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"Doesn’t change your sour mood does it." Ronnie rolled her eyes before leaning against the door. "No. No, I’m not. Last christmas didn’t go to well, so. I’ll be staying here."
"A little." He was more prepared for his little sister to come in and drag him out the door and honestly didn't expect for Ronnie to show up. "Want to have Christmas with me then?"
"Wow your manners are out-fucking-standing."
"Don't care. Besides I didn't even see that it was you." He shook his head, glancing at her quickly before turning away. "You going home?"
"If you're here to suggest I go home, I suggest you to fuck off."
She hated this game. This tournament made for amusement, the thing costing innocent lives. A game, making children into murders and martrys. Her hand raised and smacked James full across the face and continued to slap his arms and the rest of his available body. “You idiot! I could have lost you! They could have slaughtered you, and you would be gone. Gone James! Does that even register?!” She finally did stop hitting him but only to crumple up and stare at the ground.”Sorry wouldn’t bring you back.” She looked back up at him searching his face, searching for remorse he claimed to have. “Why can’t you grasp that you are not disposable? James, my life means nothing if you aren’t here with me.”
His head jerked to the side as she slapped him, jaw tightening as the sting of her palm spread over it. "And I could have lost you! Stop acting like you would have done any different. I'm trying, Ronnie!" He yelled back, his own eyes watering as he kept his gaze on hers. "This is the best I can do." James moved away from her, turning so that she wouldn't see the emotions that he was displaying. He'd had enough stress to surely turn his hair white since the moment his father took his last breathes and left his son with this big of a responsibility. Everyone seemed to forget that he was only eighteen years old, not superman. "I...I can't do this anymore. I can't be this person...I can't --I'm done..I can't lead a war..I can't be the savior. I'm so done.."
Ronnie stopped moving for what seemed like hours. His sentence echoing in different pitches like she was in some cheesy movie. “What- I ..” and then it all sort of clicked and she was pushing him off of her and staring at him with love. But it wasn’t that dreamy look, in fact it probably closer resembled a look of pure murder. “How fucking dare you.” Ronnie found herself crying again for the eightieth time but she made no move stop. “What the fuck is your problem? In what world was that a bloody good idea?” She had started shaking, and godric she wanted to scream at him but now was not the best time. “You’d think, with you being an adult an all, you would have figured out how to not be so fucking selfish.”
All he could do was freeze and watch as she seemed to break out of what ever 'daze' she'd fallen into after he had told her what he'd done. For a moment, an ounce of fear clenched at his heart because of the look that she was giving him. "Ron.." It hurt more that this was coming out of her mouth. They were the same things he'd been hearing for a while now -- from himself and the people around him. "--I...I'm trying? I just wanted you safe -- I thought I was doing the right thing...it felt like the right thing.I don't know what to do..I'm not him, I can't save everyone the right way. I can't make anyone happy, I can't keep the people that I love alive without being selfish. Ronnie I try to do better but it never works." He was so lost and now, with Hogwarts being turned upside down, the only home he had was her and she thought just as poorly as the rest of them. "I'm sorry.."
Ronnie shook her head tears still falling down her face. “Everything with you is important. Tell me now James Potter, or so help me I’ll kill you too.” The threat was empty but Ronnie added it on for good show. “Please?” Her hand came up to rest on his face, completely forgetting about the audience. This was for them, this was private.
His frown deepened as he watched the tears crawl down her face, reaching up to wipe them away. "They threatened to kill Lily, Albus and you if I didn't give myself over to the death eaters." He replied knowing she wasn't going to like what he said. "I couldn't not go but I had felix felicis...I only got hurt a little bit..."
"I don’t want pieces. I want my mum." It hurt, it hurt so fucking bad and James only dulled the pain. It never went away. That pain of loosing a parent sticks with you forever, and if you’re lucky every now and then it doesn’t hurt as bad. Ronnie wanted to be home, with her dad and her mum and her little brother who didn’t even make it to his first birthday. But home was James now, the only thing that kind of worked anymore in her life. "Whadda mean Hero?" Ronnie extracted herself slightly to look up at him with watery eyes and drawn eyebrows already fering his answer.
James pulled her back against him, trying to find something to say to make it better and in attempt to hide his guilt. But there was nothing that seemed appropriate, nothing that would even help him deal with the death of a parent. "I know you do. And -- it doesn't matter really. not all that important."
"That counts for everything,” she hissed at him. “But that doesn’t mean you’re to go around and risk it. Merlin, James, none of us hate you. Don’t you get it? We all love you. You stupid, fucking, twat. The Gamemakers aren’t going to keep to their words, James, remember that. No one is safe, no matter what they say. Don’t do it again, you’re only putting yourself in danger. It won’t save anyone.” Rose sighed, wiping her eyes before leaning closer to take at the gash. “It’s not infected,” she said, letting out a sigh of relief. Rose held out her hand to James. “I’m going to heal, okay? It might hurt, so if it does, just squeeze my hand as hard as you want. I don’t care if you break it, just give yourself the distraction.”
