[draco-pavlovic]

[He watches her quietly; but it’s a restless sort of quiet, a quiet that yearns to be something darker and better and bloodier- but no, that is not what Draco needs to do here, no matter how much me might want to. He needs to persuade her that he cares, (an emotion he has not expressed honestly to anyone since he was a child), and he needs to do it to perfection. Luckily, he’s had plenty of practice.] He made me angry. He…he was disrespectful. If it makes you feel better, he did land a few punches of his own. Honestly, it was pretty even with the injuries, besides his wrist.

[jade-holloway]

You can't just hit people because they make you angry, or did you skip that day of kindergarten? [But he does look sorry; she's just not sure if it's practiced or genuine. And his eyes are so blue and his jaws are so chiseled and he's just this short of physical perfection that her less-than-stellar judgement is clouded even further.] We take care of each other in here. You might want someone in your corner later, and that's not gonna happen if you keep putting people in the infirmary just for pissing you off.

[damien--stark-blog]

It's Funny

[damien--stark-blog]

I am the same as I am always, Jade — labeled as creepy by the masses. As for preparation, I am referring to the panic that will soon occur as the storm gets worse.

[jade-holloway]

It's like they've never seen a storm before, everyone's freaking out. It is pretty cool in like, a spooky way, though, with the lights flickering and stuff. So what are you going to be doing for the next few days, you guys are stuck here, right?

[jade-holloway]

You know what I miss?

[derrick-pascal]

I… [The question makes him swallow a bit, because it comes with the surfacing of things he’s been asking himself for ages.] I think… that… it’s about a balance, maybe. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and I think me being with someone who was just like me, would be a disaster waiting to happen. Oliver was… perfect to me. And I did sorta see him like an angel, you know? I still do… and I wasn’t able to be… well, I was always on edge, with him. I had a hard time accepting myself and… finding a way to not be constantly afraid of snapping him. He was too vulnerable in my eyes… He hated that, but I’ll admit I had a hard time not seeing it that way.

Syd’s…  different. He hates confrontation for the most part and he’s… well he was my best friend. We saw each other as equals and his personality is so out there that I’ve always been able to be more myself with him, less afraid of hurting him in that way, you know? He’s more capable of handling it, I think. I mean, in my eyes, he is, anyway. I’m sure Oliver would disagree… I just… we just have a different relationship. We’re more… on par with each other I think, so that’s made it easier. I see him as less immaculately innocent, so it’s easier for me to not see myself as so terrible in comparison. But he’s.. perfect to me in his imperfection, you know? Sorry, I’m blabbering…

[jade-holloway]

[She shakes her head, smiling.] No, it's nice to have someone to talk about this, actually. I don't like to talk about Jeremy with therapists--well, I don't like to talk to therapists, period--and it's not like I can talk to him about this stuff.

[damien--stark-blog]

It's Funny

How the lights decide to go out on a secluded island with a storm that is supposed to be the worse to hit London in years. It sounds like the ideal set up for a horror movie. I wonder if I shall start preparing. -For what he does not say, but he wouldn’t mind wheeling out a few useless bodies from inside the corridors-

[jade-holloway]

Aren't you extra creepy today, Dr. Stark.

Prepare for what?

[rmhaesung]

"This notebook belongs to Yuuta."

[rmhaesung]

[Ducking his head in a nod, he brings his hands together before writing.]

Yes. Is it apparent? I do not think looking new is a good thing. Does it mean I will be targeted?

[He’s half-joking, but writing it always makes his words seem too serious. So Yuuta allows himself a small smile, a crease of his eyes, as he shows the page to her.]

[jade-holloway]

Sort of, to your first question: if you haven't noticed by now, we're on an island. We stay here day in and day out, and once you see the same faces so many times the new ones tend to stick out. But more importantly, all the new people have that look about them. Some try to hide it, others don't, or can't. But they all have it. Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. As long as you stay away from the really dangerous people--who'd target you if they wanted, whether you were new or not--no one's gonna give you any trouble just for being new. And if they do, you come see me. [She smiles.]

[fletcher-kai-deactivated2014021]

To hell with that.

