SONGVERSATIONS WITH JASON

[jasonsjournal]

Stream: “Young” by Abhi//Dijon

082216°10:40pm I was listening to my friend talk about how she and her boyfriend got together.  Cars passed by as we’re parked along the sidewalk for the past half hour.   ‘Young’ by Abhi//Dijon replayed like twenty times.  She was going through some things earlier today, but in that half hour, she became a completely different person.  Her eyes shined in the summer evening, adorned with smiles and laughter.  

To my surprise, what she felt was foreign to me.  The song was foreshadow.

[jasonsjournal]

NOSTALGIA - withjason

BLONDE (2016) - Frank Ocean Stream: https://itun.es/us/m6yueb

082116°12:20am My right ankle’s stiff.  

081816°9:45pm I’m on http://boysdontcry.co/ trying to find the stream but the Tapex wifi is slow as fuck.  

081916°1:45pm I stare at Endless for straight 45 minutes.  I don’t know how I feel bout it, but I appreciate it for what it is.  The wait was worth it.  Nostalgia is at an ultra high.

082016°6:30pm I just had another one of those unforgettable experiences where you do pretty much nothing.  But it’s good cuz you’re doing it with the one who makes nothing feel like everything.

We’re at our usual spot.   Just us two, in the middle of downtown, hidden.  I was supposed to be at home by 6.  Both of my close friends text me the release of Blonde.

So we drive under the pink skies listening to track 3, “Pink + White.”  

082016°11:00pm I’m skating the vastness of the spot I was at earlier in the day but this time with my brother.  We’re talking about post-anxiety and honesty.   We’re talking about shredding this motherfuckin slope.  Summer night breeze before I summer time leave.

082116°12:29am My right ankle’s stiff.  Same goes for my lower back.  The aftermaths of skating.  I’m 7 tracks into Blonde after cycling through 1-6 earlier today.

You can’t help but feel it while listening to Blonde.  If anything, this is Nostalgia Ultra.  A feeling all too familiar.  Especially at the end of summer because not only do you feel nostalgic, you’ll dread how it’ll feel once the school year starts.

082116°12:29am -13 tracks in

[jasonsjournal]

Stream: Here Original: Horses - Abhi//Dijon

073116°8:24am Layin on top of the blankets, staring at the wall for the past half hour, listening to Horses on repeat.  I’ve been pretty drained lately.  I try my best to hide it, but what’s the point anymore? 

080216°11:49pm I just finished recording and producing after a day of interning in SF.  It’s been a month since I’ve uploaded anything new.  Even longer since I’ve touched my piano.  ‘

‘flow’ is an attempt to capture my current state: I don’t make time for the things I love. I don’t make time for the people I love. I’m empty.

This evening reminds me the beauty of letting something out, letting something flow.  Keep pushing.

[jasonsjournal]

Young 2016

New

NAC

Talk

Late Nights

January

Pretend

Leaving..

Again

Young

Click on songs for lyrics and songversations

Stream here: Soundcloud Interview: Coming Soon

[jasonsjournal]

Stream Here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION It’s been almost a year since I released an album.  It’s been almost a year since I said anything,

So I guess this was my way of saying hello.

The Process - February 17, 2016. Musically, I wanted to do something new but didn’t know where to place the song in the track list.  The opening track of Young was originally going to be a slow interlude to set the scene.  But I did that so many times, and I didn’t wanna fuck around anymore.  Let’s skip the slow ‘small talk.’  Let’s start.

Lyrics it’s been a minute do you feel the same, i was thinking we should kick it

oh, you got your own thing, i know you’re tired of these lame clingy dudes who wanna get it (who wanna get it)

I’m sorry that I’m late girl tell me if you with it

some feelings never change this aint nothin new it was always you

some feelings never change (I’m sorry that I’m late) this aint nothin new it was always you it was always you

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION You know what they say, don’t drake and drive.  But bryson tiller’s the new late night drake as of now.  “This what happen when I think about you, I get in my feelings, yeah, I start reminiscing, yeah, Next time around, fuck I want it to be different, yeah”  Catch my friends and me singing along in my car, going down the 880 after a night out.  It wasn’t hard getting into the my simp zone.  Don’t worry, I didn’t drake tiller and drive to end up at someone’s house.  There was no one in my life at the moment, and what I used to feel, felt too long ago to do anything about.  

So I wrote this about what my friend was kinda going through

The Process - December 23, 2015. Tiller’s inspired by Drake.  I was inspired by Tiller, at least only on the writing end.  (By no means am I saying I’m them.  I wouldn’t want to be.  But you pay your respects when it’s due.)

