The Modern Rome Burning

I post everything here that I don't want anyone to see.If you find me, don't tell where I'm at.

[j-rad-dreams]

Popularity, Fate, and Other Unbreakable Laws of Nature

[j-rad-dreams]

“I feel like I’m looking through the window at a world I’m not allowed to live in”

[j-rad-dreams]

i’m tired

[j-rad-dreams]

[j-rad-dreams]

STORY TIME!

The handicap lady who lives in the apartment underneath me is the most annoying ho I’ve ever had the displeasure of listening to. My bestie and I call her Moaning Myrtle (different story lol). She and her baton death march lookin ass abusive boyfriend were arguing for a good hour. Being right above them, I HEAR EVERYTHING. However, it was less annoying than usual and I was trying to sleep.

Then another guy who lives downstairs goes to knock on their door to tell them to shut it. Mr. Boyfriend gets offended and starts arguing, then screaming, at the other neighbor and they wind up in the courtyard just yelling and arguing and threatening to fight each other like they’re 13 years old.

Mind you these fuck nuts are like 60.

So they’re screaming, being idiots, so I finally get up and go outside... and I’m pissed. I start yelling at them to STFU, and the other neighbor to go home, because he’s clearly drunk, and go the fuck to bed. Then I called the boyfriend Fat Rambo and told him to go the fuck home before I have to call the damn cops because I hear EVERYTHING from his paraplegic ass girlfriend’s apartment. He says he also hears everything from my apartment. I challenge him “what?! What do you hear? NOTHING?! Call the fucking cops. I DARE YOU!!”

He went back inside Moaning Myrtle’s apartment with nothing more to say.

Oh it was so satisfying.

[j-rad-dreams]

Why do we long for love? It almost feels stupid. I guess it’s not that I NEED somebody there; more that I WANT somebody there. Someone to love and adore me as much as I do them. I hate that I fall so quickly anymore, and get so hurt too early and overreact. I get too clingy. I don’t know how to control it. But it sucks.

[white-polaris]

Have you ever experienced that feeling of being alone in a crowd of many, fondly known as friends?

(Via: white-polaris)

[j-rad-dreams]

So many times

[unpretty]

thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit

but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better

it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better

[inkstainedchocolateeyes]

…i did not know this, thank you

[unpretty]

If anyone wants to look it up, the episode was specifically the Deadliest Catch crossover ep, and the myth was that it’s better/safer when working a 30 hour shift to take a 20 minute nap every six hours rather than try to power through. They did an obstacle course test, one without naps and one with, and even though they couldn’t even sleep half the time the naps resulted in their scores doubling.

So actually I undersold it, even if it’s 7:40 and your alarm goes off at 8 just lie down and shut your eyes and it will still be better than nothing

[sneakyfeets]

This was immensely huge for me as someone with anxiety issues. I used to drive myself delirious trying to ‘calm down before I went to sleep’ by staying up and just working myself into a panic. Having this knowledge and knowing that laying down and closing my eyes is a better option and counts as rest was way more helpful, eased my mind and actually sends you to sleep faster.

[j-rad-dreams]

I forgot what love felt like. Then I started watching Naruto again.

[thedoctor-will-save-us]

Series 3: Blink

Follow me on Instagaram @the_doctor_will_save_us!

[j-rad-dreams]

I think for the first time in my life I’m so confused about my sexuality. I thought I liked dick more, but lately I’ve been wanting to be with a chick again.... and then I had both the other night... and now I just want both again. I don’t know what I’m doing. 😭

[j-rad-dreams]

I forgot what having feelings for someone felt like and it’s making me sick. I want to go back to not feeling anything for anyone, thanks.

[j-rad-dreams]

The 12th doctor offered a little girl a jelly baby and I’m literally crying.

[j-rad-dreams]

I’ve never seen a candle so still. That part of me is gone now. I hope I won’t miss you. Even though now I feel so empty. Goodbye, you.

[j-rad-dreams]

Jay Rad please stop being so dumb

So dumb

So dumb

So dumb

So dumb

So dumb

So dumb

Dumb

Dumb

Dumb

Dumb

Done

Done

Done

Done

We are done

With being a silent many

Every voice rings out and carries

No

We won’t just go back

Home

Without you hearing

The sound when the many say

We are done.

[the-greatest-genderqueer]

When you load up on caffeine to make yourself less sad, but instead you just get Accelerated Depression™

[the-greatest-genderqueer]

I love how fucking abstract the concept of Accelerated Depression is. Like, it’s vague as fuck, but we all know what tf it feels like

[j-rad-dreams]

OKAY. But what about that one person who you met that changed your life? That one person that you weren't actually living until you met them? We all have that one person. That one person who completes us. That one person who is your everything? That one person you met that you thought you were fine until you met them???? And what do you do when you can't have that person? Keep living miserably, I guess.