Jamie Kilstein

[jamiekilstein]

For my teacher on National Suicide Prevention Day

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day. Two of the people who guided me to where I am today have both taken their own lives. My high school english teacher who's class I was failing, took me aside one day after I totally broke down and gave me his copy of On The Road. He told me that I was one of the smartest kids he had in his class. I had a 12 (OUT OF 100!) in said class. He said that school isn't for everyone and that I should follow my dreams. He was my first Robin. He could have gotten fired for telling a student its ok to drop out but he saw something in me that no one else did, and that I certainly didn't. That sometimes I still don't. I always tried to find him to tell him how well I was doing. To tell him that I listened to him. To tell him that I finally believe him. That i've been on TV with noble prize winners. That some days I think i'm smart. That education doesn't always come from books. That my posts about him (including this one) are probably riddled with spelling mistakes and grammar errors but that it doesn't matter. Writing is about heart not commas. That I went on the road. That it changed my life. That I still haven't read the Joy Luck Club like I was supposed to in class but I write like if I stop the world will end.

When I found out he died by suicide, just like when I found out last year about my other friend, my first thoughts were selfish. What did I do? In my darkest moments I thought "welp if the two people who believed in me died this way that way what does that say about me?!". The bottom line is this. We don't know who is hurting. Sometimes it's the people who help others the way they can't help themselves. I wouldn't be sober, following my dreams, or maybe alive if it wasn't for these two people. They gave to others what they couldn't give to themselves. They lived with purpose. So we have to pay these people back.

We need to ask if they are ok. We need to be friends. We need to push aside the urge to be selfish. We can't project insecurities. We need to live like they begged us to. We need to listen. We need to listen. We need to listen. And we need to love like if we stopped the world would end.

[jamiekilstein]

About the terror attack stopped by Americans and gun control.

So, about the terror attack stopped by American military in paris. Its great no one was killed. It seems like these dudes wanted to do mass damage and a crisis was averted. I tend not to post rah rah America stuff considering what a huge role we play in terror. We commit it. We bomb children. Support regimes who do the same. Not only that, but all the innocents we kill, land we destroy, countries we ruin, plays into why so many people become extremists. You can't be lazy and blame all that shit on Allah. If you had your kid killed, your place of work bombed and your home bulldozed you would fight too.

We often here after every attack that the victims should have had a gun. That would have saved everyone. Even though they were killed by a gun the republicans and the NRAs solutions are add more guns. Give the teachers guns (even though you don’t pay them enough to afford bullets), give students guns, jam guns up inside the wombs of pregnant people so babies will be born with guns.

They seem to forget how many people who are TRAINED to use guns kill innocent people every year. Let alone giving it to some old klan member in a dark movie theater to wildly open fire. Or some bro watching UFC fights in a bar who has never shot a moving target. Arming more people who have never trained in real life fight or flight situations would of course lead to more deaths.

What you had in paris were trained experts. They knew how to use guns and because of that they thought "maybe best not to open fire on a crowded fucking train." One was trained in jiujitsu which is my love. And he choked the guy. No one was killed. No innocents were caught in the cross fire and the terrorist can see justice instead of execution with no trial. In one ironic moment bad gut got the crap beat out of him with his own gun. The hero didn’t open fire once.

What they did was brave. What they did was the reason I train jiujitsu. What they did is more evidence that you don't need guns to defend yourself and often times it causes more pain. You know who wanted to use guns on that train? The terrorists.

[jamiekilstein]

Welp. My dream since I was 16 is finally happening. Taking the rants, comedy, and songs you all know and love (plus some surprises) and teaming up with one the best producers and best musicians in the world to make my first full studio album. Not only that but if you PREORDER nowhttp://smarturl.it/JKAlbum You get constant behind the scenes footage of making the album, Citizen Radio, CATS, and my tour. You can be part of this! Not only that but we have exclusives from guitars, to rare CR swag, jiujitsu lessons and vegan food! Fuck the suits. Lets do this together! #music #liberal #progressive #punk #vegan #feminist #animalrights #comedy #LGBT

[jamiekilstein]

A year after Robin Williams died

I posted a thing about Robin Williams last week not realizing that today its been a year. I guess that makes sense why I was thinking about him a lot. I've also been thinking about him cause of this new direction my life has been going. I'm going to post a video Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC​ did of my talking about Robin and a People.com​ piece my friend and I wrote about his passing. Both deal with politics and depression which i think are very important. But I just want to say here that not only did he talk me out of quitting comedy (which I talk about in the article) but the truth is when he died I wanted to quit again. So bad. So fucking bad. He was one of the few people that had my back and he was gone. I kept being reminded that this was literally the worst way to honor my friend who talked me out of quitting so many times. So i thought fuck it. I'll go out the way i've always wanted to. Playing music. I've never been happier. I've never gotten the response i'm getting. I'm recording my first fucking ALBUM in the fall with a full band. What I wanted to since I was a long haired 16 year old punk. So once again, even in death, Robin is the reason my life has become what i've always wanted it to be. Robin is the reason I'm smiling.

http://www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-perry/watch/jamie-kilstein-on-robin-williams--passing-318795331519

http://www.people.com/article/jamie-kilstein-remembers-robin-williams

[actjustly-deactivated20181001]

Today marks one year since Mike Brown was murdered by Darren Wilson. 

