hi aria đ„č i just wanna say that i love your works so much. iâve been reading your fics since 2022 and i still to this day every new fic you post. i love how despite being active for so long, you still deliver the best fics and i genuinely love ur writing. it makes me so happy to see you still write and continue posting whereas most authors i liked in 2022 have quit. i genuinely admire ur passion for writing and i hope you continue to do what u love âĄ
hihi anonnie <33 gosh this is so sweet iâm so glad you like my works đ„čđ« this made my day fr, i genuinely js like writing and lowkey am also doing it to expand my vocab and js improve writing in general but trust ill be writing a lot more :3 hope you have the best week ahead ml, youâre lovely đ
if that was an om shaanti om reference in call out my name then ILY!!! i needed the fic.. miss hee so much đ„Č
ohmygod yes it was đââïž the song js came on my shuffle and i decided to add it to the fic cause itâs hee coded :3 im glad you liked it, i miss hee too đ
GENRE/CW: smut (multiple scenes), angst, fluff, porn with plot, down bad hee, switch!hee, lowkey subby hee, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), lots of kissing, cunnilingus, blowjob, dry humping, fingering, sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, marking, crying. mentions of nicknames, messy feelings, lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 24.7k words!
SYNOPSIS: Money canât buy loyalty, and neither can years of friendship. After your boyfriend and your best friend decide to fuck each other behind your back, the only silver lining is Heeseungâthe one person who looks as hollow as you feel. It begins as a petty revenge kiss and a no-strings situationship, but what will you do if it slowly turns into something dangerously real?
A/N: hihi loves <3 sorry for the wait, i had to edit a few scenes but here we are now, i hope you guys enjoy the fic, also i love jaem (sorry jaem), moon nics ricey cameo lets gaurrr <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <3
It really was a sight to see.Â
Your best friend pressed up against your boyfriend like theyâd invented the concept of gravity, her hands shamelessly roaming under the hem of his shirt while his mouth dragged along the line of her neck.Â
No shame, not even a flicker of it. To the drunk, sweating crowd around them, it probably just looked like another hazy corner of the partyâtwo bodies tangled in the dim lights, music blasting so loud it swallowed any guilt, if they cared to harbour any that is, but you saw everything.
To be more precise, you found out yesterday when they got bold enough to fuck each other at your boyfriendâs apartment, and oblivious enough to not notice your presence, or your low chuckle at the depravity of the situation. Instead of feeling mad, you felt that bone deep numbness. Why trust anyone at this point?
Emotionally unavailable, the label had never sounded so accurate, but was it truly your fault when you never felt the need to expect anything from him? It certainly was an experience faking your orgasms for him, but you cared on the deeper levelsâwell, till you found him balls deep inside your now ex best friend.Â
So you sat there now on the worn leather couch, legs crossed, drink dangling from your fingers, watching them like it was just another Tuesday night show.
âOh heyâyouâre here! Have you seen Mina?âÂ
The voice cut through the haze of music and chatter, slightly breathless. You turned your head slowly, lashes lowering just a fraction as your gaze landed on Heeseung.
He stood a few feet away, tall and striking even in the crowd, dark maroon hair tousled like heâd rushed all the way here. His sharp jaw was tense, brows drawn together in mild confusion as he scanned the room. The leather jacket hanging off his broad shoulders caught the shifting lights, and for a moment, you wondered how heâd react to the news of his girlfriend in the arms of his best friend.Â
You tilted your head, lips curving into a slow, amused smile that didnât quite reach your eye,Â
âyeah,â you said, voice smooth as you clicked your tongue, âright over there.â
You lifted your glass in a lazy gesture toward the corner, and Heeseung followed your line of sight. The shift in his expression was immediate and downright visceral. His eyes widened, pupils blown with disbelief as he took in the scene of Minaâs leg hooked shamelessly around his best friendâs hip, her mouth pressed to the underside of his jaw while his hands roamed with practiced familiarity.Â
The way they moved together spoke of stolen nights and secret touchesâmonths, maybe longer.
âTheyâre cheating,â you added lightly, almost conversationally, as if commenting on the weather as you took a slow sip from your drink, âbold choice, doing it in plain sight like this. Guess they figured neither of us would actually show up tonightâI mean, I did mention I wouldnât.â
Heeseungâs adamâs apple bobbed visible, a flash of hurt brewed behind his eyes, before it ignited this anger within him, âwhat the fuckââ the words slipped out rather hoarse, broken.Â
He didnât really look at you, eyes locked on them as if he couldnât look away. Before you could say anything else, he was moving, pushing through the dense crowd with single-minded intensity. You watched his retreating back for a moment, that same curiosity curling in your chest. It wouldâve been a sight to stay and watch the fireworks, sure, but you just got up.Â
You wove through the crowd without hurry, heels clicking softly up the narrow wooden stairs, each step carrying you farther from the mess downstairs.
The upstairs hallway was dimmer, and at the end of it, the balcony door was wide open, letting the night air slip in. You stepped outside, pulling a cigarette from the pack tucked in your jacket, lips closing around it as you flicked your lighter.Â
First drag hit deep, filling your lungs with that bitter, familiar burn. You leaned against the railing, letting the smoke curl out slow between your parted lips, eyes half-lidded against the wind tugging at your hair.
For a minute, everything felt almost peaceful, comfortable even, then the door scraped open behind you, and Heeseung stepped out, breathing hard like heâd run the whole way up. His hair was messier now, dark burgundy strands falling into his eyes, and his faceâgod, his face was a wreck. Eyes glassy with everything he was trying not to feel, cheeks flushed, mouth pressed into a thin, angry line.
Without asking, he closed the distance in two long strides and plucked it right from your lips.
A surprised little chuckle slipped out of you before you could stop it, and you observed how he took a deep, shaky drag from where your lipstick had stained the cigarette, holding it in for long before he blew the smoke up toward the dark sky. His free hand gripped the railing tight enough that his knuckles went white.Â
âFucking hell,â he rasped, voice rough, âhow long? Justâtell me how long theyâve been doing this behind our backs.â
âSince at least yesterday,â you said, âI walked in on them fucking in his dorm, didnât even have the decency to lock the door,â a faint smile ghosted your lips, âI just closed it again and left.â
Heeseungâs head turned toward you slowly, eyes wide with shock, the cigarette nearly slipping from his fingers, âyou saw them and didnât say shit?â
You shrugged, âwhat was there to say? They wanted each other, and Iâve never been the type to drown myself that deeply anyway. It just felt odd to see Mina do it, that part did affect me, years of friendship drowned for what? A guy.â
Heeseung let out a disbelieving huff, running a hand through his already tousled hair, âJaemin was my best friend, man. Weâve been tight since freshman yearâshared everything. And now this?â His voice cracked slightly, âfeels like a fucking knife in the back from both sides. They looked guilty for a second but didnât even bother following me here to explain themselves, though they did have the audacity to ask me not to tell you.â
You studied him for a moment through his ramble, the way the balcony light cast sharp shadows across his sharp jaw and the pained lines around his eyes. He looked devastatingly undone, yet there was something resilient in the way he stood there, refusing to crumble completely. The sight stirred a spark in your chestâthat familiar free-spirited curiosity.Â
You passed the cigarette back to him after a puff, âpeople reveal their true colors eventually. Itâs pragmatic to accept it and keep moving instead of letting it rot you from the inside.â
Silence stretched between you, thick with shared betrayal. Heeseung took another drag, then offered it back, his gaze lingering on your face with astute observation, like he was trying to peel back the layers of your calm detachment, he just couldnât understand how you seemed soâunaffected?
You crushed the cigarette against the railing and flicked it into the night. That proactive restlessness bloomed brighter inside you, eyes gleaming with mischievous insight.
âWanna do something fun?â You asked.Â
Heeseung blinked, lips parting in surprise, âfun? Like right now?â
âMhm,â you stepped closer, âare you okay with a kiss, Heeseung?â
His breath hitched audibly, throat bobbing, âaâa kiss?â The word came out hoarse, almost stunned. His gaze dropped to your mouth, lingering, before snapping back up, cheeks flushing darker, âyou serious?â
âVery,â you held his stare, âyes or no?â
âIsnât that cheating?â He looked devastatingly clueless even mumbling that question, and you raised your brow.Â
âYes or no?â You asked again.Â
He searched your face, the raw pain still churning, but something hungrier kindled beneath itâcuriosity. After a beat, he gave one slow nod making you chuckle.
You took his hand and led him back down into the partyâs suffocating crowd, and he followed without asking any questions. In the corner, Jaemin and Mina were still shamelessly entangled, her arms looped around his neck, his hands possessive on her hips.
You stepped straight into their space without hesitation, grabbing Jaeminâs arm to pull him back.Â
The sharp crack of your palm across Jaeminâs cheek echoed through the room, his head whipped sideways. Mina stumbled back with a gasp as the crowd around you froze, then erupted in murmurs and the bright flare of phone screens.
âWhat the fuck?â Jaemin snarled, clutching his reddening face, eyes blazing the instant recognition hit, âwâwait, Y/N?âÂ
Minaâs face drained of color, âweâwe didnât think you would show up tonightââ
You desperately wanted to laugh, but you maintained your character, cause how were they dumb enough to think that you wouldnât find out, especially when Heeseung did too.Â
âClearly,â you said, getting ready to lie beautifully, âHeeseung told me everything. How long have you two been fucking behind our backs?â
Whispers exploded outward. Jaemin fumbled for excuses, mouth opening uselessly.
âI didnât expect this from you Mina,â you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek as tears started forming in her eyes.
âNoâlisten to me, we didnâtââ
âWhatever,â you continued, a crystalline laugh escaping you, âbe happy with each other, Iâll find someone better.â
You turned away from their frozen faces, and Heeseung stood right there, looking completely wrecked. Your eyes met his, like really met them. For a second everything else including the stares, the phones, the bassâfaded into background noise.
He looked at you like you were the only person left in the room, and maybe to him, you were.Â
You stepped in close, sliding your hands up his chest. His heart was pounding under your palms, doe eyes full of trust and anticipation for what was to come. Heeseungâs breath caught, but he didnât move away. His hands found your waist almost on instinct, fingers spreading wide and warm through your clothes, before pressing in to hold on tighter.Â
His gaze dropped to your mouth before flicking back up, nodding slightly as he understood the question you asked him earlier.Â
Which is why you tilted your head and kissed him.
You slotted your lips against his rather softly, just to test him at first. His mouth was warm, faintly tasting of smoke and the drink heâd had earlier. He froze for half a second, stunned at the easiness of it all, then let out this quiet, broken sound against your lips and kissed you back.Â
The kiss turned deeper fast, hungrier. Your tongue brushed his and he groaned low in his throat, the vibration rolling straight through you. You slid one hand into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands, while the other stayed fisted in his jacket, pulling him closer. Heeseungâs grip on your waist tightened almost painfully so, one arm wrapping further around your back to press you flush against him. His chest rose and fell hard against yours. You could feel every shaky breath, the way his fingers trembled just slightly where they dug into your sides.
It was messy, a little desperate. Tongues sliding, breaths mixing hot and uneven, the faint wet sound of it somehow louder than the music behind. He kissed like he was pouring every bit of hurt and anger and sudden want into you as you took it all, giving the same right back.
When you finally pulled back just enough to breathe, Heeseung was completely gone. Lips swollen and shiny, chest heaving like he couldnât catch his breath, eyes dark and hazy like his brain had short-circuited. A wrecked little sound slipped out of him, half-gasp, half-groanâas he stared at you, dazed and breathing hard.
Your smile embodied satisfaction as you leaned in again and pressed one slow, teasing peck to his parted lips, letting it linger just enough to make his breath hitch all over again.
Jaemin and Mina were staring like theyâd seen a ghost with their jaws dropped, faces pale, eyes wide with pure disbelief. The whole party had gone dead quiet around you, everyone watching, phones still pointed your way like this was the best drama theyâd seen all year (it probably was).
You laced your fingers with Heeseungâs, gave his hand a light squeeze, and tugged him toward the door.
âLetâs get out of here,â you murmured close to his ear, voice low and a little playful against his skin.
Heeseung didnât argue, just followed, still breathing hard, fingers gripping yours tight as the door swung shut behind you.Â
The cool night air hit your heated skin, and for the first time tonight, everything felt wide open again.
A rather loud screech right next to your left ear woke you up, and you wondered if the world had somehow been corrupted by zombies because thereâs no other explanation for such sounds, but your friend made it possible somehow.Â
You jolted, heart kicking once before your brain caught up. Sunoo was practically jumping beside your bed, phone in his hand, âone timeâone single time I decide to stay in and catch up on sleep and you create a fucking scene? Gosh, babe.â
Winter shoved the door the rest of the way open with her shoulder, hoodie sleeves pushed up to her elbows, hair still a wild mess from her deep sleep. She planted herself at the foot of your bed, arms crossed, eyes narrowing at you, âfuck, Y/N,â she said before her tone got softer, âare you okay? I fucking knew that girl was a snake from the first time she came over. And your boyfriend? I always hated him, al-fucking-ways.â
You were still blinking, eyes half open and not willing to adjust to the brightness. Right then, a chuckle escaped your lips at the memory of last nightâand you tried to remember the last time you felt so satisfied (maybe never?).Â
Sunoo dropped onto the edge of your mattress without waiting, âI always said we are your besties. The kind whoâd help you hide a body, no questions asked. Ride or die, baby.â
You sat up straight, blanket pooling around your waist, and opened your arms because of course they were right, âcome here, idiots.â
They didnât hesitate, Winter climbing on first, wrapping her arms around you like she could shield you from the whole damn world. Sunoo piled on top a second later, all limbs and very dramatic sighs, squishing the three of you into a tangled heap of familiar warmth.Â
âYeah,â you murmured into Sunooâs shoulder, voice muffled, âyou two are stuck with me.â
Winter huffed a soft laugh against your neck, âgood, because weâre not letting you deal with that snake ex-bestie and cheating ex-boyfriend shit alone. Weâre burning that chapter together.â
Sunooâs voice came out muffled too, âandâweâre keeping the video forever, that kiss looked cozy girl, what else did you doââ
You let yourself sink into the warmth for a long moment, the bone-deep numbness from yesterday easing just enough to let something real and grateful slip through. The sting of Minaâs betrayal was still there, but it felt distant nowâalmost coherent in its simplicity.Â
People drift apart, friendships end. Youâd always known that. What intrigued you more was how easily these two could make the weight feel lighter, their amiable chaos wrapping around you like a promise that some things indeed were here to stay.Â
Meanwhile, Heeseung was suffering.Â
Jay had shoved his phone into Heeseungâs face, close enough for him to make out, uh, absolutely nothing. It seemed like a blurry mess of lights until Jay yanked it back to show Heeseung a pixel version of you grabbing his jacket and pulling him into what appeared to be a passionate kiss.Â
The angle caught the exact moment his hands found your waist, the way his shoulders had tensed then eased up all at once. Heeseungâs ears burned red so fast it felt like someone had lit a match under his skin.
âBro,â Jay said, grinning, âthe video is everywhere, especially on the uni insta page for students. Someone made it into a trendâitâs actually insane.â
Before Heeseung could even form a coherent thought, the bedroom door slammed open hard enough to rattle the frame, scaring both the boys.Â
Jake came barreling in, hair still sticking up from sleep, eyes wild, âyou bitchâyou kissed Y/N? Sheâs mineâI called dibs on her months ago!â
Heeseung groaned, dragging both hands down his face, âsheâs not an object, Jake.â
âOh fuck youâyou know I like her,â Jake shot back, dropping on his knees.Â
Sunghoon strolled in next, casual as ever, one shoulder propped against the wall. He let out a low whistle and Heeseung wondered what the fuck is wrong with his friends, âso youâre what? Dating now? That was one hell of a plot twist.â
Jay sniggered, not even trying to hide it, ânah dude, you think he can handle someone like Y/N?â
Jake tried to butt in again, âI canââ but the rest of them talked right over him like usual.
Heeseung sat up slowly, the full reminder of the last night coming right back to him. The slap echoing through the room, the way youâd looked at him right before you kissed him, eyes bright with that reckless spark. The way heâd kissed you back like he enjoyed it. He swallowed hard, throat tight.
âDid I cheat on Mina?â He asked quietly.
The room went still for half a second, all three of them looked at him like heâd grown a second head. Jay let out a disbelieving laugh, âshe cheated on you while you were still together.â
âYeah but I kissed someone else literally a few minutes laterââ
âDoesnât matter,â Sunghoon cut in, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Heeseung stared at the blanket pooled over his lap, replaying the kiss againâthe heat of your mouth, the way your fingers had twisted in his hair, that soft, teasing peck you pressed to his lips after. It had been the best kiss heâd ever had. The whole situation felt far too complicated for the simple labels his friends were throwing arounf, and yet he couldnât stop the memory from looping behind his eyes.
Jay sighed, softer this time, leaning back on his elbows, âdid it feel good?â
They all looked at him. Heeseung didnât answer right away, he just swallowed again, the memory burning behind his eyes like it refused to fade.
You on the other hand were absolutely not functioning when Sunoo had a trillion questions lined up for youâall of which consisted of Heeseung. You three had just managed to make coffees when the loud knock interrupted you. A sigh was all you could manage as you opened the door to find your pathetic excuse of an ex standing there withâroses? Wow, he didnât even have the decency to remember that you were allergic.Â
He spoke up before you could, âI know i deserved that slap.â
Well, obviously.Â
âI messed upâI swear I donât want her.â He was looking at you with that pout he mustered whenever you both had disagreements.Â
You bit down your laugh, âyeah? So?â
âTake me back, baby, please?â
Right then someone flew past the door, and your mouth hung open as Sunoo straight up landed a kick on Jaeminâs thigh, resulting in him falling down with pain. Now, you laughed freely as Sunoo bent down to warn him, âstay away from her, okay?â
Jaemin turned to look at you, eyes wide, âwhatââ
âYou heard him, weâre over, Jaemin,â you shrugged, wrapping your arm around Sunoo as you both walked inside, Sunoo glaring at man till the door closed shut.Â
Jaemin stayed on the ground for a few more seconds, roses scattered around him, a thorn making him bleed just enough for him to roll his eyes.
That went well.
The afternoon sun filtered softly through the leaves of the uni garden, casting dappled shadows across the wooden bench where you sat. It had been three days since the party, and the campus still hadnât let either of you forget it. Random students kept approaching you in the hallways, the library, even the coffee lineâsome offering awkward condolences, others straight-up calling the slap and the kiss badass with wide-eyed admiration.Â
You sipped your mango matcha slowly, the garden was quiet now, just the distant hum of students walking between buildings and the soft rustle of leaves overhead. You felt normal, jolly even, like it hadnât affected you, but even you couldnât deny how good of a kiss it had been.Â
Too lost in the pdf in your iPad, you didnât notice Heeseung approaching until his shadow fell across your lap. He stopped a few feet away, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, hair still slightly messy and he somehow made it look good.
âHey,â he said, voice polite as it had always been, âcan we talk?â
You looked up, lips curving into an amiable smile, âsure, câmere sit,â you patted the empty space beside you on the bench and held out your mango matcha toward him, âwant some? Itâs good.â
Heeseung only cocked his brow, âsame straw?â
You blinked innocently, âyouâre saying that as if we didnât make out in front of the entire party three days ago.â
He stared at you for a moment, intrigued cause of your carefree answer, before he reached out and took the cup anyway. He drank without hesitation, the straw brushing his lips where yours had been moments ago, and when he lowered it, the corner of his mouth twitched.
You chuckled, watching the way his shoulders loosened just a fraction, âsoâtalk, whatâs on your mind, Heeseung?â
He handed the cup back, fingers brushing yours for a second longer than necessary, âIâve been thinking about that night. A lot.â His voice was quiet, almost hesitant, but his eyes stayed on yours, âthe kiss, the way you just handled everything. I keep replaying it and I canât make it make sense.â
You tilted your head, taking another slow sip before answering, âwhatâs there to make sense of? They cheated, we both saw it. I decided not to let it ruin my night and you were there. The kiss happenedâsimple.â
He let out a short, disbelieving breath, running a hand through his hair, âItâs not simple for me. Mina was my girlfriend, Jaemin was my best friend since freshman year. And so much happened in likeâan hour,â he paused, eyes searching your face, âdid it really not mess with you at all?â
You shrugged, âIt stung a little actually. Losing Mina as a friend after all those years felt kindaâodd? But drowning in it? Not really my thing.â Your lips curved again, âiâve never been the type to hand my whole heart over and expect it to stay put.â
Heeseung watched you for a long moment, âyou make it sound so coherent,â he muttered, almost to himself, âlike itâs all justâlogical. Meanwhile Iâve been walking around campus getting stopped by random people asking if weâre together now. Itâs been three days and I still feel like my headâs spinning.â
You laughed lightly, âsame here, a guy offered to buy me coffee because I deserved better, Itâs weirdly entertaining.â
Heeseungâs mouth twitched into a half-smile, the first real one youâd seen from him today, âyeah, even my friend Jake was sort of, how do I even put it? But yeah, he wasnât thrilled, hes got some crush on you.âÂ
Your eyes sparkled, âwait, isnât he the cute one with an accent? I like him.â
He shook his head at how you would probably encourage Jake, the thought was rather unsettling, then looked at you again, more serious, âbut, yâknowâthe kiss, that part wasnât just for show.â
That made you pause for a moment, and you held his gaze, intrigued by the way he was looking at youâlike he was trying to figure out how someone could be so calm in the middle of the wreckage.
âSo what are you saying?â You asked, voice soft but direct, âyou regret it?â
âNo,â he answered almost immediately, âI donât regret it, thatâs the problem. It felt good and I keep wondering what the hell that means when everything else is such a mess.â
You leaned back against the bench, letting the sun warm your face for a second, âit doesnât have to mean anything big, I meanâwe both got screwed over.â You watched how pretty he looked under the sunlight, lips slightly red cause heâd been biting them, âmaybe we donât overthink it. Maybe we justâjust see where it goes.â
Heeseung took the cup again, fingers brushing yours once more, and this time he didnât pull away right away, âyouâre really okay with that?â
You smiled, âIâm okay with a lot of things, Heeseung. Especially if they feel good.â
Neither of you said anything more for a moment. The conversation didnât need to be solved today, for now, sitting here with him, sharing the same straw and the same tension, felt like enough.
Heeseung has always been a man of few words, but even those little words seemed to disappear when you were around. And the worst part? You werenât even aware of it.
You werenât the one to intrude on anyoneâs personal space, and that included Heeseung, much to his relief (or dismay?), he was justâconfused.
A week had slipped by since the garden talk, and the quiet tension between you two had only grown heavier. Heâd spent the days avoiding Minaâs messages, the knot in his chest tightening every time her name appeared. But youâyou were everywhere. In literature class you sat three rows ahead, never together, but he stared. He couldnât stop noticing the way the light caught the curve of your neck when you leaned over your notes, the soft way your fingers tapped the edge of your pen, the small, absent smile that played on your lips when something in the lecture amused you. Every stolen glance left him more tangled than the last.
Tonight the restlessness had won. He pulled on a hoodie and walked to the 24-hour convenience store near the dorms, craving something mindless like his ride or dieâramen to quiet the noise in his head.
The annoyingly white lights buzzed overhead as he stepped inside, grabbing a basket and turning down the snack aisle, mind still half-lost in yesterdayâs class when youâd stretched and your shirt had ridden up just enough toâ
He stopped just then, cause you were right there,
standing in the middle of the aisle in soft pink pajama shorts that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs and a matching oversized hoodie that had slipped off one shoulder, you looked unfairly soft and warm, like youâd just rolled out of bed. Your hair was a little messy, and you were reaching up for a pack of strawberry gummies, the hem of the shorts riding higher with the movement.
Heeseungâs mouth went dry, and he wanted to slap himself for acting like a fucking creep.
You turned at the sound of his footsteps, eyes meeting his across the narrow aisle. A slow smile curved your lips, the same one that had been haunting him for days.
âHey,â you waved at him, like running into each other at midnight in pajamas was the most normal thing in the world, âcouldnât sleep either?â
Heeseung swallowed, stepping closer despite the way his pulse kicked up. The faint scent of your shampoo clinging to your hair, âneeded ramen, the boys emptied the fridge I swear,â he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck.
You nodded in understanding, âsame lowkeyâwas staring at the ceiling but then decided to get out.â You tilted your head, looking at him a little closer, eyes tracing the tired lines on his face, âyou look like youâve got a lot going on up there. Want to talk about it while we walk back?â
Heeseung hesitated for half a second, then nodded, âyeah, sounds good.â
You paid for your stuff together, the cashier barely glancing up, and stepped back out into the cool night air. The walk was easy at first, with absolutely no words being exchanged, your shoulders brushed every few steps, Heeseung kept his hands in his pockets, but he could feel the warmth of you next to him, the soft brush of your hoodie sleeve against his every time you shifted.
âBeen a week,â he said after a few minutes, âMina keeps texting, and of course I havenât answered. It feels weird ignoring her, but answering would feel worse.â
You hummed, glancing at him sideways, âI get that. Sometimes the easiest thing is just to let it sit there until it stops stinging, yâknow?â Your arm bumped his again as you walked, and you didnât pull away, âyou holding up okay with all of it?â
He just nodded, granting you a smile which made the corner of your lips lift up too, and he asked you the same, to which you laughed as if nothing had even happened.Â
It was so nice just walking beside you, even in silence, at this cursed hour of midnight, though Heeseung would argue and say that he felt more awake now than he did the whole day.Â
The dorm buildings came into view too soon, but then Heeseung saw something that made his steps falter on the pavement, body going rigid right beside you. It made you follow his line of sight, and of courseâMina was there, walking straight towards his building, head down and mind completely focused on her phone. She hadnât noticed you yet, but it was clear that she was going to approach Heeseung.Â
âShit,â he muttered under his breath, panic flashing across his features in a way you could feel it reach you too.
Before you could provide him with two words of comfort, his hand slid around your waist, fingers spreading wide and warm through the thin fabric of your hoodie. He pulled you in close, so close that your side pressed flush against his, the heat of his body juxtaposing the chill of the air. His palm was steady but his fingers trembled a little against your hip as you caught the faint scent of his cologne, it was clean and woody, just how you liked it.Â
âPlay along, please?â He whispered urgently against your ear, voice rougher now.
You only chuckled, leaning into him as if youâd done it before, slipping your arm around his back, fingers resting lightly against the small of his back. Your head tilted up towards him, a soft smile curving up as you looked at him. Heeseung was flushed cause, damn were you good at acting.Â
âGot it,â you murmured back.
Mina looked up at the exact moment, eyes widened at the sight, a gasp leaving her lips as she watched Heeseungâs hand slide lower on your back as you reached his dorm door.
You didnât even realize you were biting your bottom lip until Heeseungâs gaze dropped straight to it, his breath hitched, thumb pausing on your cheek as his other hand came up to cup your face, warm palms cradling your jaw like he was afraid you might pull away.
âCan I?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes searching yours.
You didnât answer, just leaned in, closing the small gap between you, and pulled him into the kiss.
Your lips met his softly at first and Heeseung made a quiet sound against your mouth, his hands cupping your face fully now, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as he kissed you back. The taste of him was faint, a hint of the cherry juice he must have had earlier. Your own hands slid up his chest, fisting lightly in his hoodie as you tilted your head to kiss him a little deeper.
When you finally pulled back, Heeseungâs eyes were dark and a little dazed, lips parted and cheeks flushed. His thumbs were still stroking your cheeks, reluctant to let go.
Mina stood frozen a few feet away, face pale, cause she swore to herself it was an act, but this? It didnât seem like one.Â
Heeseung didnât look at her, just tightening his grip on your waist and guided you through the door, pulling you inside with him. The warmth of his palm stayed glued to the small of your back the whole way, steady now, like he needed the contact to stay grounded.
Inside the apartment, Jake was sprawled on the couch in the living room, a half-eaten pizza box open on the coffee table, some mindless show playing low on the TV. He froze mid-bite when he saw you, eyes going wide.
You smiled, bright and completely at ease, like showing up at this hour with Heeseungâs arm still around you was the most normal thing in the world, âohâhey. Jake, right?â
âY/N? Uh yesâhi, youâre here?â Jake stuttered, making Hee roll his eyes.
You just walked over to him, dropping onto the couch beside him acting all normal though your heartbeat said otherwise, âyeah! Mind if I steal a bite?â
Jake blinked, then grinned like an idiot and lifted the slice he was holding right to your mouth, âhere, go for it.â
You leaned in and took a bite straight from his hand, cheese stretching between your fingers as you chewed, âmhm, this is actually good, thanks.â
Jakeâs face lit up even more, âright? You can have the whole slice if you want.â
Heeseung stood there watching the whole thing, jaw tight. He lasted about five seconds before he groaned low in his throat, âalright, thatâs enough.â He crossed the room in two quick strides, caught your wrist gently but firmly, and tugged you up from the couch, âcâmon.â
You let him pull you up, giving Jake a little wave over your shoulder, ânight, Jakey. Thanks for the pizza.â
Jake just waved back, still grinning, âanytime!â
The second Heeseungâs door clicked shut behind you, silence filled the roomâit was dim, lit only by the desk lamp, the air suddenly too warm and too small. Heeseungâs back pressed against the door, eyes dark and fixed on you before he walked over and plopped on his bed.Â
You clicked your tongue, tilting your head at him, ânow sheâs gonna think weâre dating.â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, looking genuinely sorry, âyeahâI know. Iâm so sorryâI just panicked and pulled you into this whole thing. You didnât have to go along with it.â
You shrugged, stepping closer until you were right in front of him. Then, without warning, you turned and sat right down on his lap, straddling his thighs like it was the most natural thing in the world. Heeseungâs breath caught, hands instinctively landing on your hips to steady you, eyes wide with surprise.
âI did kiss you first at the party,â you said, âso itâs kinda my fault too.â
Heeseungâs fingers flexed on your hips, holding you there. He gulped, throat bobbing visibly as he looked up at you, âso, now what?â he asked, voice rough.
You shrugged again, still sitting comfortably on his lap, fingers playing with the collar of his hoodie, âitâs your call, Hee.â
You kept talking as Heeseung pondered deeply about his choices. He didnât register you saying something about how Jakeâs face was priceless because Heeseung wasnât listening anymore. His eyes had dropped to the exposed line of your clavicle where your hoodie had slipped down, tracing the smooth skin there, then moving up to your lipsâstill a little shiny from the greasy pizza, slightly parted as you spoke. The way you were sitting on him, the soft weight of you on his thighsâit was too stimulating for him.Â
He didnât say anything, just leaned in and kissed you hard, mouth practically crashing into yours, one hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck, the other staying firm on your hip to keep you right where you were. There was nothing hesitant about it this timeâit was hungry, deep. His tongue brushed yours, and he groaned quietly into the kiss, the sound vibrating against your lips. You could feel the way his fingers tightened in your hair, the way his chest rose and fell fast against yours, the way his body reacted instantly to having you on his lap like this.
You kissed him back just as hard, hands sliding up his chest to fist in his hoodie. A soft moan slipped out of you when he sucked on your bottom lip, and Heeseung made this low, wrecked sound in response, hips shifting under you.
âFuck,â he breathed against your mouth, barely pulling back, âthis okay? Tell me if you want to stop.â
You shook your head, lips brushing his as you answered, voice already breathy, âdonât stopâkeep going.â
He groaned and kissed you harder, tongue sliding against yours as one hand slid under your hoodie, palm warm on your bare back. You rocked your hips down against him and he moaned into your mouth, the sound raw.
You pulled back just enough to speak, forehead resting against his, âwe doing this then?â You breathed against his lips, âno strings, just whenever we want or need?â
Heeseung swore you could read minds, âyeah,â he sighed in pleasure, âI want thatâyou and me, no strings.â
You smiled against his lips and kissed him again, deeper, grinding down slowly, âgood fucking boy.â
He groaned louder, the sound vibrating through you as his fingers dug into your thighs, âshitâIâve been so fucking pent up,â he muttered between kisses, hips rolling up to meet yours, âall week because of you.â
You moaned softly, rocking against him again with a chuckle, âthatâs adorable, keep going, yeah? Donât stop.â
He flipped you suddenly, laying you on your back and settling between your thighs. The new position made you both moanâthe weight of him pressing you into the mattress, lips chasing yours mindlessly as his tongue slid against yours, hand tracing higher under your hoodie, hips grinding down slowly.Â
âGod, you feel good,â he muttered, pulling you down for another kiss.
You nodded, moaning softly into his mouth, âso do you.â
The room filled with the sounds of lips, heavy breathing, and quiet moans as you kept moving together, hands roaming, bodies pressing closer. The conversation faded into breathy words and soft sounds between kisses, and honestly, both of you didnât care about much anymore. You both were just two horny adults functioning on a verbal agreement with no rules whatsoever.Â
Outside in the living room, Jake had just taken another bite of pizza when the first loud moan drifted through the door. His eyes widened with betrayalâthe slice slipping from his fingers and landed cheese-side down on the floor with a pathetic splat.
He stared at the closed door for a long second, mouth still full.
âWellâshit.â
You didnât know that the consequences of spending one night with Heeseung could be so dire, granted you didnât go beyond some innocent humping which bestowed you with the absolute pleasure of seeing Heeseung desperate and flushed underneath you.Â
The question bugged youâwhy would Mina even wish to leave such a beautiful man whoâs very willing to provide pleasure?Â
You were still turning that over in your head as you walked down the hallway, iPad tucked under your arm, one AirPod in, but your mind was elsewhereâwhich was odd considering you never were the kind to just stand and ponder about random things, during the day time at least. The last time it happened was when you were a kid and Zayn had left One direction.Â
Regardless, you chuckled at the idea of Heeseung being the one to garner your attention, since you never saw him in that light beforeâsomething about friendsâ partners being inanimate to you. Either way, you started walking back towards your dorm since the lectures were over, only to be stopped by Mina blocking your path with a scowl on her face.Â
You raised an eyebrow, âhey?âÂ
âWe need to talk,â she huffed, looking rather tired, maybe with the way people stopped the second they sensed any drama, and why wouldnât they? You both were the centre of it given the circumstances.Â
âDo we really?â You gave her a lazy look, knowing well it bothered her.Â
Her jaw clenched. âYou kissed Heeseung. In front of everyone. While he was still with me.â
A couple more heads turned. You could feel eyes on you now, phones probably already sliding out of pockets.
You let out a short breath, almost a laugh, âwhile he was still with you? Thatâs rich. Last time I checked, you were the one fucking my boyfriend in his dorm with the door wide open. I walked in on you two, actually. So maybe donât lecture me about cheating.â
Minaâs cheeks flushed, âthatâs not the sameââ
âIt kind of is,â you cut in, keeping your voice even, âHeeseung didnât deserve to find out like that, neither of us did, but at least I didnât sneak around for months like a coward. And yeah, I kissed himâIâd do it again. Heâs too good for the way you two treated him.â
Minaâs eyes flashed with anger, âyouâre no better than me. You basically cheated tooââ
âBro, are you actually serious right now?â
A tall guy with messy black hair and a skateboard tucked under his arm stepped out from the edge of the crowd. Youâd seen him around in a couple electives. He looked Mina up and down, completely unimpressed, having seen the scene at the party in flesh too.Â
âEveryoneâs seen the video,â he said, loud enough that the people nearby nodded, âI literally saw you and Jaemin at the party. Youâre the one who cheated, leave her alone.â
A girl a few feet away nodded like she agreed. Mina glanced around at all the stares, lips pressed tight, then spun on her heel and shoved through the crowd, practically running toward the exit.
You let out a real laugh this time, almost like you couldnât believe this was real, that your own friend would turn against you in such a manner. Riki turned to you, one corner of his mouth lifting.
âDamn,â he said, âthat was satisfying.â
âYeah,â you agreed, still chuckling as you started walking again, âthanks for stepping in. You really didnât have to.â
He shrugged, falling into step beside you, âsheâs been trying to change the perception, i saw her lying to my friend earlier. Someone had to say it. Iâm Riki by the way, or Ni-ki, whatever.â
âY/N,â you said, bumping his shoulder lightly, âseriously, I owe you a coffee for that.â
âBet,â he smirked, already pulling his phone out, âjust text me whenever. Iâm free most afternoons.â
Ten feet away, half-hidden behind a cluster of students, Heeseung had stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. Jay almost walked straight into his back, headphones on so conveniently, he missed the whole commotion.Â
âYou good?â He asked, lifting one side of his headphones, âHeeseung?â He asked yet again when he didnât get a reply.Â
How would he? When Heeseung was deep in thoughts, the tips of his ears red. Everyone knew he was the guy who kept to himself, not the kind to insert himself into a fightâeventually leading to him never getting into a situation where heâd have to defend himself.Â
But you did it so naturally with not a single hint of him witnessing the scene. It was heartwarming to say the least, the way you defended him so casually but your tone clearly portraying the care you harboured for him, even if it was little (as per Heeseung and his never ending self doubt).Â
Before Jay could wave a hand in front of his face, Jake came barreling around the corner like he was late for everything in life, backpack slipping off one shoulder. Without missing a beat he lunged forward, locking an arm around Heeseungâs neck and yanking him down into a tight headlock.Â
âSpill it right nowâthe hell did you do with Y/N last night, huh? Iâm not letting go till you talk, dude, I swear to godââ
Much to his dismay, Heeseung pushed him off with ease, âthe fuck? Get off,â he said, staring at Jake who looked like he hadnât slept at all.Â
Jay was completely lost, headphones now resting on his neck, âwhat am I missing here exactly? What even happened?â
Heeseung groaned, ânothing happenedââÂ
âNah, he took Y/N to his room and then I heard moans. Moansâdo you fucking get it? Heâs actually fucking her.â Jake ranted, eyes blown wide.Â
Jayâs eyebrows shot up, âwait, what? For real?â
Heeseung shoved Jake off properly this time, cheeks burning as he fixed his hoodie, âItâs notâfuck, can you not yell that in the middle of the hallway?â
Jake threw his hands up, looking genuinely offended, âIâm sorry, I was trying to eat pizza and process the fact that my dream girl was getting railed by my roommate. You couldâve at least given me a heads-up, man.â
Jay let out a low whistle, finally catching on. He crossed his arms, which had gotten muscular somehow, âso, you and Y/N? Like, actually?â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, ears still red, âwe have an arrangement of sorts. No strings attached, thatâs it.â
Jake stared at him like heâd been shot in the chest, âno strings? She deserves love, she deserves aftercare and pampering andââ
Jay was never good at hiding his amusement, especially if it consisted of embarrassing one of his friends, âyou sure you can actually do the no-strings thing? Youâre the guy who gets attached after one good conversation. Remember that girl from school who just smiled at you in the library and you were googling how to ask someone on a date at two a.m.?â
âShut the fuck up,â Heeseung muttered, but the corner of his mouth twitched with his mind drifting back to you.Â
Jake however, wasnât done. He threw his hands up again, âIâm serious, I even fucking dropped the pizza slice she ate from.â
Jay snorted, âyouâre never gonna let that go noq, are you?â
âNever,â Jake said, dead serious, âthat couldâve been our indirect kiss.â
Heeseung shook his head, finally starting to walk again so they wouldnât be late for class, âItâs fine. Weâre both adults, itâll be okay.â
Jay fell into step beside him, clapping him on the back a little too hard, âyeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that, I give it ten days before youâre buying her flowers and writing her name in your notes with hearts around it.â
âTwo weeks,â Jake corrected, still sulking, âmax.â
Heeseung didnât bother arguing. He just shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and kept walking, the stupid little smile refusing to leave his face completely.
You, meanwhile, had no idea any of that chaos had just exploded behind you. You groaned, sitting down on the couch, despising the silence that greeted you. Winter had gone to her family home for her cousinâs wedding, and Sunoo had conveniently decided to spend the night over at Hoonâs to torture him with some horror movie.Â
And you were here, unsure of what to do tonight, and the newfound interest youâd found within your exâs best friend.Â
Whatever this was, it was definitely going to be interesting.
Turns out, the night wasnât about to be boring at all. You had just gotten under the warmth of your duvet as your phone lit up, a text brightening your lock screen. Evidently, you seemed to be lurking in Heeseungâs mind as much as he had started persisting in yours.Â
Heeseung: you up?Â
You: thatâs such a fuckboy questionÂ
Heeseung: oh shit i didnt mean it that way
You: hm? whatâs it thenÂ
Heeseung: js felt like textingÂ
You clicked your tongue, rolling to your side, phone propped up against your fluffy pink pillow.Â
You: mhm sure
You: what are you doing rn then
The typing bubble popped up, disappeared, then popped up againâa proper reminder of how Heeseungâs personality shone through even through his texting patterns.Â
Heeseung: just lying in bed
Heeseung: canât sleep for some reason
A second later your phone vibrated with a picture, a selfie to be precise. It was rather cinematic how Heeseung appeared to look even prettier with dim lights, messy dark hair falling into his eyes, no shirt, just the chain he always wore catching the light. He looked way too good for someone who was just lying in bed, lips slightly parted and swollen like heâd been biting them. The angle showed the sharp line of his collarbone and that adamâs apple, a few marks evident on his skin, courtesy of you.Â
You stared for a second longer than you meant to, completely zoned in how beautiful a few marks made him look.Â
You: oh wowÂ
You: donât you look dashing at one in the morningÂ
Heeseung only let out a breathy laugh, clearly preening under your praise, as if he hadnât clicked eight pictures just so he could send you the most perfect one, in his standards at least.Â
Heeseung: your turnÂ
The corner of your lip twitched up as you sat a little, tugged the neckline of your oversized tee down just enough so the soft swell of your tits spilled over the fabric, nipples barely hidden. You angled the camera, snapped it, and hit send without overthinking, knowing that the reply would come within seconds, and so it did.Â
Heeseung: fuck
Heeseung: youâre actually evil
You laughed under your breath and sent another one right after, taking off your tee fully, letting him know how hard your nipples had gotten already.Â
You: now you. donât be shy baby
Heeseung sent back a shot of his hand shoved down his sweats, gripping himself. The outline was obvious, the tip of his cock peeking out above the waistband, flushed and already leaking. Then another oneâhis hand mid-stroke, thumb smearing the precum over the head. A low, rather shaky breath left his lips in the process, and he swore he hadnât ever been the type to be soâso evidently horny before.Â
Youâd say you bring out the worst in people, but Heeseung would contradict it with a goofy smile saying how itâs the absolute best. With that thought, he hit sent.Â
Heeseung: this is what you do to me
Your mouth went dry, the picture being enough for you to spread your legs under the duvet, only to push the duvet away entirely before angling your phone properly to ensure the slick on your cunt would be visible in the picture.Â
You: see what youâre missing?
