. "No offense," you glance at the man briefly, "But I'm not getting married for the sake of some company I couldn't care less about. I agreed to your stupid blind dates, never did anything that wouldn't be to your imagination, and this is what I get in return? If you listened to me for even a second, you would know I don't want to be with someone I barely know, marry him on top of that!"
"It's been decided," your mother states as if she didn't hear anything you just said. Typical. "You are to marry Seungcheol next month. He's been so kind to us all for even wanting to marry you, and you're just throwing another one of your tantrums as always."
You scoff. Tantrums? Is that what she thinks this is? A child's cry because she didn't get a new toy? "I'm not having a tantrum," you argue.
"Please," she laughs at you.
It's times like these that you wish your brother was different. Deep down, you know he isn't on their side. You spoke to him about this many times before, but it still hurts to see you are the only one fighting them while he just sits quietly at the table, his head down.
"If I couldâ" Seungcheol starts but you're quick to interrupt him.
"Please don't."
Still he doesn't listen to you and continues. "âI'm not asking for anything of you here. We'd be married on paper. I don't care whether you spend your days at the company, at home, or singing. You're an idol I heard?"
He doesn't even know anything about you! He doesn't know what you like and don't. He doesn't know you had to move houses because someone broke into your apartment. He doesn't know anything about how you grew up or what your idea of the future is. He barely even knows what you do for work!
There is not an universe in which you marry him.
"I'm sure you're amazing, Seungcheol, but I am not willing to negotiate about my future here. I have to be the one who decides who I marry. Not my parents, and certainly not you."
"Watch the way you speak to your husband," your father is the one speaking this time. It angers you even more.
"He is not my husband!"
"Will be in a month," your mother shrugs, reminding you just how terrible the people you grew up around are.
"We are leaving," you state. "Delete my number. You won't reach it anyway after today." You don't wait for their response, pushing your chair back so hard it screaks against the floor.
You don't look back as you walk out of the room, ignoring your mother's calls after you. You cannot deal with her any longer. You're getting to the car, blocking her number, and never coming back to this house again.
Joshua raises his hand, ready to shut everyone up. Sew their mouths together or take away their ability to speak. Either would work. But he quickly realizes he can't. "The stupid mark," he mutters, dropping his hand back down. "I'd love to say it was nice meeting you, but I don't feel like lying today," he offers everyone a fake smile, turning on his heel.
"Look after her!" Chan calls after him. The last thing before escaping the family is your mother yelling at him to stay in his place, causing him to roll his eyes. What a great family you have.
You're already waiting at the car when he makes it out of the house. He doesn't say anything at first, simply unlocking the door for you so you can climb in. It's clear as day that all the stress falls off your shoulders as you melt into the seat, hidden from the rest of your family.
"I don't want to marry him," you tell him as Joshua climbs into his own seat. He turns to look at you, his eyes flickering from one feature of your face to another. From your left eye to your lips, back up, to your nose, then to the right eye. He takes all of you in, wishing he could take all your troubles and give them to someone else. To someone who actually deserves them.
"Marry me instead."
You laugh at him but it's quiet. "It's a little early for jokes but still, thank you."
"I mean it," he says confidently. "Marry me instead before they can wed you to him."
"Youâ You're being serious?" You blink at him, trying to make sense of what he's saying. Joshua Hong, the demon, is actually asking you to marry him right now? Did he lose his mind?
"Marry me," he repeats himself, his eyes locked on yours.
"Butâ I thoughtâ I thought you'd want to go back to your old life once we get you your powers back."
"We can break the marriage off then," he offers a solution, even though for some reason, deep down, he hates the thought of that. He doesn't want to leave you and go back to his old life. He is learning to love the little thing the two of you have going on right now. Even if it means he doesn't have his powers. It should scare him. He should be freaking out and doing everything he can to get his powers and run. But he can't find it in himself to do so.
You scan his face, looking for any sign of him joking around. No matter how hard you try, you don't find anything. "Okay."
The words are out of your mouth before you can rethink them. You don't want to take them back, though. To your surprise, you wouldn't mind marrying if it's with Joshua. You know he's only doing it to have his powers as close as possible and your arrangement will be over as soon as he gets them back, but it's okay with you.
"I'll marry you," you nod, and the smile that appears on his lips when you agree is something you won't forget for a while.
Chaewon's mouth hung so low you wondered how it didn't end up on the floor. It was an expected reaction. If she looked anyhow differently once you told her you are getting married, you would have thought she was an imposter.
At first, it was just confusion. You don't blame her. Honestly, you are confused with yourself as well.
Then her confusion turned into panic, worried how this is going to go with the company and what your mother will do. The chances of both of them ripping your head off the body are higher than you first thought they were.
She asked you a bunch of questions, making sure this is your decision and it is what you want. You just laughed as you repeated to her for what felt like the hundredth time that yes, you do want to marry Joshua. Eventually, she simply sighed, promising you to talk it over with the company and figure it out for you.
"There is nothing that would say you can't get married while working under us, but we still need to figure out how we'll go about this," she explained to you. You nodded, fully aware of the situation you were in. Then, her eyes locked with yours, and a genuine proud smile appeared on her lips. "I'm happy for you."
Which is how you ended up at your apartment again, with Joshua leaning against a wall in your living room, commanding everyone around.
"Are you sure having this many stuff doesn't just make you a hoarder?" You arch a brow, your eyes flickering between him and all the boxes moving in.
"I've been telling him for ages," Joshua's best friendâeven though you're sure he'd hate you thinking of him that wayâMingyu chimes in, carrying one of the heavier boxes.
"You've been working for me for two years," Joshua reminds him.
"Like I said, ages."
You laugh at them, glancing at Chaewon beside you as she watches the moving crew in disbelieve. "You know, it's not too late to back out of this."
You shake your head, "No matter how much of a hoarder he is, I still want to marry him."
Your eyes lock with Joshua's as you speak, your cheeks heating up.
"I admire you," Mingyu says and you force your eyes off him. Still, Joshua isn't able to take his off you. "I could not live with him for a day."
"Well then, thank God I'm not marrying you."
"Don't take lord's name in vain!" He calls after him before disappearing in one of the rooms you didn't have a purpose for until now. Looks like from now on, they'll be Joshua's little storage.
"You don't tell me," Joshua shakes his head, pushing himself off the wall and crossing the room to get to you.
"Is that everything you have?" You wonder, swallowing as you look up at him. He stops in front of you and judging by the way Chaewon clears her throat and steps away, she must be uncomfortable with how close the two of you are. Had you been in her position you would have done the same. Watching a couple like this would only make you feel terrible about being single.
But as the girl involved, instead of stepping away, you want to inch even closer to him. But you're quickly reminded you aren't alone as you hear some of the movers chat on the side.
"The rest is staying in my office," he nods, brushing a messy strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers are gentle against your skin. It's hard to remember the two of you aren't actually in love. If anything, this is a strictly a business arrangement.
"I thought it was my office now," Mingyu says, and the annoyance in Joshua's eyes as your moment is interrupted makes you laugh again.
"As far as I know, you were crying to me about how you don't want it," Joshua glances over his shoulder, pining his friend with his gaze. Mingyu raises his hands in surrender, telling the rest of the movers to get out. Seems like he can get a hint when it's thrown his way.
"We should go too," Chaewon says when it's only the three of you again. You offer Joshua an apologetic smile when his eyes find you again, question written all over them.
"I need to get to the studio and record today," you explain. "I should be done by dinner time. We should have something nice together." You're not saying it only because Chaewon is standing in the room but because you genuinely hope to eat with him tonight. You hope he knows that.
"Alright," he nods, a small smile decorating his lips. It doesn't quite reach his eyes but it still feels sincere. He turns around, heading for the door. "Do I need to hang around once I drop the two of you off or can I take a meeting off Mingyu's back?"
The question is directed towards Chaewon but you're the one to answer. "You can go do your things," you nod. "We got it for a few hours. I'll only be at the company, after all. Right, Chae?"
She hesitates for a split second before nodding as well. "Go ahead. I'll contact you if anything happens."
As soon as you and Joshua arrive back home later that night, you hop into the shower. You offered to make dinner while he showers when he was driving you here, but he quickly turned your offer down, reminding you his powers can make you a feast in the span of a second. You didn't have an argument against that.
The hot water feels like heaven against your skin. You needed this. You and Joshua have been apart most of the day, but you somehow ended up thinking about him every single second of it. He hasn't left your head since the moment you parted ways when he lead you to the recording studio. He wished you good luck and smiled at youâan image that managed to get engraved in the back of your mind.
There must be something wrong with you. You haven't felt like this in forever. The last time you genuinely liked a guy was when you were in high school. You didn't have time or urge to repeat the emotional rollercoaster since then. Until you met Joshua.
To say your entire world turned around when you met him is an understatement. As if figuring out demons and angels exist and that there is a heaven or hell waiting for you wasn't a blow strong enough already, he just had to make you fall in love again.
Love.
You dip your head under the water, trying to get yourself back together. To think what you and Joshua have is love is foolish. Have you always been this naive? There is no way in hell this could be anything. He is leaving you the moment he gets his powers back, isn't he?
The water doesn't help your thoughts at all. If anything, it makes them worse.
You remember the day he brought you a towel after you forgot to take one yourself (thank myself, you think). You think about his gaze and how he told you he doesn't do inappropriate thoughts. You haven't seen anything to prove you otherwise but for your own sake, you'd like to think you're not the only one thinking of him that way.
The image of him in this very bathroom is what has you acting to foolishly. You wish he was here against instead of settling in. You wish he'd stand under the running water with you. You wish his bare skin would press against yours and that he would have his eyes all over you again.
You wish you could feel his hands wander all across your skin like your own do at the moment.
You step back from under the water, your back hitting the wall behind you. This is wrong. You know it's wrong. Thinking about Joshua as your hands wander down your body is not something you should be proud of. But you can't help it.
One of your hands squeezes your breast, your thumb rubbing over your nipple. The other hand dips lower, exploring your stomach and thigh. Teasing, but never dropping to the heat between your legs. Your eyes are closed, imagining Joshua is the one roaming your body so much easier this way.
You bite your lower lip, holding back moans. Your skin feels like it's burning. You tease your clit softly, running a middle finger over it. Your body aches for more immediately, the need you feel increasing.
You throw your head back, a soft whine leaving your lips as you think about how badly you want to have him here with you. If he still had his powers and could put that sixth sense of his to use, you're sure it would lead him right to you. You have to be the most desperate person in the world right now.
Unable to hold back any longer, you let your fingers dip between your legs, slowly circling your clit. It feels good. You don't remember when the last time you touched yourself was but it feels like ages. And even when you did, it certainly didn't feel this good.
Your fingers slide lower, pushing past your folds. It's only your middle finger at first, but once you realize that isn't enough, you add another one. You stretch your pussy with your fingers, Joshua's face clear as day in your mind.
Your hand leaves your breast so you can steady yourself, pushing against the bathroom tiles. You spread your legs a little more, breathing through it as you finger yourself. Soft moans leave your lips, mixed with whines filled with need for more. But you can't get more. Your fingers are the only source of pleasure you'll get here.
"Shua," you cry, desperate. It's not like you think he'll hear you. You aren't even sure if you want him to hear you. All you know is that imagining it's him touching you isn't enough anymore. "More."
Despite feeling like you aren't getting enough, you're still completely in the moment, the outside world tuned out. All you can hear are the lewd sounds you make and the wet sound of your pussy as your fingers slide in and out.
You're so absorbed you don't hear the bathroom door opening, or the steps that follow after.
"You know, my powers might be gone but that doesn't mean my hearing abilities are as well."
You gasp as soon as the familiar voice reaches your ears, your eyes shooting open. Fuck. You glance his way but there is a shower curtain between you, hiding the view. Whether it's his view at your bare body or your view at his that's being blocked, you don't know.
Your fingers slip out much to your dislike, your lips shut as you try to pretend nothing happened. But it doesn't work how you wish it would. How could it? There is no coming back or pretending it didn't happen when he just heard you moaning his name. God. You want to run away as far as you possibly can. But the odds of being able to do so without running straight into him are to your disadvantage.
"Are you going to open the curtain or keep hiding in there for the rest of your life?" You can practically hear the smug grin on his face. You hate how attractive the image looks in your head.
"I think I'm good right here," you pipe and the sound of your own voice surprises you.
"You're seriously going to make me stand out here?"
"I'd prefer if you'd just leave entirely," you shake your head.
"It did not sound like it."
"Please leave and let me die in peace," you groan.
There is a soft chuckle on the other side of the curtain, followed by careful footsteps. You can tell he is right in front of you now. Your name slips past his lips, and it's the hottest it ever sounded. Have you just been completely ignorant to the way he speaks before or did something change? Because despite your embarrassment, you swear every word that leaves his mouth is incredibly attractive.
"Will it help if I tell you I'm having some inappropriate thoughts right now and it would be much better if you'd just let me see you?"
"You're having what?" You blink.
Joshua rolls his eyes, "You heard me, wife."
That's all it takes for you to open the curtain and grant him a sight at your bare skin. But his eyes stay on yours, not daring to dip down. "I did hear you," you nod. "So can you please come join me?" Desperation reeks from your tone and he doesn't waste any more time, dropping his shirt over his head. You watch it fall to the floor, immediately locking your eyes with his hands after as he unzips his pants.
He keeps his eyes on you at all times, and it's incredibly hard to focus on anything other than how handsome he looks. His hair is tussled a bit from him taking his shirt off, and his toned abs are staring right at you.
Your hand slides down your body on its own again, rubbing your clit softly as he undresses himself. "Shua," you pout, needing him here already. His hands need to be the ones touching you as soon as possible or you'll go insane soon.
Joshua finally let's his eyes wander down your body as he stands in front of you in just his underwear, the bulge hidden behind the garment obvious.
He thought he was hearing voices again when he heard your voice calling his name from the bathroom. He's been stuck with you on his mind all day, unable to stop thinking about the look in your eyes when you talk to him, the way your cheeks flush whenever he says something even merely flirty, and the way his name sounds on your lips. It felt like just another figment of his imagination.
Until a moan followed from the bathroom.
No matter how hard he tried to convince himself it was his own self conscience and just his body testing his limits, there was no denying it was your real voice he heard.
His feet took him into the bathroom before he could rethink what he was doing and he is so glad they did. Now that he's seen the beauty of your naked body, there's no more denying anything. Mingyu was right all along. He does have feelings. More than he thought was even possible.
He steps into the shower to join you, his smile growing when you frown. "Take it off."
He cocks his head to the side in a teasing manner, "Where did your please go?"
"Joshua."
"Take it off yourself if you don't like it."
You don't need to be told twice, tugging at the piece of garment. You lower yourself as you do, kneeling in front of him. There is a lewd groan that leaves Joshua's lips at the sight. It feels great to know you aren't the only one feeling like this. But truth is, the hard cock that comes into your sight as soon as you drop his boxers to his ankles is a sign enough.
"Come back up," his hand cups your cheek, tilting your head back so you can look at his eyes instead of his cock.
"I quite like it down here," you smile back at him and he shakes his head. You notice the smile he wears, though.
"I want to kiss you," he tells you. Your eyes widen for a split second before you're quickly scrambling back up to get to his lips. A small chuckle leaves his lips as he cradles your neck, pulling you into him. Your chest pushes into his and his cock is hard against your stomach, but it's only the kiss that you can focus on.
His lips are soft, moving with yours in a perfect rhythm. Your hands slide up his torso, feeling his body. You wonder if he doesn't actually go to his own company whenever he says he does and just spends time in the gym instead. It would explain the muscles he has. Hooking your arms around his shoulders, you push yourself up to your tiptoes.
The kiss deepens, your tongues sliding together as he steps forward, pushing you onto the wet wall. A loud moan mixes into the kiss and you're not sure if it's yours or his.
"Thank God I heard you," he mumbles, lowering his mouth to kiss down your neck.
"I thought you were better than us humans and don't have feelings like this?" You giggle softly, tilting your head to the side to give him a better access. The wet kisses he leaves on your skin feel too good for your own good.
"Turns out you make me more human than I thought possible," he whispers, the words tingling against your skin. "I've been having too many feelings lately."
You shiver, pulling him closer. There is no more space between the two of you, but you wouldn't have it any other way. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he chuckles. Raising his head to look at you, he lets his eyes simply gaze into yours. A smile creeps up your lips when he does, the warm feeling in your chest impossible to ignore. "Show me what you were doing before."
You suck your bottom lip between your teeth, keeping his eyes on him as he takes a step back to watch. Your hand dips to your legs, your thumb gently brushing over your clit, while your other hand cups your breast. "I wanted it to be you," you admit softly.
Joshua's eyes fall to your pussy, his cock twitching at the sight. "You imagined my fingers in you?"
You nod, watching him with a pout as you finger yourself againâmuch slower than before, hoping he'll step in. Fortunately for you, he'd rather die at the moment than to not have his hands on you.
His hand replaces the one cupping your breast first, pinching your nipple between his fingers and watching as your mouth falls open in a moan. He captures your lips in his right after, slowly guiding his other hand down, feeling your skin beneath his fingertips.
Anticipation builds with each touch, especially when he pulls your fingers out of your pussy without even looking at them. But he doesn't replace them with his like you wish he would. Instead, he pulls away from the kiss, causing a disagreeing whine from you, and brings your fingers up to his mouth. Before you can say anything, he wraps his lips around them, sucking them clean while watching you.
If you've been wet before, you are a fucking waterfall right now. The sight of him sucking your fingers is wild. It makes you feel like an animal, the urge to jump him right here and now getting stronger with each passing second.
"Shua," a gasp escapes your lips and a a grin spreads on his face all over again. "Please."
"Since you ask so nicely," he nods. Finally, finally, he brings his hand to your aching core. His fingers circle your clit in a similar motion yours did, but it feels so much better coming from him. Your hips inch forward, looking for more friction. You can't tell how long you've been in this bathroom for, but it's about time you reach your relief.
You bring his lips to yours again. You feel so hot. His cock twitching against your stomach, his tongue battling with yours, his fingers sinking inside youâis this what heaven feels like? You'd bet good money it's pretty damn close.
It doesn't take him long to bring you to your orgasm, your nails digging into his shoulders as spasm around his fingers and fill the bathrooms with moans of his name. He holds you through it all, kissing every inch of skin he can get to. "That's it, you're doing so good," he praises, letting you ride it out slowly.
You moan at his words, feeling like you could come all over again just because of the way he speaks to you. It must have been too long since you last had sex because the way you're behaving around this man is insane.
When he pulls his fingers out of you, it doesn't surprise you this time as he sucks them clean. You take the moment when he's busy, letting your hand wander down his body, brushing his cock lightly. "Behave," he shakes his head at you but doesn't do anything to stop you as you wrap your fingers around his length.
"Don't tell me what to do," you arch a brow, wanting to gain at least some respect back.
But it's too late, now that he's seen you so desperate for him, you don't think he'll ever wipe that smug smirk off his face. "It seemed like you'd do anything I say just a second ago, wifey." The nickname rolls of his lips with such ease. It's pathetic how it has you whimpering.
"Yeah, just like that," he nods at the sound you make, loving your vocals. It suddenly hits him that they are the same vocals thousands of people love as well and pay to hear live. How did he get so lucky to be here with you again? You squeeze his cock in your hand, making him snap out of his appreciation. "Keep your eyes on me," he orders, tilting your chin up.
Biting your lower lip, you listen to him as you slowly jerk him off. Watching every one of his reactions, you learn what feels good to him. Rubbing a thumb over his tip and collecting some of his precum, you hold back your own moans when he pinches your nipple with his thumb as well.
He can't seem to keep his hands off you despite it being your turn to make him feel good, only having you falling so much more for him. As if your feelings weren't already strong enough, the way he looks at you with so much love and holds onto you like you're his only anchor in the entire world has your head spinning.
Joshua's abs tense as his orgasm builds up, doing his best to focus on your pleasure instead of his own. The only thing that's been holding him back from coming as soon as he laid his hands on you is the reminder of why he is hereâto make you feel good.
"Stop it," your name leaves his lips and you blink up at him confusedly, dropping your hand immediately. You suddenly feel a lot more self conscious, worried you're messing everything up. He quickly takes care of your stress, pressing his lips to yours. "I need to be inside you before I come," he whispers an explanation into your lips, wrapping his arms around your thighs.
Gasping, you wrap your legs around his waist and hands around his shoulders as he lifts you up, your back pressed firmly to the shower wall and his cock hanging just a few inches from your pussy. "Shua, please," you cry, your eyes falling down to where he rubs his dick between your folds. He's so close. "I need you."
"Fuck," he curses, slipping himself inside without hesitation. Your mouth falls open at the stretch instantly, your eyes widening. "Relax for me, darling. I'm going to need to last at least a few seconds," he groans.
Your head falls to his shoulder, "You feel so good."
Joshua closes his eyes as your words reach his ears, doing his best not to come on the spot. the way your walls wrap around his bare length is the best feeling he's ever experienced, and he's beginning to wonder just how much he missed out on in his life by never getting involved with humans like this. Even though, the truth is, he wouldn't want to do this with anyone else.
If it's not you, then what's the point?
Joshua grunts as he slowly thrusts into you, his hands moving from your thighs to your ass. Your flesh fits perfectly in his hands. It feels like you were made for him. Your perfect boobs bouncing in his face, your perfect pussy clenching around his length, your perfect ass sitting in his hands, and your perfect mouth making those perfect sounds. Not only are you absolutely stunning, but in his head, you are also all his.
And that's more than he ever hoped for.
The idea of God making you just for him has his hips moving faster. Your soul being a part of his, your body made to mold with his into one, the stars aligning together at the day you were born just so he could be with you one dayâit all does things to him.
"You're so gorgeous," he groans, his eyes locked on yours through all this. "Taking me so goddamn well."
"You shouldn't⊠take God's name light," you gasp between thrusts, your eyes rolling back.
He chuckles, dropping his eyes to where your bodies connect. "Yeah, let's not bring him into this. This is just between you and me."
"God, yes," you gasp as he hits your sweet spot.
"What did I just say?"
You want to laugh, you really do. But the pleasure is too strong, the way his cock pushes in and out of you the only thing on your mind. Thankfully, Joshua doesn't seem to be doing much better, twitching inside you as he nears his release.
"More," you whine, rolling your hips forward. "Don't come yet."
"Fucking hell," he groans, the sound so loud and strained you can tell exactly how much he wants to do the exact opposite.
He captures your lips in his, getting a better grip on you with his right hand so he can use the left to cup your cheek and hold you. You lean into his touch instantly, allowing him to tilt your head however he wants for a better feeling. Your mouths move together in a perfect sync, hungry but tender at the same time.
Your orgasm reaches you faster than you can warn him, and by the pained whine leaving his lips you can tell it takes everything in him not to do the same. But you wanted more, and who is he to refuse that?
"I can't believe I'm going to marry you," you moan, running your fingers through his hair. He has his eyes on you, as if he wanted you to see the way his eyes flash when you say it. "Mr. and Mrs. Hong."
As much as he wanted to last longer and get you to a third orgasm, the picture you just painted in his head, the two of you sharing his last name and doing this every night in the bed as a married couple, causes him to cover your insides white in the split of a second.
You don't mind, though. It feels so good. He feels so good. "Shit, shitâ" your head falls to his shoulder, biting onto his skin as an attempt to steady yourself. Your legs shake at the pleasure, his warm release like a drug you're getting addicted to. There is no way you won't do this again. You need every corner of this apartment to be filled with the two of you, whether that means you'll be bend over it, lying flat, or doing your best to stand straight as he pounds into you.
You'll take all three and much more.
Joshua presses you down again, looping his arm around your waist to help you stand, ignoring the itch from where you bit him. "I couldn'tâ" he tries to excuse, but before he can finish his sentence, you give him another long kiss.
"I loved it," you say, holding back on telling him you love him. It's true. There is no other way you would explain what is between you and Joshua. Even if it were to be only how you view it, it wouldn't change the way you feel.
"Same," he exhales, cupping your face with both hands and pressing his lips to yours, this time with so much love you could cry on the spot.
You and Joshua shower againâtogether. But even when you tease him by rubbing soap all over your breast or lingering your hand on him for a little too long, he doesn't fuck you again. Not that you'd mind. You're sure you'll be sore in the morning after this anyway. It doesn't stop him from kissing you, though, loving the softness of your lips on his. He helps you clean thoroughly before stepping out of the shower, drying you off and then carrying you into the kitchen.
Much to your begs for him to let you off without a dinner because you just want to climb into bed and sleep, he makes use of his powers and quickly creates food for you. You sit on the kitchen counter, plate in hands and your eyes on him. You giggle a lot with him, and then, when he gets you into the bedroom, you suck him off lazily in the bed.
Sleep comes much easier to the both of you after that, your limbs tangled together and soft whispers of affection leaving your lips.
It's a phone call that stirs you awake. Before you can properly get up and see who is calling you, you catch a familiar pair of hands reaching for the device and decide to close your eyes again since Joshua's got it. He speaks to the person on the other side but you barely listen.
It's been two weeks since he moved here with you and you've gotten so comfortable with him in that time. You spent every day since then together, exploring each other's bodies and slowly falling for one another. You trust him with your entire self, which makes it a lot easier to sleep at night, knowing he's got you no matter what.
He whispers your name as he hangs up the phone, making you hum back in response. "Are you coming with me or do I go alone?"
That makes your eye peek open. "Go where?"
"The police station."
You are definitely not awake enough for this. You blink at him confusedly, questioning why on Earth you would go there. "It was officer Lee that just called you. They have Minjae and who seems to be his accomplice in custody."
"I'm coming with," you state immediately, sitting up faster than ever before upon hearing the name. You've been waiting to hear these news for what feels like ages now.
"Okay," Joshua nods, taking his time to take you in. He offers you a gentle smile. "Get ready and we can go. I'll call Chaewon to tell her we will be late today." His thumb brushes your cheek before he leans down to press his lips to your forehead, "Good morning, darling."
A smile spreads on your lips as well, the little kiss calming you more than anyone else ever could. "Good morning, baby."
Whispers of good mornings and good nights might be on top of the things you love the most about being with Joshua. He is incredibly sweet, and every time his lips touch your skin you have the urge to tell him just how much you love him. He only ever gets sweet when he is around you and occasionally with Chaewon if he's in the right mood, and you can't help but cherish the person he is when he is with you.
He watches you get ready after preparing breakfast for you, not saying a word. Your eyes flicker up to him from time to time, your lips forming a smile bigger than the last one each time. He looks at you with so much love. Who would have guessed the same man you struggled to stay even half an hour with before will be the same one you can't get enough of now?
It feels like you're sitting in your own car when you sit in Joshua's Hongqi. When you were little, both you and your brother had chairs that were 'yours,' seats at the table that you had to occupy every dinner because they were your designated ones. It always only made you want to sit anywhere else to spite your parents. But sitting in the passenger seat of Joshua's car is completely different. You wouldn't trade this for anything else.
"Are you okay?" Joshua's eyes flicker to you briefly.
"Yeah," you nod, letting your eyes drop to your thigh where his hand rests. You mean what you say, especially when you are with him. "I just can't wait for this to be over. I think I'll feel a lot safer when I know he is locked up and unable to get to us."
Us. It escapes your lips before you can think about it. But it's the truth. Deep down, you were always worried more about what would happen to him than to you. The sooner you'll see Minjae get locked up and wrap yourself in Joshua's comfort again, the better.
Your feet move faster than you expected through the police station. Joshua follows right behind you, and even though you noticed the flicker of disappointment in his eyes when you refused to hold his hand after stepping out of the car, you stand by your decision. You can't focus on anything other that the police officers waiting for you. So despite how much you'd love to hold his hand and have his fingers wrapped around yours, you need to take this time to sort out your thoughts and not worry about your hands sweating too much.
Officer Xu is the first one you meet, greeting you right outside the integration room. "We are sorry to call you so suddenly," he offers you an apologetic smile but you simply shake your head. "We wanted the two of you to be the first to know." His eyes drag from you to Joshua beside you, "I guess we were lucky the two of you happened to be together when officer Lee called."
Officer Xu opens the door for the two of you to walk in, but before you can make a move for it, Joshua's voice ringing in your ear stops you. "She's my wife," he informs the officer and you almost choke on nothing but air.
"Are you okay?" Mr. Xu's eyes are wide as he looks down at you, but it's not his voice your mind comprehends. It only registers Joshua's hand on your shoulder, worry written all over him.
You clear your throat. "We are getting married soon," you correct his statement, to which officer Xu nods confusedly.
He walks into the room first, sensing something is off. Thank god he does. Joshua wraps his hand around your arm and stops you from walking into the room. "What was that?" He blinks, trying to get a good look on your expression.
All it tells him though is that you are tired. "I'm not sure. I'm sorry," you shake your head. A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you look down at your feet. Joshua laces his fingers with yours, giving your hand a tight squeeze that makes you raise your eyes again. "I just want this to be over and for us to be back at the apartment."
He leans forward and presses his lips to your forehead. "I know," he nods. "Let's get this done and go home."
Home. You love the sound of that. You melt into his touch, your thoughts suddenly a lot calmer than they were when you first stepped into the building. Joshua seems to have that influence on you. He calms you and brings out the best of you, just like you do with him.
There is a chair prepared for you when you finally walk inside. Both officers look your way, smiles lining their faces when you see holding hands. Chaewon telling you she is filled with joy to know you are happy again is one thing, but seeing other people wear the same smiles she does whenever she sees you and Joshua together is a completely different one. It makes your chest warm.
"Miss," officer Lee reaches his hand out to you in a greeting. You gladly shake it before your eyes drift to the one way mirror behind him, falling on the same guy you saw in your house that night. He seems to catch the change in your eyes because he steps aside to give you a better view. "We need you to confirm the suspect is the same man that attacked you at your house last month."
You know he has no way of telling you or Joshua are on the other side as he can't see through, but when you see the sinister smirk on his face, only having a simple mirror between you doesn't feel like enough. There are two more men beside him, both with their hands tugged in their pockets and heads down. Despite making themself appear little, their builds don't help them much. The one in the middle is tall, messy black strands getting in front of his eyes. The one on the right is the shortest of them all, but he has the biggest build regardless. His arms are easily the size of your thighs, and it makes you swallow. You've never seen the other two men before, but they manage to scare you more than Minjae does.
Joshua notices you tense in place, squeezing your hand. "It is him. The one on the left. He is the one who broke into the house and then stabbed me."
It takes you a second to snap back into reality. When you do, you nod immediately, agreeing with what Joshua said. "It is him."
"Okay," officer Xu nods, motioning for you to sit down on the chair, "Please."
You take a seat, taking a deep breath as Joshua stands behind you with his palms resting on your shoulders. Both officers stand opposite you, blocking your view at the three guys. "Who are the other two?" You blink up at them in question, needing to know in order to feel better.
The two men share a look, clearly debating what to tell you. "Suspects," they settle on eventually. You don't like the answer at all.
"In what case?" It's Joshua asking this time, but he voices exactly what you're thinking.
"This case."
Your breath hitches. "ThereâŠThere was a guy that followed me in a car," you remember, glancing back at Joshua to see if he is thinking the same. "Is thatâ Is that one of them?"
Officer Lee clears his throat, his eyes flickering between you and Joshua. "Possibly. I'm sorry but we can't tell you anything else right now. All we can share is that we are glad we caught them before they could hurt anyone else."
"Give me your hand, darling." Joshua's words might sound like a gentle attempt at comforting you to the officers, but you catch onto the venom that laces them. You narrow your eyes at him before hesitantly offering him your left one, only for him to reply with an annoyed glare that confirms your suspicion. Whatever it is that he has in mind, it is nothing good. Definitely not anything the officers would love.
"Wait for when we are home, baby," you smile, trying to be as playful as possible.
"We won't hold you for much longer," officer Xu assures you. "We just need to go over some paperwork with you and then you'll both be free to go again."
You nod, standing up again, appearing as loving instead of distressed as you can. "Did you hear that?" You stand on your tip toes, brushing your lips with Joshua's softly. It's barely a peck, but it certainly is enough to convince the officers there is nothing weird about your interaction. "We can get back to bed soon."
Had it not been for the mood he is in, Joshua might groan at your suggestion. But his head is filled with the image of the three men behind the glass mirror. He's starting to understand why you've been so off on the way here. Now that he's got a good look at them, the only thing on his mind is the urge to wipe those smirks off their faces.
He likes the version of him you bring out. The one where he is so in love his chest physically hurts and he thinks he could die a happy man any day because it would mean he got to spend his last minutes with you. But right now, he is the complete opposite of that. There is only blood behind his eyes, the image of what he could do to all of them so clear, he almost forcefully grabs your hand and just breaks their necks in front of everyone.
But before he can do so, you lace your left hand with his, tugging him out of the room with you. "Shua," you hiss at him. "Stop even thinking about it."
He doesn't listen. "It would be easy for me," he reminds you, his eyes full of determination as he looks down at you. "I could get rid of them in the blink of an eye. You wouldn't even know it was me. Or I could torture them. I could make them suffer for what they put you throughâ"
"Shua," you interrupt him, this time with more force. "No. You're not going to do anything about this. You are going to sign the papers where it says you are certain that guy stabbed you and almost killed you and call it a day. You'll let the professionals handle this so they can all sit in the cold cell waiting for them."
He wants to argue more. You can tell he does. But you don't let him. You pull him down to kiss him again, this time longer and harsher than before. "I love you, but you can't be doing this."
"You love me?" He asks, wide-eyed.
Crap. You didn't think properly about what you were saying, only focused on calming him down again. You shouldn't have said that. It's too early and you're only going to freak him out. Maybe it'll only anger him more, and what are you supposed to do then? If he decides to just throw hands, you have no way of stopping him before he ends up behind a cell himself.
He says your name, cupping your face in both hands. "Do you love me?" He repeats his question and you nod. "God," he chants, pulling you in for another kiss. The door opens again and you're sure it's the officers walking out as well to lead you to their office like they said they would, but you can't give them the time of the day. Not now. "I love you," he groans back, your eyes widening when you feel his hard cock press against you through the layers of clothing you're both covered in.
It's when the officers clear their throats that you manage to push yourself off him, reminding yourself you aren't in the comfort of your house where you could do anything you'd possibly want. "Not to interruptâ"
"Let's get this over with," Joshua claims, hurrying them forward. "We got somewhere important to be."
His behavior makes you chuckle, the sight of him all giddy and excited again a pleasure to your eyes. A part of you wishes you would have used a more special place to confess your love to him, but this will do as well. Knowing you got him so messed up he just got hard in the middle of the station is a happy memory enough.
Either way, you are sure anywhere with him would have been great.
"We are at the police station," you remind him.
"The parking lot," Joshua corrects, pressing his lips to yours again.
"There are people outside," you argue, but don't make a move to get off his lap.
Once all the papers were signed, you didn't waste any more time and made your way back into Joshua's car. You wanted to get back home as soon as possible, but he was even more impatient than you, pulling you over the consol into his seat. With your knees now on either side of his legs, caging him in, you sit on his lap, kissing him like he deserves.
He ignores your comment, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you." His breath feels tingly against your skin, the smile you wear impossible to hide. You love him so much. You've never felt like this before, and it's making you realize how much you've been missing out on. Both of you were.
You also couldn't be happier that you are both experiencing this for the first time with each other, though.
"Let's get home," you whisper back, grinding your hips forward. "I want to love you in the comfort of our home."
His groan echoes in your ears, only making you so much more needy. It takes everything in you to hold your word and not fuck him right here in his car in the middle of the day. You're not sure how you'd explain that to officer Xu and Lee once someone would complain about you.
"Let's go home," he nods, clearly thinking the same.
He watches you climb back into your seat and fasten yourself in, offering him the pretties grin he's ever seen. He drives off the parking lot, resting his right hand on your thigh as soon as he connects with the road. You lace your fingers with his on top, looking ahead.
Ever since he started driving you around, whether for work or a run to the store you begged him for, he's been enjoying his car more and more. He never really saw the appeal before, used to just using his powers to get around. But without his powers and with you by his side, this has been great as well. He would continue to drive you anywhere you could possibly think of if you'd just let him.
The way you slide his hand up on your thigh is anything but innocent, but now that he is getting further and further from the police station, the questions he knows he needs to ask you are getting louder and louder. He squeezes your thighs, stopping you from pressing his hand against your aching pussy. "How are you feeling?"
"Pretty in love," you smile, not catching on the worries in his eyes.
"About what happened, I mean," he explains, letting his eyes drop to you for a split second.
"Oh," you breathe out. You shift in your seat and clear your throat. "I'm⊠okay." You watch as he raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "I am, really," you assure him with a tight squeeze to his hand. "It⊠It was scary, to look at them," you admit, thinking over your next words. "I felt this strong ache in my heart when I looked at them. Without even knowing who the other two guys were, I could tell they weren't good. It was scary butâŠ. it feels good to know they are in the police's care now."
Joshua's thumb provides soft soothing movements on your thigh, helping you feel much better as you speak. "Having you by my side helped a lot, but knowing there are finally going to rest in a cell brings so much needed peace to my soul."
Joshua's lips form a smile. "You are the strongest person I know."
You are quick to shake your head. "There are so many amazing people out there who went through worse than me. All I did was hire a bodyguard who knew what he was doing," you giggle softly as you look at him again.
Smile decorates his lips as well as he looks at you, his eyes carrying the same love yours do. How did you get so lucky again?
"I'm glad I have you," you tell him, slowly averting your eyes to look back at the road. Your eyes go wide, seeing the crash before it even happens. "Shua!" you try to warn him quickly, but he doesn't turn the wheel fast enough. It's too late.
Everything goes by so fast. Joshua's car drives into another one before anyone can do anything. Your ears are buzzing, everything around you spinning until it all stops, and you can't see anything but black.
Joshua's head feels like it's been split apart.
Has this happened before? He feels like it has.
A loud groan leaves his lips, but it's not one he'd like. Forcing his eyes open, he can barely make out his surroundings. Everything is a blur of colors, nothing making sense. Someone is calling out to him. At least he thinks it's meant for him. But he can't make out the words or the intentions behind them.
It takes him two more seconds before the voice gets clearer. "Sir! Sir, can you hear me?!" the voice sounds frantic. It's not one he would recognize, which only confuses him further.
