To Be Changed

Man Dyke & Female Fag | 22 y old Transsexual Lesbian | he/him | We butchin’ it up in here

[platformcowboyboots]

[jamesmirandabarry]

a poem by a female fag about being a man dyke

[jamesmirandabarry]

don't you love the current 5.8% unemployment rate for college grads (in the usa)

[jamesmirandabarry]

Let’s clear up the debate!

Sexuality is affected by a mix of: Presentation (“Your type,” gender presentation- scale of femininity/masculinity etc) and body type (this does include biological sex markers and also secondary characteristics like your nose, size, etc)

Therefore, a lesbian is a person who is attracted to:

A) A presentation of femininity and/or womanhood

AND/OR

B) A female body type

So yes: labels do have meanings! But A lesbian does NOT need to be attracted to BOTH to be a lesbian.

A lesbian Can be attracted to a trans woman or transfeminine person for her presentation of femininity and/or womanhood (whatever that may look like for the trans woman). A lesbian Can also be attracted to a trans man, a transmasculine person, or a butch for their female body type combined with a masculine presentation. As long as the label is not invalidating for the particular trans man and he connects with it!

[jamesmirandabarry]

From one binary trans man to another, isn’t your transmedicalism tiring? Is it not tiring to cling to an ideology that relies on you hating yourself, and requires you to project onto others that they should hate themselves?

You are allowed to want to fully medically transition. You are allowed to want to completely pass as a cisgender man. Your gender dysphoria may make you uncomfortable or hate parts of your body that do not align with your chosen gender. These facts can all be part of your lived experience and relationship with your own gender.

That is not everyone though. And I recognize that’s difficult. It’s difficult when you are suffering to see others in your community who maybe are not going through the same levels of emotional pain you are. You may instinctively want to say, “They don’t get it. They can’t be like me, they don’t deserve the resources I do, because they don’t understand my pain.”

I assure you, they do understand struggle. They understand the struggle of living in a society that marginalizes them and isolates them. Your pain, your dysphoria is derived from the same place as this struggle: you live in a world that punishes deviation from the norm.

Your relationship with your gender, whatever that may be, is valid. You are allowed to want to pass and not deviate from binary gender norms. You are allowed to feel hurt.

But I’m not sure the target of your hurt is being directed in the right place. Your fellow trans people are not your enemy. The neopronoun user probably understands your hurt better than any cisgender person. You just may not have the same view of your own gender expression, and that’s okay.

We could all support one another and feel loved. Is that not a better ideology?

[butch-pilot]

idk who needs to hear it but it’s ok to be a trans butch, whether you're transmasc or transfem or somewhere in the middle, you're allowed to express yourself however you want, no matter what other people might think of you

[gayandconfusedmotherfucker]

I swear to GOD if yall keep infighting about he/him lesbians while our rights are being stripped away and we get more and more in DANGER just for EXISTING imma have to slap tf out of yall.

[jamesmirandabarry]

I am SOOO tired of the “trans men can’t be lesbians” discourse.

I fear you guys just don’t get the life experience of being a trans man (who used to be perceived as a woman and still is by some people) who likes only women. I am never going to be a cisgender man and I don’t want to be. I am a man in most social scenarios but in romantic ones I am a butch. Living in our heteronormative society, being on T but with no surgeries, I feel more aligned with the butch romantic experience than cisgender men.

Women who are attracted to me still like female bodies. I haven’t had any surgeries and I don’t want them. I’m simply on T, which means I am seen as a man by society…with all my clothes on. I’m a man with a female body. Both of these things exist at the same time, it’s just part of my lived reality. This means I’m seen as a man to broader society, which is my goal, but I still have a female body which effects how I navigate the world. This includes in healthcare/reproductive rights and also sexually.

If a lesbian is only attracted to femininity, then yes, she won’t like me and I don’t want her to. But if she likes masculinity and female bodies, which very much can be the case in lesbianism, then yes, I am in that category. To say that lesbians can’t like masculinity is extremely reductive tbh and erases butches entirely.

[jamesmirandabarry]

Honestly? My take is that queer gatekeepers don’t know what it’s like to live a lonely fucking existence, or haven’t realised they live one yet.

[jamesmirandabarry]

My genuine reaction to “he/him lesbians don’t exist” is it must be nice to be a whole person. It must be nice to be seen, to be understood as a concept to be loved. I often imagine what it would be like to not constantly fiddle with the gender markers on a dating app. I exist in a stasis of too man to be desired as butch, too female to be desired as man. I am a dyke to some, a fag to others. I want to be loved. Is that not enough?

[jamesmirandabarry]

Honestly? My take is that queer gatekeepers don’t know what it’s like to live a lonely fucking existence, or haven’t realised they live one yet.

[jamesmirandabarry]

Tbh, If I could direct my own performance of Cabaret, and I really wanted to put a super topical spin on it, I’d cast a transmasc or GNC masc-presenting person as the Emcee. The costuming would be fully embracing gender nonconformity and sexual liberation: top surgery scars or breasts w pasties fully out. No change to the script: Emcee is still referred to as a man. Most of the Kit Kat Club dancers would be gender non-conforming/trans in some way.

But by Act 2, he’s fully back clothed in increasingly more feminine clothing. And in a wig/dress by I Don’t Care Much + the Finale. The end imagery would be all of the Kit Kat Club workers in traditional clothing of their gender assigned at birth.

[eiralivered]

[jamesmirandabarry]

Listen radblr,

I agree with you that people who were born female have certain oppressions they face because of their anatomy. I share many patriarchal oppressions with you when it comes to my body.

That being said, I am socially a man and will never be seen as a woman in society. If you saw me in public, you would not think I was female. I present myself as a man and live as one day to day, because this is what feels right and happy to me. Because of this, I don’t share some of the social oppressions that women face and I would not enter social spaces for only women because that is not how I am read— even though I am female, women would be uncomfortable if I entered their space because I look like a man.

I wish more of you could reconcile that instead of resorting to “women are adult human females and all adult human females are women,” when it’s a bit more complicated than that. Speaking from experience, I can tell you there’s a grand difference between the social category of sex and the anatomical one.

[jamesmirandabarry]

Too much of a man to be a butch, too much of a butch to be a man.