in the woods somewhere

jack wolford. thirty-six. unpaid dad friend. Forget about prince charming. Go for the wolf.

[jackwolford]

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo sort of felt like he was drowning, and here was Jack reaching out a hand to pull him out of the water… but he couldn’t accept. He’d fucked up enough today.

Seriously. Kissing Jack Wolford? What the hell was wrong with him?

Jack had kissed him first, sure, but that didn’t mean anything. He just got caught up in the moment. There was no way Jack could be legitimately interested in him. Awkward, messy him? Not a chance.

“It’s– I’m fine. I’m sorry. I just, I know I need to get some sleep.”

“R---Right.”

It had been awhile since Jack had cause to trip over his words (or himself) this badly. But then, to continue the trend of prodding at unhappy truths, it wasn’t as if he had ever really allowed himself to get into those positions. It was easier to cling to those things, those people that were familiar while keeping the rest at a distance.

Should have known that Theo Boone, of all people, would manage to knock right through those supposedly carefully established lines.

“Just...” 

(What? Forgive me? For what?)

“Sorry, and...uh...don’t blame yourself.”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo’s chest was constricting again, and he could feel the beginnings of a panic attack rising. That was definitely something he didn’t want Jack to bear witness to. He’d already made enough of a fool of himself this evening.

“It– no, it’s fine, it’s okay, just maybe it’d be better– I mean, I just… I need to sleep.”

It was a bullshit excuse, but not because it was false. 

All he knew was that he couldn’t talk about this. At least not right now.

“I’m sorry. I have to go… I mean– I mean you have to. I live here, I shouldn’t– fuck…”

It wasn’t as if Jack hadn’t been aware he had fucked up before, but watching the rising tremor take over Theo only made it worse. He took a half step forward, hands already moving out, before realizing that probably the last thing the other man wanted was to be touched by him right now.

Christ, but he hated feeling this helpless.

“I... I can...” He shook his head. “If you don’t want me here, I can go, but if there’s a way I can help or at least make things easier...?”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo didn’t get the opportunity to ask what he could possibly punch Jack over before–

Well. This.

To say he was unprepared for the kiss was an understatement. In the first second of it happening he could do nothing but freeze in shock. The first thought to come online in his brain was kiss back, idiot.

So he did, clumsy but hungry, with a sharp inhale through his nose. He was content to just keep doing that until about ten seconds later when his brain said, contrary to earlier, what the hell are you doing?!

He broke away quickly, scrambling backwards until his back met the kitchen counter. “Sorry–” he stammered. “I’m sorry.”

It was bad enough when Theo wasn’t kissing back, but then it was all breaking apart and...and why were there apologies?

If anything, Jack had been expecting to be the one doing the apologizing. Even in this day and age, it wasn’t a guarantee that anyone wasn’t entirely straight, let alone unlikely to be upset by all this.

Hell, even Chace was still in the closet over...

Oh. Oh, fuck.

“Um...was that...” 

(Somehow not supposed to be like fireworks in his belly and meant to fill him with the urge to have Theo back in his arms right that very second and---)

“You... You don’t have to apologize for something I messed up, I promise.”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo managed a slightly nervous smile at being told he was doing well, but when he mentioned dipping, his eyes grew saucer wide, and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“The way you hold your knife; The way we danced ‘til three; The way you’ve changed my life. No, no, they can’t take that away from me.”

Without being able to do said speaking up, the next thing he knew, he was being dipped back, their bodies pressed together. Out of instinct his arms had wrapped around Jack’s neck, and now they were barely a breath apart.

Oh, no, thought Theo.

It wasn’t as though Jack was unused to making moves without thinking them all the way through. At this point, it was something he might as well have turned into an actual career.

Still, this was one that he had expected to end in laughter; maybe even a shove to the chest like when he had done this with Emmy. But there was nothing friendly in a move like this, not with how it felt to finally have Theo’s eyes on him.

But, as he tried to remind himself while easing Theo back up, there was always a chance to wind it back down, turn it towards something silly. Except it was a bit difficult to focus on that when he had Theo pressed up close and...

Well, given how many times he had talked himself out of this in the past maybe it was time to finally man up and know for sure. 

“Just don’t punch me, yeah?” 

And, so not to fuck things up any further (because, yeah, that had been romantic, Wolford, the hell) he pressed his mouth over Theo’s.

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Before Theo was fully aware of what was happening, Jack was taking one of his hands and pulling him close. Jack’s other hand encircled his waist, and he hoped he didn’t hear him gasp. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this close to a man. Probably not since school, but those had been faces without names, blurred nights to help make it to mornings.