"Yeaâ" he chokes on his own saliva as he tries to speak, forcing his mouth closed immediately. He hasn't felt this much pain since the day he was stabbed. His brows furrow together as he takes his time catching his breath.
The car door beside him opensâmore like falls apartâand he glances the stranger's way. There is a concerned older man on his side, trying to help him out of the car. Joshua shakes his head, pulling his hand away from him. His eyes flicker around, trying to make sense of what's happening.
The car, his eyes widen. He crashed the car. Before he can think about anything else, his eyes snap to your side, needing to know you are okay.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. There is so much red in front of his eyes. His hands struggle to move as he tries to reach you. He needs to get you out. He needs to hold you in his arms and assure himself everything will be okay.
But it's far from okay right now. Your eyes are closed and your head is down. You're lucky the seatbelt pulled you back. The front glass is shattered into pieces that scratched your skin all over, but it doesn't look like any of the shards got too deep into your skin.
"Sir! You need to get out!" The man on his side calls again, trying to unfasten Joshua's seatbelt.
"My wife," he chokes on his own words, the pain he feels when he looks at your motionless body much worse than the one caused by the crash. "You need to help my wife!"
He curses quietly as he reaches over to you, grasping your right hand in his. If he can do something, it's this. He pulls your hand closer, rolling up your sleeve to look at the mark carrying all his powers. "No, no, no, no," he shakes his head in denial, watching the mark fade away with his own eyes. What the fuck is happening?
There used to be a time where he would love to see his mark leave your body and go back to him, but right now, the fact only scares him. It doesn't make any sense. Why now all of a sudden?
His eyes flicker to his own wrist, the black mark slowly appearing on his skin again.
The thought of all the times him and Mingyu tried to figure out the reason why his powers were flickering like this flashes in his mind. None of the memories seem important right now, though. At least until he hears Mingyu's voice. "Try recreating what happened that night." The two of you did that. You went back to the house and he stabbed himself in the same place Minjae did. He stood in the same place and it didn't work.
But of course it didn't work. Him getting hurt all over again couldn't do anything. His powers weren't in his body anymore, so it didn't matter that he was the one with a knife in his flesh. You're the one who had possession of his powers.
He calls out your name, trying his best to wake you upâto get himself out of this nightmare. You don't answer. He holds your hand tightly in both of his, whispers of prayers leaving his lips as he tries to use his powers to save you.
Joshua getting hurt was never going to do anything to help. You were the one who needed to lose her breath in order for his powers to go back.
He would rather never have his powers back than do this. He should have kept his eyes on the road instead of you. There were so many times you've told him to drive carefully in the time you've known him, and he still managed to fuck that up.
"The door doesn't open!" It's a different voice this time and Joshua realizes the guy on his side isn't the only one around.
Scared is not a feeling he does. He can't remember the last time he felt like this. But right now, as he is forced to watch your dying body, fear is the only thing he knows. Nothing is working. His powers are flickering in his hand instead of helping, and the people around aren't able to help either. Is this really the end? Is this how the universe finally takes revenge on him for everything he's done?
In a moment of weakness, when he thinks giving up is the only option he has left, his head throbs in pain. His eyes squeeze shut, his ears buzzing. The outside voices vanish completely. Not only is he going to lose you, but he is also going to lose himself.
But then again, it's better this way. If he can't keep living with you, he'd rather not live at all.
The afterlife looks different than he thought. There are children running around him, playing a game. One of them bumps into him. Joshua is ready to ask if he's okay, but as soon as the child locks eyes with him, he runs away before he can even open his mouth. He blinks confusedly, looking around.
As soon as his eyes land on you, he feels his heart skip a beat. You're standing with your back to him and your clothes are completely different, but he has no doubt it's you he is looking at. No matter what you wear, how much you try to hide, or how much you run away from him, he will always recognize you and find his way back to you.
You're here. You are with him. His feet move faster than he can comprehend, chasing after you. He calls out to you, but you don't answer. You seem mad at him. Is it because he wasn't paying attention to the road? He speeds up to get to you faster, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling you towards him.
A soft gasp leaves your lips as your body crashes with his. "Your highness," you push yourself off him as quickly as you can, your eyes wide as you look up at him. "You can't be doing this here, you know it," you shake your head at him. What? "People will look." He drops his hand from yours hesitantly, letting it fall to his side.
Your name slips past his lips, a pathetic sound he wouldn't take back no matter what. "What happened? Why are youâ"
"Your Highness," you sigh. "We both know our love isn't strong enough against society."
It hits him then, as you walk away from him and his feet stay glued in place, a strong pain in his chest making itself known, that this isn't the afterlife. If it were, he would be happy in your arms. His skin would be pressed against yours and you would be smiling at him with that pretty smile of yours. This is the opposite of what it's supposed to look like.
Another strong wave of pain rushes into his head, and he crashes down to the ground. With his head buried in his knees, he bites back a scream. He needs this pain to stop.
A hand wraps around his arm, dragging him away. He doesn't stop it, the pain in his head too strong for him to focus on anything else. Your name leaves his lips in a soft cry but it doesn't do anything to bring you back to him. You left. You decided that he wasn't worth it all after all.
God, may this torture come to an end.
When his eyes open again, he isn't where he was before. He isn't even in the car. He is lying on a hospital bed, his own body too heavy for him to move. There is no one else in the room with him, and it only reminds him of everything that happened. The last time he woke up in here, you were waiting for him. Last time, he got to wake up to your face.
But right now, you are nowhere to be seen. He is all alone again. In the two hundred years he's roomed this world, offering deals to helpless souls, he never felt as alone as he does now. Without you around, it's like someone took away a part of his soul, a piece of his heart.
The door opens and his eyes snap to it, but it's not you he sees. All his hope vanishes instantly. He closes his eyes as Mingyu slowly walks in without saying a word. The sound of a chair scratching against the floor makes it known that Mingyu is sitting down beside him, but he doesn't have enough strength to look at him. If he were to look, he isn't sure he wouldn't break down.
"It's good to see you awake," Mingyu breaks the silence softly. Joshua only hums in response. "I've been worried about you. That manager, what was her name?" He thinks out loud, looking for an answer in his head.
"Chaewon," Joshua supplies.
"Chaewon," Mingyu nods. "She's been worried about you as well."
He doesn't answer. She is the last of his worries right now. His throat feels tight, his chest pulling in and squeezing his heart in the process. It's the first time he is experiencing anxiety, and he absolutely hates it. "What happened withâŠ" The words catch in his mouth, the rest of the sentence dying along with the last bit of strength he had.
"She's getting there," Mingyu assures him, figuring out the rest of his question.
Somehow, the simply three words manage to save his entire world. "Where is she?"
"Her room is down the hall. She was in a more serious condition than you but she pulled through. She isn't awake yet, but doctors think she should be okay soon."
"Take me to her."
Mingyu opens his mouth to argue, clearly not pleased with the command. But before he can say anything, Joshua sighs and reaches for his hand, snapping his fingers effortlessly. He has a destination to go to, but before he teleports himself right to you where he belongs, he heals himself completely to get rid of the lingering pain.
It doesn't take away the anxiety he feels when he sees you on the hospital bed, asleep. This is all his fault.
"Whoa," Mingyu breathes out when he finds himself standing in your room, his eyes flickering from you to Joshua. "You have your powers back?"
Joshua grits his teeth, "Yeah, it only almost took her life." The hate he feels for himself is so strong it fills every word that leaves his mouth. If he could take back time, he would. If he only could change what happened and make sure you never got hurt like this in the first place, it would all be okay.
"It's not your fault," Mingyu rests his palm on Joshua's shoulder but it does nothing to calm him. "The doctors said that the coma is good for her. Her body gets the rest it needs without any stress from the outside world. It helps her heal better."
He hums, unable to take his eyes off your face. "I tried saving her as soon as I realized what happened. My powersâŠ" he closes his eyes at the memory, his voice weak as he speaks. "They weren't working. I thinkâ What if she died for a moment there and that's why? What if I killed her?"
Mingyu blinks, clearly taken aback. What does one say to that? How is he supposed to assure his friend it's not his fault when he can see how much it eats him alive? When he fully believes the burden is all on him? How would he convince someone like that that you aren't going to blame him for what happened?
"There was nothing you could have done that would prevent it. But the doctors did everything they could and she's okay. She's alive," he reminds him. "She's still breathing and I'm sure she is waiting to see you again."
Joshua only hesitates for a brief second before taking a few steps forward, crossing the room to get to you. Pulling forward a chair to rest beside your bed, he takes a seat and reaches for your hand. His eyes drop to his wrist, assuring himself his mark is still there. If his powers don't work again, he isn't sure what he'll do.
The room is quiet with Joshua focused on his powers and Mingyu not wanting to disturb. It's so quiet, Joshua immediately knows you're waking up just by the soft sound of the mattress. It worked. His powers worked. A heavy sigh full of relief escapes him, seeing you waking up again instantly warming his heart.
"The doctors are going to be awed when they find out she's all healed again," Mingyu chuckles a little, watching it all from the entrance.
"Don't tell them," Joshua's head snaps to him. "I'm going to take us home. I don't want them keeping us any longer."
"What's going on?" Your sleepy voice sounds like a song in Joshua's ears. It feels like along with you, a part of him was healed as well.
"I'll leave you two to it then," Mingyu smiles, saying his goodbyes before leaving the room.
Joshua is quick to apologize to you when it's just the two of you, only confusing you further. When the reason he is blaming himself so much finally slips past his lips, realization settles in and you pull him closer. He's big but he still fits into the hospital bed with you when you squeeze so close half of your body is on him. Resting your head on his chest, you drape your arm around him. "Please stop apologizing. We are both okay. We are both safe and alive."
"We are," he nods, drawing small circles on your back with his arm. You're not sure if it's to help you or himself, but you let him. Pressing his lips to the top of your head, he lingers just a second too long, inhaling your scent. "I got my powers back," he whispers.
You almost hit your head against his chin with how fast you look up at him, surprised. Searching for the cross mark on your wrist, you don't find anything. "Oh my god!" Your smile grows. "You have them back!"
He chuckles at your excitement, nodding. "I have them back. But most importantly," his eyes soften as he looks at you, "I have you back."
There isn't an universe in which you would guess that Mingyu and Chaewon would be making out at your wedding.
You had to recheck twice and ask Joshuaâwho was currently in the middle of arguing with the DJ about his song requestâif he was seeing it as well. You watched as confusion took over his expression, clearly as lost as you were. It only took five seconds before you both started laughing.
"Cheers to that," you chuckle, shaking your head.
Joshua smiles as he looks down at you, taking in the sight of you all over again. You, in a beautiful white dress. You, with your eyes staring up at him. You, filled with all the love in the world. You. His wife. Now, finally, on paper. He doesn't think he'll ever get enough on the way you look tonight, all dressed up for him. "Cheers to us."
A smile spreads on your face, but before you can say anything, Joshua sends one more glance towards the DJ and pulls you towards the center. "What are we doing?" You giggle, wrapping your arms around his shoulders without hesitation.
"Dancing," he shrugs, unable to look away from you. His hands rest on your waist as the upbeat song your brother has been absolutely rocking to until now switches to a slow oneâyour own song. Had it been a different situation, you might cringe at the sound of your own voice echoing through a place like this, but you are too focused on your husband to care right now.
"Hi."
"Hi," you repeat after him, stepping closer and resting your cheek to his chest.
"You look incredible tonight," he whispers into your hair, moving in a slow rhythm with you. "You always do. But today especially."
"Thank you," your smile only grows.
You were never looking forward to getting married. Not when it was your mother who was deciding everything on your behalf. Marriage seemed like a trap, like a way to force you to settle down instead of chasing after your dreams. But with Joshua by your side, it feels like the exact opposite. You would marry him thousand more times if he wanted to.
"You look handsome yourself if I may say," you add, your voice quiet so only you two can hear. Your guests make a circle around you, but you don't pay them any attention. It's just you and Joshua in your little bubble.
As if he could read your thoughts, a little flower bubble actually appears around the two of you, creating a barrier between you and the rest of the wedding party. You pull away just to look at it, your eyes wide. Judging by the gasps full of awe, everyone else finds it just as incredible as you do.
"One might think you are an angel with all the beautiful you do around me," you comment and he instantly rolls his eyes.
"Angels are the opposite of beautiful. For your information, I've seen some of them and they are more ugly and scary."
You laugh at the disgust on his face. "You've just been designed to seduce everyone!" You shove his shoulder weekly.
He laughs with you, a sound so beautiful you can't believe you'll be able to hear it for the rest of your life. "This has always been my face, darling. Nothing to do with my demonic side. And I'm sure you know a lot about that one," a smug smirk decorates his lips as he whispers the words to you, adding more blush to your makeup.
"I don't believe you," you shake your head, hiding your face in his chest again.
A chuckle leaves his lips. "That's okay. Deep down, you know I've been born this blessed."
He's impossible. Annoying, but so addicting. You hate how much his words work on you.
"So were you, thought," he adds, and you find yourself looking up at him again. He sees your questioning eyes and decides to share a bit of himself he wasn't sure how to tell you yet. "I've been having these dreams ever since my powers came back." You listen closely, surprised you haven't heard anything about this until now. It's been months since that happened.
Even thought the decision for you two to get married was made because he wanted to save you from being forced into a marriage with another man, you both agreed to take your time and not rush. You sat down with your mother again and told her you will be marrying Joshua and not anyone she picked out for you, and that she was free to leave the company to him if that was what she wanted to do. Just to make sure nothing would happen behind your back, you made sure to call Seungcheol as well and ask him to meet you for a coffee.
Over the warm drink, you realized he wasn't exactly up to the idea either. Turns out, he has it as hard at home as you do, and even though he didn't want to force you into anything, marriage with you would have been his escape. You apologized to him and explained how Joshua was not only your escape but also the love of your life, and he seemed to understand.
It all allowed you to take your time with planning and create a wedding this perfect.
"It took me a while to realize, but they are actually memories. I'm not even sure if they are mine, though."
"Whose would they be if not yours?"
"Yours."
Your confusion only grows. You tilt your head to the side, letting him spin you around as a part of your little dance. "What do you mean?" You ask as soon as you're in his arms again. This conversation reminds you of the first time he was trying to convince you he was a demon. He doesn't make sense to you, but unlike last time, you don't try to search for a different meaning in his words or argue with him that what he's saying isn't true. You simply listen.
"I think we knew each other in another life. In the previous one. Before I became a demon." Your eyes widen. "You're in all of them. You're mad at me sometimes, you refuse to talk to me and send me away every time I crawl back to you. But there are also times when we are in love. When it's just the two of us alone and I get to hold you in my arms and whisper love notes in your ears," he leans down to you to add to it, his breath tingly against your ear.
"Then, in the most recent ones," his jaw ticks a little and you know whatever he is about to say next isn't something you'll like. "I've been seeing what happened to you when I was gone. It's like I'm watching through someone else' eyes. I know they aren't my own, but I can't whose they are."
"What's happening in those memories?"
"Pain," he settles for a single word that somehow manages to carry it all. With his brows furrowed together and his smile turned down, you can tell the memories aren't nice. "So much pain that lead me to become what I am now when I arrived back at our old kingdom and realized you were gone."
"You became a demon after I died?" You take a step back so you can look at him properly, the little flower bubble around you bursting and creating a beautiful effect. You wish you could see it and fall in love like the rest of your guests, but you cannot look away from him right now. "Youâ"
If this isn't what soulmates are, you don't think there is such a thing then. To find out you and Joshua have been connected this entire time, long before you even met him, is a confusing but also a warming feeling.
"I had so much anger in me. I⊠saw your body after⊠it happened, and all I could see was red. The place went out in flames after that and I think that's when," he makes a point to look down at himself, trying to lighten the mood again, "this became reality."
Your conversation must look super confusion to everyone around, especially as the slow song comes to an end and you're just left standing in the middle of the circle, staring at each other. You'd love to say you don't believe that happened, that for sure you couldn't have been the reason he turned into a demon. That seeing your dead body couldn't have done this and that he didn't set the entire place on fire, but deep down you know to believe what he tells you.
"I think I just fell in love with you even more," you breathe out.
The laugh that leaves his lips is a mix of surprise and awe. You don't blame him because you wear the same feelings in your eyes. "Welcome to my life," he closes the space between you again, his hand finding its way around your waist so naturally it almost looks like it's where it's been all his life. "I fall for you more and more each time I wake up."
Joshua's lips press against yours in a warm, tender, kiss. Your hands instantly wrap back around his shoulders, pulling him as close as you physically can. It's all so easy with him. He makes you believe in so many things you never though you would beforeâand not only about angels and demonsâand always reminds you what life is all about.
Despite enjoying what you had before you met him, you don't ever want to go back to that time. You don't ever want to experience a life without him by your side again.
Two years living in a cozy hut in the middle of the forest, caring for your herbs and plants, felt peaceful to you. Here, your past would not catch up with you; no one would force you to be something you aren't. However, this peace lasts only until the exiled and severely wounded Prince of Noxtus appears right outside your hut and you are drawn into a game filled with intrigue, vengeance and (to your horror) love.
Pairing: alpha! choi seungcheol x omega! reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut
WC: 14258
Warnings: anxiety, mentions of herbs supressing the needs of readers omega, wounds, reference to abusive parental figure, reference to alcohol, reference to abusive past relationship, headache, fatigue, fever, reader in pre-heat, Seungcheol being a worried mess, a/b/o dynamics, omegaverse, Seungcheol deals with guilt because of Noxtus smut warnings: scenting, multiple orgasms, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), knotting, oral (fem. receiving), nicknames ( pretty girl, sweetheart, baby), reader is horny horny, seungcheol is whipped, dom!seungcheol, sub!reader, let me know if I missed something!
Notes: Here it is, folks!! Ahh I'm so so excited to present you part two of Daisy and Seungcheol! Thank you all so much for all the likes, reviews and comments for part one! I was so glad to see how many of y'all enjoyed it and I cant wait to hear all of your thoughts for this part. As usually we have our fluffly moments, some sprinkle of angst in this one and smut! Daisy has her heat in this one and let me tell you I had a blast to write the smut scene. I also noticed quickly that I need to extent the length of this series to another part because stuff keeps happening in here that I didn't plotted but I love it hehe. But the more the better and I hope you all are equally exited how their journey continues as I am! As you know english is not my first language and this is not read by an beta, so forgive me for possible mistakes. Now I hope you enjoy part two and I be happy to read some reviews and feedbacks!
A/N: This story is intended for + 18 only; Minors do not interact!
Series M. List | Part 3
The walk back to the hut was filled with quietness.
Fortunately, you had purchased your Cyperus herbs without any further trouble at a small shop filled with other potions and elixirs from an elderly lady with severely impaired vision and hearing and they now laid safely stowed away in your basket.
Seungcheol hadn't taken long to write his letter either, and while you waited for him under the tree with your heart beating far too fast, you wondered exactly which village Seungcheol came from.
Sure, you didn't receive any news in your little cabin, and you were glad about that. You didn't need to know everything that was going wrong in the world, nor the tyrannies the royal houses were committing. But if he might not have come from far from here, was there also a chance that this small village would be attacked? Could it possibly even reach your cabin?
You had no time to panic, for Seungcheol was already approaching you with rapid strides; and perhapsâwhether it was the adrenaline coursing through your veins at being among other people again for the first time in ages, or simply the urge to finally return to the safety of your cabinâyou failed to notice the storm raging inside Seungcheolâs mind. Or that his heart almost stopped as he walked towards you, regretting more and more with every step what he had done.
But you didn't have the slightest clue and that was exactly how it was best for you to keep it. If you didn't know anything, you couldn't drive yourself crazy and could simply continue living peacefully.
So you didn't ask, and it seemed as though Seungcheol preferred it that way, too.
The days passed, and you felt as though you could finally breathe again. Your Omega was quiet even when Seungcheol was nearby and it didn't stir in the slightest. Perhaps this should have worried you, but honestly, you were simply glad that the new herbs seemed to be even more potent than your old ones, and that you could finally think clearly again.
Seungcheol was also steadily improving. By now, you no longer prepared compresses for him. The only thing you continued to provide were the daily teas, which were still meant to aid his recovery; otherwise, you simply left his wound alone to heal on its own.
The steady healing of his woundâand his consequently improved physical conditionâmade Seungcheol visibly restless. Helping you in the garden wasn't enough for him; he also constantly tidied up after you, and when even that ceased to suffice, he began working out outdoors whenever he had a spare moment. Which was, essentially, almost all day long.
By now, you would describe it as a matter of routine. The two of you have breakfast; you check his wound, and he invariably comments on it with a sarcastic remarkâ("Do I have the right to get out of my chair today, Doc?")âwhich you always counter with an even more sarcastic retortâ("Only if you weed at least half of my garden today.") Yet, in the end, Seungcheol usually did exactly what you had jokingly demanded of himâwithout a word of protest.
Whether it was weeding, carrying soil, repairing old tools, or simply keeping you company and talking about anything and everythingâby now, Seungcheol had become an integral part of your routine.
It should scare youâdamn it, at first it did scare youâbut by now, it no longer did. His presence in the cabin already felt far too normal to even question what it would be like when he was completely healthy and left again. These thoughts would creep into your mind in the middle of the night, and every time, you would lock them away in the deepest recesses of your brainâneither able nor willing to dwell on them for even a single second.
There was a kind of comfort in being close to Seungcheol. You no longer felt as though you were fighting the world alone and hiding away; now, there was someone by your side; someone who meant you no harm and accepted you just as you were.
An Alpha who, while knowing that you were an Omega, never even brought up the fact. Who accepted it and did not exploit it for his own advantage.
But he doesn't know your destiny yet. If he did, he would have claimed you as his own long agoâyour treacherous mind whispered to you at night but you didn't believe it. Seungcheol was nothing like the man who had been the reason for your escape.
Seungcheol was different, and your entire being was firmly convinced of it.
Otherwise, you would never feel so safe in his company, even now, while you tended to your herbs and he worked out a few meters away from you.
Because of the heat, he had taken off his shirt some time ago, and sweat was slowly running down his body.
Every now and then, your gaze drifted toward him only to quickly turn away again as you frantically refocused on your plants. You could only hope that he didn't notice your stolen glances, but apparently, you weren't that lucky.
"Instead of staring at me the whole time, you could join in," he called out to you in an amused voice, and your gaze snapped toward him indignantly. "I'm just making sure you don't overdo it!"
"Oh, come on, Daisy. You said yourself that the wound probably won't open up again. Nothing's going to happen." With these words, he finished his last push-up and then let himself fall back into the grass with a satisfied grin, his eyes fixed on the blue sky above him.
You stare at him wordlessly before shifting your gaze back to the front. "Nevertheless, you shouldn't overdo it yet."
"Or just say you're worried about me," he grinned, shifting his eyes from the sky to the back of your head.
A snort escaped your lips. "Oh, please. I just don't want you to get hurt, only for me to have to make compresses for you again for four weeks."
"But you would, wouldn't you?"
His question made you pause, and slowly you turned your head back in his direction.
"What?" you asked in a soft voice.
"If I were to get hurt again," he looked you in the eyes with a serious, deep gaze, "you would help me one more time, wouldn't you?"
For a few seconds, you offered no reply; only the chirping of birds filled the air with soundâalong with your heart, which was surely beating far too loudly, and you could only hope that he didn't have even the faintest clue.
But you nodded without thinking. "Of course."
A peaceful smile slowly formed on Seungcheol's face before he hummed, nodded, and looked back up at the sky. "I knew it."
"What?" you asked in confusion, and the Alpha laying before you merely shook his head, amused.
"What did you know?" the question escaped your lips impatiently; and when Seungcheol remained silentâstill wearing nothing but an amused grin on his faceâyou reached without a second thought for the nearest object; which, this time, happened to be a full watering can.
Seungcheolâs eyes snapped wide open; faster than you could even blink, he was already standing several meters away at a safe distance while you, watering can still in hand, scrambled to pick yourself up off the ground.
"Don't." Seungcheolâs warning voice rumbled across to you, yet you saw the challenge written clearly and unmistakably in his eyes.
"Then tell me what you meant with that!" you called out to him, taking a courageous step toward him.
His grin evolved into something cheeky before he called out to you: "I knew that, deep down, you're just a huge softie hiding behind that tough exterior!"
Outraged, you gaped at him and narrowed your eyes. "Excuse me? I could kill you in your sleep with my herbs and plants! Who are you calling a softie?"
By now, he was no longer grinning, but merely smiling over at youâand if you could, you would imprint that image in your memory forever.
"You, Daisy."
You nodded thoughtfully, then looked down at the watering can. "I warned you."
"Bring it," he said challengingly, raising an eyebrow as that stupid, arrogant smirk reappeared on his face. The very next moment, you lunged at him, aiming to get him as soaked as possibleâthough, of course, you knew he would fight back with everything he had.
And so, it wasn't just him who ended up thoroughly drenchedâyou did, too.
It probably should have bothered you that he saw you like that. After all, you had intended to project the exact opposite image. You didn't want him to think that, deep down, you were gentle and accommodating. A gentle soul wouldn't survive the solitude of the forest. Out here, you had to be tough; unfathomable and unapproachable. But apparently, with Seungcheol by your side, that simply wasn't possible.
And a part of you didn't even want to be that way around him.
ââ§Â°đČÖŒđą
Sometimes you wondered what kind of job Seungcheol had back home. He was truly never too proud for any kind of work, and when he told you today that he would take care of dinner, and that you should simply sit in the chair and relax, you wondered if the man standing before you could actually cook.
But the way he moved around the kitchenâprecisely chopping the vegetables while keeping a constant eye on the potâtold you everything you needed to know.
"Is there actually anything you can't do?" you asked, resting your head on your hand as you watched him work in your kitchen.
Seungcheol hummed as he peeled the carrots in front of him.
"A lot," he replied without looking up, before suddenly holding out a peeled carrot; you took it from his hand with a word of thanks and carefully took a bite.
"A lot?" you echoed skeptically, "You say that as if I haven't seen you split firewood, fix my fence, carry half the forest on your shoulders and somehow make soup that smells that good?"
Seungcheol scoffed adding the vegetables into the boiling soup.
"You make me sound impressive."
"You are impressive," you mumbled around another bite, not even thinking before the words slipped out.
HIs hands froze just for a second over the cutting board. Only when you realized what you had just said did your eyes widen slightly, and you quickly looked away.
"I mean, not impressive impressive. JustâŠ" you cleared your throat awkwardly. "Useful."
"Useful?" Seungcheol repeated, amusement clear in his voice while turning his head to look back at you.
"Very useful."
His soft laugh ringed in your ears and with a nodding head he fixated his gaze on the work before him again. "I'll take it."
Silence settled between you again, peaceful and warm. The only sounds filling the cabin were the crackling of the fire and the soft bubbling from the pot.
"So?" you suddenly asked.
"So?"
"What can't you do?"
Seungcheol stirred the pot with a wodden spoon before answering. "I'm bad with herbs."
A scoff escaped your lips. "Obviously."
"Hey." His eyes were on you in an instant again and you shrugged innocently with your shoudlers, pointing with the carrot in your hand at him.
"You almost poisened yourself a few days ago."
"But it smelled nice!"
"Just because some herbs smell nice doesn't mean they couldnt kill you" a soft smile appeared on your face.
Seungcheol turned around again and just mumbled as an answer, "still smelled nice.", and your heart felt.. full.
This was normal. And you hadn't had that in such a long time. So you cherished the time with Seungcheol, which felt like a giftâreparations for everything that had been done to you.
Perhaps it was the cozy atmosphere and the cabinâs overall aura, but when Seungcheol suddenly started asking questions, after you had both finished eating and were sitting at the table with your tea, you didnât immediately feel like you were drowning.
It was likely because you trusted Seungcheol by now. Trust was dangerous, but God, it had been so long since youâd been able to trust anyone. And the words inside you were practically clamoring to finally reach ears that would understand you.
"How much longer do you want to stay here, Daisy?"
A somewhat vulnerable look must have been reflected in my eyes, for Seungcheol straightened up slightly in his seat and rested both forearms on the table.
"I mean, you don't have to stay here just because you can't think of any other option."
"And what other option do I have, Seungcheol?" you asked, your voice raspy and your heart pounding far too fast.
He said nothing for a few seconds, as if weighing every option in his mind, before murmuring softly, "You could come with me. To myâŠ" he hesitated for a brief moment, "To my village."
You met his gaze without a word. Rightâthis was something you had constantly suppressed over the last few nights: the thought that Seungcheol would leave. That he wouldn't stay with you because he had a life outside your cabin. The thought was selfish, yet deep down, you wished he wouldn't eventually leaveâthat he would choose you. Which was, of course, complete nonsense, but it hurt nonetheless.
"There is no place in the world Iâd rather be than right here, Seungcheol," you said, instead of voicing the whirlwind of thoughts in your head.
"But why?" his voice pressed. "The whole world is open to you, and you decide to hide here fromâŠ" He couldn't go on because he didn't have a damn clue why I was hiding in the first place.
You pressed your lips together and lifted your gaze to the ceiling, struggling desperately not to burst into tears right then and there in front of this man. You had already cried enough over your situation back then, swearing to yourself that you wouldn't be so weak anymore and would finally make the best of things.
Butt here you were now. Seungcheol, poor Seungcheol, dragged into the mess of your life and wanting to help you.
"Daisy" he murmured softly and stood up from his chair, making his way to you and squatted down in front of your chair so that your eyes were level. "Look at me."
Your eyes met his cautiously, and the mere warmth and trust reflected in his gaze drew two small tears from your eyes that now slowly trickled down your cheeks.
"Thereâs nowhere for me to go, Seungcheol," you whispered softly, and he immediately shook his head as his hands reached for yours, his thumbs gently stroking the backs of your hands.
"That can't be true."
But you nodded and drew a shaky breath. "He would find me. Anywhere. And I can't let that happen."
Seungcheol froze. His eyes studied you intently, picking up every nuance of your expression even more clearly now.
"Who?"
You shook your head and looked at him, silently pleading with him not to press the issue.
But this time, Seungcheol didn't listen to you.
"Daisy, who is looking for you?"
Your hands were trembling slightly, and your thoughts were racing. You couldn't tell him the whole truth. But half-truthsâthat was something you could work with.
"An alpha," you murmured, looking down at your intertwined hands in your lap.
"Back then, my father handed me over to him and his family and received a lot of gold in returnâenough to support himself and his new wife and buy a new house." Your eyes turned back to Seungcheol, who met your gaze with angry eyes. There was no longer any trace of tears in yours. "I stayed with them for a few months, but I ran away before the wedding."
Seungcheol didnt say anything. He simply stared at you.
And the longer he remained silent, the more you noticed the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers slowly curled into fists.
"They sold you," he finally said quietly.
You nodded as exhaustion spread through your limbs.
"And your father agreed with it."
His ankles were now white, so tightly had Seungcheol clenched his hands into fists. "How old were you?"
You didn't have to think long. "Eighteen."
Seungcheol's eyes closed briefly for a second. He let out a slow breath and looked away for a moment, letting your hands go and standing up again while he ran his hand through his dark hair.
"Did he hurt you?"
Your answer came quickly. "No. At least not physically."
Something in Seungcheol's eyes darkened and he cursed under his breath.
The next few seconds were filled with silence, and your vacant eyes were fixed on your tea, which had since gone cold. Seungcheol knew far too much about you by nowâbut no matter how painful it was to speak out what happened to you, it also felt good to finally be able to tell someone.
"You know," he said softly after a minute and your eyes snapped up to him, "I've met men who start wars over gold."
Confused, you narrowed your eyes slightly, but you couldn't ask what he meant because he was already speaking againâhis dark eyes fixed solely on yours.
"I've met men who betray their own blood for power." he swallowed, "But selling your daughterâŠ" He shook his head in disbelief.
"I dont understand it."
Pain filled your heart as you met his gaze. "He wasn't always like this."
Memories played out before your eyes, and a sad smile touched your lips as you spoke in a quiet voice. "He used to carry me on his shoulders when I was little."
Your hands fidgeted restlessly with each other, your eyes fixed on the floor. "He'd bring my mother flowers every spring." You pressed your lips together. "And then she died."
For a moment, neither of you said anything, and you were certain that if you looked at Seungcheolâs face now, you would see nothing but pityâand you would break down right there in front of him.
"And after that?" Seungcheol asked gently.
A bitter smile appeared on your lips. "He stopped being my father."
It was the truth. After your mother was no longer in this world, your father was nothing but a shadow of his former self. He lost his job, spent more time in a bar than at home, and abandoned his grieving daughterâwho, damn it, needed her father.
Your hands clenched into fists as an overwhelming rage filled you, but just as quickly as it had come, it vanished at Seungcheol's next words.
"I'm sorry."
You blinked and raised your head. "For what?"
"That you lost them both."
You felt like you couldnt breath.
"Your motherâŠ" he continued quietly. "And then your father, even though he was still alive."
No one ever understood the pain you felt because of this. You mourned your dead mother, but you mourned your father just as muchâfor although he was still alive, he had long since ceased to live by your side. Because you had lost him, too, on the day your mother died.
"They are fools. All of them." Seungcheol's voice was firm and brimming with conviction as he knelt down in front of you again and his eyes met yours, unwavering.
"Because if they had known you, really known you, there's no amount of gold in the world they would've traded you for."
Your breath caught in your lungs, and you stared speechlessly at the man in front of you. This time, no tears ran down your cheeks. This time, a gentle smile slowly formed on your lips, and your heart felt warm.
You didn't regret for a single second having told Seungcheol more about yourself.
The next day, you didn't talk about yesterday's conversationâsomething you were grateful for. While it felt good that Seungcheol knew a little more about you now and you were glad to have opened up to him at least a bit, you really didn't like talking about the past, let alone thinking about it. You had already wasted far too many moments of your life on that.
But apparently, yesterday's conversation took more of a toll on you than you thought, given that you woke up this morning with a splitting headache and an overwhelming sense of fatigue.
You blamed it on the bad weather. A mere glance out the window showed you the torrential rain, and perhaps you had caught a cold a few days ago? Surely nothing that your good herbs couldn't quickly fix.
But as you tried to slowly rise from the reading chair (it was your turn to sleep in it again tonight) and stood upright for just a few seconds, dizziness overcame you, and you quickly sank back down into the chair, squinting your eyes.
At that exact moment, the headache returned, and you had to stifle a pained whimper. It felt as though your head was about to explode. And why the hell was it so hot?
"What's wrong?"
Seungcheolâs voice echoed through the cabin, and your eyes opened again as your head snapped up toward him. And just like that, you felt better.
The throbbing in your head had subsided, and the sudden dizziness was gone, too. You didn't feel so hot anymore, and in general, you felt⊠lighter?
Confused, you narrowed your eyes slightly and then just gave a slight shake of your head. "Nothing, I think I've just caught a bit of a cold," you murmured softly, rubbing your tired eyes.
Seungcheolâs gaze drifted out the window, and he nodded when he saw the pouring rain. "Stay and keep yourself covered up. Iâll make us some breakfast." He turned toward the kitchen counter and surveyed your vast selection of herbal teas. "And tea for youâprovided you call out which herbs I should use so I don't accidentally poison you."
A playful look was reflected in his eyes, but it vanished the moment he saw you huddled in the reading chair: your head rested wearily against the backrest and you could barely keep your eyes open, even as you struggled to keep your gaze fixed on him.
Seungcheolâs eyes softened instantly. "Daisy," he murmured, crossing the short distance to you and kneeling down. He placed a hand gently against your forehead, and it felt like heaven. Seungcheol could do anything he wantedâjust as long as he didn't take his hand away from you.
"You're burning up," he murmured with concern; his hand left your forehead, and you almost whined in protest. But the very next moment, he held out both hands to you. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
You immediately placed your hands in his, and a deep sense of contentment washed over you once more. You had no idea what was wrong with you; the moment Seungcheol was gone, you felt miserable, yet with just a single touch from him, all your ailments vanished in an instant?
Seungcheol helped you straighten up and gently pulled you to your feet. Under normal circumstances, this moment would have been incredibly embarrassing for you, but given your situation, you didn't even think to feel ashamed as you stumbled weakly against him and rested your head exhaustedly against his chest. Right there, level with his heart, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat alone made you feel like you could drift off into a peaceful sleep right then and there.
A small whimper actually escaped your lips, and you noticed Seungcheol freeze for a few seconds before, after what felt like an eternity, he let out a soft breath and murmured, "Don't kill me for this once you're feeling better, but I don't know how else to get you into bed." With those words, he gently slid one hand beneath the backs of your knees while supporting your back with the other, lifting you effortlessly into his arms.
Your eyes closed contentedly, and your head was still resting against his chest as he carried you into your bedroom and gently lowered you onto the bed. The moment his hands left your body, the headache and dizziness returned.
You squeezed your eyes shut in pain and buried your face in the pillow, and - oh. oh.
It smelled like Seungcheol.
Contentment filled your heart; even though the headache lingered, the dizziness was at least gone. Seungcheol had quickly fetched a glass of water from the kitchen; he knelt gently in front of you again and held it out.
"Drink," he ordered softly. Your eyes opened, and you tentatively tried to take the glass from him, but he shook his head and kept a firm grip on it.
"You'll spill it," he murmured; his hand gently cradled the back of your neck, guiding your feverish head toward the glass and helping you take at least a few small sips. "Here you go," he murmured with satisfaction, then set the glass down on the small nightstand beside the bed.
Your eyes closed wearily, and when Seungcheol quietly told you to simply call him if you needed him, you noddedâtoo exhausted to find the strength to speak.
Just before he left the room, however, something occurred to you.
"I need my suppression tea"
Seungcheol stopped in his tracks and looked at you with watchful eyes. "What kind of tea?" Unease spread through his body; he had a sinking suspicion given your condition, and he prayed to the gods that he was wrong.
Yet you had no inkling of this. You kept your eyes closed and spoke on, as if no wall in the world, one you had built around yourself over the years, could now hold back what had to be said. "For my heat. That I dont get it."
Alarm washed over Seungcheol. "You drink tea to keep from going into heat?" he asked in a low, stunned voice, and you hummed in agreement, half-asleep.
Seungcheol closed his eyes for exactly three seconds before pulling himself together. "How long has it been since you were last in heat, Daisy?" he asked in a steady voice, and your answer knocked the ground out from under him.
"One year," came your quiet reply before you fell asleep enveloped in Seungcheol's scent, and the Alpha in your room didn't even take his eyes off you for another whole minute, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now with an Omega about to go into heat for the first time in a year again.
