i kick ass harder than i kick balls

(like eggnog but with more alcohol)

[jasnog]

@jasno: jaspyr emmery is going to take some getting used to

[jasnog]

David had sex with Veronica a few weeks ago

Oh. Thanks?

[jasnog]

text - david ❤

jas: I'm thankful for you and us and the bomb sex we're gonna have when things aren't awkward anymore. love you lots!! xoxo your #1

[jasnog]

@jasno: how does david deal with me my farts smell like hot dogs

[jasnog]

@kaleesi: potatoes are acceptable and relevant always @jasno

@jasno: this is v trutato @kaleesi

[jasnog]

@kaleesi: hOI!!

@jasno: man I thought this said hot I was going to reply with potatO!! @kaleesi

[jasnog]

Text → Jaspyr

Jackie: that would be.. absolutely amazing, Jas.

Jackie: Girlfriend? Why haven't I met her yet?

Jas: I thought you'd like that. And she's just- going to love you and you're going to love her and I think it's what you need.

Jas: wait no lol I'm the girlfriend doing the dutying but he's just been really busy lately, writing for school and such so I haven't seen much of him but after we get back from visiting his grandfather I'll make sure to introduce the two of you

[jasnog]

I think I’m more excited to see him than I am my own family this holiday. That’s pretty crazy.

[davidjfc-blog]

I’m sure he feels the same. He wouldn’t stop asking me about you.

[jasnog]

What'd you tell him?

[jasnog]

Let’s not do this, alright? We get to see your grandfather in less than a day and should be on good terms for it.

[davidjfc-blog]

Okay. I told him I was coming along so- I guess you’ll be a welcomed surprise.

[jasnog]

I think I'm more excited to see him than I am my own family this holiday. That's pretty crazy.

[jasnog]

It means that you don’t want to hear what I have to say and I’d rather not upset you.

[davidjfc-blog]

If I didn’t want to hear, I would not have asked.

[jasnog]

Let's not do this, alright? We get to see your grandfather in less than a day and should be on good terms for it.

[jasnog]

Text → Jaspyr

Jackie: okay good

Jackie: haha nothing has really happened tbh. just been singing my heart out.. trying to find out more about the fam😕

Jas: maybe next weekend we can go over my aunts house to visit? She's pretty awesome and her kids are the cutest

Jas: I'd take you this weekend but I have girlfriend duties to attend to

[jasnog]

Text → Jaspyr

Jackie: everything okay?

Jackie: i've been good, hbu bb?

Jas: they will be

Jas: just good? come on ive been gone for a month i need some more details than that

[itsnae-o-mee]

Knowing you, I’m really not that surprised. Like, not at all. It sounds painful but hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I guess.

[jasnog]

Of course, now I roll down stairs for fun. Your turn.

[jasnog]

Text → Jaspyr

Jackie: i miss u jas🙁

Jas: sorry i've been so mia i had som euh personal things to take care of but im back now

Jas: how have you been?

[itsnae-o-mee]

What? I don’t need to embarrass myself. I’ve told enough stories before. Why don’t you share a story, huh?

[jasnog]

Once, I was sitting at the top of my stairs and I was like wow, sliding down feet first is fun sometimes but I want to try something new. After that revelation i proceeded to try and slide down the stairs head first but ended up rolling backwards and by, was it painful.

[jasnog]

Text → Jaspyr

Jackie: ayooooo

Jas: yoaaaaa

[itsnae-o-mee]

I try to avoid embarrassing myself as much as I can so I guess you won’t get the details. Sorry.

[jasnog]

Booooooo.