Reader Writer Watcher Spy

A Thought a Day Leaves My Mind Slightly Less Cluttered

[howmaywehateyoublog]

“The Head of NeNe Leakes on a platter, please.”

Back in the fall, the NeNe Leakes from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” was in Chicago the Musical. This is a real interaction that happened. 

GUEST: NeNe Leakes, please. CONCIERGE: So, you want tickets to Chicago? GUEST: No, she’s from Atlanta. CONCIERGE: Right, but she’s in Chicago the musical right now. You want tickets to see that? GUEST: She’s in a play? CONCIERGE: I thought that’s what you were asking for when you said, “NeNe Leakes, please?” GUEST: If I should. Okay. Here’s my credit card. 

I’ll never find out what she wanted when she approached and said “NeNe Leakes, please…”

[j-harbinger]

Me: I'll be on vacation next week, but I'll make sure to try and take walks on the beach or bike. PT: Oh, fun! Add strength exercises and balancing. Is there a gym? Do you have a resistance band? Here you go!

[j-harbinger]

A Moment on July 1

When you’re running around frantically trying to print something, one wireless printer keeps reading as offline, an email password is lost, one of three .pdfs is suddenly unsharable, and then you realize that one-month-ago-You already took care of it, printed everything out and put it on top of the mantle where it’s clearly visible.

[j-harbinger]

An Episode on June 17

A friend took me on a belated bday lunch. She had suggested maybe Claim Jumper or Sizzler and I countered with Korean BBQ. 

As per usual, I scanned Yelp to get an idea of lunchtime pricing and noticed they offered both soju and imported beer. My friend, not at all a day time drinker, declined sharing a bottle of sake with me. So when the owner passed our table, I ordered a beer.

He asked which one. I didn’t actually remember which brands the restaurant carried, so I clumsily asked for the imported Korean one. He stretched his hands out to indicate the size of the bottle. “It only comes in big size,” he says.

I told him that was fine, laughing a little at myself and flapping my hand carelessly. He paused and stooped down a little, staring deep into my eyes. I thought for a moment he was offended that I’d asked for a Korean beer. Then he brightened and said, “Okay, okay, I don’t need ID.”

He brought the beer and two small glasses, popping the top off and lingered a bit as I poured the first glass for my friend (since she’s older than me and the proper thing to do). He smiled, pointing a finger at me. “Okay, you are twenty-two today.”

My friend and I both laugh. She said it was my birthday. I protested weakly that I had in fact just turned 25. It was a great beer, a crisp, pale lager that went well with the heavy, marinated meats and vinegary sides. He said goodbye to us in Korean.

[sigalawin]

a collection of notable Kylux AUs!!! <3 this fandom has such wonderful and lovely people tbh ahjsjsdskl so consider this as my tribute to each and every one of you guys! ;v; AND big thanks to @pidgy-draws for helping me put all this together aahjjsjksdjslkslk <3

AUs + Credits: Fem! Kylux, Emperor and Knight Verse by @jeusus, Kylo Amidala AU by @robespierrre, Senator AU by @sathinfection and @suzannart, Ceasefire by @hollyhark w/ the design based on @hicstreme0‘s drawings, Ben Solo AU by @hicstreme0, Witch AU by @reserve w/ the design based on @hicstreme0‘s drawings, MySpace AU by @horatiosroom, First Order Coffee AU by @kromitar and @rraffeh, Game of Thrones AU by @space-emos and @parttimedragon, Grand Admiral! Hux, Pink Haired Hux by @nightsofllyn w/ the design based on @space-emos‘ drawings, Matt & Clan Techie Crossover by @night-cf, Slave! Kylo by @chickadddddd, Southern Gothic AU by @sinfullucifer and @ocktorok, Middle Class Family AU by @jo2oo, Spoiled Prince AU by @mythoughtcrime, Redeemed AU by @senkkei, Sleeper Knight! Hux by @parttimedragon, Hogwarts AU, Modern AU, Wolf & Fox based on @ryukocha‘s drawings, Fae AU by @ingu w/ the design based on @bona-mana‘s drawings, and Caged AU by @kylogetrekt

[punkidrawsstuff]

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, GREAT JOB

[generalgingersnaps]

Omg, awesome!!!

(I’d love to just note how, for the MOST part, modern au Kylux is like basically all our modern au… surly, emo Kylo and preppy Hux… I am dying)

[jo2oo]

O M G I AM DYING

[j-harbinger]

I suddenly want to follow this pairing fandom so bad now.

