jamesy boy.

It breaks Rosie’s heart to hear the words, but she is determined to reassure him with any doubts he has, she wants to have him smiling, no matter how long it takes. She looks up at him, hoping he can see the sincerity in her eyes, “Maybe that’s been true up until now, but it’s not true anymore. I am not going to leave you, I’m not going to let you feel that you have nothing good anymore. I am here for the long haul, James. This is new for both of us, I think, and it’s going to be confusing and we’re both a little scared for the future, but I love you, and if you want the same things I do, we’re going to grow old together and I am going to do everything I can to make sure you are always smiling or at least happy.” When he kisses her, she kisses back, indescribable joy filling her heart at the fact that this is going to be something that she gets to do whenever she wants now. When he starts speaking again, she frowns, cupping his cheeks, “James, I will never do something I’m not comfortable with you, I promise I don’t and won’t feel obligated to do anything. I don’t know if you remember how much I had to drink last night, but it wasn’t very much, I was tipsy at most. Nothing I said last night was drunken babble. Obviously I want my first time to be more special than that, but the things leading up to that… I want to do all of it, you never have to worry about me not wanting to do something with you, and if I don’t want to, I will say no, I promise.” She took this chance to get up off her knees and move into his lap, straddling him so he wouldn’t have to lean down to kiss her, “I don’t want to rush everything either, but I don’t want to wait too long to touch you, be touched by you. For three years I’ve wanted to be with you like that, knowing I can makes me not want to wait long at all, but I’m also going to go at a pace that you’re comfortable with too. Like if you want to wait a few weeks, we can. I mean obviously we’re not going to have sex in this house but there are some things we can do here…”

the last of his resolve disappears. he can forget what he’s done for a while, he thinks - pretend the hands that grip rosie like a lifeline, gentle but firm, have never done harm. her words have the echo of a promise in them, and james finds himself hoping this will be the first one that hasn’t been broken. he’s forced to look her in the eye since her hands are framing his face, and he listens intently. he’s somewhat reassured, but if he’s honest he really can’t remember how much she had to drink - or how much he had. he does, however, have very vivid recollections of other things, and he can feel his cheeks begin to warm somewhat as she moves on top of him, his hands automatically settling on her waist. “i want to touch you too,” he murmurs, his voice huskier than he meant for it to be. “i - fuck, it’s not that i want to wait, princess, it’s just.... i don’t know. i don’t think it’s a good idea to just dive in, you know?? even if we want to. i don’t know if you’d be, uhm, ready for it. i just - fuck. have you seriously never orgasmed before?”

She’s never seen him look so small, he looks scared and she can see why it’d be a little scary telling someone you love them for the first time, hell, she herself knows exactly what it’s like, though he had to know that she would return the words, that she would tell him that she felt exactly the same and always would. She smiles reassuringly up at him, showing him that it was okay, he didn’t need to be so scared with her. “You’re not going to mess this up, you’re not going to scare me away either. I may have never been in a relationship before, but I do know that no relationship is perfect, no matter how hard you try not to, you’ll hurt me and make me upset, and I’ll do the same to you, but we’re also going to make each other happy. Really happy, happy enough that the bad stuff won’t matter. You know, I’m less fragile than you think, James. You don’t have to treat me like I’ll fall apart underneath your fingers, I love you and I trust you and I know that you’re going to protect me, just like I’m going to protect you.” She wiped away the few tears that had fallen from his eyes, not able to stop the smile on her face, “I know I shouldn’t be so happy about this, but I am. Knowing that you couldn’t kiss anyone because I was on your mind kind of gives be butterflies.” She bit her lip and wished away the blush, knowing there was no use, he constantly caused the redness in her cheeks. “It also makes me happy knowing you never have to worry about that again, because I will always be here to kiss you, and more, you’ll never have to go without any of those things again because of your heart.”

he rests his head in the crook of her neck while she talks, arms around her firmly. he’s weak - but maybe that’s okay. as long as rosie was around to make him strong again, it was okay to be weak. so he just holds her and listens to her reassurances, heart swelling in his chest until it felt like he couldn’t breathe in the most beautiful way possible. “nothing good stays in my life for very long.” the admission is stark, and he continues like he hasn’t just aired his biggest concern. he lifts his head to search her face earnestly. “but you’re right. i’m going to do my best. and damned right, i’m going to protect you. always have. and - as long as you want me, i’m yours, princess.” her smile does things to his heart, and he can’t help but kiss her, just for a moment before he pulls away with obvious concern. “i don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything,” he mumbles, somewhat embarrassed. “i know we moved really fast last night, but.... that’s not how i want this to go. i don’t want to do anything in a hurry, or make you do anything you don’t want to just because you don’t want to say no to me or something.”

#ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ᴡʜᴏ ᴇxɪsᴛs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀɪɴs. ( james )

dailybellamyblake

You think you’re guard material, kid?

jbpurpose

#ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ᴡʜᴏ ᴇxɪsᴛs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀɪɴs. ( james )

Hearing those words feels almost like a dream, like she’ll wake up any second and have the love be just as unrequited as it has been for the past three years, but it’s not a dream and this is really happening and she can’t hold the tears back then, they fall down her cheeks and she’s in shock, still can’t completely process what this means. He loves her too, he loves her and he’s loved her all this time and she wants to scream and fall over and bawl her eyes out all at once, but instead she crouches down, gets on her knees, kisses the top of his head before her hands are on his cheeks, pulling him to look at her and then her lips are on his and this kiss is so different from all the others because he loves her too. Her silly thoughts that all he wanted to do was sleep with her were so far from the truth that she couldn’t believe she’d ever let herself think it. She kisses him like it’s their first and their last and she never wants to stop, but she pulls away after a few moments, her lips then moving to press to his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, before she pecks his lips once more. Resting her forehead on his, she looks into his eyes, “I know you don’t see it right now, but you are what’s best for me. You are. You make me happier than anyone else has ever been able to, you — you’re everything to me, I really want you to see that. I can’t imagine a life where you weren’t such a big part of it. I’m going to show you that you are what I need, that you and me, we’re good together, I’m good for you and you’re good for me.” She bit her lip, a little laugh falling from her lips. “Is that why you haven’t had sex in three years?”

she drops to her knees and all he can do is look her in the eye, his eyes wide and vulnerable and scared. he can’t be sure but he thinks he may have let a few tears fall while she’s kissing him breathless - but it’ll be okay, he hopes, because she knows it’s hard for him. she understands. she’s always understood. and on top of that he’s sure she knows his hands are shaking harder than his breathing is after she pulls away, and he’s pretty sure she can feel them shaking when he reaches to brush her hair away from her face so he can see her better. “i don’t want to mess this up,” james confesses in a whisper. “i’m going make mistakes, rosie. i always do. and i’m going to do stupid shit, and i’m going to get hurt, and you might get hurt too. but.... i love you.” the words still taste strange on his tongue, like a gear that’s rusted from misuse - but he repeats them again, and it hurts and feels really fucking good all at the same time. “i love you enough to try as hard as i can, okay?? and i’m sorry for whatever happens ahead of time. i’d never hurt you on purpose.” he gives a breathless laugh, pulling back a little to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. “yeah. like i said last night - it’s just not the same when you’ve got someone on your mind. i couldn’t do it. it felt wrong. in the beginning, i tried, but i just kept thinking about you. your smile, your laugh, the way you always looked so damn excited to see me.... and i couldn’t even kiss ‘em.”

Rosie thought about the women coming in and seeing her like this and she didn’t like the thought of that. She licked her lips before saying a little quieter, “No, please, I don’t want them to see this. I’m going to open the door and you need to come in, with your eyes closed and get this dress off me. I think it’s stuck on my bra or something. God, this is so embarrassing, can you do this please? Keep your eyes closed, though.” She said, managing to reach down and open the door, making sure to stay behind it so no one would look in and see. She herself couldn’t even see anything so she hoped that she was staying out of sight. “Quick.”

his eyebrows furrows at the obvious distress in her tone, taking a step closer to the door. james had been right about to ask if she was sure when the door was opening, and he steps inside, eyes shut tight as he closes the door. “uhm - where are you??” he reaches out blindly, carefully, his fingers touching the fabric of the dress when he finds her. “oh.” (for a second, he almost laughs. only rosie would get herself into this situation.) this is.... not ideal. with his eyes closed he can’t see anything (no shit, right), so there’s not really a way to help her. after a moment of hesitation, he opens his eyes - it’s not really that bad, right?? he can’t see anything, and he’s just trying to help. “okay, you said - you said it was stuck on your bra??” james swallows hard and steps closer, suddenly extremely nervous.

#ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ·ᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ. ( thoughts )

wnq-writers

She will love you unconditionally, and that may be the saddest part about her.

darlap (via wnq-writers)

picsglam

#ᴏʜ ʙᴀʙʏ ɢɪʀʟ; ᴅᴏɴ·ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴇᴅɢᴇs. ( rosie )

fyeahbellarke

#ᴏʜ ʙᴀʙʏ ɢɪʀʟ; ᴅᴏɴ·ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴇᴅɢᴇs. ( rosie )

“Of course, you can ask me anything you need, James, you know I’m always here.” Thought at his request, she frowns, not sure why he was making her do this. She would tell him, over and over if he needed to hear it, but she was pretty sure it’d break her heart every time he didn’t say it back. She licked her lips and sighed, fingers going through his hair as she looked down at his head on her stomach. “I love you. I have for three years. I’m in love with you.” She bit her lip and looked up, as to will the tears not to form in her eyes. “I think you’re it for me.”

his grip on her tightens - three goddamned years, three years they’ve been pining over each other and this is how it ends. he takes a deep breathe and prepares to jump, the anxiety making his heart race until it feels like he’s going to explode. in actuality, the pause he gives is much shorter than it feels to him, because on repeat in his head is you’re it for me you’re it for me you’re it for me and he has poems he wants to recite to her, he has things he wants to tell her about how she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever met and how she’s in his head twent-four-seven, but instead he chokes on the words and they come out n a soft murmur, “i love you, too.” he doesn’t look at her, can’t look at her, and the tears burn his eyes and his voice breaks as he speak. “for three years. it’s been you. i’m sorry for not telling you sooner, i just - i just want what’s best for you and god knows i’m not it. but i love you. i’m sorry.”