Beneath: Jason Todd x fem!reader
request/summary: @jasontoddsthickbabe asked me for a story: Jason doesn’t think he worthy of love until he meets y/n and she also thinks the same bc she’s a thick and chubby girl. Sorry it took me so long, hope you'll enjoy. I took liberty of making Jason and Y/N friends (of some sort :) )
Warning: insecurites, description of body type (no hate here!), cussing and Jason being a walkign warning, oh and angst with happy ending.
I recommend listening to "Beneath you're beautiful" by Labrinth and Emeli Sande while reading.
REMEMBER YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!
Looking in the mirror was painful. Sometimes. Often. Usually.
At first glance everything was all right with her. She had two eyes (one of the very few attributes she liked about herself), a nose, two ears and a mouth.
Yes. That was good.
But then.
Everything below the neck was just…. big. Her breast, her belly, her legs and hips. Her butt. All outsized no matter how much she was trying to hide it or fight it. It was good during winter months were she was wearing sweaters and coats, but she dread every spring and summer, wishing for it to end instead of enjoying the warmth and joy. Going out with friends, especially her girlfriends who were always dressed in tiny sundresses with their perfect lean legs exposed and their perfect, slim bodies brought out by the clothes was literal torture. She never found enough courage to wear anything shorter than ankle-length. Shorts? Mini dress? Nope. Never. Forget it.
And it did not make her feel good. At all.
It was like that for a long, long time. She was working in the newspaper, covering the matter of technology news, but in such workplace she was always watching her perfect, pretty, slender female coworkers, smiling and charming and being chased and adored by bunches and bunches of men. Too often she found bouquets of flowers on their desks, leaving all the girls wondering who was the secret admirer. It never happened to her and as much as she was trying to cover it and suck it up it was slowly killing her inside.
“Hey, Y/N, don’t stress about it. Your day will come.”
“Mhm. Sure it will” she flashed a smile, but her inside just clenched. It would never happen. No one will love her while she looked like that – chubby. So how could she even hope for being the object of someone’s love when everywhere she turned, in magazines, workplace, photos, all the girls were just … skinny. Even in her beloved books the heroines were always tiny, petite, fragile and delicate. God!
At some point she just couldn’t take it any longer and started to avoid integrations and meetings that became too painful. But of course, her boss noticed that and made her join, using the most cliché arguments about coworkers bonding and being a part of the team. Sure, she was a valuable and competent and needed as a coworker. Not so much as a girl or woman. To anyone. But she came to this evening party, once again observing the happy couples flirting and teasing and holding each other, dancing and just being there together.
“I’m gonna be sick” she thought to herself “I’m gonna be sick if I don’t leave right now.” Suddenly, the feeling of being fat, ugly, unattractive and pathetic came running and she had to hold back the tears. She wanted to be in her apartment, in her own bed, with some TV show on, feeling safe and warm and not exposed and judged on the way she looked like. Even if it was barely 9 p.m. Without any word of explanation to anyone she just busted out the door onto the street, not really looking where …..
“HEY! Watch where you going!” clearly angered man on the motorcycle harshly applied the brakes in front of her. The tires screeched and he barely managed to stop before crashing into her. “Are you trying to get yourself killed!?” he yelled taking the helmet of showing his rant and raving eyes and disheveled black hair with a single white strand on the front.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” she yelled back at him “I’m so sorry this fucking of a Gotham city sucks! I’m freaking sorry that you were speeding without any thought of pedestrians in that pretty head of yours!”
“Pretty, huh?” the man on the bike looked at the raging girl in front of him raising an eyebrow at her choice of words, but she couldn’t care less.
“Besides!” she continued “It’s not like you couldn’t see me! I take quite a lot of place! I bet you would act all nice and charming if I was pretty, slim and model-like! Isn’t that what all the boys are about?! A hot girl?! Especially the Waynes!”
“Auch, Y/N. That really did hurt!” Jason put a hand on his heart in pretended pain “you are truly breaking my heart.”
Y/N and Jason met by some crazy accident. Not like the one with the motorbike. A year ago, she found herself doing some journalist work on the tech the criminals in Gotham were using and that was how she ended up working with his detective brother Dick. Long hours at the office swiftly shifted into friendship and soon she met his entire family since Grayson really lived up to his opinion as “a family man.” Alfred and Tom loved her from the very second she stepped into the manor. Damian accepted her without any questions which meant a world in his case. Bruce never complained and never engaged which was pretty much and indication of the same. The only rocky relationship she had was with Jason. They were just a bit too similar in too many cases and that was why their relationship was more of a teasing one than rainbow an roses. But on the other side, they would jump into the fire for each other.