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Seungcheol felt like he couldn't breathe. Or it was that Alpha inside him that is knocking the air out of his body right now, demanding him to go to her and help the Omega in distress.
God, he was so stupid.
Why hadn't he thought about it much sooner? Why hadn't he even considered how you managed here, all alone in this little cabin, during your heats? There was no Alpha here to help you, and by now he knew you well enough to realize that you never would have let one get close to you anyway. After all, you had been sold to a damn Alpha.
Seungcheol gripped the kitchen counter tightly.
Suppression herbs.
You took damn herbs to suppress your heat so you wouldn't have to suffer through it alone. Because you had no other choice.
It had been a long time since Seungcheol had felt rage like the kind now seething within him. The last time was the day he lost Noxus and slaughtered the three men who had been pursuing him.
But, god - Seungcheol was furious.
Furious at your cowardly father, who had set this whole situation in motion; furious at that damned Alpha and his family, who had merely exploited youâseeing not you, but only your value as a woman; furious at yourself for putting yourself through all thisâalone.
But most of all, he was furious at himself. Furious that he had let himself be lulled by the normalcy of everyday life, by a routine that had increasingly felt like a blessing and had failed to immediately analyze and grasp the facts, as he had always done back in Noxtus.
He was a king, damn it. How could he have failed to put two and two together?
Now, as he thought hard about it, everything made sense. He recalled the panic you had shown that day in the kitchen when you were searching for specific herbs; the moment he had finally caught your scent for the first time. You had run out of the herbs used to suppress your heat, which was why you had needed new ones so desperately.
He racked his brains trying to remember the name of those herbs.
Then his eyes fell on your bookshelf, and he remembered how you had once proudly shown him a thick book about herbs and plants. You had bought it at the market a very long time ago, and it was a huge help to you because it contained a vast amount of information on all kinds of herbs and plants.
In a few strides, he pulled it out and studied the massive tome in his hand. A look of doubt crossed his features, and his dark eyes turned toward the ajar bedroom door, where you lay asleep in bed.
Seungcheolâs alpha didnât want to waste time leafing through the volume to figure out why the herbs had stopped working. He wanted to get to his omega and help herâdamn it all.
His omega.
Seungcheol paused for a moment as that possessive thought swirled through his mind; he quickly suppressed his eager alpha and pulled himself together.
He had to find out why the herbs were no longer effectiveâand hope he didn't lose his mind in the process of keeping his alpha in check the whole time.
It took nearly an hour before he finally recognized the name again. Cyperus. Seungcheol straightened up in his chair, and his eyes focused on the text that would finally provide the answers he needed.
Cyperus (Moon Sedge)
Common names: Moon Sedge, Silver Cyperus, Omega's Grace
A perennial marsh herb characterized by long, silver-green stems and narrow leaves with pale white veins. When dried and prepared as tea over an extended period, Cyperus has been known to calm the instincts of Omegas and suppress the onset of heat.
Properties and Uses
For centuries, Cyperus has been used by healers and physicians to ease severe heat symptoms or delay the cycle when no suitable Alpha is available. Daily consumption over several months gradually weakens the body's response to heat and may suppress it entirely for extended periods. However, long-term use can result in increased fatigue, weakened senses and a more severe heat once the herb is discontinued.
Preparation
The leaves and roots are to be dried and steeped in hot water once daily. Effects are cumulative and depend on consistent use. Sudden interruption after prolonged consumption often results in an intense rebound heat within one to three days.
Warning
Cyperus should not be administered without careful identification.
Do not confuse with Cyperus Alba (White Marsh Reed), a visually near-identical species with broader veins and lighter roots. While harmless, Cyperus Alba possesses no suppressive properties and is traditionally used only to relieve headaches and mild fevers. Substituting one for the other may lead to unintended heat onset due to ineffective suppression.
Seungcheolâs eyes snapped toward the kitchen, and the next moment he was no longer sitting in the chair but was going through all your drawers of herbs to find your Cyperus herbs.
What felt like a damn eternity, because you had so many herbs at your disposal, yet none of them looked like the one described in the book.
Seungcheol looked around the kitchen with a frown before his gaze fell upon a small, inconspicuous box. Without paying attention to your privacy, wondering where you might be storing things, he opened it, thinking he had finally found exactly what he was looking for.
However, these were not the standard Cyperus herbs, but the Cyperus albaâthe very plant that did nothing to suppress a heat. Unknowingly, you had stopped taking your medication over the past few days and were now on the verge of going into heat.
And according to the reference guide, this heat would be far more intense and prolonged than a normal one.
Seungcheol closed his eyes in despair and wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now.
His alpha already knew the answer to that, but Seungcheol doubted you would like the idea.
When he thought back on his life so far, Seungcheol realized that he had never seen an Omega active in Heat before. Whenever Seungcheol went into rut, omegas from a specialized care program would attend to him. Utmost discretion was always maintainedâafter all, he had been the Crown Prince of Noxtusâand Seungcheol recalled feeling almost nothing during those times. It was simply a matter of biology: having to ride out those few days and satisfy his alphaâs needs.
But he had never cared for an omega himself.
He had no idea what to look for, what exactly omegas needed, or whether you were even in a state to decide whether you wanted his help or not.
His gaze turned back to the bedroom door, and Seungcheol could only fervently hope that, when you woke up, you would be thinking clearly before things really got started.
He didn't have to wait long. The soup he was preparing was nearly readyâhe knew you would need food and water during the breaks; plenty of waterâwhen a sweet scent wafted to him. His breath caught in his throat, and he tried to calm his pounding heart as well as his restless alpha, which seemed to be thrashing about inside him; it only settled down once he saw your gentle form lying in the bed.
You had your eyes closed, but when you realized Seungcheol had entered the room, you slowly opened them.
"Hey," you croaked in a raspy voice, and Seungcheol smiled carefully at you.
"Hey, you."
He approached your bed with slow steps, and you made no move to stir. You weren't in heat. That thought reassured Seungcheol, yet the beads of sweat on your forehead and the disoriented look in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. It wouldn't be long now.
But he had to talk to you first. He needed to know what to do.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, slowly settling onto the edge of the bed. He didn't touch you. He was afraid of triggering something that wasn't supposed to happen yet.
"Not good," you merely murmured, and Seungcheol pressed his lips together, wondering how best to phrase his next words.
When nothing better occurred to him, he sighed softly. "Daisy, can you sit up?"
For a brief moment, you didn't move; then you nodded gently and, with agonizing slowness, sat up and leaned against the bed's backrest. You winced in pain, your face twisting, before looking back at Seungcheol.
"What's wrong?" you asked wearily, looking at him with concern, and Seungcheolâs heart clenched painfully. You were doing terribly, yet you were still worried about him.
Seungcheol looked down at the floor for a moment before sighing and then looking at you with a serious expression. "Daisy, you need to listen to me very carefully now." His eyes bored into yours. "Can you do that?"
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion before you nodded gently.
Well, here goes nothing.
"You're going into heat."
For a few moments, your expression remained motionless. Confusion and shame slowly were reflected in your eyes as you wondered why on earth he was making such claims.
"W-What? I can't. I drink my cyperus tea every day," you said with faint determination, shaking your head slightly.
Seungcheolâs mouth turned down slightly, and he regarded you warily as he replied. "You didn't buy Cyperus herbs in the village. They are herbs from a plant that looks almost identical but has no suppressive effects. Cyperus alba." His voice was gentle; the last thing he wanted was to send you into a panic and thereby stress your bodyâyour omegaâeven further.
But no matter how gently he might have spoken the words, there was nothing he could have doneâdeliberately, at leastâto prevent the panic rising within you. Your eyes widened slightly, and he could practically see your thoughts racing.
"N-No, that can't be right. I⊠I specifically said I absolutely needed the Cyperus herbs, and the old ladyâ" your voice broke, and panicked tears glistened in your wide eyes as the realization finally hit you.
"The old lady was nearly blind and deaf," you murmured, devastated, your hands trembling as they clawed at the bedcovers. "And I wanted to get out of the village as quickly as possible, so I didn't check the herbs again."
Calmness and determination were reflected in Seungcheolâs eyes. He couldn't afford to panic himself right now. He had to have the situation under control, just as he had so many times before. It was now his responsibility to ensure you got better as quickly as possible.
"Daisy, look at me."
But you were deeply trapped in your panic. Your breathing was ragged, and the full extent of the situation was likely just dawning on youâthe fact that you hadn't been in heat for a year, and that it wasn't going to be a normal one. You didn't react to Seungcheol's words.
"Daisy." His voice was calm but serious. Determined.
Without a second thought, he reached for both your hands and held them firmly in his own. Your warm, soft hands in his large, rough ones; his alpha let out a delighted cry. You fell silent instantly, staring at him with wide eyes. Your scent made Seungcheol swallow hard for a moment before he pulled himself together.
"I can help you."
You immediately stiffened. "W-What?" you asked in a panicked voice.
Seungcheol gently squeezed your hands.
"Listen, this heat isn't going to be normal." His eyes shined in determination. "It could last weeks, and I won't let you suffer through every single second of it. You don't have to suffer." His voice grew quieter, softer. "Let me help you."
You said nothing, but your eyesâstill wide with shockâtold Seungcheol everything he needed to know.
"I won't force myself on you. If you don't want my help, I won't impose it on you. But I promise you, if you do want it, it won't change anything between us." Seungcheolâs chest ached, as if the words spilling out of him were pure poison. "I won't be your Alpha and you won't be my Omega afterward. Iâll leave as soon as Iâm fully recovered."
His voice shifted, growing quieterâmore fragileâas he practically pleaded with you. "But let me make it up to you. Let me repay you for saving my life back then. I don'tâI can'tâbear to hear you suffering in here for weeks."
His eyes remained locked on yours, and you stared back at him speechlessly before slowly calming down and gazing, defeated, at the duvet beneath you.
"I need to hear it from you, Daisy. Once youâre in heat, you wonât be able to think clearly anymore. Thatâs why I need to know," he murmured in a deep voice.
It felt like an eternity, but Seungcheol waited. He didn't let go of your hands. And when you finally looked up at him cautiously and he caught a glimpse of your clear eyes, he knew you had made a decision.
"Okay," you murmured, and Seungcheol felt as though he could finally breathe again. "But only on the condition you promised." You took a deep breath and returned his gaze. "Nothing between us will change."
Seungcheol nodded and smiled slightly. His alpha ought to have been leaping for joy, but strangely enough, it remained calm and grumbled with dissatisfaction. But Seungcheol couldn't focus on that right now. He had promised to look after you wellâto take care of you. And he would damn himself to hell if he failed to do so.
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The next time you woke up, it felt as though the whole world were spinning. Your breathing was labored, and, disoriented, you wiped your face; beads of sweat stood on your forehead, and your shirt clung uncomfortably to your skin.
That was exactly why you had drunk that damn tea every day. You hated being in heat. Every damn time, it felt like you were about to dieâand that one time you went into heat at his house was the decisive moment when you decided to run away.
The first few times in the cabin were awful, too, marked by days of writhing back and forth and an endless craving to get a knotâbut thanks to the constant, steady intake of the tea, things finally improved over time. Until, eventually, you stopped having heats altogether.
You knew it went against your biology and that subjecting an omega body to this was by no means healthy, but it felt like the right solution, especially when you thought back to the reason your father had handed you over to him in the first place.
In any case, that only worked until Seungcheol entered your life. You should have put two and two together immediately. You should have questioned why your omega wouldn't stay quietâeven with the teaâever since he arrived. You should have questioned it even more when your omega suddenly went unnaturally quiet out of nowhere, even though you were drinking tea made from Cyberus Alba herbs that no longer had any suppressive effects.
Your omega was preparing for a heat and was now more present than ever. It was practically screaming inside you for attentionâfor Seungcheolâs attention.
From the moment Seungcheol stepped into your cabin and your omega realized an alpha would be in close proximity for an extended period, it had been a losing battle.
And now Seungcheol had offered to help you. After you said yes, he had gently and carefully fed you soup and helped you drink every now and then; the mere thought of being so weak and dependent on someone again made you want to burst into tears.
But you had no strength, and your body felt as though it were about to explode at any moment.
Your insides writhed and twisted, and as a painful cramp filled your lower abdomen, you jerked violently, unable to stop the small whimper that escaped your lips.
Seungcheol was standing in the room the next second.
His eyes regarded you with concern, and had you not been in such a state, you might have noticed his hands trembling for a mere two seconds before he clenched them into fists, regaining control over himself and his fear of the situation.
Your eyes closed in embarrassment but fluttered open again when you heard cautious footsteps and saw Seungcheol crouching beside the bed with a cool cloth.
Without a word, he gently pressed it against your forehead and dabbed away the sweat. You studied his face. He was completely focused; his dark eyes followed the movement of his hands, and his brows were furrowed with concern. Only then did you notice a small scar running through his right eyebrow.
You attributed your next move to your current state. Had you been yourself, and not on the verge of going into heat, you never would have cautiously reached out and slowly traced the scar with your thumb.
Seungcheol froze instantly, his dark eyes locking onto yours, though yours remained fixed on his scar.
"Where did you get that?" you asked in a raspy voice. Seungcheol didn't answer for a few seconds, finally replying in a voice that sounded just as thick with emotion.
"I fell while playing with Jun when I was a kid and slammed into the edge of a table."
An amused look crossed your eyes as you continued to stroke the scar. "It's pretty."
Seungcheolâs eyebrows rose skeptically, causing you to still your hand. "You think my scar is pretty?"
"Hmm. It suits you" you murmured dreamily, slowly pulling your hand away before shifting uncomfortably a moment later. "God, Seungcheol, Iâm so hot."
You tugged at your shirt, which was still clinging to your skin, and Seungcheolâs eyes followed your hands before he took a deep breath. "Let's get you out of this, okay?"
You nodded eagerly, and the next moment, Seungcheol was no longer crouching beside the bed; instead, he gently pulled you up with his large, rough, beautiful hands and positioned himself sitting behind you. You lacked the strength to stay upright on your own, so you immediately fell backward, finding yourself leaning against Seungcheolâs broad, muscular chest.
God, how had you gone without this until now? Seungcheolâs hands steadying your arms felt heavenly, and your features softened as he was finally close to you.
"Is this okay?" Seungcheolâs voice broke the brief silence, and you nodded quickly; you absolutely didnât want him to let go of you.
You thought you heard an amused snort behind you, though it was quite possible you had just imagined it.
"I need you to lift your arms for me, can you do that?"
You carefully raised your arms, and the sound of Seungcheol humming in approval sent shivers across your skin.
"Good girl," he murmured close to your ear; those words alone made you feel dizzy again, and your omega was floating on cloud nine with joy.
Seungcheolâs hands grasped the hem of your shirt and carefully pulled it over your head; now, the only thing covering your upper body was a short top. It clung to your skin, and your breasts pressed uncomfortably against it, but Seungcheol didnât reach for the top. Instead, he picked up the cold cloth again and soothingly dabbed at your arms, shoulders, and neck.
A contented sound escaped your lips, and your eyes closed in sheer pleasure.
"Good?" Seungcheolâs soft voice asked from behind you, and you could only nod; even if you had wanted to speak, no sound would have come out. You were too focused on Seungcheolâs hands on you, on the cloth pressing against the back of your neck, andâoh.
Your breathing quickened slightly as Seungcheolâs fingertips touched that sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder. Your body was already trembling with arousal, and your chest rose and fell rapidly.
Seungcheol, sitting behind you, set the cold cloth aside; his breath caressed the back of your neck, and his deep voice caressed your right ear. "Can we try something, Daisy?"
You didn't even stop to consider an answer; you nodded immediately, and a hoarse whisper escaped your lips. "Please."
Seungcheolâs soft laughter sent a flutter of stars through your stomach. His hands gently stroked up and down your arms, and your head was now resting in the hollow between his shoulder and neck.
"Tell me if I should stop," he murmured, his fingers lightly tracing that exact spot at the base of your neck.
"Don't," you whispered breathlessly; your eyes fluttered shut in sheer pleasure as his hot breath replaced his fingers. The tip of his nose grazed softly from your shoulder up to your neck, and when his mouth found the perfect spot, you let out a loud, blissful sigh, your chest rising with the intensity of the sensation.
God, nothing had even happened yet, and you could already feel the heat and wetness between your legs.
Then you realized what he was actually doing.
Seungcheol is scenting you.
And you would go up in flames if he stopped. His lips grazed the spot gently, and when he began to suck lightly on it, you couldn't hold back the soft moan that escaped your lips. Your hands reached out for something; one hand clutched the duvet, while the other dug into Seungcheol's leg.
A few hours ago, Seungcheol had made it clear to you that he had never done anything like this before, but now you found it hard to believe him, because it felt heavenly. He alternated between kissing, licking, and sucking, and if scenting alone felt this good, you couldn't imagine what it would be like to take his knot. The mere thought made you drip even more, and a longing sound escaped your lips.
Seungcheol laughed softly against your skin before trailing kisses higher and higher up your neck, murmuring in a low voice behind your right ear: "You should hear the pretty sounds coming from your mouth, sweetheart."
His mouth continued to kiss your neck, not neglecting the other side âand you eagerly offered your neck to him.
"All for me," he murmured, sounding almost hungry, as he kept on licking, sucking, and kissingâon and on. Until you could barely stand it anymore.
"Seungcheol," you whimpered softly; he stopped with a low hum and brushed his nose against your cheek.
"Tell me what you want, pretty girl."
Your eyes met his, and an irrepressible desire surged through you. You needed his lips on yours. Right now.
"Kiss me?"
Not even a second later, his lips were hungrily claiming yours, and every part of you cried out in joy. The world was spinning againânot in an overwhelming way this time, but as if everything were finally right. As if there were no better place on earth for you than right here in his arms.
His lips claimed yours, and his hand moved to the back of your neck to pull you even closer. A sound of contentment escaped you as his tongue grazed your lips, and you immediately granted him entry. Your tongues intertwined, and you had to break the kiss briefly to catch your breath. Both your breathing and Seungcheolâs was heavy; his dark, hungry eyes bored into yours, and the desire burning within you couldn't possibly be your ownâit had to stem from some higher powerâfor the mere sight of his face and the hunger in his eyes compelled you to press your lips against his once more.
This time, you didn't pull away first; even when Seungcheol carefully shifted forward so he was no longer behind you, he made sure not to break the contact between your lips. Whenever it did happen, he closed the gap again almost immediately.
His hands gently pressed you into the mattress, and he hovered over you, breaking the kiss to look down at you breathlessly.
"You okay?" he asked, his breathing rapid, and you nodded quicklyâfar too quickly, because you needed him. Right now.
"Good. Because I don't think I can stop even if I wanted to," he exhaled, and you quickly shook your head.
"Don't stop."
A smile formed on his lips, and you felt like you were melting.
"Let's get you out of these clothes," he murmured, hungrily eyeing your nipples pressing against the thin fabric of your top.
Goosebumps rippled across your skin as he slowlyâwith agonizing deliberationâpulled your top over your arms and head; you let out a soft breath as the cool air touched your nipples. You felt not a trace of shame, for Seungcheolâs lips were already gently kissing your neck, tracing a path downward with kisses as delicate as raindrops.
When he finally reached the level of your breasts, his eyes darkened even furtherâif that was even possible.
"Look at these," he murmured yearningly. "Look at you." His eyes shone with something you couldn't quite placeâbut you had no time to think, for he was slowly tracing circles with his fingertips along the underside of your right breast, and you impatiently arched your chest toward him.
His eyes shifted back to yours, teasing. "Impatient little thing," he laughed softly, though his fingertips continued to merely circle under your breast.
A soft sigh escaped your lips, followed by a breathless plea.
A smile played on Seungcheolâs lips as he murmured, "Don't worry, sweetheart. Theyâll get all the attention they deserve." His gaze dropped back to your breasts, and finallyâdamn it, finallyâhe gently traced circles over your right nipple with his fingertips while his other hand softly kneaded your other breast.
Your eyes closed in sheer pleasure, and whimper after whimper escaped your lips. "Yes, God, please don't stop," you murmured, and a small gasp escaped you as you felt the familiar warmth of his tongue tracing your right nipple.
You pressed your legs together; by now, you were certain you were already dripping wet.
Seungcheol took all the time in the world, just as he had promised. He began by kissing, licking, and teasing your right nipple. The pink buds glistened from his tongue, and while his mouth was occupied with one, his fingers grazed the other.
"Oh my God," you whispered in pleasure, and Seungcheol hummed contentedly. He moved away from your breasts with gentle kisses and looked up at you teasingly, then kissed your soft stomach and murmured, "Just wait until I get to your pussy, sweetheart. Then you can pray to as many gods as you want."
A breathless, guttural sound escaped your lips, and you sighed in a pleading voice, "Then hurry."
Seungcheol laughed as he slowly pulled your trousers off your legs, shaking his head with evident relish. "Forget it, Daisy. Iâm taking all the time in the world with you."
You turned your gaze toward him in sweet torment; he came back up to you with an amused smile and kissed the back of your neck again. "You're a masochist," you murmured, though you didn't mean it at all.
"I hate you."
Seungcheol grinned against your skin, his eyes locking onto yours once more. "You hate me?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly and ran his left hand gently over your thighâdangerously close to your panties, the only garment left on your body.
You pressed your lips together, your breathing quickening again. Seungcheolâs smile turned even more teasing. "You're a terrible liar, sweetheart."
His lips kissed you again, and right as the kiss deepened, you suddenly felt his fingers pressing against your underwear; you broke the kiss with a guttural moan. His fingers traced agonizingly slowly over your pussy, and your hips jerked upward greedily.
"If you hated me, Daisy,"âhis voice dripped with hungerâ"you wouldn't react to me like this."
A soft moan escaped you, and you looked up at him with pleading eyes while he continued to stroke gently over your covered midsection.
"Seungcheol, please," you breathed, and his dark eyes never once left yours.
"What do you need?" he asked in a firm voice; you squeezed your eyes shut as goosebumps spread across your skin.
"IâIâŠ" you stammered, unable to get the words out and shutting your eyes.
"Daisy, look at me."
Slowly, your eyes opened again, almost losing themselves in the depths of his. "I won't do anything you don't want. But you have to tell me how you want it. What I should do."
His lips brushed gently against your cheek. "You're in control, even though I'm the one doing the work."
Warmth filled your heart, and you looked up at him gratefully before murmuring, "I want you to touch me.. properly."
Satisfaction was reflected in Seungcheolâs eyes, and the next second, your pussy was no longer covered by your underwear; instead, the cool air caressed it gently. You let out a soft hiss of breath, and Seungcheol seemed unable to tear his gaze away from it.
"Look at you," he murmured in a rough voice, lightly tracing the area around it. "So wet, just for me." His eyes shifted back to your face. "Fucking perfect."
Your omega purred contentedly, and the moment Seungcheol finally stroked gently over your center and touched your clitoris, electric shocks shot through your entire body. He worked your pussy with slow, circular motionsâalternating between a slower and faster paceâand the wet, squelching sound created in the process was enough to send you to another world.
You were a moaning, whimpering mess, and Seungcheolâs lips met yours again, though you couldn't hold the kiss for longâit simply felt too good. Seungcheol took all the time in the world with you, and as he slowly slid a finger inside you, your upper body arched in pleasure.
He moved his finger in and out with gentle pressure, watching every expression that crossed your face. You could see in Seungcheolâs look that he was thoroughly enjoying himself, too, even though he wasn't experiencing any physical pleasure of his own; it was as if seeing you feel so good was enough for him. In that moment, you briefly wondered how you had come to deserve someone like Seungcheol.
By now, he had two fingers inside you and was picking up the pace, making you moan even more.
Your lower belly clenched with pleasure as he stimulated exactly the right spots over and over again, and your moans grew increasingly broken, loud, and breathless.
"Seungcheol, I'm⊠I'm," you stammered, unable to form coherent words.
But Seungcheol understood you anyway.
"Come for me, baby. All over my hand."
And you did.
It felt like an explosion. Not a single sound escaped you, yet your mouth was open, and one ragged breath after another left your lips. Your legs trembled, and Seungcheol using his two fingers; steadily and effortlessly guided you through your first orgasm.
As it slowly subsided, you noticedâto your own chagrin (or perhaps your delight)âthat you immediately wanted more. Much more.
It was surely due to your heat, but you didn't care. You needed him. Right now.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his head down, and you slammed your lips against his once more. Your tongue slid hungrily into his mouth, and he let you have your wayâlet you take whatever you wanted. He wouldn't deny you anything.
After a few moments, you broke the kiss and met his hungry gaze with the same intensity.
"I need you inside me, now." You kissed his cheek gently and let your omega speak through you. "Please, Alpha."
Seungcheolâs eyes flew wide open, and as if these were the words he had been waiting for all along, he clutched his hand in your hair; by now, his breathing was coming in ragged gasps.
"God, Daisy," he murmured, "you can't say things like that, baby."
Your mouth kissed his neck hungrily. "But it's true," you murmured against his skin. "I need you to fuck me." Your eyes met his again. "Please give me your knot."
Seungcheol gasped for breath and buried his face in the crook of your neck, lingering there for a few seconds as your hands traced down his back, before he nodded and looked at you with determination. "I'll give you whatever you want, sweetheart."
Then you were pressed back against the mattress, and Seungcheol quickly pulled his shirt over his head; the sight of his muscular torso left you speechless. You gazed at him with your mouth slightly open, and he gave you a playful wink. "Nothing you haven't seen before."
A smile played across your lips. "Let's see if you work up as much of a sweat here as you do when working out."
Seungcheol grinned and murmured against your lips. "Iâm certainly enjoying this more than any workout session in your garden."
Then he took off his pants, and you could already see his cock pressing against his underwear. Your eyes widened slightly and darted up to his face. "And that's supposed to go inside me?"
Seungcheol glanced down at himself, eyebrows raised, before a crooked grin spread across his face and he looked back at you. "You can take it." Then he stripped off his underwear, and you really weren't sure if you could trust his words.
He was hugeâlong and thick. You hadn't seen many other cocks (aside from his back then, and that one was laughable compared to Seungcheol's), but you were certain that other men would likely be envious of Seungcheol.
Seungcheol slowly straddled you again, his cock pressing gently against your stomach, and once more you felt as though the breath had been knocked out of you. But from excitement, not panic. God, you could hardly wait.
Seungcheol kissed you againâthis time gently and carefullyâand when the kiss broke, you asked in a cautious voice, "Can I touch you?"
Seungcheol smiled at youâGod, you loved it when he did thatâand murmured, "If that's what you want." He gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, and you nodded eagerly. "I want you to feel good too."
You pressed one hand against his chest, gently pushing him away just enough to position him so that he was lying on the mattress and you were over him.
You trailed soft kisses across his chest and stomach, and the feel of his hot breath against your skin only intensified your desire. Your hands stroked his lower belly, and the moment you slowly ran your hand over his cock, a low moan escaped his lips. "God, baby, you're going to be the death of me."
A smile played on your lips as you straightened up and simply replied, "Then I hope it's a good one." And then you took his cock fully in your hand and let your hand slide carefully up and down.
"Fuck," he hissed, trying to keep his eyes open and hold your gaze. You could have come right then and there without him even touching you again, but you focused on your hand and on Seungcheolâs ragged breathing.
After two minutes, Seungcheol suddenly sat up quickly, pulled you back down against him, and shifted your positions so that you were lying underneath him again.
"I need to be inside you right now, or Iâm going to explode," he muttered hurriedly, and you laughed breathlessly as you nodded quickly. Seungcheol positioned himself and ran his hard cock over your wet center, sliding slowly up and down, and you moaned against his lips. He planted a quick kiss on your mouth and murmured, "Tell me if it hurts."
You noddedâthat was all the signal Seungcheol neededâand the next moment, he carefully slid inside you, stretching your core open with a hint of pain. Your eyes narrowed slightly and Seungcheol stopped at once, but you shook your head. "No," you gasped, "keep going. Please."
Seungcheol waited a few seconds before slowly sliding further into you; it felt as perfect as two puzzle pieces finally coming together.
When Seungcheolâs cock grazed that exact right spot, you moaned and nodded wildly. "Right there."
Seungcheol slowly picked up the pace and straightened up slightly. His hands gripped your hips, and again and again, he hit the spot that made you see stars. Your moans grew louderâand that, precisely that, was what your omega had wanted all along. And you had been a fool to deny it that.
"God, Seungcheol," you gasped, burying your hands in the duvet as your moans mingled with his.
"You're doing so good, Daisy," he panted; you shook your head, fixed your eyes on him, and gasped your real name up at him.
It was crazy. Under normal circumstances, you never would have done this, but something inside you was screaming to reveal yourself to himâto give him at least a part of who you really were, as thanks for taking care of you and not letting you suffer.
Seungcheol was just as shocked as you; his movements slowed slightly. "W-What?" he rasped, looking down at you, and you couldn't help but smile softly.
"That's my real name," you murmured, looking up at him with a hint of uncertainty. "But Iâm happy to stay Daisy for you; I donât mind."
Seungcheol studied you for a few seconds before lowering his head and hungrily claiming your lips once more. "You'll always be my Daisy."
Tiny tears welled up in your eyes as Seungcheol picked up the pace again. You two merged into one; nothing mattered but your moans and the bond you sharedâeverything else faded into the background.
And just as you were both on the verge of climaxing, the painful realization hit you: you never wanted Seungcheol to leave.
That thought seared itself into your mind as your orgasm washed over you; a second later, Seungcheol came inside you, finally knotting with you.
Breathless, Seungcheol propped himself up on his hands beside your head, and you couldn't help itâtears of joy streamed down your cheeks.
Seungcheolâs eyes flew open in alarm, but you quickly shook your head. "It's okay," you whispered with a smile, swallowing hard. "I'm just so happy."
Seungcheolâs face involuntarily relaxed, and a gentle look appeared in his eyes. He brushed the hair from your face again, and your noses brushed lightly against each other.
You weren't sure if that earlier promiseâthat nothing would change between you afterwardâhadn't been a huge mistake after all.
You fell asleep in his arms.
After Seungcheol slowly pulled away from you, he immediately held out a glass of water and insisted you drink it all. You fell into a deep sleep almost instantly after that; you only vaguely noticed him pulling you against his chest, yet you had never felt safer in your life than right there in his arms.
When you woke up hours later, a fresh wave of desire washed over you. You let out a sound of dissatisfaction, turned over in Seungcheolâs arms, and looked up at his sleeping face.
He was beautiful. His features were completely relaxed in sleep, awakening a desire in you to kiss him awake so that you could finally feel his fingersâfeel himâeverywhere again.
You thought back to your previous heats, but none had been as intense as this one. That made sense, of course, after all, youâd been messing with your body for over a year. But a part of you believed it was also because of Seungcheol. You felt at ease with him. Safe.
And you desperately needed his attention back on you.
Your fingertips traced his face gently. They moved along his cheeks, over the scar on his eyebrow and across his forehead, finally reaching into his hair. Seungcheol hummed softly in his sleep, and a playful grin spread across your face. You leaned forward quietly and began kissing your way up the back of his neck. It took no more than another five seconds for his strong arms to wrap even tighter around you, pulling you even closer against his chest.
"Slow down, sweetheart. 'm not going anywhere" his raspy voice mumbled and you looked at him with a smile while continuing to nibble on his neck.
"Want to feel you again," you hummed against his skin, and a hand gently reached for your chin and tilted it upward, forcing you to stop your light kisses and leaving you no choice but to look into Seungcheol's eyes.
"Yeah?" he asked with a knowing smile as his left hand slowly traced a path down your body, and you closed your eyes in sheer pleasure.
"Eyes on me, baby. What do you want?" His fingers ran along the curve of your hip, and you willingly shifted your right leg to grant him entry to your hot middle, but he merely grazed your leg lightly. Dissatisfied, you narrowed your eyes slightly, hoping your pleading gaze said it all.
"That look tells me nothing. I need to hear your words," he answered patiently, his fingers brushing again and again just past your wet center.
"Please touch me," you breathed out, biting lightly on your lower lip.
"But I'm already doing that," he grinned slightly, and you let out an impatient growl. "Seungcheol, please. Please make me cum."
Towards the end, your voice had turned into an impatient plea again, and Seungcheol clicked his tongue. "Just this once."
He shifted his position so that he was hovering just above you, then caught your lower lip between his teeth. When he pulled away, his dark, almost black eyes locked onto yours. "Next time, I won't accept any growling or impatient behavior. Understood, Omega?"
Your breath caught in your lungs, and the sheer dominance Seungcheol was radiating made you even wetter and caused your heart to race. But you nodded, because you were a good omega. "'M sorry," you whispered.
Seungcheol was still looking deep into your eyes before he finally nodded and gently kissed your cheek. But he still wasn't touching you where you needed him most.
Seungcheol made no move to touch you down there with his fingers. To your alarm, he kept kissing his way further and further down; when he lifted your left leg high enough to duck beneath it, bringing his face level with your pussy, you pressed your lips together uncertainly.
"IâI've neverâŠ" you began, and Seungcheol looked up at you, amused.
"Then you have something to look forward to," he said; the confidence in his voice and his earlier promise to take care of everything to ensure you were okay swept away all your uncertainty.
Seungcheol slowly and gently kissed your thighs, his hot breath brushing against your waiting, twitching pussy more than once; with every passing second, you found it harder and harder to hold back.
Meanwhile, his fingers traced the length of your legs, and you gasped aloud when his hands gently parted your lab lips and soft, wet sounds filled the air again. He didn't even come close to touching your clitoris, but Godâjust the feel of his fingers in your hot wetness felt so, so good.
"God, you should see this." Seungcheol murmured, his eyes fixed on her pussy. "A fucking feast."
And the next second, he carefully licked your clitoris, and that alone was almost enough to undo you. You moaned aloud, and with every lick, with every gentle suck, you turned into a moaning mess.
"G-God, Seungcheol⊠yes, yes, yes, yes."
Seungcheol hummed contentedly against your pussy, and you squeezed your eyes shut as his tongue sped up and then slowed down again. When he slid a finger inside you and began moving it rhythmically in and out, you completely lost control.
"'M gonna cum," you moaned, your hands gripping the pillow behind you as your hips began to move rhythmically, matching the pace of his finger.
Seungcheol didn't stop, if anything, he only sped up and less than five seconds later, you reached your climax. Your moans could surely be heard throughout the cabin as your legs twitched slightly and Seungcheol licked and sucked you through your orgasm.
As it slowly subsided, you slumped down, exhausted, and closed your eyes.
You heard Seungcheol carefully climb back up to you and gently kiss your shoulder. You opened your eyes and looked at him, smiling. "Need more."
Seungcheol couldn't help but let out a soft laugh. "Of course you do."
ââ§Â°đČÖŒđą
The heat lasted almost two weeks.
Seungcheol used every spare moment while you were asleep to cook, to somehow look after your plants (hoping you wouldn't have a fit once you were back on your feetâthough he was really trying his best), and to get enough sleep so heâd have the energy to take care of you whenever you looked at him with those needy eyes again.
But Seungcheol couldn't argue with that, becauseâGodâhe was enjoying the time. Even though it was exhausting, he could die happy knowing that you were doing so well during such an extreme heatâand that he was the reason why.
However, guilt set in at night. While you slept peacefully beside himâusually only for a few hours before desire took hold of you againâSeungcheol layed awake for a long time, thinking of Noxtus. He wondered how he would ever make amends for it all.
He layed there while his people suffered under Lee Sinyoung. He didn't even have the chance to find out what the news was sayingâor how his actions were likely being justified. Yet, whenever he teetered on the brink of uncontrollable rage and hopelessness, he only had to look at you. At least he was helping one person in the world right now.
And for the moment, that had to be enough.
Seungcheol sensed the moment your heat came to an end. You had both just experienced your umpteenth orgasm, and Seungcheol was collapsing exhaustedly beside you just as you drifted off to sleep. Usually, he could still see a lingering desire in your eyes, but this time you were out cold immediately; his Alpha, too, was thoroughly satisfied, so Seungcheol put two and two together. You had made it through. You two had done it.
You would likely sleep for a long time now, and Seungcheol was glad your body was finally getting the rest it needed. He ignored the ache in his chest as he remembered the deal you had made: he was only allowed to care for you during your heat. Once it was over, everything was supposed to go back to the way it was before.
He had promised you that, and, casting one last, lingering look at you before quietly leaving the room, he vowed to himself not to break at least that particular promise.
The stabbing pain in Seungcheolâs chest wasnât the only problem. You were running low on food, and the crops in your garden didnât look too promising either. Seungcheol thought hard for a few minutes before settling on the only viable course of action: quickly heading into the village to buy enough food and returning, hoping you would sleep through the entire time.
So he did exactly that. He strode quickly toward the village, pulled the hood of his cloak over his head just before reaching it, and made his purchases with lightning speed. He was lucky that it was busy that day and people didn't look at his face any longer than necessary. Surely, they had all heard about the runaway prince of Noxtus, hadn't they?
But no one recognized him, and as Seungcheol stowed his entire haulâbread, cheese, and heaps of vegetablesâinto his basket, his gaze fell upon the massive tree in the center of the marketplace. And upon the huge roots pushing their way up through the ground.
Seungcheol glanced around for a moment to see if anyone was watching him, but once he was certain no one was, he walked briskly toward the tree. He crouched down where a small black star was painted on the groundâso small it could easily be overlookedâopened a tiny hatch, and nearly wept with joy when he saw a letter lying there.
He immediately tucked the letter beneath his purchases and was just about to head back toward the forest path when his blood ran cold. Guards. Guards equipped with Lunariaâs gear.
Bored, the two of them wandered through the market, eyeing the people around them warily. The people around them returned their gaze with suspicion or fear, and Seungcheol seized the opportunity when the pair stopped to look at an old manâs purchases.
With a steady but unhurried pace, Seungcheol made his way through the crowd; he heard the argument erupting between the guards and the man but did not stop. Even though every fiber of his being screamed at him to help. Even though he loathed himself for being a damn coward who fled instead of stepping in.
But he could not afford to be discovered. Otherwise, his entire escape up to this point would have been in vain. He had to wait for the right moment, and he hoped the letter would finally give him at least a few answers.
Seungcheolâs heart didnât settle until he was back inside the safety of your cabin. He tore the hood off his head and exhaled deeply, squeezing his eyes shut to calm his pounding heart.