Heeseung: jesus christ iâm actually throbbing
You bit down on your bottom lip, absolutely letting the pleasure of having Heeseung in control take over. So, instead of texting back, you tapped the voice message button and held it down.
Your voice came through low and teasing, a little breathy already.
âAw, poor baby, youâre throbbing just from a picture? Câmon, lemme hear how good it feels, hm?â
You sent it without thinking twice, and he was quick to listen, his dick twitching just as he heard your voice. A few seconds later his voice message came backâhusky, a little embarrassed, but clearly turned on.Â
âFuckâyouâre so mean,â he whispered, which almost came out as a whine, âIâm so hard it hurts. Iâm stroking it slow at first, like thisââ You could hear the faint, wet sound of his hand moving, âbut I keep thinking about how wet you looked in that last pic. Want my mouth on you so bad right now.â
You caressed your clit gently, letting your head fall back at his not so shy admissions. It was hot how he didnât shy away from speaking his mind.Â
âHmm, good boyâkeep stroking just like that. Faster now, I want to hear how desperate you sound for me. Tell me exactly what youâd do if you were here.â
His next voice message was even shakier, breathing heavier.
âIâd pull you on top of me, let you grind on my cock while you tell me how you want it. FuckâIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd suck on your tits while you ride me, make you moan my name louder, please take my name, please?â
You let out a soft, breathy moan right into your reply.
âYeah? You like when I boss you around, Heeseung? Touch yourself exactly how I would. Tighten your gripâI know youâre close already, arenât you?â
Heeseungâs voice cracked in the next voice note, barely above a whisper.
âShitâyeah, Iâm so close, your voice is driving me insane. Ah, fuck, wanna bury my face between your thighs right nowââ
You were breathing harder too, fingers moving faster. You sent one last voice message, letting your voice be sultry.Â
âThen cum for me, Hee. Let me hear it. I want you moaning my name when you do.â
That did it for him, he could barely even keep the phone in his hand, shivering at the hyper awareness of it all, of you.Â
Somehow, you knew exactly the predicament he was undergoing, and you decided to spare the poor man, hitting the call button to free his hands. He picked up after a single ring.Â
âFuckâyouâre actually perfect,â he panted, the wet sound of his hand still audible. âIâve never been this gone from just voice messages before.â
You laughed softly, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a quiet moan, âthen donât stop. Stroke it faster for me, yeah? Be good, I want to hear every sound you make while you think about fucking me.â
Heeseung groaned, clearly trying (and failing) to stay quiet because of his friends, who were in the living room. âFeels so good but itâs not enoughâI keep imagining you riding me, telling me to go harder, shit,ââ
âYouâre doing so well,â you praised, clenching around your fingers as he moans out your name, âimagine itâs my pussy instead of your hand. Iâm so fucking wet for you right now. Youâd slide in so easy, wouldnât you?â
âYeahâfuck, I would,â he whimpered, âIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd let you choke me while you ride me, I donât even care anymoreââ
You moaned louder, fingers curling just right, âyeah, yeah, just keep talking like that and Iâm gonna cum, be good câmon, youâll cum with me, yeah?â
Heeseungâs breathing turned ragged, desperate little sounds slipping out, âiâm so closeâgonnaâfuck, Y/Nââ
You came first, moaning his name all soft and filthy into the phone. He followed right after with a choked groan, trying to muffle it against his pillow but failing miserably, and god knows what would happen if Sunoo (who was there all thanks to Sunghoon) was to witness this.Â
For a long moment the only thing between you was heavy breathing.
Then Heeseung let out a soft, wrecked little laugh, making you grin lazily, âyou did so well, Hee.â
He didnât expect that, making him whine again, and you swore you could run to see him all flushed and blushing, âyouâre so perfect.â
Your breath hitched at his whispered words, gulping as you stayed silent, letting your breathing even out. He was quiet for a beat too, but his mind wasnât stopping at that.Â
âHey, uh I saw what you did earlier, in the hallway, with Mina.â
You blinked, surprised, âwait, you were there?â
âYeah. I was a little further back, but i heard everything.â His voice dropped, almost like he was in awe, âthe way you shut her down for meâdefended me like that without even thinking. It was really fucking hot. Couldnât stop thinking about it all night, thatâs why I texted you.â
You let out a low chuckle at how unpredictable he was, âso thatâs the real reason you were sending me nudes and moaning my name like a desperate little slut at one a.m., huh?â
If praises led Heeseung to moan, the degradation caused him to cryânot in a bad way of course. It was new for him too, as if he was learning about himself through you. And the voice you heard was beautiful, a broken cry of his desperation.Â
âI see youâre into degradation,â you pointed out.Â
âFucking hell, even I didnât know,â he breathed out, eyes closing.Â
You only smirked, getting closer to the phone now.
âWanna test how it plays out?â
âWhy the fuck did Hoon just tell me youâre fucking Heeseung?âÂ
It was rather hard to distinguish his tone when he sounded both impressed and mad. Turns out, he was mad since he didnât hear it from you first, then, he was impressed with how fast you moved on. Regardless, he didnât let you live that down, trying to force the group together, only to see Heeseung squirming and you being absolutely normal.Â
You were sitting cross-legged on your bed, still in the oversized hoodie youâd thrown on after your morning shower, when Sunoo burst through the door, Winter followed, sipping an iced latte and looking far too amused for someone who was supposed to be your emotional support. And so another interrogation session took place, which you survived (somehow).Â
Other than that, things had been normal. A few changes did occur such as you all having lunch together, even Winter invited her girlfriend, making the group seem livelier than ever. Jake made it his mission to sit next to you each time, and Heeseungâwell, he stared at you more than he ate.Â
That pattern followed you straight into your English lecture later that afternoon. You slipped into your usual seat in the middle row, barely five minutes late, when Riki dropped into the chair right beside you, and you looked up at him, surprised.Â
Heeseung walked in later, eyes on how you greeted the guy easily, and with that, he almost walked into someone. He could only manage to groan, because why wouldnât you talk to him? To be fair, you did talk to him, like a friend, but never more, no initiation of any sort. Heeseung was the one who texted first, and he didnât mind, but with how soft hearted he was, he probably wouldnât mind you texting first either.Â
That being said, Heeseung was basically sulk incarnate watching how you made plans to give Riki a coffee for some reasonâwas it a date? Why would you even like that tall kid? Heeseung knew you better despite the little time he spent with you. It was a given that you didnât offer much about yourself despite your outgoing personality, but he did know how you played with your nails, how your eyes go wide when you eat something good, and how fucking good you sound moaning his name.Â
âWeâre all going to the cafe,â Sunoo chirped the second you stepped outside after the class, Heeseung following behind to see all his friends standing there too.Â
You did find it odd how he was silent today, too silent, even worse when he didnât try to initiate any conversation with you, just falling into step with his friends instead. His hands were shoved deep in his hoodie pockets, shoulders a little hunched as the group started moving.
Halfway there he slowed down just enough to tug Jayâs sleeve, voice low and trying way too hard to sound casual, âHey, can you do me a favour?â
Jay only raised his brow, urging him to continue, âuh, so when we sit down, maybe ask Y/N something thatâll get her talking, like the stuff going on in her life, just anything.â
Jay stopped dead for half a second, then let out a loud, wheezing laugh that practically bounced off the buildings. The sound was so sudden and genuine that you actually turned around mid-conversation with Karina and Winter, eyebrows raised like you were trying to figure out what was so funny. Jay just waved you off, still cracking up as he clapped Heeseung on the back a little too hard.
âYouâre actually hopeless,â Jay wheezed, trying to keep his voice down but failing miserably, âjust talk to her yourself, what the fuck.â
Heeseung shoved him off, cheeks hot, âshut up, man. Justâjust do it, okay? Please.â
Jay sat there as a witness to Heeseungâs internal breakdown, and well, happiness caused by two seconds of your undivided attention. In the midst of it all, everyone gave their orders, famished beyond words for some reason. The table was lively still, Jake trying to initiate conversations with you, even though Heeseung had not so subtly kicked him under the table to shut him up.Â
Jay waited until there was a small lull, then leaned forward with that lazy grin of his.
âSo Y/N,â he said casually, like it was no big deal, âwhatâs the deal with you and Heeseung lately? You two been hanging out a lot or what? Heâs been weirdly smiley these days.â
Heeseungâs heart did a stupid little flip, face clearly trying to play it cool, but his eyes were glued to you, waiting.
You took a sip of your drink and shrugged, knowing that if you say anything remotely wrong, Sunoo and Winter would be on your ass about it, âitâs nice hanging out with him, heâs funny.â
Jay snorted at how Heeseungâs smile widened, âfunny, huh? Thatâs all youâre giving us?â
Before you could answer, Jake jumped in, mouth full of his cup ramen, which he somehow got into the cafe, âgod, I shouldnât have gotten Shin, Iâm telling you, nothing beats Buldak. You team Buldak too, Y/N?â
Jake immediately turned to you with those big puppy eyes, âcâmon, tell him heâs wrong. Buldak or nothing, right?â
Sunoo and Sunghoon couldnât even stand this, staring at Jake with the same expression of disgust, his fascination for you was genuinely funny.Â
You looked up at Hee, who waited for your answer with shiny eyes, then back at Jake again. Maybe teasing Heeseung wouldnât hurt, right? Especially when he looked so innocent and serious about your input as if it mattered.Â
âI mean, Buldak is definitely good,â you agreed with Jake, taking another sip of your mango matcha.Â
Jake beamed at the reply, bumping your shoulder. But Heeseungâs smile faltered for a second, and you almost frowned, not expecting him to surrender, âyeah, fair enough,â he muttered, staying silent the rest of the time, eyes flicking up to you every few seconds, while you observed him openly.
Jay only sighed, and somehow Winter was just as exhausted at the exchange, because Heeseung couldnât hide his feelings to save his life, and you?
You were missing the point of this little conversation entirely.Â
When everyone finally started packing up for their next lectures, the group split off in different directions. You noticed Heeseung hanging back a little, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders still hunched as he walked alone. With a chuckle, you jogged a couple steps, and grabbed his hand.
Heeseung startled hard, eyes going wide as he looked down at your fingers laced with his, and how perfect your new acrylics looked, the touch being enough to make a shiver go up his spine, âY/Nâ?â
You only walked further, swinging your joined hands, âwhy so silent today?â You asked, looking up at him with a brow raised.Â
He let out a small breath, eyes flickering back to where your thumb brushed his knuckles, âitâs nothing, just thinking I guess.â
âHm, about how I picked Buldak over Shin?â You tilted your head, âyou got all quiet after that. Kinda cute, actually.â
Heeseung glanced away, the corner of his mouth twitching despite himself, âItâs not that, but Jake looked happy, soâyeah.â
âShinâs my favourite actually, I only said Buldak to see you fight back, but yeah,â you shrugged with a smile.Â
Heeseungâs head snapped back toward you, surprised, âwait, really?â
Heeseungâs steps slowed at the implication, and it showed on his face, mixed with the fondness of the simple fact that you noticed such little things. He wasnât the kind of guy who needed grand gestures, yes heâd appreciate it, but the little things mattered more.Â
âYouânoticed that?â He asked quietly, almost shy.
You hummed, then leaned up on your toes, lips brushing the shell of his ear, âyou can eat something else too if you want.â
That sent him into this mode of short circuiting, and before he could even form a reply, you let go of his hand with a bright, mischievous laugh and took off running ahead across the path, glancing back at him over your shoulder with that same playful grin.
Heeseung stood there for half a second, face burning, your words looping in his head like a damn song on repeat. Then a big, flustered smile broke across his face and he took off after you, knowing heâd catch up to you in no time.Â
âFuck,â he yelled, half-laughing as he chased you down the walkway, âyou canât just say that and runâget back here!â
He really hoped it could always stay this easy with you.
You fell on your mattress with a thud, the springs creaking under the sudden weight of both of you. Heeseung landed right on top, chest pressed to yours, mouth already chasing yours in a hungry, desperate kiss that tasted like the faint strawberry from his drink earlier.Â
His lips were hot and insistent, tongue sliding against yours like he couldnât get close enough, letting out every bit of his frustration into this kiss. One of his hands shoved under your hoodie and straight into your shorts, two fingers gliding through your slick folds before pushing inside you without hesitation. You gasped into his mouth, thighs falling open wider as he curled them deep, stroking that spot that made your back arch clean off the bed.
âFuck, youâre soaked,â he breathed against your lips, and you only sank in further, kissing all the way down to his neck, letting an open mouthed kiss linger on his adamâs apple, feeling it blobbing under you as he gulped in need, as if parched.Â
Heeseung let out a shaky groan, fingers stuttering inside you for a second before he doubled down, thrusting them deeper, curling harder, âshitâyouâre gonna make me lose it just from that.â
You smiled against his throat, sucking lightly, then dragged your teeth over the same spot while your hand kept working his cock in slow, tight strokes. He was throbbing in your palm, hot and slick with precum, hips twitching every time your thumb swept over the head, and you almost moaned cause he was big.Â
But it wasnât enough, you wanted him under you, wanted to watch him fall apart.
You pushed at his chest, flipping him onto his back in one smooth motion. Heeseung let out a surprised grunt as you straddled his thighs, yanking his pants and boxers down just far enough. His cock sprang free, flushed dark and glistening, curving up against his stomach.
Wrapping your fingers around his base as you leaned in to give his tip a slow kiss, making him moan shamelessly, âwaitâyou donât have to,â he managed to let out.Â
You looked up at him, lips brushing the wet slit as you spoke, âI know, I want to,â you whispered, âbeen thinking about having you in my mouth since you were sulking on the way here, just to apologize, yâknow?â
Instead of answering, you took him in, lips stretching around the thick head, tongue pressing flat against the underside as you sank down. The taste of him filled your mouth, salty and warm, and you moaned softly around his length.
âShitâbaby,â Heeseungâs hand flew to your hair, holding on like he needed something to ground him, his thighs tensing under you, âyour mouth feelsâso fucking good.â
You hummed in response, taking him deeper until he bumped the back of your throat. You relaxed around him, swallowing, and he let out a broken groan, hips twitching up before he caught himself.
âSorryâgosh I didnât mean to,â he whispered.Â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips shiny, a thin string of spit still connecting you to him, âdonât apologize. Fuck my throat if you want to.â You stroked him slow and firm, eyes locked on his, âI can take it, I want you to use me.â
Heeseungâs eyes darkened. Heâd never done this before, sure heâd gotten blowjobs, but the permission to take in full control of it? Oh, he swore he was gonna die, âyouâre gonna kill me saying shit like that.â
You chuckled and sank back down, taking him all the way until your nose brushed his stomach. You held there for a second, throat fluttering around him, before you started moving, wet bobs of your head, hand twisting around the base.
Heeseungâs head fell back against the pillow, a wrecked moan spilling out, âfuck, fuckâoh my god.â His fingers tightened in your hair, not forcing, but guiding you a little now, testing the waters, âyou like this? Being on your knees for me?â
You moaned around him in answer, the vibration making his hips jerk. You pulled off with a gasp, spit dripping down your chin, âI like when you stop being so polite and just take what you want.â You licked a slow stripe up the underside, eyes never leaving his, âyouâre always so sweet, Hee, but i also know how desperate you are, wonât you show it to me like a good fucking boy?â
Heeseungâs breath stuttered, it was almost like a switch flipping. His grip in your hair tightened just a fraction more, and when you took him back in, he let himself thrust up a little, shallow and careful at first.
âLike this?â He asked, voice strained, âtell me if itâs too much.â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips brushing the head, âHarder, I can take it. Use my throat, baby.â
The words seemed to break something in him. He groaned deep in his chest and started moving his hips with more purpose, fucking into your mouth in short, needy thrusts. You relaxed your throat and let him, moaning encouragement around his cock every time he pushed deeper.
âFuck, fuckâyouâre so good,â he panted, voice cracking, âso fucking good at this. Look at youâtaking me so deep.â His free hand came down to cup your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek while he watched himself disappear between your lips, âI didnât know I liked this so much, watching you choke on me.â
You moaned louder, the praise and the way he was starting to lose control making heat flood between your legs. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking harder, and Heeseungâs head tipped back again, a string of curses falling from his lips.
âBabyâslow down or Iâm gonna cum,â he warned, but his hips kept moving, like he couldnât stop himself, âyouâre really gonna let me cum down your throat?â
You pulled off with a wet pop, stroking him fast and tight, lips hovering just over the tip, âlet me taste you.â
Heeseungâs eyes rolled back as he came with a broken moan of your name, hips jerking as he spilled down your throat in hot pulses. You swallowed every drop, working him through it until he was trembling and oversensitive, little whimpers slipping out every time your tongue moved.
When you finally pulled off, lips swollen and shiny, Heeseung was staring at you like youâd rewired his brain. His chest was heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes dark and hazy.
âJesus Christ,â he whispered, voice shot, âI didnât know I could like something that much.â
You wiped the corner of your mouth with your thumb, smirking as you crawled up his body and kissed him slowly, letting him taste himself on your tongue.
âYouâre learning fast,â you murmured against his lips. âand weâre just getting started.â
So, you were true to your word, because by the time you both stopped, all breathless and spent, it was nighttime. In the midst of everything, you both had managed to fall asleep tangled with each other. Heeseung was the one to wake up first, caressing your cheek as he stared at how peacefully you slept in his arms.Â
He stayed like that for a long minute, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek, watching the way your lashes rested against your skin. Something heavy settled in his chestânot regret exactly, but a quiet, gnawing guilt that refused to leave him alone.
Carefully, he slipped out from under you, tucking the blanket around your bare shoulders so you wouldnât get cold. He padded over to the window on quiet feet, pushing the curtain aside just enough to look out at the dark sky. The campus lights glowed faintly in the distance, stars barely visible through the city haze.
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the cool glass, exhaling slowly. What the fuck am I doing? The thought looped in his head. Heâd loved Minaâor at least heâd told himself he did. Theyâd been together for over a year. But even on the best nights with her, heâd never felt thisâfree, this wanted. With you, you didnât ask him to be anything other than exactly who he was in the moment, needy, desperate, a little mean when you pushed him, soft when you let him hold you after. Just a hint of your attention made his chest feel too full and that scared the shit out of him.
Because heâd sworn he loved Mina. But this? He wasnât even sure what to name this feeling anymore, and it felt dramatic when nothing had even happened, just freedom and the best pleasure heâd ever experienced.Â
The floor creaked softly behind him, making him turn his head to find you sitting up in bed now, hair messy, eyes still heavy with sleep. Without saying anything, you reached for his hoodie that had been tossed on the floor earlier and pulled it over your head. It swallowed you, the hem brushing your thighs as you padded over barefoot to stand beside him.
You leaned your shoulder against the window frame, looking out at the same dark sky. For a moment neither of you spoke.
âYou okay?â You asked eventually, voice soft.
Heeseung, however, was in deep thoughts of silent appreciation, because you looked beautiful, you always did, âyeah,â he let out a quiet breath, âI feel like an asshole for even saying this out loud, butâI donât remember it ever feeling this easy with Mina, even when things were good. With you itâs just different. Like I donât have to pretend or hold back or be anyone else. I donât know. That probably sounds stupid.â
You stayed quiet for a second, then bumped your shoulder gently against his, âit doesnât sound stupid. Youâre allowed to feel whatever you feel, Hee, itâs valid. You donât owe her anything anymore, and you donât owe me some perfect version of yourself either, okay?â
âYouâre too nice to me,â he mumbled.Â
You smiled, looking elsewhere for a moment as you gulped, âthatâs what friends are for,â you let out.Â
Heeseung turned to look at you fully, friends, is that what you were? Because friends donât do all this. So, Heeseung only managed to muster one question, hoping the reply would be enough of an action to understand if he was truly alone in this or not.
âCan I kiss you?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper with the hope to earn even something as little as a nod.Â
This means something more, you thought. This isnât just sex anymore, not for him. Truly, Heeseung wasnât even the kind to do this, so why did he agree to this? You wouldnât mind being a rebound for him but him getting attached would be a problem. Would it really, though? You shouldâve said no, but you found yourself being entranced by the beauty in his eyes.Â
So, instead you stepped closer, sliding your hands up his bare chest, and tilted your face up to his, âyeah,â you whispered, âyou can.â
Heeseungâs breath caught as he cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks like you were something fragile, slotting his lips onto yours almost achingly gentle, this almost felt like a question and an answer all at once to him.Â
When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he let out a shaky little laugh, pecking the corner of your mouth once.Â
The reflection on the window catching on everything you both were too afraid to admit.Â
Honestly, the fault was yours for not discussing the boundaries or making one of those contracts like they do in the movies or books (though they never work), cause now, you and Heeseung had been hanging around way more often, some witnesses might even confuse this intimacy for dating.Â
Maybe Heeseung was one of them, because when he texted you to come over, you half expected sex, not sitting alongside him learning League of legends at two in the morning. He was unpredictable to say the least, but he did wear his heart on his sleeve, so you could see the bits and pieces of the things he craved, and right now, he craved your time.Â
You didnât mind giving it to him, but it did come with a cost. The second you walked into the room, eyes widening at this small corner of the desk where a mango matcha, a few blue walkers, and a pack of Ferrero Rocher was placed neatly, alongside two packets of cup noodles (just in case).Â
To Heeseung, it was normal, and you would have agreed had it been some synonym of aftercare, but no. It was just Heeseung being absolutely willing (and needing) to spend more time with you outside of your fancy little arrangement.Â
He had opened the door with a smile so contagious, you mirrored it as he led you inside. A small corner of his desk was full of snacks, a cup of matcha which he knew was your favourite, a couple of Ferrero Rochers because he saw you eating those during the English lecture. You stood there for a second longer than intended, staring at it all, then at the man who had already made himself comfortable on the spare chair, waiting for you with the same gentle smile he always carried around you, making you gulp for a second before you returned it.Â
âCâmere? Sit with me,â he said, patting his main gaming chair right next to him, and he half expected you to tease him for doing this, âI swear Iâm not trying to be weird, and if you donât wanna do this we can stop, or you can make fun of me.â
You let out a quiet huff of a laugh and kicked your shoes off before sliding into the chair beside him. Your knee bumped his under the desk and you left it there, the contact warm even through your clothes. Heeseung rolled his own chair closer right away, leaning in from behind you so his chest brushed lightly against your back, one arm resting along the back of your seat while the other reached around to the mouse, and you didnât notice how he took in your scent with a dreamy sigh.Â
âWeâre playing League of Legends?â You asked, and he nodded.Â
âHave you played it before?â He asked a little hesitant that youâd say you donât wish to play or indulge in this.Â
âNope,â you said, reaching for the matcha because your mouth suddenly felt dry. The cup was ice-cold, condensation dripping down your fingers as you took a sip, âIâm probably gonna suck at this, just so you know.â
Heeseung let out a small laugh, relieved that you arenât opposed to this, âthatâs fine, we can start from the basics,â he covered your hand with his on the mouse, guiding you through the first clicks. âYou just run at people and spin when they get close. Super easy, I promise.â
His fingers were warm over yours, almost careful like he was scared youâd pull away. You felt the way his chest moved against your back when he breathed, the faint brush of his hair against your neck every time he leaned in a little closer to see the screen better.
You clicked around awkwardly and Garen just kind ofâstood there swinging his sword at nothing, âthis feels dumb,â you muttered, but you were smiling a little, âI look like a robot trying to dance.â
Heeseung bit his bottom lip at the sheer joy of having you play his favourite game, even though you looked lost, confused, and too adorable, âyou donât look dumb. You look cute as hell trying to figure it out.â He squeezed your hand gently and moved the mouse for you, making Garen run forward. âSee? Just click on this, okay?â
You tried it and Garen spun like a big metal tornado, actually hitting a couple of the little enemy guys, âoh okay, that was kinda fun,â you admitted, biting your lip to hide the grin. You reached for one of the Ferrero Rochers with your free hand, unwrapped it, and popped it in your mouth. The chocolate melted sweet and crunchy on your tongue, âhowâd you know I like this.â
Heeseung shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against yours, âI pay attention to you, sue me.â He took the half you offered him without hesitation, biting it right from your fingers, his lips brushing your skin for a second too long.
You rolled your eyes but couldnât stop the little flutter in your stomach at how brutally honest he was. He pays attention, he set all this up just so youâd feel comfortable doing something he likes. This isnât what you signed up for, this is him wanting you around, not just in his bed. Stop feeling it. Stop.
The game kept going, as you died a bunchârunning straight into the big tower like an idiot, getting smacked by random enemiesâbut Heeseung never made you feel stupid about it. Heâd just lean in closer, chin resting on your shoulder now, arm wrapped a little tighter around the back of your chair, and murmur stuff like, âtry backing up a tiny bit next time, yeah?â Or, âyouâre getting the spin down though, that last one actually hit three of them, nice.â
You passed him chips from the blue walkers packet, your fingers brushing his every time. He took them without pulling away, crunching quietly while his other hand stayed on the mouse with yours, guiding you through another wave.
Heeseung couldnât say this out loud but boy was he thrilled. It felt so nice, so domestic to do something so simple with someone (you). He couldnât help but compare, simply because he didnât know the basic possibilities of the relationship universe, though you werenât in one. His ex never spared time for such things, indifferent about his interests, while you were soâsweet.Â
âYouâve done this before? Teaching someone like this, I mean?â You asked after a while, âor am I getting special treatment?â
Heeseung went quiet for a second, then let out a breathy little laugh against your neck, âspecial treatment,â he admitted, no hesitation, âand no, itâs my first time teaching anyone.â
You leaned back into him a little more without thinking, the warmth of his chest solid and comforting against your back, the kind of solace that you had never had the pleasure of experiencing before. Was it supposed to be this easy?Â
The snacks slowly disappeared between youâanother Ferrero passed back and forth, the mango matcha cup getting lighter with every sip you took. Heeseung kept talking about random shit that had nothing to do with the game. How Jake had stolen his last ramen again, how he stayed up last night thinking about if aliens eat solid food, or if the Thestrals from Harry Potter can see each other or not.Â
You told him about the fanpage you had at fifteen, he listened like it was the most interesting thing ever, thumb stroking slow circles on the back of your hand the whole time.
At some point the first game ended. You were still pretty bad, but you werenât frustrated anymore. Heeseungâs arm had stayed around you the whole time, his chin heavy on your shoulder, breathing warm against your skin.
He didnât queue another match right away, instead he just sat there for a second, arms loose around your waist, like he was thinking.
âCâmere,â he murmured, voice a little rough as his hands slid to your hips and he tugged you gently, pulling you straight off the spare chair and into his lap like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your back settled fully against his chest, thighs bracketing his, his arms wrapping around you properly so he could still reach everything if he wanted. The chair creaked once under both of you. You fit too well, way too well.
He rested his chin back on your shoulder and clicked into another custom game like nothing had changed, but his arms stayed tight around your waist, like he didnât want to let go.
âWhat are we doing, Hee?â You asked in a low mumble.Â
Heeseung went still, arms locking tighter around your waist like the question had burned him, he was afraid youâd bring it up and thatâs exactly what you did. You felt him swallow hard, breath shaky against your neck.
He opted to answer with his actions instead, turning your face toward him with one hand and kissing you, lips pressing firm like heâd been dying to do it. His tongue slid in right away, tasting like chocolate and the mango youâd been sharing all night. He made this quiet, embarrassed little sound in his throat and kissed you harder, fingers sliding into your hair to hold you there.
You tried to pull back half an inch, though absolutely feeling your heartbeat fastening at how good the kiss, the warmth felt, âHee, waitââ
He chased your mouth instantly, cutting you off with another kiss, deeper this time, tongue lazy and filthy against yours. His hand slipped under your top, palm hot and a little unsteady on your bare waist, thumb stroking slow circles like he needed to feel your skin to stay sane. He was breathing hard through his nose, cheeks burning against yours, but he wouldnât let you speak. Every single time your lips parted he was right there again, kissing you quiet, desperate and messy like talking would ruin whatever this was.
âBed,â he mumbled against your mouth. He stood up with you still in his lap, hands under your thighs, and carried you the few steps across the room. The second your back hit the mattress he was on top of you, settling between your legs and kissing you again before you could even breathe.
This time it was slower but no less intense. His tongue moved against yours in these long, deep strokes while one hand pushed further under your top, palm flat on your stomach, sliding up until his fingers brushed the edge of your bra. His other hand stayed tangled in your hair, tugging gently every time you tried to talk. He was so fucking flusteredâears red, breath shaky, little embarrassed groans slipping out whenever you rolled your hips up into himâbut he still wouldnât let you ask.
Every time you opened your mouth he swallowed it with another kiss, and you groaned, pulling him into you deeper, letting him showcase his feelings through whatever this was, and you understood it, but couldnât stop it or ask any further, because you knew heâd deflect as if it scared him.Â
As if the only answer he could give was this.
You were decent at saying no, in fact, some might even admit how good you were at it, blunt as fuck. But that ability was limited to the world and it most certainly didnât apply to this glorious six foot tall man who wished for you to join him at the basketball court. You could have made up some excuse, maybe tell him you have a lab report due, but you didnât do thatâbecause you wanted to go.Â
âThis is getting ridiculous,â said Winter, watching you change into a loose t-shirt and old shorts, âyou hate sports. You once told me basketball was just a bunch of giants running in circles. Now youâre rushing out at night because Heeseung said come watch me play? And youâre dressing up the part too?â
You shrugged, tying your hair up, âItâs not that deep. Iâm bored.â
âSure, tell yourself that,â she mumbled with her brow raised.Â
Well, she wasnât exactly wrong, but you didnât care much as you made your way out towards the court which was lit up by some harsh floodlights, looking over to find some guys already deep in the game. You could spot Heeseung, Chenle, Beomgyu, and Sunghoonât-shirts sticking to their backs.Â
Nics (Chenleâs girlfriend) and Moon (Sunghoonâs girlfriend) were already on the bleachers with their chaotic friend, Ricey, who always carried snacks in her bag. The second they spotted you, Nics waved you over with a grin, patting the spot next to her.Â
Heeseung was mid-dribble when his head snapped in your direction, the ball bouncing once before he caught it against his hip. Even from across the court you could see the way his face softened, that small, stupidly genuine smile breaking through like usual. He lifted his free hand in a quick wave.Â
âYo, Y/Nâs here!â Chenle shouted, grinning like an idiot as he wiped sweat off his forehead with the hem of his shirt, âperfect timing, letâs do girls versus boys now.â
Nics hopped off the bleachers first, already pulling her hair up, âfinal-fucking-ly. Come on, weâre making this four on four.â
Moon laughed and stood up too, nudging Ricey, âyou in or are you just gonna sit there eating chips the whole time?â
Ricey popped another chip in her mouth before standing, âIâm in, but if I break a nail Iâm blaming all of you.â
You didnât get a chance to sit as you got dragged into the court. Heeseung jogged over to you, still breathing a little hard, hair messy and damp. Up close he smelled like sweat and that familiar woody cologne, and the way he looked at you made you shiver.Â
âYou actually came,â he breathed, grabbing your arm without thinking much at all.Â
âCouldnât let you embarrass yourself alone,â you replied, stealing the ball from his hands just to mess with him. He laughed, eyes crinkling, and for a second it felt like the rest of the court disappeared.
But boy was it chaotic with Moon just distracting Hoon half the time, Nics and Chenle spent the time arguingâwhich was clearly their way of flirting, meanwhile Ricey was enjoying the drama in the middle of this all. The game was messy, and oh so loud.
You mostly ended up guarding Heeseung, and he was clearly not focused on winning anymore.
The first time you drove past him, he barely tried to block you, just let you slip by with this stupid little smile on his face. When you scored, he was the first one clapping, muttering under his breath, âfuck, that was hot,â loud enough for Beomgyu to hear and immediately start laughing.
âYouâre not even guarding her properly!â Sunghoon yelled, hands on his knees, âyou just watched her score and looked proud as hell!â
Heeseung didnât even deny it, just shrugged, eyes still locked on you as you dribbled back.Â
âSheâs fast,â he said, but the way he said it was way too soft, and he wondered why he called you with others around when he shouldâve done this one on one, but even then, he was thrilled to see you fit in so well with everyone.Â
The court lights hummed overhead, casting long shadows across the cracked asphalt, your oversized t-shirt clung to your skin in damp patches, the thin cotton sticking to the curve of your waist and the small of your back every time you moved. Heeseungâs eyes kept dropping to where the hem rode up every time you moved, and honestly? You liked it.
You caught the ball again and drove straight at him. This time his hand found your waist right away, palm warm through the damp fabric, thumb brushing under the hem like he couldnât help himself. You spun past anyway, shoulder bumping his chest, and laid it up clean. When you landed he was still there, fingers lingering on your hip for a second longer than necessary.
âShit, youâre good,â he muttered by your ear.
Beomgyu groaned loud enough for everyone to hear, âHeeseung, your hand was literally on her the whole time!â
Sunghoon just shook his head, âI canât watch this anymore.â
A few plays later you slowed right in front of him, dribbling lazy, then hit him with the poutâbottom lip out, eyes big. Heeseungâs shoulders dropped instantly, âcome on, thatâs cheating,â he whined, but he was already stepping aside, hand sliding to your hip again as you blew past and scored.
Ricey started cracking up from the fence. âHe folded. Letâs fucking go!â
Nics and Moon were dying, âY/N, youâre actually evil,â Moon yelled, âlikeâlook at him.â
The game kept going like that, every time you got near him his hands were on your waist or lower back, like he needed the excuse to touch you. After one layup he caught you around the middle when you landed, pulling you back against his chest for a second, chin brushing your shoulder.
âYouâre killing me out here,â he said quietly, thumb rubbing slow against your side.
You turned your head, âstop letting me win so obviously.â
âCanât,â he admitted, fingers flexing on your hip, âcanât stop you.â
Final possession got you dribbling right up to him. He stepped up, but the second you gave him the pout he let out a soft laugh and just gave up, both hands settling on your waist.
âGo win, baby,â he whispered, not even trying to hide it anymore as you drove and laid it in clean.
Game over.
Nics scooped you up spinning you once while Moon and Ricey cheered like idiots. The second your feet hit the ground Heeseung was there, arm sliding around your waist and pulling you back against him. His t-shirt was damp against yours, heartbeat steady on your back.
âYouâre impossible,â he murmured into your hair, thumb still tracing slow circles on your hip under the hem, âdidnât even wanna stop you.â
You leaned into him, grinning, âyou had your hands on me the whole second half.â
âYeah,â he said, no shame at all, âfelt too good.â
Heeseung didnât get to talk more as a fuming Chenle grabbed his collar and dragged him away for what seemed to be some good beating.Â
Moon and Nics immediately grabbed your arms at the opportunity and pulled you a few steps away, cornering you near the fence while Heeseung was distracted talking (arguing) to Chenle.
âOkay, spill,â Moon said, âwhat the hell is going on with you two? Because that was not subtle.â
Nics nodded, still half-laughing, âgirl, he had his hands on your waist like every single play. Heâs so into you itâs actually funny.â
You tried to play it cool, wiping sweat off your neck with the bottom of your shirt, âItâs not like that. Weâre justâhanging out? No strings, yâknow?â
They waited for you to say youâre joking, or just laugh, but then none of it came and they gasped, collectively.Â
âYouâre not serious,â Moon deadpanned.Â
Nicsâ eyes went huge, âwait. Youâre actually serious.â
Ricey let out a low whistle, leaning against the fence, âdamn, Y/N. I thought you were messing with us.â
You shrugged, trying to laugh it off, but the sound came out rather shaky. Your stomach did that stupid little flip again, like your body was calling you a liar before your mouth could. The cool night air on your damp neck suddenly felt too cold, and your t-shirt clung uncomfortably to your skin, âI mean, yeah, thatâs the deal. We both said it from the start.â
The words felt flat even as you said them. Your eyes drifted across the court before you could stop yourself. Chenle still had Heeseung in that dramatic headlock, ranting about how embarrassing he was, but Heeseung wasnât even pretending to fight back. His head turned and his gaze found yours instantly through the mess of hair falling in his face. That soft, stupid little smile tugged at his lips like getting chewed out didnât matter at all. Just you did.
Your chest squeezed as you looked away, but Moon followed your stare and let out a quiet oh, âgirl, look at him right now. Heâs getting yelled at and heâs still staring at you like that? Come on.â
Nics nudged your side. âhe had his hands on your waist literally every single time you got near him. Called you baby in front of all of us. Folded like a lawn chair the second you pouted. Thatâs a man catching feelings and not even trying to hide it.â
Ricey nodded, arms crossed, âfor real. We were all watching, he was playing how many times can I touch my girl without getting called out.â
You swallowed, heat creeping up your neck that had nothing to do with the game anymore, âItâs not like that,â you mumbled but even you could hear how unsure you sounded. The way Heeseung was still looking at you made the label feel thinner than your sweaty t-shirt.
Before anyone could push harder, Chenle finally shoved Heeseung away with one last groan. Heeseung jogged back over, hair wrecked, cheeks flushed, but his eyes were already locked on you again. His arm slid around your waist without hesitation, palm warm and familiar against the damp fabric like it was the most natural thing in the world.
âYou guys done roasting her yet?â He asked, voice light and a little out of breath.Â
Ricey snorted, ânot even close.â
Heeseung just grinned and pulled you closer, chin brushing the top of your head. You leaned into him without thinking, the solid warmth of his side against yours making that chest-tight feeling even worse. Or better, you couldnât tell anymore.
Your newfound friends exchanged a look behind his back, but you caught it anyway.
Whatever this wasâit didnât feel like no strings anymore. Not even a little.
Heeseung always thought that his partner would an extension of his very soul, and he never achieved that. Maybe the saying can be moulded into perspectives of sort, perhaps connection wasnât about mirroring souls but about finding someone who made the fractures feel intentional, beautiful even.
He mindlessly knocked on the door, heart drumming an uneven rhythm against his ribs, not expecting the door to open so quickly, his breath hitching at the sight of you in front of him.Â
Maybe your partner isnât supposed to be an extension of you, but rather someone whoâd stand on the opposite side of the spectrum and still look like a perfect puzzle when fitted together.Â
You stood there like a living poem rendered in silkâclad in a breathtaking white gown that slipped over your skin with liquid grace, the delicate fabric catching the hallwayâs muted glow, the thin straps tracing the delicate architecture of your collarbones like a loverâs fingertip. It moved with you, shimmering faintly, alive with every subtle shift of your weight. Your hair styled perfectly, lips glossed to a tempting sheen, and the whole vision struck him so viscerally that the air in his lungs simply vanished.
You looked beautiful, like an angel in all white, while he stood in front of you in a black leather jacket, juxtaposing every bit of elegance you exuded.Â
Heeseung forgot how to breathe quite literally as time fractured around him. His gaze dragged over you in helpless reverence, while a razor-edged thought sliced through the haze. Are you going out? On a date? With someone else? The image of another manâs eyes tracing that same silk, another hand brushing the curve of your waist beneath it, coiled hot and ugly in his chest, stealing what little breath he had left.
âHee?â You asked with a smile, tilting your head with genuine surprise, âwhat are you doing here?â
He gulped, forcing his eyes back up and oxygen to cooperate within him, âyouâre breathtaking,â he managed, âI forgot what I came for.â
Warmth crept up your neck at the nervousness of the man in front of you, he was adorableâshifting from one leg to the other, playing with his fingers, as if the simple act of standing there might unravel him completely. His dark hair fell messily over his forehead, cheeks flushed a soft rose, and those wide, doe-like eyes kept flicking back to the silk clinging to your body. You could practically feel the rapid thud of his heartbeat from where you stood, the way his throat worked on another swallow, the subtle tremor in his shoulders as he tried (and failed) to play it cool.
