They Come Unstuck | Isabelle
Stan took a deep breath in. “We were so much more than that,” he told her with a small sigh. It was true, Stan and Isabelle were so much more than just fuck buddies. Even if they agreed on no strings, it ended with both of them getting tangled up in them. He thought back to when he first met Isabelle. Fresh off of a break up, and he wanted nothing of the relationship sort. Even when he met Isabelle he didn’t just want to fuck her. Hence why the two of them were friends with benefits. But turns out you can’t be friends with benefits without somebody getting hurt in the end. And it wasn’t just one person that got sucked in with the tides, it was both of them. The ocean carried the pair out to sea, drowning them both because the bond they created was stronger than the tides. “You know we were so much more than that,” he pulled his knees up to his chest and let out a soft sigh as he looked out into the silvery water.
The words fell off of Izzy’s lips and Stan felt them sink into his chest as if she had just stabbed him. “And then we ruined it,” his voice monotone, careful not to show any emotion that was too strong. “Do you remember the first time we came out here,” he started. “It was a night just like this, well actually it was this night,” he laughed, not caring if it sounded weird that he had remembered that. “I told you everything, even things that I’m too scared to tell anybody else,” he sighed. “Yeah, we had fucked a few times already, in fact we fucked a lot. But I remember kissing you,” the corner of his mouth twitched up as he stared blankly into the ocean. “And it wasn’t a kiss where we shoved each other’s tongues down our throats, it was the kiss,” he shook his head, letting a small chuckle escape his lips. “I hate sounding cliche, and I’m going to,” he warned the blonde, “but I had never been more scared in my life when I kissed you. Well, I thought it was fear that I was feeling. The feeling was foreign, but fear was the closest emotion that I could connect it back to. So I ran,” he laughed, disappointment laced in the gesture. “That’s what you do when you’re afraid, you run,” he felt like he needed to justify why he just left. He ran his tongue along the front of his teeth, allowing him to think for just another moment.
“It took me a long time to realize what exactly I was feeling. At first is was fear, fear because nobody had ever made me feel that way, and something new is always frightening,” he started in his long explanation of what emotions he felt. “Then it was denial. Jess came back and I thought, this is love, this is it. She is love. She’s the only person I’ve ever loved,” he laughed at the thought of it now. “And then it was jealousy. When I saw you with Shane, or Mason, or whoever the fuck you were with, I was jealous. Even a part of me now is starting to feel it sink into my skin and pump in my veins. I didn’t even know why I was jealous you weren’t mine, you were never mine,” he shook his head, making sure to keep his eyes on the tides. “Then it was anger. For whatever reason, I was mad at you because it was the only thing that made sense. You made me feel this way, you were the reason why I wasn’t happy,” he let out a shaky breath before finally breaking for the ocean to look over at the blonde who was only illuminated by the moonlight. “But I was wrong. I realized that you were the only reason why I was happy. And when I didn’t have you, I was empty,” he caught her eyes in his gaze for a moment before he looked down at the sand that was underneath him. “I still am empty,” he admitted in a defeated tone. “Whenever I would think about you, I would smile. I would spend nights laying awake, just thinking about everything that we were, everything that we could’ve been. And it took me so long to realize that this was love. You were love,” he finally said, looking up at the girl for some sort of response.
She knew. She knew that the connection they shared was more than simply physical, having learned through him that intimacy was not strictly limited to the bedroom. It transcended the body and rattled her to the core, creating a bond that managed survived time and circumstances. Izzy pushed aside her feelings for Stan and built a stable life of her own, which was on the verge of being destroyed. But then again, those feelings never truly disappeared. They were like a roaring fire that had been reduced to embers, for the intensity had subsided but feelings still lingered. The blonde laughed bitterly at the effect Stan had, mentally cussing every higher power she could think of. How was it possible for one person to have so much power over her? Seeing him was the tinder that ignited the flame once more, shining through the darkness that clouded them.
Izzy pursed her lips as she listened to Stan speak, secretly thankful for an explanation for his actions. After all that time, she always wondered why Stan went back to Jessica. It ate away at her on restless nights, brain racing for answers why. She finally settled on not being good enough for him. She was who she was, and that was that. Take it or leave it. Stan left. When Grant came along, he accepted her for who she was, something that she thought Stan didn’t, which was why she jumped into his embrace. She wanted to be with someone who loved her for her entirety, and not be the second option. But Stan’s words were shattering her misconstrued beliefs, making her reevaluate everything she thought was the past. He left because he was scared, not because she wasn’t enough. He left because she was scared, not because she was a second option. And Izzy didn’t know how to feel about that.
Her body froze when he said she was love, not having expected him to declare that. He loved her. Stanley Shaw loved her. She felt his gaze on her, but she didn’t look over in fear of her impulsive tendencies. “I loved you, Stan,” the blonde said quietly, staring at the silver ring that sat on her finger. “We were so caught up in our own world that we didn’t even realize that we loved each other. But it’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it,” she said, trying not to let the sadness seep into her voice. She finally looked up and stared at the boy under the moon’s soft glow, taking the time to memorize the way he looked. “I loved you,” she repeated, meeting his gaze and leaning closer. “I don’t love Grant,” Izzy whispered, eyes dropping to stare at his lips, “and I’m going to kiss you now.” The blonde tentatively placed her hands on his face, gently pulling him towards her as she brushed her lips against his, scared that he would reject her once more. Choosing between the two boys in her life was like standing at the edge of a riptide and deciding whether to step back or jump into the chaotic waters. And she was jumping in.