Soon enough, due to her nosiness and insight she figured out all of their secret identities as bats and everyone though she would be in grave danger and tried their best to keep her out of trouble. A month later she kicked the ass of some assaulters who came at her when she was walking home late and from that moment she was never again seen as little, naïve and harmless. (What? I know how to use my assets - she said, obviously referring to her figure. Yes, sometimes it was useful, but not tonight. Tonight she had enough and Jason Todd with his snarky attitude was the last thing she needed.)
“SHUT UP, Jason! I’m done with all the man in this fucking city! I’m done with all the man in the planet and shit, in the entire universe! You only judge with your eyes. Nothing more matters to you…..” her anger was finally out and the last words were barely audible as all the pent up energy deflated “I’m sorry. I was out of line. You were right I should have watched were I was going.” She looked down apologetically.
“Bad day?” he smiled lightly looking at the girl in front of him, leaning on the handlebars and observing her closer. Maybe it was because of all the emotions she just let out but it sparked something in him. Apparently, she had similar anger issues as he did. Besides she was pretty. She had big, honest, glistening eyes, red lips, flushed cheeks and thick messy hair. And she looked so small and vulnerable even if she really was a bit bigger than the girls he was usually into.
“Just regular one.”
“You step in front of motorcycles on your regular days. I don’t think you will get to hate Gotham for long when it turns out deadly for you.”
“Haha. Very funny, Todd. Anyway, have a safe drive home. Try not to drive into anyone of anything.” She turned on her heel ready to walk away but he stepped in front of her stopping her “get out of my way.”
“Believe me, I want to, but as much as I hate Bruce, he taught me to respect woman. So, all those fucking lesson force me to ask, ugh, are you all right?”
“Guilt calling much?” she tilted her head looking up at him. Shit, she was so cute.
“Not at all. You practically admitted it was your fault. “ her eyes grew wide at his scoffing words “I would hate to add the job to the vigilantes in this freaking city if you pass out on the street.”
“Nightwing? I heard he was out of town.”
“You know he is not the only one.” He hissed clenching his teeth. Of course every girl in this freaking city was dreaming about his older brother.
“Oh, you meant Robin. Like the Red Robin? He seems like a nice guy wouldn’t mind meeting him, even in some radical circumstances.
“You really do have a death wish, don’t you little one?”
“Little one?” she mocked “have you seen me? I’m ….. you know what, never mind. Like I said, have a safe trip to the Wayne Manor. Say hi to your father for me and remember to mention that his newest technology have a flaw. I give it a week, tops, before it goes to shit.”
“Wait! Y/N! ”
“See you around, Jace!"
*** A week later, all the press in Gotham was writing about the failure at Wayne Enterprises and Bruce alongside with Tim had to do some damage control and PR action. One of them involved a meeting with the journalists and surprisingly, Jason tagged along.
“Why on Earth are you interested in Wayne Enterprises matters now?” Tim looked at him suspiciously
“Interested? Oh, hell no! I just want to see you two making fools out of yourself and try to explain it all. This will be a load of fun.”
“I hate you, Todd.”
“Sure. I’ll remember it next time you need my help in saving your ass during mission."
The truth was, something was telling him his favorite hysterical girl would be on the meeting and even if he wouldn’t admit it to anyone (himself included) he really wished to see her.
***
“Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne! Here! How would you describe what happened in the enterprises? Was there anyone who got hurt? Is Gotham in danger?” the journalist were screaming and flashing photos, but Bruce had his signature stone cold look on. Slowly, all the press got intimidated and quieted.
“This was a controlled trial. A standard procedure to assess the possible damage of our new product….” Bruce started to explain
“Controlled trial, my ass.” Jason scoffed behind the curtain “She was right, as usual.”
“As usual, hm?” she appeared out of nowhere, sneaking behind his back and startling him
“FUCK! Y/N!”
“Hello, Todd.”
“How the fuck did you get here?!”
“Golden pass. Courtesy of your father. Guess he got a bit worried my words to be published would harm him and his company.” She smirked
“Worried. Bruce Wayne. Worried about you? You overestimate yourself, honey.”
“You underestimate me Jason. At least when it comes to my mind. “
“What are you…..?”
“Nothing. Forget it. I got job to do, so if you excuse me…. “ she winked and joined the once again screaming press “Mr.Wayne! Mr.Wayne!” she turned around and smirked at him once again with that irony in her eyes before disappearing for good. Her wider hips and bottom worked quite well in making some space for her.