Only after a few minutes, when he finally felt he wouldnât collapse right there on the spot, did he gently set down the basket and fish out the letter. His eyes burned with pain as he tore it open and saw his friendâs familiar handwriting.
We're okay.
They got the queen.
Chan is here.
Wait until we get you.
- SY
Seungcheol leaned forward in his chair, crumpling the letter in his hands as a thousand emotions washed over him.
Relief that all his friends had survived.
Anger and despair because that fucking bastard had his mother in his clutches.
Satisfaction that Chan was finally back in Noxus, and impatience because he still had to waitâhad to wait until he could finally strike back.
But he had already been waiting a long time. By now, he had been here with you for nearly two months, and he could certainly wait a little longer. His gaze fell on your bedroom door again and he thought of the guards in the village.
And while he waited, he could damn well make the most of his time; at the very least, by helping you.
ââ§Â°đČÖŒđą
Your first thought upon waking was that you were alone in bed. Your second thought was that you were disappointed about it.
You immediately despised yourself for that. You and Seungcheol had a deal, damn it. He had helped you (and very, very well, at that), and as soon as you were better, everything will be back to normal. And now you were better. No reason to pine for something that was over.
You let out a soft sigh and carefully sat up. You ran your fingers through your tousled hair and pressed your lips together. God, how were you supposed to face him normally now? The whole thing had been a terrible idea, and when you thought back on everything youâd saidâyour face instantly flushed red, and you buried your face in your hands.
Oh God.
You took a few deep breaths before banishing any thoughts of it to the deepest recesses of your mind. There was no point dwelling on it; you had to move on.
You quickly put on fresh clothes so you wouldn't have to walk around naked in front of Seungcheol before washing up.
You padded softly out of the bedroom, and the moment your eyes landed on Seungcheol, who was standing behind the kitchen counter chopping vegetables, you stopped in your tracks. "Oh."
"Hi," you murmured uncertainly to him; his eyes remained thoughtfully fixed on the counter in front of him, and a sense of unhappiness immediately spread through your chest.
He regretted it.
Your eyes dropped to the floor, and you hated yourself for the sadness filling you and the telltale stinging sensation just as you were about to slip away to the bathroomâbut Seungcheolâs surprised tone made you pause.
"Oh, hey. Didn't notice you."
He nodded toward the food in front of him and then gave you a slight smile. "Freshen up; the food will be ready soon."
You stared at him speechlessly before nodding quickly and disappearing into the bathroom. As you washed and scrubbed yourself with cold water, your thoughts were in complete disarray. Why had he been staring off so pensively? Had he really just not noticed you? Was he on the verge of telling you he was leaving?
A sigh escaped your lips. "Pull yourself together," you growled softly, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes, yet the uncomfortable tugging sensation in your heart wouldn't go away.
Ten minutes later, you were sitting at the table together, eating the meal Seungcheol had cooked. Neither of you said a word, and the silence seemed to swallow you whole. You struggled to find the right wordsâany topic of conversation that might lighten the moodâbut nothing, not a single word, escaped your lips.
Eventually, however, you could no longer bear the silence. You were just about to say something, anything, when Seungcheolâs voice suddenly broke the silence itself, and you looked at him with wide eyes.
"Are you able to defend yourself?"
Seungcheolâs eyes stared earnestly into yours, and you narrowed your eyes slightly in confusion. "What?" you asked, bewildered, and he let out a breath that sounded almost desperate.
"If someone were to attack you here, Daisy, could you defend yourself?"
You leaned back cautiously against your chair and shook your head in confusion. "Who would attack me?"
"Doesn't matter." Seungcheol's voice radiated harshness, and you pressed your lips together. What the hell was going on? Was that the reason why he had been so thoughtful the whole time?
"Well, Iâm not answering your question until you tell me whatâs going on," you replied in a firm voice, meeting his hard stare.
Seungcheol managed to hold your gaze for exactly one minute before sighing and staring angrily at his plate. Then he ran a hand through his dark hair, leaned back in his chair, and finally spoke. "I was in the village and saw⊠a thief there." He didn't look you in the eye as he said the words.
"And I wondered if youâre even capable of defending yourself if someone with ill intentions were to come across your cabin."
You thought for a few seconds. A thief, then? "That hasn't happened to me so far."
"Thatâs no excuse."
You sighed softly. "I kept you in check with my weed puller, too." You had meant it as a joke, but Seungcheolâs mouth didnât curl into a smile for even a second.
Instead, he kept staring at you seriously. "I was hurt, Daisy. And I never intended to hurt you."
You were about to object, but Seungcheol was already continuing.
"I'm going to teach you a few things."
"You don't have to do that," you countered immediately, and Seungcheol raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Iâm not leaving a woman alone in the woods unless Iâm sure she can at least defend herself against strangers."
He picked up his bowl and walked over to the kitchen counter, and you stared at his back.
"We start tomorrow."
And you really couldn't think of any more arguments against it.
At least it didnât rain the next day. You had slept in the bed again, even though you had tried to persuade Seungcheol to take it. His only reply, however, was that he had been sleeping in the bed for the past two weeks anyway and would take the reading chair and after that, you couldn't think of a single argument that wouldn't lead you to think back to your bodies intertwined.
So you accepted his decision and tossed and turned in bed, while your omega screamed inside you that something important was missing.
At some point, you had fallen asleep after all, and now you were standing here in your garden with Seungcheol facing you. You couldn't believe you were actually doing this. But you had to admit he was right; it certainly wouldn't hurt to at least be able to defend yourself.
"And now?" you asked uncertainly. "What am I supposed to fight with?"
Seungcheol studied you for a few seconds before stepping close and pressing a dagger into your hand. Your eyes widened slightly as they stared down at the pointed weapon. It was beautiful. Its hilt was pitch-black and adorned with tiny, etched stars, while the silver of the blade itself shimmered in the light. An onyx was set into the hilt, and you looked up in wonder at Seungcheol, whose gaze remained fixed on the dagger.
"That was a gift from my mother. It was always a faithful companion to me, but I think you could make better use of it."
"W-What? I can't accept this!" you cried, trying to press the dagger back into his hand, but his right hand closed over yours, and he looked deep into your eyes once more. It was the first time your hands had touched again, and little sparks of electricity shot through you. Your breath caught as you looked up at him.
"Keep it. I'll be able to leave with a better feeling knowing you have it." His eyes shimmered with pain for a second, but you could just as easily have imagined it. "Please."
Your eyes returned to the dagger before you nodded, a lump forming in your throat. Seungcheol nodded as well and let out a brief breath, then stepped back a few paces.
The dagger felt heavy in your hand, and you couldn't shake the thought that it felt like a farewell gift. Your hand closed around the pitch-black hilt, and you nodded to Seungcheol, signaling that you were ready to learn.
The first week after the party passes in a haze of numbness that feels like walking through fog so thick you canât see your own hands. You block his number the second you get home that night, fingers shaking on the screen as you do it, because if you donât, you know youâll read the texts and crumble.
You delete the conversation history without opening it, wipe every photo of him from your camera roll (in reality, theyâre just hidden) and shove his jacket into the back of your closet where you wonât have to look at it.
The lipstick on your mind wonât scrub off as easily, though. It replays in your head every time you close your eyesâthe red smear on his neck, the way he looked at you like youâd caught him stealing, the girlâs swollen lips and his half-undone belt. You cry in the shower until the water runs cold, then you stand there longer, letting it numb everything else.
Classes become your anchor, the only thing that feels solid in a world thatâs suddenly been tilted off its axis. You throw yourself into them with a desperation you havenât felt since freshman year, notes color-coded to within an inch of their lives, flashcards stacked like fortresses on your desk. The project with Mingyu looms over it all, unfinished and mocking you from the shared drive you havenât opened since the party. Professor Smith extended the deadline for the final submission by two weeks because of finals crunch, but youâve been avoiding it like a live wire. You work on your parts alone, piecing together the portfolio from the photos you took on your phone during those early days when everything was just an assignment and not this tangled mess of feelings. You donât need his candids anymore; you can make it work without them. You have to.
You see him everywhere, even when you try not to. In the lecture hall for your shared photography class, heâs there in the back row, head down, looking like he hasnât slept in days. Bags under his eyes, shoulders slumped, the usual golden glow dimmed to something grey and hollow. He doesnât look at you, but you feel his gaze like a weight every time you turn your back. In the cafeteria, heâs at a table with Vernon and Wonwoo, pushing food around his plate without eating, staring at his phone like itâs a bomb that might go off. You turn around and eat in your dorm instead. The library is the worst; your old corner on the third floor feels haunted, so you switch to the second floor stacks, burying yourself in books where no one can find you. But even there, you catch glimpses of him wandering the aisles like a ghost, eyes scanning the tables as if heâs looking for something he lost.
He tries to talk to you. God, does he try. The first time is two days after the party, outside Professor Smithâs office hours. Youâre waiting to ask about the project extension when he rounds the corner, freezing when he sees you. His eyes light up for half a second before they fill with that raw, desperate regret. âKyra,â he starts, stepping closer, voice already breaking. âPlease, just let meââ You donât let him finish. You turn and walk away, heart pounding so hard it hurts, ignoring the way he calls your name down the hall. The second time is in the quad, three days later. He spots you from across the grass and jogs over, breath coming in puffs like he ran the whole way. âKyra, waitâI need to explainââ You keep walking, headphones in, music blasting loud enough to drown him out. He keeps pace for a minute, pleading, until you hit the dorm entrance and slip inside without a backward glance.
The texts come in waves, even after you block his number. He switches to email, then Instagram DMs, then borrows Vernonâs phone one night and calls from there. You delete them all unread, but the previews haunt you: âplease just read thisâ and âiâm so sorryâ and âi miss you so much it hurts.â The voicemails are worse; you listen to one by accident before deleting the rest, his voice thick with tears: âKyra, I didnâtâI swear I didnât do what you think. Please, I need to see you. I love you. Iââ You hang up and block the number too. He shows up at your dorm twice, once with a bag of your favorite takeout from the food truck and once with a bouquet of sunflowers that Lucy turns away at the door with a sad shake of her head. âHe looks like shit, Ky,â she tells you later, rubbing your back as you curl up on the bed. âBut I told him you donât want to see him.â You nod, but the knot in your chest tightens anyway.
By the end of the first week, heâs everywhere and nowhere. You spot him in the hallways between classes, looking like a shell of himselfâclothes rumpled, eyes red-rimmed, moving like heâs carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. In photography class, Professor Smith calls on him to discuss a shot and he stumbles over his words, voice flat and empty, nothing like the confident guy who used to charm the room. You feel a twisted satisfaction in it, mixed with something that aches too much to name. Heâs sorry, you know that. He misses you, you can see it in every line of his body. But itâs not enough. Not after the lipstick, the belt, the girlâs swollen lips. Not after he threw âweâre not togetherâ in your face like it excused everything.
The second week is quieter, but the attempts donât stop completely. He emails Professor Smith to ask if he can submit his parts of the project separately, copying you on it with a note at the bottom: âI donât want to make this harder for you. Iâll stay out of your way.â You ignore it, but the gesture stings anyway. He shows up to the library one afternoon, spots you in your new second-floor spot, and freezes in the doorway. For a second, you think heâs going to walk over, but he just stands there, eyes locked on you like heâs memorizing the sight. Then he turns and leaves without a word, shoulders slumped. That night, Lucy tells you he was at the dorm again, sitting on the front steps for an hour with his head in his hands before Vernon dragged him away. âHeâs a mess, Kyra,â she says softly. âWonwoo says heâs not eating, not sleeping. He just paces and stares at his phone like itâs going to ring any second.â
You want to scream that itâs his own fault, that he doesnât get to play the victim after what he did. But the anger is fading into something heavier, something that sits in your chest like lead. You miss him too. God, you miss him so much it feels like a hole in your ribs. The library feels empty without his spinning chair and dumb jokes. Meals taste like cardboard without him stealing your fries. Nights are the worst; you lie awake staring at the ceiling, replaying every moment from the party, wondering if you overreacted, if you should have listened, if âweâre not togetherâ was just a drunk defense or the truth heâd been holding back. But then you remember the lipstick, the way he stepped out with that pleased little smile before he saw you, and the anger surges back, hot and fresh.
By the third week, finals are in full swing, and the project is due in two days. Youâve pieced together your partsâa clean, professional portfolio of âA Day in the Life of Someone Unlike You,â with stock photos and your own shots filling in the gaps where his candids should be. Itâs good enough for an A, but it feels hollow, like a story with the heart ripped out. You havenât seen him in class since the party; Professor Smith mentioned he dropped in for office hours but hasnât attended lectures. Rumors flyâheâs failing everything, heâs partying too hard to cope, heâs begging friends to talk to you on his behalf. Vernon corners you after a midterm, eyes pleading. âJust hear him out, Kyra. Heâs destroying himself over this. He didnâtââ You cut him off with a glare and walk away.
The iced Americano shows up on day twenty-two.
Youâre in the library, second floor, buried in flashcards for your economics final, when a shadow falls over your table. You look up and there he isâMingyu, looking like he hasnât slept in weeks, eyes sunken and red, hair unwashed, clothes hanging off him like heâs lost weight. He sets the iced Americano down in front of youâtwo sugars, splash of oat milk, exactly how you like itâand slides it across the table without a word. His hand shakes slightly.
You stare at the cup.
He stares at you.
The silence stretches, heavy and thick.
He opens his mouth, closes it, then tries again. âKyra, pleaseââ
âNo.â Your voice is quiet but firm. âDonât.â
He flinches like you slapped him. âI need to explain. I didnâtââ
âI donât want to hear it.â You stand up, gathering your books, heart pounding. âYou had your chance. You blew it.â
He steps in front of you, desperate. âI was drunk and stupid. She kissed me, I pushed her away, but it was too late. I didnât want her. Iâve never wanted anyone but you. Please, I love youâIâve loved you since the food truck, since you reorganized that shelf just to spite me. Iâm sorry, Iâm so fucking sorry, let me make it rightââ
You push past him, books clutched to your chest like armor. âSorry isnât enough, Mingyu. Not for this.â
He follows you to the stairs, voice rising with panic. âWhat do you want me to do? Iâll do anything. Iâll drop the class, Iâll leave school, Iâllââ
âLeave me alone!â You spin around on the landing, tears spilling over. âThatâs what I want. Leave me alone.â
He stops like you punched him in the gut.
People are staring now, whispering.
You donât care.
You walk away, leaving him standing there, the iced Americano still on the table, untouched.
He doesnât follow.
The project submission is the next day. You email your portfolio to Professor Smith with a note: âSubmitting solo. Mingyuâs parts are his to handle.â You get a reply an hour later: âUnderstood. Iâll grade accordingly. Hope youâre okay.â
Youâre not.
You see him one last time before leaving campus. Itâs in the parking lot, loading your car. Heâs across the lot with Wonwoo, throwing a bag into the trunk, looking like a ghostâpale, thin, eyes empty. He sees you and freezes, mouth opening like heâs going to call out.
ă pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader
ă plot: you decide to reward your boyfriend for christmas
ă wc: 1k (and some change hehe)
ă genre(s): established couple, smut, non-idol!AU
ă content: slight nsfw at the end, cheol is a very generous bf duhhh, they are FREAKS, a little dash of banter... i think that's it for now...
[RATING: M (18+) MDNI!!!]
[á°.á] this fic was written as a gift for @haoboutyou ! surprise! i'm your secret santa hehe \(^-^)/ this fic is also a part of the holiday fic exchange for @studiosvt so be sure to check the others out too!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Seungcheolâs car is already pulled up when you step out of your nail techâs house, engine idling like he has all the time in the world.
You barely manage a small âheyâ before youâre sliding into the passenger seat, hands instantly raised to his face.
âLook,â you breathe out, holding them up between you like theyâre priceless. Which they kind of areâŠ
His gaze drops to your hands, eyes taking in every detail of your new set. Slow and appreciativeâlike heâs committing them to memory. The corner of his mouth lifts, satisfied.
He hums. âYou like them?â
âI love them,â you grin, rotating your wrists so the light catches every glossy detail. âAnd thank you, again. You really didnât have to, you know. You already spoiled me so much for Christmas.â
Seungcheol reaches over, fingers brushing your knuckles, casual but unmistakably pleased. âMm⊠but I wanted to.â
He doesnât say anything else, but the way his thumb lingers gives him away.
He then reaches over, tugs your seatbelt into place for you like itâs second nature. Princess treatment like always, no questions asked.
As he pulls away from the curb, youâre already snapping picturesâtoo many at this point. You move your hands, adjust the lighting, hold your hands dramatically like they deserve their own spotlight.
âYouâre gonna run out of storage,â he comments, amused as ever. He glances over at you before returning his attention to the road.
The rest of the drive passes comfortably, filled with your quiet excitement and the soft hum of the car.
By the time you get home, youâre still buzzing. Shoes are kicked off, coats discarded, and the two of you are finally able to settle onto the couch.
You curl in beside him, still turning your hands this way and that, admiring them like you havenât already spent the entire drive doing exactly that. Seungcheol watches for a moment, expression unreadable, before reaching out.
He takes your handâpulling it close to his face again. He turns your wrist slowly, inspecting your new set like itâs fine art.
His thumb drags over the edge of your nail, slow enough to make your stomach flutter. Heâs enjoying this far too much.
âI like being able to spoil you,â he continues. âAnd I like when you look like this. All happy and cute.â
You take that as an invitation.
Another beat passes before you lean closer, hands resting against his firm chest. âSo⊠you admit it.â
He arches a brow. âAdmit what?â
âThat you have a thing for my hands.â
He scoffs but doesnât deny it. Instead, his mouth curves into a knowing smile, already used to your antics. âI have a thing for you. Your hands just happen to be part of the package.â
You hum, pleased, letting your hands trail down his shirtânails grazing deliberately, just enough to test him. âHow convenient.â
He catches your wrist gently. âYouâre poking.â
âBut, you like when I poke,â you reply sweetly, shifting closer to him, your knee brushing his thigh. Your other hand settles there, casual but intentional.
He exhales through his nose, amused.
He watches you for a second longer than necessary. âYou done?â
You glance down at your hands like youâre considering it seriously. Then you look up at him, lips curving up slow and sweet.
âMaybe for now,â you say. âI donât think I got enough pictures though.â
He snorts. âDidnât you already take like fifty?â
âItâs not enough,â you groan. âI need different settings, different moods!â
You shift even closer, deliberately resting your hands on his thigh this time. Your nails catch just enough to make his attention sharpen, his posture subtly changing beneath you.
âI was thinking,â you add, voice light, âthey might look even better if they were⊠occupied.â
His eyes lift from your hands to your face. âOccupied with what exactly?â
You blink at him, all innocent. âI donât know. Holding something, maybe? Something you seem very attached to.â
Thereâs a beat. Then he laughsâlow, disbelieving. âYouâre out of your mind.â
âAm I?â You tilt your head. âYou already paid for the nails. It feels wasteful not to use them properly.â
He studies you for a moment, then shakes his head with a quiet laugh.
You smile, already standing and reaching for his hand. âCome on.â
âAnd just where are we going?â he asks, even as he lets you pull him up.
As if he doesnât know the answer to that questionâŠ
You tug him toward the hallway, excitement barely contained. âSomewhere with better lighting.â
The bedroom door clicks shut behind you, soft and final.
You go straight to the drawer, no hesitation.
Seungcheol sits on the edge of your shared bed, watching you the entire time. His posture is relaxed, arms folding loosely as he watches you pull the camera out, handling it with care like itâs something precious. Because to him, it is.
You turn around and hold it out to him.
He takes it from you without a word, fingers brushing yours for just a second longer than necessary. The look he gives you is sharp, entertainedâlike he already knows how everything is going to turn out.
He turns the camera on, lifting it easily, gaze meeting yours through the viewfinder.
âYou ready?â he asks.
You nod, already stepping closer towards him. You slowly drop to your knees as the camera follows your every move. Your nails skim over the buckle of his belt, slow and intentional, just to feel the way his patience falters.
âYou like when I do this,â you murmur.
He scoffs softly.
You unbuckle his belt, unhurried, eyes never leaving his. The sound is quiet but unmistakable. Familiar. Your hands dip lower, grazing the zipper of his jeans.
Seungcheol exhales, head tipping back a fraction. One hand comes to your wristânot to stop you, just to steady you. Guide you if anything.
âCamera,â he reminds you, voice low.
You smile, sweet and satisfied, and glance at it once before looking back at him. âRight. I wouldn't want to forget.â
He raises it, already lining the shot up the way he likes, eyes flicking between the viewfinder and you.
Slipping your hands into his boxers, you gradually slip his leaky cock out of its confines. He was already hard from your touch. How pretty.
You wrap your hand around the baseâyour grip small, nails neat and delicate where they have no business being.
âThatâs it,â he groans out. âHold it⊠right there.â
Warnings: there was only one bed!, arguing as foreplay, petting/rubbing over clothing, implied sex, there are no references to reader's gender or genitals
Word Count: 1.4k
Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I donât own SVT - they just inspire me
Summary: It's hard to relax when you're stuck sharing a bed with your least favorite coworker, Wonwoo (or is it?)
A/N: This was written as part of the holiday fic exchange for @studiosvt đ Happy holidays @kyeomofhearts!! đ I heard you like e2l so I got you some Wonwoo e2l... hope it's enough to keep you warm this winter! âïž
Thank you to @minttangerines for looking this one over for me! And @/saradika-graphics for the dividers đ
SVT Masterlist đ Main Masterlist
âWill you please come to bed?âÂ
In your two years of working with Wonwoo, you'd never once dreamed youâd hear that phrase coming out of his mouth.Â
âCan you not say it like that?â you reply, shivering. The room is getting chillier by the minute. The old radiator in the corner is doing its best to try to keep up with the cold temperature outside, but its best is terrible.Â
If only youâd packed better for winter weather. At least your silky pajama set isnât too revealing. Not that Wonwoo can see you right now, with his glasses on the nightstand by his side of the bed. Thatâs bed, singular, as in only one. The reservation your company booked had been for two rooms, but one computer error and no other vacancies later, here you are, stuck sharing the same bed with the most frustrating man alive.Â
Why are work trips always so cursed?
âSay it like what?âÂ
âLike youâre inviting me to something that we both want to be happening.âÂ
Wonwooâs face is deadpan as he stares at you. âOkay. How about - get your stubborn ass under the blankets already so I can finally get some sleep - is that better??âÂ
Not better, exactly, but considerably more normal. The two of you have been at each otherâs throats since the day you were hired, locked in a neverending battle for dominance. You argue constantly, one of you always challenging the other. Youâre not sure anymore who started it, but you do know one thing for certain - you will not lose to him.Â
âFine. Just remember the agreement.âÂ
âIâm not gonna leave my side.â Wonwoo rolls his eyes as you slip beneath the blankets. The bed is queen-sized, with space enough between you that youâre not touching at all. You lie on your side and face the wall, completely ignoring him - or trying to, at least. Until you move your foot and accidentally brush his calf.
âOw!â He lifts the blankets to look at his leg. âI think you cut me with your toenails.âÂ
âShut up, no I didnât.â You barely touched him.Â
âKeep your little talons to yourself.âÂ
âMaybe you should sleep in something other than your boxers,â you suggest, then add quietly, â...if youâre gonna be such a little bitch about it.â Â
âI told you, this is what I always sleep in. I run hot. Also? I was not expecting any company tonight.âÂ
âItâs not my fault the reservation system glitched or whatever,â you point out defensively. âI donât want to be here.âÂ
He sighs. âYeah, I know. Now, will you please just relax?âÂ
âShuttup,â you mumble under your breath, kneading your pillow, pushing the lumps around. âIâm relaxed. Go to sleep.âÂ
âYou canât order me around,â comes a mumbled response youâre nevertheless meant to hear. He never lets you have the last word. Never.Â
At least youâre not cold anymore, since bickering with Wonwoo always fires up your blood. The way he gets under your skin should honestly be studied and applied as a torture technique. You close your eyes, hoping that when you open them again, it will be morning and this nightmare will have ended.Â
And maybe that wouldâve happened if the universe wasnât such a hater.
In the middle of the night, you wake to find yourself lying chest-to-chest with Wonwoo - intertwined, with his hand splayed across your hip and your leg lying over his. Your surprise fades into resigned acceptance. Sure, this might as well be happening.Â
At least it can be somewhat easily explained away - in your sleep, your body was obviously drawn to his heat. Itâs his warmth you were attracted to, not his surprisingly impressive physique. Did he always have such big biceps?. How does he hide those under his button-ups? Or move without popping a seam?Â
The position youâve ended up in feels weirdly intimate, as if the two of you are embracing. If Wonwoo wakes up while youâre wrapped around each other like this, he will undoubtedly start some shit, and youâre too tired to deal with that. Slowly, you roll your hips, trying to slide your leg off of him.
Wonwoo groans in his sleep. His hand clutches at you, holding you close, stopping your shifting. You wait a few minutes until he settles again before trying to push yourself away. But this requires more effort, and you jostle him awake. His eyes meet yours, then drop down to where youâre tangled together.Â
Heâs beyond smug. âI knew youâd end up over here.âÂ
âWhat?!â you exclaim. âYouâre on my side!âÂ
He scoffs, then grabs his glasses, looking around. âWhatever. Notice how you were the one wrapped around me? This wasnât just my doing.â He frowns. âBesides, this is probably just, you knowâŠâÂ
â...body heat?â
Something flickers in his eyes at your suggestion. ââŠsure.â
You lie there in silence for a moment, staring at each other. His hair is messy and his cheeks are smushed from his pillow. You must be delirious from lack of sleep, because you catch yourself thinking, heâs kinda cute when heâs not being an ass.
A chill distracts you. The radiator hasnât given up the fight, but the war is over. Damn it. You never sleep well when youâre cold.Â
Time to choke on your pride.
âWill you stay here?âÂ
âLike this?!âÂ
âNo, I mean like - â You turn over, so your back is facing him again, then kind of scoot backwards until youâre closer but not quite touching. âLike this. You know, for -â
â- body heat,â he finishes for you. âYeah, sure, thatâs fine.âÂ
âGreat.â That was puzzlingly easy. âItâs too cold - â
âBut only if you say please.â
âWhat?âÂ
You glance over your shoulder to find him smirking at you once more. Itâs teasing now, rather than smug, and despite yourself, you kind of like it. This is why heâs so frustrating - he stirs up so many confusing emotions in you.Â
Wonwoo repeats himself slowly. âSay. Please.â
âYouâre. Not. My. Boss,â you reply mockingly.
He clicks his tongue. âTry again. You want me to be nice, you need to be nice, too.âÂ
âWhoâs not being nice?â You pout, honestly unsure if youâre flirting or fighting at this point. Maybe itâs the same thing for the two of you.Â
âDo you want me to stay or not?âÂ
âOh, shut up and help me get back to sleep. The faster I sleep, the faster you do, too.âÂ
âThat isâŠâ He falls silent, recognizing that you have a point.Â
Without another word, Wonwoo lays down, pulling you towards him. His bare chest warms you through your top while his fingertips on your arms draw goosebumps. Hot and cold, a mixture of sensations, a mess of emotions. This is going to change things, isnât it?
His hand traces over your lower stomach, lighter than air, and your breath hitches. In the darkness of the room, itâs easy to avoid thinking about any potential ramifications, and focus instead on the tingling pleasure blooming everywhere he touches you.Â
âIs this what you meant?â he asks, and you gasp as his fingers push lightly on your lower stomach. An urgent need is growing inside you. âYou said you need help.â His lips ghost over the back of your neck. âDo you want me to touch you?â
You do, but you donât know how to tell him that without losing the game. You whimper his name, and push his hand between your thighs without another word.Â
He kisses the side of your throat. âThatâs what I thought.â
You open your mouth intending to give him an earful of what you think. But his fingers press against you through your clothes, and you canât speak for all the moaning youâre doing. With a low chuckle, he pulls your leg back over his, spreading you open for him. His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your pajamas.Â
This is really happening. You take a deep breath, and as you exhale, you let yourself melt against him.
âThatâs it, just relax.âÂ
If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. đ
Warnings:Â injuries & blood (injury is not explicitly described). joking death threats made between friends. mentions of drinking and alcoholic beverages. lying to parental figures. reader is written as single and desperate and moderately unwise (sheâs actually me).
[Series: Serenity Street 17]Â Your roommate begged you to pretend to date him while his mom is in town for the month. The little crush youâve had on him will either become your best friend or worst obstacle on this quest.
note: the fact that this fic came out as longer than my master's degree thesis will never not amaze me.
Your friends thought you were a naive fool for moving into Serenity Street 17, apartment 3A. Not because the neighbourhood or building was bad (if anything, they often commented about how cosy it was), but because you signed the rental agreement knowing full well youâd be sharing an apartment with a man you didnât know.Â
In your defence, youâd been hesitant to do so. However, after several reassuring comments from the building manager about how your roommate would be a perfectly sweet young gentleman (but mostly the influence of the looming end of your old rental agreement with a remaining budget from hell), you had done the insane thing and signed the agreement.
Fortunately, Joshua Hong, your new roommate, seemed like a true angel at first sight â both visually and metaphorically. Upon your arrival, heâd spent the entire weekend helping you move the heavy boxes and unbox everything (all the while you were trying your hardest to not feel weak at the sight of his gorgeous face and straining biceps). He assured you repeatedly that heâd do the dishes and cook for himself. He sent you off to work every morning with a sweet smile, a wave and a thermos full of hot coffee to start your day.Â
Youâd quickly learn why the neighbourhood aunties called him âSerenity Streetâs gentlemanâ. And at first you thought he truly deserved the title.
That is until you had lived with him for a month and realised he was the dictionary definition of unpredictable. Sure, he wasnât completely insane and most of the time he was truly the perfect roommate (as well as eye candy), but the moments when he did unleash his inner demons? Even now, many months later, you were still trying to decide if that side of him amused or scared you.
It was to the point where you and Chan, your neighbour from across the hall, had started keeping a shared list of Joshuaâs wildest moments (a tradition which several of your other friends in the building soon joined).Â
For one, there was the time when he decided to perform EXOâs âLove Shotâ with a truly unhinged choreography at the buildingâs monthly drunk karaoke night. The kicker? He didnât start drinking until after the cover (probably to bury the shame he felt).Â
Or the time when he mistakenly watered a fake plant for weeks and then, upon realising his mistake, proceeded to gaslight himself and everyone you knew that it had at one point been a real plant and someone must have snuck into the apartment to replace it with an identical fake one (you didnât have the heart to tell him that he was fooling no one (but Minghao had been more than happy to share the news with him for you )).
There was also, of course, the time when he had a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself made to decorate the living room and you couldnât have reminded him enough of how terrifying of a sight it had been at 4 am on your way to the bathroom. To his credit, he moved the cut-out behind Jeonghanâs apartment door a week later to terrify him instead. Jeonghan has since sworn heâd get back at your roommate for it one day (and you dearly hoped he would).
Needless to say, your roommate had you living on the edge of your seat at all times. So it didnât surprise you much when he knocked on your bedroom door at 11 pm before walking in and throwing himself head-first onto your bed.
Used to his shenanigans but well-aware of his need for attention, you just sighed and lowered the book you had spent all day looking forward to. âWhatâs up?â
His response was unintelligible, muffled against the sage green sheets.Â
You waited a moment for him to lift his head. Nothing happened. For a moment you wondered if heâd fallen asleep. So you nudged him with your foot. âShua?â
With a groan, he leaned upwards, resting on his elbows as he stared ahead and told you, âDo you think Iâm too single?â
Amused and confused by the question, you blinked rapidly. âIs that even a thing? I think all single people are equally single, no?â
âI havenât dated anyone in five years,â he told you.
âAnd?â
âI havenât gone on a date in three.â
âSo?â
âMy mom thinks thatâs too long.â
You took mild offence to that as you had been left out on the dry shores of Singleness for well over a decade â if your three-day middle-school playground marriage even counted towards this statistic, that is. If Joshua had been single for too long by his momâs standards, then you surely must have seemed like a completely hopeless case.Â
You shook the thought off and tried to seem like a supportive friend (even though your mind and soul were already lost in faraway lands, riding horses with dreamy fictional men that oddly looked like Joshua). âWhy does that matter?â
âBecause,â he started as if you should know this already, âshe wants me to go on a blind date with her friendâs daughter. She wants to discuss it tomorrow over lunch.â
Was it too soon to tell him you sometimes daydreamed of your mom appearing at the door with a handsome young man and demanding you to go on a date with him? Maybe. Was that too desperate? Probably.
âYouâre an adult man, Shua,â you told him with a scoff. âJust say no.â
âI canât say that to my mom!â
âWhy not? Because sheâd be disappointed and sad?â you guessed, eyeing him with annoyance.Â
He widened his eyes and all you saw in his brown irises was pure terror mixed with just a hint of frustration. âSheâd lecture me!â
âOh no,â you didnât even try to feign any kind of an emotion before lifting your book back to your eye level, eager to get back to your reading where men didnât trouble you with their mommy issues. âYour momâs nice. Youâll live.â
âYou could try to be more empathetic, you know,â he remarked before resting his cheek on the mattress and sighing. âWhat are you reading anyway? Another one of your historical romances?â
âAnd what if it is?â you asked.
âMy mom would tell you to get off your ass and get an actual boyfriend.â
âGood thing sheâs not my mom then. Men are disappointing and I only like the ones written by women.â
Joshuaâs eyes narrowed. âAre you calling me a disappointment right now?â
There were many words you could use to describe Joshua, but a disappointment? â not one of them. Really, the only disappointing thing about the man in front of you was that he thought your valiant flirting attempts over the past six months had been a funny joke. Even if you thought he could be incredibly frustrating, you were not immune to his charms, and everyone but him seemed to know.
Still, if there was anything you liked more than being the sole object of Joshuaâs attention, it was getting on his nerves as much as he did yours.
âAbsolutely,â you told him with a straight face but your facade fell fast at his offended grimace. You couldnât help but laugh. âOf course youâre not a disappointment. I actually like you.â
Would he pick up the hint (and was it even a hint if you were practically confessing your feelings?) ⊠?
âI hate you,â he mumbled and buried his face back in the sheets.
⊠No. The answer was no.
Aside from his wild shenanigans, another thing that frustrated you about your roommate to no end was the fact that he. never. read. his. messages. And yet, when he messaged you, he expected an answer ASAP.Â
And if you didnât reply within 2 minutes ⊠?
Your phone vibrated and rang, his contact photo bright and colourful on your phone screen. You could barely keep back from cursing under your breath before offering your co-workers an apologetic smile and rushing out to the breakroom to answer the call.Â
You took a deep calming breath before putting on your best customer service-able smile and speaking into the microphone, âWhatâs up?â
âWhere are you?â came the short reply. Was it just you or did he sound winded?Â
As if he could see you through the radio waves, you theatrically glanced around the building before deadpanning, âAt work. Like every Tuesday at 1 pm.â
 âRight,â he breathed out after a pause and suddenly you were worried.Â
The Joshua you knew never hesitated to match your sarcastic remarks with ones of his own. There was rarely any bite to his words but you appreciated that he at least tried to match your energy (or maybe you had unknowingly matched his and you were fated to meet). But this? This hadnât been a sarcastic remark.
âAre you okay?â you spoke, tone softening. âDid something happen?â
âYou know how I had that lunch thing with mom today?â he asked after a sigh.Â
You nodded before realising he couldnât actually see you. âYeah?â
âShe brought up her friendâs daughter again and I panicked andââ He cut himself off with a laugh but it sounded anything but joyful. No, it sounded frustrated and disbelieving and like he was about five seconds from a mental breakdown. You found yourself holding your breath as you waited for his laughter to stop. When it did, he sighed again. âCan you come home early?â
The answer was obviously no. You couldnât just leave your job to cater to your roommate's frenzies. You had made it a point to never ask for any unnecessary time off at all, eager to prove yourself at the office. You had only worked here for five months. Besides, you had goals and a dream andâ
âPlease?â he added. He sounded so soft, so fragile, so worried.
You squeezed your eyes shut and lied to yourself that your boss wouldnât hate you if you just told him you had a horrible, perhaps borderline ER-worthy migraine and needed to go home ASAP. Or was that too risky? Would he ask for a doctorâs note? Whatâs the other option?
âIf my boss emails you and asks if our apartment was flooded today, you tell him yes and that you almost drowned,â you finally told him, unable to believe you were about to blatantly lie to your boss, before swiping across your screen to end the call.Â
âYouâre home,â he breathed out when you stepped through the door half an hour later.Â
You found him sitting on the living room sofa. He was still wearing his best white shirt and if it werenât for the mess of hair on his head, he wouldâve looked like he had just gotten ready to go out.
You shrugged off your jacket. âI would really like an explanation.â
âYeah,â he sighed and rubbed his face. âWhere do I start? Um⊠Well, my momâs coming to stay with us for a month.â
Your jaw dropped. âA month?! Why? Did something happen to her house?â
âNo,â he seemed almost pained to tell you so. With a gentle grip on your hand, he led you to sit next to him on the sofa. âYou know how she was trying to set me up with her friendâs daughter?â
You nodded, raising a brow. âWhat about it? Was it, like, an ex or something?â
âWell, no, but,â he took a deep breath and turned to stare at the wall, eyes wide as if he was expecting something to crash as he spoke, âI might have panicked and said something bad.â
âSuch as?â you urged, leaning closer.
Getting red in the face, he really looked like the words he needed had wedged themselves in his throat and were rebelling, refusing to come out. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to make even a single sound, but you still heard nothing.Â
Your patience was running thinner by the second. âJoshua, I lied to my boss because of you. Spit it out or, I swear to god, I will make that lie a reality and drown you in the bathtub.â
The threat seemed to motivate him plenty. He let out a soft whine before blurting, âI told her I canât go on a date with Mary because weâre dating.â
This man never failed to surprise, scare and worry you. And this time you were scared for the both of you. âYou told her what?! We?! As in you and me?!â
âIâm sorry,â he immediately dropped to his knees in front of you, looking up at you with desperate and terrified sparkling doe eyes. âI wasnât thinking! I didnât want to make her feel bad and I panicked and I lied and I swear Iâll make it up to you! Whatever you want! Anything. I am so, so sorry.â
You didnât even have the words to say. Frozen in your seat, you stared at him, trying your hardest to get your brain to reset so you could discover you simply had fallen asleep at your desk and this was all a dream. Was it a dream or was it a nightmare? Youâd decide later.
