Live, Laugh, Love. ♥

JRT. 22. UCSD Alumni. View My VSCO Grid

[jamiiierae]

Wow. I missed writing all my thoughts in a blog. But wow. I just randomly decided to log onto Tumblr. I contemplated on going through old posts/messages etc, and I did. And wow. I definitely was at a very sad place in life 5-7 years ago. I’m not even sure how far back this sadness goes, considering the fact that I’ve had Tumblr since 2008 or 2009.

I want to get back to blogging. Or journaling. Or something... Just something to get my thoughts out. But Tumblr is just so saddening to me..... 

On the bright side, it’s nice to see that things are so much better now.

[jamiiierae]

I don’t understand why so many songs have been reminding me of you lately.

[jamiiierae]

I hate being reminded of the crappy relationships I was in. I feel like I made myself so vulnerable when all I wanted to ever do was make people be the better person they can be for themselves. But in the end, I was taken for granted one too many times. Yet, I felt that I should’ve escaped when I had so many chances to. I never thought I could believe in people so much that my gut feelings were all a lie.

But I guess these reminders are good ones; to remind me of my worth, and what happiness should always be. 

[jamiiierae]

I just want someone who would do anything for me and make me their entire world. Although it may not seem like something I need in life, but deep down, every girl wishes to be treated that way.

[jamiiierae]

🏰of❤️👫 #Napa #winetasting (at Castello di Amorosa)

[jamiiierae]

I’m overly excited for Napa this weekend with the babe. Can it just be Saturday, 3AM already? I need this mini getaway, like now.

[jamiiierae]

Let’s be honest. Me asking you if you’ve ever been here or done that is not an invitation for you to come join me.

[jamiiierae]

This trip wasn’t for my 23rd birthday, I swear. It just happened to be that way. The weekend was great. Alesso was great. My friends are great. :)

And for some reason I’m missing a picture with John, lame.

But in all, I’m finally 23. I’m looking forward to another year of happiness and love with the people I care most about. 

[jamiiierae]

Good things come to good people.

I guess an update on life is a bit overdue. So here goes nothing.

March 2015 has been filled with quite a great amount changes, the biggest one having to move back to San Diego for the new job. This is a pretty big deal to me, probably because this is my first ever job. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity, and so far the past two weeks and one day have been great at work. I have lovely coworkers and a supportive upper management. 

This move to San Diego has taught me how to grow up and be more responsible for myself. Not that I ever was irresponsible or anything of that sort, but it’s definitely teaching me how to become more self sustainable and how to be a ‘real’ adult. Although it would be great to live with my parents, save money, and constantly have their support, I feel like this move is good for me in a sense that I become more independent.

With my first paycheck, I constantly debated on how to treat myself with it. New makeup? New shoes? More clothes? I had no idea; so I decided to put off on that first paycheck purchase. Spontaneously, I somehow ended up being in the posession of a brand new 2015 Honda Fit. I’m not entirely sure how that happened, but I guess that it could somewhat in a way be considered my ‘first paycheck’ purchase—definitely worth wayyy more than my first paycheck, but I guess a good portion of that check would be going to a first payment. 

Nevertheless, 2015 has been off to a great start. March has been a great month and I hope the year continues to be just as awesome as it has been. While at the dealership yesterday, I was telling the sales consultant about how great this month has been—new job, new-ish city, and now new car. He looked at me, smiled and said, “You know what Jamie, good things come to good people. And it just so happened that a bunch of good things came to you all at once. I know you’re definitely a good person, and you deserve it all.” I think that was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the longest time. And I sincerely hope he is right.

[jamiiierae]

What I thought was going to be a nice, relaxing weekend back home turned into something so much more! 🚗☺️❤ ️Thank you so much once again, @ray_honda and everyone at Lancaster Honda! (at Lancaster Honda)

[words-of-emotion]

[smokasaki-deactivated20160919]

Real

[jamiiierae]

THIS. THIS. THIS.

[bakwaz-deactivated20140825]

America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you

[jamiiierae]

Blurbs.

I don’t even know where to begin. My mind’s all jumbled and I just need to let it all out.

Two weeks at the end of February/beginning of March is definitely not enough time to look for a new place to live—especially when you live approximately 3 hours away from the ‘new’ place of residence. I’m stressing out. I’m going nuts. There’s a huge potential of me being homeless for a while and slumming on couches in living rooms. And that’s definitely not okay with me. I don’t like to rely on others when I know I can get situations handled on my own. It’s as simple as that.

On another note, am I the only one here who HATES packing? I’ve been procrastinating that shit for nearly a week/week and a half now. I need to get myself together.

Moving away is always nice. It’s a way to start fresh and get that extra push you need in your life. But, what about everything else you’re leaving behind? I know I will always have my family behind me 110%, in which they support every decision that I make. But I’m terrified of the things that aren’t so permanent in life. I’m leaving behind great parts of me, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. I’m not even sure if I’m even ready to put my all to alter parts of this new lifestyle to make sure those possibly temporary things will remain in my life. I wanted it to be easier in a sense that these ‘possibly’ temporary things will become a more permanent thing in life, but now it just keeps getting harder. But I guess in all, if I want it to stay in my life, I’ll find a way to make it stay.

Leading onto the next. When do things ever reach the point where it’s just all a little too much? It’s my complete nature to wait things out and hope for the best. However, I’m starting to realize that waiting things out isn’t really doing me any good on my end. I just don’t know how to man up and step outside of my comfort zone and do something about ‘it’ in order for things to stop becoming too much to handle; I’ve always just waited it out and things end up fine. But waiting is now starting to become a pain. I’ve been handling it just fine for the past year or so, but now I’m finding myself getting tired of all the talks and being the center of attention because that just isn’t who I am and what I like in my life. In a sense, I’m a freaking hermit crab that likes my own world, my own space, while not having 398457987349 others in that small confined space. I guess learned lesson is, if you won’t man up soon enough, then I will. 

[jamiiierae]

I haven't felt this busy in such a long time; it's actually pretty strange. I missed this feeling so much. But it's just so strange to actually stress over something besides job hunting. I guess these are good problems to have; but not really.

I need help finding a new home for me. :(

[zymphe]

-finally does laundry-

-never puts away laundry-

-takes clean clothes out from pile until pile is gone-

[andrewjfunk-deactivated20151230]

I fall deeper for you every day.

[jamiiierae]

It has been a good week. :)

Accepting the job offer gave me nothing but relief. Although I am a bit scared of what the future may hold, I am definitely ready to move back to San Diego and start fresh.