She was so much taller than he had remembered; that was the first thing Jeremy noticed as his sister threw her arms around him. Shot up like a little beanstalk, and it made him sad. The world carried on growing and changing and evolving always, as he and the others remained stuck, as if in mud, at Belvedere. They went nowhere, always chasing their tails it seemed, and any progress was simply cosmetic. If the improvements Jeremy had made were truly anything more than cosmetic, he would be allowed out properly and not just for a few weeks.
But they were sad thoughts, the broken soliloquies of a sad boy that Jeremy wearied of. Now with the cold November sun on his skin and a true sky, not that which filtered in through the caged air around the hospital, he made an effort to be cheery. It was less difficult than he might have imagined; Cassie was there and she smiled bravely, and his mother, too; her smile a little paler, a little tighter. Her husband was a monster, but that wasn't enough to make her fall out of love. Though the marriage had been a convenience for both sides of the family, they did love one another really. She more than he, perhaps, but they were undoubtedly in love.Â
It was worrying, almost, how little time she spent with them. They had taken to a hotel, naturally five star because old habits die hard and the Ascotts knew nothing else, even if it was a little odd without the patriarch there to lead them. They felt directionless; father in prison awaiting his court case, eldest brother dead. Jeremy supposed that made him the head of the family, but it didn't feel right somehow. He never had been a leader.
Though the role seemed to be thrust upon him, almost: their mother disappeared into the bathroom, enveloped in the warm, clean scent of perfumed talc to bathe, and refused any requests for dinner. It became apparent that she would not take food, and so Jeremy led Cassie down to the hotel's restaurant where the food was billed to their room.
No. A bit, maybe. Not really.
You're a terrible liar. It's okay, really. I'm scared.
I'm a fucking good liar, actually. Good enough that I got away without doing my homework maybe three times already this term.
Cassie! Don't fucking swear at the table. - A grin, then, and Jeremy catapulted a pea at his younger sister from his silver fork - And I hope three times is all it is. Don't grow up into a filthy degenerate like me, no A levels and just loafing around going nowhere.
Oh, you're going places, Jem. Like the wedding chapel. With your g-i-r-l-f-r-i-e-n-d, who is still so incredibly out of your league by the by. -She stuck her pointy little tongue out as Jeremy spluttered, trying not to choke on his water as the other patrons stared. At eighteen and thirteen, they were by far the youngest in the room- And if you throw any more peas at me, I'm telling mum you were being mean. So there.
You're such a rat! I don't have to put up with this, you know. There's plenty I could tease you about, but I don't, being the mature human being that I am.
I'm very mature for my age. Precocious. My report card said that and everything.
Didn't it also say you had the loudest voice in the room and were in the habit of arguing with anyone and everyone?
By the time they returned to the sanctuary of their hotel room, their mother was asleep. Jeremy wondered vaguely whether she was depressed; or whether his mind was led there only because he was surrounded by clipboard diagnoses every day for what must be seven or eight months.
The rest of the night was spent stretched out on the sofa with numb legs because Cassie decided the only comfortable seat was across Jeremy's shins, watching scary films to distract themselves from the more abject fear that would come in the following days.
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