When you hadnât responded for nearly a minute, Joshua gently nudged your hand. âHey, are you okay? Iâm sorry, okay?â
But when you still remained silent without even as much as moving your eyes, he quickly added, âIâll just fess up, yeah? Iâll tell her I panicked and lied and Iâll go on that date. Just please donât be mad at me, okay?â
You held your hand up to stop him. âItâs fine. I just⊠I need a moment.â
âYeahâŠâ He breathed in relief before nodding and agreeing, âYeah. Anything you want. IâllâŠI canâŠÂ Do you want water? Tea? I could make cocoa.â
âJust waterâs fine,â you told him almost robotically as you stared into space, rubbing your temples as if that would somehow make it easier to process the absolutely bizarre situation you had found yourself in because, no, unfortunately (or fortunately?) this was not a dream. This was your reality.
As he scurried over to the kitchen, you tried to wrap your mind around ⊠well, everything.Â
It felt like a cruel joke. All these months of pining after your handsome roommate, making him heart-shaped toast and pancakes, fixing his shirt collar as he prepared to leave for work, practically flat-out confessing to him â and here he was, practically throwing himself at you.Â
But none of it was real. He wasnât actually into you. It was just a panicked reaction. Heâd just thought of the first age-appropriate woman that came to his mind â it was only you because you were roommates and spent so much time together. There were no feelings involved on his end.Â
But on yours? You willed your heart to stop fluttering and pounding and threatening to beat out of your chest at the mere idea of dating Joshua Hong.Â
âHere,â he spoke softly as he placed a cold glass of water into your hand and took his seat next to you. He watched for a while as you took a miniscule sip and continued staring into nothingness, lost in your thoughts. He hesitated to speak. âI really am sorry. I just wasnât thinking straight. I was scared andââ
âI seemed like a safer option than Mary?â you finished for him, giving him a knowing look. âCâmon, is she really that bad?â
No, youâre just that much better is what you wished heâd say. Then youâd have at least something to hold onto.
Joshua offered a half-hearted smile. âMom said Mary is really into haunted buildings and ghost hunting, soâŠâ
Did that make you much better than her? Very debatable. But you were willing to take just about anything reminiscent of a win.
âSounds dreadful,â you replied, matching his smile. âSo what happens now?â
âWell,â he seemed hesitant all over again, as if no progress had been made at all. He quickly forced himself out of that headspace and met your eyes, âI could call my mom and tell her I liedâŠâ
You sensed an âorâ. Raising an eyebrow, you silently asked him to finish the thought.
He took a stuttering breath before grimacing. âOr we go on with the lie and pretend to date for a while.â
Option B is what your heart shouted. Please pick option B, even if itâs all a lie.
âA while beingâŠ?â you forced yourself to nitpick instead of immediately jumping into his arms and agreeing.Â
He kissed his teeth. âA month-ish.â
âA month?!â
âMom didnât fully, entirely, really believe me,â Joshua supplied with an apologetic look, âso I bluffed a little and she said sheâd come stay with us for a while to see it for herself and⊠I sort of agreed to let her stay a month.â
A month of (fake) dating Joshua Hong, your hot roommate, the very subject of your daydreams? You werenât sure whether you wanted to scream in joy or cry in despair.
âOkay,â you breathed out and gulped. âWe canâ We can do a month⊠right?â
âRight.â He didnât seem any more sure of than you.
âHow long âtil she comes here?â
âTwo days.â
âYouâve got to be kidding me.â
[DAY 1, FRIDAY]
Having read and watched a fair share of romantic comedies, you were adamant that there was no need for a âfake dating contractâ. You and Joshua were roommates and good friends; surely just a verbal agreement of boundaries would suffice. Youâd just tell him your boundaries and heâd tell you yours.Â
In an ideal world, that is.
But in the real world, there was a knock on the door before you could even begin to whisper about the idea of boundaries.
While sharing a startled look with you, Joshua crept towards the door and peeked through peephole.Â
âItâs her,â he breathed out and offered you one last grimace before opening the door. His voice went from tormented to overjoyed so fast you felt it give you a whiplash, âMom! Hi! Let me help with your suitcase.â
Showtime (except this was not a theatre, and you didnât have even the semblance of a script to play out, and you sucked at improv). Putting on your best smile, you stood up just as they entered the living room.Â
âThere she is!â his mother called out and rushed over to give you a warm hug. âLook at you! As good-looking as always!â
Your cheeks felt a little warm at that. âYou look great too!â
âOh, I know,â she joked and gave your shoulder a friendly pat. Then her friendly expression morphed into something more sinister. âSo, dating, huh?â
If your cheeks had felt warm before, they were positively burning now. You tried to find your voice again, even offered a look to Joshua who could only respond with an equally nervous wide-eyed look. Finally, you cleared your throat and answered, âYeah. Weâre still kind of getting used to it ourselves.â
âI always knew you two would end up together,â she gushed, smiling ear to ear and winking at you between sentences. âTook you a while though. I was already starting to worry about my Joshua.â
âYeah,â you heard him mumble, âme too.â
âWill you join us for dinner?â you asked her, trying to steer the topic away from the inevitable chit-chat about your almost-non-existent relationship.
She hummed in thought â a habit Joshua must have picked up from her, you realised â and nodded as she looked around the living room. âOf course. Let me just get settled in and put on more comfortable clothes. Where can I unpack?â
Your âboyfriendâ and you shared a wide-eyed look. This is why you never did improv!Â
âYou can have my room,â Joshua finally spoke all the while still having that very same panicked expression. âIâll get it set up real quick.â
His mother paused, confused (and was that a glint of suspicion in her eyes?). âYou donât sleep together?â
You couldâve fried an egg on your cheeks with how hot they felt. âOh, weââ
âLike she said,â Joshua interrupted, forcing a smile that almost looked convincing, âweâre still kind of settling into this whole relationship thing. Weâre taking it slow.â
âIâm glad to give you a push in the right direction,â she told him with a chuckle. âYou canât leave someone like (Y/n) just waiting. Sheâll get bored of you, and then what?â
He laughed shortly. âYeah, I guess youâre right.â
âLike always.â
He nodded before tugging on the crook of your elbow to drag you with him. âSweetie, why donât you come help me set up momâs room?â
You thanked the heavens he had enough mental capacity to not leave you alone with his mom. âOf course!â
âHelp yourself to anything you want in the kitchen, yeah?â Joshua told his mom as he reached to pick up her suitcase with his free hand, his left one still holding onto you like you were his lifeline. âCoffee, tea, a snack â anything.â
She replied with a smile and continued her (no doubt thorough) tour of your apartment.Â
Once you were in his room, he closed the door so that it was just a bit ajar as to not seem suspicious and turned to you with a look of terror. His whispers were so loud and harsh that you wondered if there was any point in pretending otherwise as he asked, âWhat do we do?â
âWe clean your room and make your mom feel at home,â you suggested, not entirely sure what he was getting at.
Joshua gave you a look that said he was holding back the urge to call you dumb. âI meant us. Sheâs taking my bed. Where will I sleep? I canât sleep on the sofa â sheâll figure out weâre lying.â
Oh. Yeah, that was an unwelcome problem. Mostly because the only viable solution you could think of involved Joshua sleeping in your room and you not getting any sleep because heâd be so close to you. What if you fell asleep and talked in your sleep, confessing your everlasting love? Worse!: what if you had a dirty dream about him â one involving his gorgeous biceps and soft lips andâ dear god, youâd never be able to look him in the eyes again. Hell, you probably wouldnât be able to be in the same room as him.Â
Joshua stared at you in silence, expecting a solution. Before you could offer one though, he shut it down with a âIâm not sneaking out to sleep on Chanâs pull-out couch either.â
Damn it.Â
âThen thereâs only one solution,â you whispered back, unable to believe your own words. âWeâll have to share my room.â
âThereâs no room for another mattress there.â
Itâs not like either of you even knew where to find a spare mattress. But you didnât tell him that. And the look in his eyes said you didnât have to because he knew it just the same and that left only one solution.
âWe can share my bed, but if you touch my teddy bear, Iâll make sure you go missing under mysterious circumstances,â you told him and left the room to get some clean sheets for the bed (and calm your heart).
The rest of a day went by in a daze of terrible half-believable lies that just kept elaborating at their own accord because of course she couldnât be satisfied with just a simple answer. No, she had to ask questions to clarify, as if she was a detective trying to figure out a suspectâs background.
And so you bluffed and lied and shared panicked looks with Joshua. Your collaborations added up to a decent backstory â at least thatâs what you thought because at least your lies were not completely out of the realm of reality.
Who confessed first? You both did, in a moment of drunken chaos at Seungcheolâs housewarming party (you failed to mention there was no alcohol provided at said party).Â
Where was your first date? A picnic at the park not too far from your home just a few short months ago (and she didnât need to know it was an outing with all of your neighbours â something not Joshua but Jihoon had organised to help the people in the building become closer).
What was your first kiss like? You had kissed him under the streetlights when he walked you home from work because youâd be damned if you let a man make the first move (in Joshuaâs opinion, this was the most obvious lie of all but he chose not to argue because the other option was to look his mother in the eyes and tell her heâd made the first move to kiss somebody on the mouth).
The little lies added up and by the end of the day, you werenât entirely sure where one started or another ended. Hell, you were pretty certain you wouldnât remember most of them the next day.Â
But that wasnât the hard part â not the real hard part anyway. No, the real problem was the evernearing night. Between the improv performance of your life and the general feeling of butterflies, you hadnât had any time to come to terms with the fact that youâd have to share a bed with your handsome, hot, absolutely amazing roommate under the guise of being his girlfriend.
And now the reality was looming.
His mother was the first to head to bed, leaving you and Joshua to stare at each other in a relieved silence across the dining table as she went about her bedtime routine. Neither you or Joshua dared to move to head to sleep next. Neither of you wanted to make the first move.Â
Sensing you were faced with a similar dilemma, he finally suggested, âWe could watch a movie.â
âWeâll have to go to bed eventually,â you told him with a sigh. âWe canât spend the whole night watching TV.â
His silence told you he thought otherwise.Â
And you were in no mood to make the first move or argue about pillow barriers and teddy bears. So, begrudgingly, you dragged yourself over to the sofa and turned on the TV.Â
He joined you soon after, two cans of soda in hand. He handed one â already opened â to you as you flipped through the movie selection.
âYou know, sugar really isnât good for you before bed,â you remarked offhandedly. âMakes it hard to fall asleep.â
He just scoffed and opened his can with a pop and a fizzle. âGood thing weâre watching a movie and not sleeping then.â
âRom-com or action?â
âAction,â he answered a little too fast before sipping his drink as if to distract himself.Â
âWe could watch Transformers,â you half-joked. âItâs got a good runtime.â
âMight as well,â he sighed and made himself comfortable as you clicked on the title.Â
As you pulled a cushion into your lap for optimal comfort, Joshua remained sitting far from you. It was funny, really â it seemed that he was sitting further from you as your âboyfriendâ than he ever had as just your roommate.Â
You wanted to blame the movie for how silent the living room had become. Only Optimus Primeâs voice sounded in the apartment, and even that was quiet to not disturb your guestâs sleep. But the reality was that something had shifted between you. You were officially stuck in an arrangement that both benefited and ruined you, and the reality was sinking in fast.
Now there was no chance to take back the lies and the faking. The only option was to keep going and keep up with your elaborate plan to trick the sweetest woman you knew, all because your roommate didnât want to date some girl called Mary and you had agreed to be his cover because you were infatuated with him.Â
How does one process this situation? Where do you go from here? Can you do this for a month without thinking too hard about it? And what happens when the month is up?
âHey,â Joshuaâs soft voice startled you from your tortured thoughts. You turned to find him watching you with a somewhat wistful smile. âYou did great today, you know?â
âWhatever do you mean?â You chuckled but it sounded pained even to your own ears. âI was just being a good girlfriend.â
He snorted a laugh. âYou can stop acting. Iâm pretty sure sheâs asleep by now. Itâs okay. â
âHow do you know if sheâs asleep?â you whispered, eyeing his â no, her â bedroom door. âWould suck to get caught lying on the very first night.â
Joshuaâs smile looked a little more real now, almost reaching his eyes as he still watched you like you were a beloved family puppy who had learnt a new trick. âShe snores pretty loud.â
Tense in your seat, still eyeing the door, you listened and waited. Before long, you discovered he was right. There it was, a soft snore accompanying Bumblebeeâs action scene. Closing your eyes, you breathed out in relief and relaxed into the plush fabric of the sofa.Â
âDo you think she bought it?â you wondered.
âIf she didnât, weâll just have to work harder tomorrow,â he replied before reaching over to brush your hair off your face.Â
You willed the butterflies to just go to sleep already and let you be. They remained relentless and you could only pray Joshua wouldnât notice how flustered his touch made you feel.
âWe just have to do this for another 29 days,â you said to distract yourself. âItâll be fine.â
Did he have to keep stroking your cheek so gently? How much hair did you even have stuck on your face? Maybe you were hallucinating and he wasnât touching you at all â that seemed almost plausible.Â
âWeâll be fine,â he whispered and he sounded to be closer now. His warm breath brushed against your temple. Maybe you werenât entirely out of your mind yet. âItâs just a month.â
âJust a month.âÂ
You werenât yet sure whether you wished it would last less or more.
[DAY 2, SATURDAY]
Three things had greeted you when you woke up: the smell of fresh coffee, the brightest sun you had ever had the displeasure of waking under, and someoneâs arm around your waist. You almost hadnât cared whose arm it was because it was holding you to a warm body, safe from the evils of the morning chill.
Begrudgingly, you had eventually opened your eyes and glanced around. You had fallen asleep on the sofa instead of your bed â a work-around for last nightâs problem if youâd ever seen one, even if it was horrible for your back. And the arm belonged to none other than your roommate who looked like an angel as he slept, resting his head on your shoulderâŠÂ
âAnd how is any of that my problem?â Chan yawned over his cup of coffee as he watched you pace around his kitchen ten minutes later. He didnât really have any plans anyway but itâs not like he enjoyed having neighbours march into his apartment to rant about their love lives (even if it was great material for the buildingâs gossip group chat which he would no doubt update as soon as youâd leave).
You offered him a glare. âYouâre supposed to be a supportive friend.â
âYou must have me mixed up with someone,â he deadpanned and took a sip of his hot drink. âWhatâs so bad about waking up next to him anyway? Itâs not like youâve never shared a bed before.â
Your face felt like it was burning at his words. âHow do you even know that?â
Unimpressed, he raised a brow. âYou did the same thing the last time it happened â ran in screaming and crying and giggling like a schoolkid.â He paused, narrowing his eyes a little as if a thought was occurring before adding, âYou actually do this a lot. Itâs a little concerning.â
âWhatever,â you groaned and slumped in the bar stool across the counter from him. âWhat do I do?â
âSeize the day and appreciate the fact that youâre dating your crush?â
âFake dating,â you corrected him with a mild glare. And you had only revealed so much to him because he was your best friend and confidant (and because you had made him swear on his life that he wouldnât tell anyone else).
Chan scoffed a laugh. âHe might be faking but thereâs no way you are. You suck at improv. Just embrace it and go with the flow.â
You stared at him. Were all your friends this unhelpful or was this just a trait unique to Lee Chan?Â
âWhy do I even come to you for advice?â you thought out loud. âItâs not like you can even get a date yourself.â
He sputtered and coughed up the sip of coffee he had unfortunately taken just seconds before. His ears turned red. âAt least Iâm trying.â
âSo am I!â you whined. âCome on, give me something to work with. Iâm in the middle of a crisis.â
âAll of which is self-inflicted.â
âI hate you.â
âMaybe, but you love Joshua,â he teased, winked, and narrowly dodged the apple you threw at his head. He laughed heartily before taking another sip of his coffee. âIâm serious though. You might as well take advantage of your arrangement. Just forget about the fake part and just think of yourself as his girlfriend. Iâm sure he wonât complain about your authenticity.â
âI donât think thatâs how it works.â
âWell, then take advantage some other way,â he suggested, appearing a little frustrated (which was fair; you had, in fact, interrupted his much needed me-time and breakfast for one). âWhat are you getting out of this arrangement anyways? He gets his mom off his back, and you? Is getting to live out your late-night fantasies the only perk?â
You stared at him. For a moment, he feared you were getting ready to hurl another fruit at his head. But then, instead of reaching for an apple, you slumped in your seat and let out a curious noise. âHuh.â
âHuh?â he mimicked, still tense in case it was a fake-out and you were going to throw something at him regardless.
âYouâre right,â you said and he worried even more.Â
He glanced towards the nearest door from the corner of his eye, wondering if it was close enough for a safe escape. You never said Chan was right â that just wasnât a thing. It never happened. He had a bigger chance of getting struck by lightning than to hear you say those two words. Chan was fearing for his life.
âIâm right?â he echoed hesitantly.
âIâm getting nothing out of this arrangement,â you said with a scoff of disbelief. âThat little scammer! Iâm out here improv-ing my ass off to please his mother and all I get in return is daydream material? Screw that!â
Across from you, Chan still wasnât sure if this was a healthy development or if he should call Jeonghan for back-up. Regardless, he decided it was safer to just play along. He let out an empathetic cheer and agreed, âScrew it! Yeah! Heâs too nice to say no anyways.â
âIâm gonna make him pay!â you decided and marched out of his apartment.
The moment you were out of his sight, Chan breathed out a sigh of relief.Â
But you? You froze in the hallway. You just had to cross the hall and demand your due payment. But what would you even ask for?Â
As your mind raced for ideas â a new laptop? a new wardrobe? â, the door of your apartment opened. As if you were cursed, Joshuaâs head peeked out.Â
âOh,â he spoke and his voice was so soft and welcoming that you almost convinced yourself you couldnât take advantage of him any more than you already were, âthere you are! We were starting to worry.â
âWorry?â you parroted dumbly.
âYeah,â he laughed and reached out a hand as if to invite you in â as if your name wasnât on the lease right next to his â, âwe were about to have breakfast. Mom made french toast.â
âOh.â You silently wondered what had happened to the woman you had been two minutes ago in Chanâs apartment. The spine you had grown seemed to have disappeared as soon as Joshua flashed you a smile. You were capital S Screwed.
Deep in your thoughts, you hadnât noticed Joshua staring at you, confused and puzzled, his hand still outstretched for you to take. He cleared his throat to call your attention and forced his smile to brighten as he wriggled his fingers as if to entice you. You sighed quietly before faking a smile and taking his hand, finally letting him pull you to the kitchen.
âThere you are,â his mother called out the moment she saw you. She was already at the table, sipping her tea and eyeing the fresh toast. âWe were just beginning to wonder where you had gone.â
âYeah,â Joshua agreed before frowning at you as he pulled a chair out for you to sit, âwhere did you go?â
What would be a convincing lie? A half-truth â at least thatâs what Joshua himself had once told you in a drunken giggle fit.
You took a deep breath and lied through your teeth, âI remembered I promised to help Chan with something.â
âChan?â She looked at you and there was an odd glint of something in her eyes. Amusement? Judgement? Suspicion. Thatâs what it was â it was clear cut suspicion and you had to shake it off before she caught onto your plan.
âOur neighbour from across the hall,â Joshua said quickly. Too quickly. You thought he must have recognised that glint in her eyes as well. âHe and (Y/n) get along great.â
She hummed thoughtfully, giving you one last glance before declaring, âWell, letâs eat before it all gets cold, kids.â
[DAY 3, SUNDAY]
You had managed to avoid this twice already. This being the act of sharing a bed with the very man who had been the main character of your beautiful love-struck dreams for the past 7 months.Â
The first time had been a lucky break â falling asleep on the sofa with a Transformers movie playing in the background. It had been believable enough.
The second time â last night â, had been less of a lucky break and more of a Joshua scheme. Whether it was because he couldnât fathom the idea of sharing even a room with you (hurtful, but valid) or because he was afraid youâd be uncomfortable (absolutely valid), he had gone to hang out with his friend Jeonghan and the newest inhabitant of the building Choi Seungcheol and didnât return until noon. And even now he was still hungover from their late-night activities.
But this time? It seemed that three was not a magic number after all.Â
Dressed in your least revealing pyjamas, you stood next to Joshua, collectively staring at the twin bed in the corner of your room.Â
The silence was deafening and suffocating you. And the butterflies in your stomach seemed to have doubled since this arrangement started.Â
âDo you think itâs too late to call Jihoon and ask for a spare mattress?â you wondered out loud without really meaning to.Â
You wanted to slap a hand over your own mouth â all these months of pining but when the opportunity is served to you on a silver platter, youâre a coward. What was it that Mina had called this?Â
Self-sabotage? Sounds about right.
Joshua glanced at the time on his phone before sighing and looking at the bed again. âItâs already past midnight. And you have work at 8.â
âOh.âÂ
âWhatever,â he sighed, blinking his eyes closed and rubbing the bridge of his nose. âIâll take the window side. You take the wall side.â
Any love-blind or anxious thoughts jumped right out your third floor windows. Why did you even have a crush on this man who cared so little for your sleep? Making you sleep against the wall? When his shoulders were almost as wide as your whole bed?Â
To quote the wise words of Lee Jihoon: Joshua? A gentleman, my ass!
You scoffed. âNo way! Last time I let you do that, you almost squashed me.â
Frowning, he shushed you and pointed at the door. âMy momâs next door.â
You rolled your eyes and continued in a whisper â because unlike him, you were considerate of your friendsâ feelings and needs â, âIâm not sleeping against the wall.â
âFine,â he agreed with a soft scoff of disbelief, his eyes widening, âIâll sleep against the wall.â
âAnd what? Push me off my own bed?â
He stared at you like you had grown a third head. But really he couldnât argue â he knew he couldnât because you had a perfectly valid point. And besides, he had lived with you long enough to know there was no winning against you.Â
âThen what do you suggest?â he asked, defeated.
No ideas were popping up. You stayed quiet.Â
After a few minutes of silence, you relented and suggested, â... Rock paper scissors?â
âYou didnât like either idea,â he reminded you.
âJust pick a side to defend. Whatever. Iâm voting I get the window side.â
âBut you didnât wantââ
âI want the window side,â you insisted half-heartedly but you both knew you were lying. There was no winning for you â not with a bed this size.
âWhy did I choose you?â he thought out loud as he lifted his hand in the starting position.Â
You almost scoffed at his words because itâs not like he actually had any other choices anyway. You were the only one crazy enough to agree to his scheme. Joshua had exactly two partners in crime and you doubted Jeonghan would have agreed to pretend to be Joshuaâs boyfriend for a month. So, really, you were his one and only option.
âRock, paper, scissors, shoot,â you softly counted in unison.
Your rock was swiftly beaten by his paper. You werenât sure why that annoyed you â you were on the losing end of the bet either way.
Joshua stepped back and grandly gestured towards the bed with a sarcastic smile, âMy love.â
âI hate you,â you told him with a groan and got in the bed before pulling yourself to the side against the wall. You already knew this would be a miserable night.Â
Your roommate chuckled and followed suit, settling on his own side. Immediately, you regretted getting in the bed with him. Joshua took up more than half of the bed, easily and even when he was trying to be considerate, rolling to his side to take up less space, he was too close for comfort.Â
Perhaps, you wondered, he wouldnât bat an eye if you got out right now and pulled an all-nighter on a report you desperately needed to work on before the morning (the report being your Netflix catalogue; Bridgerton was calling your name).
But before you could even open your mouth to lie, Joshua pulled the blanket up to your neck, tucking you in with a gentle smile. âWe can switch tomorrow, if you want. Just get some sleep now. You have an early day.â
As he closed your eyes and subconsciously leaned closer to you, you wondered if it would be so hard to take advantage of the situation after all and pretend itâs real. Would it really hurt to just forget about the âfakeâ part of your fake dating plan and just⊠lean a little closer and rest your head on his pillow instead of your own?Â
His hand was so close to yours, fingers just inches from touching.Â
What would happen if you just reached out and wrapped your hand around his? What would happen if you pressed a single affectionate kiss to his knuckles?Â
Would he smile in his sleep?Â
Or would he be appalled?
You shook the thoughts out of your head and squeezed your eyes shut. This was going to be a long night.
[DAY 4, MONDAY]
In your months of living with Joshua, you had shared more than a few breakfasts. Hungover, sick, or even after a foul fight over whoâs turn it had been to take out the trash â none of those breakfasts had been nearly as unpalatable as this one.
You could hardly look at him from across the table. Mortified. Ashamed. Certain he wouldnât even want to look at you. You avoided his eyes and he avoided yours as his mother fussed about and piled waffles upon waffles onto your plates.Â
It might have been rude to not listen to your guestâs morning rambles about the weather and the news channel, but you were still too caught-up in your embarrassment to pay her any kind of attention.Â
You knew you shouldnât have fallen asleep. You shouldâve ignored the fluffy sheep and refused the offers of the Sandman. You really should have because you hadnât and now you were forced to live the knowledge that Joshua had to gently shake you awake from his spot underneath you.Â
From UNDERNEATH you. Meaning you had fallen asleep on top of your very handsome roommate.Â
And now you couldnât even look him in the eyes again.Â
âAre you kids alright?â his mother wondered all of a sudden and a jolt of fear went through you.Â
On instinct and instinct alone, your head snapped to share a look with your âboyfriendâ. Remembering the morning incident, you immediately looked away again and feigned nonchalance even as your cheeks and ears burned (out of the corner of your eye, you saw him do the same â there went the small chance that he had thought nothing of it).
âYeah, why?â Joshua replied after clearing his throat.
âYouâre usually not this quiet,â she said and you found her looking at you with concern. âDid something happen? Did you two fight?â
âWhat? No!â you protested without really meaning to. In your head, you reminded yourself that it was just a reflex and the desperate need to fulfil your part of the deal. âWeâre completely fine.â
âAre you?â she still worried, hands on her hips as she took turns looking at the two of you. âBe honest: is me being here a problem? You seem so awkward, like even being in the same room is a chore. Did you fight because I came to stay here?â
âNo, no,â you and Joshua protested in unison.Â
You shared another look, forgetting your embarrassment now that your plan was in jeopardy.
âAre you sure?â she asked. âBecause I really didnât want to cause you problems. If Iâve done something to upset either of youââ
âMom,â Joshua assured her with a gentle smile that didnât look entirely genuine, â(Y/n) and I are fine. Weâre justâŠâ
âStressed from work,â you supplied when he trailed off in thought. âYou know how it is.â
She didnât fully seem to buy it, still eyeing the both of you with a mix of suspicion and worry. âYouâd tell me if something was wrong, right?â She scoffed as if she had realised the gravity of her words and pinched the bridge of her nose. âWhat am I even saying? You wouldnât lie to me.â
As if your morning couldnât get any worse.
âWe should go get ready for work, honey,â Joshua suddenly excused himself and you, pulling you up by the crook of your elbow. âWouldnât want you to be late to work with all those big projects you have.â
You wondered what big projects he was talking about. Your higher-ups barely even allowed you to proofread the company documents and fix typos. But the look in his eyes said he needed you to play along.
âRight, right,â you sighed and went with him, offering his mother one last sweet smile before the bedroom door shut behind you and Joshua practically trapped you against it.Â
âSheâs onto us,â he told you quietly, all the while still avoiding your eyes. âSheâs onto us and sheâs probably already setting up a blind date with that Maria-girl.â
âWasnât it Mary?â you wondered.
Joshua replied with a half-hearted glare and a sigh. âWe need to fix this.â
âBut how?â You crossed your arms over your chest, mostly to convince yourself that there was enough space between your and his body to not have the butterflies go absolutely wild. âWe just, what, kiss and make up?â
His eyes lit up and you feared for your life. âYouâre a genius!â
âShua, I was being sarcastic.â
He didnât even seem to hear your protests. âIf we kiss, she has no reason to suspect weâre not together. And sheâll be off our backs. Itâs perfect.â
The things you wouldâve done to kiss Joshua Hong and his beautiful, plump lipsâŠÂ
Joshua must have mistaken your eager expression for one of dismay or maybe fear because his eyes widened. He lifted his hands in a way that just screamed âI was just kidding, please donât hit meâ before quickly adding, âNot that I want to kiss you â Iâm sure youâre a great kisser. We donât have to kiss though. Becauseââ
âBecause weâre friends,â you finished for him with a smile that you hoped wouldnât betray your disappointment, âand it would make things awkward, right?â
âRight,â he breathed out and visibly relaxing â slumping even â in front of you. âIâm sorry I even suggested that. Itâs dumb. Youâre my friend â you shouldnât have to kiss me if you donât want to just because of a stupid scheme to please my mom.â
If you donât want to. If you donât want to. You almost scoffed in his face â he had no idea what he was saying.
You wondered what was the formal and correct way to inform your roommate that you had the biggest, fattest, most ridiculous crush on him and would sell your left kidney for one kiss â if only he wanted to kiss you back.
âWell, we have to convince her somehow, right?â you pointed out as you prepared to start doing your hair. âI doubt a hug will make her less suspicious.â
Joshua chuckled. âYou noticed it too?â
âShe was acting like she expected us to slip up and confess at any moment,â you reminded him with a quirk of your brow, eyeing him through the mirror. âWhat did she say? âYou wouldnât lie to meâ? Oddly specific, no?â
âWeâre so screwed if we donât figure something out,â he sighed and ran a hand through his hair (it took you great strength to resist the urge to reach over and give his fluffy utter mess of dark hair a pat as well).
You schooled your expression, willing the beginnings of a blush to go away, as you suggested, âWe could still do something kiss-related, you know. Just this once, to get her off our backs.â
âIâm not kissing you,â he argued instantly, ears reddening.
Why was he so god-damn difficult? Why did he have to go on an anxious mental tangent about the wrongs of kissing oneâs roommate? Why couldnât he just kiss you already?! It was his idea anyway!
You almost rolled your eyes as you came up with an alternative, âI could kiss you on the cheek when I leave. Not as good as a kiss butââ
âThat could work.â
âOkay, great, weâve figured it out,â you told him with a chuckle and gently pushed him towards the door. âNow, get out. You havenât dated me long enough to earn the privilege of seeing me naked yet.â
He snorted a laugh at that â you were half sure it was because he had, in fact, at one point seen you naked, under very different and less than ideal circumstances involving one too many shots of Bacardi â before leaving you to your thoughts and doubts and the knowledge that your roommate did not want to kiss you at all.
[DAY 7, THURSDAY]
While there was an extensive list of reasons why Joshua Hong was the most infuriating man you had ever met (and you meant this very affectionately, which your friends found hilarious), there was an equally extensive list of reasons why Joshua was the ideal man.
His looks were definitely on the list â his doe-like brown eyes, his little birdâs nest of morning hair, his bright smiles to name some of the points.
But it wasnât all that superficial. You loved his sense of humour. You liked his unlimited patience and kindness.Â
Most of all, you loved his cooking.
On most evenings, you got home from work and found your roommate beginning to prepare dinner. Heâd offer you a wide smile and ask if his plan of tomato rigatoni suited your tastes. And then heâd just let you rant about your day as he cooked, a drink in your hand.
This tradition had been briefly broken by Joshuaâs mother taking over kitchen duties. She felt it was only fair as she was staying in your apartment for free for such a prolonged time. But as much as you loved her food (which almost rivalled Joshuaâs), you just missed your daily gossip sessions.Â
So, when you got home from work and found your roommate, friend, and fake boyfriend extraordinaire sorting through ingredients on the kitchen counter, you almost cried of joy. You had so many tales to share and you were eager to listen to his stories as well (your last gossip session had ended on a cliffhanger on his part).Â
âYouâre cooking?â you asked him, leaning over to look at the ingredients, before even remembering that was not how you were meant to greet someone.Â
Joshua jumped at voice before resting a hand on his chest and taking a deep breath. âOh my godâŠâ
âDid I scare you?â you laughed at him and offered an apologetic expression when he turned to glare at you. âSo, what are you cooking?â
âI was going to just make some vegetable soup,â he informed you with a tired chuckle. âMomâs feeling a little under the weather soâŠâ
You couldnât help but melt at the implications. The grand scheme of fake dating aside, Joshua was a great son to his mother. Yet another reason to add to your ever-growing list.Â
And perhaps it was the melting of your heart that affected your brain activity because the next thing you knew you were doing the unthinkable.
âCan I help somehow?â you asked him.Â
Even Joshua was startled by your question. And you soon realised why.
In disbelief, you scoffed. âCâmon, Iâve helped you before.â
âHave you?â His head tilted to the side in a manner resembling a curious cat but his eyes narrowed with suspicion. âYou never offer to help cook. Actually, I donât think Iâve ever even seen you use a pan.â
âShush,â you told him and gave him a gentle slap on the bicep. âWhat do you need me to do?â
Looking at the various vegetables on the counter, he puffed his cheeks out in thought. Then he shrugged. âYou could help with the potatoes.â
âWhat do I do with them?â
He sighed theatrically. âThis is why I never let you help.â
âHey!â
âJust peel and cut them into pieces, okay?â he finally instructed with a laugh that suggested he did not have a lot of faith in your ability to do so. âNot too small though.â
âI know how to cut potatoes, Shua,â you told him as you got out a knife and cutting board. âIâm a big girl.â
When he offered you another suspicious and perhaps worried glance, you decided it was time to prove a point. He didnât think you could peel and cut a potato into perfect pieces for a soup? You were going to prove him wrong and you were going to make him eat his words.
It started out great. The first potato was a breeze, peeled and cut in record time. The second and third potato were a joy to turn into smaller chunks and chuck into the bowl Joshua had provided for you. While working on the fourth potato, you started sharing gossip from work and it didnât affect your task at all.Â
For a moment you were certain Joshua would regret doubting you. You were sure there was no way you were going to mess this up and make him question your cooking abilities ever again.Â
That is until you reached the last potato. It was two chops in when you let out a whimper, dropped the knife and cradled your hand to your chest.
Joshuaâs head snapped up immediately. Eyes widening in concern, he rushed to your side. âAre you bleeding?â
âYeah,â you sighed and reached for a towel to dry the blood. âItâs no big deal though, so donât worry. Iâll g0 find some band-aids andââ
âDonât get any blood on the potatoes,â he warned with a serious frown and your jaw dropped.
You smacked him with your good hand when his scowl turned into a mischievous smile.
âIâm kidding, Iâm kidding!â he laughed and left the room. He returned just moments later with the first-aid kit. âCome here, silly. Letâs get that fixed up.â
When he reached for your injured hand, you snorted out a laugh. âYou know, I can put the band-aid on by myself.â
âWho knows,â he teased all the while focusing on your wound, âmaybe youâd mess that up as well.â
âNow youâre just being mean,â you told him but made no move to escape from your handsome nurse.
Leaning ridiculously close to you, he gently applied the band-aid. When you let out a soft hiss at the pain (mostly just to mess with him), he pouted and pressed a soft kiss to the spot. âThat better?â
It was just your luck that his mother decided to come for a glass of water at that exact moment. She let out a soft gasp of delight before feigning nonchalance when your heads snapped to look at her.Â
Clearing his throat, Joshua immediately leaned away, straightened up, and offered her a taut smile.Â
âDonât mind me, lovebirds,â she spoke in a theatrical whisper and rushed over to the cupboard to get a glass. âIâm not even here.â
You fought a grimace and turned back to your cutting board. The potato wasnât going to cut itself and the pot of broth was already calling its name.Â
âYouâre making soup?â she wondered and lifted a glass of water to her lips, barely even bothering to hide a smile. âIt smells delicious.â
Joshua chuckled. âIt will be, once (Y/n) finishes the potatoes and we add them in.â
Her jaw dropped and she lowered her glass of water.Â
âJoshua!âÂ
Her voice could only be described as the dictionary definition of the tone of a mother scolding her children for getting into trouble. It sent a shiver of fear down your spine until you realised it wasnât you she was yelling at.
Your roommate offered you a panicked look before turning to look at his mother, offering her a tight-lipped, fearful smile. âYes?â
âYouâre not actually going to make your girlfriend cook when sheâs injured like this, right?!â she demanded to know, her brows furrowed into a furious frown. âSheâs bleeding!â
âSheâs fine,â Joshua started to argue but his voice trailed lower and lower with every syllable until it faded into silence and his gaze dropped to the floor in shame.Â
She glared at him and reached to drag you away from the counter by the sleeve of your blouse. âCome on, sweetheart. You can come watch a movie with me while Joshua thinks about what heâs done.â
As you made your escape from the heat of the kitchen, you glanced over your shoulder to find Joshua looking at you with a dramatic grimace. You replied with a bright smile of victory and a playful wave before joining his mother in watching Mamma Mia.
[DAY 12, TUESDAY]
As far as ways to throw your roommateâs mom off your trail go, cheek kisses were good enough for the first couple of days. You quite grew to like them and, judging by the pinks of his ears and cheeks, so did Joshua. Every morning, youâd leave for work with a kiss to his cheek, a sweet smile and prep to your steps.
Then, of course, his mother made an off-hand comment about how it seems that Joshua never kisses you and he, of course, took that as a challenge. So, he began sending you off with forehead kisses and warm hugs. You like those even more, honestly.Â
But you both knew you were delaying the inevitable. Eventually, the cheek and forehead kisses would not be enough proof of your relationship. Paired with no late-evening love-drunk giggles and movie night cuddles, the morning kisses were barely enough to convince anyone and eventually youâd have to up your game.
You had simply hoped youâd have more time to come to terms with the fact before it happened.
âMomâs starting to get suspicious again,â Joshua simply stated in a hushed tone as he helped you put on your coat.Â
Your heart dropped at the mention. When you turned to look at him, he was looking at everything but your eyes. âIs she asking questions again?â
âShe told me to stop eating so much garlic bread because it would make my breath stink,â he said while staring at the fake plant sat on the shoe rack. âThat feels like a hint.â
âWell, you donât want to kiss me, so,â you pointed out with a shrug and shook your scarf to unravel it. âJust tell her itâs my breath thatâs bad.â
âNo way. Everybody knows your breath smells like roses and vanilla,â he joked and you choked on a laugh. He took your scarf from you and untangled a knot in the middle.Â
With nothing to do but stare at him, you came up with a mutually beneficial idea. âWe could just fake it.â
âHow do you fake a kiss?â he wondered, eyes narrowing and brows furrowing.
