Tsun Diary @jay-dragon - Tumblr Blog

Time for my annual return to tumblr

Guess i’m less emo than last year haha

I don't always get tattoos because they look cool, sometimes I get them because they have meaning.

What sucks about getting over you is that in time we’re just going to go back to being strangers again. I feel like I’ve known you forever but it hasn’t even been a year yet. It’s sad knowing that what we were will be nothing more than a distant bittersweet memory that only we will know. It sucks knowing that we can’t go back to being friends anymore because going back will hurt me too much. I hate that you made me care about you more than I care about anyone else and myself. I miss the warmth and love that you gave me even if it was a lie you were telling yourself. You were the one person I was willing to be there for even during your worst times and I was…but you weren’t willing to let me be there for you and you didn’t even want to be there for yourself, but that’s my mistake for thinking you would have chosen the mature route. I’m frustrated that we acted so quickly on our relationship when I should have waited, this could have preserved our friendship. I hate that I think about you every damn day still but at least I’m not waking up depressed and with anxiety anymore. Thinking about you going back to the how you were before…going back to him…makes me sad because although we don’t speak anymore I still care for your well being and I know that you know that this isn’t what’s best for you. There’s a reason to why you will never get over him, and that’s because you don’t actually want to get over him. I have conflicting feelings about this, I hope that someday you will live a happy and healthy life but I also want to see you crash and burn. I wish I could have been proven wrong about you but everything I thought and everything that gave me anxiety about you turned out to be true. It’s quite the unfortunate but reassuring feeling when you know the things that gave you anxiety were true. It sucks because you werent just a lover, you were my closest friend and I think that breaking up with a best friend hurts far worse than breaking up with a lover. It sucks because you probably would prefer me to hate you rather than love you, and at this point I do hate you. You make me wish I never met you and I hate that you made me love you. Valentine’s Day 2018