javie @javaughnsyw - Tumblr Blog

The pain you once feared

Will look completely foreign when it gets here

There is no one way to prepare

For how your heart will be rearranged

And hurt may still come even when you have spent much of your time anticipating and being scared

So Go forward and be molded

Pain will not be the end of you

Just an initiation to a new balance

There is great change within every challenge

urgetocreate

Scott Prior, Summer Window, 2022, Oil on linen

When sitting in the eye of love gets uncomfortable

When you are anxious about what next spring May hold

Hold your hand over your chest

Make sure someone is home

Let your presence be known

There is two of you

You and your heart

A relation sown in time from the start

Let heart influence your steps

Heart sees what you do not

Even when searching your best

Sun beating through morning fuzz

Losing touch with who I was

Who I wanted to become

Then words come over me

One day I am profound.

Next day I am far out, reveling.

Another passes & I am slow and bound.

Dealing with remnants

Contemplating outside voices

Sifting through my aural resin

Sometimes I want to pour myself til my heart is blue

Sometimes I feel I have no room

I’m romantic and cold

Warm and getting old

Maybe it is not about what I have

But what I hold

Still

Im pretty Clever when things take a toll

I might rationalize right before I weep

Exaggerate my role and who I am when I speak

Terrified of thinking lowly of me

Anxious and I grit my teeth

I’ve died a thousand times in my sleep

But

A new day is rising

I’m ready to feel something deep

A newer day is rising

From everything I will not be

A new day is rising

Keep your eyes open and see what you see

Don’t put yourself in my shoes

You can’t walk my walk or bend my knee

Just look me in my eye

And see what you need to see

The life inside is much more important than me

An ocean to a tide. I will be and then no longer be

Just ask me if I’m good

Take what you need and leave the rest of me where it stood

A tree is still a tree even if you cut you a slab of wood

I’m just doing as I do so I can go where I should

Imperfection is a chance to be something beyond what you think is acceptable.

I. Rebirth

slouching through old memories

old minds

crouched and compressed

soul hiding

that’s no way to use the life left in me

poor timing

better than no more timing

so it’s time to yield to the new me

crawling from my belly on all fours

shrieking and dancing

another part of me

thrown up and crashing

trying to be itself.

fighting for a clear head

eyes bloodshot red from

golden signs

bolded and flashing

it’s time for a new dance.

and some new hands

this pair is worn from piecing

these people in me together

my next heart will do me much better

this one is confined & timid to touch

Too good at doing just enough

you better move

Love requires support, but it doesn’t end there.

sometimes your body needs to cry

without a reason why

it sees so much more

than you do with your eyes

love the pleasure

accept the pain

you can only go

where you aim

overwhelmed and under confident sometimes

but the world may smile at all that you keep in mind

face the funk

ball it up and leave it behind

save room for yourself

in all that you keep alive

the soles of my feet

rose so I peeked

over my bullshit

saw a higher me

told them i sleep

with intentions to be

more than one half of a dream

that’s much bigger than me

i froze up hoping i don’t leak

i always seem to spill

when i feel something real

i gotta get over me

leap

It’s good to hear your voice..

is this thing on?

life be having to break me & split me in 2 to get me to see things properly... I always get the picture eventually tho. one day a time ting.

the best feeling of all my worlds

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