It was this exact moment, Jason’s heart skipped a bit watching her indulge in the work with all her enthusiasm and sarcastic attitude. Fuck. He was in deep shit.
***
To say the truth, his reactions at the press conference scared him beyond recognition. He didn’t want to fall for her. It was not planned and definitely not wanted. So he did the only thing he knew how to. He cut all the contact with her. Stupid, freaking idiot. But that was all he knew how to do. Besides, it wasn’t like she was trying to reach to him. Running away from the emotions was the only option for him. A safe one. So he iced her. For three weeks. He was leaving every single time she came visit boys at the manor. He took a detour from his favorite places to avoid passing her work and accidental meeting. He stopped buying coffee at his preferable café, instead threatening Tim to grab one for him wherever he was going there. Everyone knew something was off.
“You are a coward, Jason, you do know that?” Dick said to him one time
“What did you just say to me?!”
“You. Are. A. Coward.” His older brother punctuated every single word like it was a separate sentence.
“I have no fucking idea what you are talking about!”
“Sure, you don’t.” Dick shrugged “I’ll leave you to it then. Won’t give you any hints in the matter. With your thick thinking it might take you ages though. ”
“GRAYSON!”
“What? I said nothing wrong and I stand by this. By the way, do you have a date to the gala next week?”
“No.” Jason scoffed “First of all I’m not going and even if I did I would just go solo.”
“Hm.”
“What now?”
“Jason Peter Todd.” Ladies and gentlemen Bruce Wayne blessed us with his presence.
“Oh, fuck no!”
“You are going to attend the gala next week. This is not a matter of yes or no. This is an order. “
“I’m not taking any orders from you, Bruce!”
“I’m not asking you to take it. I’m commanding you to attend the gala.”
“Screw you all! You can’t make me…..”
***
They made him.
***
At least he bargained this much that he could go alone. No date. No girl on his arm. He thought it would be so much easier this way. But now, as he was watching Dick and Barbara swaying on the floor some sting of pain shot through his heart.
He missed her.
Fuck.
He didn’t need that. He didn’t want that. A month without her should have done the work but it was only worse and worse. This party was a disaster for him even before it started but slowly it was becoming a living nightmare. He started to sweat underneath that freaking suit he was wearing and decided it was the best if he just disappear.
And then he saw her.
The most cliché moment ever, recreation od the every freaking rom-com he knew (which was not many) and it made him feel like an complete idiot when he just froze, rooted to the spot not able to look anywhere but on her. She was so freaking beautiful in the simple, classic dress that stressed her figure. So freaking beautiful his heart started racing uncontrollably.
“Stop staring at me. I know I look like a freaking sausage.” She muttered passing him and heading straight towards the drinks, ready to numb all the feelings.
“Sausage?”
“Yes, Todd. Sausage. I don’t …..” she sighed pulling at her hair nervously “I don’t look like all those girls here…. I am not like Barbara or all those elegant females.”
“You look beautiful” he blurted and instantly regretted that when she looked at him with pain in her eyes.
“Stop making fun out of me.”
“I am not…..”
“Do you have any idea how much time it took me to find a dress that would fit me?” single tear fell from her eyes and he clenched his fists to stop himself from wiping it away “what torture it is looking for any clothes, really? The sizes ends at some crazy small numbers and…..” a ragged breath escaped her
“Y/N….” his heart was breaking with her every word.
“I’m sorry. I’m being boring.” She quickly regained herself “How is your evening, Mr. Todd? How is this possible that you are here all alone? Don’t you know all the single ladies here are eyeing you like you are a prey?”
“If only they knew they are after Red Hood.” He smirked
“Are you crazy? Stop mentioning your alter ego!”
“No one’s listening either way and …..” before he could finish the sentence gunshots came from outside. “Shit!”
“Perfect timing, Jason. Perfect timing.”
“Will you just shut up! I need to get you to safety and take care of whatever scumbag decided to destroy this freaking party!” he grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from the windows that just blew off.
“Go!” she pushed him towards the exit instead “Go! I’ll be fine, I know how to take care of myself. Not my first rodeo” she smirked “Go help your brothers.”
“Promise me, you’ll be safe.” He grabbed her waist and looked straight into her eyes.
“I will. “ she spoke calmly “I promise. Now go!” he took off running but stopped when she called back at him “Jay!?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you are internally happy that this party was crashed!”
“Cut the internally part and you’re just about right!” he laughed and moved to the eye of the fight.
***
“Is everyone ok?” when the threat was taken care of and she was sure the bats were back at the cave she came running straight to the tunnels under the manor.
“We’re good.” Dick smiled despite the bruise on his face “That was not even the worst event I’ve been to.”