[fletcher-kai-deactivated2014021]

[ Kai looks at her in mild confusion at what she meant. Of course - He realizes the way he looks at people now is a mix of fear and almost disgust but it had nothing to do with them… And yet it did. ] I look at everyone like this. [ He confesses stiffly, crossing his arms in a defensive motion and scratches at his shoulder, glancing away from her as guilt creeps up on him. ]

[ He gives a small bitter laugh ] Yeah…? [ Giving a glance up, his jaw clenches, feeling slightly sick for even thinking about mentioning a part of why he was here ] You’re saying you wouldn’t try to taunt me with the knowledge that I don’t even want anyone near me? This really is a “It’s not you, it’s me” moment, so…. I really don’t mean to make you think I find you disgusting or anything.

[jade-holloway]

[Jade's expression softens as she understands--a little--about why he was looking at her that way. Not that it hurt any less, but he couldn't help it, any more than she needed people to not look at her like that. Jade wants, needs, to feel wanted, loved, adored. Kai couldn't give her that, but if she walked away now, she'd be just like all those other people who used her for what they wanted, and left. She doesn't want to be like those people, not anymore.] You don't want me to think you think I'm disgusting. Well, way to sweep a girl off her feet there, Romeo.

But I meant what I said. It's fine, that you don't want me so close. ['Liar.' She takes a step away from the tall stranger.] All you had to do was say so. 

[lake-valentine]

Um okay so it's like... dark.

And storms are cool and shit but like, NOT WHEN YOU’RE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL WHERE PEOPLE ARE EVIL AND THREATEN BALLS WITH SHARP THINGS.

Yeah, yeah that’s right, I HEAR THESE STORIES. And now I’m scared and want to like, die a little bit. But NOT die, which is sort of the point.

Oh my god I’m actually like, living nightmare on creepy island, which isn’t a movie title but it’s probably like the plot of 900 movies, because let’s be honest, nothing’s original anymore.

[jade-holloway]

[Jade sees Lake pacing back and forth, muttering about evil people and creepy storms, and she can't help but stifle a laugh, touching his shoulder from behind him.] I'm sorry, but who's been threatening your balls with sharp things? That's the last thing I'd want to do to your balls. [She winks.] Relax, Lake. You're not going to die.

[jade-holloway]

You know what I miss?

[derrick-pascal]

I know what you mean… being with… Syd has been different from being with Oli in that way… I feel a bit less like a devil clinging to an angel. [It’s awkward to talk about, but Jade is feeling vulnerable and he wants to be supportive] Syd’s… perfect to me, but it’s still easier to feel on par with him. With Oliver he always felt unearthly good. So much so that it made me feel guilty. Not that I loved him any less for it... [He frowns slightly—he should call him. He misses him and it hurts] 

Anyway, I won’t say anything love. You can talk to me, you know? I’m good for it. [A soft grin] 

[jade-holloway]

Thanks. [Jade smiles at Derrick; the two talk less often than she'd like, being busy with their strict schedules and personal lives, but when they do she feels like he understands her. He was the first person who was kind to her in Belv, and no matter where they left off, they always clicked in an inexplicable way. Which is why, after his assurance that her confession would be in confidence, Jade asks him something she's been too afraid to ask herself.] I know you're happy with Oliver, and how upset you were when he left... And I know you're happy with Syd, too, but...

Do you think it's better, being with someone like yourself? Angels with angels, devils with devils?

[fletcher-kai-deactivated2014021]

To hell with that.

[fletcher-kai-deactivated2014021]

[ As Jade rants on, Kai couldn’t help but feel a little pessimistic. Not just a diagnosis? That’s what he was reduced to now - Fucking hell, he couldn’t even function in a normal life anymore. All he was was his illness, his disorder - A long name that holds everything he is in a jam packed box of failure. Though as the one diagnosis slips off her tongue, his eyes glance up in a mixture or surprise and growing fear. Dear god, if there was anyone who was going to be his worst enemy, he was starting to think she’d be it. His skin was already crawling and his palms sweating with the thought of it. ] 

A name doesn’t do you any good when all people see is something else whenever they hear it. [ The words were edgy and persistent, just like his determination was while practicing every day before he gave up gymnastics. Though they were falling of deaf ears it seems and he gave a soft sigh through his nose. ] And before you ask, what I’m in here for is not going to do you any good so there is no use knowing it. [ It was a fear of what people would do if they knew that caused him uncertainty to reveal it. If someone knew, they could use it to taunt him at every turn and he struggled enough day to day as it was ]

[jade-holloway]

["All people see is something else..." Jade is no stranger to that.] You mean, kind of like how you're looking at me right now?