âI, uhââ Heeseung rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a small, embarrassed laugh, âI wanted to show you something. Iâve been carrying it around all day like an idiot because I thought you might like it. Figured tonight could be, I donât know, nice? Just us.â
Your heart gave a small tug, the evening plans youâd been dreading now sitting like a weight in your chest, âgod, HeeâI wish I could,â you said softly, âmy parents are in town and we have this family dinner thing tonight. Itâs one of those non-negotiable things. I was literally about to walk out the door when you knocked.â
Heeseungâs shoulders dropped just a fraction, disappointment flickering across his face before he quickly tried to smooth it over. He nodded, offering you a small, understanding smile that didnât quite reach his eyes, though he was relieved it wasnât a boy youâd dressed up for, âno, gosh. Itâs okay, I hope you have fun.â
He paused, eyes still lingering on you like he couldnât help it, âbutâif youâre not too tired later, maybe we could still meet up? Even if itâs just for a little while. No pressure or anything, I justâI really like being around you.â
All you could manage was a nod, making him smile wider. It was always a surprise at how clearly Heeseung said whatever he meant, and it wasnât the best thing for your poor heart, which probably matched Heeseungâs pace now. Bidding goodbye was another problem especially when Heeseung stared till you got inside the cab. The dinner was a haze, your mom staring at your zoned out state with a knowing smile.Â
âWho is it?â She sighed finally, making you look up in horror.Â
âMomâno,â you warned, knowing just how interested your family was in gossiping, which didnât exclude gossip about you by any means.Â
âWhat? She laughed, feigning innocence while your dad hid his grin behind his water glass, âIâm just asking. Youâve been smiling at nothing and zoning out all night, now spill.â
Your cousin leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief, âyeah, girl. You look like youâre thinking about someone. Is he cute? Does he go to your uni?â
Heat flooded your cheeks, âthereâs no one,â you lied, though the words felt flimsy even to you, âIâm just tired.â
Your mom reached over and squeezed your wrist gently, âmhm, sure. Whoever he is, heâs lucky if heâs got you looking like this. Just donât forget to eat, okay? Youâre glowing, but youâre also not touching your food.â
You groaned, covering your face with both hands as the table erupted into light laughter. The teasing continued with your dad throwing in a dramatic âIf he hurts you, Iâll find himâ that made everyone chuckleâbut you managed to dodge the worst of it, cheeks burning the whole time. By the time dessert came, your family had mercifully moved on, though your momâs knowing glances never quite stopped.
Meanwhile, Heeseung stood alone on the rooftop of the main university building, the cool night breeze slipping beneath the collar of his leather jacket and ruffling his dark hair. Heâd quietly borrowed the keys from the maintenance office earlierâsomething he wasnât proud of, but tonight the small rebellion felt worth it. Up here, the view was stunning. City lights stretched out below like scattered diamonds across black velvet, the crescent moon hung low, casting a silvery glow over everything. He slipped an airpod in, letting his playlist fill the silence.Â
His hand drifted to the inner pocket of his jacket, fingers brushing the carefully wrapped item inside. Heâd wanted to show it to you tonight, watch your face light up, maybe steal a few more stolen moments of that easy warmth you gave him so effortlessly.
Heeseung leaned against the railing, staring out at the glittering skyline while the music in his earpods played on, and he wondered if you were thinking about him too, somewhere across town amid the family dinner. He didnât mind waiting, in fact, he was good at it when it meant so much to him. Regardless, every couple of minutes heâd glance at the door, half-convinced he was being ridiculous for waiting up here like some lovesick idiot.
As he turned back again, the faint creak of the door was heard, and he went still. You stepped onto the rooftop still wrapped in that white silk gown, the wind caught the hem immediately, making it swirl softly around your legs, and when you smiled at himâhe felt it right in the center of his chest.
âHi,â you said, voice quiet.Â
Heeseung pulled the airpods out slowly, letting them dangle from his fingers, âyouâyou actually came,â he breathed, the words slipping out before he could stop them, his eyes moved over you again, helpless, âin that dress, god, Y/N.â
You walked closer, heels soft against the concrete, âtold you I would. Couldnât stop thinking about whatever you wanted to show me,â a small laugh escaped you.Â
He took a half-step closer, âI wasnât sure,â he admitted, âbut Iâm really glad youâre here. You lookââ he trailed off, shaking his head with a soft, almost disbelieving smile, âI donât even have the words tonight, youâre beautiful.â
It was foreign, the way you felt all mushy inside with a compliment, granted you got those all the time, but this felt new. You stopped just inches from him, close enough to see the way the moonlight caught in his dark eyes, the faint flush still lingering on his cheeks, âshow me, then,â you whispered.Â
Heeseungâs breath caught for the briefest moment. Then he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and drew out a small box wrapped in simple paper, tied with a slender black ribbon. He placed it gently into your waiting hands, his fingers brushing yours with a lingering warmth that sent another quiet flutter through you.
You untied the ribbon, letting the paper fall away until the snow globe rested heavy in your palms. Inside the delicate glass sphere, a tiny couple danced beneath an invisible skyâher in a flowing white dress that mirrored the silk clinging to your body, him in a dark jacket that echoed the leather draped across Heeseungâs shoulders. Their hands were joined, bodies turned toward one another in quiet, perfect harmony. When you tilted the globe, soft white flakes swirled around them like the first gentle snowfall of winter, catching the moonlight in tiny, luminous sparks.
A rush of something overwhelming bloomed low in your stomach, as if butterflies unfurling their wings until your chest felt too full, too light. You looked up at him, eyes wide and shimmering. âHeeseung,â you breathed, âthis is us. The dress, the jacket, itâs exactly like us.â
He bit his bottom lip, smiling shyly as he nodded, eyes soft with affection that he never failed to display. âYeah,â he murmured, stepping closer until the globe rested safely between your bodies, pressed lightly against the silk over your heart, âI know itâs a little cheesy, but when I saw it, I couldnât stop thinking about you.â
It was yet again when he had rendered you speechless so beautifully, a small smile still graced your lips, and you couldnât hide it, you didnât wish to hide it, âitâs not cheesy, itâs beautiful, Hee. Thank you.âÂ
You held the globe for another heartbeat, letting the tiny flakes swirl and sparkle inside the glass, before you turned gently and set it on the wide concrete railing
Heeseung watched you, nervous as he reached into his pocket, pulling out one of the earpods and holding it out to you between two fingers, âdance with me?â He asked, voice hopeful, âIâve had this song on repeatâuh, I kept imagining what it would sound like with you here.â
It was as if you were facing the real tale of the entanglement after the initial surface level attraction had worn off, which shouldâve made it worse, right? But Heeseung, unlike any other potential love interest youâd met, shone brighter after revealing himself day by day.Â
You took the airpod from him without a secondâs hesitation and slid it in, that familiar, timeless melody of Everybody Loves Somebody filling your ear like an old friend crooning about love that finds you when you least expect it. Heeseungâs fingers brushed yours as he took your hand, threading them together with a quiet certainty that made your breath hitch. His other palm settled at your waist, warm through the silk, and he drew you in until your bodies met, like theyâd been waiting all along. You let your free hand rest against his chest, right over the steady thud of his heart beneath the leather.
Heeseung let out a soft, breathy laugh, âfuck, I actually feel stupid right now,â he muttered, âIâve never danced before.â
You laughed, leaning into his scent further, âyouâre doing great, Hee.â
âYeah?â Another dorky chuckle rumbled through his chest. He adjusted his hold on you, thumb moving in a slow, absent circle at your waist, âI donât know, lately I keep catching myself doing shit I never thought Iâd do. Like stealing keys to a rooftop, buying a snow globe because it reminded me of you. Itâs weird, I feel like Iâm figuring out all these parts of myself I didnât even know were there.â
He stole keys, the thought itself made you chuckle again. Youâd once read somewhere that the act of loving someone doesnât stop at accepting them but furthers by coaxing their selfhood out of themâit felt that way for you too because who would have thought youâd be dancing with someone at a rooftop wearing a gown?Â
You squeezed his hand gently, âI like that,â you said, âI like that youâre figuring it out with me.â
The proximity was perfect, yet your bodies kept on gravitating towards each other every few steps, and eventually the melody began to fade. You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, the position mirroring that of the snow globe miniatures. Taking another step, you leaned forward just enough to slot your lips against his, almost as if breathing each other in, lips parting at the same time before pressing into a gentle peck. Heeseung exhaled shakily against you, his hand tightening at your waist for a second like he was trying to remember how to breathe.
When you finally drew back, you gave him that smile you knew he couldnât resist. You slipped the airpod out of your ear and dropped it into his open palm, fingers brushing his one last time. At the same time you reached over, picked up the snow globe from the railing, and tucked it carefully against your chest.
âNight, baby,â you whispered as you turned toward the door.
Heeseung just stood there, completely still, breathing a little harder than before. His eyes were wide and utterly lovestruck as he watched you walk away. The rooftop door clicked shut behind you, but he didnât move for a long timeâjust stayed right where he was under the moonlight, that dazed, helpless smile slowly taking over his face.
You were panting as Heeseung pressed his lips on the base of your spine, sending a shiver up your back. He hadnât been patient pulling you in his bed, turning you over to unzip your dress. He groaned with each kiss as if he was pleasuring himself instead of you while savouring every inch of skin exposed.Â
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the middle of your back for a second, breathing hard, âyouâre trembling,â he whispered against you, âis my mouth really making you feel that good?â He kissed between your shoulder blades, then higher, until his lips brushed the nape of your neck, âtell me, baby. Tell me how wet you are right now just from this.â
âSo wet,â you gasped, pushing your hips back against him, âHeeâplease.â
He let out a broken groan and shoved your panties to the side with impatient fingers, not even bothering to pull them off. The thick head of his cock nudged against your slick entrance, hot and heavy, before he sank into you in one long, relentless thrust.
âFuck,â he groaned, the sound guttural as he bottomed out, stretching you wide, âyouâre soaking my cock, baby. So fucking tight and wet for me.â He pulled back slowly, then drove in again, harder, the wet slap of skin echoing in the room, âlisten to that. Hear how greedy your pussy is for me?â
You cried out, fingers clawing at the sheets as he set a deep, punishing rhythm, each stroke dragging perfectly against that sensitive spot inside you.
âHeeseungâoh god, yesââ your voice broke on a moan, tears of overwhelming pleasure already stinging your eyes, âharderâplease, I need it harder.â
Heeseung cursed under his breath and fucked you deeper, hips snapping forward with filthy precision, âlike this?â He panted, voice hoarse âyou want me to ruin this pretty little pussy? Tell me how good it feels, baby. I want to hear you fall apart.â
âIt feels so good,â you sobbed, pushing back to meet every thrust, âyouâre so deepâfuck, Hee, I canâtââ
The pleasure coiled tighter and tighter, white-hot and devastating, until it finally snapped.
âI love youââ the words tore out of you, raw and desperate, âHeeseung, I love youââ
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt inside you, body going completely rigid.
âWhat?â His voice was barely a whisper, shocked and trembling.
You whimpered, hips twitching helplessly around his cock, the confession spilling out again in a blurry, broken rush, âI love you, I love you so muchââ
Heeseung pulled out suddenly, making you whine at the loss. In one swift motion he flipped you onto your back, hovering over you with wide, dark eyes and a chest that heaved like heâd forgotten how to breathe.
âSay it again,â he demanded, voice hoarse and shaking as he stared down at you, one hand cupping your jaw, âlook at me and say it again, baby. Please.â
Your eyes were glassy, lips parted on a shaky breath, but the words seemed to have blurred, your face disappearing right in front of his eyes as you said, âI loveââÂ
He woke up with a sharp, ragged gasp, bolting upright in his own bed, heart slamming violently against his ribs. The room was dark and silent except for his own frantic breathing. Sweat slicked his skin, and when he looked down, the front of his sweatpants was soaked with a warm, sticky mess.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â he whispered hoarsely, dragging a trembling hand down his face, cheeks burning with heat.
It was hard for him to contain himself when this is all he could dream of the past six days, feeling it deep despite it being a dream. Wet dream was fine really, but the confession that echoed? Yeah, that definitely made Heeseung feel eccentric because he needed to hear that for real despite the terms of the relationship between you both. It was bound to bloom into something more.
You two had fallen into a rhythm that didnât need a label really. He showed up outside your lectures with your stupidly specific drink (matcha), the one with the exact ratio you liked, because heâd paid attention the one time you made a face at the wrong version. Youâd started leaving your oversized hoodie at his place just so you could steal his instead and he could wear yours, the sleeves swallowing your hands while you lounged on his bed scrolling through your phone. He noticed how you always tugged at your bottom lip when you were thinking too hard, how you stole the last sip of his drink without asking, how your shoulders relaxed the second you kicked your shoes off after a long day. You noticed the way he rubbed the bridge of his nose when he was tired but too stubborn to admit it, the soft little hum he made when something tasted exactly right, the way his eyes lingered on you a beat longer than necessary whenever you laughed at something dumb he said.
You werenât calling it dating, you werenât calling it anything. But you also werenât fighting it. Youâd never been the type to deny yourself something that made you feel good, and Heeseung made you feel good in a way that snuck up on you. So you let yourself have it without the complications of overthinking.Â
Later that morning, Heeseung walked across campus still half-dazed from the dream, that stupid, lingering smile refusing to leave his face. The memory of your voice saying those three words kept looping in his head, well, until a voice didnât wish to hear ruined his train of thoughts.Â
âWell, well. If it isnât the thief.â
Heeseung slowed to a stop and turned. Jaemin stood there with his arms crossed, wearing the same smug, pissed-off expression he used to think was charming.
Heeseung let out a dry, humorless scoff, âthief? Thatâs fucking hilarious coming from the guy who was literally balls-deep in my ex while we were still together.â
Jaemin stepped closer, eyes narrowing, âwhatever helps you sleep at night. You really think youâre gonna keep her interested?â His voice dripped with condescension, âY/N doesnât do soft boys. All that cute shit you do, yâknow? All that bringing her drinks, playing with her hair, looking at her like sheâs the only person in the room? Sheâll get bored so soon. She needs someone who can actually keep up with her, not some pathetic, whipped little romantic who gets all starry-eyed at the sight of her.â
Heeseung forced out a dry laugh, âyeah sure, keep telling yourself that.â
Jaemin stepped even closer, that ugly little smirk twisting his mouth, âyouâre playing house while sheâs used to getting fucked properly, Iâm sure youâre not offering much to at all, youâre nothing but a rebound to her,â he scoffed once, and walked away.Â
But the damage was done, because yes, Heeseung was soft, almost a whipped little romantic who let you take the lead when things got heated, how you pinned his wrists down or told him exactly how you wanted him, and how much he fucking loved giving in to you. The dream from this morning flashed behind his eyes again, your voice breaking on those three words while he was the one completely undone above you. Now it all felt suddenly pathetic, like something Jaemin could point at and laugh at.
Jealousy, envy, insecurity, these were the things he didnât wish to feel, and gladly so, he never felt that with you, so why was an outsider here to remind him of his so called weaknesses? It felt like a spiral how he skipped the next lecture and pondered on Jaeminâs words. Did you actually not enjoy your time with him? Was he enough? Did you want a more intense relationship? Was it just a rebound?
He couldnât find the answers to any of those questions, and managed to ignore every single text and call that came his way, letting himself cool down on the rooftop yet again.Â
What he essentially forgot was how communication wasnât a part of the relationship but the very pillar that ran practically any relationship on this earth, this being the very first instance of him not being able to express himselfâsomething he did so freely around you.Â
And so, the day passed without him replying to you.Â
You felt the absence like a missing pulse.Â
âYou look crazy checking your phone every two minutes,â Sunoo pointed out, and you huffed, grabbing your phone again to stare at the unread texts youâd sent him through the day.Â
The screen glowed mockingly in the low light of your dorm room, the blue bubble of your last message still floating unanswered beneath the others, heeseung? talk to me. you okay? iâm coming over if you donât answer. Just silence that didnât sit right with you.Â
Sunoo flopped dramatically across the foot of your bed, legs kicking up behind him, while Winter perched on the windowsill, she watched you with that knowing tilt of her head, the one that always preceded a lecture of affection.Â
âBabe,â she said, âheâs been ghosting the group chat too, somethingâs off. Like, capital-O off.â
You set the phone face-down on the blanket, but your fingers still twitched toward it. Sunoo nudged your ankle with his socked foot.Â
âGo, seriously, and if heâs being a dramatic little shit, tell him Sunoo said to grow a pair and answer his damn phone.â His grin was bright, âyouâre so in love itâs pathetic.â
Your lip only twitched, and you didnât admit nor deny it. It was too early to even overthink what happened, was he drowning himself in self destruction while embracing pain for absolutely no reason? Regardless you frowned with disdain, pushing yourself up to actually do something about the situation, choosing to wear his hoodie he gave you a few days earlier.Â
You didnât bother fixing your hair or changing out of the soft shorts youâd been rotting in all evening. This wasnât about looking put-together, it was about the fact that Heeseung had never once left a message on read without answering, in fact, he was the one who usually texted first, shared his problems, and discussed any and everything this world has to offer. Whatever had him locked down like this, it had teeth, and you were done waiting for him to chew through it alone.
By the time you reached there, a feeling of nervousness washed over you. Jake pulled the door open almost immediately, like heâd been hovering behind it. His eyes were wide, hair sticking up in about six different directions, and he looked so relieved to see you that it almost hurt.
âJesus Christ, youâre here,â he sighed, stepping aside so you could slip in, âhe got back from class and just shut down. Told me to fuck off when I asked if he wanted pasta. Jay tried the concerned roommate bit and got the door slammed in his face. This isnâtâhe doesnât do this, yâknow?â
You nodded, throat tight, âI know.â
Jake hesitated, then added almost sheepishly, âif heâs being a dick, tell him I said to stop being a dramatic prick or iâll take you away, or whatever.â
You gave him a chuckle and headed straight for the bedroom door, hoping that it wouldnât be locked. It wasnât, thankfully so, and you pushed the door open before you could talk yourself out of it. Heeseung sat on the edge of the bed in those black sweats that hung too low on his hips, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing. His hair was a mess, like heâd been running his hands through it for hours. The silver chain sat against his collarbone, rising and falling with these tight little breaths. He looked exhausted, hollowed out even.
He heard the door and his head snapped up.
For a second his eyes went wide, like he couldnât believe it was really you standing there. The whiplash of emotions was too much, especially when you were clad in his hoodie with sadness gracing your pretty face that he really always wished to see happy. He stood up so fast the bed creaked, crossed the room in two strides, and pulled you against him like heâd been waiting to do exactly that all day.
His hands were rough as he grabbed your nape the second the door closed shut behind you, breathing hard as your lips parted to ask a question, but he only closed his eyes, slid his hand up to your head as he pushed you against the door, pushing his lips against yours in a messy claim.Â
He can be rough, he can be the one to give you pleasure, of course he can. His fingers tightened in your hair, tilting your head exactly how he wanted it, tongue sliding in deep. You tasted the faint cherry from whatever heâd been drinking, felt the way his chest heaved against yours like heâd been running.
âMissed you,â he mumbled right into your mouth, the words half-bitten off by another rough kiss, âfuck, I missed you so bad today.â
âHeeseungâwait, what the hell happenedââ you tried, but he swallowed the question with his mouth, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to sting before dragging his teeth down the side of your neck. His free hand shoved under the hem of the hoodie, palm sprawled over the expanse of your waist, fingers digging in like he needed to feel skin right now
âShh,â he breathed against your throat, voice wrecked, âdonât talk. Justâlet me.â He sucked a mark right below your ear, like he was stamping proof that you were here, that you were his. His hips pressed forward, pinning you tighter to the door, and you could feel how hard he already was through his sweats.
The force of him made your breath hitch, your back flush against the cool wood while every inch of him burned insistent. He was never like this, not with you. Heeseung had always been careful, as if afraid that wrong move would make you slip away. But tonight something had snapped in him, and the way his fingers trembled just slightly against your skin told you he knew it too. He was trying to prove a pointâto himself, to the ghost of Jaeminâs voice still echoing in his headâthat he could be the rough, ravenous version he thought you wanted.
He spun you around so fast your palms slapped against the full-length mirror on the back of his closet door. The cool glass kissed your bare chest, making your nipples tighten instantly. Heeseungâs chest pressed flush to your back, one hand sliding up to grip your jaw, forcing your head up so you had no choice but to look at your own reflectionâparted lips, eyes already glassy.Â
âLook at yourself,â he rasped, âlook how fucking pretty you are when youâre like this for me.â
His other hand snaked down your stomach, fingers dipping between your thighs without warning. Two thick digits pushed inside you in one smooth glide, curling instantly against that spot that made your knees buckle. You gasped, forehead dropping forward until it rested on the mirror, but Heeseungâs grip on your jaw tightened, yanking you back up.
âEyes open, baby. Watch, yeah?âÂ
It most certainly was hot to see him take control, but you couldnât understand the sudden switch, the implications, your mind was too foggy with the way youâd missed him through the day. Heeseung was too in his head, as if on some mission to make you feel goodâwhich he always achieved, yet was not satisfied.Â
He pumped his fingers slow and deep, twisting them on every drag out so you felt every ridge, every knuckle. The wet, slick sounds of your pussy taking his fingers echoed obscenely in the quiet dorm room. In the mirror you watched it all: the way your lips parted on a shaky moan, the flush crawling down your neck to your chest, the way your tits pressed and flattened against the cool glass with every rock of your hips. Heeseungâs reflection behind you was devastatingâdark hair falling into his eyes, jaw clenched tight, that chain around his neck swaying every time he thrust his fingers harder.
âGod, youâre so deep already,â you whimpered, hips rocking back to meet his hand, âkeep going like that, yeah, just like that, Hee.â
Heeseung groaned low, forehead dropping to your shoulder for a second before he forced himself to look up again, as if in pain, âthatâs it. Fuck, listen to how messy you sound. Youâre dripping down my wrist, baby. Such a good girl for me.â
You bit your lip, eyes fluttering, but he tapped your jaw again.
âDonât close your eyes. Want you to see how pretty you look when I finger fuck you like this.â
âBossy tonight,â you teased breathlessly, even as your thighs started trembling, âI like it, but youâre gonna make me cum already if you keep rubbing my clit like that.â
âGood,â he rasped, thumb circling faster, fingers curling relentlessly, âcum for me. Right now. Let me see it.â
You moaned his name loud, walls fluttering and clenching around his fingers as you came, slick coating his hand. Heeseung kept working you through it, slower but deep, murmuring against your neck, âthatâs my girlâfuck, youâre so pretty when you cum. Look at you shaking for me.â
He pulled his fingers out slowly, then brought them to your lips.
âTaste yourself, baby, hm? Câmon, open up.â
You sucked them clean, eyes never leaving his in the reflection, and he cursed under his breath the second your tongue swirled around his fingers.Â
âFuckâyouâre gonna kill me.â
Before you could catch your breath he dropped to his knees behind you, hands gripping your hips and yanking you back so your ass arched toward his face.
âKeep watching the mirror,â he said, voice hoarse with need, âI want you to see me eat this pussy like Iâve been starving for it.â
Then his mouth was on you, as filthy as he could manage. His tongue dragged slow and broad from your clit all the way up, and you moaned loud, hands sliding down the glass.
âOh my god, Heeââ
âMhm, fuck, you taste even better after you come,â he groaned against you, the vibration making your legs weak, âspread your legs a little wider for me, baby. Let me get deeper.â
You did, pushing back against his face. His tongue fucked into you while his nose nudged your clit, then he sucked your swollen clit into his mouth hard.
âYesâright there, donât stop,â you panted, âyour tongue feels so fucking good, baby, keep sucking like that.â
Heeseung moaned into your pussy, one hand reaching around to rub your clit while the other spread you open wider, âtell me how much you like it,â he mumbled between licks, voice desperate, âtell me you love my mouth on you.â
âI love itâfuck, I love your mouth, Hee. Youâre so good at thisâshit, Iâm gonna cum again if you keep going like that.â
He sucked harder, tongue flicking fast, fingers joining to curl inside you, âthen let go again, right on my tongue. I want to feel you fall apart while you watch yourself in the mirror.â
Your second orgasm crashed over you even harder, a high pitched moan leaving your mouth, almost as if you were chanting his name like a mantra, thighs shaking violently as you came on his tongue, and Heeseung licked you through every pulse, slow and greedy, humming happily like he couldnât get enough.
You were still trembling when he finally pulled away, breathing hard against the inside of your thigh. His eyes met yours in the mirror for a second, looking all desperate, almost frantic before he stood up and turned you around. His hands were shaking as they gripped your waist.
âCome here,â he said, voice rough, like the words were being dragged out of him. He kissed you immediately, with the need to taste the way youâd just fallen apart for him, âbed. I need you on the bed right now.â
You nodded, legs still unsteady, and he didnât wait. He lifted you, your back hitting the mattress a second later. He climbed over you fast, knees bracketing your hips, but instead of diving right in he paused, hovering above you, chest heaving. His eyes were wide, pupils blown, and for a split second you saw the soft Heeseung underneath all that intensityâthe one who always checked on you, the one who was terrified of messing this up.
âYou really want this?â He asked, voice cracking a little even though he was trying to sound sure. His hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your skin like he couldnât stop himself, âall the way, me inside you. Tell me you want it, baby, please.â
âI want it,â you whispered, reaching up to pull him closer by his chain, âI want you, Hee. Stop holding back.â
He let out a shaky breath and nodded, like he was steeling himself. He shoved the rest of his clothes off as you watched the pretty boy in front of you. It was clear how he wanted to prove a point, and you were gonna let him, granted he wasnât in the mood to talk, his faint muscles flexing was distracting you as well, but yeah, you were letting him take control.Â
He gripped your thighs and spread you open wider, breathing hard as he tried not to stare to the point he starts drooling because, lord, you looked absolutely stunning all spread out on his bed, looking up at him with need, bottom lip bitten. He lined up, the blunt head of his cock pressing right against your entrance, and for a second he just stayed there, breathing hard, eyes flicking up to yours like he was still fighting whatever storm was in his head.
âTell me again,â he said, âtell me you want this.â
âI want this,â you breathed, pulling him down into a messy kiss, tongues sliding deep right away, âI want you inside me, Hee. Stop thinking and just take me.â
He groaned into your mouth and pushed forward.
The first inch stretched you open, slow and thick. You both gasped against each otherâs lips.
âFuckâyouâre so tight,â he muttered, forehead pressed to yours, hips trembling as he held still, âjust the tip and youâre already gripping me like that. You okay?â
You nodded quickly, nails dragging lightly down his back, âkeep going, I can take more.â
He kissed you again, deeper this time, almost desperate, and rolled his hips forward on the second thrust as another inch sank in. The burn was sharp but so fucking good your back arched.
âShitâbaby,â he groaned, voice cracking. He sucked a hard mark right under your jaw, teeth grazing your skin as he pushed in a third time, slower, letting you adjust, âyou feelâgosh, you feel unreal, iâm trying not to lose it already.â
Your nails dug in harder, scratching down his shoulder blades as he gave one more careful thrust and finally bottomed out, hips flush against yours. The full stretch made you moan loud into his mouth, legs tightening around his waist.
Heeseung stilled completely, breathing ragged against your neck, trying not to whimper, âtalk to me. Does it hurt? Tell me the truth.â
âA little,â you whispered, âbut I love it. You feel so deep already. Move, baby, I need you to move.â
He started with slow, deep rolls of his hips, grinding against you on every stroke like he was still trying to stay in control. But you could feel the tension building in his body, the way his fingers dug into your thighs a little harder each time.
âYeah? Like this?â He asked, voice rougher now as he snapped his hips forward a little sharper, âyou want me to fuck you harder?â
âHarder,â you moaned, nails raking down his back again, leaving red lines, âdonât be gentle tonight. I want all of it.â
He dropped his head to your neck and bit down hard, sucking yet another dark mark into your skin as his hips suddenly slammed forward. The thrusts turned brutal, the bed creaking loudly under you. His chain slapped against your chest with every snap of his hips. He was fucking you like heâd been holding back for monthsâdesperate, almost punishing strokes that knocked the breath out of you.
âFuckâfuck, baby,â he groaned against your throat, voice completely wrecked, âyouâre taking me so fucking good. This pussy is mine tonight. Mine.â
You cried out and he kissed you again, tongues sliding messily while he pounded into you without any rhythm left. His hips stuttered, slamming harder, faster, completely mindless now, like every doubt in his head was being fucked out with every brutal thrust.
âShitâI canâtâcanât slow down,â he panted, âyou feel too good, gonna fuck you until you canât walk tomorrow.â
He was goneâeyes hazy, sweat dripping down his chest, hips snapping wildly as he lost himself inside you, chasing that raw, desperate need to prove he could be everything he thought you wanted. His chain bounced wildly against your chest, his fingers digging bruises into your thigh like he needed something to hold onto.Â
You were right there with him, body tightening, moans spilling out against his mouth, when the intensity tipped over into something too much, too fast. Your hand shot back, fingers digging into his hip.
âHeeseungâstop. Stop for a second.â
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt, every muscle locking up at once. His breath hitched hard against your neck. For a long second the room was just the sound of both of you breathing, ragged and uneven. You could feel the panic crashing over him.Â
âFuckâdid I hurt you?â His voice cracked, he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes already glassy with tears that spilled over when he blinked, âshit, Iâm so sorryâI got too rough, I didnât mean to, I was trying so hard not to be soft and I justâfuck, I thought if I fucked you harder youâd want me, youâd stay, Iââ
His lip trembled. Another tear slid down his cheek and landed warm on your skin. He looked completely shattered, still deep inside you, like the idea that he might have hurt you was breaking him apart right there.
You cupped his face with both hands, thumbs gently brushing the tears from under his eyes, âbaby, shh. You didnât hurt me,â you whispered, voice soft, full of warmth, ânot even a little. I promise. You feel so good, Hee. Câmon breathe with me, okay?â
He stared at you, eyes wide and wet, lips pressed tight together like he was trying not to fall apart completely. He gave the smallest shake of his head, refusing to speak at first.
You leaned up and kissed him, just a gentle press of your lips until he softened into it, a shaky little exhale leaving him. When you pulled back you kept your forehead against his, thumbs still stroking his cheeks.
âTell me whatâs wrong,â you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, âI can feel it, baby. Somethingâs been eating at you. Please talk to me.â
Heeseung swallowed hard, eyes fluttering shut for a second as another tear slipped free. His voice came out small, cracked, almost ashamed.
âJaemin cornered me after class,â he whispered, âuhâhe said Iâm too soft, fucking whipped. That Iâm just a pathetic rebound and youâd get bored of me in a week because someone like me could never keep a girl like you. Said you need someone who can actually fuck you right, not some gentle loser,â his breath hitched, âI justâI didnât want to be that guy anymore. I wanted to prove I could be what you need, I know this isnât what you wanted, our whole FWB thing.â
You stayed right there, forehead pressed to his, thumbs still gently wiping his tears as you looked at him with nothing but softness in your eyes, heart hurting at how the guy who makes you the happiest was reduced to some loser by your pathetic excuse of an ex.Â
âI like you exactly how you are,â you let out, heat creeping up your neck, the position only making you feel more with his cock still buried deep in you.Â
âYâyou like me?â He gasped as you licked his tear away, âreally?â
âI do, Hee. I forgot about the whole no strings arrangement long back, I found myself wanting to spend more time with you, and who am I to deprive myself of happiness?â You chuckled, âyou canât force your feelings to go away, or change yourself, yâknow? Fuck Jaemin, he doesnât know shit, he could never make me cum and he definitely could never make me feel the way you do.â
Heeseung let out a shaky, broken exhale, his forehead still resting against yours as fresh tears welled up, âI thoughtâI thought I was ruining everything. I was so scared youâd realize Iâm just the rebound, and youâd leave. I didnât want to lose you, so I tried to be someone else tonight. Iâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head, âyou didnât ruin anything, Hee, not even close. You could never ruin this. Iâm right here, okay? Iâm not going anywhere, I donât mind you being rough or soft, yeah?â
He swallowed hard, âI donât want to be rough, I never really did. I just, I thought thatâs what you needed from me. But I want to be soft with you, can Iâcan I do that? Please?â
You couldnât help the soft chuckle that escaped you, the sound made his lips twitch, and then he was smilingâsmall, shy, and so genuinely relieved it made your heart squeeze. He immediately hid his face in the crook of your neck, embarrassed, his breath warm against your skin as he let out a quiet, shy laugh of his own.
âStop laughing at me,â he mumbled into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice, the way his shoulders relaxed.
âIâm not laughing at you,â you whispered, still chuckling as you threaded your fingers through his hair, âIâm laughing because youâre adorable, and I like you like this. Exactly like this.â
Heeseung lifted his head just enough to look at you again, eyes still glassy but now shining with something brighter as he managed another kiss, pouring every unsaid feeling into it. When he pulled back, his voice was soft.Â
âI love you,â he breathed out, âIâm so in love with you. I donât want no-strings, I want everything. Mornings where I wake up and youâre stealing my hoodie. Nights where we fall asleep tangled up like this, and I want all of it with you.â
You smiled against his lips, heart so full it felt like it might burst, âIâm falling in love with you too, Hee, I want all of that with you too.â
He whined, kissing you all clumsy, rolling his hips in long, loving strokes that made you feel every inch of him. The pace was unhurried, like he wanted to savor every second.
âFeel that?â He whispered, forehead pressed to yours, eyes locked on you, âI love being inside you like this. I love feeling you around meâso warm, so perfect.â
You moaned softly, legs wrapping tighter around him as you rocked up to meet his slow thrusts, âyou feel so good, baby.â
Heeseung smiled again with a giggle, hiding his face in your neck for a moment before kissing along your throat, âyouâre so beautiful,â he murmured between kisses, âthe way you look when Iâm inside you, the little sounds you make, I could stay like this for hours. Just loving you, just making you feel good.â
His hand found yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning it gently above your head while the other slid down to cup your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple in slow, tender circles. Every thrust was accompanied by quiet wordsâI love you, you feel incredible, never letting you go, whispered against your skin like prayers.
You squeezed his hand, âI love how you make me feel safe, donât ever change, okay?â
âI wonât, I promise, i just want to make you feel loved. Every single day.â
The room filled with nothing but the soft creak of the bed, your quiet moans, and his gentle praises. He kept the pace slow and deep, grinding against you on every thrust so your clit rubbed perfectly against him. His lips never left your skinâkissing your neck, your jaw, your mouth, your collarbone like he couldnât bear to stop touching you.
âYouâre everything to me,â he whispered, voice thick with emotion as he rolled his hips again, âIâm so lucky youâre mine. So fucking lucky.â
âIâm the lucky one, baby. Now keep loving me just like this, I never want this to end.â
Heeseung smiled against your mouth, eyes shining with pure adoration, and did exactly thatâloving you slow, deep, and full of so much tenderness it felt like the rest of the world had disappeared.
Just the two of you, and the moonlight in the room.Â
MEANWHILE:
You shushed Heeseung for the nth time as he smiled against your palm, but you were serious, peering down the hallway from the narrow alcove where youâd both hidden behind a pillar.
âStop smiling, youâre going to get us caught,â you whispered, though your own grin was fighting to break free.
Heeseung only chuckled quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your wrist, âcanât help it. You look so adorable trying to be all serious.â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart felt warm as his arms stayed wrapped around your waist from behind, chin resting on your shoulder.
The classroom door finally swung open. Students spilled out, and then Jaemin stepped into the hallway, laughing loudly with his friends.
The second you saw him, you stepped out without hesitation, you lifted the chilled cup and poured the entire icy matcha straight over his head from the first floor, the aim being too good to your surprise.Â
Jaemin gasped, stumbling back as green liquid drenched his hair and hoodie, âwhat the fuckââ
Loud laughter exploded from the crowd around him. Phones came out instantly, people whistling and clapping, and you didnât stay to admire your work.
You grabbed Heeseungâs hand and ran, both of you sprinting down the side hallway until you ducked into an empty stairwell, breathless and laughing.
âOh my god, his face,â you wheezed, back pressed against the wall.
Heeseung leaned over you, one hand beside your head, smiling so beautifully it made your knees weakâeyes crinkled, full of pure adoration and joy.
âYouâre insane, taking revenge for me again,â he said softly, âand Iâm so in love with you.â
You reached up, cupping his cheek. He leaned in and kissed you sweetly, so full of everything you two had become. When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he was still smiling that same breathtaking smile.
âI love you,â he whispered.
You kissed the corner of his mouth, grinning, and you did mean it with your whole heart as you proceeded to say.Â
GENRE/CW: smut (multiple scenes), angst, fluff, porn with plot, down bad hee, switch!hee, lowkey subby hee, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), lots of kissing, cunnilingus, blowjob, dry humping, fingering, sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, marking, crying. mentions of nicknames, messy feelings, lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 24.7k words!
SYNOPSIS: Money canât buy loyalty, and neither can years of friendship. After your boyfriend and your best friend decide to fuck each other behind your back, the only silver lining is Heeseungâthe one person who looks as hollow as you feel. It begins as a petty revenge kiss and a no-strings situationship, but what will you do if it slowly turns into something dangerously real?
A/N: hihi loves <3 sorry for the wait, i had to edit a few scenes but here we are now, i hope you guys enjoy the fic, also i love jaem (sorry jaem), moon nics ricey cameo lets gaurrr <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <3
It really was a sight to see.Â
Your best friend pressed up against your boyfriend like theyâd invented the concept of gravity, her hands shamelessly roaming under the hem of his shirt while his mouth dragged along the line of her neck.Â
No shame, not even a flicker of it. To the drunk, sweating crowd around them, it probably just looked like another hazy corner of the partyâtwo bodies tangled in the dim lights, music blasting so loud it swallowed any guilt, if they cared to harbour any that is, but you saw everything.
To be more precise, you found out yesterday when they got bold enough to fuck each other at your boyfriendâs apartment, and oblivious enough to not notice your presence, or your low chuckle at the depravity of the situation. Instead of feeling mad, you felt that bone deep numbness. Why trust anyone at this point?
Emotionally unavailable, the label had never sounded so accurate, but was it truly your fault when you never felt the need to expect anything from him? It certainly was an experience faking your orgasms for him, but you cared on the deeper levelsâwell, till you found him balls deep inside your now ex best friend.Â
So you sat there now on the worn leather couch, legs crossed, drink dangling from your fingers, watching them like it was just another Tuesday night show.
âOh heyâyouâre here! Have you seen Mina?âÂ
The voice cut through the haze of music and chatter, slightly breathless. You turned your head slowly, lashes lowering just a fraction as your gaze landed on Heeseung.
He stood a few feet away, tall and striking even in the crowd, dark maroon hair tousled like heâd rushed all the way here. His sharp jaw was tense, brows drawn together in mild confusion as he scanned the room. The leather jacket hanging off his broad shoulders caught the shifting lights, and for a moment, you wondered how heâd react to the news of his girlfriend in the arms of his best friend.Â
You tilted your head, lips curving into a slow, amused smile that didnât quite reach your eye,Â
âyeah,â you said, voice smooth as you clicked your tongue, âright over there.â
You lifted your glass in a lazy gesture toward the corner, and Heeseung followed your line of sight. The shift in his expression was immediate and downright visceral. His eyes widened, pupils blown with disbelief as he took in the scene of Minaâs leg hooked shamelessly around his best friendâs hip, her mouth pressed to the underside of his jaw while his hands roamed with practiced familiarity.Â
The way they moved together spoke of stolen nights and secret touchesâmonths, maybe longer.
âTheyâre cheating,â you added lightly, almost conversationally, as if commenting on the weather as you took a slow sip from your drink, âbold choice, doing it in plain sight like this. Guess they figured neither of us would actually show up tonightâI mean, I did mention I wouldnât.â
Heeseungâs adamâs apple bobbed visible, a flash of hurt brewed behind his eyes, before it ignited this anger within him, âwhat the fuckââ the words slipped out rather hoarse, broken.Â
He didnât really look at you, eyes locked on them as if he couldnât look away. Before you could say anything else, he was moving, pushing through the dense crowd with single-minded intensity. You watched his retreating back for a moment, that same curiosity curling in your chest. It wouldâve been a sight to stay and watch the fireworks, sure, but you just got up.Â
You wove through the crowd without hurry, heels clicking softly up the narrow wooden stairs, each step carrying you farther from the mess downstairs.
The upstairs hallway was dimmer, and at the end of it, the balcony door was wide open, letting the night air slip in. You stepped outside, pulling a cigarette from the pack tucked in your jacket, lips closing around it as you flicked your lighter.Â
First drag hit deep, filling your lungs with that bitter, familiar burn. You leaned against the railing, letting the smoke curl out slow between your parted lips, eyes half-lidded against the wind tugging at your hair.
For a minute, everything felt almost peaceful, comfortable even, then the door scraped open behind you, and Heeseung stepped out, breathing hard like heâd run the whole way up. His hair was messier now, dark burgundy strands falling into his eyes, and his faceâgod, his face was a wreck. Eyes glassy with everything he was trying not to feel, cheeks flushed, mouth pressed into a thin, angry line.
Without asking, he closed the distance in two long strides and plucked it right from your lips.