He didn’t linger on that thought too long because Jack started swaying, moving them slowly about his kitchen floor. All of his attention went to his feet, careful to try not to step on toes. 

By then the song had changed to the second track.

“The way you wear your hat The way you sip your tea The memory of all that No, no they can’t take that away from me

The way your smile just beams The way you sing off key The way you haunt my dreams No, no they can’t take that away from me.”

“Uh, is this right?” he asked. “I don’t feel like this is right.” He imagined it had a lot to do with how tense he was. There wasn’t a lot of grace in staring desperately at your feet, after all… but if he looked up, actually looked at Jack while doing this, he wasn’t sure what would happen.

It was no doubt impolite that the first thing that sprang to Jack’s mind once he got his hands on Theo was that he had made a mistake, but it still lingered there with each step or near sway of their bodies. None of it was made any better by remembering that this wouldn’t have happened without his own nudging. Or, worst yet, by insisting that the two of them were friends.

Because it certainly didn’t feel “friendly” to have Theo this close. Particularly not with how the other man seemed as determined not to meet the gaze Jack kept trying to offer.

Maybe it could be excused with the fact that had simply been awhile; at least outside of the few more “adventurous” tourists that had wanted to go home saying they’d managed to land it with the bartender. Would have been easier if he didn’t have to admit that he had been holding images even sappier than this in his head since high school.

That at least was all he could use to explain for his thumb easing over the small of Theo’s back. “It’s better than most, honestly.” Although that probably had more to do with the company, even if it was awkward. “But, fair warning, if you don’t want me to dip you then it’s probably best to speak up now.”

[jackwolford]

carmendorsey​:

It’s less confidence and more spending a ton of time working on composing them so that you know they’re quality. Should we childproof your phone at night?

I want to say no, but I’ve also seen my late night texts, so instead I’m left here thinking I’m gonna need to lock the actual thing in a drawer each night.

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

“You don’t seem to have any concerns about your own toes here,” Theo said. 

Before he could actually protest though, Jack was filling up more of his personal space. He wasn’t sure what cologne Jack wore– or maybe it was an aftershave– but it was intoxicating enough that whatever excuse he had to get out of it died on his lips. He put his cigarette out in the nearby ash tray and said, “I… guess I could at least try. I’ve been told I need to uh… get out of my comfort zone.”

“Well, I’ve always been a little more reckless than I should.”

Not quite enough to let himself admit how much Theo looked like one of those old timey film stars from the music filling the room, though. It had already been there, in a way, in the sharp line of his jaw, if not those fine cheekbones. The cigarette had really only drawn it into focus, which, God, Jack was reasonably sure it was poor form nowadays to find those attractive.

“Well, in that case, I’m glad to be of assistance, Mr. Boone. ‘sides, it will be fun, promise.”

That part had to be an easy one to make (he could hope).

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

“Oh– uh– no, I mean, I uh– it’s fine, really, I–”

Sure, that was a sentence.

Theo felt dizzy, spun one way with the offer, and the other with the rescinding of it. Ignoring it was absolutely what he should have done, and Jack was quite literally giving him permission, but how was he supposed to just pretend he didn’t ask him to dance?

It gave him this weird fluttery feeling that maybe he hadn’t been misreading these signals… but it couldn’t be possible. Not for him.

“It’s nothing personal,” he said, then realized the implication of it might have been taken the wrong way. “Not because you’re a guy or anything. That doesn’t bother me at all, I mean, it would be ridiculous if it did. I just don’t really dance. Never had the grace for it, and I get uncomfortable if people are watching me. I didn’t even go to prom.”

The knot in Jack’s gut was only getting worse. It might be only a few days into knowing the actual person behind the figure he’d built up in his mind, but he still think Theo was the type to be casually mean. All it was----had to be---was getting let down easy, which he really had no right to complain about it when it was pretty much what his own self had asked for.

Except then he had to acknowledge the rest of what Theo was trying to tell him. And, thank God, he did. Or, well, maybe it was too soon to say that. Because Jack Wolford on the scent of a possible challenge didn’t always end well for those involved.

“Well that’s what practice is for, isn’t it? Or, I mean, if you don’t feel comfortable with it then it’s fine, but that’s how I learned. By doing it with someone...well, with someone I trust.” 

And that was what it all hinged on, wasn’t it? Because it wasn’t like he had the right to demand something like that yet.

“I”m not saying I’m the best, but I don’t bruise Emmy’s toes anymore when we try to dance---she’s very grateful. And, if it helps, I didn’t plan on running to anyone with stories of what happens here anyway.”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Oh, God, we’re friends? That hadn’t even been something Theo had considered. He wasn’t one to gather friends easily. Acquaintances, sure. People liked him well enough as long as he was putting on the face of the young professional doctor… but most didn’t see all of him. They didn’t see the messy side of him.