I wasn't asking why you were in here. But even if you told me, I don't care about what I could get out of you.

[jeremyascott]

Okay, um… Uh… [ Jeremy desperately thinks of ways to backpedal. This seems like a terrible idea all of a sudden, really dreadful, and he wonders why he thought of it at all. The first thing to do is fumble for words because if he just handed it over, he could think of one way in particular in which the gift could be misconstrued ] I-it’s a… it’s nothing really, I just wanted to, uh… what it is… [ By this point Jeremy is frustrated with his own stuttering. It’s not like he’s asking her to marry him, but he’s terrified she might laugh at him or think this is too much ] I got you a p-promise ring because I want you to know that I mean it when I say I’m not going to leave you whatever happens. I want to be with you, and I-I really love you, so um, yeah, this is… a promise that I’m always going to be here for you.

[ Before he can ramble on any further, Jeremy forces himself to shut up. If he didn’t, he’d probably ramble on for another twenty minutes and embarrass himself more, if that was even possible. He felt like an idiot as he fumbled in his pocket for the box, a complete idiot; because he wasn’t yet nineteen and yet here he was giving his girlfriend a ring, albeit not the most serious sort, and making promises that three months ago he surely wouldn’t have had the emotional maturity for. In fact, he might still not. There’s those doubts in his mind, always, questioning what he’s doing and telling him he’s probably wrong. The best he can do is hope. Hope that Jade understands what he’s getting at and that he has only the naivest, most pure intentions. The ring, that is brought out with the last few stumbles of his words, is simple but (Jeremy hopes) beautiful. It’s just a small diamond on a silver band, with an even tinier emerald flanking it on either side, and it slides easily onto the middle finger of Jade’s left hand; maybe a little too easily, but he hadn’t known what size to get. He’s glad he chose one with emeralds, because they make Jade’s eyes look greener and her hair look redder and he really, really, really hopes that she doesn’t mind that his palms have gone a bit sweaty as he touches her small hand to put the ring on. ]

[jade-holloway]

[Jade laughs when Jeremy starts mumbling about her present, and her curiosity grows as he fumbles in his pocket for the small velvet box. But then he tells her what it is, and Jade suddenly finds it a lot harder to laugh. A promise ring. "How tacky," she would have scoffed just a few months ago.

She knows you shouldn't make promises you can't keep, but for the first time, she wants to anyway. Jade wonders if this is the most selfish thing she could do, or the least. She wants him to promise that yes, he'll always be there for her, even if she's not sure she can promise the same. Even still, she wants to make that promise too anyway; it would make him happy, and if anyone deserves to be happy, it's Jeremy. Would it make her happy? Is that feeling in her stomach happiness, or crippling fear? She stares at her finger, the cold silver slowing warming now against her skin. Her head reels, thinking about nothing and everything. She wonders if she's ready for this kind of commitment, and; 'Is this a real diamond?' and; she realizes she's been quiet for too long, the silence must be killing him; and she notices how strange it is that she has so much difficulty figuring out her own feelings, when Jeremy's thoughts are easier to read. She can feel the tension rolling off him before she even looks into his eyes.]

Okay. But when you propose I want a bigger ring. [Which is probably the worst thing to say, but hiding behind her perverted sense of humor is a knee-jerk reflex for Jade, especially when it comes to tense situations. The deadpan delivery at least serves to cut the tension somewhat, and she gives him a small grin.]

[emmastonesdaily]

[jade-holloway]

You know what I miss?

[derrick-pascal]

[He nods, reaching forward to graze her elbow with his fingers] I hear ya lovely. I know exactly how you feel. That was the entirety of my relationship with Oliver… well, no, it was wonderful and I… [he misses him too much to talk about him. Talking about him makes it worse. He swallows, shaking his head] Anyway, I just know how you feel. Constantly walking on eggshells, convinced you’ll make a mistake and hurt them, as you’re convinced you always do.