"I'm sure not everyone sees it that way." He was half convinced to push her away but he just watched as she fussed over him, much like his mother but he wouldn't dare tell her that. "It's better not to take a chance and, hell, Rose you know I wouldn't want to be here without them. They're my little brother and sister -- and the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with...you can't tell me you wouldn't do the same." James let go of her, not sure if breaking her hand would be productive and he figured he could take it. "Yes, you want me to break your hand so that you can just have only one usable hand in a tournament where you are trying to survive. Smart, Rosie. So smart."
Ronnie crumpled up and hid her face as she felt her eyes well with tears. She wouldn’t show anyone she was crying, it was none of their business. “Lily was so angry with me. And I couldn’t find you and Nova was with T-teddy.” Her arms wrapped around his chest as she sobbed. The deaths were gruesome. She wouldn’t be going into detail. Not how she didn’t just take a shot, but drew it out. That was her own shit to deal with. “They promised me my mom and all I got was..like some shadow of it all. Random bits and pieces of her.”
His chest was still tender from the wound but he could careless and only pulled her closer, running his fingers through her hair in hopes of comforting them. "I'm sorry, Ronnie. You know me, had to run off and play the hero." He gave a half hearted laugh, wondering how to approach the subject of her mother. The deal was that they only talked about her when she brought her up. "I know that this isn't what you want to hear but maybe you should appreciate the shadow -- the bits and pieces. Appreciate them for the lives that it cost. Nothing is going to be as good as having her back -- I've learned to take what you can get when it comes to these situations. I love you and I remember how she used to tell me that she loved you to." He whispered, "You have more of her than you think..."
"Five of them. Two in the forest, one at my campsite and two in the cave. Sword, fire, gun."
He held her closer to him, pressing a kiss to her hair. "It's okay. It'll be okay just forget about it...they would have done the same."
"The kids in the cave. They were so nice too..they knew me. And the supplies didn’t last that long either."
"What are you talking about Ronnie? What kids? I'm not...you killed them, didn't you?"
"Lucky? You fucking idiot, what have you done to yourself? Tell me you didn’t take your challenge?" Rose turned back to him, pushing him down gently to sit on the ground. She reached over to his chest, moving his shirt to take a look at the wound. "Can you take your shirt off? And do you remember what spell it was?"
"I'm alive? Doesn't that count for something." He sighed, leaning his head back against the bark. "I can't have her die hating me as well. I mean I made a promise to protect her from this shit and I've got to make good on it somehow. Not to mention my dad would murder me for letting Albus die and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to Ron. Not after the pact we made." He rambled, keeping his mind off the pain. James carefully lifted his shirt up over his head, wincing as he moved. "I can't remember, I was too busy trying to survive. --How bad does it look?"
Rose rushed forward towards him, taking his hand immediately. “Am I okay? Are you okay? Bloody hell, James, what happened to you?” She gripped his hand tightly, turning away from him to point her wand out at the open sky, placing her usual set of protective spells.
James rolled his eyes, shrugging his shoulders as if it were only just a little nick. "Well, apparently I got off lucky since i took the felix felicis. They really don't take it easy on people, do they?" He asked watching as she cast the protective spells. "I'll be alright, especially now."
"Because I fell from my broom and broke my arm when I was a kid," she replied, slowly taking steps towards James. "Why do I trust you with my life?" Her wand was still pointed at him; she wasn’t ready to drop it until she knew for certain that it was him.
He smiled at her answer remembering the day when it had happened. "Because when we were little, I saved you from drowning at the Shell Cottage." James reached a hand out for her, more concerned about her well being rather than his own. "You okay?"
Ronnie looked up trying to focus on his face. “James?” she felt half there but part of her was still at that lake looking down searching for her mom. “They lied. The challenge- they didn’t have my mom.They died for nothing.”
He nodded, pulling her up into his arms trying to search her face for the answer to his question. "What do you mean they died for nothing? Ron..."
Rose almost darted out from her position and ran over to him. She stopped herself however, peeking out at him, wand still positioned towards him. “Prove it,” she said, her voice shaking. “How do I know it’s really you?”
"Well ask.." He frowned, stumbling forward until he rested against the trunk of the tree, hoping to rest for a little while. "Why don't you fly?" James asked with a chuckle waiting for her to answer.
Rose squinted at the approaching figure, hiding herself behind a tree. “Get the fuck away,” she called out, pulling out her wand.
"Rosie?" He asked weakly, holding his hands against the gash that crossed his chest turning his shirt scarlet. "It's me...it's just me."