Of course, it made sense, didn’t it? Jack had gotten at least a glimpse of his messy side at the diner, so maybe that was enough to qualify.

His mom would be so proud.

“No, you’re not imposing!” he said, almost too fast. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just, I– I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay. Really, I’m okay now. Wide awake, even.”

“Stay as long as you like. Make yourself comfortable. All that. I mean, I don’t have a lot of guests here so I don’t have much to offer but surely there’s something.”

Jack was fairly certain that this night had started with him in the role of the put together one. But, if that were the case, it was a position that was rapidly slipping beyond his reach (if it had ever really been his to begin with). All of this seemed like the kind of stupid giddiness he hadn't gotten since back when still a teenager. Which maybe made a bit more sense when one considered that the him from back then would have been losing his damn mind to see where he was now.

"I don't wanna put you out, really." That probably wasn't being sold too well with his lingering smile, but it was damn difficult to tuck that away when Theo seemed determined to be... Well, sweet might really be the only word for it. "It's fine if you just want to chill out on the couch. Maybe see if there's anything on other than infomercials, although I'm always down for mocking those." And, just maybe, Theo might manage to drift off again, which wouldn't be all that bad. Except, of course, that it would leave Jack in the awkward position of still being in his apartment or giving in to the (white knight, Maya would call it; dumb ass is what Emmy probably would) impulse to bundle Theo safely back into bed.

That was the only somewhat fitting excuse he could come up with for why his eyes lingered a little longer than they should on the turntable, expression going softer without even realizing it. "If it wouldn't make me sound like an ass I'd invite you to dance." It took only half a second for him to realize what he had just managed to say and even less time for him to bury his face in his hands. "You know, if you could ignore that I just did that? It'd be superb."

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. He had to look away or he thought he might start crying. God, that would be a mortifying ordeal, crying in front of Jack Wolford at 1 AM in his apartment. He blamed it on the exhaustion making him emotional.

He sniffed, taking a drag off his cigarette, the smoke escaping his mouth in a shuddering breath. At least the tobacco and nicotine grounded him a little, though he couldn’t stop focusing on the warmth of the hand on his shoulder. “Well…” he said, voice croaking out of him like he hadn’t used it in weeks. “If it helps, I think you’re doing just fine, living up to your standards. Which is a compliment from me, because… Well, even with what I said before, I am still a perfectionist.”

“Anyway, I uh… I feel like I’ve kept you too long as it is. It’s so late, and your family is probably worried about you. You don’t have to stay here just to make sure I’m okay.”

It was a dumb move, ducking his head around the grin that threatened to overtake his face, but Jack seemed full of those tonight. Honestly, though, getting approval was one thing. Getting it from someone who seemed to make whatever tricks of the trade you knew seem useless half the time was entirely another.

“They know where I am, it’s no hardship.”

If anything Maya was probably somewhat grateful to get him out of her hair for a night. Although, then again, probably not to be left to wrangle everyone back at the farm entirely on her own. He was definitely going to have to bring back something nice in the morning (and maybe take over some chores). But it’d be worth it.

“And ‘sides, we’re... Well, I’d like to call us friends, yeah? And that makes it worth sticking around.” Except just like that, he winced. “Um, unless you want me to... Shit, if I am imposing, just let me know.”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

Theo was too surprised to even try and hide the tint in his cheeks. “Admired? I– I, I mean, thank you, but it’s really nothing to be impressed by. I can promise that no matter how capable I seemed in high school, I was just as insecure and unsure as everyone else… It wasn’t like I did it alone because I didn’t trust anyone else to do it to my standards. It was more like… I did it alone because if I messed up no one would see me.”

That urge to hide grew stronger. He folded his arms around himself protectively. 

“ My life a wreck you’re making You know I’m yours for just the taking Oh, I tell you I mean it I’m all for you body and soul…”

“There’s nothing admirable about me. I’m just a coward.” He offered a small, sad smile. “I mean, look at the two of us here. I got caught sleeping in a diner, and you’re the leader of the pack. I think you’ve got a better handle on things than I ever could, Jack.”

It was easy enough to tell that probably the last thing Theo had meant to trigger with all that was shame, but Jack felt it all the same; bitter and acidic in the back of his throat. The easy way out would have been to blame it all on his younger self, who probably wouldn’t have approached things with any of the care that was clearly needed. But it wasn’t as if Jack had done much better since Theo had come back; just settling for what Theo had seemed to want.