A surprised little chuckle slipped out of you before you could stop it, and you observed how he took a deep, shaky drag from where your lipstick had stained the cigarette, holding it in for long before he blew the smoke up toward the dark sky. His free hand gripped the railing tight enough that his knuckles went white.Â
âFucking hell,â he rasped, voice rough, âhow long? Justâtell me how long theyâve been doing this behind our backs.â
âSince at least yesterday,â you said, âI walked in on them fucking in his dorm, didnât even have the decency to lock the door,â a faint smile ghosted your lips, âI just closed it again and left.â
Heeseungâs head turned toward you slowly, eyes wide with shock, the cigarette nearly slipping from his fingers, âyou saw them and didnât say shit?â
You shrugged, âwhat was there to say? They wanted each other, and Iâve never been the type to drown myself that deeply anyway. It just felt odd to see Mina do it, that part did affect me, years of friendship drowned for what? A guy.â
Heeseung let out a disbelieving huff, running a hand through his already tousled hair, âJaemin was my best friend, man. Weâve been tight since freshman yearâshared everything. And now this?â His voice cracked slightly, âfeels like a fucking knife in the back from both sides. They looked guilty for a second but didnât even bother following me here to explain themselves, though they did have the audacity to ask me not to tell you.â
You studied him for a moment through his ramble, the way the balcony light cast sharp shadows across his sharp jaw and the pained lines around his eyes. He looked devastatingly undone, yet there was something resilient in the way he stood there, refusing to crumble completely. The sight stirred a spark in your chestâthat familiar free-spirited curiosity.Â
You passed the cigarette back to him after a puff, âpeople reveal their true colors eventually. Itâs pragmatic to accept it and keep moving instead of letting it rot you from the inside.â
Silence stretched between you, thick with shared betrayal. Heeseung took another drag, then offered it back, his gaze lingering on your face with astute observation, like he was trying to peel back the layers of your calm detachment, he just couldnât understand how you seemed soâunaffected?
You crushed the cigarette against the railing and flicked it into the night. That proactive restlessness bloomed brighter inside you, eyes gleaming with mischievous insight.
âWanna do something fun?â You asked.Â
Heeseung blinked, lips parting in surprise, âfun? Like right now?â
âMhm,â you stepped closer, âare you okay with a kiss, Heeseung?â
His breath hitched audibly, throat bobbing, âaâa kiss?â The word came out hoarse, almost stunned. His gaze dropped to your mouth, lingering, before snapping back up, cheeks flushing darker, âyou serious?â
âVery,â you held his stare, âyes or no?â
âIsnât that cheating?â He looked devastatingly clueless even mumbling that question, and you raised your brow.Â
âYes or no?â You asked again.Â
He searched your face, the raw pain still churning, but something hungrier kindled beneath itâcuriosity. After a beat, he gave one slow nod making you chuckle.
You took his hand and led him back down into the partyâs suffocating crowd, and he followed without asking any questions. In the corner, Jaemin and Mina were still shamelessly entangled, her arms looped around his neck, his hands possessive on her hips.
You stepped straight into their space without hesitation, grabbing Jaeminâs arm to pull him back.Â
The sharp crack of your palm across Jaeminâs cheek echoed through the room, his head whipped sideways. Mina stumbled back with a gasp as the crowd around you froze, then erupted in murmurs and the bright flare of phone screens.
âWhat the fuck?â Jaemin snarled, clutching his reddening face, eyes blazing the instant recognition hit, âwâwait, Y/N?âÂ
Minaâs face drained of color, âweâwe didnât think you would show up tonightââ
You desperately wanted to laugh, but you maintained your character, cause how were they dumb enough to think that you wouldnât find out, especially when Heeseung did too.Â
âClearly,â you said, getting ready to lie beautifully, âHeeseung told me everything. How long have you two been fucking behind our backs?â
Whispers exploded outward. Jaemin fumbled for excuses, mouth opening uselessly.
âI didnât expect this from you Mina,â you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek as tears started forming in her eyes.
âNoâlisten to me, we didnâtââ
âWhatever,â you continued, a crystalline laugh escaping you, âbe happy with each other, Iâll find someone better.â
You turned away from their frozen faces, and Heeseung stood right there, looking completely wrecked. Your eyes met his, like really met them. For a second everything else including the stares, the phones, the bassâfaded into background noise.
He looked at you like you were the only person left in the room, and maybe to him, you were.Â
You stepped in close, sliding your hands up his chest. His heart was pounding under your palms, doe eyes full of trust and anticipation for what was to come. Heeseungâs breath caught, but he didnât move away. His hands found your waist almost on instinct, fingers spreading wide and warm through your clothes, before pressing in to hold on tighter.Â
His gaze dropped to your mouth before flicking back up, nodding slightly as he understood the question you asked him earlier.Â
Which is why you tilted your head and kissed him.
You slotted your lips against his rather softly, just to test him at first. His mouth was warm, faintly tasting of smoke and the drink heâd had earlier. He froze for half a second, stunned at the easiness of it all, then let out this quiet, broken sound against your lips and kissed you back.Â
The kiss turned deeper fast, hungrier. Your tongue brushed his and he groaned low in his throat, the vibration rolling straight through you. You slid one hand into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands, while the other stayed fisted in his jacket, pulling him closer. Heeseungâs grip on your waist tightened almost painfully so, one arm wrapping further around your back to press you flush against him. His chest rose and fell hard against yours. You could feel every shaky breath, the way his fingers trembled just slightly where they dug into your sides.
It was messy, a little desperate. Tongues sliding, breaths mixing hot and uneven, the faint wet sound of it somehow louder than the music behind. He kissed like he was pouring every bit of hurt and anger and sudden want into you as you took it all, giving the same right back.
When you finally pulled back just enough to breathe, Heeseung was completely gone. Lips swollen and shiny, chest heaving like he couldnât catch his breath, eyes dark and hazy like his brain had short-circuited. A wrecked little sound slipped out of him, half-gasp, half-groanâas he stared at you, dazed and breathing hard.
Your smile embodied satisfaction as you leaned in again and pressed one slow, teasing peck to his parted lips, letting it linger just enough to make his breath hitch all over again.
Jaemin and Mina were staring like theyâd seen a ghost with their jaws dropped, faces pale, eyes wide with pure disbelief. The whole party had gone dead quiet around you, everyone watching, phones still pointed your way like this was the best drama theyâd seen all year (it probably was).
You laced your fingers with Heeseungâs, gave his hand a light squeeze, and tugged him toward the door.
âLetâs get out of here,â you murmured close to his ear, voice low and a little playful against his skin.
Heeseung didnât argue, just followed, still breathing hard, fingers gripping yours tight as the door swung shut behind you.Â
The cool night air hit your heated skin, and for the first time tonight, everything felt wide open again.
A rather loud screech right next to your left ear woke you up, and you wondered if the world had somehow been corrupted by zombies because thereâs no other explanation for such sounds, but your friend made it possible somehow.Â
You jolted, heart kicking once before your brain caught up. Sunoo was practically jumping beside your bed, phone in his hand, âone timeâone single time I decide to stay in and catch up on sleep and you create a fucking scene? Gosh, babe.â
Winter shoved the door the rest of the way open with her shoulder, hoodie sleeves pushed up to her elbows, hair still a wild mess from her deep sleep. She planted herself at the foot of your bed, arms crossed, eyes narrowing at you, âfuck, Y/N,â she said before her tone got softer, âare you okay? I fucking knew that girl was a snake from the first time she came over. And your boyfriend? I always hated him, al-fucking-ways.â
You were still blinking, eyes half open and not willing to adjust to the brightness. Right then, a chuckle escaped your lips at the memory of last nightâand you tried to remember the last time you felt so satisfied (maybe never?).Â
Sunoo dropped onto the edge of your mattress without waiting, âI always said we are your besties. The kind whoâd help you hide a body, no questions asked. Ride or die, baby.â
You sat up straight, blanket pooling around your waist, and opened your arms because of course they were right, âcome here, idiots.â
They didnât hesitate, Winter climbing on first, wrapping her arms around you like she could shield you from the whole damn world. Sunoo piled on top a second later, all limbs and very dramatic sighs, squishing the three of you into a tangled heap of familiar warmth.Â
âYeah,â you murmured into Sunooâs shoulder, voice muffled, âyou two are stuck with me.â
Winter huffed a soft laugh against your neck, âgood, because weâre not letting you deal with that snake ex-bestie and cheating ex-boyfriend shit alone. Weâre burning that chapter together.â
Sunooâs voice came out muffled too, âandâweâre keeping the video forever, that kiss looked cozy girl, what else did you doââ
You let yourself sink into the warmth for a long moment, the bone-deep numbness from yesterday easing just enough to let something real and grateful slip through. The sting of Minaâs betrayal was still there, but it felt distant nowâalmost coherent in its simplicity.Â
People drift apart, friendships end. Youâd always known that. What intrigued you more was how easily these two could make the weight feel lighter, their amiable chaos wrapping around you like a promise that some things indeed were here to stay.Â
Meanwhile, Heeseung was suffering.Â
Jay had shoved his phone into Heeseungâs face, close enough for him to make out, uh, absolutely nothing. It seemed like a blurry mess of lights until Jay yanked it back to show Heeseung a pixel version of you grabbing his jacket and pulling him into what appeared to be a passionate kiss.Â
The angle caught the exact moment his hands found your waist, the way his shoulders had tensed then eased up all at once. Heeseungâs ears burned red so fast it felt like someone had lit a match under his skin.
âBro,â Jay said, grinning, âthe video is everywhere, especially on the uni insta page for students. Someone made it into a trendâitâs actually insane.â
Before Heeseung could even form a coherent thought, the bedroom door slammed open hard enough to rattle the frame, scaring both the boys.Â
Jake came barreling in, hair still sticking up from sleep, eyes wild, âyou bitchâyou kissed Y/N? Sheâs mineâI called dibs on her months ago!â
Heeseung groaned, dragging both hands down his face, âsheâs not an object, Jake.â
âOh fuck youâyou know I like her,â Jake shot back, dropping on his knees.Â
Sunghoon strolled in next, casual as ever, one shoulder propped against the wall. He let out a low whistle and Heeseung wondered what the fuck is wrong with his friends, âso youâre what? Dating now? That was one hell of a plot twist.â
Jay sniggered, not even trying to hide it, ânah dude, you think he can handle someone like Y/N?â
Jake tried to butt in again, âI canââ but the rest of them talked right over him like usual.
Heeseung sat up slowly, the full reminder of the last night coming right back to him. The slap echoing through the room, the way youâd looked at him right before you kissed him, eyes bright with that reckless spark. The way heâd kissed you back like he enjoyed it. He swallowed hard, throat tight.
âDid I cheat on Mina?â He asked quietly.
The room went still for half a second, all three of them looked at him like heâd grown a second head. Jay let out a disbelieving laugh, âshe cheated on you while you were still together.â
âYeah but I kissed someone else literally a few minutes laterââ
âDoesnât matter,â Sunghoon cut in, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Heeseung stared at the blanket pooled over his lap, replaying the kiss againâthe heat of your mouth, the way your fingers had twisted in his hair, that soft, teasing peck you pressed to his lips after. It had been the best kiss heâd ever had. The whole situation felt far too complicated for the simple labels his friends were throwing arounf, and yet he couldnât stop the memory from looping behind his eyes.
Jay sighed, softer this time, leaning back on his elbows, âdid it feel good?â
They all looked at him. Heeseung didnât answer right away, he just swallowed again, the memory burning behind his eyes like it refused to fade.
You on the other hand were absolutely not functioning when Sunoo had a trillion questions lined up for youâall of which consisted of Heeseung. You three had just managed to make coffees when the loud knock interrupted you. A sigh was all you could manage as you opened the door to find your pathetic excuse of an ex standing there withâroses? Wow, he didnât even have the decency to remember that you were allergic.Â
He spoke up before you could, âI know i deserved that slap.â
Well, obviously.Â
âI messed upâI swear I donât want her.â He was looking at you with that pout he mustered whenever you both had disagreements.Â
You bit down your laugh, âyeah? So?â
âTake me back, baby, please?â
Right then someone flew past the door, and your mouth hung open as Sunoo straight up landed a kick on Jaeminâs thigh, resulting in him falling down with pain. Now, you laughed freely as Sunoo bent down to warn him, âstay away from her, okay?â
Jaemin turned to look at you, eyes wide, âwhatââ
âYou heard him, weâre over, Jaemin,â you shrugged, wrapping your arm around Sunoo as you both walked inside, Sunoo glaring at man till the door closed shut.Â
Jaemin stayed on the ground for a few more seconds, roses scattered around him, a thorn making him bleed just enough for him to roll his eyes.
That went well.
The afternoon sun filtered softly through the leaves of the uni garden, casting dappled shadows across the wooden bench where you sat. It had been three days since the party, and the campus still hadnât let either of you forget it. Random students kept approaching you in the hallways, the library, even the coffee lineâsome offering awkward condolences, others straight-up calling the slap and the kiss badass with wide-eyed admiration.Â
You sipped your mango matcha slowly, the garden was quiet now, just the distant hum of students walking between buildings and the soft rustle of leaves overhead. You felt normal, jolly even, like it hadnât affected you, but even you couldnât deny how good of a kiss it had been.Â
Too lost in the pdf in your iPad, you didnât notice Heeseung approaching until his shadow fell across your lap. He stopped a few feet away, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, hair still slightly messy and he somehow made it look good.
âHey,â he said, voice polite as it had always been, âcan we talk?â
You looked up, lips curving into an amiable smile, âsure, câmere sit,â you patted the empty space beside you on the bench and held out your mango matcha toward him, âwant some? Itâs good.â
Heeseung only cocked his brow, âsame straw?â
You blinked innocently, âyouâre saying that as if we didnât make out in front of the entire party three days ago.â
He stared at you for a moment, intrigued cause of your carefree answer, before he reached out and took the cup anyway. He drank without hesitation, the straw brushing his lips where yours had been moments ago, and when he lowered it, the corner of his mouth twitched.
You chuckled, watching the way his shoulders loosened just a fraction, âsoâtalk, whatâs on your mind, Heeseung?â
He handed the cup back, fingers brushing yours for a second longer than necessary, âIâve been thinking about that night. A lot.â His voice was quiet, almost hesitant, but his eyes stayed on yours, âthe kiss, the way you just handled everything. I keep replaying it and I canât make it make sense.â
You tilted your head, taking another slow sip before answering, âwhatâs there to make sense of? They cheated, we both saw it. I decided not to let it ruin my night and you were there. The kiss happenedâsimple.â
He let out a short, disbelieving breath, running a hand through his hair, âItâs not simple for me. Mina was my girlfriend, Jaemin was my best friend since freshman year. And so much happened in likeâan hour,â he paused, eyes searching your face, âdid it really not mess with you at all?â
You shrugged, âIt stung a little actually. Losing Mina as a friend after all those years felt kindaâodd? But drowning in it? Not really my thing.â Your lips curved again, âiâve never been the type to hand my whole heart over and expect it to stay put.â
Heeseung watched you for a long moment, âyou make it sound so coherent,â he muttered, almost to himself, âlike itâs all justâlogical. Meanwhile Iâve been walking around campus getting stopped by random people asking if weâre together now. Itâs been three days and I still feel like my headâs spinning.â
You laughed lightly, âsame here, a guy offered to buy me coffee because I deserved better, Itâs weirdly entertaining.â
Heeseungâs mouth twitched into a half-smile, the first real one youâd seen from him today, âyeah, even my friend Jake was sort of, how do I even put it? But yeah, he wasnât thrilled, hes got some crush on you.âÂ
Your eyes sparkled, âwait, isnât he the cute one with an accent? I like him.â
He shook his head at how you would probably encourage Jake, the thought was rather unsettling, then looked at you again, more serious, âbut, yâknowâthe kiss, that part wasnât just for show.â
That made you pause for a moment, and you held his gaze, intrigued by the way he was looking at youâlike he was trying to figure out how someone could be so calm in the middle of the wreckage.
âSo what are you saying?â You asked, voice soft but direct, âyou regret it?â
âNo,â he answered almost immediately, âI donât regret it, thatâs the problem. It felt good and I keep wondering what the hell that means when everything else is such a mess.â
You leaned back against the bench, letting the sun warm your face for a second, âit doesnât have to mean anything big, I meanâwe both got screwed over.â You watched how pretty he looked under the sunlight, lips slightly red cause heâd been biting them, âmaybe we donât overthink it. Maybe we justâjust see where it goes.â
Heeseung took the cup again, fingers brushing yours once more, and this time he didnât pull away right away, âyouâre really okay with that?â
You smiled, âIâm okay with a lot of things, Heeseung. Especially if they feel good.â
Neither of you said anything more for a moment. The conversation didnât need to be solved today, for now, sitting here with him, sharing the same straw and the same tension, felt like enough.
Heeseung has always been a man of few words, but even those little words seemed to disappear when you were around. And the worst part? You werenât even aware of it.
You werenât the one to intrude on anyoneâs personal space, and that included Heeseung, much to his relief (or dismay?), he was justâconfused.
A week had slipped by since the garden talk, and the quiet tension between you two had only grown heavier. Heâd spent the days avoiding Minaâs messages, the knot in his chest tightening every time her name appeared. But youâyou were everywhere. In literature class you sat three rows ahead, never together, but he stared. He couldnât stop noticing the way the light caught the curve of your neck when you leaned over your notes, the soft way your fingers tapped the edge of your pen, the small, absent smile that played on your lips when something in the lecture amused you. Every stolen glance left him more tangled than the last.
Tonight the restlessness had won. He pulled on a hoodie and walked to the 24-hour convenience store near the dorms, craving something mindless like his ride or dieâramen to quiet the noise in his head.
The annoyingly white lights buzzed overhead as he stepped inside, grabbing a basket and turning down the snack aisle, mind still half-lost in yesterdayâs class when youâd stretched and your shirt had ridden up just enough toâ
He stopped just then, cause you were right there,
standing in the middle of the aisle in soft pink pajama shorts that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs and a matching oversized hoodie that had slipped off one shoulder, you looked unfairly soft and warm, like youâd just rolled out of bed. Your hair was a little messy, and you were reaching up for a pack of strawberry gummies, the hem of the shorts riding higher with the movement.
Heeseungâs mouth went dry, and he wanted to slap himself for acting like a fucking creep.
You turned at the sound of his footsteps, eyes meeting his across the narrow aisle. A slow smile curved your lips, the same one that had been haunting him for days.
âHey,â you waved at him, like running into each other at midnight in pajamas was the most normal thing in the world, âcouldnât sleep either?â
Heeseung swallowed, stepping closer despite the way his pulse kicked up. The faint scent of your shampoo clinging to your hair, âneeded ramen, the boys emptied the fridge I swear,â he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck.
You nodded in understanding, âsame lowkeyâwas staring at the ceiling but then decided to get out.â You tilted your head, looking at him a little closer, eyes tracing the tired lines on his face, âyou look like youâve got a lot going on up there. Want to talk about it while we walk back?â
Heeseung hesitated for half a second, then nodded, âyeah, sounds good.â
You paid for your stuff together, the cashier barely glancing up, and stepped back out into the cool night air. The walk was easy at first, with absolutely no words being exchanged, your shoulders brushed every few steps, Heeseung kept his hands in his pockets, but he could feel the warmth of you next to him, the soft brush of your hoodie sleeve against his every time you shifted.
âBeen a week,â he said after a few minutes, âMina keeps texting, and of course I havenât answered. It feels weird ignoring her, but answering would feel worse.â
You hummed, glancing at him sideways, âI get that. Sometimes the easiest thing is just to let it sit there until it stops stinging, yâknow?â Your arm bumped his again as you walked, and you didnât pull away, âyou holding up okay with all of it?â
He just nodded, granting you a smile which made the corner of your lips lift up too, and he asked you the same, to which you laughed as if nothing had even happened.Â
It was so nice just walking beside you, even in silence, at this cursed hour of midnight, though Heeseung would argue and say that he felt more awake now than he did the whole day.Â
The dorm buildings came into view too soon, but then Heeseung saw something that made his steps falter on the pavement, body going rigid right beside you. It made you follow his line of sight, and of courseâMina was there, walking straight towards his building, head down and mind completely focused on her phone. She hadnât noticed you yet, but it was clear that she was going to approach Heeseung.Â
âShit,â he muttered under his breath, panic flashing across his features in a way you could feel it reach you too.
Before you could provide him with two words of comfort, his hand slid around your waist, fingers spreading wide and warm through the thin fabric of your hoodie. He pulled you in close, so close that your side pressed flush against his, the heat of his body juxtaposing the chill of the air. His palm was steady but his fingers trembled a little against your hip as you caught the faint scent of his cologne, it was clean and woody, just how you liked it.Â
âPlay along, please?â He whispered urgently against your ear, voice rougher now.
You only chuckled, leaning into him as if youâd done it before, slipping your arm around his back, fingers resting lightly against the small of his back. Your head tilted up towards him, a soft smile curving up as you looked at him. Heeseung was flushed cause, damn were you good at acting.Â
âGot it,â you murmured back.
Mina looked up at the exact moment, eyes widened at the sight, a gasp leaving her lips as she watched Heeseungâs hand slide lower on your back as you reached his dorm door.
You didnât even realize you were biting your bottom lip until Heeseungâs gaze dropped straight to it, his breath hitched, thumb pausing on your cheek as his other hand came up to cup your face, warm palms cradling your jaw like he was afraid you might pull away.
âCan I?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes searching yours.
You didnât answer, just leaned in, closing the small gap between you, and pulled him into the kiss.
Your lips met his softly at first and Heeseung made a quiet sound against your mouth, his hands cupping your face fully now, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as he kissed you back. The taste of him was faint, a hint of the cherry juice he must have had earlier. Your own hands slid up his chest, fisting lightly in his hoodie as you tilted your head to kiss him a little deeper.
When you finally pulled back, Heeseungâs eyes were dark and a little dazed, lips parted and cheeks flushed. His thumbs were still stroking your cheeks, reluctant to let go.
Mina stood frozen a few feet away, face pale, cause she swore to herself it was an act, but this? It didnât seem like one.Â
Heeseung didnât look at her, just tightening his grip on your waist and guided you through the door, pulling you inside with him. The warmth of his palm stayed glued to the small of your back the whole way, steady now, like he needed the contact to stay grounded.
Inside the apartment, Jake was sprawled on the couch in the living room, a half-eaten pizza box open on the coffee table, some mindless show playing low on the TV. He froze mid-bite when he saw you, eyes going wide.
You smiled, bright and completely at ease, like showing up at this hour with Heeseungâs arm still around you was the most normal thing in the world, âohâhey. Jake, right?â
âY/N? Uh yesâhi, youâre here?â Jake stuttered, making Hee roll his eyes.
You just walked over to him, dropping onto the couch beside him acting all normal though your heartbeat said otherwise, âyeah! Mind if I steal a bite?â
Jake blinked, then grinned like an idiot and lifted the slice he was holding right to your mouth, âhere, go for it.â
You leaned in and took a bite straight from his hand, cheese stretching between your fingers as you chewed, âmhm, this is actually good, thanks.â
Jakeâs face lit up even more, âright? You can have the whole slice if you want.â
Heeseung stood there watching the whole thing, jaw tight. He lasted about five seconds before he groaned low in his throat, âalright, thatâs enough.â He crossed the room in two quick strides, caught your wrist gently but firmly, and tugged you up from the couch, âcâmon.â
You let him pull you up, giving Jake a little wave over your shoulder, ânight, Jakey. Thanks for the pizza.â
Jake just waved back, still grinning, âanytime!â
The second Heeseungâs door clicked shut behind you, silence filled the roomâit was dim, lit only by the desk lamp, the air suddenly too warm and too small. Heeseungâs back pressed against the door, eyes dark and fixed on you before he walked over and plopped on his bed.Â
You clicked your tongue, tilting your head at him, ânow sheâs gonna think weâre dating.â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, looking genuinely sorry, âyeahâI know. Iâm so sorryâI just panicked and pulled you into this whole thing. You didnât have to go along with it.â
You shrugged, stepping closer until you were right in front of him. Then, without warning, you turned and sat right down on his lap, straddling his thighs like it was the most natural thing in the world. Heeseungâs breath caught, hands instinctively landing on your hips to steady you, eyes wide with surprise.
âI did kiss you first at the party,â you said, âso itâs kinda my fault too.â
Heeseungâs fingers flexed on your hips, holding you there. He gulped, throat bobbing visibly as he looked up at you, âso, now what?â he asked, voice rough.
You shrugged again, still sitting comfortably on his lap, fingers playing with the collar of his hoodie, âitâs your call, Hee.â
You kept talking as Heeseung pondered deeply about his choices. He didnât register you saying something about how Jakeâs face was priceless because Heeseung wasnât listening anymore. His eyes had dropped to the exposed line of your clavicle where your hoodie had slipped down, tracing the smooth skin there, then moving up to your lipsâstill a little shiny from the greasy pizza, slightly parted as you spoke. The way you were sitting on him, the soft weight of you on his thighsâit was too stimulating for him.Â
He didnât say anything, just leaned in and kissed you hard, mouth practically crashing into yours, one hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck, the other staying firm on your hip to keep you right where you were. There was nothing hesitant about it this timeâit was hungry, deep. His tongue brushed yours, and he groaned quietly into the kiss, the sound vibrating against your lips. You could feel the way his fingers tightened in your hair, the way his chest rose and fell fast against yours, the way his body reacted instantly to having you on his lap like this.
You kissed him back just as hard, hands sliding up his chest to fist in his hoodie. A soft moan slipped out of you when he sucked on your bottom lip, and Heeseung made this low, wrecked sound in response, hips shifting under you.
âFuck,â he breathed against your mouth, barely pulling back, âthis okay? Tell me if you want to stop.â
You shook your head, lips brushing his as you answered, voice already breathy, âdonât stopâkeep going.â
He groaned and kissed you harder, tongue sliding against yours as one hand slid under your hoodie, palm warm on your bare back. You rocked your hips down against him and he moaned into your mouth, the sound raw.
You pulled back just enough to speak, forehead resting against his, âwe doing this then?â You breathed against his lips, âno strings, just whenever we want or need?â
Heeseung swore you could read minds, âyeah,â he sighed in pleasure, âI want thatâyou and me, no strings.â
You smiled against his lips and kissed him again, deeper, grinding down slowly, âgood fucking boy.â
He groaned louder, the sound vibrating through you as his fingers dug into your thighs, âshitâIâve been so fucking pent up,â he muttered between kisses, hips rolling up to meet yours, âall week because of you.â
You moaned softly, rocking against him again with a chuckle, âthatâs adorable, keep going, yeah? Donât stop.â
He flipped you suddenly, laying you on your back and settling between your thighs. The new position made you both moanâthe weight of him pressing you into the mattress, lips chasing yours mindlessly as his tongue slid against yours, hand tracing higher under your hoodie, hips grinding down slowly.Â
âGod, you feel good,â he muttered, pulling you down for another kiss.
You nodded, moaning softly into his mouth, âso do you.â
The room filled with the sounds of lips, heavy breathing, and quiet moans as you kept moving together, hands roaming, bodies pressing closer. The conversation faded into breathy words and soft sounds between kisses, and honestly, both of you didnât care about much anymore. You both were just two horny adults functioning on a verbal agreement with no rules whatsoever.Â
Outside in the living room, Jake had just taken another bite of pizza when the first loud moan drifted through the door. His eyes widened with betrayalâthe slice slipping from his fingers and landed cheese-side down on the floor with a pathetic splat.
He stared at the closed door for a long second, mouth still full.
âWellâshit.â
You didnât know that the consequences of spending one night with Heeseung could be so dire, granted you didnât go beyond some innocent humping which bestowed you with the absolute pleasure of seeing Heeseung desperate and flushed underneath you.Â
The question bugged youâwhy would Mina even wish to leave such a beautiful man whoâs very willing to provide pleasure?Â
You were still turning that over in your head as you walked down the hallway, iPad tucked under your arm, one AirPod in, but your mind was elsewhereâwhich was odd considering you never were the kind to just stand and ponder about random things, during the day time at least. The last time it happened was when you were a kid and Zayn had left One direction.Â
Regardless, you chuckled at the idea of Heeseung being the one to garner your attention, since you never saw him in that light beforeâsomething about friendsâ partners being inanimate to you. Either way, you started walking back towards your dorm since the lectures were over, only to be stopped by Mina blocking your path with a scowl on her face.Â
You raised an eyebrow, âhey?âÂ
âWe need to talk,â she huffed, looking rather tired, maybe with the way people stopped the second they sensed any drama, and why wouldnât they? You both were the centre of it given the circumstances.Â
âDo we really?â You gave her a lazy look, knowing well it bothered her.Â
Her jaw clenched. âYou kissed Heeseung. In front of everyone. While he was still with me.â
A couple more heads turned. You could feel eyes on you now, phones probably already sliding out of pockets.
You let out a short breath, almost a laugh, âwhile he was still with you? Thatâs rich. Last time I checked, you were the one fucking my boyfriend in his dorm with the door wide open. I walked in on you two, actually. So maybe donât lecture me about cheating.â
Minaâs cheeks flushed, âthatâs not the sameââ
âIt kind of is,â you cut in, keeping your voice even, âHeeseung didnât deserve to find out like that, neither of us did, but at least I didnât sneak around for months like a coward. And yeah, I kissed himâIâd do it again. Heâs too good for the way you two treated him.â
Minaâs eyes flashed with anger, âyouâre no better than me. You basically cheated tooââ
âBro, are you actually serious right now?â
A tall guy with messy black hair and a skateboard tucked under his arm stepped out from the edge of the crowd. Youâd seen him around in a couple electives. He looked Mina up and down, completely unimpressed, having seen the scene at the party in flesh too.Â
âEveryoneâs seen the video,â he said, loud enough that the people nearby nodded, âI literally saw you and Jaemin at the party. Youâre the one who cheated, leave her alone.â
A girl a few feet away nodded like she agreed. Mina glanced around at all the stares, lips pressed tight, then spun on her heel and shoved through the crowd, practically running toward the exit.
You let out a real laugh this time, almost like you couldnât believe this was real, that your own friend would turn against you in such a manner. Riki turned to you, one corner of his mouth lifting.
âDamn,â he said, âthat was satisfying.â
âYeah,â you agreed, still chuckling as you started walking again, âthanks for stepping in. You really didnât have to.â
He shrugged, falling into step beside you, âsheâs been trying to change the perception, i saw her lying to my friend earlier. Someone had to say it. Iâm Riki by the way, or Ni-ki, whatever.â
âY/N,â you said, bumping his shoulder lightly, âseriously, I owe you a coffee for that.â
âBet,â he smirked, already pulling his phone out, âjust text me whenever. Iâm free most afternoons.â
Ten feet away, half-hidden behind a cluster of students, Heeseung had stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. Jay almost walked straight into his back, headphones on so conveniently, he missed the whole commotion.Â
âYou good?â He asked, lifting one side of his headphones, âHeeseung?â He asked yet again when he didnât get a reply.Â
How would he? When Heeseung was deep in thoughts, the tips of his ears red. Everyone knew he was the guy who kept to himself, not the kind to insert himself into a fightâeventually leading to him never getting into a situation where heâd have to defend himself.Â
But you did it so naturally with not a single hint of him witnessing the scene. It was heartwarming to say the least, the way you defended him so casually but your tone clearly portraying the care you harboured for him, even if it was little (as per Heeseung and his never ending self doubt).Â
Before Jay could wave a hand in front of his face, Jake came barreling around the corner like he was late for everything in life, backpack slipping off one shoulder. Without missing a beat he lunged forward, locking an arm around Heeseungâs neck and yanking him down into a tight headlock.Â
âSpill it right nowâthe hell did you do with Y/N last night, huh? Iâm not letting go till you talk, dude, I swear to godââ
Much to his dismay, Heeseung pushed him off with ease, âthe fuck? Get off,â he said, staring at Jake who looked like he hadnât slept at all.Â
Jay was completely lost, headphones now resting on his neck, âwhat am I missing here exactly? What even happened?â
Heeseung groaned, ânothing happenedââÂ
âNah, he took Y/N to his room and then I heard moans. Moansâdo you fucking get it? Heâs actually fucking her.â Jake ranted, eyes blown wide.Â
Jayâs eyebrows shot up, âwait, what? For real?â
Heeseung shoved Jake off properly this time, cheeks burning as he fixed his hoodie, âItâs notâfuck, can you not yell that in the middle of the hallway?â
Jake threw his hands up, looking genuinely offended, âIâm sorry, I was trying to eat pizza and process the fact that my dream girl was getting railed by my roommate. You couldâve at least given me a heads-up, man.â
Jay let out a low whistle, finally catching on. He crossed his arms, which had gotten muscular somehow, âso, you and Y/N? Like, actually?â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, ears still red, âwe have an arrangement of sorts. No strings attached, thatâs it.â
Jake stared at him like heâd been shot in the chest, âno strings? She deserves love, she deserves aftercare and pampering andââ
Jay was never good at hiding his amusement, especially if it consisted of embarrassing one of his friends, âyou sure you can actually do the no-strings thing? Youâre the guy who gets attached after one good conversation. Remember that girl from school who just smiled at you in the library and you were googling how to ask someone on a date at two a.m.?â
âShut the fuck up,â Heeseung muttered, but the corner of his mouth twitched with his mind drifting back to you.Â
Jake however, wasnât done. He threw his hands up again, âIâm serious, I even fucking dropped the pizza slice she ate from.â
Jay snorted, âyouâre never gonna let that go noq, are you?â
âNever,â Jake said, dead serious, âthat couldâve been our indirect kiss.â
Heeseung shook his head, finally starting to walk again so they wouldnât be late for class, âItâs fine. Weâre both adults, itâll be okay.â
Jay fell into step beside him, clapping him on the back a little too hard, âyeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that, I give it ten days before youâre buying her flowers and writing her name in your notes with hearts around it.â
âTwo weeks,â Jake corrected, still sulking, âmax.â
Heeseung didnât bother arguing. He just shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and kept walking, the stupid little smile refusing to leave his face completely.
You, meanwhile, had no idea any of that chaos had just exploded behind you. You groaned, sitting down on the couch, despising the silence that greeted you. Winter had gone to her family home for her cousinâs wedding, and Sunoo had conveniently decided to spend the night over at Hoonâs to torture him with some horror movie.Â
And you were here, unsure of what to do tonight, and the newfound interest youâd found within your exâs best friend.Â
Whatever this was, it was definitely going to be interesting.
Turns out, the night wasnât about to be boring at all. You had just gotten under the warmth of your duvet as your phone lit up, a text brightening your lock screen. Evidently, you seemed to be lurking in Heeseungâs mind as much as he had started persisting in yours.Â
Heeseung: you up?Â
You: thatâs such a fuckboy questionÂ
Heeseung: oh shit i didnt mean it that way
You: hm? whatâs it thenÂ
Heeseung: js felt like textingÂ
You clicked your tongue, rolling to your side, phone propped up against your fluffy pink pillow.Â
You: mhm sure
You: what are you doing rn then
The typing bubble popped up, disappeared, then popped up againâa proper reminder of how Heeseungâs personality shone through even through his texting patterns.Â
Heeseung: just lying in bed
Heeseung: canât sleep for some reason
A second later your phone vibrated with a picture, a selfie to be precise. It was rather cinematic how Heeseung appeared to look even prettier with dim lights, messy dark hair falling into his eyes, no shirt, just the chain he always wore catching the light. He looked way too good for someone who was just lying in bed, lips slightly parted and swollen like heâd been biting them. The angle showed the sharp line of his collarbone and that adamâs apple, a few marks evident on his skin, courtesy of you.Â
You stared for a second longer than you meant to, completely zoned in how beautiful a few marks made him look.Â
You: oh wowÂ
You: donât you look dashing at one in the morningÂ
Heeseung only let out a breathy laugh, clearly preening under your praise, as if he hadnât clicked eight pictures just so he could send you the most perfect one, in his standards at least.Â
Heeseung: your turnÂ
The corner of your lip twitched up as you sat a little, tugged the neckline of your oversized tee down just enough so the soft swell of your tits spilled over the fabric, nipples barely hidden. You angled the camera, snapped it, and hit send without overthinking, knowing that the reply would come within seconds, and so it did.Â
Heeseung: fuck
Heeseung: youâre actually evil
You laughed under your breath and sent another one right after, taking off your tee fully, letting him know how hard your nipples had gotten already.Â
You: now you. donât be shy baby
Heeseung sent back a shot of his hand shoved down his sweats, gripping himself. The outline was obvious, the tip of his cock peeking out above the waistband, flushed and already leaking. Then another oneâhis hand mid-stroke, thumb smearing the precum over the head. A low, rather shaky breath left his lips in the process, and he swore he hadnât ever been the type to be soâso evidently horny before.Â
Youâd say you bring out the worst in people, but Heeseung would contradict it with a goofy smile saying how itâs the absolute best. With that thought, he hit sent.Â
Heeseung: this is what you do to me
Your mouth went dry, the picture being enough for you to spread your legs under the duvet, only to push the duvet away entirely before angling your phone properly to ensure the slick on your cunt would be visible in the picture.Â
You: see what youâre missing?
Heeseung: jesus christ iâm actually throbbing
You bit down on your bottom lip, absolutely letting the pleasure of having Heeseung in control take over. So, instead of texting back, you tapped the voice message button and held it down.
Your voice came through low and teasing, a little breathy already.
âAw, poor baby, youâre throbbing just from a picture? Câmon, lemme hear how good it feels, hm?â
You sent it without thinking twice, and he was quick to listen, his dick twitching just as he heard your voice. A few seconds later his voice message came backâhusky, a little embarrassed, but clearly turned on.Â
âFuckâyouâre so mean,â he whispered, which almost came out as a whine, âIâm so hard it hurts. Iâm stroking it slow at first, like thisââ You could hear the faint, wet sound of his hand moving, âbut I keep thinking about how wet you looked in that last pic. Want my mouth on you so bad right now.â
You caressed your clit gently, letting your head fall back at his not so shy admissions. It was hot how he didnât shy away from speaking his mind.Â
âHmm, good boyâkeep stroking just like that. Faster now, I want to hear how desperate you sound for me. Tell me exactly what youâd do if you were here.â
His next voice message was even shakier, breathing heavier.
âIâd pull you on top of me, let you grind on my cock while you tell me how you want it. FuckâIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd suck on your tits while you ride me, make you moan my name louder, please take my name, please?â
You let out a soft, breathy moan right into your reply.
âYeah? You like when I boss you around, Heeseung? Touch yourself exactly how I would. Tighten your gripâI know youâre close already, arenât you?â
Heeseungâs voice cracked in the next voice note, barely above a whisper.
âShitâyeah, Iâm so close, your voice is driving me insane. Ah, fuck, wanna bury my face between your thighs right nowââ
You were breathing harder too, fingers moving faster. You sent one last voice message, letting your voice be sultry.Â
âThen cum for me, Hee. Let me hear it. I want you moaning my name when you do.â
That did it for him, he could barely even keep the phone in his hand, shivering at the hyper awareness of it all, of you.Â
Somehow, you knew exactly the predicament he was undergoing, and you decided to spare the poor man, hitting the call button to free his hands. He picked up after a single ring.Â
âFuckâyouâre actually perfect,â he panted, the wet sound of his hand still audible. âIâve never been this gone from just voice messages before.â
You laughed softly, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a quiet moan, âthen donât stop. Stroke it faster for me, yeah? Be good, I want to hear every sound you make while you think about fucking me.â
Heeseung groaned, clearly trying (and failing) to stay quiet because of his friends, who were in the living room. âFeels so good but itâs not enoughâI keep imagining you riding me, telling me to go harder, shit,ââ
âYouâre doing so well,â you praised, clenching around your fingers as he moans out your name, âimagine itâs my pussy instead of your hand. Iâm so fucking wet for you right now. Youâd slide in so easy, wouldnât you?â
âYeahâfuck, I would,â he whimpered, âIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd let you choke me while you ride me, I donât even care anymoreââ
You moaned louder, fingers curling just right, âyeah, yeah, just keep talking like that and Iâm gonna cum, be good câmon, youâll cum with me, yeah?â
Heeseungâs breathing turned ragged, desperate little sounds slipping out, âiâm so closeâgonnaâfuck, Y/Nââ
You came first, moaning his name all soft and filthy into the phone. He followed right after with a choked groan, trying to muffle it against his pillow but failing miserably, and god knows what would happen if Sunoo (who was there all thanks to Sunghoon) was to witness this.Â
For a long moment the only thing between you was heavy breathing.
Then Heeseung let out a soft, wrecked little laugh, making you grin lazily, âyou did so well, Hee.â
He didnât expect that, making him whine again, and you swore you could run to see him all flushed and blushing, âyouâre so perfect.â
Your breath hitched at his whispered words, gulping as you stayed silent, letting your breathing even out. He was quiet for a beat too, but his mind wasnât stopping at that.Â
âHey, uh I saw what you did earlier, in the hallway, with Mina.â
You blinked, surprised, âwait, you were there?â
âYeah. I was a little further back, but i heard everything.â His voice dropped, almost like he was in awe, âthe way you shut her down for meâdefended me like that without even thinking. It was really fucking hot. Couldnât stop thinking about it all night, thatâs why I texted you.â
You let out a low chuckle at how unpredictable he was, âso thatâs the real reason you were sending me nudes and moaning my name like a desperate little slut at one a.m., huh?â
If praises led Heeseung to moan, the degradation caused him to cryânot in a bad way of course. It was new for him too, as if he was learning about himself through you. And the voice you heard was beautiful, a broken cry of his desperation.Â
âI see youâre into degradation,â you pointed out.Â
âFucking hell, even I didnât know,â he breathed out, eyes closing.Â
You only smirked, getting closer to the phone now.
