I am not a lesbian but god she looks fine

Sara once wore my hat on Parahoy

[asurrogateblog]

I can see people’s auras but I don’t believe in that stuff so I just ignore it

[dykecinema]

there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.

[medievalthymes]

how it feels to read 85 pages of a book in one sitting

[the-big-mood]

During a high speed car chase pursuit, the FOX 11 Los Angeles helicopter had an unexpected moment when they spotted a rooster and a chicken casually walking down the sidewalk right in the middle of the pursuit.

[reblogmonstah]

The fact that they were walking 1-3mph

His joy and whimsy at seeing this

His acknowledgement of it not being as interesting as the chase

His little "huh" cuz you know they told him to focus

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

as humiliating as it is to repost myself from a light-mode-user's reddit screenshot, i cannot allow this year's zenquish to go uncelebrated.

celebrate my favorite holiday with me, my friends.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

depending where you are in the world, zenquish is either fast approaching or already over! rejoice!

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[valentinetheeviljester]

Maybe lean out

[valentinetheeviljester]

[stars-bean]

Mamma Mia! (2008) dir. Phyllida Lloyd

[beadyeyes]

Let's fucking grab this Wednesday by the nothing

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[swamp-spirit]

The real horror of a Stepford Wives situation isn't 'the suburbs are creepy' or even 'conformity is creepy' or 'I don't wanna be replaced by a robot'

The horror is the idea that you might choose to spend your life with somebody only to realize they don't actually want a partner and friend, somebody with ambitions and thoughts and joy. They want somebody productive, compliant, and sexually available, and all your internal life is nothing but a barrier to that. That the person you love only loves what you do for them, and the less of the an actual person you are, the happier they are.

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[campmiasmas]

[gothhabiba]

if the Hunger Games were real you know you'd have liberals saying things like "it's so cool how the Hunger Games allow anybody a chance to win, it's so democratic" and "it's great to have some District 12 representation amongst the winners of the Hunger Games" and "we need to make sure that young girls receive just as much Hunger Games combat training as young boys #feminism"

[princesssokphanny]

A once-in-a-lifetime shot — the moon perfectly framed by a rainbow. Caught at just the right time. 🌈 🌕

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

A whole lot of military films will be coming out soon. You'll see older ones showing up on streaming service and new ones soon to follow. Sure, a few are, in fact, very good movies. But here's the caution:

Any film featuring the US military is paid for by the US military. They have the final word on what comes out. These films are recruitment tools. Same applies to TV shows, and doubtless many will soon be showing up.

Do not be fooled by these films and shows. They are designed to bring in new recruits. When these are released, there is a surge in new people enlisting in the military. These recruits swiftly discover they were fed bullshit, but now they're stuck due to a contract. Going AWOL, away without leave, is desertion. You will be caught and put on trial for desertion, and they are not light with the sentencing.

Please, for the love of fuck, do not enlist with the military. You are cannon fodder. They do not care about you.

Recruiters are told to lie. To do whatever it fucking takes to enlist new people. Do not fucking fall for it.

These films and shows are recruitment tools paid for by the military. It's why they're so big, glamorous, and quickly made. Enjoy what you see, but don't sign up. It's a fucking lie.

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.