when fiona apple asked “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”. well i have not found an answer but if anyone else has lmk

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@jaanwangji
when fiona apple asked “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”. well i have not found an answer but if anyone else has lmk
[sitting completely still in my own bed] this world is gutting me like a fish
one thing about me is i'm always going to need #mynothing. sometimes I do just want to lay in bed curled up and not speak for a few hours.
unfortunatyely im displaying behaviours. and acting in ways
Gay Awakening AU
~ LOUIS ~
🌈 Elle Me Dit by QuickedWeen @becomeawendybird (3k, E)
Louis Tomlinson is engaged to the first guy she met and started dating in college. On the night of her bachelorette party she and her best friend/Maid of Honor, Harry, get drunk and wonder what they're missing out on.
🌈 When You Know, You Know by scratchyscribbles @jaanwangji (4k, G)
He has been thinking a lot lately, but mostly his thoughts are all scattered about, barely making any sense but successfully giving him a headache to nurse.
Or, Louis has questions he doesn't know how to find the answers of, but he isn't one to back down.
🌈 The Orchards of Jessop by jaerie @jaerie (15k, E)
At age 40, there isn’t much excitement in widower Louis Tomlinson’s life, but wasn’t that the reason he’d moved to Jessop Island in the first place? Back then he hadn’t thought retiring before he reached 30 and moving to the countryside would mean that he’d be doing it alone. Now, just to fill the space, he welcomes lodgers into his home that pass through working as temporary labourers at the orchards just up the road. They’ve all been young adults eager to start lives of their own after one last summer of freedom. All of them have been much the same, coming and going from Louis’ house with just enough social interaction to keep the house from feeling so empty. But when a global pandemic shuts down the world, being quarantined with a quiet twenty year old who keeps to himself might turn out to be an awkward arrangement. By the time the restrictions have been lifted, their relationship has developed into something Louis isn’t quite ready to give up. With their twenty year age difference, Louis has to be prepared for the inevitable outcome when the reality shatters the private world they’ve been living in. He’s not sure he’ll be able to let it go.
🌈 Are you mine? by rxselouis (22k, M)
Louis was sure he had life all figured out, until his path crossed Harry’s. A philosophy student, wearing all kinds of clothing and sneaking into Louis’ dreams more often than he’d like to admit. He tried to push it all away, but at the end it got him. Hit him very hard even.
🌈 Oh, That's What I Want by lululawrence @lululawrence (38k, NR)
“Oh my god, does that mean we get to go dancing?” Liam asked, clapping her hands. “I’m 42 years old, Liam,” Louis said, her voice flat. “I don’t think the place to pick up men my age is at a club downtown.” “Where do you want to pick them up, then?” Zayn asked gently. “Wanna go to a classy bar? We can get all dressed up, show off the tits we didn’t have at 18, and see who we can find.” Louis pursed her lips. “That sounds a lot more my speed, but I was serious when I said I don’t have anything sexy. I haven’t felt sexy in at least a decade, I don’t think.” That made her pause. “Fuck. Our marriage really has been going downhill for a long time, hasn’t it? We had no idea that we’d somehow switched from romantic partners to roommates.” “All the more reason to go out and get you laid,” Zayn said, nodding to herself. Louis is 42 and newly divorced with her four daughters off to college when she realizes all the plans she used to have for her life no longer fit. Just as she's starting to figure things out, she meets Harry Styles who proves sometimes starting over turns out so much better than sticking with the original plan.
🌈 The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by kingsofeverything @kingsofeverything (110k, E)
Louis’ life is steady and calm, moored by his marriage, and tied to his hometown, but after a chance encounter with another man, it’ll never be the same.
~ HARRY ~
🌈 Waiting For The Winds To Change by j_klmnop (21k, E)
After leaving his husband, Harry retreats to a remote beach house owned by a friend to escape the tangled mess his life has become. Looking for nothing but a few weeks of peace and tranquility by the water, Harry plans to get his thoughts in order as he prepares to start his life over again. When a stranger arrives, seeking refuge from an approaching storm, Harry is thrust into a whirlwind romance full of self discovery, some hard truths and more than just a few realisations. As the waves come crashing in, their little bubble bursts and when Louis’ own secrets are revealed, Harry must decide if he’s ready to jump head first into something that could inevitably leave him heartbroken and right back where he started.
🌈 can't even think straight by shimmeringevil @shimmeringevil (34k, E)
His eyes are blue. Sharp cheekbones, long eyelashes and a doll-like face, pretty features contrastingly set in such arrogant disdain. Harry can’t stop staring at him. “Straight,” he blurts out when his eyes drop to the man’s mouth. “I’m straight.” “Thank you for sharing,” the waiter says dryly. The captivating movements of his lips form an even more captivating voice. “Y’alright if I grab your wallet for you, or is there anything else you’d like to get off your chest?” “No, um—no. Sorry. I mean, thank you. Thank you and sorry.” — OR — Harry is definitely straight, even if no one seems to believe him when he tells them. Things change when he meets a pretty stranger who patiently waits for him to figure it all out.
🌈 a little, then suddenly by HoldingOnToChaos @holdingontochaos (34k, E)
Gray-Asexual (demisexual) Harry falls in love and gets attracted to his best friend Louis after fifteen years of friendship.
🌈 but i could be your obsession by staybeautiful @harruandlou (45k, E)
Through the windshield he could see a maintenance road up ahead. “Turn in there.” As Harry was pulling off, Louis pulled open the glove box, dropping both their phones in the cup holders and rifling through the inside of it. “What’s wrong?” Finding the lube, Louis tossed it in Harry's lap. “You’re hot. It’s annoying.” It’s the summer before Louis' senior year of college and he’s spending it getting drunk with his friends, working an internship he hates, and hooking up with Harry, the ‘straight’ frat boy he met in January. There’s only six weeks until school starts.
🌈 Passing By by Larry_you_know @larryyouknow (48k, E)
Sometimes, people are in each other's lives just for the briefest of moments. They meet and then go their separate ways because being vulnerable is scary and it might be easier to not let anybody else in. But some people aren’t meant to be just passing by. Maybe when they open their eyes, they can learn things about themselves they haven’t known before. If they let their hearts speak they will find a way to be together. Or the one where Harry doesn't even know he's into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There's something more to their friendship but it ain't gonna be smooth sailing.
🌈 I would rather go blind by ifiwasabluebird (79k, M)
"What are you doing here, Harry?" Louis asked with confidence, his gaze briefly flickering to Harry's plump lips, a momentary hint of desire flickering in his eyes. "I…" Harry's voice caught in his throat as Louis' gaze travelled downward, coming to rest on his chest. Without hesitation, Louis raised his hands from the desk, bringing them to Harry's chest, helping him button the one he had missed. When he attempted to pull away, Harry's hand shot out and gripped at his wrist. "You're shaking," Louis observed, his eyes shifting to their joined hands before returning to meet Harry's gaze, unwavering. "It's…" Harry cleared his throat. "It's you. You make me… I don't know what is happening to me." "What do you feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "It's… warm," he began, shyly bringing Louis' hand against the centre of his chest over his shirt. "Here." His hand slid down to his stomach, their eyes locked in a powerful gaze. "And here." They remained silent for a moment, both captivated by the intensity of their connection. "Every time you're near me." Or : It's 1960, Harry is a freshman at Oxford, and he cross path with a flamboyant blue eyed boy that is going to change his life.
the moon the moon the moon the moon
reblog with a spoiler for your wip with zero context. no context allowed.
“what’s your aesthetic” it’s super niche actually it’s called clothes i like. hope this helps
made me think of some of you <3
forgive me father for sometimes i just say things