He’d told Gemma. And honestly he still thought about it when he tried to fall asleep, pondering about what he could’ve said better, or what he should’ve left out. If he should’ve lied or if her reaction was what she truly thought at that moment. He didn’t know if Gemma had told Jasper yet, though given their relationship she most likely had. There was nothing Gemma knew without Jasper knowing, and Noah was aware of that. Still, going to see his little brother and come clean about everything had been hard on him. His heart had been racing the entire walk to his home. He’d decided to take the slow means of transportation so that he had more time to prepare what he was going to say. All futile in the end for the moment they sat down together, he just flapped everything.
He told him about all of it. Starting off with an apology for having left without a proper word to either of them and about how long it had taken to come and see him. Frankly, he wanted to wait until the chaos in his head had set more, which it hadn’t. Not at all. But his sudden meeting with Gemma had thrown all of that into the water. So he told him about Washington, about how legally, he was a Sinclair. According to his birth certificate at least. But how an old family friend of the family had told him the truth. About how their father had married their mother knowing she carried someone else’s child. True love. The woman had called it. It was romantic, that much he could agree with. But because he was the child in question he wasn’t sure how he was to feel about that. Had it meant it had all been a lie? Or had it meant something else? He couldn’t imagine Philip ever having looked at him with the thought he wasn’t his son. He’d seen the pictures. Of how happy he’d been when he’d just been born. How he’d taught him everything a father had to teach his son. Deep down, now that he knew the truth, that’s what Noah felt most guilty about. He’d stolen those moments away from Jasper, who had to learn those things from his older brother and his high school friends rather from his actual father. Did Jasper feel the same way about that now too?
“I don’t know what it means, and what will change. I’m still… processing.. But if you need time to .. figure this out yourself, I understand.” @jasper-sinclair
Apart from the occasional ‘mhmm’ accompanied by a nod of his head to show he was listening, Jasper stayed silent throughout Noah’s explanation. He guessed it was probably easier for Noah to get through it without interruptions, and it made it easier for Jasper to digest. Gemma had told him a little about their conversation but Jasper hadn’t known all the details, allowing Noah to explain exactly what had happened to him. To say Jasper had been dreading this conversation was an understatement. This wasn’t something Jasper could smile his way through, and not knowing how to act made him feel uncomfortable.
It was tough, he hated that Noah had gone through all of this alone. Jasper wished Noah had confided in him and Gemma. They could have gone to Washington together. Although, he understood why Noah didn’t. This wasn’t exactly an easy conversation to have. Part of Jasper was hurt that his parents had kept this secret from all of them. It was sweet that their father stuck by their mother like that, it just reaffirmed what they knew about their parent’s relationship. He just never imagined they’d lie to them like that.
There was one part of Jasper that felt jealous. Noah and their father had always had so much in common. Jasper knew his father loved him, but they just had different interests. They never bonded quite in the same way. Now, in the knowledge that he had bonded that way with someone who wasn’t even his son biologically hurt. Jasper hated himself for feeling that way, he loved his brother and father and was thankful they had each other. It was a feeling Jasper pushed down as he listening to Noah, not wanting to acknowledge it.
“Nothing will change. Not between us anyway,” Jasper replied once Noah had finished. Stripped of his usual sunny attitude Jasper seemed different as he spoke, naked. “You’re my brother. You could be the evil spawn of aliens adopted by humans and that wouldn’t change.”