You shrugged. âI donât know. Isnât that what they do in movies? We just have to get the angle right.â
âHow does that work?âÂ
It turns out itâs hard to answer any questions when your crush is standing in your personal space â so close that you could smell his shampoo and conditioner. Your brain stalled, blanked and desperately tried to restart all necessary systems while you stared at him.Â
âLike this?â you heard his voice say but it sounded distant over the sound of your heart pumping.
Not seeming to notice your daze, Joshua placed the scarf around your neck gently. Carefully, he tugged on the two ends of it, pulling you closer inch by inch until you were so close that you had to fight yourself to not actually kiss him. He leaned closer and closer still, his nose brushing against yours, his hands still wrapped in the scarf to keep you from escaping. If you focused really hard, you could almost feel his lips brushing against yours ever so slightly.
The sound of the coffee maker starting and a mug being placed on the counter awakened you again, harshly forcing you back into consciousness. You let out a soft gasp without really meaning to.Â
âThatâ That wasââ Joshua stammered, stepping away from you like heâd been burned and running a hand through his hair.Â
You cleared your throat. âThat could work⊠I guessâŠâ
âRight.âÂ
âYeah.â
âHaveâ Have a good dayâŠâ
âYeah.â
You couldnât find another word to say until you reached your office. There, you slumped into your almost-comfy chair and stared at the ceiling.Â
âFuck.â
[DAY 16, SATURDAY]
Brunch is meant to be fun. Itâs meant to bring joy. Itâs breakfast without the hassle of waking up at 8 am â whatâs not to love?
Well, you werenât sure you liked brunch that much anymore.
Traumatised (a bit of a hyperbole) and furious (the scientifically correct term), you walked into your room and shut the door behind you before turning to glare at Joshua.
While you had gone out to eat with his mother â at her insistence and with a promise of free food â, your roommate stayed home with the excuse of a headache and snuggled into your blankets like it was his rightful place.
âYou.â
His eyes blinked open. âMe?â
âWhy do you never read your damn messages?â you burst out but tried to keep your voice low to not catch his motherâs attention. âI sent you, like, fifty.â
âYou did?â He seemed genuinely surprised. Which meant that he hadnât even looked at his phone once in the hours you were gone. Why did he even have a phone in the first place?
Your hands clenched into fists. âWhat if I died?!â
âMy mom asking you to brunch isnât really a deadly occasion.â
âI barely survived! She asked me about grandkids!â
âOh.â
Your glare was unrelenting. You hoped it would somehow telepathically convey how much you wished to strangle him if only it werenât illegal and you werenât desperately in love with him.
âWell, what did you tell her?â he then wondered and you almost actually jumped to tackle and murder him.
âWhat do you think I told her, Joshua?â You scoffed. âI just said we hadnât thought about it because this is still new and you know what she did? Do you want to know what she did?â
He raised a brow. âI guess so?â
âShe started giving me the whole âyou donât have foreverâ and âIâd like grandkids before I turn 70â spiel,â you informed him and groaned. âIt went on forever.â
âYouâre a good actor,â he assured you with a small smile that almost seemed amused, âIâm sure you got your way out of it.â
âYouâre sleeping on the floor tonight,â you told him with a roll of your eyes.
He gasped. âBecause my mom asked about grandkids?!â
Enough was enough. You could put up with many things â your roommateâs pranks, Chanâs endless fantasies about how heâs secretly the most sensible inhabitant of the building, Joshuaâs mother staying for a month with little to no notice â but you even your charitability had its limits.
When youâd woken up this morning, your back positively aching and your joints sore from being stuck between Joshuaâs wall-like form and the actual wall, the first thought you had was something Chan said:
âWhat are you getting out of this arrangement anyways? He gets his mom off his back, and you? Is getting to live out your late-night fantasies the only perk?â
And that was when you decided that you had finally reached your limit. With a shove that was far from affectionate or fond, you awakened Joshua and declared before he could even rub the sleep out of his eyes that heâd better keep his evening schedule and a sizable number on his bank account free for you.
What followed had been a shopping trip that dismayed him and exhilarated you. You had, after all, wanted a proper big bed for a while now. Finally, a chance to sprawl out and live out your starfish dreams without the worry of falling to the cold hard ground at 2 am. And more importantly, no more being pushed against the wall like an undignified cushion every other night.
But the thing you enjoyed most of all was Joshuaâs hair getting progressively more messy and unkempt as he tried to decipher the IKEA instructions all on his own while you curled up in your desk chair and watched him with a cup of hot cocoa in hand.
âI thought youâd be better at this,â you noted passively upon hearing his frustrated sigh and seeing him unscrew what you assumed was meant to be one of the legs of the new bed. âMaybe I shouldâve asked for Jeonghanâs help instead.â
The glare he sent your way was scathing but his tone remained as delightful as always when he assured you, âIâve got this, donât worry.â
You made a show of glancing at the time on your laptop â a rerun of Friends playing in the background in an effort to entertain your poor IKEA slave of the night â and announced, âIâm just saying. Itâs almost midnight and youâve only managed to add one leg to the frame.â
He groaned. âItâs not my fault this thing is so complicated. Why couldnât you pick out a different frame? Something more easy to assemble, for one.â
âI wanted this one,â you teased.
âThe oak one you looked at at first wouldâve been better. And cheaper.â
âIf you want me to keep playing along in your little improv show, youâd better be happy I only asked for a 700,000-won bed in return,â you pointed out and took a sip of your cocoa.Â
You sighed happily at the warmth the drink provided. Oh the joys of girlhood. You thought you could get used to this: free furniture, free assembly, and a handsome man to do your bidding.
Joshuaâs lips and eyes squeezed into a sarcastic smile as he slowly turned to face you. âDonât forget the mattress, darling.â
You shrugged. âI didnât see you protesting at the check-out.â
His smile dropped into yet another glare. âThatâs called being in shock. My bank account is dying because of you.â
Without another word, he sharply turned back to his task of assembling the frame.
âThis benefits you too, sweetheart,â you replied with a roll of your eyes. âI sleep better, you sleep better, everybody benefits.â
âFor ten days,â he muttered and practically slammed two pieces of wood together now that he was sure they were meant to go together. âAnd then you have a new comfy bed and I just have poverty.â
You snorted. âIâm willing to split custody if youâre nice to me.â
It didnât take a genius to know he was rolling his eyes. âYeah right.â
âBesides,â you adjusted your position so you could nudge his back with your foot in an affectionate manner, âyou barge in here to gossip every other night anyways. Youâre benefiting plenty.â
âRemind me to never ask you to be my fake girlfriend ever again,â he pleaded.
You knew (or perhaps wished) he only half-meant it. But even so there was a pang in your chest. A feeling of sadness as the reality once again sank in. It was easy to forget that this was just an act and he had only bought you this bed because he felt guilty and not because he loved you. The feeling would nag you late into the night.
[DAY 22, FRIDAY]
You had learnt early on that karaoke has the magical ability to heal wounds and erase bad memories, even if just for one night. Tonight you hoped it would once again prove true.
The buildingâs monthly karaoke parties were organised by Vernon and Jihoon in an effort to bring the community closer together. On every third Friday of the month, the lobby of the building would be lit with stage and string lights, decorated with colourful banners and dollar store party supplies, and a small stage would be built in the corner. As was tradition, everyone brought some snacks and drinks to the snack table and enjoyed the evening, getting progressively more drunk between karaoke and socialising.Â
You thought it was the perfect solution to your problems. With the help of loud music, your nosy friends and alcohol, you would for sure soon forget your heartache and worries.Â
There was, however, one problem you had forgotten: Joshuaâs protective nature.
You had successfully managed to avoid him for the better part of the evening, sneaking between people, hiding behind Mingyuâs wide frame under the guise of playing hide and seek with your roommate (something Mingyu was very happy to help with; you suspected he just liked to feel useful), and running at every mention of Joshua.Â
Seamlessly, the karaoke soon worked its miracle. You found you had missed the liberty that came with hanging out with your friends and not worrying how everything appears to Joshuaâs mother. For this one night, you were not Joshuaâs fake girlfriend, not someoneâs pretend-daughter-in-law, and not an actress struggling at improv â you were once again just (Y/n), a simple woman in love with her best friend, eyeing him from across the room and giggling with your friends about it.
By the time you remembered you were hiding from him, you were far from sober and your thoughts were getting a little jumbled as you made conversation with Minghao, laughing between every other word because saying things was hard and your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. Minghao didnât say a word and only smiled at you fondly, like one would at a kitten trying to chase after shoelaces, as he listened to you.Â
His attention was caught by something behind you and you saw him give someone a gentle nod and a bright smile. Then, before you could even process the situation or ask any questions, he placed a hand on your shoulder and turned you around, bringing you face to face with him.Â
You werenât sure what it was about the dollar store lighting in the lobby, but you had always thought it made Joshua look even more delectable. It was hard not to stare at the shadow his lashes cast on his cheeks or the definition of his muscles visible through the thin fabric of his button-up shirt.
âHi!â You greeted him with a wave and an intoxicated giggle, momentarily forgetting about the freshly opened can of beer in your hand and letting it slosh in your hands. âOh! Sorry, my bad!â
A situation you wouldâve once thought to be mortifying only made you laugh harder tonight as you searched for tissues and began to dry your hand. You didnât notice when Joshua had taken the drink from you but you also wouldnât notice he never gave it back.
He watched you with a smile. âHaving fun?â
âOh my god, Iâm having so much fun,â you rambled, eyes shining as you looked at him, already forgetting your quest to dry the floor. âDid you see when Seungcheol and I did âAlcohol-Freeâ together? It was so much funââ
It was hard to finish your thought when he looked at you with those pretty eyes, and smile, andâÂ
He adjusted the sleeves of your dress for you and you almost melted. All thoughts gone. Words? Never heard of those.
You were silent for so long that he chuckled. âYou awake?â
âIâ Yeah, totally,â you replied, blinking your eyes to force yourself to focus again. âHow about you? Are you having fun?â
He shrugged. âI usually have more fun when youâre with me.â
âOh.â
âYou didnât even sing âBreaking Freeâ with me tonight,â he complained playfully but you thought you saw a hint of actual sadness in his eyes. âIâm glad youâre making friends with Seungcheol though.â
You hummed and nodded. âHeâs very nice. Very handsome too.â
His eyes widened and you couldnât quite figure out why.Â
Not that you even wanted to figure it out. You were, in all honesty, more preoccupied with memorising how pretty he looked with his doe eyes. The purples and yellows and pinks of the lights reflected back from the browns of his eyes and you thought it was the prettiest sight you had ever witnessed. No sunset, sunrise or wild landscape could compete with this view.Â
And you wanted to tell him that; but words were so hard when your blood was buzzing with alcohol and adrenaline. So you thought you should show him somehow.Â
Your eyes closed briefly. You leaned forward just a bit. Then your lips pressed against his. For just a moment. You couldnât help but smile as you leaned back and opened your eyes again.
If you had thought his eyes were pretty before, they were positively the most gorgeous sight now as he stared back at you in wonder and confusion. There were not enough words in the dictionary. You thought they ought to fix that problem and add a few just to be safe.Â
âThe girl who wins your heart will be so lucky,â you told him softly and pressed another gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. âI wish I was her.â
â(Y/n), Iââ he started and you felt the alcohol leave your blood in an instant, the warm buzzing replaced with a cold rush.Â
Before he could say anything in response, you ran out of the party.Â
[DAY 23, SATURDAY]
Seokmin had always heavily advertised the buildingâs monthly karaoke parties as âlife-alteringâ. He wrote that in large letters with a bright red marker on every karaoke party notice he saw and he said the exact phrase to every person he talked to in the week leading up to the event. Which was especially funny because 1) he wasnât on the advertising team, 2) there was no advertising team to begin with, and 3) he never even volunteered to help organise the events. You had concluded that he was just very incredibly enthusiastic about karaoke (and with a voice like his how could one not be?).
But you now feared he was right after all.
Upon realising your mistake, you had, for a moment, contemplated going home and hiding in your room before you realised it would be the first place heâd look for you.
So, instead, you sent a silent apology your best friendâs way and took the spare key from under the doormat before letting yourself into Chan's apartment.Â
Even as the morning arrived, you didnât dare face Joshua. Not after what had happened. Not after you had kissed him and told him you wished heâd fall in love with you and kissed him again. You could never go home again.Â
Chan looked away from his laptop screen just to give you a look with one of his brows raised. âYou literally live with him.â
âThatâs the whole point. I canât go home,â you told him, lying face-down against his thigh.Â
Turns out itâs surprisingly easy to make physical contact with men when youâre not attracted to them. You silently wondered if that could be the solution to your obvious touch-starvation problem â why else would you drunkenly kiss your roommate?
He rolled his eyes. âThen whatâs your plan, drama queen?â
You didnât answer, mulling it over in your head. There really werenât a lot of options.Â
Maybe it was a sign â finally you could fulfil your life-long dream of adopting a new identity and moving to Iceland to become an anonymous sheep herder. It sure sounded more tempting than facing Joshua Hong again.
Before you could open your mouth to suggest a viable idea, Chan beat you to it with a click of his tongue. âYouâre too poor to move to Iceland. And no, you canât move into my place either.â
There went your plan A as well as plan B.
âFuck you,â you told him and rolled over to face the ceiling. âThen what do I do?â
âWhat you always do, I guess,â he sighed and turned back to his online shopping addiction. âYou complain a bit, throw an apple at my head, and then pretend nothing ever happened between you and Joshua.â
You blinked. âDo I always do that?âÂ
âWithout fail.â
You hadnât realised there was a pattern. Perhaps this whole thing was worse than you had thought. Perhaps taking a new identity and running really was your only option. And who knows, you thought, maybe youâd find a nice man in Iceland and fall in love with a not-Joshua instead. Then youâd at least be free of one problem, even if at the expense of a new set of issues.
âInstead of catastrophizing, you should use this opportunity,â Chan broke the silence, eyes still on the screen.
You suddenly understood why throwing an apple at his head was part of the pattern. Fortunately for him, the apples were just out of your reach and you were too comfy and hungover to go get even one. âTo fake my death and go into hiding? Absolutely.â
âWhat? No!â He frowned at you as if you had suggested 2+2 was 5. âWhat is wrong with you? You need to face this whole thing head-on instead of making escape plans!â
âIâd honestly rather go missing under mysterious circumstances.â
âOr,â he started and flicked your forehead with his fingers, making you curse at him as he rolled his eyes, âyou could accept the fact that you confessed to your crush and see what he thinks of that.â
âHe looked horrified last night.â
âYou were drunk and kissed him without permission,â he reminded you helpfully. You failed to see how that information would soften the blow. If anything, it was making you feel like a predator â and not even a very clever one. You grimaced. âGive the poor guy a minute to process before jumping to conclusions. He was just surprised. If you stuck around instead of pulling a Cinderella, maybe you wouldâve found out it wasnât that big of a deal. Who knows, maybe he even likes you back.â
âPull a Cinderââ You sputtered and glared at him. âWhy do I ever come to you for advice?â
He offered a smug smile. âBecause deep down you know Iâm right.â
You were certain he wasnât. You couldnât imagine any scenario outside of your daydreams where the situation couldâve been resolved with a smile and a confession from Joshua Hong. You could, however, imagine a thousand scenarios of him running away or being so disgusted by your behaviour that heâd call off the fake dating scheme once and for all.
Seeing your hopeless expression, Chan sighed. âInstead of making doomâs day plans, try to look at the bright side of things.â
âWhat bright side?â you asked, closing your eyes and wishing the month would end already. âI embarrassed myself in front of my crush. Whatâs the bright side, Mr Positivity?â
His silence spoke louder than any words ever could have.
[DAY 24, SUNDAY]
After two nights at Chanâs apartment, you finally decided it was time to face your nightmare. If Joshua hadnât unilaterally called off the scheme yet, his mother must have for sure been worried about the state of things. You thought you owed him at least these last 7 days of fulfilling this nonsensical plan.Â
So, after two cups of coffee and a pep talk from Lee Chan, you braced yourself and walked into your own apartment for the first time all weekend.Â
It was silent. Of course it was, you thought and facepalmed: it was only 8 am on a Sunday. Just because your sins and demons had kept you from sleeping in didnât mean Joshua and his mother would be awake at this damned hour.
You were just about to come to terms with the fact when a soft pitter-patter of feet interrupted the silence. The steps came closer and you took a deep breath to calm yourself, praying it wouldnât be who you thought it was.
But you knew it was a useless hope. You had lived with Joshua long enough to recognise his footsteps and the rhythm of his snores in your sleep.Â
He let out a sigh that seemed almost relieved once he reached the living room.Â
âWhere were you?â you expected him to ask and put on his best impression of an overprotective dad.Â
âHow dare you come back here?â you half thought heâd say and glare at you as heâd shove a bag full of your clothes into your arms and kick you out.
But he just watched you in silence for a moment as if to make sure you were real and not a figment of his overactive imagination. And only once you had been pushed to the point of awkwardness where you couldnât help but put on a tight-lipped smile and a shrug did he finally open his mouth to ask, âDid you eat yet?â
You had almost forgotten what he sounded like and it was a pleasant feeling to listen to him again. The soft murmur and slight sleepy growl to his voice sounded like home and it made the butterflies in your stomach come back to life with a roar of fluttering wings, free of shame and fear.
Your smile almost felt genuine when you replied, âI was going to make pancakesâŠâÂ
⊠To make up for what I did went unsaid, but you suspected he knew they were there nonetheless.Â
He yawned in a way that didnât seem entirely real, as if he was putting on an act to ease the awkwardness. After glancing at the clock he spoke again, âI kind of want to go eat breakfast outside today.â
âOh.âÂ
You felt a little dejected at the thought but you understood. If someone had done to you what you had to him â someone you thought was your friend suddenly kissed you and confessed to you, even drunkenly â, you probably would have needed more time as well. If he didnât want to eat breakfast at home with you, it was his right. You were sure his mother was better company than you anyways.
That didnât mean it didnât hurt you though. You turned your head to fight back the tears that threatened to make a comeback. You didnât think you had any right to cry but that didnât mean you didnât want to.Â
But before you could spiral further, Joshua chuckled, âDonât worry. Iâll pay. You can get as many waffles as you want.â
Your head snapped to face him again, eyes blinking rapidly. You pointed at yourself. âYou want me toââ
âGet dressed, silly. Iâm too poor to pay for both you and mom, you know.â He could hardly keep from smiling. âBesides, we need to talk, just you and I.â
And talk you did. Or at least you would have if you werenât so distracted by waffles and a sense of impending doom. You could hardly sit still in your chair, feeling uncomfortable sitting across from him.Â
Any moment now, you thought, heâs going to say you were an awful person. Any moment now, heâs going to say it was all a big mistake and he shouldâve just asked Jeonghan to fake date him instead.Â
But maybe Chan was right and you were a fair bit overdramatic.Â
âSo about the other night,â Joshua finally started with a heavy sigh and put down his coffee cup. He avoided your eyes (not that you wouldâve noticed because you were too busy avoiding his anyway) as he searched for words to say.Â
âIâm sorry about that,â you blurted out, abandoning your waffles.Â
He paused. âSorry?â
âIâm sorry for⊠you knowâŠâ You couldnât even say the words because it was so dumb and ridiculous and shouldnât have ever happened anyway. How does one apologise for kissing someone? You forced yourself to look him in the eyes. âI shouldnât have done it. I was just drunk and dumb and sillyâ You know how I get.â
He nodded. âRight. You were just⊠drunk.â
âYep.â
âAnd you just kissed me becauseâŠâ
âI was excited to see you,â you half-lied and avoided his eyes again. âI just hadnât seen you all night and there you were and I guess I got a littleâŠâ Carried away? Lovestruck? âIt doesnât change anything, I swear. I was drunk.â
Silence. He was silent for so long that you were half-convinced heâd gone and left you to your own devices. Paying for the breakfast wouldâve been the least of your worries.
When you looked up to see if he was still there, you saw him looking down at his food. He seemed⊠sad? Disappointed? Upset with you for making such silly excuses maybe? You shuddered to think what that odd dim look on his face meant.
The butterflies that had woken up just an hour ago went back to rest, ashamed of their work. You could just hope he wouldnât hate you forever or kick you out of the apartment.Â
Finally, after what felt like forever and then some years, Joshua forced on a smile that was a little too bright to be real. âDonât worry about it. Iâm just glad youâre back. Where did you even go after the karaoke?â
âIââ You were both overjoyed and taken aback by his question. He cared. He cared and he didnât want you gone from his life. âI kind of broke into Chanâs apartment and stayed there.â
Brows furrowing and the corner of his mouth turning downwards, he scoffed. âInstead of just coming home? I was worried sick!â
âIâm sorry!â you squeaked and somehow it was the most sincere apology you had uttered today. âI was just so embarrassed and I didnât think youâd want to see me, soââ
âI always want to see you,â he argued with a disbelieving laugh. âYouâre my best friend, (Y/n). I could never be so mad at you that Iâd never want to see you. You had me so worried! I thought youâd gone to sleep in a dumpster somewhere.â
There he was â the Joshua you had fallen so hopelessly in love with. Your silly, protective, way too sweet and dramatic Joshua. And you didnât feel ashamed to be in front of him.Â
A smile forced its way onto your lips at the thought.
âWhat are you smiling at? This is serious!â He could hardly fight a grin himself, already bordering on giggling at your argument. âI was worried about you. And mom kept asking about you and I almost told her youâd moved to Iceland like you always dreamedââ
âOkay, okay,â you interrupted him with a laugh. âIâm sorry, again. You can stop being a worry-wart now.â
âOh, Iâm sorry.â He rolled his eyes theatrically. âNext time Iâll just leave you to freeze in the dumpster.â
âI didnât sleep in a dumpster!â
âChanâs place is not much better.â
[DAY 26, TUESDAY]
You had hoped that your Sunday breakfast apologies would be the last your actions would haunt you aside from the regular night-time program of nightmares. You had apologised, you had made up, and you were friends with Joshua again as if nothing had happened at all.
Had there been a small, minimal, miniscule glimmer of hope in your heart that Chanâs words would be true and Joshua would tell you he liked you back? Sure.Â
Had it been crushed to the point of no revival? Absolutely.Â
âOh, hey, (Y/n),â Vernon greeted you when you entered the buildingâs lobby after a long day of work.Â
You glanced around and noted that, as per usual, the clean-up of the karaoke party was taking five days longer than the setting up. It was only natural, you supposed, as Jihoon was too busy to bother with this and Vernon â as per Junhui and Seungkwanâs accounts â was not the biggest fan of cleaning. Today, four days after the party, he was taking down the last string lights.
âI see some things never change,â you told him with a good-natured chuckle.Â
Though it took him a moment to understand what you were implying, Vernon rolled his eyes once the realisation hit. âYouâre welcome to come and help.â
You had walked right into that one and so you sighed. âAlright, what do you need?â
He laughed. âI was just joking. Iâve got this. I planned this entire thing anyway.â
âWouldnât you rather spend some time with your girlfriend?â you wondered. You could barely wrap your mind around how people with dating lives didnât just spend all their free time cuddling and being in love.
âEllaâs fine,â he told you with a shrug. âSheâs got Rocket and Mango to keep her company.â He paused for a moment before adding, âI think sheâs probably sick of me, anyway.â
âWhy?â
â... I ate the last ice cream.â
You snorted a laugh. âMight as well send in the divorce paperwork already.â
âRight?â he joked before raising his brows. âHow about you?â
âWhat about me?â
âWhy arenât you at home, making googly eyes at Josh?â
You froze. Did he know about your crush? Vernon â the master of not noticing the things around him â had noticed your crush? How obvious had you been?
 âWhy would I do that?â you asked after clearing your throat.
He scoffed. âOh, come on, we all saw you at the party.â
It appeared the magical karaoke regrets would never stop haunting you. You cursed under your breath.Â
Barely noting your silence, Vernon turned back to the lights but asked, âSo, are you finally together? Did he finally confess?â
âConfess?â
You cringed as you felt like a broken record forced to perform, but your brain was too far in overdrive to maintain its normal operations.
âI mean, heâs been in love with you since like⊠forever, really,â he told you oh-so-casually, as if he was discussing the Monday paper or the weather. âI thought the dumbass would never confess. If he hadnât, Iâm sure Jeonghan and Seungkwan wouldâve set up a ploy to get you to date.â
And just like that you found yourself on Chanâs sofa once again. He had only greeted you with a deep, heartfelt sigh and a nod that said he had expected this.Â
As he fell next to you on the sofa, he took a sip of beer and said, âDo your thing, drama queen.â
You stayed silent, still pondering your existence and the ups and downs of your (non?)existent love life.Â
Mouth agape in surprise at your lack of complaints, Chan waved a hand in front of your face. âEarth to (Y/n)? What happened? You know, itâs good to let your feelings out. I might complain about it sometimes butââ
âVernon said Joshua has a crush on me,â you finally blurted out, staring ahead, still deep in disbelief. âIt canât be, right? Heâs probably being silly. But what if he isnât? What if heâs right? What if Joshua has a crush on me? What if he had a crush on me and then I kissed him and now he thinks Iâm gross?â
It did feel good to let your feelings and thoughts out. And now they just sounded even sillier. Why? Well, because it was ridiculous â Joshua would never have a crush on you.
Chan blinked. âVernon said that?â
âDo you think heâs right?â
He kissed his teeth. âAnd if I say yes?â
âThen why didnât he say anything?âÂ
âWhy didnât you?â
âBecause he canât possibly like me!â
He rolled his eyes and leaned back. âThere you go.â
âWhy hasnât he confessed? He couldâve told me to not apologise. He couldâve kissed me back. He couldâveââ
âMaybe heâs a coward and heâs waiting for you to confess first,â Chan guessed. âYou know, kind of like how youâre doing right now.â
âYou are entirely unhelpful,â you told him with a mild glare that one could almost mistake for fond. âI canât just confess to him. Not after what happened.â
âSays who?â
âCan you stop asking questions and help me,â you whined before practically slamming your head against his shoulder in a search for comfort. âThis is a serious crisis. Do you think he could actually like me?â
Chan hesitated. âYou didnât hear it from me, butâŠâ
âBut?â
âIâm pretty sure I overheard Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Joshua talking about you. And Iâm pretty sure Joshua said he could never live with himself if you rejected him.â
âHe did?â
âYou didnât hear it from me,â he reminded you and patted your arm in a brotherly manner. âSo I say you go and confess and live happily ever after.â
You groaned. âOr miserably.â
âIf thatâs what you want,â he joked. âBut you should still give it a try.â
âBut not today though.â
âDefinitely not today. You look like a mess,â he blurted. âHeâd have to be pretty far gone to accept your confession, Ms Frankenstein.â
He squeezed his eyes shut and tensed as if he expected you to hit him â with an apple, you guessed â and you just scoffed out something akin to a laugh.
âIâd kick you if you werenât such a good friend,â you told him instead and gently patted his cheek. âThank you for putting up with me.â
[DAY 27, WEDNESDAY]
The alarm still had a few minutes before it would go off.Â
You stared at Joshua as he slept soundly beside you. It was tempting to smooth down his hair and press a soft kiss to his forehead. But you had other things to do before you could do that.Â
You took a deep breath and opened your lips to just whisper the words â as practice for the real confession you would definitely, 100%, certainly make in a few days â but no sound came out.Â
You sighed and slumped back into your pillow. Confessing is harder than it looks in movies and books, even when heâs asleep and canât hear you.
Joshuaâs phone began ringing, notifying both him and you of the beginning of a new day. He stirred beside you. You pretended youâd been asleep this entire time.
[DAY 28, THURSDAY]
It was cold. So, so cold. Of course fate would have it that the first snowstorm of the year would hit without warning on the one day the last bus home was over an hour late. And of course it had to be on the one day when your boss asked (or, rather, begged) you to work overtime.Â
But maybe fate wasnât entirely cruel and useless, you thought as Seungcheolâs car stopped in front of the bus stop and he invited you inside with a worried smile and a wave.
âWhat are you doing out so late?â he wondered as he cranked the seat warmers up to the maximum. âDidnât you watch the forecast?â
Oh. So they had issued a warning after all.Â
âIâve been a little distracted, I guess,â you told him with a sheepish laugh before thanking him for giving you a lift and wondering, âWhat about you? Itâs not exactly driving weather.â
âEvery weather is driving weather,â he joked and offered you a bright smile that for the shortest moment had you wishing you had fallen for him and not your stupidly endearing roommate. âIâm sure Joshuaâs worried.â
You hadnât even thought to check your phone until now. Frankly, judging by its recent battery life, youâd be shocked if it had any charge left at all.
âHeâll live.â
âAre youâ I thoughtââ He hummed in thought, brows furrowing. âAre you not together?â
How you wished you were.
âNo,â you sighed. âBut I was going to confess tonight until, you know, my boss decided we needed those reports two days ago.â
Seungcheol nearly swerved his car in surprise. He was quick to fix his error â it went fairly smoothly with how empty the streets were this late at night. âIâm sorry. I really thought you were together. Heâs been talking about you so much. I thoughtââ
âApparently youâre not the only one.â You laughed. âI donât know how heâll feel if I do confess though. Maybe heâll kick me out.â
âHe wonât. No way,â he said and it almost sounded like a promise. âBut if he does, tell me and Iâll kick his ass.â
âSo you think I should confess?âÂ
âDo it. I think youâll like the outcome.â
âHow do you know?â
He shrugged. âLetâs just say I have some experience with love.â
[DAY 29, FRIDAY]
Back home, Joshua felt like he was going to go out of his mind. The clock on the wall was mocking him, moving forward even as his worry deepened.Â
It was already almost midnight. You were usually home by 7. And yet there was no sign of you.
Sighing, he fell back onto the sofa and checked his phone again. He wasnât sure how many times he had done that already. Fifteen? Fifty? Five hundred, perhaps?Â
Still no calls back. Still no sign that you had read his messages. When he tapped on your contact to call you, it went to voicemail and he almost went insane.
âIâm sure sheâs safe. Sheâll be home soon,â his mother comforted him with a gentle pat on the shoulder. But her words were hard to believe when she was staying up later than usual with him, her third cup of peppermint tea sat on the coffee table in front of them.
The clock ticked midnight and Joshua jumped to his feet. âIâm going out to find her.â
âYouâre going out? In this weather?â She didnât need to use harsh words for him to know that she was scolding him.Â
But he didnât care. He couldnât care when you werenât home.Â
So he ignored her warnings and pulled on his coat, his boots, and grabbed his car keys.Â
âIâll be back soon,â he called over his shoulder as he left the apartment. He heard her call something out to him but he couldnât be bothered to listen when he was half-certain you were buried in a pile of snow somewhere.Â
He was halfway down the stairs, somewhere between the first and second floor when he heard your voice. He couldâve sworn life returned to his veins at the sound. He sighed in relief and picked up the pace, hurrying to see you.
But then he heard another voice. Seungcheol.Â
âIf you like it, keep it,â the man from 5A spoke, his voice rich and low in a way Joshua just knew would have any woman weak at the knees. And how was he supposed to compete with that?
He heard you laugh â giggle, really. âThatâs so sweet, Cheol.â
Cheol? Joshua almost scoffed in disbelief. It had taken him two months to get to the nickname stage with you and this man comes and reaches it in less than a month?Â
He wasnât sure what this feeling in his chest was. Anger? Bitterness? No, he was just lying to himself. He knew exactly what this feeling was: jealousy. And heâd be damned if he let this continue.
Dusting off his black wool coat, he picked up the pace again and rushed downstairs to meet you.Â
The acting lessons his mother had signed him up for when he was a kid paid off now as he feigned surprise at the sight of you. Eyes widening, lips falling apart, and a gasp of air to really sell it. He ran to you from the bottom of the staircase.
âSweetheart!â he called out as he practically tackled you in a hug. He didnât even have to pretend as he held you close, one arm around your back and one pushing against the back of your head to keep you as close as humanly possible. âWhere were you? I was so worried. Are you okay?â
You had squeaked in surprise and he almost laughed. He let you go (all the while making sure to keep one hand on your back) and asked again, âAre you okay, baby?â
You seemed to be speechless, staring at him with wide eyes full of confusion.Â
Seungcheol cleared his throat and Joshua almost glared at him just to prove a point. âI should leave you with yourâŠâ
âBoyfriend,â Joshua quickly supplied with a smile he hoped came across as both friendly and venomous. You let out another squeak of surprise.Â
âRight.â Seungcheol raised a single brow before sharing a funny look with you. âIâll see you some other time then, (Y/n). And donât let your boss make you work overtime again.â
With that, he climbed up the stairs, leaving just Joshua and you.
âYou worked overtime?â Joshua wondered, visibly relaxing once Seungcheol was out of range. âHow long?â
âJust until 10,â you replied but it sounded almost robotic.Â
âItâs midnight,â he reminded you and took your hand to check if your hands were cold. He sighed in both relief that they were warm and disappointment that he didnât have an excuse to play with your hands now.Â
You scratched your head. âThe bus was late. I donât know if it even came.â
âSo, then you called Seungcheol?âÂ
The implication hurt him. He thought he was your first call no matter what happened. He had been all these months, after all. Even if he sucked at reading messages, he never failed to answer the phone on the first ring.Â
âI think my phone died. Cheol just happened to drive past,â you told him and, for once, he felt better.Â
He sighed in relief and closed his eyes, taking the situation in. It felt like he could finally breathe and think again now that you were back home.Â
âJoshua,â your voice interrupted his thoughts and he hummed, âare you okay?â
He opened his eyes and looked at you. The urge to pull you back into his arms was overwhelming. âYou had me so worried.â
âIâm sorry. I didnât mean to worry you. I shouldâve called butââ
âI canât keep doing this.â He hadnât meant to say it out loud. He really hadnât. But that hadnât stopped him at all.Â
You seemed startled at his words, not in a good way. In a way that made him wonder if you ever expected anything but the worst when he spoke to you. He had to put a stop to it.Â
But before he could, you scoffed. âWhatâs that supposed to mean? Youâre acting like I do this often.â
âThatâs not what I meant.â
âAlso, what just happened with Cheol?â He wasnât sure what had set you off, but he felt himself matching your energy, getting agitated. âSince when are you introducing yourself as my boyfriend to our neighbours? If you wanted to do that, you should have warned me.â
âI lied,â he blurted out before you could continue. âIâve been lying to you a lot.âÂ
You froze. âYou⊠You lied? What do you mean?â
He took a deep breath. âWhen I lied to my mom, when I told her we were dating â it wasnât random. I said I was dating you because⊠I guess I just wanted it to be real. I wasnât nervous because I lied to her. I was nervous because I thought youâd be disgusted and upset and hate me. But Iâve liked you since the day you moved in and Iâve been in love with you since the time you borrowed my sweater in August because the moths ate all of yours.â
âYou like me?â you asked dumbly and he actually laughed.
Joshua nodded. âIâm in love with you in a way I didnât think I could ever be with anyone.â
âAnd⊠youâre choosing to confess now?â You glanced around at the empty lobby, only a single sconce lamp lighting the way into the building. âHere? Like this? Why?â
âSeungcheolââ
Your jaw dropped. âBecause youâre jealous?!â
Joshua scratched the back of his neck and avoided your eyes. He didnât have a single excuse. He was an impulsive man. He rarely thought of the consequences or even of what he was doing in that moment. Especially when it came to you. He looked down at his feet.
âI mean,â you continued with a chuckle, âI guess Iâm no better. I kissed you at the karaoke just because I thought you were pretty.â
âI shouldâve kissed you back,â he told you earnestly.Â
You blinked. And then you blinked again. Then he saw a mischievous glint in your eye. âYou should. Right now.â
You couldnât have been serious. He didnât think you were. There was no way.
âYou canât just confess to me like this and then not kiss me,â you told him and you didnât sound mad at him. âYou owe me that much after that scene with Seungcheol and confessing to me in the building lobby, Mr Gentleman.â
Who was he to argue?Â
Taking another long gulp of air, he leaned closer. Slowly, centimetre by centimetre, unsure if you were serious or not.Â
It was his turn to squeak in surprise when you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt coat and pulled him closer to kiss his lips.Â
âSo,â he wondered, voice soft and dazed, when you pulled away, âyou like me back?â
âYou can ask Chan for proof, if you want,â you simply told him before kissing him again.Â
He didnât care to ask for an explanation. Not when he was finally getting everything he wanted.
 [DAY 30, SUNDAY]
Turns out fake dating becomes a lot easier when you just actually date. Who couldâve guessed?
The agony of sharing your bed and being pushed against the wall no matter the size of your mattress was replaced with the domestic joy of being able to cuddle your boyfriend. By the second night of dating Joshua, you had found your favourite position was letting him lie half on top of you, his head resting against your chest at the perfect angle to play with his hair.Â
The awkward breakfasts full of lies⊠Well, they still had a few emergency lies here and there, but for the most part it was stealing bites off his plate and nudging each other while giggling as his mother watched you with a mildly amused look on her face.
And the kisses. You couldnât get enough of the kisses and neither could the butterflies in your stomach, still fluttering the same as they had during your first kiss even now as he kissed you for the fiftieth time (yes, you had kept count).Â
It was only a shame that the real dating started so late into the scheme. After only two days of domestic bliss, it was time for his mother to pack her bags and go home.
Dressed in a warm coat and wrapped in a large scarf, she offered her son a warm hug, whispering endearments and gentle scoldings into his ear as you waited in the lobby. You suspected her taxi driver had fallen asleep by now. Â
She then gave you a hug as well. A short and sweet one with a warning to treat her son well. And then she added, âOh, before I forget, I left something on the kitchen table for you. Read it later, okay?â
You nodded and sent her off with a smile.
Joshua joined your side, resting a hand on your back (a new habit of his that you didnât quite mind). He wore a smile.
âWhat did she tell you?â you asked him. âWhen you were hugging.â
âTold me to stop leaving the toilet seat up,â he told you and you suspected it was only half the truth. âWhat about you?â
âShe said she left something on the kitchen table for us to read.â
He paused. âA book?â
âYou think? What if itâs a poem?â
âMaybe a letter?â
âItâs possible.âÂ
You shared a look. His motherâs taxi barely managed to leave your sight before you and your boyfriend (you could never get enough of calling him that) were dashing up the stairs to solve the mystery.
True enough, there was a white envelope on the table.