Mike Brown (May 20, 1996 – August 9, 2014)

[jamiekilstein]

Sometimes I get sad or depressed for no reason. Im having a good day and then like a ton of bricks with dad issues i just sink. It's easy to go with it. To latch on and follow them to the bottom. To make lists of other reasons you are sad. Im very good at lists. But man, sometimes the best thing to do is put on some loud cheesy as fuck music and just go walk. See you aren't alone. Feel someone else's art. It's not full proof. It for sure ain't science but it works for me almost every time. First you just got to get up. Go.

[jamiekilstein]

This one hurts a lot.

[jamiekilstein]

Fringe fest baby. #Edinburgh #music #comedy #progressive #feminist #notaracistdick #vegan #comedy #politics

[jamiekilstein]

#feminist #liberal #climatechange

[jamiekilstein]

Vegan tattoo part 3. Rambo pig. @stefanoalcantara is a god. #vegan #tattoo #vegetarian #tattoos #animalrights

[jamiekilstein]

Semi finals of worlds when I was a blue belt. Was down two points and in my head from getting thrown into a table. Thanks to @giannigrippo and @grumblebugmcscamperton for coaching me and getting me to push through and win by a lot starting from here. Apologies for dramatic music. I still love the karate kid. #wrestling #bjj #vegan #athlete #jiujitsu #chokeboyz #mg

[jamiekilstein]

Found this old photo of the first time robin Williams came to see me, with my friend Paul Provenza. Saw the vegan sweatshirt and instead of doing what 99 percent of comics would do and make fun of it he asked really thoughtful questions and we talked politics all night. He was a very left and concerned about the state of things like most empathetic people are. I miss him every day.

[jamiekilstein]

From today's show. Fuck Darren Wilson forever.

[jamiekilstein]

I found someone who like carbs as much as me. #animals, #carbs

#vegan

[jamiekilstein]

Back!

I would like to say I haven’t been on tumblr because we were busy with the book tour. (My last post) BUT in reality I lost my password! YAY! Seems like this is where the vegan feminist kids hang out. Kinda sick of twitter so this should be cool!

[fuckyeahcitizenradio]

Fear of the Gay Agenda from our new book #NEWSFAIL as drawn by Matt Lubchansky from The Nib!

BUY THE BOOK! 

[jamiekilstein]

This made my life. 

[jamiekilstein]

Fuck the world. We wrote a book.

Today is the release of our first book. Written with my partner and cohost of Citizen Radio Allison Kilkenny. It's called #Newsfail and you can get it herehttp://books.simonandschuster.com/Newsfail/Jamie-Kilstein/9781476706511and book stores everywhere! Time to be sappy! Not gonna spell check cause I already wrote a book so fuck you. Dropping out of high school when I was younger got me labeled as stupid pretty fast. To be fair, I wasn't good at school, and very high, but I always wanted to be smart. I've held this chip on my shoulder for a very long time. Never feeling like I was smart enough to hang with journalists or even people who went to a good school.  I thought I wasn't informed enough to read or write about politics. I probably thought Noam Chomsky was a band. Even after our show took off, we got to interview some of our heroes (like the band Noam Chomsky) I felt dumb telling people I wanted to write a book. To be fair, the only reason this happened is cause Allison is a great writer and knows how to spell. But I thought, I'm the clown, I go on stage and make the dick jokes. Leave the smart stuff to the people who didn't fail spanish1 4TIMES. In the pitch to Simon & Schuster we didn't hold back. We turned down book pitches in the past when we really needed money cause they were shitty middle of the road ideas. We told our wonderful editor Sarah, "Look. We are gonna write a weird filthy political book. It's gonna be anti war, pro #vegan,#feminist, pro #palestine, and we are gonna take a big shit on all the news shows we need to get booked on to promote it." and to our shock she said "yeah ok." At least for today I'm gonna consider myself an author. We wrote a book. It's A medium I love, a medium that's saved my life, a medium that turns words into adventures. We can add our names to that list now. All of the empty gigs, the times I was booed off stage, living out of our car for a year and a half just so I could shout words into a mic have come to this.  Maybe the book will flop. Maybe not. But it's done. It will live forever and we did it because of all of you. The reason we were given this shot is because the Citizen Radio maniacs are out of their mind. By buying the book, sometimes more than one, being loud out twitter, requesting copies of #Newsfail for your library, you showed that a little podcast shouldn't be fucked with. This is your book. Don't let anyone make you feel stupid. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do (right Locke?!) Do it. Do it with support or without it. Just have fun doing it. Like Bill Hicks said "enjoy the ride.  I hope this little book does well tomorrow. Help us be loud and force people to listen.