“ I bet. What was this all about?”
“Some big fish at the party and some debts from what I put together in the short amount of time I had. And no.”
“What?” she frowned acting all innocent even if she knew what was on Dick's mind.
“You are not going to investigate it further.”
“Of course I will.”
“I forbid you.”
“I don’t take orders from you.”
“You and Jason are so alike at times.” Dick sighed deeply
“Are we? Really? And by the way, where is everyone? Why are you alone?"
"Bruce is taking care of Tim and Damian….”
“You mean he’s scoffing them?” she knew what Batman care meant.
“Yeah, not the first not the last time. They’ll be good. And Jace….. Jace is on the rooftop. He’s fine too. If you want to know.”
“That’s worth noting.”
“Y/N?”
“What?”
“Go talk to him.”
“Orders again?”
“Nope. Just a suggestion. I have quite the observational skills, you know. You two should talk.”
“I don’t see the reason why. But if I were to take a walk now….”
“then I would have no idea where you went.”
“All things considered I think I could use some fresh air. After all, I’ve been through a traumatic events. Gunshots!”
“Good luck finding fresh air in Gotham!”
“I’ll take my chances. And…. Dick? Thank you.”
***
“Jason?” no reaction from the silhouette sitting on the roof watching the stars. “Jason!” now he heard her and turned around.
“Please go away, Y/N.”
“Why? What’s wrong? Come one, we are friends , I guess? All this teasing and fighting is just for fun, right? You are not mad at me or anything?”
“Mad at you? Damn it Y/N. How could you even think so?”
“You went radio silence for quite some time. What was I supposed to think?” she moved forward and sat down next to him making him jump away instantly almost like her presence was toxic.
“I’m … I don’t bite you know.” she joked but her voice was so, so sad at his action.
“Please, go away. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Like what?” she shifted her position to face him “Like what, Jay? I’ve patched you up multiple times. I’ve seen you cut, bleeding , bruised. I know all the scars on your chest and abs and face. What is there that you don’t want me to see?”
“That is fucking it!” he yelled and stood up, the lights from the manor illuminating the blood on his face and some swelling. “You said we are friends and I don’t want to be friends!”
“Oh… ok. I get it. I really do. I mean, how could you ever want to be friends with someone like…. like me. The chubby one. I’m not really anyone’s type. Even as a friend. It’s understandable. I’ll… I’ll just go and leave you. I bet some pretty girl will give you all her attention.” She lifted herself ready to walk away from his life and it terrified him. He couldn’t lost her again.
“NO!” he yelled in frustration
“YES! NO! STAY! GO! What the hell is your problem Jason!?” oh, he pushed her. “I’m done! I’m tired! You keep playing with my mind! I know I’m not worthy of anyone’s love all right! Thanks for the reminder! I’m not,….. right! My body is not right!”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” with one stride he was next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. “Just shut the fuck up!” he whispered against her hair feeling her tense “can’t you see? Can’t you see how I feel about you?”
“Jace? I don’t …..” she tried to pull away and look at him but he didn’t let her afraid that her eyes would make him halt the confession he was making.
“You keep talking about your body and how you don’t think you are worth loving because of it. I get that feeling. I fucking get that feeling. You keep repeating that all the ladies want me, but all I see are eyes on Dick. He’s freaking perfect. Mister Grayson.” He hissed and she was now truly afraid to move a single muscle “As for me? All those scars? I think I am monster. If you think you are not worthy of love then…. Than what can I say?”
“Stop it! Stop it immediately!” finally she freed herself from his hands “You are an imbecile! You are not your scars! You are not the way you look! You are …. You. The smart, handsome boy. The nerd. The literature lover. I see nothing more than that.”
“How can you be such a hypocrite? You praise me and hate yourself?”
“Cause I see you differently than you see yourself.”
“Why?”
“You know why. You are smart. “
“You want to tell me something?” he smirked getting closer and hugging her once again, only this time she hugged him back.
“Now you are getting cocky, huh? A second ago you were about to cry your heart out….”
“I hate you.” his grip grew tighter on her hips and she shifted not feeling good with him feeling all her surplus "stop fidgeting!"
"I'm not comfortable with ....."
"You will learn to be. I'll make sure of it. But for now, I still hate you."
“Mhm, right. And that is exactly why I have nothing to say to you, Todd.”
“Maybe not now. We can work on it though.“ he let out a single laugh and she joined him.
And just like that, the air seemed clearer for both of them as they stood on the roof of Wayne Manor simply holding each other with no words needed.
If only they knew all the family were watching them, checking out who won the bet……