âWanna test how it plays out?â
âWhy the fuck did Hoon just tell me youâre fucking Heeseung?âÂ
It was rather hard to distinguish his tone when he sounded both impressed and mad. Turns out, he was mad since he didnât hear it from you first, then, he was impressed with how fast you moved on. Regardless, he didnât let you live that down, trying to force the group together, only to see Heeseung squirming and you being absolutely normal.Â
You were sitting cross-legged on your bed, still in the oversized hoodie youâd thrown on after your morning shower, when Sunoo burst through the door, Winter followed, sipping an iced latte and looking far too amused for someone who was supposed to be your emotional support. And so another interrogation session took place, which you survived (somehow).Â
Other than that, things had been normal. A few changes did occur such as you all having lunch together, even Winter invited her girlfriend, making the group seem livelier than ever. Jake made it his mission to sit next to you each time, and Heeseungâwell, he stared at you more than he ate.Â
That pattern followed you straight into your English lecture later that afternoon. You slipped into your usual seat in the middle row, barely five minutes late, when Riki dropped into the chair right beside you, and you looked up at him, surprised.Â
Heeseung walked in later, eyes on how you greeted the guy easily, and with that, he almost walked into someone. He could only manage to groan, because why wouldnât you talk to him? To be fair, you did talk to him, like a friend, but never more, no initiation of any sort. Heeseung was the one who texted first, and he didnât mind, but with how soft hearted he was, he probably wouldnât mind you texting first either.Â
That being said, Heeseung was basically sulk incarnate watching how you made plans to give Riki a coffee for some reasonâwas it a date? Why would you even like that tall kid? Heeseung knew you better despite the little time he spent with you. It was a given that you didnât offer much about yourself despite your outgoing personality, but he did know how you played with your nails, how your eyes go wide when you eat something good, and how fucking good you sound moaning his name.Â
âWeâre all going to the cafe,â Sunoo chirped the second you stepped outside after the class, Heeseung following behind to see all his friends standing there too.Â
You did find it odd how he was silent today, too silent, even worse when he didnât try to initiate any conversation with you, just falling into step with his friends instead. His hands were shoved deep in his hoodie pockets, shoulders a little hunched as the group started moving.
Halfway there he slowed down just enough to tug Jayâs sleeve, voice low and trying way too hard to sound casual, âHey, can you do me a favour?â
Jay only raised his brow, urging him to continue, âuh, so when we sit down, maybe ask Y/N something thatâll get her talking, like the stuff going on in her life, just anything.â
Jay stopped dead for half a second, then let out a loud, wheezing laugh that practically bounced off the buildings. The sound was so sudden and genuine that you actually turned around mid-conversation with Karina and Winter, eyebrows raised like you were trying to figure out what was so funny. Jay just waved you off, still cracking up as he clapped Heeseung on the back a little too hard.
âYouâre actually hopeless,â Jay wheezed, trying to keep his voice down but failing miserably, âjust talk to her yourself, what the fuck.â
Heeseung shoved him off, cheeks hot, âshut up, man. Justâjust do it, okay? Please.â
Jay sat there as a witness to Heeseungâs internal breakdown, and well, happiness caused by two seconds of your undivided attention. In the midst of it all, everyone gave their orders, famished beyond words for some reason. The table was lively still, Jake trying to initiate conversations with you, even though Heeseung had not so subtly kicked him under the table to shut him up.Â
Jay waited until there was a small lull, then leaned forward with that lazy grin of his.
âSo Y/N,â he said casually, like it was no big deal, âwhatâs the deal with you and Heeseung lately? You two been hanging out a lot or what? Heâs been weirdly smiley these days.â
Heeseungâs heart did a stupid little flip, face clearly trying to play it cool, but his eyes were glued to you, waiting.
You took a sip of your drink and shrugged, knowing that if you say anything remotely wrong, Sunoo and Winter would be on your ass about it, âitâs nice hanging out with him, heâs funny.â
Jay snorted at how Heeseungâs smile widened, âfunny, huh? Thatâs all youâre giving us?â
Before you could answer, Jake jumped in, mouth full of his cup ramen, which he somehow got into the cafe, âgod, I shouldnât have gotten Shin, Iâm telling you, nothing beats Buldak. You team Buldak too, Y/N?â
Jake immediately turned to you with those big puppy eyes, âcâmon, tell him heâs wrong. Buldak or nothing, right?â
Sunoo and Sunghoon couldnât even stand this, staring at Jake with the same expression of disgust, his fascination for you was genuinely funny.Â
You looked up at Hee, who waited for your answer with shiny eyes, then back at Jake again. Maybe teasing Heeseung wouldnât hurt, right? Especially when he looked so innocent and serious about your input as if it mattered.Â
âI mean, Buldak is definitely good,â you agreed with Jake, taking another sip of your mango matcha.Â
Jake beamed at the reply, bumping your shoulder. But Heeseungâs smile faltered for a second, and you almost frowned, not expecting him to surrender, âyeah, fair enough,â he muttered, staying silent the rest of the time, eyes flicking up to you every few seconds, while you observed him openly.
Jay only sighed, and somehow Winter was just as exhausted at the exchange, because Heeseung couldnât hide his feelings to save his life, and you?
You were missing the point of this little conversation entirely.Â
When everyone finally started packing up for their next lectures, the group split off in different directions. You noticed Heeseung hanging back a little, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders still hunched as he walked alone. With a chuckle, you jogged a couple steps, and grabbed his hand.
Heeseung startled hard, eyes going wide as he looked down at your fingers laced with his, and how perfect your new acrylics looked, the touch being enough to make a shiver go up his spine, âY/Nâ?â
You only walked further, swinging your joined hands, âwhy so silent today?â You asked, looking up at him with a brow raised.Â
He let out a small breath, eyes flickering back to where your thumb brushed his knuckles, âitâs nothing, just thinking I guess.â
âHm, about how I picked Buldak over Shin?â You tilted your head, âyou got all quiet after that. Kinda cute, actually.â
Heeseung glanced away, the corner of his mouth twitching despite himself, âItâs not that, but Jake looked happy, soâyeah.â
âShinâs my favourite actually, I only said Buldak to see you fight back, but yeah,â you shrugged with a smile.Â
Heeseungâs head snapped back toward you, surprised, âwait, really?â
Heeseungâs steps slowed at the implication, and it showed on his face, mixed with the fondness of the simple fact that you noticed such little things. He wasnât the kind of guy who needed grand gestures, yes heâd appreciate it, but the little things mattered more.Â
âYouânoticed that?â He asked quietly, almost shy.
You hummed, then leaned up on your toes, lips brushing the shell of his ear, âyou can eat something else too if you want.â
That sent him into this mode of short circuiting, and before he could even form a reply, you let go of his hand with a bright, mischievous laugh and took off running ahead across the path, glancing back at him over your shoulder with that same playful grin.
Heeseung stood there for half a second, face burning, your words looping in his head like a damn song on repeat. Then a big, flustered smile broke across his face and he took off after you, knowing heâd catch up to you in no time.Â
âFuck,â he yelled, half-laughing as he chased you down the walkway, âyou canât just say that and runâget back here!â
He really hoped it could always stay this easy with you.
You fell on your mattress with a thud, the springs creaking under the sudden weight of both of you. Heeseung landed right on top, chest pressed to yours, mouth already chasing yours in a hungry, desperate kiss that tasted like the faint strawberry from his drink earlier.Â
His lips were hot and insistent, tongue sliding against yours like he couldnât get close enough, letting out every bit of his frustration into this kiss. One of his hands shoved under your hoodie and straight into your shorts, two fingers gliding through your slick folds before pushing inside you without hesitation. You gasped into his mouth, thighs falling open wider as he curled them deep, stroking that spot that made your back arch clean off the bed.
âFuck, youâre soaked,â he breathed against your lips, and you only sank in further, kissing all the way down to his neck, letting an open mouthed kiss linger on his adamâs apple, feeling it blobbing under you as he gulped in need, as if parched.Â
Heeseung let out a shaky groan, fingers stuttering inside you for a second before he doubled down, thrusting them deeper, curling harder, âshitâyouâre gonna make me lose it just from that.â
You smiled against his throat, sucking lightly, then dragged your teeth over the same spot while your hand kept working his cock in slow, tight strokes. He was throbbing in your palm, hot and slick with precum, hips twitching every time your thumb swept over the head, and you almost moaned cause he was big.Â
But it wasnât enough, you wanted him under you, wanted to watch him fall apart.
You pushed at his chest, flipping him onto his back in one smooth motion. Heeseung let out a surprised grunt as you straddled his thighs, yanking his pants and boxers down just far enough. His cock sprang free, flushed dark and glistening, curving up against his stomach.
Wrapping your fingers around his base as you leaned in to give his tip a slow kiss, making him moan shamelessly, âwaitâyou donât have to,â he managed to let out.Â
You looked up at him, lips brushing the wet slit as you spoke, âI know, I want to,â you whispered, âbeen thinking about having you in my mouth since you were sulking on the way here, just to apologize, yâknow?â
Instead of answering, you took him in, lips stretching around the thick head, tongue pressing flat against the underside as you sank down. The taste of him filled your mouth, salty and warm, and you moaned softly around his length.
âShitâbaby,â Heeseungâs hand flew to your hair, holding on like he needed something to ground him, his thighs tensing under you, âyour mouth feelsâso fucking good.â
You hummed in response, taking him deeper until he bumped the back of your throat. You relaxed around him, swallowing, and he let out a broken groan, hips twitching up before he caught himself.
âSorryâgosh I didnât mean to,â he whispered.Â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips shiny, a thin string of spit still connecting you to him, âdonât apologize. Fuck my throat if you want to.â You stroked him slow and firm, eyes locked on his, âI can take it, I want you to use me.â
Heeseungâs eyes darkened. Heâd never done this before, sure heâd gotten blowjobs, but the permission to take in full control of it? Oh, he swore he was gonna die, âyouâre gonna kill me saying shit like that.â
You chuckled and sank back down, taking him all the way until your nose brushed his stomach. You held there for a second, throat fluttering around him, before you started moving, wet bobs of your head, hand twisting around the base.
Heeseungâs head fell back against the pillow, a wrecked moan spilling out, âfuck, fuckâoh my god.â His fingers tightened in your hair, not forcing, but guiding you a little now, testing the waters, âyou like this? Being on your knees for me?â
You moaned around him in answer, the vibration making his hips jerk. You pulled off with a gasp, spit dripping down your chin, âI like when you stop being so polite and just take what you want.â You licked a slow stripe up the underside, eyes never leaving his, âyouâre always so sweet, Hee, but i also know how desperate you are, wonât you show it to me like a good fucking boy?â
Heeseungâs breath stuttered, it was almost like a switch flipping. His grip in your hair tightened just a fraction more, and when you took him back in, he let himself thrust up a little, shallow and careful at first.
âLike this?â He asked, voice strained, âtell me if itâs too much.â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips brushing the head, âHarder, I can take it. Use my throat, baby.â
The words seemed to break something in him. He groaned deep in his chest and started moving his hips with more purpose, fucking into your mouth in short, needy thrusts. You relaxed your throat and let him, moaning encouragement around his cock every time he pushed deeper.
âFuck, fuckâyouâre so good,â he panted, voice cracking, âso fucking good at this. Look at youâtaking me so deep.â His free hand came down to cup your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek while he watched himself disappear between your lips, âI didnât know I liked this so much, watching you choke on me.â
You moaned louder, the praise and the way he was starting to lose control making heat flood between your legs. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking harder, and Heeseungâs head tipped back again, a string of curses falling from his lips.
âBabyâslow down or Iâm gonna cum,â he warned, but his hips kept moving, like he couldnât stop himself, âyouâre really gonna let me cum down your throat?â
You pulled off with a wet pop, stroking him fast and tight, lips hovering just over the tip, âlet me taste you.â
Heeseungâs eyes rolled back as he came with a broken moan of your name, hips jerking as he spilled down your throat in hot pulses. You swallowed every drop, working him through it until he was trembling and oversensitive, little whimpers slipping out every time your tongue moved.
When you finally pulled off, lips swollen and shiny, Heeseung was staring at you like youâd rewired his brain. His chest was heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes dark and hazy.
âJesus Christ,â he whispered, voice shot, âI didnât know I could like something that much.â
You wiped the corner of your mouth with your thumb, smirking as you crawled up his body and kissed him slowly, letting him taste himself on your tongue.
âYouâre learning fast,â you murmured against his lips. âand weâre just getting started.â
So, you were true to your word, because by the time you both stopped, all breathless and spent, it was nighttime. In the midst of everything, you both had managed to fall asleep tangled with each other. Heeseung was the one to wake up first, caressing your cheek as he stared at how peacefully you slept in his arms.Â
He stayed like that for a long minute, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek, watching the way your lashes rested against your skin. Something heavy settled in his chestânot regret exactly, but a quiet, gnawing guilt that refused to leave him alone.
Carefully, he slipped out from under you, tucking the blanket around your bare shoulders so you wouldnât get cold. He padded over to the window on quiet feet, pushing the curtain aside just enough to look out at the dark sky. The campus lights glowed faintly in the distance, stars barely visible through the city haze.
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the cool glass, exhaling slowly. What the fuck am I doing? The thought looped in his head. Heâd loved Minaâor at least heâd told himself he did. Theyâd been together for over a year. But even on the best nights with her, heâd never felt thisâfree, this wanted. With you, you didnât ask him to be anything other than exactly who he was in the moment, needy, desperate, a little mean when you pushed him, soft when you let him hold you after. Just a hint of your attention made his chest feel too full and that scared the shit out of him.
Because heâd sworn he loved Mina. But this? He wasnât even sure what to name this feeling anymore, and it felt dramatic when nothing had even happened, just freedom and the best pleasure heâd ever experienced.Â
The floor creaked softly behind him, making him turn his head to find you sitting up in bed now, hair messy, eyes still heavy with sleep. Without saying anything, you reached for his hoodie that had been tossed on the floor earlier and pulled it over your head. It swallowed you, the hem brushing your thighs as you padded over barefoot to stand beside him.
You leaned your shoulder against the window frame, looking out at the same dark sky. For a moment neither of you spoke.
âYou okay?â You asked eventually, voice soft.
Heeseung, however, was in deep thoughts of silent appreciation, because you looked beautiful, you always did, âyeah,â he let out a quiet breath, âI feel like an asshole for even saying this out loud, butâI donât remember it ever feeling this easy with Mina, even when things were good. With you itâs just different. Like I donât have to pretend or hold back or be anyone else. I donât know. That probably sounds stupid.â
You stayed quiet for a second, then bumped your shoulder gently against his, âit doesnât sound stupid. Youâre allowed to feel whatever you feel, Hee, itâs valid. You donât owe her anything anymore, and you donât owe me some perfect version of yourself either, okay?â
âYouâre too nice to me,â he mumbled.Â
You smiled, looking elsewhere for a moment as you gulped, âthatâs what friends are for,â you let out.Â
Heeseung turned to look at you fully, friends, is that what you were? Because friends donât do all this. So, Heeseung only managed to muster one question, hoping the reply would be enough of an action to understand if he was truly alone in this or not.
âCan I kiss you?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper with the hope to earn even something as little as a nod.Â
This means something more, you thought. This isnât just sex anymore, not for him. Truly, Heeseung wasnât even the kind to do this, so why did he agree to this? You wouldnât mind being a rebound for him but him getting attached would be a problem. Would it really, though? You shouldâve said no, but you found yourself being entranced by the beauty in his eyes.Â
So, instead you stepped closer, sliding your hands up his bare chest, and tilted your face up to his, âyeah,â you whispered, âyou can.â
Heeseungâs breath caught as he cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks like you were something fragile, slotting his lips onto yours almost achingly gentle, this almost felt like a question and an answer all at once to him.Â
When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he let out a shaky little laugh, pecking the corner of your mouth once.Â
The reflection on the window catching on everything you both were too afraid to admit.Â
Honestly, the fault was yours for not discussing the boundaries or making one of those contracts like they do in the movies or books (though they never work), cause now, you and Heeseung had been hanging around way more often, some witnesses might even confuse this intimacy for dating.Â
Maybe Heeseung was one of them, because when he texted you to come over, you half expected sex, not sitting alongside him learning League of legends at two in the morning. He was unpredictable to say the least, but he did wear his heart on his sleeve, so you could see the bits and pieces of the things he craved, and right now, he craved your time.Â
You didnât mind giving it to him, but it did come with a cost. The second you walked into the room, eyes widening at this small corner of the desk where a mango matcha, a few blue walkers, and a pack of Ferrero Rocher was placed neatly, alongside two packets of cup noodles (just in case).Â
To Heeseung, it was normal, and you would have agreed had it been some synonym of aftercare, but no. It was just Heeseung being absolutely willing (and needing) to spend more time with you outside of your fancy little arrangement.Â
He had opened the door with a smile so contagious, you mirrored it as he led you inside. A small corner of his desk was full of snacks, a cup of matcha which he knew was your favourite, a couple of Ferrero Rochers because he saw you eating those during the English lecture. You stood there for a second longer than intended, staring at it all, then at the man who had already made himself comfortable on the spare chair, waiting for you with the same gentle smile he always carried around you, making you gulp for a second before you returned it.Â
âCâmere? Sit with me,â he said, patting his main gaming chair right next to him, and he half expected you to tease him for doing this, âI swear Iâm not trying to be weird, and if you donât wanna do this we can stop, or you can make fun of me.â
You let out a quiet huff of a laugh and kicked your shoes off before sliding into the chair beside him. Your knee bumped his under the desk and you left it there, the contact warm even through your clothes. Heeseung rolled his own chair closer right away, leaning in from behind you so his chest brushed lightly against your back, one arm resting along the back of your seat while the other reached around to the mouse, and you didnât notice how he took in your scent with a dreamy sigh.Â
âWeâre playing League of Legends?â You asked, and he nodded.Â
âHave you played it before?â He asked a little hesitant that youâd say you donât wish to play or indulge in this.Â
âNope,â you said, reaching for the matcha because your mouth suddenly felt dry. The cup was ice-cold, condensation dripping down your fingers as you took a sip, âIâm probably gonna suck at this, just so you know.â
Heeseung let out a small laugh, relieved that you arenât opposed to this, âthatâs fine, we can start from the basics,â he covered your hand with his on the mouse, guiding you through the first clicks. âYou just run at people and spin when they get close. Super easy, I promise.â
His fingers were warm over yours, almost careful like he was scared youâd pull away. You felt the way his chest moved against your back when he breathed, the faint brush of his hair against your neck every time he leaned in a little closer to see the screen better.
You clicked around awkwardly and Garen just kind ofâstood there swinging his sword at nothing, âthis feels dumb,â you muttered, but you were smiling a little, âI look like a robot trying to dance.â
Heeseung bit his bottom lip at the sheer joy of having you play his favourite game, even though you looked lost, confused, and too adorable, âyou donât look dumb. You look cute as hell trying to figure it out.â He squeezed your hand gently and moved the mouse for you, making Garen run forward. âSee? Just click on this, okay?â
You tried it and Garen spun like a big metal tornado, actually hitting a couple of the little enemy guys, âoh okay, that was kinda fun,â you admitted, biting your lip to hide the grin. You reached for one of the Ferrero Rochers with your free hand, unwrapped it, and popped it in your mouth. The chocolate melted sweet and crunchy on your tongue, âhowâd you know I like this.â
Heeseung shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against yours, âI pay attention to you, sue me.â He took the half you offered him without hesitation, biting it right from your fingers, his lips brushing your skin for a second too long.
You rolled your eyes but couldnât stop the little flutter in your stomach at how brutally honest he was. He pays attention, he set all this up just so youâd feel comfortable doing something he likes. This isnât what you signed up for, this is him wanting you around, not just in his bed. Stop feeling it. Stop.
The game kept going, as you died a bunchârunning straight into the big tower like an idiot, getting smacked by random enemiesâbut Heeseung never made you feel stupid about it. Heâd just lean in closer, chin resting on your shoulder now, arm wrapped a little tighter around the back of your chair, and murmur stuff like, âtry backing up a tiny bit next time, yeah?â Or, âyouâre getting the spin down though, that last one actually hit three of them, nice.â
You passed him chips from the blue walkers packet, your fingers brushing his every time. He took them without pulling away, crunching quietly while his other hand stayed on the mouse with yours, guiding you through another wave.
Heeseung couldnât say this out loud but boy was he thrilled. It felt so nice, so domestic to do something so simple with someone (you). He couldnât help but compare, simply because he didnât know the basic possibilities of the relationship universe, though you werenât in one. His ex never spared time for such things, indifferent about his interests, while you were soâsweet.Â
âYouâve done this before? Teaching someone like this, I mean?â You asked after a while, âor am I getting special treatment?â
Heeseung went quiet for a second, then let out a breathy little laugh against your neck, âspecial treatment,â he admitted, no hesitation, âand no, itâs my first time teaching anyone.â
You leaned back into him a little more without thinking, the warmth of his chest solid and comforting against your back, the kind of solace that you had never had the pleasure of experiencing before. Was it supposed to be this easy?Â
The snacks slowly disappeared between youâanother Ferrero passed back and forth, the mango matcha cup getting lighter with every sip you took. Heeseung kept talking about random shit that had nothing to do with the game. How Jake had stolen his last ramen again, how he stayed up last night thinking about if aliens eat solid food, or if the Thestrals from Harry Potter can see each other or not.Â
You told him about the fanpage you had at fifteen, he listened like it was the most interesting thing ever, thumb stroking slow circles on the back of your hand the whole time.
At some point the first game ended. You were still pretty bad, but you werenât frustrated anymore. Heeseungâs arm had stayed around you the whole time, his chin heavy on your shoulder, breathing warm against your skin.
He didnât queue another match right away, instead he just sat there for a second, arms loose around your waist, like he was thinking.
âCâmere,â he murmured, voice a little rough as his hands slid to your hips and he tugged you gently, pulling you straight off the spare chair and into his lap like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your back settled fully against his chest, thighs bracketing his, his arms wrapping around you properly so he could still reach everything if he wanted. The chair creaked once under both of you. You fit too well, way too well.
He rested his chin back on your shoulder and clicked into another custom game like nothing had changed, but his arms stayed tight around your waist, like he didnât want to let go.
âWhat are we doing, Hee?â You asked in a low mumble.Â
Heeseung went still, arms locking tighter around your waist like the question had burned him, he was afraid youâd bring it up and thatâs exactly what you did. You felt him swallow hard, breath shaky against your neck.
He opted to answer with his actions instead, turning your face toward him with one hand and kissing you, lips pressing firm like heâd been dying to do it. His tongue slid in right away, tasting like chocolate and the mango youâd been sharing all night. He made this quiet, embarrassed little sound in his throat and kissed you harder, fingers sliding into your hair to hold you there.
You tried to pull back half an inch, though absolutely feeling your heartbeat fastening at how good the kiss, the warmth felt, âHee, waitââ
He chased your mouth instantly, cutting you off with another kiss, deeper this time, tongue lazy and filthy against yours. His hand slipped under your top, palm hot and a little unsteady on your bare waist, thumb stroking slow circles like he needed to feel your skin to stay sane. He was breathing hard through his nose, cheeks burning against yours, but he wouldnât let you speak. Every single time your lips parted he was right there again, kissing you quiet, desperate and messy like talking would ruin whatever this was.
âBed,â he mumbled against your mouth. He stood up with you still in his lap, hands under your thighs, and carried you the few steps across the room. The second your back hit the mattress he was on top of you, settling between your legs and kissing you again before you could even breathe.
This time it was slower but no less intense. His tongue moved against yours in these long, deep strokes while one hand pushed further under your top, palm flat on your stomach, sliding up until his fingers brushed the edge of your bra. His other hand stayed tangled in your hair, tugging gently every time you tried to talk. He was so fucking flusteredâears red, breath shaky, little embarrassed groans slipping out whenever you rolled your hips up into himâbut he still wouldnât let you ask.
Every time you opened your mouth he swallowed it with another kiss, and you groaned, pulling him into you deeper, letting him showcase his feelings through whatever this was, and you understood it, but couldnât stop it or ask any further, because you knew heâd deflect as if it scared him.Â
As if the only answer he could give was this.
You were decent at saying no, in fact, some might even admit how good you were at it, blunt as fuck. But that ability was limited to the world and it most certainly didnât apply to this glorious six foot tall man who wished for you to join him at the basketball court. You could have made up some excuse, maybe tell him you have a lab report due, but you didnât do thatâbecause you wanted to go.Â
âThis is getting ridiculous,â said Winter, watching you change into a loose t-shirt and old shorts, âyou hate sports. You once told me basketball was just a bunch of giants running in circles. Now youâre rushing out at night because Heeseung said come watch me play? And youâre dressing up the part too?â
You shrugged, tying your hair up, âItâs not that deep. Iâm bored.â
âSure, tell yourself that,â she mumbled with her brow raised.Â
Well, she wasnât exactly wrong, but you didnât care much as you made your way out towards the court which was lit up by some harsh floodlights, looking over to find some guys already deep in the game. You could spot Heeseung, Chenle, Beomgyu, and Sunghoonât-shirts sticking to their backs.Â
Nics (Chenleâs girlfriend) and Moon (Sunghoonâs girlfriend) were already on the bleachers with their chaotic friend, Ricey, who always carried snacks in her bag. The second they spotted you, Nics waved you over with a grin, patting the spot next to her.Â
Heeseung was mid-dribble when his head snapped in your direction, the ball bouncing once before he caught it against his hip. Even from across the court you could see the way his face softened, that small, stupidly genuine smile breaking through like usual. He lifted his free hand in a quick wave.Â
âYo, Y/Nâs here!â Chenle shouted, grinning like an idiot as he wiped sweat off his forehead with the hem of his shirt, âperfect timing, letâs do girls versus boys now.â
Nics hopped off the bleachers first, already pulling her hair up, âfinal-fucking-ly. Come on, weâre making this four on four.â
Moon laughed and stood up too, nudging Ricey, âyou in or are you just gonna sit there eating chips the whole time?â
Ricey popped another chip in her mouth before standing, âIâm in, but if I break a nail Iâm blaming all of you.â
You didnât get a chance to sit as you got dragged into the court. Heeseung jogged over to you, still breathing a little hard, hair messy and damp. Up close he smelled like sweat and that familiar woody cologne, and the way he looked at you made you shiver.Â
âYou actually came,â he breathed, grabbing your arm without thinking much at all.Â
âCouldnât let you embarrass yourself alone,â you replied, stealing the ball from his hands just to mess with him. He laughed, eyes crinkling, and for a second it felt like the rest of the court disappeared.
But boy was it chaotic with Moon just distracting Hoon half the time, Nics and Chenle spent the time arguingâwhich was clearly their way of flirting, meanwhile Ricey was enjoying the drama in the middle of this all. The game was messy, and oh so loud.
You mostly ended up guarding Heeseung, and he was clearly not focused on winning anymore.
The first time you drove past him, he barely tried to block you, just let you slip by with this stupid little smile on his face. When you scored, he was the first one clapping, muttering under his breath, âfuck, that was hot,â loud enough for Beomgyu to hear and immediately start laughing.
âYouâre not even guarding her properly!â Sunghoon yelled, hands on his knees, âyou just watched her score and looked proud as hell!â
Heeseung didnât even deny it, just shrugged, eyes still locked on you as you dribbled back.Â
âSheâs fast,â he said, but the way he said it was way too soft, and he wondered why he called you with others around when he shouldâve done this one on one, but even then, he was thrilled to see you fit in so well with everyone.Â
The court lights hummed overhead, casting long shadows across the cracked asphalt, your oversized t-shirt clung to your skin in damp patches, the thin cotton sticking to the curve of your waist and the small of your back every time you moved. Heeseungâs eyes kept dropping to where the hem rode up every time you moved, and honestly? You liked it.
You caught the ball again and drove straight at him. This time his hand found your waist right away, palm warm through the damp fabric, thumb brushing under the hem like he couldnât help himself. You spun past anyway, shoulder bumping his chest, and laid it up clean. When you landed he was still there, fingers lingering on your hip for a second longer than necessary.
âShit, youâre good,â he muttered by your ear.
Beomgyu groaned loud enough for everyone to hear, âHeeseung, your hand was literally on her the whole time!â
Sunghoon just shook his head, âI canât watch this anymore.â
A few plays later you slowed right in front of him, dribbling lazy, then hit him with the poutâbottom lip out, eyes big. Heeseungâs shoulders dropped instantly, âcome on, thatâs cheating,â he whined, but he was already stepping aside, hand sliding to your hip again as you blew past and scored.
Ricey started cracking up from the fence. âHe folded. Letâs fucking go!â
Nics and Moon were dying, âY/N, youâre actually evil,â Moon yelled, âlikeâlook at him.â
The game kept going like that, every time you got near him his hands were on your waist or lower back, like he needed the excuse to touch you. After one layup he caught you around the middle when you landed, pulling you back against his chest for a second, chin brushing your shoulder.
âYouâre killing me out here,â he said quietly, thumb rubbing slow against your side.
You turned your head, âstop letting me win so obviously.â
âCanât,â he admitted, fingers flexing on your hip, âcanât stop you.â
Final possession got you dribbling right up to him. He stepped up, but the second you gave him the pout he let out a soft laugh and just gave up, both hands settling on your waist.
âGo win, baby,â he whispered, not even trying to hide it anymore as you drove and laid it in clean.
Game over.
Nics scooped you up spinning you once while Moon and Ricey cheered like idiots. The second your feet hit the ground Heeseung was there, arm sliding around your waist and pulling you back against him. His t-shirt was damp against yours, heartbeat steady on your back.
âYouâre impossible,â he murmured into your hair, thumb still tracing slow circles on your hip under the hem, âdidnât even wanna stop you.â
You leaned into him, grinning, âyou had your hands on me the whole second half.â
âYeah,â he said, no shame at all, âfelt too good.â
Heeseung didnât get to talk more as a fuming Chenle grabbed his collar and dragged him away for what seemed to be some good beating.Â
Moon and Nics immediately grabbed your arms at the opportunity and pulled you a few steps away, cornering you near the fence while Heeseung was distracted talking (arguing) to Chenle.
âOkay, spill,â Moon said, âwhat the hell is going on with you two? Because that was not subtle.â
Nics nodded, still half-laughing, âgirl, he had his hands on your waist like every single play. Heâs so into you itâs actually funny.â
You tried to play it cool, wiping sweat off your neck with the bottom of your shirt, âItâs not like that. Weâre justâhanging out? No strings, yâknow?â
They waited for you to say youâre joking, or just laugh, but then none of it came and they gasped, collectively.Â
âYouâre not serious,â Moon deadpanned.Â
Nicsâ eyes went huge, âwait. Youâre actually serious.â
Ricey let out a low whistle, leaning against the fence, âdamn, Y/N. I thought you were messing with us.â
You shrugged, trying to laugh it off, but the sound came out rather shaky. Your stomach did that stupid little flip again, like your body was calling you a liar before your mouth could. The cool night air on your damp neck suddenly felt too cold, and your t-shirt clung uncomfortably to your skin, âI mean, yeah, thatâs the deal. We both said it from the start.â
The words felt flat even as you said them. Your eyes drifted across the court before you could stop yourself. Chenle still had Heeseung in that dramatic headlock, ranting about how embarrassing he was, but Heeseung wasnât even pretending to fight back. His head turned and his gaze found yours instantly through the mess of hair falling in his face. That soft, stupid little smile tugged at his lips like getting chewed out didnât matter at all. Just you did.
Your chest squeezed as you looked away, but Moon followed your stare and let out a quiet oh, âgirl, look at him right now. Heâs getting yelled at and heâs still staring at you like that? Come on.â
Nics nudged your side. âhe had his hands on your waist literally every single time you got near him. Called you baby in front of all of us. Folded like a lawn chair the second you pouted. Thatâs a man catching feelings and not even trying to hide it.â
Ricey nodded, arms crossed, âfor real. We were all watching, he was playing how many times can I touch my girl without getting called out.â
You swallowed, heat creeping up your neck that had nothing to do with the game anymore, âItâs not like that,â you mumbled but even you could hear how unsure you sounded. The way Heeseung was still looking at you made the label feel thinner than your sweaty t-shirt.
Before anyone could push harder, Chenle finally shoved Heeseung away with one last groan. Heeseung jogged back over, hair wrecked, cheeks flushed, but his eyes were already locked on you again. His arm slid around your waist without hesitation, palm warm and familiar against the damp fabric like it was the most natural thing in the world.
âYou guys done roasting her yet?â He asked, voice light and a little out of breath.Â
Ricey snorted, ânot even close.â
Heeseung just grinned and pulled you closer, chin brushing the top of your head. You leaned into him without thinking, the solid warmth of his side against yours making that chest-tight feeling even worse. Or better, you couldnât tell anymore.
Your newfound friends exchanged a look behind his back, but you caught it anyway.
Whatever this wasâit didnât feel like no strings anymore. Not even a little.
Heeseung always thought that his partner would an extension of his very soul, and he never achieved that. Maybe the saying can be moulded into perspectives of sort, perhaps connection wasnât about mirroring souls but about finding someone who made the fractures feel intentional, beautiful even.
He mindlessly knocked on the door, heart drumming an uneven rhythm against his ribs, not expecting the door to open so quickly, his breath hitching at the sight of you in front of him.Â
Maybe your partner isnât supposed to be an extension of you, but rather someone whoâd stand on the opposite side of the spectrum and still look like a perfect puzzle when fitted together.Â
You stood there like a living poem rendered in silkâclad in a breathtaking white gown that slipped over your skin with liquid grace, the delicate fabric catching the hallwayâs muted glow, the thin straps tracing the delicate architecture of your collarbones like a loverâs fingertip. It moved with you, shimmering faintly, alive with every subtle shift of your weight. Your hair styled perfectly, lips glossed to a tempting sheen, and the whole vision struck him so viscerally that the air in his lungs simply vanished.
You looked beautiful, like an angel in all white, while he stood in front of you in a black leather jacket, juxtaposing every bit of elegance you exuded.Â
Heeseung forgot how to breathe quite literally as time fractured around him. His gaze dragged over you in helpless reverence, while a razor-edged thought sliced through the haze. Are you going out? On a date? With someone else? The image of another manâs eyes tracing that same silk, another hand brushing the curve of your waist beneath it, coiled hot and ugly in his chest, stealing what little breath he had left.
âHee?â You asked with a smile, tilting your head with genuine surprise, âwhat are you doing here?â
He gulped, forcing his eyes back up and oxygen to cooperate within him, âyouâre breathtaking,â he managed, âI forgot what I came for.â
Warmth crept up your neck at the nervousness of the man in front of you, he was adorableâshifting from one leg to the other, playing with his fingers, as if the simple act of standing there might unravel him completely. His dark hair fell messily over his forehead, cheeks flushed a soft rose, and those wide, doe-like eyes kept flicking back to the silk clinging to your body. You could practically feel the rapid thud of his heartbeat from where you stood, the way his throat worked on another swallow, the subtle tremor in his shoulders as he tried (and failed) to play it cool.
âI, uhââ Heeseung rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a small, embarrassed laugh, âI wanted to show you something. Iâve been carrying it around all day like an idiot because I thought you might like it. Figured tonight could be, I donât know, nice? Just us.â
Your heart gave a small tug, the evening plans youâd been dreading now sitting like a weight in your chest, âgod, HeeâI wish I could,â you said softly, âmy parents are in town and we have this family dinner thing tonight. Itâs one of those non-negotiable things. I was literally about to walk out the door when you knocked.â
Heeseungâs shoulders dropped just a fraction, disappointment flickering across his face before he quickly tried to smooth it over. He nodded, offering you a small, understanding smile that didnât quite reach his eyes, though he was relieved it wasnât a boy youâd dressed up for, âno, gosh. Itâs okay, I hope you have fun.â
He paused, eyes still lingering on you like he couldnât help it, âbutâif youâre not too tired later, maybe we could still meet up? Even if itâs just for a little while. No pressure or anything, I justâI really like being around you.â
All you could manage was a nod, making him smile wider. It was always a surprise at how clearly Heeseung said whatever he meant, and it wasnât the best thing for your poor heart, which probably matched Heeseungâs pace now. Bidding goodbye was another problem especially when Heeseung stared till you got inside the cab. The dinner was a haze, your mom staring at your zoned out state with a knowing smile.Â
âWho is it?â She sighed finally, making you look up in horror.Â
âMomâno,â you warned, knowing just how interested your family was in gossiping, which didnât exclude gossip about you by any means.Â
âWhat? She laughed, feigning innocence while your dad hid his grin behind his water glass, âIâm just asking. Youâve been smiling at nothing and zoning out all night, now spill.â
Your cousin leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief, âyeah, girl. You look like youâre thinking about someone. Is he cute? Does he go to your uni?â
Heat flooded your cheeks, âthereâs no one,â you lied, though the words felt flimsy even to you, âIâm just tired.â
Your mom reached over and squeezed your wrist gently, âmhm, sure. Whoever he is, heâs lucky if heâs got you looking like this. Just donât forget to eat, okay? Youâre glowing, but youâre also not touching your food.â
You groaned, covering your face with both hands as the table erupted into light laughter. The teasing continued with your dad throwing in a dramatic âIf he hurts you, Iâll find himâ that made everyone chuckleâbut you managed to dodge the worst of it, cheeks burning the whole time. By the time dessert came, your family had mercifully moved on, though your momâs knowing glances never quite stopped.
Meanwhile, Heeseung stood alone on the rooftop of the main university building, the cool night breeze slipping beneath the collar of his leather jacket and ruffling his dark hair. Heâd quietly borrowed the keys from the maintenance office earlierâsomething he wasnât proud of, but tonight the small rebellion felt worth it. Up here, the view was stunning. City lights stretched out below like scattered diamonds across black velvet, the crescent moon hung low, casting a silvery glow over everything. He slipped an airpod in, letting his playlist fill the silence.Â
His hand drifted to the inner pocket of his jacket, fingers brushing the carefully wrapped item inside. Heâd wanted to show it to you tonight, watch your face light up, maybe steal a few more stolen moments of that easy warmth you gave him so effortlessly.
Heeseung leaned against the railing, staring out at the glittering skyline while the music in his earpods played on, and he wondered if you were thinking about him too, somewhere across town amid the family dinner. He didnât mind waiting, in fact, he was good at it when it meant so much to him. Regardless, every couple of minutes heâd glance at the door, half-convinced he was being ridiculous for waiting up here like some lovesick idiot.
As he turned back again, the faint creak of the door was heard, and he went still. You stepped onto the rooftop still wrapped in that white silk gown, the wind caught the hem immediately, making it swirl softly around your legs, and when you smiled at himâhe felt it right in the center of his chest.
âHi,â you said, voice quiet.Â
Heeseung pulled the airpods out slowly, letting them dangle from his fingers, âyouâyou actually came,â he breathed, the words slipping out before he could stop them, his eyes moved over you again, helpless, âin that dress, god, Y/N.â
You walked closer, heels soft against the concrete, âtold you I would. Couldnât stop thinking about whatever you wanted to show me,â a small laugh escaped you.Â
He took a half-step closer, âI wasnât sure,â he admitted, âbut Iâm really glad youâre here. You lookââ he trailed off, shaking his head with a soft, almost disbelieving smile, âI donât even have the words tonight, youâre beautiful.â
It was foreign, the way you felt all mushy inside with a compliment, granted you got those all the time, but this felt new. You stopped just inches from him, close enough to see the way the moonlight caught in his dark eyes, the faint flush still lingering on his cheeks, âshow me, then,â you whispered.Â
Heeseungâs breath caught for the briefest moment. Then he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and drew out a small box wrapped in simple paper, tied with a slender black ribbon. He placed it gently into your waiting hands, his fingers brushing yours with a lingering warmth that sent another quiet flutter through you.
You untied the ribbon, letting the paper fall away until the snow globe rested heavy in your palms. Inside the delicate glass sphere, a tiny couple danced beneath an invisible skyâher in a flowing white dress that mirrored the silk clinging to your body, him in a dark jacket that echoed the leather draped across Heeseungâs shoulders. Their hands were joined, bodies turned toward one another in quiet, perfect harmony. When you tilted the globe, soft white flakes swirled around them like the first gentle snowfall of winter, catching the moonlight in tiny, luminous sparks.
A rush of something overwhelming bloomed low in your stomach, as if butterflies unfurling their wings until your chest felt too full, too light. You looked up at him, eyes wide and shimmering. âHeeseung,â you breathed, âthis is us. The dress, the jacket, itâs exactly like us.â
He bit his bottom lip, smiling shyly as he nodded, eyes soft with affection that he never failed to display. âYeah,â he murmured, stepping closer until the globe rested safely between your bodies, pressed lightly against the silk over your heart, âI know itâs a little cheesy, but when I saw it, I couldnât stop thinking about you.â
It was yet again when he had rendered you speechless so beautifully, a small smile still graced your lips, and you couldnât hide it, you didnât wish to hide it, âitâs not cheesy, itâs beautiful, Hee. Thank you.âÂ
You held the globe for another heartbeat, letting the tiny flakes swirl and sparkle inside the glass, before you turned gently and set it on the wide concrete railing
Heeseung watched you, nervous as he reached into his pocket, pulling out one of the earpods and holding it out to you between two fingers, âdance with me?â He asked, voice hopeful, âIâve had this song on repeatâuh, I kept imagining what it would sound like with you here.â
It was as if you were facing the real tale of the entanglement after the initial surface level attraction had worn off, which shouldâve made it worse, right? But Heeseung, unlike any other potential love interest youâd met, shone brighter after revealing himself day by day.Â
You took the airpod from him without a secondâs hesitation and slid it in, that familiar, timeless melody of Everybody Loves Somebody filling your ear like an old friend crooning about love that finds you when you least expect it. Heeseungâs fingers brushed yours as he took your hand, threading them together with a quiet certainty that made your breath hitch. His other palm settled at your waist, warm through the silk, and he drew you in until your bodies met, like theyâd been waiting all along. You let your free hand rest against his chest, right over the steady thud of his heart beneath the leather.
