NEVER GIVE UP
Mike Driver

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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Xuebing Du
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@jateshi
NEVER GIVE UP
I Have No Teeth And I Must Fundraise
Hey everyone,
It's Your Local Bardic entity, Gallus Rostromengalus of Bread Jesus and other Weird Tumblr Story Fame.
Despite my best efforts to mitigate mt Terrible English Dental DNA, today two of my teeth broke.
I don't even have a fun story about this, it's literally terrible genetics and stress-grinding my teeth in my sleep.
I just got back from emergency surgery to get the pieces pulled and the hole in my jaw closed so I don't get an infection, but a second reconstruction surgery to give me a bone graft and dental implants will be needed so I can actually chew and use my mouth for it's intended purposes.
I do not currently have dental insurance. I haven't talked about it here much, but my husband was unemployed after getting laid off for almost all of last year. He has a job again, but it pays like 2/3rds of his previous one and the benefits are crap. Like no dental insurance until he's worked there at least a year.
So I'm on the hook for the full cost of Today's emergency surgery, Medication, and the necessary follow-up reconstruction, which my dentist estimates will cost between $5000-$7000. Our dentist has given us every discount she can and we have a payment plan, but losing half our household income has left us with no savings and credit cards at their limits. Even though I only need to come up with $500 this month to go ahead with the reconstructive surgery, I do not have any money to spare. It will also be VASTLY cheaper overall to pay for everything up front rather than pay interest over the months with the payment plan, but literally anything will help me right now.
Link To My GoFundMe
Link To My Ko-Fi
Thank you all so much, Gallus
Pic of Chaleston Chew lounging on his pillows because pics generally help these posts but I do not want to inflict images of Dental Trauma on all of you.
you've got to play the fool, sometimes
black & white familiars are fun in theory, until their fur shows on all your damn clothes. maia, elias & the fox belong to @bleaksqueak and you can learn all about them here. and go wish the author a happy birthday while you're at it!
EVERYONE LOOK AT THESE RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW
i really do think we should substitute gacha games instead for like. the random wikipedia article button. gives you the same "yay i got something new and exciting!" feeling without spending any money and you get to learn something new on wikipedia. the problem is that its missing a cute little storage menu where you can see all the links to different articles youve "collected"
so many people could be weaned off of gambling if we just gamified that website a *little* bit
okay so ummmmm. its real
i know things are hella grim in the nsfw/kink art circles especially in the last year --
but I'm hearing there's a NSFW-friendly ko-fi alternative built on atproto that's actively in the works, and being vetted by lawyers right now. as torrent-princess (OP) says, you should be able to swap out payment processors while keeping your account intact. this matters since even if stripe removes support, you'll still have a shop and all of your links intact. (ATproto is an infrastructure that bsky is built on, but is far bigger than bsky with far more opportunities.)
additionally, the Free Speech Coalition is working on a credit union specifically for adult work (including kink art) - here's the link so you can add your interest & support. Since this will be built by sex workers, there'll be far less risk of being debanked for spurious and puritanical reasons.
on a domain TLD level, there's an initiative here for a .furry domain built from the ground up by seasoned furries; it's unclear whether they'll support NSFW, but it's yet another promising turn of events for a group that's been similarly affected by censorship.
there are friends and allies out there helping to build a working parallel infrastructure. keep being vocal, keep supporting these initiatives when it's possible, and keep supporting your nsfw/kink artists. ♥
Do you have any advice for someone else who is in the very beginning stages of the "life is a precious gift rapidly escaping me, I have to change to become someone better and be happy before I've wasted all of it" transition? I'm tired of losing so much life and joy to grief and trauma and I also want to start creating and seeing and enjoying as much as I can for my tiny time as a carbon based lifeform but it's overwhelming to say the least
Actively seek out things that inspire wonder
Look for the good parts. There are good parts. There are interesting parts. There will always be good and interesting parts.
Treat yourself kindly. This one is difficult.
Do things out of ridiculous whimsy.
Practice cog itive behavioural exercises to self-examine and address beliefs and behaviors that are causing suffering.
Don't argue when people compliment you.
Don't rush yourself, and don't assume it'll be like this forever when you have a backslide. These things happen. Over time, they happen less.
Be honest with the people you love and trust.
Tell people how much they mean to you and what you like about them.
Help others and find satisfaction in being the stranger that did something good
Consider speaking to a medical professional, my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medical took some time to figure out but life is WAY better.
Have a silly little craft or hobby.
Let yourself be bored sometimes. Stand outside in the rain and let yourself get wet. Go on a walk. Put your phone in a different room and wander off. Meet up with a friend and go on a long walk together to nowhere in particular
Start doing things because you want to and it feels good, not just because you think it's something you should say yes to.
Say yes to things.
Take a random day of the week and go into a store or a business you've never been in before.