âMaybe itâs pocket money,â you guessed as you picked the envelope up. âFor hosting her or something.â
âIf it is, you should give it to me,â he told you and you werenât entirely sure he was joking. âThereâs a hole in my bank account because of you.â
âYouâre never letting that go, are you?â you sighed and opened the envelope. You were pleasantly surprised to find out you had been right â a handful of cash had been stashed into the envelope, probably enough to cover your rent for the month.
Barely bothering to hide his smirk, Joshua extended a palm. You gave him a look. Stared at him. Then sighed and placed the cash in his hand. He smiled bright and put it away in his pocket.
But the cash wasnât all. There was a folded piece of paper. A letter.
You opened it, half-expecting a scolding or a motherly warning. But this letter â as short as it was sweet â exceeded all expectations.
Sweethearts
I hope you know Iâm not unwise. I know all about your little scheme â neither of you are very good actors. Joshua, you should know better than to lie to your mother.Â
But it was entertaining and I am glad to have given you some incentive to finally take the proper steps and start dating. You make a cute couple when youâre not acting.Â
Canât wait to see you two again soon
Your jaw dropped.Â
âWhat does it say?â Joshua wondered, leaning over your shoulder to read. He let out a scoff soon afterwards. âShe can be so mean.â
âShe knew this whole time?â you cried out.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. âI shouldâve known. It was too easy.â
âI mean, I thought she was suspicious of us, but this?â
âDo we really suck at acting this much?â
âWhatever,â you sighed and put the letter down. âIâm going to sleep. I canât handle an existential crisis right now.â
âRight, letâs go sleep,â Joshua agreed, leading you away from the kitchen with a gentle tug on your arm.Â
It was only when you were stood in front of the two bedroom doors, nearly identical and stood side by side, that you paused and a realisation hit.Â
Was it appropriate to share a bed anymore? Surely Joshua would want to go back to his own room now that it was free again?Â
You almost groaned out loud: you had thought the doubts and useless problems would cease after the confession. Everything was good and great and wonderful, so why were the stupid worries back?
Having probably reached the same conclusion, Joshua seemed just as stumped. He stared at his bedroom door for a while and you were certain heâd go to sleep in his own bed for the night, ending your most favourite part of newfound domestic bliss.
âI paid for the bed,â he suddenly said with a laugh and gently pushed you towards your room, following closely after. âYouâre not getting rid of me now, sweetheart.â
âSo youâre just inviting yourself into my room now?â you joked, nudging his side before letting yourself fall onto the bed.Â
He laid down next to you, resting his head on his arm after rolling to his side to face you. He grinned. âItâs our room now.â
You loved the sound of that and you were certain he could see it on your face.
âSo what will we do with your room?â
Joshua pondered for a moment. âWe could turn it into a guest room. something tells me momâs going to want to visit again soon.â
You paled at the mention of her. âI donât think I can ever look her in the eyes again.â
âMe neither,â he sighed and leaned over to hide his face in the crook of your neck. âLetâs not think about it any more.â
âYouâre the one that brought her up!â You laughed.
âLetâs just go to sleep,â he said. âI love you.â
The butterflies went crazy. You couldnât and wouldnât fight the smile that appeared on your face. âI love you too.â
it's 3 in the morning and every muscle in my body is clenched to refrain from kicking and screaming and thrashing around in bed oh my god this has to be my fav joshua fic it's so cute and fluffy and the banter is so mwah and it captures crushes so perfectly and chan is so funny like "do your thing drama queen" pls everyone was so funny i'm gonna scream forever actually
CONTENT/WARNINGS: Explicit Language, Smut/Explicit Sexual Content (18+, MDNI), Drugs (Mentioned as a figure of speech), Mingyu and a bad case of Second Lead Syndrome, Protected sex, Dirty talk, Cowgirl, Rough sex, Possessive Seungcheol, Names (Slut, Whore, etc.), Fingering, Oral sex (m and f receiving), OOC Seungcheol (Heâs an asshole in this, Iâm sorry), Outdoor sex, Unprotected sex, Degradation, Edging, Making out, Alcohol consumption, Jennie as your rival in love, Self-Esteem/Self-Worth Issues, Objectification
WC:Â 14.7k
SUMMARY: A few blurred lines and plenty of heated nights is all it takes to have you wondering if you want to ruin Seungcheolâs life or live the rest of yours with him. (What a shame you donât realize that Seungcheolâs fine with both options.)
Hit-and run, thatâs how it goes.
Itâs what you tell yourself as you sneak out of the bed, moving the heavy arm around your waist with caution to avoid awakening the man who was still out cold. You keep your eyes on him as you pick your clothes up from the floor, keep your eyes on him as you put your shirt on and tug your jeans up. The last thing you wanted to do was to get caught leaving.
Not that you owe him anythingâyou just met the guy last nightâbut something about getting caught escaping after a night of what might have just been the best sex of your life feels extra shameful.
Honestly, if it hadnât been for the little man-eating creed you lived by, you wouldâve stayed, but you find that one night stands are much much easier to sustain. No one gets feelings, no one gets attached, and no one gets hurt.Â
But something about the way Seungcheol looks tangled in hotel room sheets has you wanting to stay, has you wanting to crawl back in and settle between his legs to give him a good morning greeting he wonât forgetâif only to get a repeat of last night.
Unfortunately, your stubbornness perseveres, and youâre quick to walk out of the hotel room, leaving nothing but the scent of your perfume and the stain of your sins on the sheets to serve as evidence of your presence.
Thatâs just how it goes, sadly.
(Seungcheol might have just ruined other men for you.)
You go through the rest of your day like a drunkard with a debilitating hangover. There hasnât been a single coherent thought to fire through your synapses, each and every single thought in your head centering itself on Seungcheol and all the things he did to you last night. If you focus hard enough, you can probably still feel the heat on your skin, the softness on your lips, the muscle underneath your nails, the sting of your behind, the fullness between your legsâ
âShit!â You hiss as the ramyeonâs soup starts bubbling out of the little pot on your stove. Quickly, you reach out to press the button, turning the stove off before youâre grabbing a trivet to set the pot on.
Frustration and embarrassment fill your form as you wipe your stove, careful to focus this time around because getting a burn from your careless daydreaming might just become your final straw. Youâre not supposed to be this hung over a man, even if said man was hung and knew exactly what to do with his winnings from the genetic lottery. You like to think that you were above that sort of thing, but the way youâre screwing up instant noodles and basic chores has you realizing that maybe, just maybe, you were prone to being dickmatized too.
Yikes, you think. Jeongyeonâs going to either kick your ass to make you forget or make fun of you daily to never let you live it down, and neither route sounds good. The worst part of it, youâll have to live the rest of your life finding someone who can outperform that stud.
Damn it.
â
Choi Seungcheol is a light sleeper.
Unfortunately, that was not the case for today because he slept through the morning and woke up with the space beside him cold and barren. The fact that heâs still boneless and breathless in bed despite the hours that have passed is a testament to just how well you sucked his soul out with the heat between your legs and the space between your lips.Â
And that pisses him off because did you seriously just hit him with a fuck-and-run? He doesnât usually mind. Itâs less work for him, less conversations, less opportunities for attachment. However, Seungcheol now minds because his one-night stands donât usually flip his world upside down and alter the course of his life with a single night of mind-blowing sex.
Fucking hell.
Seungcheol sits up, eyes searching the room for traces you may have left behind because heâs an action-taker. He isnât the type to sit down and wait for things to move in his favor, he forces things to bend to his will until he gets what he wants, and what he really wants right now is you. Unfortunately for him, there isnât a single trace of you, at least not one that Seungcheol can use to find you.
The only thing heâs got is the scent of you lingering the sheets, the memories of your pretty face, and the phantom feeling of a soft, heated body pressing against Seungcheolâif he focused hard enough, he could probably pretend like you were right there.
Itâs nothing compared to the real thing, but even the memory of you is greater than the reality of all his entanglements.
Jeonghan would probably make fun of him for being this pussywhipped, but heâd argue that the man just didnât have enough context. Jeonghan would probably end up the same way if he got to feel youâ
Nevermind.Â
(Seungcheol canât even stomach the thought.)
The next few days are spent getting over you figuratively and getting over many other womenâŠ
Literally.Â
Seungcheol seduces whatever pretty little thing he finds and prays that one of them will be enough to match you, but itâs useless. He doesnât even remember their faces or their names, doesnât remember taking them to his apartment and seeing them out. Call him an asshole, but the only thing he ever truly remembers is the disappointment because none of them have him feeling even half of everything you made him feel that night. Whatâs worse is that he can only ever really cum with them when heâs imagining you.
Seungcheol wonders if you spiked your body with drugs because why the hell did he feel like an addict going through withdrawals? It makes sense, he thinks. The indescribable high of that night followed by the lowest of lows heâs been experiencing these past few days⊠Itâs a textbook case of addiction.
He needed to find you soon before he went insane, but unfortunately for him, the only thing heâs got is the memory of your face and your name.
This was going to be hard.
(Damn near impossible.)
â
Life, thankfully, goes on.
Juggling your responsibilities as a graduate student and a teaching assistant gets you busy enough to momentarily forget the handsome man from that night. Most of your days are spent attending classes, working on your thesis, setting up microscopes, checking laboratory reports, preparing smears, checking test papers, and filling in for the professors who couldnât be bothered with addressing their studentsâ inquiries.
Itâs a welcome distraction because you donât think you can stomach the thought of spending your free time daydreaming about getting bent over by Seungcheol when you could just find another man toâ
Youâre stirred from your thoughts when one of the undergraduate students raises his hand. Theyâve been familiarizing themselves with the different parasites, and unfortunately, youâve been tasked with assisting them and turning them into diagnostic experts because that sort of job was just so beneath the professors.
Not that you mind. Identifying parasites under the microscope was leagues better than preparing Kato-Katz slides. Â
âIs this an egg?â Chan, the undergraduate student who had raised his hand, asks as he pulls away from the microscope to give you the space to view. Heâs a good kid. Sure, he struggles, but heâs honest, determined, and itâs not something you could say for most members of his batch.
âCongratulations, itâs not an artifact,â You grin as you look at the egg in view, fiddling with the fine adjustment knob to get a clearer view of the slide. âNext question. What parasite does this egg belong to?â
You pull away to look at Chan whoâs grinning confidently, âHookworm.â
âWrong,â You reply, and Chanâs quick to look through the microscope again.
âIs it really not?â Chan asks in disbelief as he fiddles with the light, the knob, the condenserâeverything. âItâs got the morula and the thin shellââ
âWow, someone studied,â You tease, and Chan is quick to affirm you proudly. âI get the confusion, but thatâs actually an Ascaris egg.â
âNo, itâs not,â Chan argues, returning to the microscope. âThereâs no way. It doesnât have the rough layer outside.â
âYouâre right, it doesnât have the mammillary layer,â You nod. âItâs decorticated, thatâs why it doesnât have the outer layer, but if you look at the insideâŠâ
The rest of the class passes by like that, and by the end of it, your social battery is already depleted. You bid the last of the students goodbye before youâre turning all the microscopes off. You needed to finish as quickly as you could if you wanted to make it in time for lunch with Jeongyeon.
A heavy sigh leaves your form when your eyes land on the stack of lab reports, your body filled with dread as you think of the long walk from the laboratory to Professor Parkâs office.
Damn it.
You steel yourself before carrying the ridiculous stack of papers, walking out of the laboratory before youâre kicking the door closed behind you. Youâre careful not to lose your balance because the only thing worse than having to carry the heavy stack of papers across the campus is tripping and making the papers fly everywhere.
âNeed help?â
Relief fills your form at the familiar voice, and before you know it, the stack is removed from your arms and Kim Mingyu is looking at you with a bright grin like a knight in shining scrubsuit.
âThank you,â You say as you straighten out your blouse. âBut you didnât have to take the entire stack.âÂ
âI want to,â Mingyu shrugs. âWhere are we taking this?â
He says we like he isnât carrying everything.
âProfessor Parkâs office,â You reply, and Mingyuâs reaction is immediate.
âHeâs still teaching?â Mingyu asks, pulling a face at the mention of the man. Mingyu and all the other medical students only had him for a semester, and they all disliked him. He reads his slides word per word, spends half the discussion complaining about his ex-wife, replies to questions with nothing substantial, and somehow he still has the gall to make the most difficult exams in the department. Professor Park doesnât have the best reputation because of it, and you havenât even added your own grievances as the TA that suffers to make up for his negligence.
âUnfortunately,â You laugh with a shake of your head. âAnd he hasnât changed at all.â
âYikes.â
On your way to Mr. Parkâs office, you spot Jeongyeon who you presume is on her way to look for you. However, when she does spot you, she doesnât call, doesnât greet. The only thing she does is let her eyes flicker between you and Mingyu before giving you a knowing look and a suggestive wiggle of her brows.
You pretend not to see her.
âThanks, Mingyu,â You say as you help him arrange the laboratory reports on Professor Parkâs desk.Â
âAnytime for my favorite TA,â Mingyu grins as he holds the office door open for you before shutting it behind him. âWhere are you off to next?â
âIâm gonna get lunch with Jeongyeon,â You reply. âYou?â
âIâve got class with Dr. Lee which is inââ Mingyu pauses to look at the Royal Oak on his wrist, â5 minutes.â
âOh my god, youâre going to be late,â You say in disbelief. Dr. Leeâs classes were held at the same building the two of you came from.
â15 minute grace period,â Mingyu grins with a wink as he begins to jog. âIâll get going. Eat well!â
âThanks!â You call out with a wave, and you canât help the laugh that leaves your form when Mingyu waves back only to trip over his feet and stumble before continuing to wave.
Itâs cute. A little embarrassing on his end, but it only adds to his clumsy appeal.
âSo why havenât you tapped that?âÂ
You jolt at the sudden sound of a voice beside you, but youâre quick to relax when you realize that itâs just Jeongyeon with her daily dose of teasing.
âGirl, no,â You sigh before looping your arms with Jeongyeon and dragging her to the direction of the mall beside campus.
âWhy not?â Jeongyeon asks, tone split between genuine curiosity and encouragement. âHeâs smart, handsome, nice, and not to mention obviously very into youââ
âThatâs the problem,â You cut her off before she can continue to dig into your brain and plant whatever seeds she's got in hand. Jeongyeon only wants whatâs best for you, you know that. âHe likes me, not just the idea of fucking me.â
âYou know thatâs what most girls want, right?â Jeongyeon snorts, stilling and holding you by the arm before you walked into the oncoming traffic. âNot shallow? No commitment issues? Rich? Ridiculously ripped?â
âI know,â You groan. Itâs not that you donât like Mingyu. If anything, you probably would haveâin Jeongyeonâs termsâtapped that, but Mingyuâs not the type to have one night stands. Heâs the type to take you on a date and hold off for months before making love. The type of guy you bring to your parents, the type of guy you marry. He is, quite literally, everything your non-committal self fears. âBut I just⊠He deserves someone who can commit.â
âThat could be you,â Jeongyeon shrugs before dragging you across the street at the sight of the traffic light turning green. âJust saying, itâs a wasted opportunity.â
âYou date him then.â
âPass, not my type,â Jeongyeon snorts. âBut seriously, you should think about it.â
You do. A lot more than you should.
The one night stands are fun and impersonal. It gives you the intimacy your body craves without the expectations and repercussions. You donât have to deal with disappointing someone, and you donât have to deal with being disappointed by someone. However, you canât deny that there are days where the same soul-sucking routine of fucking and leaving has you feeling drained, deadâa shell of yourself.
On those days, you canât help but wish for someone who would just⊠See you. Someone whoâll just hold you and love you unconditionally like thereâs nothing else in the world that matters.Â
But facing that reality takes too much work, and youâre honestly too busy to give yourself the space and time for self-reflection followed by gradual self-improvement.
Mingyu didnât deserve a work-in-progress. You may be known for your maneating ways, but you still have morals, and you werenât about to seriously fuck up one of the few genuinely nice men that walked the surface of this earth for a nightâhell, youâd do it in broad daylightâof pleasure.
Even if he looked that good.
(Even if his attitude was even better.)
âWhereâd you go last Friday?â Jeongyeon asks before taking a spoonful from her bowl. âI mean, Iâm used to it, but you went completely silent over the weekend, so I was a little worried.â
You grin at her, âDo you really want to know?â
Jeongyeon, already used to your antics, only rolls her eyes before responding, âAnother conquest?â
âYup,â You reply, the grin on your race unwavering even as you chew through your japchae. âIâd probably ask him to do itâwell, meâagain if I had his number.â
âWas he that good?â Jeongyeon raises a brow in question to which you only nod enthusiastically. âI thought you didnât go for seconds?â
âWell his dick game was so good it deserves seconds,â You shrug, taking another clump of japchae between your chopsticks. âAnd he had such a pretty face too.â
âWait, who even is this?â Jeongyeon asks, setting her utensils down to look at you straight.
âThatâs the problem,â You whine in complaint. âI donât know who he isâwell, I know his name, but thatâs it. I donât even know if heâs from here.â
Jeongyeon eyes you warily, âAre you seriously going for seconds?â
âWhy not?â You shrug, and Jeongyeon gives you a look. âOkay, I know what I said, but Seungcheol doesnât really seem like the type to get attached.â
âYou donât know thatâwait, sorry, who?â
Itâs your turn to eye Jeongyeon with caution, âWhat do you mean who?â
âYou said a name,â Jeongyeon clarifies casually, but you can tell thereâs something more to it. âWhatâs his name?â
ââŠSeungcheol,â You answer, and you swear you see Jeongyeonâs eye twitch. âChoi Seungcheol.â
âOh fuck no,â Jeongyeon buries her face into her hands with a groan. Anyone walking past would be able to tell that sheâs frustrated. âY/N, holy shit, you need to fix your taste in men.â
âWhy?â
âHeâs a whore,â Jeongyeon replies.
âAnd Iâm not?â You ask, amused.Â
âYou are, but youâve got principles,â Jeongyeon answers immediately, no hesitation, not even a hint of denial. âYou donât let the men get attached, but him? He fucks for as long as he can get away with it then discards when it gets too real.âÂ
âDo you know him?â You ask, suddenly very invested. An opportunity for round two was presenting itself indirectly, and you were not about to let it go to waste. You donât want your men attached, he doesnât like his women attachedâyou guys are a match made in non-committal heaven.
âWeâre classmates,â Jeongyeon sighs like even just the thought of Seungcheol is enough to drain her. âHeâs in law too, and I admit heâs great at that but⊠Heâs not exactly boyfriend material.â
âGood thing Iâm not looking for that,â You shrug with a grin. âThink you can get me his number?â
âHow about you just kill me instead?â Jeongyeon deadpans, and youâre quick to laugh. Damn, she must not really like him at all. âY/N, you deserve better than that.â
âWho, Mingyu?â
âYes!â
âBut I like men that look like they can fuck up my life,â You pout jokingly. You donât like them. Somehow they always just found their way to you until you gave up on the idea of decent men.
Jeongyeon only groans, sighs, and soundlessly screams into her hands in a little crashout session before she looks straight at you and says, âThen youâve got the right guy.â
âSo are you helping me?â
âNo.â
Jeongyeon, true to her words, does not help you secure round two with the handsome stranger. You donât push. Itâs clearly a bad idea, and maybe this was the universe's way of keeping you from pursuing said bad idea.
When you get to your apartment, however, you consider calling Jeongyeon or maybe even going straight to her apartment just to beg.
Because this was definitely not it.
Your lovely neighbor, for some godforsaken reason, has been fucking girls non-stop. You donât know who they are, but youâre used to them bringing a girl every once in a while, your ears occasionally assaulted by a womanâs moans in the middle of the night. You donât ever hear your neighbor, nor do you ever see them, but you think itâs better that way.
Especially now that they seem to be banging a new chick every night.
You get it, you really do. Sometimes someoneâs just gotta release a little pent-up frustration, but everyday? It doesnât help that you havenât fucked anyone since Seungcheol, so couple that with the sounds of sex through the walls and youâve got one sexually frustrated maneater.
Thatâll have to change.
[You]: Oppa, are you up?
[Soonyoung]: ???
[Soonyoung]: am i finally getting my soul sucked by the campus succubus
[You]: Didnât think youâd even know what that is.
[Soonyoung]: keep going, iâm close
[You]: ???
[You]:Â Nevermind.
[Soonyoung]: NOOOO
[Soonyoung]: come back
[Soonyoung]: iâll behave D:
[You]: Can I come over?
[Soonyoung]: ABSOLUTELY
Itâs a little shameful to be walking out at 10 PM for dick, but youâre frustrated, and among the many men on your roster, Kwon Soonyoung was the closest. He did live in the building across your street, after all.
The only reason you havenât taken him for a full ride is because you didnât have the time. Heâs good-looking, and his weird tiger obsession is easily overpowered by the fact that he could dance really really well, and you know what they say about dancersâ hipsâ
(The rumors are true. Soonyoung did make you cum from dry-humping in a dingy club somewhere.)
Before you know it, the clock on Soonyoungâs wall reads 3 AM, and the man is passed out on the bed beside you like you drained him dry of everything. Like every other time, you get on your feet, pick up your clothes, get dressed, and walk out without looking back.
The same vicious cycle persists.
But everything, everyone, has a breaking point.
You reach yours on a Friday night right after having to sit through a Zoom meeting and your neighborâs debauchery at the same time. The stress and frustration mix and course through your veins, driving you to walk out of your unit and banging on the door of the one beside it.
Youâve had enough.
Arms crossed, feet tapping impatiently, anyone walking past would be able to tell that you were pissed. Youâve put up with your neighborâs insensitivity for two weeks, and you refused to go through another week of listening to their escapades while you worked away like a slave of the academeâ
The door swings open.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
âYes?â
Choi Seungcheol stands before you, upper half bare and joggers clinging haphazardly on his hips. Even if no one else could hear him, just one look at his disheveled form would be enough to know what activities heâs been up to.
Some part of you is a little pissed. He had you frustrated for who knows how long while he went off and fucked a new woman every night? Good for him.
(Asshole.)Â
âCan you keep it down?â You donât mean to sound bitter, but you canât help it. âThe walls are thin.â
âSorry,â Seungcheol says, but he doesnât look sincere at all. You donât know if youâre imagining it, but thereâs a hunger mixed in with the recognition in his eyes. âI didnât realize.â
âWell, now you know, so keep it down,â You say with a roll of your eyes before turning on your heel and walking back to your unit.
âWait, Y/Nââ
The sound of your name has your hand on the door pausing, your head turning towards Seungcheol whoâs stepped halfway out of his apartment.
âIf the sound bothers you,â Seungcheol starts, and you raise a brow. âYou could always take her place instead.â
You flip him off before entering your unit and slamming the door shut.
Asshole.
The rest of the night is, surprisingly, quiet, and the week that follows it is just as silent.
Itâs a welcome change, really. You donât have to spend your nights squirming and struggling to sleep while your lovely neighbor gave some woman the fuck of her life. Youâre honestly thankful because you donât think you can stomach listening to the sounds now that you know whoâs causing it.Â
Youâve been in that place once, and making that much noise is extremely valid but damn.
That shouldâve been you.
âYou could always take her place instead.â You wonder if his offer still stands. Itâs practical, if you think about it hard enough. As long as the boundaries were clear and no one had any plans of getting attached, youâd basically have dick-on-the-go anytime you needed it considering that you literally lived next to him. Just thinking about it has heat pooling between your legs, has you wanting to get out of this shitty fast food restaurant and find some poor soul to suck.
âIs this seat taken?â
After days of not hearing from your neighbor, he shows up, holding a tray of food and looking absolutely scrumptious in a polo shirt. The sleeves are fighting for their life, straining against the fabric in a way that has your mouth watering.
âNo,â You shake your head, and you watch as Seungcheol sets his tray down and takes the seat across from you.
âI didnât know you studied here,â Seungcheol says, motioning towards your ID lace.Â
âNow you know,â You shrug, eyes flickering down to Seungcheolâs ID lace. âI didnât know you studied here either.â
Itâs a lie. A really big lie considering that Jeongyeon literally told you about it, but you were not about to feed this manâs ego that was probably already massive. Itâs not an unfair assumption. Law student? Designer clothing? A serious case of âpretty boy faceâ? And one hell of a stroke game? Youâd be more surprised if he didnât have an ego.
âI do. Law,â Seungcheol says. âIâm surprised we havenât seen each other on campus. I definitely wouldâve remembered you if we did.â
You ignore the suggestion in his tone. âIâm at the medical building most of the time. Thatâs probably why.â
The humanities and sciences buildings were at opposite ends of the campus, and itâs something you and Jeongyeon have had to suffer through, having to walk so far just to get a glimpse of the other. They were two different worlds separated by grass, walkways, and other administrative buildings.Â
âMed school?â Seungcheol asks, and you donât miss the way his eyes flicker down. âWhy aren't you in scrubs like the rest of them?â
âBecause Iâm not in med school,â You reply. âIâm just taking my masters.â
âFor what?â Seungcheol asks as he continues to eat like the two of you arenât eye-fucking each other over lunch.Â
Itâs stupid, it really is. Itâs clear that small talk is the last thing either of you want to be doing, but neither of you are initiating anything. Not that you could actually initiate anything considering that you two were in public, but still. If Seungcheol dragged you into a bathroom stall somewhere and bent you over, you would not be complaining at all.Â
Seriously.
âMedical Microbiology,â You answer, and the words practically send a shiver down your spine as you think of all the writing and lab work you needed to finish. That thesis wasnât going to do itself after all.
âSounds tough,â Seungcheol remarks with a mild grimace.
âCanât be any worse than having to argue with other people to pass your classes,â You joke, and Seungcheol is quick to chuckle.
âI get by.â
The rest of lunch passes by like that, and Seungcheolâs so good at carrying the conversation that you forget about your initial expectations. Heâs funny, listens well, and if the two of you didnât have history, youâd probably consider turning him into a friend. Unfortunately, you do have history, and you think itâs too late to turn whatever this is into a friendship when you already know what he looks like between your legs.
(Friends donât fuck.)
âOh shit, itâs almost 1:00,â Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when you get a glimpse at your watch. âIt was nice talking to you, but I really need to get goingââ
âIâll walk you,â Seungcheol says, mirroring your hurried movements as he cleans up his and your tray while he grabs his bag. âMy class isnât until 2:00, anyway.â
You quickly protest, but you follow him anyway as he throws the trash and sets the tray with all the other used ones. âYou donât have toââ
âCome on, youâll be late,â Seungcheol says, not giving you any time to protest as he grabs your hand and starts dragging you out of the restaurant.
His touch is electrifying.Â
The warmth from his hand bleeds into yours, and the afternoon sun has nothing on the heat that lingers between your palms. Itâs innocent, casual, and you shouldnât be this bothered, but you are.
You donât let him know that though.
âGetting a little too touchy, no?â You tease when your pace finally matches Seungcheolâs.
Seungcheol only raises his brow at you, a smirk playing on his lips before heâs leaning down to whisper into your ear, âIn case you forgot, weâve done worse.â
Finally, you think, excitement pooling in your gut at Seungcheolâs words. Let the small talk die and let the real fun begin. If you played your cardsâand this manâright, then youâll probably get him under you in no time.
âMaybe I just need a reminder,â You reply coyly, pressing closer against Seungcheolâs arm as you walk. You donât miss the way his eyes flicker down to where your chest presses against him, and you definitely donât miss the way his eyes drag up with a hunger that should only be reserved for more⊠Private places.
âWhat time does your class end?â Seungcheol asks, smirk long gone. Itâs an innocent question, itâs something you and your friends ask each other all the time when you need to align your schedules for a hangout, but it sounds different coming from Seungcheol.Â
â3:00, but Iâve got lab until 6:00,â You reply.
âI finish class at 5:30,â Seungcheol says, and the pool of excitement in your stomach quickly doubles into an ocean of anticipation as the two of your pause in front of the building. âWanna get dinner later?â
âJust dinner?â You ask as you withdraw from Seungcheolâs hold, and you donât even bother hiding the clear attempt to seduce that bleeds into your tone.Â
Your words have Seungcheolâs eyes darkening, his jaw clenching as he holds you still by the hand before you can get further away.
âThatâs for you to find out,â Seungcheol smirks before letting go of your hand and nudging you forward by the small of your back. âGo on, pretty girl. Youâre gonna be late.â
âSee you later, Cheol,â You wave before turning your back on the man walking in, making sure to add an extra sway in your hips.
âSee you.â
Dinner does not happen.
When you walk out of the building, itâs 6:15 PM, and Seungcheol is already there, leaning against the wall with one hand in his pocket and the other scrolling aimlessly through his phone.
âSorry,â is the first thing you say as you approach him. âI had to close the lab.â
âItâs fine,â Seungcheol says as he pushes himself off from the wall and grabs your hand. âWhere do you wanna eat?â
âCan we skip that?â You ask. Beating around the bush was the last thing you wanted to do after hours of mixing and pipetting. Itâs been a long day, and you just needed to get railed. âYou and I both know where this is leading to anyway.â
âStraightforward, I like that,â Seungcheol chuckles as he begins guiding you to a motorcycle parked on the side. âMy place or yours?â
Your answer comes quicker than you intended it to, but you honestly could not care less, âYours.â
Seungcheolâs lips are hot against yours before he parts from you and pushes you onto his bed. Youâre only given a moment to breathe before heâs crawling on top you and capturing your lips in another hungry kiss that has you squirming underneath him.
âYouâre a little too clothed for this, no?â Seungcheol whispers against your lips, and you only smirk at him.
âTake it off then,â You reply before pecking Seungcheolâs mouth and taking him into another heated kiss.
Seungcheol only groans and reciprocates for a second before heâs pulling away and tugging at your shirt. He doesnât waste any time, doesnât give you the chance to help him out as he strips you down to your underwear.
âYou wear this shit to class?â Seungcheol says in disbelief as he pulls at the lace, watching with dark eyes as it snaps back against your skin.
âI do my laundry on Saturdays,â You grin. âWanna see it from the back?â
âLater,â Seungcheol says as he takes his own shirt off before leaning down and reaching for you chest. âLet me enjoy these first.â
Itâs the only warning you get before Seungcheolâs pulling the cups of your bra down and wrapping his mouth around a nipple.
The contact has your back arching into him, the pleasure only magnifying when Seungcheol starts kneading one breast as he sucks on the other one in his mouth.Â
âCheolââ Your call of his name is interrupted by a gasp when you feel Seungcheol grind his clothed hips against your core. The denim rubs roughly at your heated core, and the thin lace does nothing to dull the sensation.Â
The man continues to thrust his clothed hips against yours as he alternates between your breasts. Each action only makes you wetter and wetter until your slick saturates your panties and starts staining Seungcheolâs pants.
Fuck, you needed him in you.
âCheol, fuck me,â You moan out as Seungcheol nips at the flesh of your breast. âNeed you inside me.â
âHow badly, baby?â Seungcheol asks as he sucks bruises all over your chest.Â
âDonât make me beg because I wonât,â You huff, pushing at Seungcheol. âIf you donât do it, I know plenty of other guys who willââ
âTsk, so impatient,â Seungcheol remarks before pulling away to tug his bottoms down. âI gotta prep you.â
âIâm wet enough, just stick it in,â You whine, but the complaint is quick to die when Seungcheolâs cock springs free.
âHave it your way then,â Seungcheol snorts before he opens his bedside drawer and pulls out a packet that he promptly rips open and rolls onto his cock.
A loud moan breaks free from your lips when Seungcheol sinks into you, stretching you on his cock with a deep groan rumbling from his chest.
âFuck,â Seungcheol moans when he moves his hips to give you shallow, experimental thrusts as he tries to bury himself deeper into your heat. âYou feel so good, shit.â
âMove, Cheol,â You whine, hands coming up to hold onto Seungcheolâs shoulder.Â
âLet me savor this, baby,â Seungcheol groans, falling forward and bracing himself with his forearms as he presses his forehead against yours. âYou donât know how long Iâve been waiting to feel your cunt again.â
The words immediately send tingles down your spine, your walls clenching and giving your satisfaction away involuntarily. Itâs strange how easily Seungcheol turns you on, strange how the smallest things have desire sparking inside you, the smoke and haze clouding your mind until you can no longer think straight.
âYeah?â You moan in response, arms coming up to wrap around Seungcheolâs neck. âYou seemed to be having enough fun without me though, no?â
âJealous? Donât be,â Seungcheol smirks, hips easing into slow, deep strokes that have his cock rubbing at all the right spots in torturously pleasurable drags. âI thought of you every time.â
Itâs the sex talking, you know that, but fuck, did the confession do wonders for your ego. It has you grinning, has you arching into Seungcheolâs body with a whine as you take his thrusts like a champ.Â
âYou say that to all your girls, Cheol?â You tease, fingers dragging down his back to adorn the wide expanse with red lines.Â
Seungcheol only shivers under your touch, hips bucking into you at the feeling as he swears under his breath. âOnly the ones with a pussy this good.â
You take Seungcheolâs face into your hands, tongue darting out to lick into his mouth as he thrusts in and out of you at a faster pace. The moans that fall from your mouth are quickly swallowed by Seungcheolâs hungry kiss, the man practically stealing your breath and soul away with every thrust that has your toes curling and your back arching.
Only Choi Seungcheol can fuck you this good.
âIâm close,â You breathe out, pulling Seungcheol closer to your body. âCheol, please.â
âShh, Iâll get you there,â Seungcheol hushes into your ear before heâs pressing kisses against the side of your face. Holy fuck, this must be why Jeongyeon warned you. Itâs easy to get attached when youâre being treated like this, and you have no doubt that Seungcheol probably has a long line of broken hearts behind him if he treats every woman heâs bedded the way heâs treating you now. âJust take it, baby. Take my cock like a good girl, hm?â
âFuck!â You cry out, pussy clamping down at the manâs words. Itâs a little embarrassing that itâs the little praise thatâs pushing you off the edge, but you couldnât care less. Not when you could feel the coil in your stomach growing tighter and tighter. âShit, Cheolââ
Your high hits you violently, vision going white and mind going blank as an intense pleasure radiates throughout your body. Itâs even better than the first time Seungcheol made you cum, and the only thing you can do is moan and whine loudly as Seungcheol chases his high.
âShit, youâre too tightââ Seungcheol chokes on his moans as he begins to drive his hips in and out of you with abandon, each stroke firing signals of pleasure that have your brain turning into mush. âFuckââ
You can practically feel the breath knocked out of you when Seungcheol buries himself to the hilt, body falling on top of you as he moans and groans into your ear. The sounds are so primal, so raw against your ear that it has you clenching tighter around Seungcheol like youâre trying to drain his cock dry of everything.
The night doesnât end there.
The moment you two recover from the first, youâre pushing Seungcheol onto his back.
âFuck, youâre insatiable,â Seungcheol breathes out with a laugh that quickly turns into a moan when you sink down on him. âCome on, baby. Show me what youâve got.â
And show him you do.
You move your hips in slow circles, hands splayed across Seungcheolâs bare chest as you watch the man fall apart underneath you.
Seungcheol looks ruined underneath you, a flush spread across his cheeks as he moans from your ministrations. You watch his strong chest rise and fall in uneven breaths, watch his stomach clench and shift as you work your magic on his cock.Â
âThatâs it,â Seungcheol hisses as he throws his head back against the pillows, hips bucking involuntarily underneath you when you drag your nails down his chest.
You need him absolutely ruined and covered in you.
When Seungcheol reaches for your hips, you grab his hands and pin him by the wrists on either side of his head.
âNo touching,â You grin, watching as Seungcheolâs eyes grow dark at your actions.Â
âMinx,â Seungcheol says through gritted teeth, but he doesnât break free from your hold. You know heâs indulging you because given the difference in strength and size, Seungcheol could easily flip the entire dynamic and have you crying on his cock. âDonât complain when you get tired.â
Was that a challenge?
You lean down to press kisses all over Seungcheolâs skin, sucking bruises onto the pale expanse as you raise your hips up and down. The man is a wreck underneath you, moaning loudly with no regard for anyone outside or beside his unit who could hear. Heâs loud, and youâre honestly surprised you havenât heard him during all those nights he was fucking one woman after the other.
âGod, these hips, fuck,â Seungcheol groans as you bounce up and down on his cock, hands toying with your nipples as you whine at the sensation of Seungcheolâs cock reaching so much deeper inside you. âSo fucking wet, so fucking tight, so fucking hotâshit!â
Seungcheol groans when you clamp down hard on his cock, and you think he might have reached his limits because the next thing you know, the world flips and youâre on all fours, Seungcheol pistoning in and out of you desperately while you claw at the sheets.
âCheol, slow downââ You cry out, but Seungcheol only stuffs his fingers inside your mouth.
(Fucking hell, heâs your perfect match.)
âI let you have your fun, pretty girl,â Seungcheol rasps into your ear as he presses his chest against your back and drives his hips deeper into your wetness. âLet me have mine.â
The pace he set is rough, but it only has you smiling, has you clutching onto the pillow for dear life while your eyes cross and your toes curl from the sensation of Seungcheol fucking you brainless.
He fucks you like he wants to embed himself into you, fucks you like he wants to become a part of you. Seungcheol whispers filth into your ear as he takes you, fingers rubbing torturously on your clit while his punishing strokes push you closer and closer to the edge.
âFucking love this pussy,â Seungcheol groans. âIâm not letting you go after thisâshit. When you need cock, you come to me, okay? Iâll fuck you, baby. Iâll fuck you so good.â
You donât respond, too lost in the pleasure.
âSay it, pretty girl,â Seungcheol mumbles against your ear, tone deceptively soft like his thrusts arenât harsh. âSay youâll come to me. Tell me this pussyâs all mine or I wonât let you cumââ
âItâs yours!â You cry out. Itâs the sex talking. Itâs your proximity to the edge and the desperation to fall off it that has you speaking like this. âThis pussyâs all yours to fuck, all yours to takeâshit, Cheol! There, right thereââ
âThatâs right,â Seungcheol groans, continuing to hit the spot that has you shaking and moaning like a whore. You feel like a college girl getting her first taste of a good dicking down, holy shit. âOnly I can fuck you this good, so you come to me.â
âCheol, cumming!â
Itâs the only warning you give Seungcheol before you cum, the world going dark as your mouth falls open into a soundless scream. It feels like the world stopped for that moment, all the air stolen from you as your body is overcome by a white hot pleasure that has you seizing before becoming a boneless mush of satisfaction underneath Seungcheol.