Like most of my songs, it’s R&B based.  Peep the knockin’ bass and smooth ass guitar.  However  99% of the time, my songs are about sad shit.  I made enough sad songs by now, and I didn’t feel sad at the time.  So the song ended up sounded more reflective.. eager, almost..  

What is NAC?   Let’s just say that you shouldn’t urban dictionary it cuz that’s not what it means AT ALL.  lol, I really wanna leave it up for interpretation, but a part of me really doesn’t want this to be completely unknown.  NAC is basically an acronym.

You’ll figure it out.

Lyrics VERSE I got a thing for ya But I don't know what to do I'm tryna keep my cool But you're from another school We only meet once a couple times And your friends are there too

PH but Lately, you’ve been sitting kinda close Lately, i been tryna let you know Lately, its been hard for us to say i know you feel the same

Lately, I’ve been drivin to your place Lately, we’ve been up kinda late your friends are wondering where did we go they won't have to know

HOOK we could rock it slow just pass me the remote and I’ll turn off my phone

we could rock it slow just pass me the remote, imma turn it up won’t lets your friends hear, they won’t know what’s up

VERSE II where we leave off was it season 2 doesn’t even matter cuz my eyes on you waited all week just to get to you college apps, finals, just to name a few i know you been busy some times you won’t text me you said you don’t wanna name what we have tell me is it worse if this feeling came and left

Outro N... A... C...

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION yung fucboi back at it again... with things you hesistate to tweet bout

The Process - January 18, 2016. I started making own synths in ‘NAC’, but wasn’t comfortable with basing a whole song on it (plus NAC wasn’t the type of song to use synths really.)  ‘Talk’ however was perfect for it - nonchalant synths with a nonchalant drum pattern, backed with foreign instruments.

Lyrics i heard you wanna talk your girlfriends laughing in the back with ciroc you called shotgun, and you shot one took that raincheck and left me in the front

I’m sorry that i’m late but what’s the big deal not like you don’t do the same but if you wanna blame here’s 4 seconds of the fame if you wanna tweet then you better use my name better use my name funny how you changed talking shit bout my team now there’s something that you need

i heard you wanna talk your girlfriends laughing in the back with ciroc you called shotgun, and you shot one took that raincheck and left me in the front

pls you don’t get the wrong idea i text back only when i see ya ppl really think I’m friends with ya same school same fools msch man ill see ya thats why she call you fam why she pull me in for the hug why she shakes your hand u might get her to call u man but on her ig says she’s my #1 fan that’s a nice car you pulling in how many times you cried to your parents for it don’t trip dude oh you wanna race for this u can gas me to the red light, player shit u just played yo shit, with that meek mill shit fuck outa here if u wanna talk yo shit i know u talking shit bout my team oh now there’s somethin g that you need

i heard you wanna i heard you wanna

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION Most nights, I’m locked to a laptop in the corner of my local starbucks.  Life demands your focus.  You know the drill.  But the dust settles eventually.  Our schedules happen to align.  And we take advantage of a free night.

These are the nights that we’ll look back on and remember:  The places that wouldn’t normally get a double-take, start to feel special.  Hands are held.  Feelings of tension and relief, concern and courage intertwine into memories.   

....I know,

It isn’t easy to let go, but here’s a little reassurance to take a chance. 

The Process - March 31, 2016. In the middle of one particular night, I told myself, I don’t wanna forget this.  The following morning, I went to my friend’s house and started to piece it all together.  I had snapchat stories of nights that happened months ago.  It contained an instrumental I started on when all my friends were asleep, except one who ended up appearing in the beginning of the song, jason, why the fuck are you hella... 

Lyrics INTRO [snapchat story]

VERSE I know this isn’t something that we’re used to but something’s pullin me closer to you all night closer all night

i know that things were feelin complicated But trust me tonight I won't keep you waitin all night side to side all night

PH take a chance girl take my hand just us two for one more dance

forget your plans forget my past i’ll hold you close for one more dance

HOOK all night all night i’ll hold you close, all night side to side, all night

VERSE II i know that you were thinkin what i’m thinkin (yeah?) just leave with me and you’ll feel what i’m feelin (saaame) all night stay with me tonight (stay with me, baby stay with me, and if u really wanna, then leave with me)

let me know watchu wanna do and we’ll go my corollas in the back, ill drive slow but the night’s still young, just like us both to the middle of the floor, so lets go

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION I just came back home, but I’ve been sitting in my driveway for the past idk how long.  Frustrated.  At everything.  At myself.  What am I doing?  What’s going on?  I turn my car back on and reverse onto the pavement.   