[j-harbinger]

A Thought on May 31

Privately going to refer to the blood flow restriction machine as the “burning fucking ridiculous”-machine from now on. It’s really lucky my physical therapist currently has two sports injury twenty-somethings in the office to test his torture toy on ‘cause I doubt the average middle-aged twingy back people would be very gung ho about it.

[j-harbinger]

A Triumph on May 28

When the earbuds you left in your pocket gets accidentally washed but still works afterward:

[j-harbinger]

A Memory on May 23

Every time I lose count of how many scoops of beans I’ve slopped into my coffee grinder, I sort of just mentally shrug and add two big scoops to compensate in a willingness to err towards it being really strong, rather than impotent.

It reminds me of a time my crew stumbled into a Coco’s after a hard night out. 

I was desperate enough to pay for the diner coffee, which came out, not with the consistency of motor oil which I assume appeals to truck drivers and beat shift cops, but what can only be described as tepid brown water. This dubious substance would not help me YOLO my way out of regretting the endless hours spent marathoning my way through minor sins with my compatriots. I flagged down the waitress and asked if she could brew me a fresh batch of stronger coffee. 

Waitress: “We only have this type of coffee and a decaffeinated one. It’s organic.” Me: *the parts of my brain that dictate curtesy completely dark, leaving only the bits used to communicate base needs* “No...no. I want a stronger brew, not a stronger bean.” Waitress: “I’m sorry, this is the only brand our restaurant carries.” Me: “I don’t want a different coffee. I want you to brew more of it.” Waitress: “Do you want me to combine this with the organic one?” Me: *stares with forlorn acceptance of the death that will now inevitably come because a waitress who works in a diner known for its breakfasts doesn’t know how coffee works.* Male Waiter: “What seems to be the problem?” Me: *holds up coffee cup despondently* Waiter: *takes one look at our bedraggled faces and mishmash of club wear and sweats before dragging his colleague to the coffee machine* This is what she means. *dumps in coffee grounds until the filter is completely full* 

Pretty sure I owe that man my life.

[j-harbinger]

A Thought on May 12

Him- “You’re so smart. Why aren’t you at Harvard?” Me- *basks in flattery and smugness for one wonderful moment* “Because people like me are a dime a dozen at an Ivy League. Anyone dumber than me has a trust fund.” 

[j-harbinger]

When this happens and you're like, "This day just gave up on being good."

[j-harbinger]

A Short Episode from April 30

My entire schedule being thrown because an Amazon Prime package overshot its two day delivery frame is skirting a little too close to neurotic behavior for me.

All the package contains is shower curtain rings and stationary. I wanted cleaning my bathroom and setting up the new shower curtain to coincide with when I would need breaks from studying for my Econ test. Letter writing is usually a leisure activity, but something I’ve now put off too long and has turned into a task that needs to be completed. None of which I can do WITHOUT THIS DAMN PACKAGE. I can’t believe how derailed my weekend itinerary has become over this one little thing.

[j-harbinger]

Two Thoughts from April 28

1) I have mixed feelings about being given a donut by my PT for improving my walk. Is it cute, condescending, or merely delicious? 2) I have reached that point of podcast saturation wherein I listen to strangers speaking more than I do interacting with real people out in the world.

[j-harbinger]

I was Googling why the borrowing limits for undergraduates were higher than for graduate students, given how expensive JD and MD programs can get, but got this instead. This autocomplete totally explains why student loan debt is close a trillion dollars in the US.

[j-harbinger]

Two Snippets From the Grocery Store on April 22

Guy: “Did you do that playing soccer?” Me: “Tennis.” Guy: “How do you hurt yourself in tennis, lol?” Me: *My serve is over 60mph. That’s an average speed for a car traveling on a highway.*

Other Guy: “What happened?” Me: “Tore my ACL playing tennis. You?” Guy: “I was shot in the knee.” Me: 

[j-harbinger]

A Snippet on April 21

Physical therapy session √ Wave to the dancing cow √ Get coffee, eat lunch √ Run errands √ Go groceries Pick up Ching √

[j-harbinger]

A Moment in Time on April 6

I was filling out a map of Europe and had already demarcated all the countries and capitols and had progressed to notable cities when I read the word Munich and for no discernible reason, I instead moved my pen over to Poland and marked where Kraków is.

My brain was all, “Oh, I’m expected to know where Germany’s third largest city is? How about no. Here’s Kraków, bitch.”

[j-harbinger]

A Thought on Feb 7

After idly tallying up the amount of musical instruments I can competently play (if not pleasantly), I am forced to conclude that the reason I’ve been unable to fully master any of them is that I have a chronic aversion to music teachers and not music itself.

They always made me feel so nervous because they expected me to have practiced and I never did.