The man shortly follows, moans of your name falling from his lips before heâs stilling and soaking the entirety of this cock with your heat. Heâs so deep inside your guts that you can feel him in your throat, and itâs the only sensation you can register as you both try to come down from the high.
When Seungcheol pulls out, heâs quick to collapse beside you. Thereâs a fucked out grin on his face as he pulls you in, satisfaction lining every inch of his face as he breathes you in and nuzzles into your form.
âYouâre going to kill me,â Seungcheol breathes out, nosing at your temple with a smile. âYour cunt should come with a warning.â
The words have you laughing, nuzzling happily into the manâs chest as you throw a leg around him and wrap an arm around his waist. âThat good, Cheol?â
âThat good,â Seungcheol confirms, hand rubbing up and down your bare back. Itâs quiet for a few seconds before he speaks again. âAre you hungry?â
Almost as if on cue, your stomach rumbles, and you can only smile sheepishly at Seungcheol as he reaches for his phone on the nightstand and opens a food delivery app.
âWhat do you wanna eat?â Seungcheol asks as he turns the screen in your direction, thumb scrolling through the little catalogue.
Itâs a little intimate, you think, to be wrapped in Seungcheolâs arms while he scrolled through his phone to order food for the two of you. The entire scene is domestic, completely opposite to the way you usually run after satisfying the carnal need in your body.
You donât dwell on it.
Just enjoy it, you reason. Itâs not like youâre going to get attached after a cuddling session. This was you getting your dose of affection after years of being deprived. Itâs no different from getting sex.
âThat,â You point at the japchae. âI need to stock up on my carbs after what we just did.â
Seungcheol only laughs, ordering two of the japchae and adding chicken before finalizing the order and shutting his phone off.Â
â30 minutes,â Seungcheol informs you before wrapping his arms around you. âThink I can sneak in round three?â
âYouâre insane,â You laugh, swatting at Seungcheolâs bicep.
Seungcheol only laughs, but you donât miss the way his hands trails lower and lower, ghosting over your waist, your stomach, and your thighs before his fingers are brushing against your cunt.
His fingers dip into your cunt, and youâre immediately biting your lip to suppress the moan that threatens to break free.
âOpen that mouth, pretty girl,â Seungcheol whispers into your ear as he rubs circles between the lips of your cunt. âLet me hear you.â
âCheol, the foodââ
âWeâll be done by then,â Seungcheol murmurs, fingers finding your clit. âIâm just getting my appetizer.â
The next thing you know, Seungcheolâs lapping at your heat, fingers pushing your thighs closer to his head while he dips his tongue in and out of your sopping hole. You can only moan, Seungcheolâs name falling from your lips while you run your fingers through his hair.Â
The man gets you to cum twice before the food comes.
Walking to Seungcheolâs kitchen is a challenge, and you almost feel like a suspicious driver that was pulled over by the cops to prove her sobriety, and honestly, if that was the case then you were failing. The orgasms Seungcheol gave you have you existing on a different plane, your body suspiciously light and your legs treacherously shaky as you walk to Seungcheol whoâs placing the boxes on the table.
âIs that my shirt?â Seungcheol asks when his eyes fall on you.
âYeah, sorry. Itâs the first thing I grabbed,â You reply, taking a seat across from Seungcheol and grabbing a pair of chopsticks.
âDonât be. It looks good on you,â Seungcheol says casually before pushing the japchae towards you. âEat up.â
Fuck, how did those girls survive this?
A beast in the sheets, a gentleman in the streetsâSeungcheol is every womanâs wet dream come to life. Heâs being so attentive that if you werenât so desensitized to the idea of love, youâd be tripping all over your feet because of this man.
You and Seungcheol eat in a comfortable silence, the desire pushed aside to satisfy the physiological hunger the two of you neglected in favor of doing other⊠Activities.Â
Seungcheol looks like the prime example of âboyfriend materialâ as he sits across from you. His hair is messed up, his cheeks are puffed out, and there are traces of red lines and blotches peppered all over his bare chest all thanks to you.
âI was serious, by the way,â Seungcheol says, looking you dead in the eye.
âAbout what?â You ask before shoving more japchae into your mouth.
âAbout you coming to me,â Seungcheol replies, and youâre quick to still. This is not good, not good at all. You swear to god if heâs getting attachedâ
âNo strings attached,â Seungcheol says, and the tension is quick to leave your body. âI donât know about you, but I think weâve got chemistry.â
You canât deny that, so you only nod and chew.
âAnd you literally live next door, so itâs convenient, no?â Seungcheol continues, and you hate that his little pitch is convincing you to actually considerânot even consider, agree.
âSo like a friends with benefits sort of thing?â You clarify. You needed to be on the same page because dealing with feelings, commitment, and all those stupid things was the last thing you wanted to do when you already had so much on your plate.
âYeah,â Seungcheol nods.Â
âCan we still fuck other people?â You ask, and you donât know if youâre imagining it, but you swear you saw a flicker of something a little bit like anger in Seungcheol's eyes.
âYou can,â Seungcheol shrugs, but it does not feel as casual as he makes it seem. âBut can you really handle dealing with me and other guys?â
âIs that a challenge?â You joke, and Seungcheol only rolls his eyes with a chuckle.
âNo,â Seungcheol replies. âDo what you want, but trust me when I say that Iâll be fucking you so often that you wonât even have the energy for other guys.â
You almost choke on your noodles, but youâre quick to recover. âBold words.â
âYou know how well I perform,â Seungcheol grins. âSo, are you in?â
Youâre going to regret this.
âIâm in.â
â
Seungcheol doesnât know why heâs like this.
Itâs been a month since your little arrangement started, and heâs broken every rule heâs set for himself. No marks, no expectations, and no exclusivity. Seungcheol has followed none of those. There isnât a day where Seungcheol isnât covered in hickies, there isnât a day where he isnât hoping youâll show up, and there isnât a day where heâs torturing himself with the idea of you finding some other guy to fuck. You, on the other hand, don't seem bothered at all.
You go on with your life. You humor Seungcheol and the little hangoutsâother people would call it datesâthat he invites you to. You eat dinner at his place, fuck, and sometimes you stay the night when you donât have other things to do.
Those are Seungcheolâs favorite nights.
Itâs not even the sex he looks forward to. Itâs the sight of you wrapped in his sheets, sleeping peacefully while he read through cases and reports. Itâs the sudden feeling of you wrapping your arms around him from behind, sleepily whispering in his ear to join you back in bed. Itâs the way heâs quick to relent, locking his lips with yours until the two of you are breathless.
Heâs fucked. Really fucked, but he canât stop himself from seeking you out either way.Â
Itâs a Friday night. Seungcheol could be hitting the clubs, drinking himself dead in a bar, or looking for some pretty thing who wouldnât make him wait this long, but heâs here anyway. Heâs been here so longâand so oftenâthat he could probably draw the entire front section of the medical sciences building from memory with 100% accuracy. He doesnât leave though. Not even when some of the pretty pre-med and medicine students send coy looks his way, not even when his feet start to hurt from standing so long, and not even when the sun sets, leaving him with nothing but the streetlights.
But when Seungcheol sees you at the entrance, all of those inconveniences are quickly forgotten.
âDid you wait long?â You ask before pressing a kiss against Seungcheolâs cheek that has his gut twisting treacherously from the sensation. The rabid butterflies in his stomach only worsen when you wipe at where you kissed him, removing whatever lipstick stayed.Â
Fuck, heâs so screwed.
âNo,â Seungcheol lies through his teeth as he grabs the other helmet resting on his bike and puts it over your head. Itâs something he bought a week into your arrangement, justifying the action with some excuse along the lines of how he needed an extra helmet in case the one heâs wearing suddenly breaks.
(Nevermind the fact that itâs in your favorite color.)
âWhere are we going?â You ask, hands holding onto the hem of Seungcheolâs jacket as he fastens the helmet, adjusting, loosening, and tightening until heâs sure itâs secure.
âJust a little joyride to my favorite spot,â Seungcheol answers before wearing his own helmet and getting onto the bike. âUnless youâre tired. I have no issue just hanging out at my placeââ
âIâm fine,â You reply as you get onto the bike, arms finding their way around Seungcheolâs waist like they belong there. âNothing beats a Friday night joyride.â
Seungcheol agrees.
The little spot Seungcheol wants to take you is around 20 minutes away, 15 if heâs going to speed, but he isnât going to risk it. Not when youâre on the back. Heâs taken you on little joyrides before, but this spot? This was going to be the first time heâll take you, the first time heâll take anyone, really.
Itâs his spot after all. Itâs where he runs when the worldâs too much, where he goes when he needs the space to pretend like nothing else exists. Seungcheol doesnât know why heâs taking you there, he just knows that it feels rightâ
âYah,â Seungcheol warns when he feels your hands wander lower, fingers tracing over his hips the moment the lights turn red. âDonât start.â
âStart what?â You ask innocently, and Seungcheol can practically see the mischievous smile on your face as you speak.
âYou know what.â Seungcheol huffs, busying himself with reaching back and caressing your thighs up and down as he waits for the light to turn green.Â
In return, you only hum, pressing closer against him and bumping your helmet with his affectionately.Â
The action has Seungcheolâs heart stuttering, and he resists the urge to cuss himself out for being so affected by something so utterly mundane.Â
What the hell were you doing to him?
The rest of the ride passes by like that: Seungcheol trying to keep his sanity intact while youâhis handsy little backpackâriled him up. Seungcheol was practically counting down the seconds as the two of you got closer and closer to his little spot overlooking the city, eager to enact his revenge on you after all the teasing and groping youâve been doing.
When the two of you reach the spot, a little grassy patch a few paces away from the road with a view of Seoulâs skyline, Seungcheol immediately gets off, hoists you off the bike, removes your helmets, and promptly drags you to the spot hidden behind the trees.
âOh wow,â You breathe out when your eyes land on the glittering cityscape and the deep gradient of blue behind it. âI donât think Iâve ever seen Seoul like this.â
âItâs nice, no?â Seungcheol asks as he comes up to stand behind you, arms wrapping around you while you marvel at the sight. âI go here when Iâm stressed.â
âI can see why,â You say softly, one arm coming up to scratch at Seungcheolâs head.
Itâs soothing, and each drag of your nails against his scalp has Seungcheolâs lids falling lower and lower until the only thing his senses can pick up on is the feeling of your body against his and the scent of your perfume.
(He doesnât think heâll ever get tired of it.)
Seungcheol doesnât miss the way your breath hitches when he kisses your neck, doesnât miss the way your fingers halt when he drags his lips up before pressing another kiss behind your ear.
âCheol, weâre in public,â You breathe out, and Seungcheol only grins against your ear before one hand grabs your breast and the other cups your mound. âCheolââ
âNo oneâs around though,â Seungcheol coaxes, and the grin on his face only widens when he feels your ass grind back against his groin. âItâs just you and me here.â
âI hate you,â You whine, but it doesnât deter Seungcheol. It only eggs him on, pushes him to shove his hand down your pants while the other crept up under your blouse.
You twitch and moan underneath Seungcheolâs ministrations, eyes screwed shut and head falling back against the manâs shoulder while he kept you standing.
The next thing Seungcheol knows, your knees are on the grass and his cock is in your mouth.
Youâre staring up at him through half-lidded eyes, pink lips stretched wide around his cock while your hands squeezed and played with his balls. Seungcheol doesnât know how the tables turned so quickly, but he isnât complaining.Â
âFuck, youâre always so good at thisââ Seungcheol chokes on his words when he feels his balls hit your chin, the entirety of his shaft seated deep in your throat while you gagged on him. âFuck, waitââ
Seungcheol hears you yelp in surprise when he busts inside your mouth, the cold air hitting his cock when pull away and let the cum splatter all over your lips.
Itâs dirty, debauched, and despite the urge to shut his eyes and ride his high, Seungcheol keeps his eyes on you. He commits the image of your mouth covered in his cum to memory, engraining the sight of your teary eyes and your cum-coated tongue into every groove of his addled mind.
You wipe at your chin before licking your fingers, eyes locked with Seungcheolâs the entire timeâexpecting, waiting.
Seungcheol doesnât miss a beat before heâs raising you onto your feet and pressing you against the tree, mouth crashing against yours to taste himself mixed with your spit.
You moan into Seungcheolâs mouth, whining when his lips part from yours in favor of pressing kisses down your body as he tugs your pants down and removes them.
âCheol, just fuck me,â You breathe out as Seungcheol gets onto his knees and pulls your panties off, pocketing the damp lace with a mischievous grin.Â
Thatâs another one for his collection.
(At this point heâs just buying you new ones so he can steal them.)
âPatience is a virtue,â Seungcheol teases as he presses kisses between your thighs, dragging his lips everywhere but the place you truly want him to be in. âIâve been waiting all week for this.â
Itâs the only warning Seungcheol gives you before heâs diving in, tongue licking a long stripe through your wetness before he fully devours your cunt.
Your cries are music to Seungcheolâs ears, groans of approval rumbling through his chest when you grab onto his hair and start grinding against his face, using him like heâs nothing more than a way for you to get off.
Seungcheol doesnât mind. If anything, he loves it when you get so desperate that you just have to take control.
âWhy are you so good at this?â You moan when Seungcheol sucks on your clit, and he only groans in response.
He doesnât think heâs ever been this enthusiastic about eating pussy. Itâs fun, itâs great, and itâs even better when the girlâs having the time of her life, but Seungcheol isnât doing this for your pleasure, itâs for his.
It sounds selfish, but Seungcheol is addicted to the taste of you, addicted to the sounds you make, addicted to the feeling of your thighs against his face. Of course he wants you to cum, but that want is secondary compared to the need to have you dripping into his mouth and soaking his face.
There is no saving Seungcheol.
(Heâs right where he wants to be.)
Even when you cum, Seungcheol doesnât stop. He licks and eats until the heat in his stomach is satiated, sucks you clean and covers you in his spit until youâre pushing at his head and crying out his name into the night sky.
When Seungcheol pulls away, youâre gone. Your eyes are hazy, your face is beaded with sweat, and your chest is rising and falling like you just ran a marathon.Â
âGood?â Seungcheol asks as he gets onto his feet and takes you into his arms.
You nod, âYeah, just give me a minute.â
When the minute is up, youâre quick to turn your back to Seungcheol, bending over and bracing yourself against the tree with your hands while you look at Seungcheol with hungry eyes, âWhenever youâre ready.â
Seungcheol only grins before reaching into his back pocket to take his wallet out.
Oh fuck no.
âIâve got bad news,â Seungcheol starts, and he watches you straighten up a fraction. âI donât have a condom.â
Itâs silent for a while.
âAre you clean?â You ask, and Seungcheol has to stop his eyes from bulging out of their sockets. Were youâŠ
Seungcheol can feel his heart pick up pace. This is a line he hasnât crossed with anyone, ever. It was always condom on, always dutiful testing every time, but youâ
âYeah,â Seungcheol answers. âI havenât really fucked anyone else, and Iâve got the results on my phone if you want toââ
âIâm clean too, got tested last week,â You reply, and Seungcheol swears thereâs a ghost of a smile on your face as you say it. âHavenât really fucked anyone else either.â
âOkay,â Seungcheol nods, positioning himself behind you. âBirth control?â
âDonât want a mini-me, Cheol?â You tease, and Seungcheol can feel his dick twitch when the image of you carrying a kid that looks exactly like him crosses his mind. âKidding, I am.â
(Is it bad that some part of Seungcheol wishes you werenât?)
âIâll pull out,â Seungcheol says, and he can practically feel his heart in his throat as he holds onto his cock with one hand and grasps your hip with the other. Heâs really doing this, heâs taking your word for it and trusting you blindly, but fuck, the need to be buried in your heat was clouding his mind and pushing aside whatever rational thought remained in his head.
âDonât make promises you canât keep,â You grin back at him, and Seungcheol only rolls his eyes.
You had a point.
And that point is proven further when Seungcheol drags his head through your wet lips, the warmth and slick enveloping his cock with no barriers sending tingles up his spine.
He could probably cum from this.
Moans simultaneously fall from your lips when Seungcheol slides in. Youâre wet, really wet, and the slick dripping from your slit lets Seungcheol bury himself to the hilt with ease.
âFuck, youâre so wet,â Seungcheol hisses, fingers digging into your hips as he strokes in and out of you slowly, savoring the heat, the wetness, and the tightness of your cunt around him. âNever gonna fuck you with a condom on, baby. Not after youâve given me a taste of thisââ
A whine of approval falls from between your lips at the same time you clench around Seungcheol. âLike fucking my pussy bare, Cheol?â
âI love fucking your pussy bare, baby,â Seungcheol groans, hips starting to pick up pace. âAnd I think you like taking my cock bare too, huh? Youâre clenching so tightly, baby. Donât bother lying to me. I know you like it.â
âI do,â You breathe out, looking behind you to stare at Seungcheol with a sultry, half-lidded gaze that has his cock twitching inside you. âSo fuck me like you mean it, Cheol.â
Say less.
Seungcheol fucks you like his life depends on it. He aims for the spots has hour moans increasing in pitch, strokes his cock in and out at a pace that has your knees bucking and your eyes crossing. At one point, Seungcheol has to get his arms around you, keeping you upright while he bent over you and humped into you like doing anything else would kill him.
âYouâre being so loud, baby. What if someone hears?â Seungcheol knows no one passes by here, especially not at this hour, but says it anyway because he knows itâll get you going. âWhatâll they say when they see you moaning and crying on my cock like a slut, hm? Youâve got such a pretty face but youâre letting me ruin you like this, fuck.â
âLet them watch,â You moan in reply. âLet them see how much I love taking your cock.â
Seungcheol almost cums then and there, hips stuttering for a second before heâs fucking in and out of you with no regard for anything but the sheer desire to the get both of you coming undone.
âDonât say shit like that unless you want me to fill you up,â Seungcheol hisses as he pulls your hips back to meet his harsh thrusts. âYouâre such a slut, fuck. You treat other guys like this or am I just special, hm?â
âJust you, Cheol!â You whine, little gasps and moans falling from your lips as Seungcheol uses you to his heartâand dickâsâcontent. âIâm so close, please, please, pleaseââ
You shriek when Seungcheolâs hand finds its way to your clit, fingers rubbing sloppy circles meant to push you closer to the edge.Â
âHold it, pretty girl,â Seungcheol rasps into your. âI want to cum with you.â
You whine, fingers clenched into fists as you brace yourself against the tree. âCanâtââ
âYou can, baby,â Seungcheol murmurs against your ear as he feels his balls seize and his stomach clench at the impending orgasm. Itâs a big one, he can tell. He can feel the electricity all the way to his toes, can feel his body tensing in anticipation of something mindblowing. âWhere?â
âAnywhereâfuck, please just let me cum, Cheol, pleaseââ
Seungcheol canât hold back anymore, âCum for me, baby.â
A loud cry of Seungcheolâs name falls from your lips at the same time you clamp violently down on Seungcheolâs dick. The sensation is so sudden and so strong that Seungcheol is immediately thrown headfirst into an orgasm that has him swearing and biting into your shoulder to muffle his moans.
Heâs not cumming anywhere else after this.
Seungcheol can feel his cum fill you up, and your cunt only spasms sporadically around him like it approves, like it wants him to paint your insides white with his spunk. Itâs warm, wet, intimate, and Seungcheol feels so tied to you in that moment that he canât find it in himself to pull out even when his cock no longer has anything to spill.
When you turn your head around and raise a hand to Seungcheolâs jaw, heâs quick to lean down and capture your lips.
Itâs soft, slow, and it has Seungcheolâs heart beating treacherously as he licks into your mouth and grinds his softening cock to drive his release deeper into your core. Itâs useless, he knows that.
(But itâs the thought that counts.)
The possessiveness from his end has always been there, and you letting him cum inside you like this has only served to worsen it. This is his pussy, his woman. His to hold, his to touch, his to fuck, his to loveâ
Seungcheol can feel the world stop.
âCheol?â You murmur against his lips when you feel him still. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing,â Seungcheol replies quickly as he pecks your lip and pulls out against his will. If Seungcheol wasnât going through hell and back right now, he would probably get on his knees and lick at the globs of white dribbling from your hole. âI thought I heard something.â
You only give him a look before nodding. âCan I get my panties back?â
âNo,â Seungcheol grins like he isnât going through a crisis, grins like the foundation of everything heâs known and upheld isnât being violently shaken. âTheyâre mine now.â
You arenât his, but Seungcheolâand it terrifies him to admit thisâis yours.
Itâs just sex to you, but it isnât to Seungcheol, it hasnât been for a while, he realizes. Is this what all the other girls felt when he was fucking them with no feelings? It felt bad, really bad.Â
âTypical,â You say with a roll of your eyes, a small smile on your lips as you pull your pants up. âWanna get dinner?â
âSure,â Seungcheol nods as he pulls his bottoms up and takes your hand to guide you back to where his bikeâs parked. âWhat are we feeling?â
We. It feels right, and Seungcheol doesnât think he can live without all of this anymore.Â
âChimaek?â You ask, and Seungcheol nods.
âChimaek it is.â
â
Youâre fucked.
Itâs been two months since you started this arrangement with Choi Seungcheol, and neither of you seem to have any plans of stopping. Itâs good, great even. Seungcheol is quite literally the man of your dreams and that is the problem. Youâre doing less of the sex and more of the enjoying each otherâs company, and it scares you because this is not what you were expecting.
Choi Seungcheol was treating you less like a way to get off and more like a girlfriend, and it terrifies you because you donât want him to stop.
Youâre not supposed to get attached. Especially not to someone whoâs known for using women until they catch feelings and discarding them when they do. You did not want to be on the list of women that Seungcheol has fucked into falling in love with him, your pride canât take it.
(Neither can your heart.)
Youâre in the middle of a self-care shopping session when Seungcheol calls, and you hate the way youâre quick to find a quiet corner to pick up his call.
âHello?â
âHey,â You answer, and you swear your heart seems to beat faster at the sound of his voice. âWhyâd you call?â
âWhere are you?â Seungcheol asks, and in the background you can hear the sound of a bike revving up.
âAt the mall,â You answer. âThinking if I should buy the skirt I was talking about.â
âThe lilac one?â Seungcheol asks, and you canât help the smile that makes its way to your face. He remembers even the smallest rambles. Of course he does. âIâm on my way.â
âWhat?â Your body is suddenly on full alert. âWhy?â
âCanât I hang out with my favorite girl?â Seungcheol is teasing you, you know that, but knowing that doesnât change the fact that his words have your pulse quickening. âBe there in 10 minutes.â
âDonât speed,â You scold, and Seungcheol chuckles from the other line.
âGot it, boss.â
And the call ended there.
You can no longer focus on your little shopping spree, too bothered by Seungcheolâs sudden disturbance during a day that was supposed to be about that self-love shit all those mental health gurus spoke about. The only thing you can think about is why. His make-up class just ended. He could head straight home and sleep the rest of the day away to recover his energy but he chose to go to you.
And you didnât even ask him to.
âHey.â
Youâre quick to turn at the sound of Seungcheolâs voice.
Itâs unfair how he just keeps looking better every time you see him. White slacks, brown polo, that godforsaken ID laceâSeungcheol makes his everyday wear look like something that was ripped off a runway. The outfit coupled with the smile, the dimples, the pushed-back hairâ
A kiss is pressed to your cheek at the same time Seungcheol takes your hand, and thatâs how your fate is sealed, you think.
âWhat was that for?â You ask when Seungcheol pulls away and starts guiding you back to the store with the skirt youâve been eyeing.
âJust felt like it,â Seungcheol shrugs like he didnât just ruin the foundation of everything you believed in. âShall we?â
âWhere are we going?â You ask.
âTo the store,â Seungcheol snorts like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âWeâre getting that skirt.â
You stare at him incredulously. âSorry, we?â
âMy bad,â Seungcheol looks at you with a grin. âIâm getting the skirt.â
Despite your protests, Seungcheol somehow manages to tap his card and get you the lilac skirt youâve been eyeing since it crossed your feed the other week.
âIâm paying you back,â You tell Seungcheol, walking out of the store not knowing if youâre supposed to be giddy or guilty. Itâs expensive, and even if it probably wouldnât put a dent on Seungcheolâs account, you still hate the idea of owing him.
âDonât bother because Iâm just going to return it,â Seungcheol waves you off. âWhere do you wanna eat?â
âYou pick,â You reply quickly. There was no way in hell you were going to be the one to pick when Seungcheol already paid for the overpriced skirt sitting prettily in the shopping bag youâre holding.
âOkay.â
You resist the urge to scream when Seungcheol takes you to your favorite restaurant. Of course heâd do that. Of course the universe would push him in that direction just to make things worse for the walls around your heart that were crumbling like heaps of loosely packed sand.
âDidnât know you liked it here,â You comment.
âGot used to it,â Seungcheol shrugs. âYour usual?â
âYeah,â You nod before sweeping your eyes across the restaurant to look for an empty seat. âIâll go look for a seat.â
âGo ahead,â is the only thing Seungcheol says as he gives your hip a squeeze before letting you go.
You hate this.
What was supposed to be a date with yourself quickly became a date with Seungcheol. Was it a date? You liked to think it was. Anyone who was witnessing it would call it that with how sweet and doting Seungcheol is towards you. He hasnât let your hand go, hasnât let you pay for anything, hasnât let you out of his sight.Â
The only thing missing was the label, really.Â
Friends donât do this, not even the ones who come with benefits. They donât hold your hand and press a kiss to your head every once in a while. They donât laugh at each and every one of your jokes and pinch your cheek affectionately. They donât get you flowers from a random stall just because it would look prettier in your hands. They donât do everything Seuncheol does when heâs with you.
What were you two?
And when did the two of you ever reach this point? When did you ever let Seungcheol so close to your heart? When did you ever let him infiltrate your routine so deeply that his absence made things feel⊠Wrong?Â
âSure,â You nod. âBut Iâm paying this time.â
âYouâll have to beat me to it,â Seungcheol only looks at you with that handsome smile of his. The one that has his cheeks sinking into treacherously adorable dimples that have your heart skipping and tumbling.
The day ends at Seungcheolâs apartment.
Heâs lying down on the couch with you resting on top of him, the two of you locked in a languid kiss that had no definite direction. Youâre kissing for the hell of it, hands all up in Seungcheolâs hair while he rubbed and squeezed you all over.
This isnât how it should be.
It should be carnal, meaningless beyond its purpose as a way to satiate the call of the flesh. You and Seungcheol should be desperately stripping each other, hunger fueling your movements as you chase that sinful high, but thatâs not whatâs happening.
Seungcheolâs just kissing you.
Youâre just kissing Seungcheol.
Itâs just a kiss.
(It feels like so much more than that.)
âWanna stay the night?â Seungcheol murmurs against your lips before pressing a tender kiss to your chin.
Your eyes flutter shut at the soft sensation. âArenât you tired?â
âWe donât have to fuck,â Seungcheol mumbles as he drags his lips against the column of your throat. âWe can just sleep if you donât wanna.â
âWhy?â You breathe out. Youâve been asking that so often that you think the word is already branded onto your tongue.
âWhy not?â Seungcheol chuckles, hands moving to squeeze at your hips. âBut you donât have to.â
But you want to.
You want to fall asleep in his arms, want to wake up in it. You crave the intimacy, the comfort, the warmth, but most of all, you crave Seungcheol. So against your better judgement, you say, âIâll stay.â
Youâre fucked.
â
Jeongyeon doesnât like Choi Seungcheol.
She knows you can handle yourself, itâs why she didnât meddle when she found out that you were in some no-strings-attached arrangement with the guy. Sure, sheâs worried, but sheâs not going to dictate your life. The most she can do is watch out for the guy and steer you off the path to loving him when you started showing signs like the rest of her blockmates did when Seungcheol got them dickmatized.
Unfortunately, when she gets to you, itâs too late.
Youâre standing at her door, wide-eyed, utterly horrified, and with one sentence, you confirm her greatest fears:
âJeongyeon, I think I like him.â
Itâs a good thing her fridge is filled with beer and bad ideas.
Jeongyeon listens to you talk about the man, about how handsome he is, how well he treats you, and how soft he makes you feel every time youâre with him. Jeongyeon doesnât hear you say anything about his dickânot that she wants to hear itâand she thinks thatâs the worst part.
Because you see Choi Seungcheol as more than a quick fuck, and Seungcheol, no matter how kind or gentlemanly heâs being, is never in these relationships for anything more than just a quick fuck.Â
You ramble and ramble, beer in one hand and heart in the other, and it takes everything in Jeongyeon not to shake you and tell you to run the way you always do.
You were too happy. Terrified by the rawness of the feeling gnawing at your heart, sure, but happy, and Jeongyeon doesnât think sheâs seen you smile like this in a while.
âGirl, there is no saving you,â Jeongyeon concludes for the nth time that night after you pause in your little rant about how Seungcheol looked so adorably bitable in the mornings. âWhy donât you just confess?â
âTelling me to die wouldâve been kinder, Jeongyeon-ah,â You reply with a sigh, clutching tighter onto your beer bottle as you pull your legs in and rest your chin on your knees. âYou know how he is.â
Jeongyeon does, but itâs been a while since sheâs heard Seungcheolâs name float around in the halls. Which is odd because the girls in her class are usually whispering about his latest fuck and who might be next followed by the same girls wishing it was them.
Odd, but Jeongyeon doesnât dwell on it.
âWell, itâs better than keeping it to yourself and falling even deeper for the guy,â Jeongyeon shrugs.Â
âIâm not gonna fall in loveââ
âY/N, you already have,â Jeongyeon says, and she watches as you tense and cave in on yourself like you canât handle the weight of reality falling down onto you all at once. âI know you.â
And Jeongyeon knows that beneath your lustful, unfeeling exterior is the girl whoâs still hoping for true love despite all the times sheâs been fucked over by the male population. You werenât always like this: so determined to stay unattached and unavailable. Youâve always had a lot of love to give, always been the kind of girl who dreamed of finding her one true love and settling down in some cute suburban house with a dog and two kids, but life happens.Â
Jeongyeon still remembers the first break-up: some shitty senior from college who wooed you, took your virginity, and promptly left once he got what he wanted. She still remembers the men that came after, the ones who pretended to be the ideal man just so they could score one night. She also remembers the ones who stuck around, the extremely jealous bastards whoâd tear you down to keep you tethered while they fucked other women behind your back. Jeongyeon honestly doesnât blame you for being so pessimistic about men when your history was full of assholes.
âDo I just end it?â You whisper softly, and Jeongyeon wants to say yes, but the glimmer of hope in your eyes has Jeongyeon swallowing her words and shaking her head.
âMaybe you should talk to him first,â Jeongyeon suggests. Itâs the logical route. The mature way of handling things. It may be pointless given Seungcheolâs tendencies, but itâs better than you not trying and tormenting yourself with the what ifâs.
âIâll try,â You mumble in reply. âBut I kinda just wanna get shitfaced right now.â
Jeongyeon only smiles. âLetâs do that then.â
Maybe itâs time for her to intervene.
(Unfortunately, things go to shit even before Jeongyeon can intervene.)
Jeongyeon thinks itâs a little tacky to be throwing a birthday party at a club, but Jeongyeon doesnât question it. Sheâs just here to build a rapport with her peers and the free fancy alcohol that Jennie was paying for with daddyâs money.
âOh my god, I canât watch this,â Nayeon tucks her face into Jeongyeonâs shoulder, immediately piquing the latterâs curiosity. âGirl, he doesnât want you.â
âWhatâs happening?â Jeongyeon asks, looking around the club to search for the potential source of entertainment.
Nayeon points towards one of the booths, and what Jeongyeon sees immediately has her stomach twisting in knots.
Jennieâs drunk, clinging onto Seungcheol who has an unreadable expression on his face. Sheâs got his arm trapped between her breasts, her perfectly manicured finger tracing lascivious circles on the manâs chest as she whispers something into his ear.
This is not good, but Jeongyeon gives Seungcheol the benefit of the doubt. Presumption of innocence: Seungcheol is innocent until proven guilty.
However, it doesnât sit right with Jeongyeon. Jennie has always been head over heels for the man, her little masochistic crush unwavering even when whispers of Seungcheol fucking some other girl whoâs not her flies around the halls. She always takes it in stride with a smile, the woman completely deluded that things would go her way when the timingâs right.
Jeongyeon almost feels bad for her.
(But sheâs more worried about you.)
âOh wait, I think sheâs got a shot,â Nayeon says from beside Jeongyeon as Seungcheol hoists Jennie onto her feet and starts dragging her out of the club.
You arenât exclusive. Itâs something you told Jeongyeon when babbling about the informal arrangement. Seungcheol could fuck who he wanted the same way you could, but feelings donât listen to technicalities.
This would ruin you.
Jeongyeonâs torn between telling you and letting you find out. After all, she doesnât have the full details. She doesnât know where Seungcheolâs going, doesnât know where heâs taking Jennieâs drunk ass while all her friends whistled and hollered. For all Jeongyeon knows, he could just be taking her home, but all current evidence shows otherwise. But then again, she doesnât have solid proof, and she wasnât about to burden you with something that hasnât occurred yet.
And so, Jeongyeon decides to keep her mouth shut until you ask or until sheâs got enough evidence.
Thereâs nothing else she can do beyond that.
â
You think youâre going to be sick.
[jenniekim] âThanks for last night <3â
A heart and a vague caption, theyâre usually things you wouldnât think twice about scrolling past, but not this time. Not when the heart and the vague caption came with a picture of a drop dead gorgeous womanâyou assume sheâs Jennieâclinging onto Seungcheol. Itâs only made worse when you move to the next screenshot and find a picture of Jennie looking absolutely gone while she clings onto Seungcheolâs arm. The final nail in your coffin comes when you play the screen-recording of a video from some dump accountâs IG story captioned: âget your man girlâ.
And the video shows the vague figures of Seungcheol dragging Jennie out of the club.
Thereâs no mistaking it.Â
Itâs him.
Youâve seen that body, touched that body, worshipped that body too many times to be wrong. Youâve spent too many nights watching that strong back shift and move, spent too many days with that view.
Youâre going to puke.
[Jeongjeongie <3]: just a heads up
[Jeongjeongie <3]: nothingâs confirmed but I thought you should know.
[You]: Thanks, bestieÂ
[You]: Totally not sobbing right now
[You]: JK, Iâm fine, donât worry.Â
[You]: We arenât exclusive, so itâs fine.
Itâs not fine. Itâs the farthest thing from fine.
[Jeongjeongie <3]: well, if you ever want to fuck him up
[Jeongjeongie <3]: you know who to call
[You]: Thanks
[You]: ily
You mute your phone and shove it into your bag before you could torture yourself even more. Not that you needed to look at the pic to do that. You had stared at it for so long that the image has already burned itself into your retina. It didnât matter if your eyes were closed or open, you could still see the red of Jennieâs dress complementing the black of Seungcheolâs shirt, could still play the video of them leaving the club in 4K.
It hurts.
It feels like your chest is caving in on itself, like your heart was being crushed in the unfeeling palm of someone who wanted you dead. It has you tearing up, your throat tightening and your head pounding as you try to recall those stupid breathing exercises that were meant to ground you but none of it is working.Â
Did Seungcheol get sick of you? Did he finally get his fill of you and realized that he needed something new? What did she have that you didnât? Was she a better fuck? Or did you just get boring? Is that it? It probably was. Youâre stupid for thinking that Seungcheol wanted you for anything beyond sex. Thatâs all you are anyway, a way to get off, a way to remove the edge. Maybe your ex was right. Youâre not the type of woman that men can love, youâre the kind they pass around.
Well fuck them then.
The ache quickly turns into anger, and the anger quickly turns into a desire for revenge.
If Seungcheol was going to fuck other people, then so were you, and you were going to enjoy every single second of it.
â
Mingyu is a patient man.
But he likes to think that even a patient man has his limits.
Youâve been eyeing him like prey since the moment you walked into the little house party his frat brothers are throwing, and he canât say that he hates it. If anything, Mingyu loves it. The woman heâs been pining after for a year suddenly showing something beyond professional courtesy and friendly banter? Sign him the fuck up.
Thatâs why when he catches your sultry gaze for the nth time that night, Mingyu decides to down the rest of his liquid courage in one go before walking over to where youâre refilling your cup with the dreadful concoction his brothers made.
âHow are you not dying from that?â Mingyu says as he stands beside you, watching you fill your cup with what might just be liquid poison.
âPractice,â You reply, taking a sip of the drink before pulling a face. âWant some?â
Mingyu only takes your wrist, bringing the cup to his lips, and taking a sip of the drink he swore heâd never touch again.
The taste of chemical hits Mingyuâs tongue, and it takes everything in him not to sputter and spit the liquid out. Call it childish, call it high school, but he wasnât about to look like an idiot in front of the woman he likes.
Mingyu, against his better judgment, swallows and says, âStill as bad as I remember.â
You only giggle before reaching up, a perfectly manicured finger tracing the line of alcohol at the corner of Mingyuâs mouth before you pop it between your lips.
There isnât a single coherent thought in Mingyuâs head after that.
âTastes fine to me,â You reply, and Mingyu doesnât know if heâs imagining it, but he swears thereâs an edge to your tone thatâs meant to provoke.Â
Itâs a blur from there.
Mingyu follows you to your apartment like a sailor strung by the notes of a sirenâs song. He feels like heâs in a daze as you pull him in and crash your soft lips against his in a ravenous kiss that has his body burning up.
He knows youâre just using him, knows heâs just another notch on your bedpost, but that doesnât stop him from kissing back with just as muchâif not moreâhunger. Heâs waited for this, craved this and more. It may not be the timeline envisioned for you two butâ
Mingyu will take what he can get.
Itâs stupid, but Mingyu canât help but hope that maybe he can fuck you well enough to make you fall in love with him the way heâs in love with you.
âFuck me, Gyu,â You murmur against Mingyuâs lips as you pull him back into your bed.
Mingu only follows the tug at his shirt and his heart, hands moving hastily to strip you and him before heâs rolling the condom onto his cock and positioning it at your entrance.
Youâre just using him.
(Mingyu would gladly be used by you.)
A/N:Â Hello everyone! Not sure if yâall are still around, but Iâm just dropping this for those who are still interested. Part 2 will be dropped some time next year. Thank you for reading this far!
Oh Iâve been waiting for this ficđč it didnât disappoint at all, LOVED it đ„° and I will be patiently waiting for part two of course because the way you ended this, GIRL IM IN PAIN AND SUFFERING
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