Heeseung let out a soft, breathy laugh, âfuck, I actually feel stupid right now,â he muttered, âIâve never danced before.â
You laughed, leaning into his scent further, âyouâre doing great, Hee.â
âYeah?â Another dorky chuckle rumbled through his chest. He adjusted his hold on you, thumb moving in a slow, absent circle at your waist, âI donât know, lately I keep catching myself doing shit I never thought Iâd do. Like stealing keys to a rooftop, buying a snow globe because it reminded me of you. Itâs weird, I feel like Iâm figuring out all these parts of myself I didnât even know were there.â
He stole keys, the thought itself made you chuckle again. Youâd once read somewhere that the act of loving someone doesnât stop at accepting them but furthers by coaxing their selfhood out of themâit felt that way for you too because who would have thought youâd be dancing with someone at a rooftop wearing a gown?Â
You squeezed his hand gently, âI like that,â you said, âI like that youâre figuring it out with me.â
The proximity was perfect, yet your bodies kept on gravitating towards each other every few steps, and eventually the melody began to fade. You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, the position mirroring that of the snow globe miniatures. Taking another step, you leaned forward just enough to slot your lips against his, almost as if breathing each other in, lips parting at the same time before pressing into a gentle peck. Heeseung exhaled shakily against you, his hand tightening at your waist for a second like he was trying to remember how to breathe.
When you finally drew back, you gave him that smile you knew he couldnât resist. You slipped the airpod out of your ear and dropped it into his open palm, fingers brushing his one last time. At the same time you reached over, picked up the snow globe from the railing, and tucked it carefully against your chest.
âNight, baby,â you whispered as you turned toward the door.
Heeseung just stood there, completely still, breathing a little harder than before. His eyes were wide and utterly lovestruck as he watched you walk away. The rooftop door clicked shut behind you, but he didnât move for a long timeâjust stayed right where he was under the moonlight, that dazed, helpless smile slowly taking over his face.
You were panting as Heeseung pressed his lips on the base of your spine, sending a shiver up your back. He hadnât been patient pulling you in his bed, turning you over to unzip your dress. He groaned with each kiss as if he was pleasuring himself instead of you while savouring every inch of skin exposed.Â
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the middle of your back for a second, breathing hard, âyouâre trembling,â he whispered against you, âis my mouth really making you feel that good?â He kissed between your shoulder blades, then higher, until his lips brushed the nape of your neck, âtell me, baby. Tell me how wet you are right now just from this.â
âSo wet,â you gasped, pushing your hips back against him, âHeeâplease.â
He let out a broken groan and shoved your panties to the side with impatient fingers, not even bothering to pull them off. The thick head of his cock nudged against your slick entrance, hot and heavy, before he sank into you in one long, relentless thrust.
âFuck,â he groaned, the sound guttural as he bottomed out, stretching you wide, âyouâre soaking my cock, baby. So fucking tight and wet for me.â He pulled back slowly, then drove in again, harder, the wet slap of skin echoing in the room, âlisten to that. Hear how greedy your pussy is for me?â
You cried out, fingers clawing at the sheets as he set a deep, punishing rhythm, each stroke dragging perfectly against that sensitive spot inside you.
âHeeseungâoh god, yesââ your voice broke on a moan, tears of overwhelming pleasure already stinging your eyes, âharderâplease, I need it harder.â
Heeseung cursed under his breath and fucked you deeper, hips snapping forward with filthy precision, âlike this?â He panted, voice hoarse âyou want me to ruin this pretty little pussy? Tell me how good it feels, baby. I want to hear you fall apart.â
âIt feels so good,â you sobbed, pushing back to meet every thrust, âyouâre so deepâfuck, Hee, I canâtââ
The pleasure coiled tighter and tighter, white-hot and devastating, until it finally snapped.
âI love youââ the words tore out of you, raw and desperate, âHeeseung, I love youââ
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt inside you, body going completely rigid.
âWhat?â His voice was barely a whisper, shocked and trembling.
You whimpered, hips twitching helplessly around his cock, the confession spilling out again in a blurry, broken rush, âI love you, I love you so muchââ
Heeseung pulled out suddenly, making you whine at the loss. In one swift motion he flipped you onto your back, hovering over you with wide, dark eyes and a chest that heaved like heâd forgotten how to breathe.
âSay it again,â he demanded, voice hoarse and shaking as he stared down at you, one hand cupping your jaw, âlook at me and say it again, baby. Please.â
Your eyes were glassy, lips parted on a shaky breath, but the words seemed to have blurred, your face disappearing right in front of his eyes as you said, âI loveââÂ
He woke up with a sharp, ragged gasp, bolting upright in his own bed, heart slamming violently against his ribs. The room was dark and silent except for his own frantic breathing. Sweat slicked his skin, and when he looked down, the front of his sweatpants was soaked with a warm, sticky mess.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â he whispered hoarsely, dragging a trembling hand down his face, cheeks burning with heat.
It was hard for him to contain himself when this is all he could dream of the past six days, feeling it deep despite it being a dream. Wet dream was fine really, but the confession that echoed? Yeah, that definitely made Heeseung feel eccentric because he needed to hear that for real despite the terms of the relationship between you both. It was bound to bloom into something more.
You two had fallen into a rhythm that didnât need a label really. He showed up outside your lectures with your stupidly specific drink (matcha), the one with the exact ratio you liked, because heâd paid attention the one time you made a face at the wrong version. Youâd started leaving your oversized hoodie at his place just so you could steal his instead and he could wear yours, the sleeves swallowing your hands while you lounged on his bed scrolling through your phone. He noticed how you always tugged at your bottom lip when you were thinking too hard, how you stole the last sip of his drink without asking, how your shoulders relaxed the second you kicked your shoes off after a long day. You noticed the way he rubbed the bridge of his nose when he was tired but too stubborn to admit it, the soft little hum he made when something tasted exactly right, the way his eyes lingered on you a beat longer than necessary whenever you laughed at something dumb he said.
You werenât calling it dating, you werenât calling it anything. But you also werenât fighting it. Youâd never been the type to deny yourself something that made you feel good, and Heeseung made you feel good in a way that snuck up on you. So you let yourself have it without the complications of overthinking.Â
Later that morning, Heeseung walked across campus still half-dazed from the dream, that stupid, lingering smile refusing to leave his face. The memory of your voice saying those three words kept looping in his head, well, until a voice didnât wish to hear ruined his train of thoughts.Â
âWell, well. If it isnât the thief.â
Heeseung slowed to a stop and turned. Jaemin stood there with his arms crossed, wearing the same smug, pissed-off expression he used to think was charming.
Heeseung let out a dry, humorless scoff, âthief? Thatâs fucking hilarious coming from the guy who was literally balls-deep in my ex while we were still together.â
Jaemin stepped closer, eyes narrowing, âwhatever helps you sleep at night. You really think youâre gonna keep her interested?â His voice dripped with condescension, âY/N doesnât do soft boys. All that cute shit you do, yâknow? All that bringing her drinks, playing with her hair, looking at her like sheâs the only person in the room? Sheâll get bored so soon. She needs someone who can actually keep up with her, not some pathetic, whipped little romantic who gets all starry-eyed at the sight of her.â
Heeseung forced out a dry laugh, âyeah sure, keep telling yourself that.â
Jaemin stepped even closer, that ugly little smirk twisting his mouth, âyouâre playing house while sheâs used to getting fucked properly, Iâm sure youâre not offering much to at all, youâre nothing but a rebound to her,â he scoffed once, and walked away.Â
But the damage was done, because yes, Heeseung was soft, almost a whipped little romantic who let you take the lead when things got heated, how you pinned his wrists down or told him exactly how you wanted him, and how much he fucking loved giving in to you. The dream from this morning flashed behind his eyes again, your voice breaking on those three words while he was the one completely undone above you. Now it all felt suddenly pathetic, like something Jaemin could point at and laugh at.
Jealousy, envy, insecurity, these were the things he didnât wish to feel, and gladly so, he never felt that with you, so why was an outsider here to remind him of his so called weaknesses? It felt like a spiral how he skipped the next lecture and pondered on Jaeminâs words. Did you actually not enjoy your time with him? Was he enough? Did you want a more intense relationship? Was it just a rebound?
He couldnât find the answers to any of those questions, and managed to ignore every single text and call that came his way, letting himself cool down on the rooftop yet again.Â
What he essentially forgot was how communication wasnât a part of the relationship but the very pillar that ran practically any relationship on this earth, this being the very first instance of him not being able to express himselfâsomething he did so freely around you.Â
And so, the day passed without him replying to you.Â
You felt the absence like a missing pulse.Â
âYou look crazy checking your phone every two minutes,â Sunoo pointed out, and you huffed, grabbing your phone again to stare at the unread texts youâd sent him through the day.Â
The screen glowed mockingly in the low light of your dorm room, the blue bubble of your last message still floating unanswered beneath the others, heeseung? talk to me. you okay? iâm coming over if you donât answer. Just silence that didnât sit right with you.Â
Sunoo flopped dramatically across the foot of your bed, legs kicking up behind him, while Winter perched on the windowsill, she watched you with that knowing tilt of her head, the one that always preceded a lecture of affection.Â
âBabe,â she said, âheâs been ghosting the group chat too, somethingâs off. Like, capital-O off.â
You set the phone face-down on the blanket, but your fingers still twitched toward it. Sunoo nudged your ankle with his socked foot.Â
âGo, seriously, and if heâs being a dramatic little shit, tell him Sunoo said to grow a pair and answer his damn phone.â His grin was bright, âyouâre so in love itâs pathetic.â
Your lip only twitched, and you didnât admit nor deny it. It was too early to even overthink what happened, was he drowning himself in self destruction while embracing pain for absolutely no reason? Regardless you frowned with disdain, pushing yourself up to actually do something about the situation, choosing to wear his hoodie he gave you a few days earlier.Â
You didnât bother fixing your hair or changing out of the soft shorts youâd been rotting in all evening. This wasnât about looking put-together, it was about the fact that Heeseung had never once left a message on read without answering, in fact, he was the one who usually texted first, shared his problems, and discussed any and everything this world has to offer. Whatever had him locked down like this, it had teeth, and you were done waiting for him to chew through it alone.
By the time you reached there, a feeling of nervousness washed over you. Jake pulled the door open almost immediately, like heâd been hovering behind it. His eyes were wide, hair sticking up in about six different directions, and he looked so relieved to see you that it almost hurt.
âJesus Christ, youâre here,â he sighed, stepping aside so you could slip in, âhe got back from class and just shut down. Told me to fuck off when I asked if he wanted pasta. Jay tried the concerned roommate bit and got the door slammed in his face. This isnâtâhe doesnât do this, yâknow?â
You nodded, throat tight, âI know.â
Jake hesitated, then added almost sheepishly, âif heâs being a dick, tell him I said to stop being a dramatic prick or iâll take you away, or whatever.â
You gave him a chuckle and headed straight for the bedroom door, hoping that it wouldnât be locked. It wasnât, thankfully so, and you pushed the door open before you could talk yourself out of it. Heeseung sat on the edge of the bed in those black sweats that hung too low on his hips, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing. His hair was a mess, like heâd been running his hands through it for hours. The silver chain sat against his collarbone, rising and falling with these tight little breaths. He looked exhausted, hollowed out even.
He heard the door and his head snapped up.
For a second his eyes went wide, like he couldnât believe it was really you standing there. The whiplash of emotions was too much, especially when you were clad in his hoodie with sadness gracing your pretty face that he really always wished to see happy. He stood up so fast the bed creaked, crossed the room in two strides, and pulled you against him like heâd been waiting to do exactly that all day.
His hands were rough as he grabbed your nape the second the door closed shut behind you, breathing hard as your lips parted to ask a question, but he only closed his eyes, slid his hand up to your head as he pushed you against the door, pushing his lips against yours in a messy claim.Â
He can be rough, he can be the one to give you pleasure, of course he can. His fingers tightened in your hair, tilting your head exactly how he wanted it, tongue sliding in deep. You tasted the faint cherry from whatever heâd been drinking, felt the way his chest heaved against yours like heâd been running.
âMissed you,â he mumbled right into your mouth, the words half-bitten off by another rough kiss, âfuck, I missed you so bad today.â
âHeeseungâwait, what the hell happenedââ you tried, but he swallowed the question with his mouth, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to sting before dragging his teeth down the side of your neck. His free hand shoved under the hem of the hoodie, palm sprawled over the expanse of your waist, fingers digging in like he needed to feel skin right now
âShh,â he breathed against your throat, voice wrecked, âdonât talk. Justâlet me.â He sucked a mark right below your ear, like he was stamping proof that you were here, that you were his. His hips pressed forward, pinning you tighter to the door, and you could feel how hard he already was through his sweats.
The force of him made your breath hitch, your back flush against the cool wood while every inch of him burned insistent. He was never like this, not with you. Heeseung had always been careful, as if afraid that wrong move would make you slip away. But tonight something had snapped in him, and the way his fingers trembled just slightly against your skin told you he knew it too. He was trying to prove a pointâto himself, to the ghost of Jaeminâs voice still echoing in his headâthat he could be the rough, ravenous version he thought you wanted.
He spun you around so fast your palms slapped against the full-length mirror on the back of his closet door. The cool glass kissed your bare chest, making your nipples tighten instantly. Heeseungâs chest pressed flush to your back, one hand sliding up to grip your jaw, forcing your head up so you had no choice but to look at your own reflectionâparted lips, eyes already glassy.Â
âLook at yourself,â he rasped, âlook how fucking pretty you are when youâre like this for me.â
His other hand snaked down your stomach, fingers dipping between your thighs without warning. Two thick digits pushed inside you in one smooth glide, curling instantly against that spot that made your knees buckle. You gasped, forehead dropping forward until it rested on the mirror, but Heeseungâs grip on your jaw tightened, yanking you back up.
âEyes open, baby. Watch, yeah?âÂ
It most certainly was hot to see him take control, but you couldnât understand the sudden switch, the implications, your mind was too foggy with the way youâd missed him through the day. Heeseung was too in his head, as if on some mission to make you feel goodâwhich he always achieved, yet was not satisfied.Â
He pumped his fingers slow and deep, twisting them on every drag out so you felt every ridge, every knuckle. The wet, slick sounds of your pussy taking his fingers echoed obscenely in the quiet dorm room. In the mirror you watched it all: the way your lips parted on a shaky moan, the flush crawling down your neck to your chest, the way your tits pressed and flattened against the cool glass with every rock of your hips. Heeseungâs reflection behind you was devastatingâdark hair falling into his eyes, jaw clenched tight, that chain around his neck swaying every time he thrust his fingers harder.
âGod, youâre so deep already,â you whimpered, hips rocking back to meet his hand, âkeep going like that, yeah, just like that, Hee.â
Heeseung groaned low, forehead dropping to your shoulder for a second before he forced himself to look up again, as if in pain, âthatâs it. Fuck, listen to how messy you sound. Youâre dripping down my wrist, baby. Such a good girl for me.â
You bit your lip, eyes fluttering, but he tapped your jaw again.
âDonât close your eyes. Want you to see how pretty you look when I finger fuck you like this.â
âBossy tonight,â you teased breathlessly, even as your thighs started trembling, âI like it, but youâre gonna make me cum already if you keep rubbing my clit like that.â
âGood,â he rasped, thumb circling faster, fingers curling relentlessly, âcum for me. Right now. Let me see it.â
You moaned his name loud, walls fluttering and clenching around his fingers as you came, slick coating his hand. Heeseung kept working you through it, slower but deep, murmuring against your neck, âthatâs my girlâfuck, youâre so pretty when you cum. Look at you shaking for me.â
He pulled his fingers out slowly, then brought them to your lips.
âTaste yourself, baby, hm? Câmon, open up.â
You sucked them clean, eyes never leaving his in the reflection, and he cursed under his breath the second your tongue swirled around his fingers.Â
âFuckâyouâre gonna kill me.â
Before you could catch your breath he dropped to his knees behind you, hands gripping your hips and yanking you back so your ass arched toward his face.
âKeep watching the mirror,â he said, voice hoarse with need, âI want you to see me eat this pussy like Iâve been starving for it.â
Then his mouth was on you, as filthy as he could manage. His tongue dragged slow and broad from your clit all the way up, and you moaned loud, hands sliding down the glass.
âOh my god, Heeââ
âMhm, fuck, you taste even better after you come,â he groaned against you, the vibration making your legs weak, âspread your legs a little wider for me, baby. Let me get deeper.â
You did, pushing back against his face. His tongue fucked into you while his nose nudged your clit, then he sucked your swollen clit into his mouth hard.
âYesâright there, donât stop,â you panted, âyour tongue feels so fucking good, baby, keep sucking like that.â
Heeseung moaned into your pussy, one hand reaching around to rub your clit while the other spread you open wider, âtell me how much you like it,â he mumbled between licks, voice desperate, âtell me you love my mouth on you.â
âI love itâfuck, I love your mouth, Hee. Youâre so good at thisâshit, Iâm gonna cum again if you keep going like that.â
He sucked harder, tongue flicking fast, fingers joining to curl inside you, âthen let go again, right on my tongue. I want to feel you fall apart while you watch yourself in the mirror.â
Your second orgasm crashed over you even harder, a high pitched moan leaving your mouth, almost as if you were chanting his name like a mantra, thighs shaking violently as you came on his tongue, and Heeseung licked you through every pulse, slow and greedy, humming happily like he couldnât get enough.
You were still trembling when he finally pulled away, breathing hard against the inside of your thigh. His eyes met yours in the mirror for a second, looking all desperate, almost frantic before he stood up and turned you around. His hands were shaking as they gripped your waist.
âCome here,â he said, voice rough, like the words were being dragged out of him. He kissed you immediately, with the need to taste the way youâd just fallen apart for him, âbed. I need you on the bed right now.â
You nodded, legs still unsteady, and he didnât wait. He lifted you, your back hitting the mattress a second later. He climbed over you fast, knees bracketing your hips, but instead of diving right in he paused, hovering above you, chest heaving. His eyes were wide, pupils blown, and for a split second you saw the soft Heeseung underneath all that intensityâthe one who always checked on you, the one who was terrified of messing this up.
âYou really want this?â He asked, voice cracking a little even though he was trying to sound sure. His hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your skin like he couldnât stop himself, âall the way, me inside you. Tell me you want it, baby, please.â
âI want it,â you whispered, reaching up to pull him closer by his chain, âI want you, Hee. Stop holding back.â
He let out a shaky breath and nodded, like he was steeling himself. He shoved the rest of his clothes off as you watched the pretty boy in front of you. It was clear how he wanted to prove a point, and you were gonna let him, granted he wasnât in the mood to talk, his faint muscles flexing was distracting you as well, but yeah, you were letting him take control.Â
He gripped your thighs and spread you open wider, breathing hard as he tried not to stare to the point he starts drooling because, lord, you looked absolutely stunning all spread out on his bed, looking up at him with need, bottom lip bitten. He lined up, the blunt head of his cock pressing right against your entrance, and for a second he just stayed there, breathing hard, eyes flicking up to yours like he was still fighting whatever storm was in his head.
âTell me again,â he said, âtell me you want this.â
âI want this,â you breathed, pulling him down into a messy kiss, tongues sliding deep right away, âI want you inside me, Hee. Stop thinking and just take me.â
He groaned into your mouth and pushed forward.
The first inch stretched you open, slow and thick. You both gasped against each otherâs lips.
âFuckâyouâre so tight,â he muttered, forehead pressed to yours, hips trembling as he held still, âjust the tip and youâre already gripping me like that. You okay?â
You nodded quickly, nails dragging lightly down his back, âkeep going, I can take more.â
He kissed you again, deeper this time, almost desperate, and rolled his hips forward on the second thrust as another inch sank in. The burn was sharp but so fucking good your back arched.
âShitâbaby,â he groaned, voice cracking. He sucked a hard mark right under your jaw, teeth grazing your skin as he pushed in a third time, slower, letting you adjust, âyou feelâgosh, you feel unreal, iâm trying not to lose it already.â
Your nails dug in harder, scratching down his shoulder blades as he gave one more careful thrust and finally bottomed out, hips flush against yours. The full stretch made you moan loud into his mouth, legs tightening around his waist.
Heeseung stilled completely, breathing ragged against your neck, trying not to whimper, âtalk to me. Does it hurt? Tell me the truth.â
âA little,â you whispered, âbut I love it. You feel so deep already. Move, baby, I need you to move.â
He started with slow, deep rolls of his hips, grinding against you on every stroke like he was still trying to stay in control. But you could feel the tension building in his body, the way his fingers dug into your thighs a little harder each time.
âYeah? Like this?â He asked, voice rougher now as he snapped his hips forward a little sharper, âyou want me to fuck you harder?â
âHarder,â you moaned, nails raking down his back again, leaving red lines, âdonât be gentle tonight. I want all of it.â
He dropped his head to your neck and bit down hard, sucking yet another dark mark into your skin as his hips suddenly slammed forward. The thrusts turned brutal, the bed creaking loudly under you. His chain slapped against your chest with every snap of his hips. He was fucking you like heâd been holding back for monthsâdesperate, almost punishing strokes that knocked the breath out of you.
âFuckâfuck, baby,â he groaned against your throat, voice completely wrecked, âyouâre taking me so fucking good. This pussy is mine tonight. Mine.â
You cried out and he kissed you again, tongues sliding messily while he pounded into you without any rhythm left. His hips stuttered, slamming harder, faster, completely mindless now, like every doubt in his head was being fucked out with every brutal thrust.
âShitâI canâtâcanât slow down,â he panted, âyou feel too good, gonna fuck you until you canât walk tomorrow.â
He was goneâeyes hazy, sweat dripping down his chest, hips snapping wildly as he lost himself inside you, chasing that raw, desperate need to prove he could be everything he thought you wanted. His chain bounced wildly against your chest, his fingers digging bruises into your thigh like he needed something to hold onto.Â
You were right there with him, body tightening, moans spilling out against his mouth, when the intensity tipped over into something too much, too fast. Your hand shot back, fingers digging into his hip.
âHeeseungâstop. Stop for a second.â
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt, every muscle locking up at once. His breath hitched hard against your neck. For a long second the room was just the sound of both of you breathing, ragged and uneven. You could feel the panic crashing over him.Â
âFuckâdid I hurt you?â His voice cracked, he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes already glassy with tears that spilled over when he blinked, âshit, Iâm so sorryâI got too rough, I didnât mean to, I was trying so hard not to be soft and I justâfuck, I thought if I fucked you harder youâd want me, youâd stay, Iââ
His lip trembled. Another tear slid down his cheek and landed warm on your skin. He looked completely shattered, still deep inside you, like the idea that he might have hurt you was breaking him apart right there.
You cupped his face with both hands, thumbs gently brushing the tears from under his eyes, âbaby, shh. You didnât hurt me,â you whispered, voice soft, full of warmth, ânot even a little. I promise. You feel so good, Hee. Câmon breathe with me, okay?â
He stared at you, eyes wide and wet, lips pressed tight together like he was trying not to fall apart completely. He gave the smallest shake of his head, refusing to speak at first.
You leaned up and kissed him, just a gentle press of your lips until he softened into it, a shaky little exhale leaving him. When you pulled back you kept your forehead against his, thumbs still stroking his cheeks.
âTell me whatâs wrong,â you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, âI can feel it, baby. Somethingâs been eating at you. Please talk to me.â
Heeseung swallowed hard, eyes fluttering shut for a second as another tear slipped free. His voice came out small, cracked, almost ashamed.
âJaemin cornered me after class,â he whispered, âuhâhe said Iâm too soft, fucking whipped. That Iâm just a pathetic rebound and youâd get bored of me in a week because someone like me could never keep a girl like you. Said you need someone who can actually fuck you right, not some gentle loser,â his breath hitched, âI justâI didnât want to be that guy anymore. I wanted to prove I could be what you need, I know this isnât what you wanted, our whole FWB thing.â
You stayed right there, forehead pressed to his, thumbs still gently wiping his tears as you looked at him with nothing but softness in your eyes, heart hurting at how the guy who makes you the happiest was reduced to some loser by your pathetic excuse of an ex.Â
âI like you exactly how you are,â you let out, heat creeping up your neck, the position only making you feel more with his cock still buried deep in you.Â
âYâyou like me?â He gasped as you licked his tear away, âreally?â
âI do, Hee. I forgot about the whole no strings arrangement long back, I found myself wanting to spend more time with you, and who am I to deprive myself of happiness?â You chuckled, âyou canât force your feelings to go away, or change yourself, yâknow? Fuck Jaemin, he doesnât know shit, he could never make me cum and he definitely could never make me feel the way you do.â
Heeseung let out a shaky, broken exhale, his forehead still resting against yours as fresh tears welled up, âI thoughtâI thought I was ruining everything. I was so scared youâd realize Iâm just the rebound, and youâd leave. I didnât want to lose you, so I tried to be someone else tonight. Iâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head, âyou didnât ruin anything, Hee, not even close. You could never ruin this. Iâm right here, okay? Iâm not going anywhere, I donât mind you being rough or soft, yeah?â
He swallowed hard, âI donât want to be rough, I never really did. I just, I thought thatâs what you needed from me. But I want to be soft with you, can Iâcan I do that? Please?â
You couldnât help the soft chuckle that escaped you, the sound made his lips twitch, and then he was smilingâsmall, shy, and so genuinely relieved it made your heart squeeze. He immediately hid his face in the crook of your neck, embarrassed, his breath warm against your skin as he let out a quiet, shy laugh of his own.
âStop laughing at me,â he mumbled into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice, the way his shoulders relaxed.
âIâm not laughing at you,â you whispered, still chuckling as you threaded your fingers through his hair, âIâm laughing because youâre adorable, and I like you like this. Exactly like this.â
Heeseung lifted his head just enough to look at you again, eyes still glassy but now shining with something brighter as he managed another kiss, pouring every unsaid feeling into it. When he pulled back, his voice was soft.Â
âI love you,â he breathed out, âIâm so in love with you. I donât want no-strings, I want everything. Mornings where I wake up and youâre stealing my hoodie. Nights where we fall asleep tangled up like this, and I want all of it with you.â
You smiled against his lips, heart so full it felt like it might burst, âIâm falling in love with you too, Hee, I want all of that with you too.â
He whined, kissing you all clumsy, rolling his hips in long, loving strokes that made you feel every inch of him. The pace was unhurried, like he wanted to savor every second.
âFeel that?â He whispered, forehead pressed to yours, eyes locked on you, âI love being inside you like this. I love feeling you around meâso warm, so perfect.â
You moaned softly, legs wrapping tighter around him as you rocked up to meet his slow thrusts, âyou feel so good, baby.â
Heeseung smiled again with a giggle, hiding his face in your neck for a moment before kissing along your throat, âyouâre so beautiful,â he murmured between kisses, âthe way you look when Iâm inside you, the little sounds you make, I could stay like this for hours. Just loving you, just making you feel good.â
His hand found yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning it gently above your head while the other slid down to cup your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple in slow, tender circles. Every thrust was accompanied by quiet wordsâI love you, you feel incredible, never letting you go, whispered against your skin like prayers.
You squeezed his hand, âI love how you make me feel safe, donât ever change, okay?â
âI wonât, I promise, i just want to make you feel loved. Every single day.â
The room filled with nothing but the soft creak of the bed, your quiet moans, and his gentle praises. He kept the pace slow and deep, grinding against you on every thrust so your clit rubbed perfectly against him. His lips never left your skinâkissing your neck, your jaw, your mouth, your collarbone like he couldnât bear to stop touching you.
âYouâre everything to me,â he whispered, voice thick with emotion as he rolled his hips again, âIâm so lucky youâre mine. So fucking lucky.â
âIâm the lucky one, baby. Now keep loving me just like this, I never want this to end.â
Heeseung smiled against your mouth, eyes shining with pure adoration, and did exactly thatâloving you slow, deep, and full of so much tenderness it felt like the rest of the world had disappeared.
Just the two of you, and the moonlight in the room.Â
MEANWHILE:
You shushed Heeseung for the nth time as he smiled against your palm, but you were serious, peering down the hallway from the narrow alcove where youâd both hidden behind a pillar.
âStop smiling, youâre going to get us caught,â you whispered, though your own grin was fighting to break free.
Heeseung only chuckled quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your wrist, âcanât help it. You look so adorable trying to be all serious.â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart felt warm as his arms stayed wrapped around your waist from behind, chin resting on your shoulder.
The classroom door finally swung open. Students spilled out, and then Jaemin stepped into the hallway, laughing loudly with his friends.
The second you saw him, you stepped out without hesitation, you lifted the chilled cup and poured the entire icy matcha straight over his head from the first floor, the aim being too good to your surprise.Â
Jaemin gasped, stumbling back as green liquid drenched his hair and hoodie, âwhat the fuckââ
Loud laughter exploded from the crowd around him. Phones came out instantly, people whistling and clapping, and you didnât stay to admire your work.
You grabbed Heeseungâs hand and ran, both of you sprinting down the side hallway until you ducked into an empty stairwell, breathless and laughing.
âOh my god, his face,â you wheezed, back pressed against the wall.
Heeseung leaned over you, one hand beside your head, smiling so beautifully it made your knees weakâeyes crinkled, full of pure adoration and joy.
âYouâre insane, taking revenge for me again,â he said softly, âand Iâm so in love with you.â
You reached up, cupping his cheek. He leaned in and kissed you sweetly, so full of everything you two had become. When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he was still smiling that same breathtaking smile.
âI love you,â he whispered.
You kissed the corner of his mouth, grinning, and you did mean it with your whole heart as you proceeded to say.Â
GENRE/CW: smut (multiple scenes), angst, fluff, porn with plot, down bad hee, switch!hee, lowkey subby hee, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), lots of kissing, cunnilingus, blowjob, dry humping, fingering, sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, marking, crying. mentions of nicknames, messy feelings, lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 24.7k words!
SYNOPSIS: Money canât buy loyalty, and neither can years of friendship. After your boyfriend and your best friend decide to fuck each other behind your back, the only silver lining is Heeseungâthe one person who looks as hollow as you feel. It begins as a petty revenge kiss and a no-strings situationship, but what will you do if it slowly turns into something dangerously real?
A/N: hihi loves <3 sorry for the wait, i had to edit a few scenes but here we are now, i hope you guys enjoy the fic, also i love jaem (sorry jaem), moon nics ricey cameo lets gaurrr <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <3
It really was a sight to see.Â
Your best friend pressed up against your boyfriend like theyâd invented the concept of gravity, her hands shamelessly roaming under the hem of his shirt while his mouth dragged along the line of her neck.Â
No shame, not even a flicker of it. To the drunk, sweating crowd around them, it probably just looked like another hazy corner of the partyâtwo bodies tangled in the dim lights, music blasting so loud it swallowed any guilt, if they cared to harbour any that is, but you saw everything.
To be more precise, you found out yesterday when they got bold enough to fuck each other at your boyfriendâs apartment, and oblivious enough to not notice your presence, or your low chuckle at the depravity of the situation. Instead of feeling mad, you felt that bone deep numbness. Why trust anyone at this point?
Emotionally unavailable, the label had never sounded so accurate, but was it truly your fault when you never felt the need to expect anything from him? It certainly was an experience faking your orgasms for him, but you cared on the deeper levelsâwell, till you found him balls deep inside your now ex best friend.Â
So you sat there now on the worn leather couch, legs crossed, drink dangling from your fingers, watching them like it was just another Tuesday night show.
âOh heyâyouâre here! Have you seen Mina?âÂ
The voice cut through the haze of music and chatter, slightly breathless. You turned your head slowly, lashes lowering just a fraction as your gaze landed on Heeseung.
He stood a few feet away, tall and striking even in the crowd, dark maroon hair tousled like heâd rushed all the way here. His sharp jaw was tense, brows drawn together in mild confusion as he scanned the room. The leather jacket hanging off his broad shoulders caught the shifting lights, and for a moment, you wondered how heâd react to the news of his girlfriend in the arms of his best friend.Â
You tilted your head, lips curving into a slow, amused smile that didnât quite reach your eye,Â
âyeah,â you said, voice smooth as you clicked your tongue, âright over there.â
You lifted your glass in a lazy gesture toward the corner, and Heeseung followed your line of sight. The shift in his expression was immediate and downright visceral. His eyes widened, pupils blown with disbelief as he took in the scene of Minaâs leg hooked shamelessly around his best friendâs hip, her mouth pressed to the underside of his jaw while his hands roamed with practiced familiarity.Â
The way they moved together spoke of stolen nights and secret touchesâmonths, maybe longer.
âTheyâre cheating,â you added lightly, almost conversationally, as if commenting on the weather as you took a slow sip from your drink, âbold choice, doing it in plain sight like this. Guess they figured neither of us would actually show up tonightâI mean, I did mention I wouldnât.â
Heeseungâs adamâs apple bobbed visible, a flash of hurt brewed behind his eyes, before it ignited this anger within him, âwhat the fuckââ the words slipped out rather hoarse, broken.Â
He didnât really look at you, eyes locked on them as if he couldnât look away. Before you could say anything else, he was moving, pushing through the dense crowd with single-minded intensity. You watched his retreating back for a moment, that same curiosity curling in your chest. It wouldâve been a sight to stay and watch the fireworks, sure, but you just got up.Â
You wove through the crowd without hurry, heels clicking softly up the narrow wooden stairs, each step carrying you farther from the mess downstairs.
The upstairs hallway was dimmer, and at the end of it, the balcony door was wide open, letting the night air slip in. You stepped outside, pulling a cigarette from the pack tucked in your jacket, lips closing around it as you flicked your lighter.Â
First drag hit deep, filling your lungs with that bitter, familiar burn. You leaned against the railing, letting the smoke curl out slow between your parted lips, eyes half-lidded against the wind tugging at your hair.
For a minute, everything felt almost peaceful, comfortable even, then the door scraped open behind you, and Heeseung stepped out, breathing hard like heâd run the whole way up. His hair was messier now, dark burgundy strands falling into his eyes, and his faceâgod, his face was a wreck. Eyes glassy with everything he was trying not to feel, cheeks flushed, mouth pressed into a thin, angry line.
Without asking, he closed the distance in two long strides and plucked it right from your lips.
A surprised little chuckle slipped out of you before you could stop it, and you observed how he took a deep, shaky drag from where your lipstick had stained the cigarette, holding it in for long before he blew the smoke up toward the dark sky. His free hand gripped the railing tight enough that his knuckles went white.Â
âFucking hell,â he rasped, voice rough, âhow long? Justâtell me how long theyâve been doing this behind our backs.â
âSince at least yesterday,â you said, âI walked in on them fucking in his dorm, didnât even have the decency to lock the door,â a faint smile ghosted your lips, âI just closed it again and left.â
Heeseungâs head turned toward you slowly, eyes wide with shock, the cigarette nearly slipping from his fingers, âyou saw them and didnât say shit?â
You shrugged, âwhat was there to say? They wanted each other, and Iâve never been the type to drown myself that deeply anyway. It just felt odd to see Mina do it, that part did affect me, years of friendship drowned for what? A guy.â
Heeseung let out a disbelieving huff, running a hand through his already tousled hair, âJaemin was my best friend, man. Weâve been tight since freshman yearâshared everything. And now this?â His voice cracked slightly, âfeels like a fucking knife in the back from both sides. They looked guilty for a second but didnât even bother following me here to explain themselves, though they did have the audacity to ask me not to tell you.â
You studied him for a moment through his ramble, the way the balcony light cast sharp shadows across his sharp jaw and the pained lines around his eyes. He looked devastatingly undone, yet there was something resilient in the way he stood there, refusing to crumble completely. The sight stirred a spark in your chestâthat familiar free-spirited curiosity.Â
You passed the cigarette back to him after a puff, âpeople reveal their true colors eventually. Itâs pragmatic to accept it and keep moving instead of letting it rot you from the inside.â
Silence stretched between you, thick with shared betrayal. Heeseung took another drag, then offered it back, his gaze lingering on your face with astute observation, like he was trying to peel back the layers of your calm detachment, he just couldnât understand how you seemed soâunaffected?
You crushed the cigarette against the railing and flicked it into the night. That proactive restlessness bloomed brighter inside you, eyes gleaming with mischievous insight.
âWanna do something fun?â You asked.Â
Heeseung blinked, lips parting in surprise, âfun? Like right now?â
âMhm,â you stepped closer, âare you okay with a kiss, Heeseung?â
His breath hitched audibly, throat bobbing, âaâa kiss?â The word came out hoarse, almost stunned. His gaze dropped to your mouth, lingering, before snapping back up, cheeks flushing darker, âyou serious?â
âVery,â you held his stare, âyes or no?â
âIsnât that cheating?â He looked devastatingly clueless even mumbling that question, and you raised your brow.Â
âYes or no?â You asked again.Â
He searched your face, the raw pain still churning, but something hungrier kindled beneath itâcuriosity. After a beat, he gave one slow nod making you chuckle.
You took his hand and led him back down into the partyâs suffocating crowd, and he followed without asking any questions. In the corner, Jaemin and Mina were still shamelessly entangled, her arms looped around his neck, his hands possessive on her hips.
You stepped straight into their space without hesitation, grabbing Jaeminâs arm to pull him back.Â
The sharp crack of your palm across Jaeminâs cheek echoed through the room, his head whipped sideways. Mina stumbled back with a gasp as the crowd around you froze, then erupted in murmurs and the bright flare of phone screens.
âWhat the fuck?â Jaemin snarled, clutching his reddening face, eyes blazing the instant recognition hit, âwâwait, Y/N?âÂ
Minaâs face drained of color, âweâwe didnât think you would show up tonightââ
You desperately wanted to laugh, but you maintained your character, cause how were they dumb enough to think that you wouldnât find out, especially when Heeseung did too.Â
âClearly,â you said, getting ready to lie beautifully, âHeeseung told me everything. How long have you two been fucking behind our backs?â
Whispers exploded outward. Jaemin fumbled for excuses, mouth opening uselessly.
âI didnât expect this from you Mina,â you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek as tears started forming in her eyes.
âNoâlisten to me, we didnâtââ
âWhatever,â you continued, a crystalline laugh escaping you, âbe happy with each other, Iâll find someone better.â
You turned away from their frozen faces, and Heeseung stood right there, looking completely wrecked. Your eyes met his, like really met them. For a second everything else including the stares, the phones, the bassâfaded into background noise.
He looked at you like you were the only person left in the room, and maybe to him, you were.Â
You stepped in close, sliding your hands up his chest. His heart was pounding under your palms, doe eyes full of trust and anticipation for what was to come. Heeseungâs breath caught, but he didnât move away. His hands found your waist almost on instinct, fingers spreading wide and warm through your clothes, before pressing in to hold on tighter.Â
His gaze dropped to your mouth before flicking back up, nodding slightly as he understood the question you asked him earlier.Â
Which is why you tilted your head and kissed him.
You slotted your lips against his rather softly, just to test him at first. His mouth was warm, faintly tasting of smoke and the drink heâd had earlier. He froze for half a second, stunned at the easiness of it all, then let out this quiet, broken sound against your lips and kissed you back.Â
The kiss turned deeper fast, hungrier. Your tongue brushed his and he groaned low in his throat, the vibration rolling straight through you. You slid one hand into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands, while the other stayed fisted in his jacket, pulling him closer. Heeseungâs grip on your waist tightened almost painfully so, one arm wrapping further around your back to press you flush against him. His chest rose and fell hard against yours. You could feel every shaky breath, the way his fingers trembled just slightly where they dug into your sides.
It was messy, a little desperate. Tongues sliding, breaths mixing hot and uneven, the faint wet sound of it somehow louder than the music behind. He kissed like he was pouring every bit of hurt and anger and sudden want into you as you took it all, giving the same right back.
When you finally pulled back just enough to breathe, Heeseung was completely gone. Lips swollen and shiny, chest heaving like he couldnât catch his breath, eyes dark and hazy like his brain had short-circuited. A wrecked little sound slipped out of him, half-gasp, half-groanâas he stared at you, dazed and breathing hard.
Your smile embodied satisfaction as you leaned in again and pressed one slow, teasing peck to his parted lips, letting it linger just enough to make his breath hitch all over again.
Jaemin and Mina were staring like theyâd seen a ghost with their jaws dropped, faces pale, eyes wide with pure disbelief. The whole party had gone dead quiet around you, everyone watching, phones still pointed your way like this was the best drama theyâd seen all year (it probably was).
You laced your fingers with Heeseungâs, gave his hand a light squeeze, and tugged him toward the door.
âLetâs get out of here,â you murmured close to his ear, voice low and a little playful against his skin.
Heeseung didnât argue, just followed, still breathing hard, fingers gripping yours tight as the door swung shut behind you.Â
The cool night air hit your heated skin, and for the first time tonight, everything felt wide open again.