I guess i’m not the best person to scold you on your lack of faith in yourself when I’m possibly the most self-deprecating sod in the place.

[jade-holloway]

[Jade sighs; that's exactly how she feels around Jeremy, too.] He's just so good, and I love him for that, I really do, but... I don't resent it, per se, but I wish I didn't always have to be the bad guy. I know it's not his fault, I should just be better, then everything would be fine.

[She raises her head sharply and looks around, like she's worried Jeremy might be around the corner, listening.] But don't tell anyone I said this, though, okay? You know what he's like, I don't want him to feel guilty for my stupid insecurities.

[laylamansfield]

[She’s glad that Jade says that, the first part about her being unlikely to return someone’s affection. It means her veneer is still effective, and people believe she’s as hateful as she acts.] Does all of your worldly wisdom sound as though it comes from an eighties rock song?

[jade-holloway]

Yes, actually. [She grins, and rattles off the most cliched classic rock titles she can think of.] With a Little Help from My Friends, Don’t Stop Believin’, You Can’t Always Get What You Want, Go Your Own Way…

[jeremyascott]

If I told you I got you a present, would that refresh your memories a little? [ He brushes the hair out of Jade’s face, because she’s so close it tickles his own cheeks and because he wants to see her properly again, without the lack of focus that comes with standing too close, or the tendrils of red hair that serve to hide her from him. In fact, Jeremy had been planning on waiting a little longer before he gave Jade her present. His natural tendency towards procrastination and anxiety made it so, and presents are much the worst; you never know if the recipient will like it. But nerves win out, as they so often do with Jeremy, and he blurts it out before he can stop himself ] 

[jade-holloway]

[Jade's smile grows even brighter, and her eyes sparkle as she jumps up and down excitedly.] Oh, a present! Gimme gimme gimme!

[jeremyascott]

[ Jade had grown less difficult to find over the months they had known each other, and he’s glad to see that at least that hasn’t changed. She’s there, as he had hoped, sitting at the end of the corridor where the light falls in elegant strips across the floor; an image that manages to be warm even in the chill of November sunlight, but then maybe that was just Jade’s presence. He nudges her foot with his own, offering a hand to help her stand from her position seated on the floor. The greeting he chirrups is relaxed and bright, the wry pseudo-confidence that everyone knows is a quiet boy trying not to make others uncomfortable with his own lack of confidence, but the goofy grin on his face betrays the fact that he’s anything but relaxed ] Hello. Miss me?

[jade-holloway]

[When Jade sits here, all by herself, she can almost feel him next to her. She can pretend his fingertips are just a hair's breadth away from her own. Lost in her thoughts, she doesn't notice the real Jeremy until he's standing in front of her. Her eyes go wide, and if she were a different kind of crazy she'd be concerned she was hallucinating. But she knows she's not, as Jade takes his hand and stands, jumping into his arms. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed him until now. Jade has never needed glasses. Neither has Theo or her mother. But they say when people get glasses for the first time and see the leaves on the trees, it's only then that they realize what they've been missing. She stands on tiptoe and gives him a soft kiss. She doesn't want to get carried away, not today. When they part she flashes him a mischievous grin.] Not really. I forgot all about you.

[charlenewoods-blog-blog]

Oh, I’m not crazy. Criminal, maybe. But crazy? No. [She pokes her fork around her salad before letting it go with a huff of tired frustration.] I’m not even supposed to be here.

[jade-holloway]

Criminal? What'd you do?

[draco-pavlovic]

Ah, but love, every look is a good look on me. [He says it like he said before- with a light veneer of nonchalance- speaking part truths, part lies, and the deception is easy, weaving itself into every fibre of his voice, his stance. But she doesn’t know that. She only sees his remorse and unhappiness at her anger. And it’s going to stay that way.]

[jade-holloway]

Don't call me that; I'm not your 'love.' [Her voice is irritable as she shoots an angry glance at him, but there's a sadness in his eyes that does something to her. The broken girl couldn't resist broken boys; how typical. But she's not so naive anymore, she tells herself, and after a tense pause she opens her mouth again. Men have been watching her lips move since before it was ever okay to do so, but few ever cared about the words that came out of them. But it's obvious Draco cares about what she thinks of him, she just doesn't understand why.] If I asked you why you did it, would you tell me?