[jamesdeerest]

masterlist

about me!

my name is india! i love to bake, to read and to buy as much snoopy/miffy merch as possible.

current obsessions are: steve harrington, gator tillman and warming back up to carmy berzatto 🧸

requests are open!! i’m just starting to get back into writing so stay tuned!! 📻

⋆.ೃ𐦍*:･⋆𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ𐦍*:･⋆𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ𐦍*:･⋆𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

[jamesdeerest]

spiderman spoilers!

using loser by tame impala aka joes music video in the new Spiderman movie is a definitely intentional link to my fave au spiderman Steve Harrington

[djospurnell]

rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend rockstar boyfriend

[djospurnell]

he’s so boyfriend it’s actually killing me

[jamesdeerest]

I cannot deal with another goddamn heatwave rn. Was 33 in London today and I am still SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!

[zinainblue]

today I am thinking about:

gator with a baby daughter (I'm thinking about toddler-age-- still kind of babbling incoherently instead of talking) and his and her favorite thing EVER is when he just picks her up and throws her around.

roughness comes naturally to him. it always has. but it's different in the way he holds her-- scoops her up from behind and fits her onto his shoulders, snags her by the back of the shirt just before she runs into something, reaches over a hand that spans her entire torso to halt a random fall without moving from his place on the sofa.

it's intrinsic. it's just like him to act quickly, almost without thinking, to hold and protect. and he finds gradually that she likes when he tosses her around, manhandles her, lifts her up so high she can touch the ceiling with her grubby hands. he just grabs her, wherever she is or whatever she's doing, and she never minds so long as she can grip onto his hair or his forearm or the buckles on his work vest.

sometimes, following the sound of squealing and giggles, you find them both in the living room, your daughter's face torn in joy while gator pulls her down from where he's thrown her over his shoulder and hangs her upside down, his hands firm around her middle. he's grinning ear to ear at her, and she's laughing just as hard, even as you scold him and tell him to be careful and put her down.

he just turns that grin on you, protesting, "what? look, she likes it. no, it's fine. I've got her. oh, just relax, mama."

and you grumble something about how he's gonna kill you one day.

I think this specific kind of wrestling actually feels like a form of self-control to gator. in his head, the trust his daughter has in him is priceless. she's utterly, completely sure he won't hurt her, and by that metric, he's certain of it, too. this is the roughest he'll ever be with her; this is the final line in the sand of the violence he's been pushed toward for his entire life without ever feeling a real desire to engage in it.

this is the imaginary test he didn't realize he was taking; this is where he discovers the final, pivotal difference between roy and real fatherhood-- between roy and himself. it's by her judgement that he finally realizes how strong a grip he has on himself and on his learned behaviors.

his baby trusts him not to hurt her, and so he never will. it's as simple and groundbreaking as that.

[jamesdeerest]

‘it’s by her judgment that he finally realizes how strong a grip he had on himself’ 100000/10 no notes

[jamesdeerest]

just saw a gator edit to cop cuties from the rookie… the world is healing

[userglitched]

he's trying very hard. but once a bitch, always a bitch

[djospurnell]

he’s so pookie and he doesn’t even know it

[jamesdeerest]

literally the sleepiest girl in the entire world rn and I haven’t even done anything today!!! Literally did not leave the house

[oohlillie]

just saying but this picture’s gonna be the death of me

[harringtonsugar]

he’s so eatable giving kurt kunkle <333

[djospurnell]

no thoughts head empty just knight keery

[jamesdeerest]

six non-selfie pics from my camera ☺️☺️ @dustymerlin

[jamesdeerest]

late night takeout in the cruiser with gator before you’re in an official relationship, because yes, taking you out to dinner in an actual restaurant is too much commitment for him at this stage.

so, you get to witness gator flip-flopping between insisting that he doesn’t care, and hanging off your every word- he’s trying sneakily to figure out if you liked the drive-thru he chose, but not in a way that shows that he cares!! Duh!! He definitely doesn’t care!!

… 🙄

he’s chowing down on his burger, side eyeing you as you pick at your chips, the smell of the greasy food in the stuffy cruiser making you a little nauseous, and he reaches over to steal a chip. “somethin’ wrong with it or what? why’re you not eatin’?”

you go to reply, but stutter when you notice sauce smeared across his chin. it’s a little reminiscent of some ratty little kid, but endearing nonetheless. however, he recoils like you’ve just pulled out a machine gun when you go to wipe it off for him, eyes wide, scowl snapped on. “fuck you doing?”

“you’ve just- you’ve just got some sauce, gator, come here-”

he’s a deer in the headlights as you wipe the sauce away with your thumb, eyes flicking between your own and your gentle fingers, widening even more when you lick the barbecue sauce off your hand, wiping the rest on a napkin. you try to placate him when his wide eyed look doesn’t dissipate, the awkwardness thick in the car.

“it was just some sauce, gates, it’s fine, you’re good. here.” you offer your chips up as a peace offering, and he looks down, back up to you, and down to the chips again, taking a big handful to shove in his mouth, embarrassment temporarily forgotten.

he shifts closer on the bench seat to take more of your chips, thigh pressing against yours, and he reaches over you to open the window. “didn’t want you to be cold.”

you frown up at him, his face close to yours, a little baffled. “hm?”

he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting back, but still closer than it was before, “i was gonna open the window before, cuz of the smell- i have jerky in here when i’m workin’, i know how it gets. i just- i didn’t want you to get cold, s’all.”

you soften as he reaches into the back, grabbing his windbreaker to chuck into your lap as a makeshift blanket, before gator gets distracted with the chips again, pleased when you offer him the whole box to take. you tuck yourself into his side while he’s distracted, warm under his windbreaker, wondering if those little moments of softness mean as much to him as they do to you.

[jamesdeerest]

characters i identify with!!!!!

thank u for the tag lovely @dustymerlin 😚😚😚😚

[jamesdeerest]

Went to see Bruno mars two days ago at Wembley and i acc feel like i had a religious experience