A rather loud screech right next to your left ear woke you up, and you wondered if the world had somehow been corrupted by zombies because thereâs no other explanation for such sounds, but your friend made it possible somehow.Â
You jolted, heart kicking once before your brain caught up. Sunoo was practically jumping beside your bed, phone in his hand, âone timeâone single time I decide to stay in and catch up on sleep and you create a fucking scene? Gosh, babe.â
Winter shoved the door the rest of the way open with her shoulder, hoodie sleeves pushed up to her elbows, hair still a wild mess from her deep sleep. She planted herself at the foot of your bed, arms crossed, eyes narrowing at you, âfuck, Y/N,â she said before her tone got softer, âare you okay? I fucking knew that girl was a snake from the first time she came over. And your boyfriend? I always hated him, al-fucking-ways.â
You were still blinking, eyes half open and not willing to adjust to the brightness. Right then, a chuckle escaped your lips at the memory of last nightâand you tried to remember the last time you felt so satisfied (maybe never?).Â
Sunoo dropped onto the edge of your mattress without waiting, âI always said we are your besties. The kind whoâd help you hide a body, no questions asked. Ride or die, baby.â
You sat up straight, blanket pooling around your waist, and opened your arms because of course they were right, âcome here, idiots.â
They didnât hesitate, Winter climbing on first, wrapping her arms around you like she could shield you from the whole damn world. Sunoo piled on top a second later, all limbs and very dramatic sighs, squishing the three of you into a tangled heap of familiar warmth.Â
âYeah,â you murmured into Sunooâs shoulder, voice muffled, âyou two are stuck with me.â
Winter huffed a soft laugh against your neck, âgood, because weâre not letting you deal with that snake ex-bestie and cheating ex-boyfriend shit alone. Weâre burning that chapter together.â
Sunooâs voice came out muffled too, âandâweâre keeping the video forever, that kiss looked cozy girl, what else did you doââ
You let yourself sink into the warmth for a long moment, the bone-deep numbness from yesterday easing just enough to let something real and grateful slip through. The sting of Minaâs betrayal was still there, but it felt distant nowâalmost coherent in its simplicity.Â
People drift apart, friendships end. Youâd always known that. What intrigued you more was how easily these two could make the weight feel lighter, their amiable chaos wrapping around you like a promise that some things indeed were here to stay.Â
Meanwhile, Heeseung was suffering.Â
Jay had shoved his phone into Heeseungâs face, close enough for him to make out, uh, absolutely nothing. It seemed like a blurry mess of lights until Jay yanked it back to show Heeseung a pixel version of you grabbing his jacket and pulling him into what appeared to be a passionate kiss.Â
The angle caught the exact moment his hands found your waist, the way his shoulders had tensed then eased up all at once. Heeseungâs ears burned red so fast it felt like someone had lit a match under his skin.
âBro,â Jay said, grinning, âthe video is everywhere, especially on the uni insta page for students. Someone made it into a trendâitâs actually insane.â
Before Heeseung could even form a coherent thought, the bedroom door slammed open hard enough to rattle the frame, scaring both the boys.Â
Jake came barreling in, hair still sticking up from sleep, eyes wild, âyou bitchâyou kissed Y/N? Sheâs mineâI called dibs on her months ago!â
Heeseung groaned, dragging both hands down his face, âsheâs not an object, Jake.â
âOh fuck youâyou know I like her,â Jake shot back, dropping on his knees.Â
Sunghoon strolled in next, casual as ever, one shoulder propped against the wall. He let out a low whistle and Heeseung wondered what the fuck is wrong with his friends, âso youâre what? Dating now? That was one hell of a plot twist.â
Jay sniggered, not even trying to hide it, ânah dude, you think he can handle someone like Y/N?â
Jake tried to butt in again, âI canââ but the rest of them talked right over him like usual.
Heeseung sat up slowly, the full reminder of the last night coming right back to him. The slap echoing through the room, the way youâd looked at him right before you kissed him, eyes bright with that reckless spark. The way heâd kissed you back like he enjoyed it. He swallowed hard, throat tight.
âDid I cheat on Mina?â He asked quietly.
The room went still for half a second, all three of them looked at him like heâd grown a second head. Jay let out a disbelieving laugh, âshe cheated on you while you were still together.â
âYeah but I kissed someone else literally a few minutes laterââ
âDoesnât matter,â Sunghoon cut in, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Heeseung stared at the blanket pooled over his lap, replaying the kiss againâthe heat of your mouth, the way your fingers had twisted in his hair, that soft, teasing peck you pressed to his lips after. It had been the best kiss heâd ever had. The whole situation felt far too complicated for the simple labels his friends were throwing arounf, and yet he couldnât stop the memory from looping behind his eyes.
Jay sighed, softer this time, leaning back on his elbows, âdid it feel good?â
They all looked at him. Heeseung didnât answer right away, he just swallowed again, the memory burning behind his eyes like it refused to fade.
You on the other hand were absolutely not functioning when Sunoo had a trillion questions lined up for youâall of which consisted of Heeseung. You three had just managed to make coffees when the loud knock interrupted you. A sigh was all you could manage as you opened the door to find your pathetic excuse of an ex standing there withâroses? Wow, he didnât even have the decency to remember that you were allergic.Â
He spoke up before you could, âI know i deserved that slap.â
Well, obviously.Â
âI messed upâI swear I donât want her.â He was looking at you with that pout he mustered whenever you both had disagreements.Â
You bit down your laugh, âyeah? So?â
âTake me back, baby, please?â
Right then someone flew past the door, and your mouth hung open as Sunoo straight up landed a kick on Jaeminâs thigh, resulting in him falling down with pain. Now, you laughed freely as Sunoo bent down to warn him, âstay away from her, okay?â
Jaemin turned to look at you, eyes wide, âwhatââ
âYou heard him, weâre over, Jaemin,â you shrugged, wrapping your arm around Sunoo as you both walked inside, Sunoo glaring at man till the door closed shut.Â
Jaemin stayed on the ground for a few more seconds, roses scattered around him, a thorn making him bleed just enough for him to roll his eyes.
That went well.
The afternoon sun filtered softly through the leaves of the uni garden, casting dappled shadows across the wooden bench where you sat. It had been three days since the party, and the campus still hadnât let either of you forget it. Random students kept approaching you in the hallways, the library, even the coffee lineâsome offering awkward condolences, others straight-up calling the slap and the kiss badass with wide-eyed admiration.Â
You sipped your mango matcha slowly, the garden was quiet now, just the distant hum of students walking between buildings and the soft rustle of leaves overhead. You felt normal, jolly even, like it hadnât affected you, but even you couldnât deny how good of a kiss it had been.Â
Too lost in the pdf in your iPad, you didnât notice Heeseung approaching until his shadow fell across your lap. He stopped a few feet away, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, hair still slightly messy and he somehow made it look good.
âHey,â he said, voice polite as it had always been, âcan we talk?â
You looked up, lips curving into an amiable smile, âsure, câmere sit,â you patted the empty space beside you on the bench and held out your mango matcha toward him, âwant some? Itâs good.â
Heeseung only cocked his brow, âsame straw?â
You blinked innocently, âyouâre saying that as if we didnât make out in front of the entire party three days ago.â
He stared at you for a moment, intrigued cause of your carefree answer, before he reached out and took the cup anyway. He drank without hesitation, the straw brushing his lips where yours had been moments ago, and when he lowered it, the corner of his mouth twitched.
You chuckled, watching the way his shoulders loosened just a fraction, âsoâtalk, whatâs on your mind, Heeseung?â
He handed the cup back, fingers brushing yours for a second longer than necessary, âIâve been thinking about that night. A lot.â His voice was quiet, almost hesitant, but his eyes stayed on yours, âthe kiss, the way you just handled everything. I keep replaying it and I canât make it make sense.â
You tilted your head, taking another slow sip before answering, âwhatâs there to make sense of? They cheated, we both saw it. I decided not to let it ruin my night and you were there. The kiss happenedâsimple.â
He let out a short, disbelieving breath, running a hand through his hair, âItâs not simple for me. Mina was my girlfriend, Jaemin was my best friend since freshman year. And so much happened in likeâan hour,â he paused, eyes searching your face, âdid it really not mess with you at all?â
You shrugged, âIt stung a little actually. Losing Mina as a friend after all those years felt kindaâodd? But drowning in it? Not really my thing.â Your lips curved again, âiâve never been the type to hand my whole heart over and expect it to stay put.â
Heeseung watched you for a long moment, âyou make it sound so coherent,â he muttered, almost to himself, âlike itâs all justâlogical. Meanwhile Iâve been walking around campus getting stopped by random people asking if weâre together now. Itâs been three days and I still feel like my headâs spinning.â
You laughed lightly, âsame here, a guy offered to buy me coffee because I deserved better, Itâs weirdly entertaining.â
Heeseungâs mouth twitched into a half-smile, the first real one youâd seen from him today, âyeah, even my friend Jake was sort of, how do I even put it? But yeah, he wasnât thrilled, hes got some crush on you.âÂ
Your eyes sparkled, âwait, isnât he the cute one with an accent? I like him.â
He shook his head at how you would probably encourage Jake, the thought was rather unsettling, then looked at you again, more serious, âbut, yâknowâthe kiss, that part wasnât just for show.â
That made you pause for a moment, and you held his gaze, intrigued by the way he was looking at youâlike he was trying to figure out how someone could be so calm in the middle of the wreckage.
âSo what are you saying?â You asked, voice soft but direct, âyou regret it?â
âNo,â he answered almost immediately, âI donât regret it, thatâs the problem. It felt good and I keep wondering what the hell that means when everything else is such a mess.â
You leaned back against the bench, letting the sun warm your face for a second, âit doesnât have to mean anything big, I meanâwe both got screwed over.â You watched how pretty he looked under the sunlight, lips slightly red cause heâd been biting them, âmaybe we donât overthink it. Maybe we justâjust see where it goes.â
Heeseung took the cup again, fingers brushing yours once more, and this time he didnât pull away right away, âyouâre really okay with that?â
You smiled, âIâm okay with a lot of things, Heeseung. Especially if they feel good.â
Neither of you said anything more for a moment. The conversation didnât need to be solved today, for now, sitting here with him, sharing the same straw and the same tension, felt like enough.
Heeseung has always been a man of few words, but even those little words seemed to disappear when you were around. And the worst part? You werenât even aware of it.
You werenât the one to intrude on anyoneâs personal space, and that included Heeseung, much to his relief (or dismay?), he was justâconfused.
A week had slipped by since the garden talk, and the quiet tension between you two had only grown heavier. Heâd spent the days avoiding Minaâs messages, the knot in his chest tightening every time her name appeared. But youâyou were everywhere. In literature class you sat three rows ahead, never together, but he stared. He couldnât stop noticing the way the light caught the curve of your neck when you leaned over your notes, the soft way your fingers tapped the edge of your pen, the small, absent smile that played on your lips when something in the lecture amused you. Every stolen glance left him more tangled than the last.
Tonight the restlessness had won. He pulled on a hoodie and walked to the 24-hour convenience store near the dorms, craving something mindless like his ride or dieâramen to quiet the noise in his head.
The annoyingly white lights buzzed overhead as he stepped inside, grabbing a basket and turning down the snack aisle, mind still half-lost in yesterdayâs class when youâd stretched and your shirt had ridden up just enough toâ
He stopped just then, cause you were right there,
standing in the middle of the aisle in soft pink pajama shorts that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs and a matching oversized hoodie that had slipped off one shoulder, you looked unfairly soft and warm, like youâd just rolled out of bed. Your hair was a little messy, and you were reaching up for a pack of strawberry gummies, the hem of the shorts riding higher with the movement.
Heeseungâs mouth went dry, and he wanted to slap himself for acting like a fucking creep.
You turned at the sound of his footsteps, eyes meeting his across the narrow aisle. A slow smile curved your lips, the same one that had been haunting him for days.
âHey,â you waved at him, like running into each other at midnight in pajamas was the most normal thing in the world, âcouldnât sleep either?â
Heeseung swallowed, stepping closer despite the way his pulse kicked up. The faint scent of your shampoo clinging to your hair, âneeded ramen, the boys emptied the fridge I swear,â he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck.
You nodded in understanding, âsame lowkeyâwas staring at the ceiling but then decided to get out.â You tilted your head, looking at him a little closer, eyes tracing the tired lines on his face, âyou look like youâve got a lot going on up there. Want to talk about it while we walk back?â
Heeseung hesitated for half a second, then nodded, âyeah, sounds good.â
You paid for your stuff together, the cashier barely glancing up, and stepped back out into the cool night air. The walk was easy at first, with absolutely no words being exchanged, your shoulders brushed every few steps, Heeseung kept his hands in his pockets, but he could feel the warmth of you next to him, the soft brush of your hoodie sleeve against his every time you shifted.
âBeen a week,â he said after a few minutes, âMina keeps texting, and of course I havenât answered. It feels weird ignoring her, but answering would feel worse.â
You hummed, glancing at him sideways, âI get that. Sometimes the easiest thing is just to let it sit there until it stops stinging, yâknow?â Your arm bumped his again as you walked, and you didnât pull away, âyou holding up okay with all of it?â
He just nodded, granting you a smile which made the corner of your lips lift up too, and he asked you the same, to which you laughed as if nothing had even happened.Â
It was so nice just walking beside you, even in silence, at this cursed hour of midnight, though Heeseung would argue and say that he felt more awake now than he did the whole day.Â
The dorm buildings came into view too soon, but then Heeseung saw something that made his steps falter on the pavement, body going rigid right beside you. It made you follow his line of sight, and of courseâMina was there, walking straight towards his building, head down and mind completely focused on her phone. She hadnât noticed you yet, but it was clear that she was going to approach Heeseung.Â
âShit,â he muttered under his breath, panic flashing across his features in a way you could feel it reach you too.
Before you could provide him with two words of comfort, his hand slid around your waist, fingers spreading wide and warm through the thin fabric of your hoodie. He pulled you in close, so close that your side pressed flush against his, the heat of his body juxtaposing the chill of the air. His palm was steady but his fingers trembled a little against your hip as you caught the faint scent of his cologne, it was clean and woody, just how you liked it.Â
âPlay along, please?â He whispered urgently against your ear, voice rougher now.
You only chuckled, leaning into him as if youâd done it before, slipping your arm around his back, fingers resting lightly against the small of his back. Your head tilted up towards him, a soft smile curving up as you looked at him. Heeseung was flushed cause, damn were you good at acting.Â
âGot it,â you murmured back.
Mina looked up at the exact moment, eyes widened at the sight, a gasp leaving her lips as she watched Heeseungâs hand slide lower on your back as you reached his dorm door.
You didnât even realize you were biting your bottom lip until Heeseungâs gaze dropped straight to it, his breath hitched, thumb pausing on your cheek as his other hand came up to cup your face, warm palms cradling your jaw like he was afraid you might pull away.
âCan I?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes searching yours.
You didnât answer, just leaned in, closing the small gap between you, and pulled him into the kiss.
Your lips met his softly at first and Heeseung made a quiet sound against your mouth, his hands cupping your face fully now, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as he kissed you back. The taste of him was faint, a hint of the cherry juice he must have had earlier. Your own hands slid up his chest, fisting lightly in his hoodie as you tilted your head to kiss him a little deeper.
When you finally pulled back, Heeseungâs eyes were dark and a little dazed, lips parted and cheeks flushed. His thumbs were still stroking your cheeks, reluctant to let go.
Mina stood frozen a few feet away, face pale, cause she swore to herself it was an act, but this? It didnât seem like one.Â
Heeseung didnât look at her, just tightening his grip on your waist and guided you through the door, pulling you inside with him. The warmth of his palm stayed glued to the small of your back the whole way, steady now, like he needed the contact to stay grounded.
Inside the apartment, Jake was sprawled on the couch in the living room, a half-eaten pizza box open on the coffee table, some mindless show playing low on the TV. He froze mid-bite when he saw you, eyes going wide.
You smiled, bright and completely at ease, like showing up at this hour with Heeseungâs arm still around you was the most normal thing in the world, âohâhey. Jake, right?â
âY/N? Uh yesâhi, youâre here?â Jake stuttered, making Hee roll his eyes.
You just walked over to him, dropping onto the couch beside him acting all normal though your heartbeat said otherwise, âyeah! Mind if I steal a bite?â
Jake blinked, then grinned like an idiot and lifted the slice he was holding right to your mouth, âhere, go for it.â
You leaned in and took a bite straight from his hand, cheese stretching between your fingers as you chewed, âmhm, this is actually good, thanks.â
Jakeâs face lit up even more, âright? You can have the whole slice if you want.â
Heeseung stood there watching the whole thing, jaw tight. He lasted about five seconds before he groaned low in his throat, âalright, thatâs enough.â He crossed the room in two quick strides, caught your wrist gently but firmly, and tugged you up from the couch, âcâmon.â
You let him pull you up, giving Jake a little wave over your shoulder, ânight, Jakey. Thanks for the pizza.â
Jake just waved back, still grinning, âanytime!â
The second Heeseungâs door clicked shut behind you, silence filled the roomâit was dim, lit only by the desk lamp, the air suddenly too warm and too small. Heeseungâs back pressed against the door, eyes dark and fixed on you before he walked over and plopped on his bed.Â
You clicked your tongue, tilting your head at him, ânow sheâs gonna think weâre dating.â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, looking genuinely sorry, âyeahâI know. Iâm so sorryâI just panicked and pulled you into this whole thing. You didnât have to go along with it.â
You shrugged, stepping closer until you were right in front of him. Then, without warning, you turned and sat right down on his lap, straddling his thighs like it was the most natural thing in the world. Heeseungâs breath caught, hands instinctively landing on your hips to steady you, eyes wide with surprise.
âI did kiss you first at the party,â you said, âso itâs kinda my fault too.â
Heeseungâs fingers flexed on your hips, holding you there. He gulped, throat bobbing visibly as he looked up at you, âso, now what?â he asked, voice rough.
You shrugged again, still sitting comfortably on his lap, fingers playing with the collar of his hoodie, âitâs your call, Hee.â
You kept talking as Heeseung pondered deeply about his choices. He didnât register you saying something about how Jakeâs face was priceless because Heeseung wasnât listening anymore. His eyes had dropped to the exposed line of your clavicle where your hoodie had slipped down, tracing the smooth skin there, then moving up to your lipsâstill a little shiny from the greasy pizza, slightly parted as you spoke. The way you were sitting on him, the soft weight of you on his thighsâit was too stimulating for him.Â
He didnât say anything, just leaned in and kissed you hard, mouth practically crashing into yours, one hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck, the other staying firm on your hip to keep you right where you were. There was nothing hesitant about it this timeâit was hungry, deep. His tongue brushed yours, and he groaned quietly into the kiss, the sound vibrating against your lips. You could feel the way his fingers tightened in your hair, the way his chest rose and fell fast against yours, the way his body reacted instantly to having you on his lap like this.
You kissed him back just as hard, hands sliding up his chest to fist in his hoodie. A soft moan slipped out of you when he sucked on your bottom lip, and Heeseung made this low, wrecked sound in response, hips shifting under you.
âFuck,â he breathed against your mouth, barely pulling back, âthis okay? Tell me if you want to stop.â
You shook your head, lips brushing his as you answered, voice already breathy, âdonât stopâkeep going.â
He groaned and kissed you harder, tongue sliding against yours as one hand slid under your hoodie, palm warm on your bare back. You rocked your hips down against him and he moaned into your mouth, the sound raw.
You pulled back just enough to speak, forehead resting against his, âwe doing this then?â You breathed against his lips, âno strings, just whenever we want or need?â
Heeseung swore you could read minds, âyeah,â he sighed in pleasure, âI want thatâyou and me, no strings.â
You smiled against his lips and kissed him again, deeper, grinding down slowly, âgood fucking boy.â
He groaned louder, the sound vibrating through you as his fingers dug into your thighs, âshitâIâve been so fucking pent up,â he muttered between kisses, hips rolling up to meet yours, âall week because of you.â
You moaned softly, rocking against him again with a chuckle, âthatâs adorable, keep going, yeah? Donât stop.â
He flipped you suddenly, laying you on your back and settling between your thighs. The new position made you both moanâthe weight of him pressing you into the mattress, lips chasing yours mindlessly as his tongue slid against yours, hand tracing higher under your hoodie, hips grinding down slowly.Â
âGod, you feel good,â he muttered, pulling you down for another kiss.
You nodded, moaning softly into his mouth, âso do you.â
The room filled with the sounds of lips, heavy breathing, and quiet moans as you kept moving together, hands roaming, bodies pressing closer. The conversation faded into breathy words and soft sounds between kisses, and honestly, both of you didnât care about much anymore. You both were just two horny adults functioning on a verbal agreement with no rules whatsoever.Â
Outside in the living room, Jake had just taken another bite of pizza when the first loud moan drifted through the door. His eyes widened with betrayalâthe slice slipping from his fingers and landed cheese-side down on the floor with a pathetic splat.
He stared at the closed door for a long second, mouth still full.
âWellâshit.â
You didnât know that the consequences of spending one night with Heeseung could be so dire, granted you didnât go beyond some innocent humping which bestowed you with the absolute pleasure of seeing Heeseung desperate and flushed underneath you.Â
The question bugged youâwhy would Mina even wish to leave such a beautiful man whoâs very willing to provide pleasure?Â
You were still turning that over in your head as you walked down the hallway, iPad tucked under your arm, one AirPod in, but your mind was elsewhereâwhich was odd considering you never were the kind to just stand and ponder about random things, during the day time at least. The last time it happened was when you were a kid and Zayn had left One direction.Â
Regardless, you chuckled at the idea of Heeseung being the one to garner your attention, since you never saw him in that light beforeâsomething about friendsâ partners being inanimate to you. Either way, you started walking back towards your dorm since the lectures were over, only to be stopped by Mina blocking your path with a scowl on her face.Â
You raised an eyebrow, âhey?âÂ
âWe need to talk,â she huffed, looking rather tired, maybe with the way people stopped the second they sensed any drama, and why wouldnât they? You both were the centre of it given the circumstances.Â
âDo we really?â You gave her a lazy look, knowing well it bothered her.Â
Her jaw clenched. âYou kissed Heeseung. In front of everyone. While he was still with me.â
A couple more heads turned. You could feel eyes on you now, phones probably already sliding out of pockets.
You let out a short breath, almost a laugh, âwhile he was still with you? Thatâs rich. Last time I checked, you were the one fucking my boyfriend in his dorm with the door wide open. I walked in on you two, actually. So maybe donât lecture me about cheating.â
Minaâs cheeks flushed, âthatâs not the sameââ
âIt kind of is,â you cut in, keeping your voice even, âHeeseung didnât deserve to find out like that, neither of us did, but at least I didnât sneak around for months like a coward. And yeah, I kissed himâIâd do it again. Heâs too good for the way you two treated him.â
Minaâs eyes flashed with anger, âyouâre no better than me. You basically cheated tooââ
âBro, are you actually serious right now?â
A tall guy with messy black hair and a skateboard tucked under his arm stepped out from the edge of the crowd. Youâd seen him around in a couple electives. He looked Mina up and down, completely unimpressed, having seen the scene at the party in flesh too.Â
âEveryoneâs seen the video,â he said, loud enough that the people nearby nodded, âI literally saw you and Jaemin at the party. Youâre the one who cheated, leave her alone.â
A girl a few feet away nodded like she agreed. Mina glanced around at all the stares, lips pressed tight, then spun on her heel and shoved through the crowd, practically running toward the exit.
You let out a real laugh this time, almost like you couldnât believe this was real, that your own friend would turn against you in such a manner. Riki turned to you, one corner of his mouth lifting.
âDamn,â he said, âthat was satisfying.â
âYeah,â you agreed, still chuckling as you started walking again, âthanks for stepping in. You really didnât have to.â
He shrugged, falling into step beside you, âsheâs been trying to change the perception, i saw her lying to my friend earlier. Someone had to say it. Iâm Riki by the way, or Ni-ki, whatever.â
âY/N,â you said, bumping his shoulder lightly, âseriously, I owe you a coffee for that.â
âBet,â he smirked, already pulling his phone out, âjust text me whenever. Iâm free most afternoons.â
Ten feet away, half-hidden behind a cluster of students, Heeseung had stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. Jay almost walked straight into his back, headphones on so conveniently, he missed the whole commotion.Â
âYou good?â He asked, lifting one side of his headphones, âHeeseung?â He asked yet again when he didnât get a reply.Â
How would he? When Heeseung was deep in thoughts, the tips of his ears red. Everyone knew he was the guy who kept to himself, not the kind to insert himself into a fightâeventually leading to him never getting into a situation where heâd have to defend himself.Â
But you did it so naturally with not a single hint of him witnessing the scene. It was heartwarming to say the least, the way you defended him so casually but your tone clearly portraying the care you harboured for him, even if it was little (as per Heeseung and his never ending self doubt).Â
Before Jay could wave a hand in front of his face, Jake came barreling around the corner like he was late for everything in life, backpack slipping off one shoulder. Without missing a beat he lunged forward, locking an arm around Heeseungâs neck and yanking him down into a tight headlock.Â
âSpill it right nowâthe hell did you do with Y/N last night, huh? Iâm not letting go till you talk, dude, I swear to godââ
Much to his dismay, Heeseung pushed him off with ease, âthe fuck? Get off,â he said, staring at Jake who looked like he hadnât slept at all.Â
Jay was completely lost, headphones now resting on his neck, âwhat am I missing here exactly? What even happened?â
Heeseung groaned, ânothing happenedââÂ
âNah, he took Y/N to his room and then I heard moans. Moansâdo you fucking get it? Heâs actually fucking her.â Jake ranted, eyes blown wide.Â
Jayâs eyebrows shot up, âwait, what? For real?â
Heeseung shoved Jake off properly this time, cheeks burning as he fixed his hoodie, âItâs notâfuck, can you not yell that in the middle of the hallway?â
Jake threw his hands up, looking genuinely offended, âIâm sorry, I was trying to eat pizza and process the fact that my dream girl was getting railed by my roommate. You couldâve at least given me a heads-up, man.â
Jay let out a low whistle, finally catching on. He crossed his arms, which had gotten muscular somehow, âso, you and Y/N? Like, actually?â
Heeseung rubbed a hand over his face, ears still red, âwe have an arrangement of sorts. No strings attached, thatâs it.â
Jake stared at him like heâd been shot in the chest, âno strings? She deserves love, she deserves aftercare and pampering andââ
Jay was never good at hiding his amusement, especially if it consisted of embarrassing one of his friends, âyou sure you can actually do the no-strings thing? Youâre the guy who gets attached after one good conversation. Remember that girl from school who just smiled at you in the library and you were googling how to ask someone on a date at two a.m.?â
âShut the fuck up,â Heeseung muttered, but the corner of his mouth twitched with his mind drifting back to you.Â
Jake however, wasnât done. He threw his hands up again, âIâm serious, I even fucking dropped the pizza slice she ate from.â
Jay snorted, âyouâre never gonna let that go noq, are you?â
âNever,â Jake said, dead serious, âthat couldâve been our indirect kiss.â
Heeseung shook his head, finally starting to walk again so they wouldnât be late for class, âItâs fine. Weâre both adults, itâll be okay.â
Jay fell into step beside him, clapping him on the back a little too hard, âyeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that, I give it ten days before youâre buying her flowers and writing her name in your notes with hearts around it.â
âTwo weeks,â Jake corrected, still sulking, âmax.â
Heeseung didnât bother arguing. He just shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and kept walking, the stupid little smile refusing to leave his face completely.
You, meanwhile, had no idea any of that chaos had just exploded behind you. You groaned, sitting down on the couch, despising the silence that greeted you. Winter had gone to her family home for her cousinâs wedding, and Sunoo had conveniently decided to spend the night over at Hoonâs to torture him with some horror movie.Â
And you were here, unsure of what to do tonight, and the newfound interest youâd found within your exâs best friend.Â
Whatever this was, it was definitely going to be interesting.
Turns out, the night wasnât about to be boring at all. You had just gotten under the warmth of your duvet as your phone lit up, a text brightening your lock screen. Evidently, you seemed to be lurking in Heeseungâs mind as much as he had started persisting in yours.Â
Heeseung: you up?Â
You: thatâs such a fuckboy questionÂ
Heeseung: oh shit i didnt mean it that way
You: hm? whatâs it thenÂ
Heeseung: js felt like textingÂ
You clicked your tongue, rolling to your side, phone propped up against your fluffy pink pillow.Â
You: mhm sure
You: what are you doing rn then
The typing bubble popped up, disappeared, then popped up againâa proper reminder of how Heeseungâs personality shone through even through his texting patterns.Â
Heeseung: just lying in bed
Heeseung: canât sleep for some reason
A second later your phone vibrated with a picture, a selfie to be precise. It was rather cinematic how Heeseung appeared to look even prettier with dim lights, messy dark hair falling into his eyes, no shirt, just the chain he always wore catching the light. He looked way too good for someone who was just lying in bed, lips slightly parted and swollen like heâd been biting them. The angle showed the sharp line of his collarbone and that adamâs apple, a few marks evident on his skin, courtesy of you.Â
You stared for a second longer than you meant to, completely zoned in how beautiful a few marks made him look.Â
You: oh wowÂ
You: donât you look dashing at one in the morningÂ
Heeseung only let out a breathy laugh, clearly preening under your praise, as if he hadnât clicked eight pictures just so he could send you the most perfect one, in his standards at least.Â
Heeseung: your turnÂ
The corner of your lip twitched up as you sat a little, tugged the neckline of your oversized tee down just enough so the soft swell of your tits spilled over the fabric, nipples barely hidden. You angled the camera, snapped it, and hit send without overthinking, knowing that the reply would come within seconds, and so it did.Â
Heeseung: fuck
Heeseung: youâre actually evil
You laughed under your breath and sent another one right after, taking off your tee fully, letting him know how hard your nipples had gotten already.Â
You: now you. donât be shy baby
Heeseung sent back a shot of his hand shoved down his sweats, gripping himself. The outline was obvious, the tip of his cock peeking out above the waistband, flushed and already leaking. Then another oneâhis hand mid-stroke, thumb smearing the precum over the head. A low, rather shaky breath left his lips in the process, and he swore he hadnât ever been the type to be soâso evidently horny before.Â
Youâd say you bring out the worst in people, but Heeseung would contradict it with a goofy smile saying how itâs the absolute best. With that thought, he hit sent.Â
Heeseung: this is what you do to me
Your mouth went dry, the picture being enough for you to spread your legs under the duvet, only to push the duvet away entirely before angling your phone properly to ensure the slick on your cunt would be visible in the picture.Â
You: see what youâre missing?
Heeseung: jesus christ iâm actually throbbing
You bit down on your bottom lip, absolutely letting the pleasure of having Heeseung in control take over. So, instead of texting back, you tapped the voice message button and held it down.
Your voice came through low and teasing, a little breathy already.
âAw, poor baby, youâre throbbing just from a picture? Câmon, lemme hear how good it feels, hm?â
You sent it without thinking twice, and he was quick to listen, his dick twitching just as he heard your voice. A few seconds later his voice message came backâhusky, a little embarrassed, but clearly turned on.Â
âFuckâyouâre so mean,â he whispered, which almost came out as a whine, âIâm so hard it hurts. Iâm stroking it slow at first, like thisââ You could hear the faint, wet sound of his hand moving, âbut I keep thinking about how wet you looked in that last pic. Want my mouth on you so bad right now.â
You caressed your clit gently, letting your head fall back at his not so shy admissions. It was hot how he didnât shy away from speaking his mind.Â
âHmm, good boyâkeep stroking just like that. Faster now, I want to hear how desperate you sound for me. Tell me exactly what youâd do if you were here.â
His next voice message was even shakier, breathing heavier.
âIâd pull you on top of me, let you grind on my cock while you tell me how you want it. FuckâIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd suck on your tits while you ride me, make you moan my name louder, please take my name, please?â
You let out a soft, breathy moan right into your reply.
âYeah? You like when I boss you around, Heeseung? Touch yourself exactly how I would. Tighten your gripâI know youâre close already, arenât you?â
Heeseungâs voice cracked in the next voice note, barely above a whisper.
âShitâyeah, Iâm so close, your voice is driving me insane. Ah, fuck, wanna bury my face between your thighs right nowââ
You were breathing harder too, fingers moving faster. You sent one last voice message, letting your voice be sultry.Â
âThen cum for me, Hee. Let me hear it. I want you moaning my name when you do.â
That did it for him, he could barely even keep the phone in his hand, shivering at the hyper awareness of it all, of you.Â
Somehow, you knew exactly the predicament he was undergoing, and you decided to spare the poor man, hitting the call button to free his hands. He picked up after a single ring.Â
âFuckâyouâre actually perfect,â he panted, the wet sound of his hand still audible. âIâve never been this gone from just voice messages before.â
You laughed softly, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a quiet moan, âthen donât stop. Stroke it faster for me, yeah? Be good, I want to hear every sound you make while you think about fucking me.â
Heeseung groaned, clearly trying (and failing) to stay quiet because of his friends, who were in the living room. âFeels so good but itâs not enoughâI keep imagining you riding me, telling me to go harder, shit,ââ
âYouâre doing so well,â you praised, clenching around your fingers as he moans out your name, âimagine itâs my pussy instead of your hand. Iâm so fucking wet for you right now. Youâd slide in so easy, wouldnât you?â
âYeahâfuck, I would,â he whimpered, âIâd let you use me however you want. Iâd let you choke me while you ride me, I donât even care anymoreââ
You moaned louder, fingers curling just right, âyeah, yeah, just keep talking like that and Iâm gonna cum, be good câmon, youâll cum with me, yeah?â
Heeseungâs breathing turned ragged, desperate little sounds slipping out, âiâm so closeâgonnaâfuck, Y/Nââ
You came first, moaning his name all soft and filthy into the phone. He followed right after with a choked groan, trying to muffle it against his pillow but failing miserably, and god knows what would happen if Sunoo (who was there all thanks to Sunghoon) was to witness this.Â
For a long moment the only thing between you was heavy breathing.
Then Heeseung let out a soft, wrecked little laugh, making you grin lazily, âyou did so well, Hee.â
He didnât expect that, making him whine again, and you swore you could run to see him all flushed and blushing, âyouâre so perfect.â
Your breath hitched at his whispered words, gulping as you stayed silent, letting your breathing even out. He was quiet for a beat too, but his mind wasnât stopping at that.Â
âHey, uh I saw what you did earlier, in the hallway, with Mina.â
You blinked, surprised, âwait, you were there?â
âYeah. I was a little further back, but i heard everything.â His voice dropped, almost like he was in awe, âthe way you shut her down for meâdefended me like that without even thinking. It was really fucking hot. Couldnât stop thinking about it all night, thatâs why I texted you.â
You let out a low chuckle at how unpredictable he was, âso thatâs the real reason you were sending me nudes and moaning my name like a desperate little slut at one a.m., huh?â
If praises led Heeseung to moan, the degradation caused him to cryânot in a bad way of course. It was new for him too, as if he was learning about himself through you. And the voice you heard was beautiful, a broken cry of his desperation.Â
âI see youâre into degradation,â you pointed out.Â
âFucking hell, even I didnât know,â he breathed out, eyes closing.Â
You only smirked, getting closer to the phone now.
âWanna test how it plays out?â
âWhy the fuck did Hoon just tell me youâre fucking Heeseung?âÂ
It was rather hard to distinguish his tone when he sounded both impressed and mad. Turns out, he was mad since he didnât hear it from you first, then, he was impressed with how fast you moved on. Regardless, he didnât let you live that down, trying to force the group together, only to see Heeseung squirming and you being absolutely normal.Â
You were sitting cross-legged on your bed, still in the oversized hoodie youâd thrown on after your morning shower, when Sunoo burst through the door, Winter followed, sipping an iced latte and looking far too amused for someone who was supposed to be your emotional support. And so another interrogation session took place, which you survived (somehow).Â
Other than that, things had been normal. A few changes did occur such as you all having lunch together, even Winter invited her girlfriend, making the group seem livelier than ever. Jake made it his mission to sit next to you each time, and Heeseungâwell, he stared at you more than he ate.Â
That pattern followed you straight into your English lecture later that afternoon. You slipped into your usual seat in the middle row, barely five minutes late, when Riki dropped into the chair right beside you, and you looked up at him, surprised.Â
Heeseung walked in later, eyes on how you greeted the guy easily, and with that, he almost walked into someone. He could only manage to groan, because why wouldnât you talk to him? To be fair, you did talk to him, like a friend, but never more, no initiation of any sort. Heeseung was the one who texted first, and he didnât mind, but with how soft hearted he was, he probably wouldnât mind you texting first either.Â
That being said, Heeseung was basically sulk incarnate watching how you made plans to give Riki a coffee for some reasonâwas it a date? Why would you even like that tall kid? Heeseung knew you better despite the little time he spent with you. It was a given that you didnât offer much about yourself despite your outgoing personality, but he did know how you played with your nails, how your eyes go wide when you eat something good, and how fucking good you sound moaning his name.Â
âWeâre all going to the cafe,â Sunoo chirped the second you stepped outside after the class, Heeseung following behind to see all his friends standing there too.Â
You did find it odd how he was silent today, too silent, even worse when he didnât try to initiate any conversation with you, just falling into step with his friends instead. His hands were shoved deep in his hoodie pockets, shoulders a little hunched as the group started moving.
Halfway there he slowed down just enough to tug Jayâs sleeve, voice low and trying way too hard to sound casual, âHey, can you do me a favour?â
Jay only raised his brow, urging him to continue, âuh, so when we sit down, maybe ask Y/N something thatâll get her talking, like the stuff going on in her life, just anything.â
Jay stopped dead for half a second, then let out a loud, wheezing laugh that practically bounced off the buildings. The sound was so sudden and genuine that you actually turned around mid-conversation with Karina and Winter, eyebrows raised like you were trying to figure out what was so funny. Jay just waved you off, still cracking up as he clapped Heeseung on the back a little too hard.
âYouâre actually hopeless,â Jay wheezed, trying to keep his voice down but failing miserably, âjust talk to her yourself, what the fuck.â
Heeseung shoved him off, cheeks hot, âshut up, man. Justâjust do it, okay? Please.â
Jay sat there as a witness to Heeseungâs internal breakdown, and well, happiness caused by two seconds of your undivided attention. In the midst of it all, everyone gave their orders, famished beyond words for some reason. The table was lively still, Jake trying to initiate conversations with you, even though Heeseung had not so subtly kicked him under the table to shut him up.Â
Jay waited until there was a small lull, then leaned forward with that lazy grin of his.
âSo Y/N,â he said casually, like it was no big deal, âwhatâs the deal with you and Heeseung lately? You two been hanging out a lot or what? Heâs been weirdly smiley these days.â
Heeseungâs heart did a stupid little flip, face clearly trying to play it cool, but his eyes were glued to you, waiting.
You took a sip of your drink and shrugged, knowing that if you say anything remotely wrong, Sunoo and Winter would be on your ass about it, âitâs nice hanging out with him, heâs funny.â
Jay snorted at how Heeseungâs smile widened, âfunny, huh? Thatâs all youâre giving us?â
Before you could answer, Jake jumped in, mouth full of his cup ramen, which he somehow got into the cafe, âgod, I shouldnât have gotten Shin, Iâm telling you, nothing beats Buldak. You team Buldak too, Y/N?â
Jake immediately turned to you with those big puppy eyes, âcâmon, tell him heâs wrong. Buldak or nothing, right?â
Sunoo and Sunghoon couldnât even stand this, staring at Jake with the same expression of disgust, his fascination for you was genuinely funny.Â
You looked up at Hee, who waited for your answer with shiny eyes, then back at Jake again. Maybe teasing Heeseung wouldnât hurt, right? Especially when he looked so innocent and serious about your input as if it mattered.Â
âI mean, Buldak is definitely good,â you agreed with Jake, taking another sip of your mango matcha.Â
Jake beamed at the reply, bumping your shoulder. But Heeseungâs smile faltered for a second, and you almost frowned, not expecting him to surrender, âyeah, fair enough,â he muttered, staying silent the rest of the time, eyes flicking up to you every few seconds, while you observed him openly.
Jay only sighed, and somehow Winter was just as exhausted at the exchange, because Heeseung couldnât hide his feelings to save his life, and you?
You were missing the point of this little conversation entirely.Â
When everyone finally started packing up for their next lectures, the group split off in different directions. You noticed Heeseung hanging back a little, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders still hunched as he walked alone. With a chuckle, you jogged a couple steps, and grabbed his hand.
Heeseung startled hard, eyes going wide as he looked down at your fingers laced with his, and how perfect your new acrylics looked, the touch being enough to make a shiver go up his spine, âY/Nâ?â
You only walked further, swinging your joined hands, âwhy so silent today?â You asked, looking up at him with a brow raised.Â
He let out a small breath, eyes flickering back to where your thumb brushed his knuckles, âitâs nothing, just thinking I guess.â
âHm, about how I picked Buldak over Shin?â You tilted your head, âyou got all quiet after that. Kinda cute, actually.â
Heeseung glanced away, the corner of his mouth twitching despite himself, âItâs not that, but Jake looked happy, soâyeah.â
âShinâs my favourite actually, I only said Buldak to see you fight back, but yeah,â you shrugged with a smile.Â
Heeseungâs head snapped back toward you, surprised, âwait, really?â
Heeseungâs steps slowed at the implication, and it showed on his face, mixed with the fondness of the simple fact that you noticed such little things. He wasnât the kind of guy who needed grand gestures, yes heâd appreciate it, but the little things mattered more.Â
âYouânoticed that?â He asked quietly, almost shy.