And, hell, he had even got that wrong.

“But I didn’t need to work for that, not like how you did. It just... It got handed to me.” He winced because that didn’t sound much better. “All I had to do was try to live up to what was needed, but you...” He hesitated for just a moment before shifting to place his hand on Theo’s shoulder, doing the best he could to keep the touch light. Comforting, but, he hoped, not controlling. “Making messes is part of life, but it helps to have people that can help you sort them out. And, God, I’m the last person equipped to judge you.”

[jackwolford]

chaceknight​:

***

He didn’t do this. It was something that Chace reminded himself over and over as he made his way to the farm. His identity, his privacy, it had all been carefully preserved. It had been hidden and carefully preserved away from the rest of the town’s consumption for a reason. Yet, here he was, tossing all of that aside so that he could meet up with Jack Wolford. The irony of it all wasn’t lost on him either. Chace had hardly been the most pro-wolf person in town, not that Jack would know that. Aside from what he shared with Emmy, he kept his sentiments to himself for fear of truly offending someone and forever harming his chance in politics. Even beyond the fact that Jack was a wolf was the fact that Jack was male.

For so long, Chace had done his best to ensure that his sexuality stayed a hidden secret. He had denied himself countless times because it meant that he would not have to come forward with the truth or give someone that bit of information over him. Yet, a bit of flirting with Jack and now he was actually meeting up with the man for…well, for something to happen. Chace wasn’t even entirely sure what they were supposed to be doing. What did he even want to do?

His time to deliberate came to a close as he found himself at the front door of what he had always presumed to be the main house. Only then was he realizing that maybe he hadn’t really planned this with Jack well. With heavy uncertainty, he knocked on the door firmly, waiting for an answer.

It was difficult to tell what with what exactly the knock on the door set his heart to racing. Either way, it was enough to make him roll his eyes at himself well before he opened the door.

At least it wasn’t a hardship to get a smile on his face once he saw Chace. Not that was something he felt able to admit out loud without a hint of embarrassment. At least there was no one around to call him out on it. What with how Chace wanted to avoid the labels that came with small town living, Jakc didn’t think he’d appreciate being swarmed by way too many people wondering what a newcomer was doing here.

That it would keep Jack from having to answer any undoubtedly awkward questions was only a bonus.

“Hey there, good to see you didn’t get lost.” To be fair, the worst that come about was knocking on Maya’s door, who was too much of a sweetheart to lead him astray. The small mercy was that neither Miles or Fletcher had managed to spot him coming up. “I can get you a drink if you want?” 

It wasn’t until Chace was there, of course, that he got to remember neither of them had really spelled out what was to come. But then, getting this far had to count for something.

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

“Oh, uh… Let me check,” Theo said, though he already knew the answer. It was the record he’d put on this morning while he’d had his coffee. He’d only listened to one side of it before having to go, but he didn’t flip it now. Instead, he started it over from the beginning. Out from the speakers came Billie Holiday’s voice.

“My days have grown lonely

For you I cry, for you dear only

Why haven’t you seen it?

I’m all for you, body and soul…”

Theo turned back around, feeling suddenly, inexplicably shy. There was a strong desire to go hide somewhere, but he was pretty sure that would be interpreted as rude. He walked back to his beer, very aware of how close Jack was to him when he did so. This felt like a warm, soft secret, this moment. 

“I guess I’ve always gone about things on my own because it feels… safer. Growing up in the system you sort of have no choice but to become somewhat self-sufficient. Just like I do now with work and everything, you learn how to push through. You discipline yourself. It’s why a scrawny, short guy like me actually fit in in the military, I guess.”

Jack couldn’t be sure what he had expected when the turntable spun to life, but it certainly hadn’t been music he could vaguely remember swaying along to in his grandfather’s house. That would have been more than enough to relax him, but the smile stayed in place when Theo threatened to curve in on himself.

This was important---something that Jack never thought he would have beeb allowed to have---and he intended on treating it as such.

“I won’t lie, it’s always been something I admired in you.” And, shit, hopefully that hadn’t been a way of messing things up. It wasn’t as though Theo had seemed entirely happy when he spelled out how his life had been. “I mean... You just always seemed so capable, even back in high school when everyone else was so unsure. I might’ve wanted to let you know that you didn’t have to do it alone---still do---but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t impressed.”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

“When you have chronic insomnia issues, you do a lot of cleaning, I guess,” Theo said awkwardly, grateful to stick his head into the fridge to cool off the warmth in his face. He snagged two cold bottles and brought them to the counter Jack was leaning against. He busied himself with tidying what little there was, turning on a light that cast a warm glow to the living room. It only took a moment though, leaving him with nothing but to come back to Jack’s side. He opened his beer and took a long swig.