Compliment strangers when something about them is striking.
Read books and watch movies that make you feel the exact right amount of ecstatic and embarrassed, and make all the silly noises about it.
Collect scraps of fabric and little trinkets and all the little textures and colours you love and stash them in a shoebox or something like a tiny dragon's hoard.
Start a collection of something small and inexpensive. Like corks.
Make food with ingredients you've never used before
Make long lists of all your favorite things- flowers, bugs, songs, foods, places
Start a trash-book to fill with scraps of neat wrappers and bits of paper and colored fabric from old ruined clothes
Imagine yourself as a alien from a dead and barren world who has just arrived on this planet for the very first time and imagine how excited you would be by every little thing
Cannot recommend enough that you befriend a creature
If you don't want LinkTree putting your imagery into AI... get out now
Just canceled my account (not that I used it that much). But I won’t permit this. Via @unaminh.bsky.social:
IMPORTANT: For any artists/writers/etc etc, using Linktree to point people to their work, from 5 July, they'll be feeding all imagery you use on your landing page into DALL-E by OpenAI.
…Just so you know.
Hi everyone.
I have a very heavy, very tragic announcement.
This morning, my partner @sprayofstars, suddenly passed away from what the doctors tell us was a heart attack. We've only just gotten home (myself and @darkprincecait) and are still trying to process this. Just yesterday, everything felt fine. We were making plans. Had plans. We'd just had a fun vacation.
My partner of over a decade is gone.
I know I'll get through this, but Cait and I need some support and love. And those whom I owe commissions to, of course, please please please bear with me during this time.
Thank you.
There are exactly two takes on 'do your child soldiers kill people or not?' that I really respect, and it's Fullmetal Alchemist and Animorphs.
From the replies:
@nordicninja Aaaand Avatar the last Airbender
And like, okay, true! But also consider: on this particular front, AtLA is good at this because it is a solid 8.5/10 on the FMA side of this scale.
(The 8.5/10 isn't a critique of AtLA, which is an excellent show on all counts, but it doesn't quite measure up to the FMA threshhold here simply because of the limitations of being an American kids' show. It can do the thing, but it can't foreground the thing or spend five seasons of anime/27 volumes of manga meditating on the ravages and implications of violence, because it's busy also being aimed at 10-year-olds and about other stuff too.)
Witness:
You could defeat the enemy, if you killed him. Your allies say you should. It would work.
It wouldn't even make you a bad person -- not here, not now, not in these circumstances. Of course you wouldn't be "as bad as they are," that's bullshit. Putting down a single mad dog does not equal literal genocide. FFS.
You could do it. You should do it. It would work, and isn't that the most important thing? To stop the horror? In the light of all the sheer destruction and evil at play, your own personal lily-white rejection of culpability is purely selfish. Isn't it?
But, god, you don't want to. You don't want to kill. The whole point is that life is important, is sacred, is worth protecting. You haven't been forced to yet. You keep finding ways around it. You've seen enough death. You don't want to do it.
Here and now, if you did -- it would fix the problem. It would fix things! It would save the day! The world would be inarguably better. You know this!
You know this. You know it because the world will not stop telling you this. Everything you've seen, everything you've been taught. Everything the people you love and respect say to you. And it's not a lie, it's not made up, it's true -- killing, here, in this one case, would help.
Why is the world so set on forcing you to kill? Why is this how the world works, that a child (you're not as young as you were when you started, but you're a child, you were a child, the first time somebody assumed you would someday simply have to be a murderer) gets handed a weapon and made to use it?
We are using the rules that the world set. We are using the rules that the genocidal maniac set. They are the same rules, because there's a reason genocidal maniacs are able to come to power in the first place, because the world is built in a way that violence works.
You know this. You're good at it! You're skilled at violence. It's how you've come so far.
But.
((and you know, the only reason you're able to have these thoughts, is because other people have already killed for you. will kill for you again. will wear the blood on their hands to save your life. somebody else is taking it so you don't have to, and you do not get to forget that.))
But maybe, if you're skilled enough. If you're good enough. If you can find a third option. Maybe, maybe, if you are just clever enough, if you're willing to risk losing entirely, you can do more than save the day.
Maybe you can rewrite the rules. Maybe you can rebel, not just against the genocidal horror villain about to doom the world, but against the entire world in the process.
If you're good enough to find the loophole -- to master the magic -- to put everything you've ever learned into practice. If you can find another way. If you can prove that another way exists.
Maybe you get to do more than close the door on one evil.
Maybe you get to open a new door on the possibility of changing the world.
And also:
@thoughtful-collections Could you go into the Animorphs side of the child soldier question? Obviously they do kill and I think one character even kills many of the yerks while they are defenceless and justifies it as a necessary step to win. I suppose that series is saying there is no avoiding murder/killing/getting your hands dirty in war?