The Process - _________ 30, 2016 It didn’t take long to make this song.  Everything was there, yet out of reach.

Lyrics HOOK tryna reach ya feels like you’re avoiding me i wanna see ya i dont wanna rush i dont wanna wait

VERSE girl i freeze up, when I’m next to you girl i look the, other way when i don’t know what to do everything telling me yes everythings telling me no but my heart’s aching cuz i can’t find a way to let you know

Bridge Am I reading you wrong I won't wait this long

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION There’s beauty in playing it safe.  But maybe it’s not necessarily playing it safe, but taking it as for what it is. 

The Process - August 2015 I wrote and produced this last summer back in August, and recorded a demo shortly after.  At this point, the album is making its way towards recovery.

Lyrics VERSE You make heartbreak feel easy You take my breath away from me

PH Let's pretend that we're just friends So that this right here won’t end

VERSE You smile instead of saying it You make me question if I like it

Bridge I don’t wanna fall in love I just wanna be right here with you It’s best if we don’t know I don’t want this moment to end

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here:  ‘Leaving…’

SONGVERSATION ‘Leaving…’ is about New York City 2015.  I was there for the music program.   Curious, excited, and young.  My eyes and ears were set on music, but by the end of the first week, my heart wasn’t.  Like the fireworks that lit up the night, shining through the tree branches of which we both looking through, I couldn’t help it.  Her name was lemons.  Looking over my shoulder and seeing her look back, what do I do?  Feeling torn and conflicted, yet ok with it all, I eventually settled on “lighting this love with a match.”  And like all flames, this one died out.   

The Process - July 2015 After coming home from a incomprehensible two weeks across the country, I pulled my guitar out from its dusty case and started playing.  I usually refrain from acoustics.  I mean, my last 4 albums were produced on my midi.  But this was different.  It just felt right.  I finished producing the entire track within a week, but didn’t start writing until half a year later.  I was driving down an empty, yellow-lit road.  I was reminded of New York.  And how much I missed it and everyone in it.

Lyrics HOOK If life gives you lemons what do you do

VERSE Summer time vibes Let loose and relax Busy week as always our calendars are still packed

Summer Night Vibes Let loose and relax But sometimes stars align Light this love with a match

Hook If life gives you lemons what do you do

VERSE II Summer time vibes You said lets lose the map You said who cares if we don’t know where we’re at

Summer night vibes let loose and relax as long as its with you we’ll light this love with a match

Outro Go

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION There was this one scene from my favorite movie - Palo Alto.  A fire was burning.  Somehow everyone ended up inside the house again, leaving the two alone.  They talked about them (and the lack of them) and the past.  Things were different now.  Yet, they kept ending up at each others side. 

What if I fucked it up?  A question that was amidst a cycle of being paranoid and naive.  I was struggling with the present while being stuck in the past.  I kept falling under the same cycle each time with a new question.   What do I want?  Didn’t I figure this out?  When will I learn?

The Process - February 27, 2016 I filtered one of my songs through a telephone and spaced it out in the back, leaving room for the samples of my favorite youtube video, movie, and song. 

Lyrics

[jasonsjournal]

Stream here: Soundcloud

SONGVERSATION Regardless of the circumstances or the grip of time, I always found myself gravitating towards beaches.  Whether it was a quick stop at one in Alameda from studying the ACT there all evening, or an intentional visit to SF with my photography friends, like the waves, I kept coming back. Standing sea level with my Vans in the sand, in the middle of it all, I knew that I was going to miss the bay even before I got accepted to college. 

The Process - December 31, 2015 The nostalgic beach-inspired guitar chords started the whole production process on December 31, 2015.  It was the end of the year, end of of college applications, just the end of most things.  I felt uncomfortable with things ending.  April 2016 when I was writing the lyrics to the song, I realized I still feel that way.  Uncomfortable with change, but understanding that

I can’t stay and I can’t stay the same.

Lyrics i’m scared of change i’m scared of losing you but i can’t stay the same

[jasonsjournal]

Lifted Part 1 2015

Clouds (Interlude)

Chill (Demo)

Friends (the Conversation)

Lost (interlude)

Stream Here: Soundcloud

After 'The Party,' I couldn't make any more sad songs. Complete project will be up after I come back.

[jasonsjournal]

The Party 2015

Before

The Party

Outside

Stream here: Soundcloud

It hasn't been a month yet since I've released 'Secrets' But this time, I have nothing to hide and everything to say.

