i will tattoo your name on my arm before i expire if it will make it any easier for you to stand over my body.
buy me some fake roses. iāll love you, satisfaction guaranteed. call my number if you have complaints. iāll refund your fucking plastic.
iād much rather be up north, smoking indica. god knows iām not much of a fighter.
cold sheets. coffee. bruises. the past six years. i want the flowers to dieāgive me winter. butterfly kisses. head sickness.
i donāt trust you. think me into my grave. i donāt want to be alone.
iām tired of your eyes. pupils blown wide.
love,
or lust,
or drugs?
maybe the second two.
you fell asleep on the other side of town, the other end of the phone call. sugar spins & vaporizes over my tongue; your skin is crystallized. hickeys bright, bite at my throat. take me out of my head; make me forget. steal me from my body for a night. i need your eyes. i need your sunrise.
only for one night, if thatās all you can give. foreign language in my mouth. foreign bodies depleting my serotonināat least thatās how it feels. labyrinths of dopamine & adrenaline.
will things be easier after?
will i forget the sea & the needles & the bones not quite made for me?
girls like me
arenāt the type you fall in love with.
you leave me in a blank field, under a quiet moon. it pulls the waves closer to me; my lungs are already suffocating, filled to the brim with dead rose petals. iāll tear this esophagus to shreds if i can get the thorns to stop scraping my throat.
where is god?
i need you.
a neighborhood of skeletons. a house of words hidden behind thin walls. i donāt have many balloons this year, & iām gagging on your confetti.
ballet shoes. black boots. iām a fraud.
eat my heart out. iāll give you everything. i donāt want it anymore. swallow every hummingbird that flutters behind my rib cage. iām ready for you.
be ready for me.
i wonāt be persephone. a wedding in hell, vacations in the underworld. it isnāt for me.
stay here, or i will go. i will leave through the forest in japan.
iāll wrap my bones up for you,
complete with ribbons & bows;
color my marrow in with paint
or markers.
whatever youād like.
ashes to ashes.
skulls to skulls.
i have forgotten the butterflies in the snow, the flowers in the road. i know what youāre addicted to. itās okay. in another life, i could be, too. cat-eyed. demonized.
iāll walk across the cemetery to see you. barefoot. lipstick stains on your gravestone. iāll clean them off with my sleeve, slip right through the earth. iāve found you.
iāll wait patiently for you to leave me.
the end of your kiss
is the beginning of my body,
reforming,
coming back for another life.
a child is in school. he says, āgood morning, sunshine.ā a little girl falls for it. a teacher hands him an eraser. he takes it to her paper skin,
& i am gone.
areudirty
stormborns
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