“Um, I’m… not really used to having company. I can’t remember the last time i had someone here. I don’t even really know what I’m supposed to do. Um…” He took another drink. “I guess I really should say thank you for uh… for looking out for me. I guess I’m not that good at doing it. It’s been a long week, what with flue season and all that, and I’ve never been that good at keeping track of my own needs. I’ve gotten used to being tired or hungry. You learn to ignore it when you’re pushing through.”

He blinked, then added, “I didn’t mean for that to come across like I’m in any kind of trouble. I promise I’m actually fine. I’m a relatively functional adult.”

He needed something to do with his hands, so he dug out a cigarette and made his way to his turntable.

“Anyway, so uh, do you like uh, music?”

Idiot. Who doesn’t like music? That’s a stupid question, he thought.

Having already felt at risk of babbling without the aid of alcohol, Jack knew he was doomed as soon as Theo continued talking. There was no point in pretending that it was the alpha that was rumbling in delight over the appreciation. It was just Jack and all his stupid feelings over wanting to be acknowledged by Theo.

God, how long had that been apart of him?

“You’ve been tolerating me being a coddling son of a bitch without snapping, I’d say that’s already better than most.” God, he really shouldn’t have this much fondness in his voice already. “I know you can take care of yourself, it’s just...you already do so much, you know? And, maybe it’s a bit hypocritical, but I wanna make sure you don’t have to go it alone.”

It was something of a blessing when Theo made his way to the turntable, even more so at his offer. “If you think I haven’t been eyeing that up since I came in, you’re dead wrong.” He didn’t try to hide his smile this time, hoping he could let it seem more for the music than for Theo’s comfort. Or, God, maybe not; he didn’t quite know anymore. “What do you have under the needle?”

[jackwolford]

theoboones​:

“I’m not allergic to anything except social situations, but I really don’t want anyone buying stuff for me when I can afford to get it myself. I don’t cook because I don’t really have time. It’s kind of an art and I’m no artist.”

As they were pulling up to his apartment, his heart started thumping again. He dawdled, getting his bike out of the back of the truck with care and precision so that he could stall for time, and then there was nothing left but to lean in the window and say, “So… you can come up for the drink if you want.”

Because he’d rather die of humiliation than be rude. He was raised better than that.

The apartment was on the second floor of a two-story building, with a store underneath it. He liked it because it was close to the clinic, quiet, and a relatively good size for a one-bedroom. He chained his bike to the staircase outside, then climbed the steps to his front door, unlocking it and waving Jack inside.

“Sorry about the mess,” he said.

The apartment was spacious with the kitchen to the right of the doorway, and a vintage turntable on the left. In front of them wash his living room where bookshelves lined the right wall and windows lined the back wall. He’d left the television on, casting a blueish light to the dark room. Off to the left was the short hall to his bedroom and adjoined bath. He’d decorated relatively sparsely aside from the bookshelves which were crammed full of books, with modern, light-wood furniture and a few fake plants. Other than the the empty pizza box on the kitchen island/bar area, the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table, and the blanket tossed over the arm of the couch where he’d fallen asleep last night, the place was absolutely immaculate.

“So, what’ll it be? I have wine, beer, and gin. Pick your poison.”

Jack had already known that he was going to spend a good chunk of time doing all he could to take in Theo’s apartment, but, just like the man himself, the real thing was nothing compared to what he had imagined.

It was difficult to tell where to look first. The plants were fake, which seemed a lot less surprising when he remembered how much of Theo’s time was eaten up already. It wasn’t as if trying to bring over flowers from the farm wouldn’t have been entirely too forwarded anyway.

He was a little too skittish to touch the turntable, afraid of somehow touching the wrong thing or hurting one of the records, but, God, if he didn’t love the thing. The books would have been a safer bet to touch, trying to see what titles were actually there, but he was distracted by Theo’s question.

And, to be entirely honest, the cigarettes on the coffee table, which reminded him of some of his wilder teen years and, at the same time, made it all seem entirely unfair to apply to Theo.

“Beer’s fine.” He braced his forearms against the counter as he leaned over, not entirely able to push away the urge to stay close. “But if this is your version of messy I think I get why you stay away from the farm. That place is a horror show by comparison.”

[carmendorsey]

You ever just spend fifteen minutes looking through your old tweets and thinking that whoever wrote those had such good taste? And then remember that you wrote or retweeted them all, so of course that’s just how it goes.

[jackwolford]

Mine tend to be ones I make late at night then cringe over later, so I admire your confidence.