The most honest I've been.

Lately, it's been feeling like I'm living in a movie. Hence, the "story" of The Party.

[jasonsjournal]

Secrets 2015

High

Slippin’

Sunday

Lies

Two On One

Crash

Hi

Stream here: Souncloud

Taken from my post on soundcloud:

“Secrets” is my past year pressed into an EP.

Ever since my first album, “JXSXN,” I’ve spent the past year learning, writing, and experimenting with different production (which is why this project took so long to release). Prior to this, I have never written songs or produced original content to sing over, so I had a lot to learn with high expectations set for myself. I didn’t want to just make looped beats and sing over them - I wanted the vocals, lyrics, and instrumentals to work together as cohesively as possible while standing out independently and respectively in their own unique way.  I didn’t officially start writing and producing this specific album until March because of school, extracurriculars, and (a lot of)*** trial and error.

Summer was my first attempt at a vocal album. I ended up scrapping it (along with the proceeding 17-track album). Maybe I was my worst critic, but I wasn’t happy with it enough to publish it. So I took a break and picked up DJ’ing. At the time, I was in love with the dance and “turn-up” scene. After a couple of gigs, I became more known as a dj than an artist. Don’t get me wrong, I love DJ'ing and being able to control the vibe of the environment, but the more I played other people’s music, the more I wanted to play my own. So as I decided to take a break from DJ’ing, I also took a break from performing. Even though I was trying to push myself as a performer by learning and performing loops, my heart still lied in front of the Notes app and Ableton, writing and producing my own content.

It always boiled down to what I wanted to say. Whether it was DJ’ing or performing covers, I wanted to be me, not a vessel of another artist.

Haha, even though I took a dive pretty deep in music this year, I was still a student, still a teenager. I went through some weird things that I still don’t fully understand enough to explain. Somewhere between the late nights at the beach and the phone calls that I’ll never forget, I got lost. This album wasn’t about me or anyone.

But somewhere along the same nights, the short album “Secrets” was made.

—

“JXSXN is over” I changed my stage name from JXSXN to JASON. To me, JXSXN felt more of a phase than actually me as a whole. People change. And JXSXN just wasn’t me anymore. However, I’m grateful that my fans and friends gave life to JXSXN. Even though the pronunciation didn’t go as planned haha, it still stuck.

And I will never take that for granted.

__

Production Credits

Album Cover Shot : “Envisual” Edited : “Aspire_86” Special thanks to Gloria Zhu for the photoshop tips. Additional special thanks to Calphen Lei, Luis FernandoVargas, and Wesley Ruan aka “Purshoot” for taking the time to give me their take on the album cover.

Written, Performed and Produced: JASON

__

And a final note of appreciation to my friends, teachers, and mentors who kept me grounded and supported me. I can’t express my gratitude enough.

- Jason

[jasonsjournal]

JXSXN 2014

Red | Intro

what do you want | Part One

Regrets

dude we’re gonna be late | Part Two

Caffeinated

Hold On

text | Part Three

Wait

omw | End

Empty Handed | Prologue

Stream here: Soundcloud

This was the start of the album projects...

I started producing in the beginning of sophomore year with no specific goal in mind.  And I think that’s why this project is a little special. It wasn’t about being a “music artist” or getting likes.  There wasn’t any superficial intention.  I just needed to say something.  And by the end of it all, I was left with tracks that reflected my life as a sophomore.  

June was rolling by and I thought why not?  I’m reaching the end of my first half of high school, why not share the story?  So I ordered the tracks chronologically, named it ‘JXSXN,’ and posted.

Some people thought it was a break up album or I did it for a girl.  Which was understandable if you followed my instagram and the convenience of this release.  But I did it for and about myself.  It was a way to reflect on a year of pitiful realizations, growing friendships, sudden relationships, and questioning what I wanted. 

Intro:  The start of how I got into producing.  Passionate red. Part One: The pitiful realization that I was wasting my time for someone who was wasting their time for someone else. Part Two: Driving south to Part Three.  Meeting someone new. Part Three: How it ended End: Barting south to tie up loose ends Prologue: Barting north, empty handed.  But this is the start of something new.  The prologue of what’s to come.

Side note: JXSXN originated from wanting a stage name, but still keeping who I was.  So I made a compromise.  Dropped the vowels.  It looked cool, until all my friends were calling me “jay-ex-sin” haha.  Despite it all, I’m glad it caught on.  JXSXN was later dropped from the second project, more on this on the next post.