Yesssss
Look, there are a lot of child soldiers in the genre, whatever 'genre' that may be. Some kill easily, thoughtlessly, like any action movie star. Some have Important Moral Lessons on how killing makes us no better than the bad guys. Many of them get their very own generous plot device get-out-of-jail free card: either they have some form of captivity that their opponents get sent to at the end of a fight and we never have to think too hard about false imprisonment without trial (Steven Universe; at least one instance of Power Rangers?; Batman and Robin generally; etc), or, their opponents aren't really people, so it doesn't actually count as murder (media as diverse as the Persona series all the way back to good old Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Sometimes, through sheer force of will, grit, and absolute unparalleled protagonist energy, child soldiers get to avoid killing in a world that makes it a genuine option.
Animorphs looked at all of those options, and it said, nah.
You want a war story, little child? Okay, the books say. Here's a war story. This is war.
Here's how it starts: you're goofing around with your friends one night. You take an ill-advised turn. You watch somebody get horrifically murdered.
No, you can't save him. Yes, you can save yourselves. Get used to that. Get used to it so, so fast.
You're on a trolley. Up ahead are two tracks. On one side: a dozen evil aliens. On the other side: your brother. Make a choice.
Good job, you didn't crash the train into a cliff. By the way, did we mention there are a thousand more tracks? More people tied to each and every one?
You get to put your hands on the steering wheel. You get to drive the trolley. This is a gift. Make a choice.
(Refusing to act is still a decision.)
You can jump off the train, if you want. You don't have to be the one to steer. Maybe you'll even survive the fall. Maybe the friends you're leaving behind will be good enough to make sure they don't run you over on your way down.
Your mom is on one of the tracks, by the way. Your dad. Your sisters, your cousins. Your brother, still.
You don't have to steer. You don't have to do this. You can let the train take its course, you can let it plow through all of humanity. You can let it happen. You get to do that, if it's what you want to do.
Nobody is coming to save you.
On one track: the aliens have names, thoughts, dreams, personalities. On the other track: there are six billion humans on this planet today.
Every single option in front of you is a war crime. If you're lucky, you'll get to pick which one.
(Refusing to act is still a decision.)
It's fun sometimes, driving a train. When there's nobody in the way, for just a little while. When you can pretend you're mowing down enemies in a video game. When you can give into the rush of adrenaline and just be glad you have the skill.
Maybe, maybe somebody will come to save you. They'll take over steering. You won't have to choose.
(Refusing to act is still a decision.)
Who will they choose to hit? Will they care? Will they care enough?
You watch TV. You watch Xena, and X-Files, and Buffy. You can pretend to live in a world where your enemies are nameless monsters without souls, if you want. If that makes it easier.
Is it easier, to kill them soft and vulnerable and completely powerless, unable to fight back? Does that feel better than killing the ones hunting you down, weapons in hand?
You are looking for a loophole. You are looking, and looking, and looking for a loophole. You don't get to fight monsters without souls. You don't get to lock them up in tiny bubble jail. They are going to kill you. This is what you get.
It's you. You're the one standing here. This is what's happening.
Refusing to act is still a decision.
(There is a loophole, eventually. A third path. One of you finds it, eventually.)
(It would not have worked, without years of war first. It took you years of war to find it and if you hadn't killed so, so many, it would not have worked.)
You don't get to be good, in war. You don't get to save the day by sacrificing your own life and remaining morally pure. That would be too easy. War means dead bodies. That's what it means.
That doesn't mean you give yourself over to despair. That doesn't mean you shrug and figure the lives being spent don't matter. You don't get to throw your own moral code on the altar of heroic sacrifice and claim to be the real victim here. It never stops mattering. It will never, ever get to stop mattering.
That doesn't mean you never fight. It just means that when you choose to step up and fight for something, you'd better be goddamn sure it's worth the cost, because chances are somebody a lot less powerful than you is going to be the one to pay.
On one track: Your brother. Your cousin. Seventeen thousand unarmed, helpless enemy agents.
On the other track: a new train's barreling straight at you and all six billion members of the human race. All-out slaughterous war. Giving over the steering wheel to the last hands that decided the best answer to their problems was genocide.
(REFUSING TO ACT IS STILL A DECISION)
You make a choice.
how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever
how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever
how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever
*lays this at your feet*
*flopping noises*
In case the click through link wasn't clear: It's a free+ pack on Ko-fi
being chronically ill is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place
like an illness can have horrible symptoms that can cost you your health and your life but the medication available that can treat it (but not cure it) might cause you to have horrible side effects that can cost you your health and your life. it’s a game of chance sometimes. i’d still always choose the treatment over the illness, and i know i have it better than people had in the past but sometimes i still wish i didn’t have to go through this hell
reblog to slowblink at your mutuals
What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?
When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.
The Force will be with you, always. HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!