You hummed, then leaned up on your toes, lips brushing the shell of his ear, âyou can eat something else too if you want.â
That sent him into this mode of short circuiting, and before he could even form a reply, you let go of his hand with a bright, mischievous laugh and took off running ahead across the path, glancing back at him over your shoulder with that same playful grin.
Heeseung stood there for half a second, face burning, your words looping in his head like a damn song on repeat. Then a big, flustered smile broke across his face and he took off after you, knowing heâd catch up to you in no time.Â
âFuck,â he yelled, half-laughing as he chased you down the walkway, âyou canât just say that and runâget back here!â
He really hoped it could always stay this easy with you.
You fell on your mattress with a thud, the springs creaking under the sudden weight of both of you. Heeseung landed right on top, chest pressed to yours, mouth already chasing yours in a hungry, desperate kiss that tasted like the faint strawberry from his drink earlier.Â
His lips were hot and insistent, tongue sliding against yours like he couldnât get close enough, letting out every bit of his frustration into this kiss. One of his hands shoved under your hoodie and straight into your shorts, two fingers gliding through your slick folds before pushing inside you without hesitation. You gasped into his mouth, thighs falling open wider as he curled them deep, stroking that spot that made your back arch clean off the bed.
âFuck, youâre soaked,â he breathed against your lips, and you only sank in further, kissing all the way down to his neck, letting an open mouthed kiss linger on his adamâs apple, feeling it blobbing under you as he gulped in need, as if parched.Â
Heeseung let out a shaky groan, fingers stuttering inside you for a second before he doubled down, thrusting them deeper, curling harder, âshitâyouâre gonna make me lose it just from that.â
You smiled against his throat, sucking lightly, then dragged your teeth over the same spot while your hand kept working his cock in slow, tight strokes. He was throbbing in your palm, hot and slick with precum, hips twitching every time your thumb swept over the head, and you almost moaned cause he was big.Â
But it wasnât enough, you wanted him under you, wanted to watch him fall apart.
You pushed at his chest, flipping him onto his back in one smooth motion. Heeseung let out a surprised grunt as you straddled his thighs, yanking his pants and boxers down just far enough. His cock sprang free, flushed dark and glistening, curving up against his stomach.
Wrapping your fingers around his base as you leaned in to give his tip a slow kiss, making him moan shamelessly, âwaitâyou donât have to,â he managed to let out.Â
You looked up at him, lips brushing the wet slit as you spoke, âI know, I want to,â you whispered, âbeen thinking about having you in my mouth since you were sulking on the way here, just to apologize, yâknow?â
Instead of answering, you took him in, lips stretching around the thick head, tongue pressing flat against the underside as you sank down. The taste of him filled your mouth, salty and warm, and you moaned softly around his length.
âShitâbaby,â Heeseungâs hand flew to your hair, holding on like he needed something to ground him, his thighs tensing under you, âyour mouth feelsâso fucking good.â
You hummed in response, taking him deeper until he bumped the back of your throat. You relaxed around him, swallowing, and he let out a broken groan, hips twitching up before he caught himself.
âSorryâgosh I didnât mean to,â he whispered.Â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips shiny, a thin string of spit still connecting you to him, âdonât apologize. Fuck my throat if you want to.â You stroked him slow and firm, eyes locked on his, âI can take it, I want you to use me.â
Heeseungâs eyes darkened. Heâd never done this before, sure heâd gotten blowjobs, but the permission to take in full control of it? Oh, he swore he was gonna die, âyouâre gonna kill me saying shit like that.â
You chuckled and sank back down, taking him all the way until your nose brushed his stomach. You held there for a second, throat fluttering around him, before you started moving, wet bobs of your head, hand twisting around the base.
Heeseungâs head fell back against the pillow, a wrecked moan spilling out, âfuck, fuckâoh my god.â His fingers tightened in your hair, not forcing, but guiding you a little now, testing the waters, âyou like this? Being on your knees for me?â
You moaned around him in answer, the vibration making his hips jerk. You pulled off with a gasp, spit dripping down your chin, âI like when you stop being so polite and just take what you want.â You licked a slow stripe up the underside, eyes never leaving his, âyouâre always so sweet, Hee, but i also know how desperate you are, wonât you show it to me like a good fucking boy?â
Heeseungâs breath stuttered, it was almost like a switch flipping. His grip in your hair tightened just a fraction more, and when you took him back in, he let himself thrust up a little, shallow and careful at first.
âLike this?â He asked, voice strained, âtell me if itâs too much.â
You pulled off just enough to speak, lips brushing the head, âHarder, I can take it. Use my throat, baby.â
The words seemed to break something in him. He groaned deep in his chest and started moving his hips with more purpose, fucking into your mouth in short, needy thrusts. You relaxed your throat and let him, moaning encouragement around his cock every time he pushed deeper.
âFuck, fuckâyouâre so good,â he panted, voice cracking, âso fucking good at this. Look at youâtaking me so deep.â His free hand came down to cup your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek while he watched himself disappear between your lips, âI didnât know I liked this so much, watching you choke on me.â
You moaned louder, the praise and the way he was starting to lose control making heat flood between your legs. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking harder, and Heeseungâs head tipped back again, a string of curses falling from his lips.
âBabyâslow down or Iâm gonna cum,â he warned, but his hips kept moving, like he couldnât stop himself, âyouâre really gonna let me cum down your throat?â
You pulled off with a wet pop, stroking him fast and tight, lips hovering just over the tip, âlet me taste you.â
Heeseungâs eyes rolled back as he came with a broken moan of your name, hips jerking as he spilled down your throat in hot pulses. You swallowed every drop, working him through it until he was trembling and oversensitive, little whimpers slipping out every time your tongue moved.
When you finally pulled off, lips swollen and shiny, Heeseung was staring at you like youâd rewired his brain. His chest was heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes dark and hazy.
âJesus Christ,â he whispered, voice shot, âI didnât know I could like something that much.â
You wiped the corner of your mouth with your thumb, smirking as you crawled up his body and kissed him slowly, letting him taste himself on your tongue.
âYouâre learning fast,â you murmured against his lips. âand weâre just getting started.â
So, you were true to your word, because by the time you both stopped, all breathless and spent, it was nighttime. In the midst of everything, you both had managed to fall asleep tangled with each other. Heeseung was the one to wake up first, caressing your cheek as he stared at how peacefully you slept in his arms.Â
He stayed like that for a long minute, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek, watching the way your lashes rested against your skin. Something heavy settled in his chestânot regret exactly, but a quiet, gnawing guilt that refused to leave him alone.
Carefully, he slipped out from under you, tucking the blanket around your bare shoulders so you wouldnât get cold. He padded over to the window on quiet feet, pushing the curtain aside just enough to look out at the dark sky. The campus lights glowed faintly in the distance, stars barely visible through the city haze.
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the cool glass, exhaling slowly. What the fuck am I doing? The thought looped in his head. Heâd loved Minaâor at least heâd told himself he did. Theyâd been together for over a year. But even on the best nights with her, heâd never felt thisâfree, this wanted. With you, you didnât ask him to be anything other than exactly who he was in the moment, needy, desperate, a little mean when you pushed him, soft when you let him hold you after. Just a hint of your attention made his chest feel too full and that scared the shit out of him.
Because heâd sworn he loved Mina. But this? He wasnât even sure what to name this feeling anymore, and it felt dramatic when nothing had even happened, just freedom and the best pleasure heâd ever experienced.Â
The floor creaked softly behind him, making him turn his head to find you sitting up in bed now, hair messy, eyes still heavy with sleep. Without saying anything, you reached for his hoodie that had been tossed on the floor earlier and pulled it over your head. It swallowed you, the hem brushing your thighs as you padded over barefoot to stand beside him.
You leaned your shoulder against the window frame, looking out at the same dark sky. For a moment neither of you spoke.
âYou okay?â You asked eventually, voice soft.
Heeseung, however, was in deep thoughts of silent appreciation, because you looked beautiful, you always did, âyeah,â he let out a quiet breath, âI feel like an asshole for even saying this out loud, butâI donât remember it ever feeling this easy with Mina, even when things were good. With you itâs just different. Like I donât have to pretend or hold back or be anyone else. I donât know. That probably sounds stupid.â
You stayed quiet for a second, then bumped your shoulder gently against his, âit doesnât sound stupid. Youâre allowed to feel whatever you feel, Hee, itâs valid. You donât owe her anything anymore, and you donât owe me some perfect version of yourself either, okay?â
âYouâre too nice to me,â he mumbled.Â
You smiled, looking elsewhere for a moment as you gulped, âthatâs what friends are for,â you let out.Â
Heeseung turned to look at you fully, friends, is that what you were? Because friends donât do all this. So, Heeseung only managed to muster one question, hoping the reply would be enough of an action to understand if he was truly alone in this or not.
âCan I kiss you?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper with the hope to earn even something as little as a nod.Â
This means something more, you thought. This isnât just sex anymore, not for him. Truly, Heeseung wasnât even the kind to do this, so why did he agree to this? You wouldnât mind being a rebound for him but him getting attached would be a problem. Would it really, though? You shouldâve said no, but you found yourself being entranced by the beauty in his eyes.Â
So, instead you stepped closer, sliding your hands up his bare chest, and tilted your face up to his, âyeah,â you whispered, âyou can.â
Heeseungâs breath caught as he cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks like you were something fragile, slotting his lips onto yours almost achingly gentle, this almost felt like a question and an answer all at once to him.Â
When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he let out a shaky little laugh, pecking the corner of your mouth once.Â
The reflection on the window catching on everything you both were too afraid to admit.Â
Honestly, the fault was yours for not discussing the boundaries or making one of those contracts like they do in the movies or books (though they never work), cause now, you and Heeseung had been hanging around way more often, some witnesses might even confuse this intimacy for dating.Â
Maybe Heeseung was one of them, because when he texted you to come over, you half expected sex, not sitting alongside him learning League of legends at two in the morning. He was unpredictable to say the least, but he did wear his heart on his sleeve, so you could see the bits and pieces of the things he craved, and right now, he craved your time.Â
You didnât mind giving it to him, but it did come with a cost. The second you walked into the room, eyes widening at this small corner of the desk where a mango matcha, a few blue walkers, and a pack of Ferrero Rocher was placed neatly, alongside two packets of cup noodles (just in case).Â
To Heeseung, it was normal, and you would have agreed had it been some synonym of aftercare, but no. It was just Heeseung being absolutely willing (and needing) to spend more time with you outside of your fancy little arrangement.Â
He had opened the door with a smile so contagious, you mirrored it as he led you inside. A small corner of his desk was full of snacks, a cup of matcha which he knew was your favourite, a couple of Ferrero Rochers because he saw you eating those during the English lecture. You stood there for a second longer than intended, staring at it all, then at the man who had already made himself comfortable on the spare chair, waiting for you with the same gentle smile he always carried around you, making you gulp for a second before you returned it.Â
âCâmere? Sit with me,â he said, patting his main gaming chair right next to him, and he half expected you to tease him for doing this, âI swear Iâm not trying to be weird, and if you donât wanna do this we can stop, or you can make fun of me.â
You let out a quiet huff of a laugh and kicked your shoes off before sliding into the chair beside him. Your knee bumped his under the desk and you left it there, the contact warm even through your clothes. Heeseung rolled his own chair closer right away, leaning in from behind you so his chest brushed lightly against your back, one arm resting along the back of your seat while the other reached around to the mouse, and you didnât notice how he took in your scent with a dreamy sigh.Â
âWeâre playing League of Legends?â You asked, and he nodded.Â
âHave you played it before?â He asked a little hesitant that youâd say you donât wish to play or indulge in this.Â
âNope,â you said, reaching for the matcha because your mouth suddenly felt dry. The cup was ice-cold, condensation dripping down your fingers as you took a sip, âIâm probably gonna suck at this, just so you know.â
Heeseung let out a small laugh, relieved that you arenât opposed to this, âthatâs fine, we can start from the basics,â he covered your hand with his on the mouse, guiding you through the first clicks. âYou just run at people and spin when they get close. Super easy, I promise.â
His fingers were warm over yours, almost careful like he was scared youâd pull away. You felt the way his chest moved against your back when he breathed, the faint brush of his hair against your neck every time he leaned in a little closer to see the screen better.
You clicked around awkwardly and Garen just kind ofâstood there swinging his sword at nothing, âthis feels dumb,â you muttered, but you were smiling a little, âI look like a robot trying to dance.â
Heeseung bit his bottom lip at the sheer joy of having you play his favourite game, even though you looked lost, confused, and too adorable, âyou donât look dumb. You look cute as hell trying to figure it out.â He squeezed your hand gently and moved the mouse for you, making Garen run forward. âSee? Just click on this, okay?â
You tried it and Garen spun like a big metal tornado, actually hitting a couple of the little enemy guys, âoh okay, that was kinda fun,â you admitted, biting your lip to hide the grin. You reached for one of the Ferrero Rochers with your free hand, unwrapped it, and popped it in your mouth. The chocolate melted sweet and crunchy on your tongue, âhowâd you know I like this.â
Heeseung shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against yours, âI pay attention to you, sue me.â He took the half you offered him without hesitation, biting it right from your fingers, his lips brushing your skin for a second too long.
You rolled your eyes but couldnât stop the little flutter in your stomach at how brutally honest he was. He pays attention, he set all this up just so youâd feel comfortable doing something he likes. This isnât what you signed up for, this is him wanting you around, not just in his bed. Stop feeling it. Stop.
The game kept going, as you died a bunchârunning straight into the big tower like an idiot, getting smacked by random enemiesâbut Heeseung never made you feel stupid about it. Heâd just lean in closer, chin resting on your shoulder now, arm wrapped a little tighter around the back of your chair, and murmur stuff like, âtry backing up a tiny bit next time, yeah?â Or, âyouâre getting the spin down though, that last one actually hit three of them, nice.â
You passed him chips from the blue walkers packet, your fingers brushing his every time. He took them without pulling away, crunching quietly while his other hand stayed on the mouse with yours, guiding you through another wave.
Heeseung couldnât say this out loud but boy was he thrilled. It felt so nice, so domestic to do something so simple with someone (you). He couldnât help but compare, simply because he didnât know the basic possibilities of the relationship universe, though you werenât in one. His ex never spared time for such things, indifferent about his interests, while you were soâsweet.Â
âYouâve done this before? Teaching someone like this, I mean?â You asked after a while, âor am I getting special treatment?â
Heeseung went quiet for a second, then let out a breathy little laugh against your neck, âspecial treatment,â he admitted, no hesitation, âand no, itâs my first time teaching anyone.â
You leaned back into him a little more without thinking, the warmth of his chest solid and comforting against your back, the kind of solace that you had never had the pleasure of experiencing before. Was it supposed to be this easy?Â
The snacks slowly disappeared between youâanother Ferrero passed back and forth, the mango matcha cup getting lighter with every sip you took. Heeseung kept talking about random shit that had nothing to do with the game. How Jake had stolen his last ramen again, how he stayed up last night thinking about if aliens eat solid food, or if the Thestrals from Harry Potter can see each other or not.Â
You told him about the fanpage you had at fifteen, he listened like it was the most interesting thing ever, thumb stroking slow circles on the back of your hand the whole time.
At some point the first game ended. You were still pretty bad, but you werenât frustrated anymore. Heeseungâs arm had stayed around you the whole time, his chin heavy on your shoulder, breathing warm against your skin.
He didnât queue another match right away, instead he just sat there for a second, arms loose around your waist, like he was thinking.
âCâmere,â he murmured, voice a little rough as his hands slid to your hips and he tugged you gently, pulling you straight off the spare chair and into his lap like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your back settled fully against his chest, thighs bracketing his, his arms wrapping around you properly so he could still reach everything if he wanted. The chair creaked once under both of you. You fit too well, way too well.
He rested his chin back on your shoulder and clicked into another custom game like nothing had changed, but his arms stayed tight around your waist, like he didnât want to let go.
âWhat are we doing, Hee?â You asked in a low mumble.Â
Heeseung went still, arms locking tighter around your waist like the question had burned him, he was afraid youâd bring it up and thatâs exactly what you did. You felt him swallow hard, breath shaky against your neck.
He opted to answer with his actions instead, turning your face toward him with one hand and kissing you, lips pressing firm like heâd been dying to do it. His tongue slid in right away, tasting like chocolate and the mango youâd been sharing all night. He made this quiet, embarrassed little sound in his throat and kissed you harder, fingers sliding into your hair to hold you there.
You tried to pull back half an inch, though absolutely feeling your heartbeat fastening at how good the kiss, the warmth felt, âHee, waitââ
He chased your mouth instantly, cutting you off with another kiss, deeper this time, tongue lazy and filthy against yours. His hand slipped under your top, palm hot and a little unsteady on your bare waist, thumb stroking slow circles like he needed to feel your skin to stay sane. He was breathing hard through his nose, cheeks burning against yours, but he wouldnât let you speak. Every single time your lips parted he was right there again, kissing you quiet, desperate and messy like talking would ruin whatever this was.
âBed,â he mumbled against your mouth. He stood up with you still in his lap, hands under your thighs, and carried you the few steps across the room. The second your back hit the mattress he was on top of you, settling between your legs and kissing you again before you could even breathe.
This time it was slower but no less intense. His tongue moved against yours in these long, deep strokes while one hand pushed further under your top, palm flat on your stomach, sliding up until his fingers brushed the edge of your bra. His other hand stayed tangled in your hair, tugging gently every time you tried to talk. He was so fucking flusteredâears red, breath shaky, little embarrassed groans slipping out whenever you rolled your hips up into himâbut he still wouldnât let you ask.
Every time you opened your mouth he swallowed it with another kiss, and you groaned, pulling him into you deeper, letting him showcase his feelings through whatever this was, and you understood it, but couldnât stop it or ask any further, because you knew heâd deflect as if it scared him.Â
As if the only answer he could give was this.
You were decent at saying no, in fact, some might even admit how good you were at it, blunt as fuck. But that ability was limited to the world and it most certainly didnât apply to this glorious six foot tall man who wished for you to join him at the basketball court. You could have made up some excuse, maybe tell him you have a lab report due, but you didnât do thatâbecause you wanted to go.Â
âThis is getting ridiculous,â said Winter, watching you change into a loose t-shirt and old shorts, âyou hate sports. You once told me basketball was just a bunch of giants running in circles. Now youâre rushing out at night because Heeseung said come watch me play? And youâre dressing up the part too?â
You shrugged, tying your hair up, âItâs not that deep. Iâm bored.â
âSure, tell yourself that,â she mumbled with her brow raised.Â
Well, she wasnât exactly wrong, but you didnât care much as you made your way out towards the court which was lit up by some harsh floodlights, looking over to find some guys already deep in the game. You could spot Heeseung, Chenle, Beomgyu, and Sunghoonât-shirts sticking to their backs.Â
Nics (Chenleâs girlfriend) and Moon (Sunghoonâs girlfriend) were already on the bleachers with their chaotic friend, Ricey, who always carried snacks in her bag. The second they spotted you, Nics waved you over with a grin, patting the spot next to her.Â
Heeseung was mid-dribble when his head snapped in your direction, the ball bouncing once before he caught it against his hip. Even from across the court you could see the way his face softened, that small, stupidly genuine smile breaking through like usual. He lifted his free hand in a quick wave.Â
âYo, Y/Nâs here!â Chenle shouted, grinning like an idiot as he wiped sweat off his forehead with the hem of his shirt, âperfect timing, letâs do girls versus boys now.â
Nics hopped off the bleachers first, already pulling her hair up, âfinal-fucking-ly. Come on, weâre making this four on four.â
Moon laughed and stood up too, nudging Ricey, âyou in or are you just gonna sit there eating chips the whole time?â
Ricey popped another chip in her mouth before standing, âIâm in, but if I break a nail Iâm blaming all of you.â
You didnât get a chance to sit as you got dragged into the court. Heeseung jogged over to you, still breathing a little hard, hair messy and damp. Up close he smelled like sweat and that familiar woody cologne, and the way he looked at you made you shiver.Â
âYou actually came,â he breathed, grabbing your arm without thinking much at all.Â
âCouldnât let you embarrass yourself alone,â you replied, stealing the ball from his hands just to mess with him. He laughed, eyes crinkling, and for a second it felt like the rest of the court disappeared.
But boy was it chaotic with Moon just distracting Hoon half the time, Nics and Chenle spent the time arguingâwhich was clearly their way of flirting, meanwhile Ricey was enjoying the drama in the middle of this all. The game was messy, and oh so loud.
You mostly ended up guarding Heeseung, and he was clearly not focused on winning anymore.
The first time you drove past him, he barely tried to block you, just let you slip by with this stupid little smile on his face. When you scored, he was the first one clapping, muttering under his breath, âfuck, that was hot,â loud enough for Beomgyu to hear and immediately start laughing.
âYouâre not even guarding her properly!â Sunghoon yelled, hands on his knees, âyou just watched her score and looked proud as hell!â
Heeseung didnât even deny it, just shrugged, eyes still locked on you as you dribbled back.Â
âSheâs fast,â he said, but the way he said it was way too soft, and he wondered why he called you with others around when he shouldâve done this one on one, but even then, he was thrilled to see you fit in so well with everyone.Â
The court lights hummed overhead, casting long shadows across the cracked asphalt, your oversized t-shirt clung to your skin in damp patches, the thin cotton sticking to the curve of your waist and the small of your back every time you moved. Heeseungâs eyes kept dropping to where the hem rode up every time you moved, and honestly? You liked it.
You caught the ball again and drove straight at him. This time his hand found your waist right away, palm warm through the damp fabric, thumb brushing under the hem like he couldnât help himself. You spun past anyway, shoulder bumping his chest, and laid it up clean. When you landed he was still there, fingers lingering on your hip for a second longer than necessary.
âShit, youâre good,â he muttered by your ear.
Beomgyu groaned loud enough for everyone to hear, âHeeseung, your hand was literally on her the whole time!â
Sunghoon just shook his head, âI canât watch this anymore.â
A few plays later you slowed right in front of him, dribbling lazy, then hit him with the poutâbottom lip out, eyes big. Heeseungâs shoulders dropped instantly, âcome on, thatâs cheating,â he whined, but he was already stepping aside, hand sliding to your hip again as you blew past and scored.
Ricey started cracking up from the fence. âHe folded. Letâs fucking go!â
Nics and Moon were dying, âY/N, youâre actually evil,â Moon yelled, âlikeâlook at him.â
The game kept going like that, every time you got near him his hands were on your waist or lower back, like he needed the excuse to touch you. After one layup he caught you around the middle when you landed, pulling you back against his chest for a second, chin brushing your shoulder.
âYouâre killing me out here,â he said quietly, thumb rubbing slow against your side.
You turned your head, âstop letting me win so obviously.â
âCanât,â he admitted, fingers flexing on your hip, âcanât stop you.â
Final possession got you dribbling right up to him. He stepped up, but the second you gave him the pout he let out a soft laugh and just gave up, both hands settling on your waist.
âGo win, baby,â he whispered, not even trying to hide it anymore as you drove and laid it in clean.
Game over.
Nics scooped you up spinning you once while Moon and Ricey cheered like idiots. The second your feet hit the ground Heeseung was there, arm sliding around your waist and pulling you back against him. His t-shirt was damp against yours, heartbeat steady on your back.
âYouâre impossible,â he murmured into your hair, thumb still tracing slow circles on your hip under the hem, âdidnât even wanna stop you.â
You leaned into him, grinning, âyou had your hands on me the whole second half.â
âYeah,â he said, no shame at all, âfelt too good.â
Heeseung didnât get to talk more as a fuming Chenle grabbed his collar and dragged him away for what seemed to be some good beating.Â
Moon and Nics immediately grabbed your arms at the opportunity and pulled you a few steps away, cornering you near the fence while Heeseung was distracted talking (arguing) to Chenle.
âOkay, spill,â Moon said, âwhat the hell is going on with you two? Because that was not subtle.â
Nics nodded, still half-laughing, âgirl, he had his hands on your waist like every single play. Heâs so into you itâs actually funny.â
You tried to play it cool, wiping sweat off your neck with the bottom of your shirt, âItâs not like that. Weâre justâhanging out? No strings, yâknow?â
They waited for you to say youâre joking, or just laugh, but then none of it came and they gasped, collectively.Â
âYouâre not serious,â Moon deadpanned.Â
Nicsâ eyes went huge, âwait. Youâre actually serious.â
Ricey let out a low whistle, leaning against the fence, âdamn, Y/N. I thought you were messing with us.â
You shrugged, trying to laugh it off, but the sound came out rather shaky. Your stomach did that stupid little flip again, like your body was calling you a liar before your mouth could. The cool night air on your damp neck suddenly felt too cold, and your t-shirt clung uncomfortably to your skin, âI mean, yeah, thatâs the deal. We both said it from the start.â
The words felt flat even as you said them. Your eyes drifted across the court before you could stop yourself. Chenle still had Heeseung in that dramatic headlock, ranting about how embarrassing he was, but Heeseung wasnât even pretending to fight back. His head turned and his gaze found yours instantly through the mess of hair falling in his face. That soft, stupid little smile tugged at his lips like getting chewed out didnât matter at all. Just you did.
Your chest squeezed as you looked away, but Moon followed your stare and let out a quiet oh, âgirl, look at him right now. Heâs getting yelled at and heâs still staring at you like that? Come on.â
Nics nudged your side. âhe had his hands on your waist literally every single time you got near him. Called you baby in front of all of us. Folded like a lawn chair the second you pouted. Thatâs a man catching feelings and not even trying to hide it.â
Ricey nodded, arms crossed, âfor real. We were all watching, he was playing how many times can I touch my girl without getting called out.â
You swallowed, heat creeping up your neck that had nothing to do with the game anymore, âItâs not like that,â you mumbled but even you could hear how unsure you sounded. The way Heeseung was still looking at you made the label feel thinner than your sweaty t-shirt.
Before anyone could push harder, Chenle finally shoved Heeseung away with one last groan. Heeseung jogged back over, hair wrecked, cheeks flushed, but his eyes were already locked on you again. His arm slid around your waist without hesitation, palm warm and familiar against the damp fabric like it was the most natural thing in the world.
âYou guys done roasting her yet?â He asked, voice light and a little out of breath.Â
Ricey snorted, ânot even close.â
Heeseung just grinned and pulled you closer, chin brushing the top of your head. You leaned into him without thinking, the solid warmth of his side against yours making that chest-tight feeling even worse. Or better, you couldnât tell anymore.
Your newfound friends exchanged a look behind his back, but you caught it anyway.
Whatever this wasâit didnât feel like no strings anymore. Not even a little.
Heeseung always thought that his partner would an extension of his very soul, and he never achieved that. Maybe the saying can be moulded into perspectives of sort, perhaps connection wasnât about mirroring souls but about finding someone who made the fractures feel intentional, beautiful even.
He mindlessly knocked on the door, heart drumming an uneven rhythm against his ribs, not expecting the door to open so quickly, his breath hitching at the sight of you in front of him.Â
Maybe your partner isnât supposed to be an extension of you, but rather someone whoâd stand on the opposite side of the spectrum and still look like a perfect puzzle when fitted together.Â
You stood there like a living poem rendered in silkâclad in a breathtaking white gown that slipped over your skin with liquid grace, the delicate fabric catching the hallwayâs muted glow, the thin straps tracing the delicate architecture of your collarbones like a loverâs fingertip. It moved with you, shimmering faintly, alive with every subtle shift of your weight. Your hair styled perfectly, lips glossed to a tempting sheen, and the whole vision struck him so viscerally that the air in his lungs simply vanished.
You looked beautiful, like an angel in all white, while he stood in front of you in a black leather jacket, juxtaposing every bit of elegance you exuded.Â
Heeseung forgot how to breathe quite literally as time fractured around him. His gaze dragged over you in helpless reverence, while a razor-edged thought sliced through the haze. Are you going out? On a date? With someone else? The image of another manâs eyes tracing that same silk, another hand brushing the curve of your waist beneath it, coiled hot and ugly in his chest, stealing what little breath he had left.
âHee?â You asked with a smile, tilting your head with genuine surprise, âwhat are you doing here?â
He gulped, forcing his eyes back up and oxygen to cooperate within him, âyouâre breathtaking,â he managed, âI forgot what I came for.â
Warmth crept up your neck at the nervousness of the man in front of you, he was adorableâshifting from one leg to the other, playing with his fingers, as if the simple act of standing there might unravel him completely. His dark hair fell messily over his forehead, cheeks flushed a soft rose, and those wide, doe-like eyes kept flicking back to the silk clinging to your body. You could practically feel the rapid thud of his heartbeat from where you stood, the way his throat worked on another swallow, the subtle tremor in his shoulders as he tried (and failed) to play it cool.
âI, uhââ Heeseung rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a small, embarrassed laugh, âI wanted to show you something. Iâve been carrying it around all day like an idiot because I thought you might like it. Figured tonight could be, I donât know, nice? Just us.â
Your heart gave a small tug, the evening plans youâd been dreading now sitting like a weight in your chest, âgod, HeeâI wish I could,â you said softly, âmy parents are in town and we have this family dinner thing tonight. Itâs one of those non-negotiable things. I was literally about to walk out the door when you knocked.â
Heeseungâs shoulders dropped just a fraction, disappointment flickering across his face before he quickly tried to smooth it over. He nodded, offering you a small, understanding smile that didnât quite reach his eyes, though he was relieved it wasnât a boy youâd dressed up for, âno, gosh. Itâs okay, I hope you have fun.â
He paused, eyes still lingering on you like he couldnât help it, âbutâif youâre not too tired later, maybe we could still meet up? Even if itâs just for a little while. No pressure or anything, I justâI really like being around you.â
All you could manage was a nod, making him smile wider. It was always a surprise at how clearly Heeseung said whatever he meant, and it wasnât the best thing for your poor heart, which probably matched Heeseungâs pace now. Bidding goodbye was another problem especially when Heeseung stared till you got inside the cab. The dinner was a haze, your mom staring at your zoned out state with a knowing smile.Â
âWho is it?â She sighed finally, making you look up in horror.Â
âMomâno,â you warned, knowing just how interested your family was in gossiping, which didnât exclude gossip about you by any means.Â
âWhat? She laughed, feigning innocence while your dad hid his grin behind his water glass, âIâm just asking. Youâve been smiling at nothing and zoning out all night, now spill.â
Your cousin leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief, âyeah, girl. You look like youâre thinking about someone. Is he cute? Does he go to your uni?â
Heat flooded your cheeks, âthereâs no one,â you lied, though the words felt flimsy even to you, âIâm just tired.â
Your mom reached over and squeezed your wrist gently, âmhm, sure. Whoever he is, heâs lucky if heâs got you looking like this. Just donât forget to eat, okay? Youâre glowing, but youâre also not touching your food.â
You groaned, covering your face with both hands as the table erupted into light laughter. The teasing continued with your dad throwing in a dramatic âIf he hurts you, Iâll find himâ that made everyone chuckleâbut you managed to dodge the worst of it, cheeks burning the whole time. By the time dessert came, your family had mercifully moved on, though your momâs knowing glances never quite stopped.
Meanwhile, Heeseung stood alone on the rooftop of the main university building, the cool night breeze slipping beneath the collar of his leather jacket and ruffling his dark hair. Heâd quietly borrowed the keys from the maintenance office earlierâsomething he wasnât proud of, but tonight the small rebellion felt worth it. Up here, the view was stunning. City lights stretched out below like scattered diamonds across black velvet, the crescent moon hung low, casting a silvery glow over everything. He slipped an airpod in, letting his playlist fill the silence.Â
His hand drifted to the inner pocket of his jacket, fingers brushing the carefully wrapped item inside. Heâd wanted to show it to you tonight, watch your face light up, maybe steal a few more stolen moments of that easy warmth you gave him so effortlessly.
Heeseung leaned against the railing, staring out at the glittering skyline while the music in his earpods played on, and he wondered if you were thinking about him too, somewhere across town amid the family dinner. He didnât mind waiting, in fact, he was good at it when it meant so much to him. Regardless, every couple of minutes heâd glance at the door, half-convinced he was being ridiculous for waiting up here like some lovesick idiot.
As he turned back again, the faint creak of the door was heard, and he went still. You stepped onto the rooftop still wrapped in that white silk gown, the wind caught the hem immediately, making it swirl softly around your legs, and when you smiled at himâhe felt it right in the center of his chest.
âHi,â you said, voice quiet.Â
Heeseung pulled the airpods out slowly, letting them dangle from his fingers, âyouâyou actually came,â he breathed, the words slipping out before he could stop them, his eyes moved over you again, helpless, âin that dress, god, Y/N.â
You walked closer, heels soft against the concrete, âtold you I would. Couldnât stop thinking about whatever you wanted to show me,â a small laugh escaped you.Â
He took a half-step closer, âI wasnât sure,â he admitted, âbut Iâm really glad youâre here. You lookââ he trailed off, shaking his head with a soft, almost disbelieving smile, âI donât even have the words tonight, youâre beautiful.â
It was foreign, the way you felt all mushy inside with a compliment, granted you got those all the time, but this felt new. You stopped just inches from him, close enough to see the way the moonlight caught in his dark eyes, the faint flush still lingering on his cheeks, âshow me, then,â you whispered.Â
Heeseungâs breath caught for the briefest moment. Then he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and drew out a small box wrapped in simple paper, tied with a slender black ribbon. He placed it gently into your waiting hands, his fingers brushing yours with a lingering warmth that sent another quiet flutter through you.
You untied the ribbon, letting the paper fall away until the snow globe rested heavy in your palms. Inside the delicate glass sphere, a tiny couple danced beneath an invisible skyâher in a flowing white dress that mirrored the silk clinging to your body, him in a dark jacket that echoed the leather draped across Heeseungâs shoulders. Their hands were joined, bodies turned toward one another in quiet, perfect harmony. When you tilted the globe, soft white flakes swirled around them like the first gentle snowfall of winter, catching the moonlight in tiny, luminous sparks.
A rush of something overwhelming bloomed low in your stomach, as if butterflies unfurling their wings until your chest felt too full, too light. You looked up at him, eyes wide and shimmering. âHeeseung,â you breathed, âthis is us. The dress, the jacket, itâs exactly like us.â
He bit his bottom lip, smiling shyly as he nodded, eyes soft with affection that he never failed to display. âYeah,â he murmured, stepping closer until the globe rested safely between your bodies, pressed lightly against the silk over your heart, âI know itâs a little cheesy, but when I saw it, I couldnât stop thinking about you.â
It was yet again when he had rendered you speechless so beautifully, a small smile still graced your lips, and you couldnât hide it, you didnât wish to hide it, âitâs not cheesy, itâs beautiful, Hee. Thank you.âÂ
You held the globe for another heartbeat, letting the tiny flakes swirl and sparkle inside the glass, before you turned gently and set it on the wide concrete railing
Heeseung watched you, nervous as he reached into his pocket, pulling out one of the earpods and holding it out to you between two fingers, âdance with me?â He asked, voice hopeful, âIâve had this song on repeatâuh, I kept imagining what it would sound like with you here.â
It was as if you were facing the real tale of the entanglement after the initial surface level attraction had worn off, which shouldâve made it worse, right? But Heeseung, unlike any other potential love interest youâd met, shone brighter after revealing himself day by day.Â
You took the airpod from him without a secondâs hesitation and slid it in, that familiar, timeless melody of Everybody Loves Somebody filling your ear like an old friend crooning about love that finds you when you least expect it. Heeseungâs fingers brushed yours as he took your hand, threading them together with a quiet certainty that made your breath hitch. His other palm settled at your waist, warm through the silk, and he drew you in until your bodies met, like theyâd been waiting all along. You let your free hand rest against his chest, right over the steady thud of his heart beneath the leather.
Heeseung let out a soft, breathy laugh, âfuck, I actually feel stupid right now,â he muttered, âIâve never danced before.â
You laughed, leaning into his scent further, âyouâre doing great, Hee.â
âYeah?â Another dorky chuckle rumbled through his chest. He adjusted his hold on you, thumb moving in a slow, absent circle at your waist, âI donât know, lately I keep catching myself doing shit I never thought Iâd do. Like stealing keys to a rooftop, buying a snow globe because it reminded me of you. Itâs weird, I feel like Iâm figuring out all these parts of myself I didnât even know were there.â
He stole keys, the thought itself made you chuckle again. Youâd once read somewhere that the act of loving someone doesnât stop at accepting them but furthers by coaxing their selfhood out of themâit felt that way for you too because who would have thought youâd be dancing with someone at a rooftop wearing a gown?Â
You squeezed his hand gently, âI like that,â you said, âI like that youâre figuring it out with me.â
The proximity was perfect, yet your bodies kept on gravitating towards each other every few steps, and eventually the melody began to fade. You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, the position mirroring that of the snow globe miniatures. Taking another step, you leaned forward just enough to slot your lips against his, almost as if breathing each other in, lips parting at the same time before pressing into a gentle peck. Heeseung exhaled shakily against you, his hand tightening at your waist for a second like he was trying to remember how to breathe.
When you finally drew back, you gave him that smile you knew he couldnât resist. You slipped the airpod out of your ear and dropped it into his open palm, fingers brushing his one last time. At the same time you reached over, picked up the snow globe from the railing, and tucked it carefully against your chest.
âNight, baby,â you whispered as you turned toward the door.
Heeseung just stood there, completely still, breathing a little harder than before. His eyes were wide and utterly lovestruck as he watched you walk away. The rooftop door clicked shut behind you, but he didnât move for a long timeâjust stayed right where he was under the moonlight, that dazed, helpless smile slowly taking over his face.
You were panting as Heeseung pressed his lips on the base of your spine, sending a shiver up your back. He hadnât been patient pulling you in his bed, turning you over to unzip your dress. He groaned with each kiss as if he was pleasuring himself instead of you while savouring every inch of skin exposed.Â
Heeseung pressed his forehead against the middle of your back for a second, breathing hard, âyouâre trembling,â he whispered against you, âis my mouth really making you feel that good?â He kissed between your shoulder blades, then higher, until his lips brushed the nape of your neck, âtell me, baby. Tell me how wet you are right now just from this.â
âSo wet,â you gasped, pushing your hips back against him, âHeeâplease.â
He let out a broken groan and shoved your panties to the side with impatient fingers, not even bothering to pull them off. The thick head of his cock nudged against your slick entrance, hot and heavy, before he sank into you in one long, relentless thrust.
âFuck,â he groaned, the sound guttural as he bottomed out, stretching you wide, âyouâre soaking my cock, baby. So fucking tight and wet for me.â He pulled back slowly, then drove in again, harder, the wet slap of skin echoing in the room, âlisten to that. Hear how greedy your pussy is for me?â
You cried out, fingers clawing at the sheets as he set a deep, punishing rhythm, each stroke dragging perfectly against that sensitive spot inside you.
âHeeseungâoh god, yesââ your voice broke on a moan, tears of overwhelming pleasure already stinging your eyes, âharderâplease, I need it harder.â
Heeseung cursed under his breath and fucked you deeper, hips snapping forward with filthy precision, âlike this?â He panted, voice hoarse âyou want me to ruin this pretty little pussy? Tell me how good it feels, baby. I want to hear you fall apart.â
âIt feels so good,â you sobbed, pushing back to meet every thrust, âyouâre so deepâfuck, Hee, I canâtââ
The pleasure coiled tighter and tighter, white-hot and devastating, until it finally snapped.
âI love youââ the words tore out of you, raw and desperate, âHeeseung, I love youââ
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt inside you, body going completely rigid.
âWhat?â His voice was barely a whisper, shocked and trembling.
You whimpered, hips twitching helplessly around his cock, the confession spilling out again in a blurry, broken rush, âI love you, I love you so muchââ
Heeseung pulled out suddenly, making you whine at the loss. In one swift motion he flipped you onto your back, hovering over you with wide, dark eyes and a chest that heaved like heâd forgotten how to breathe.
âSay it again,â he demanded, voice hoarse and shaking as he stared down at you, one hand cupping your jaw, âlook at me and say it again, baby. Please.â
Your eyes were glassy, lips parted on a shaky breath, but the words seemed to have blurred, your face disappearing right in front of his eyes as you said, âI loveââÂ
He woke up with a sharp, ragged gasp, bolting upright in his own bed, heart slamming violently against his ribs. The room was dark and silent except for his own frantic breathing. Sweat slicked his skin, and when he looked down, the front of his sweatpants was soaked with a warm, sticky mess.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â he whispered hoarsely, dragging a trembling hand down his face, cheeks burning with heat.
It was hard for him to contain himself when this is all he could dream of the past six days, feeling it deep despite it being a dream. Wet dream was fine really, but the confession that echoed? Yeah, that definitely made Heeseung feel eccentric because he needed to hear that for real despite the terms of the relationship between you both. It was bound to bloom into something more.
You two had fallen into a rhythm that didnât need a label really. He showed up outside your lectures with your stupidly specific drink (matcha), the one with the exact ratio you liked, because heâd paid attention the one time you made a face at the wrong version. Youâd started leaving your oversized hoodie at his place just so you could steal his instead and he could wear yours, the sleeves swallowing your hands while you lounged on his bed scrolling through your phone. He noticed how you always tugged at your bottom lip when you were thinking too hard, how you stole the last sip of his drink without asking, how your shoulders relaxed the second you kicked your shoes off after a long day. You noticed the way he rubbed the bridge of his nose when he was tired but too stubborn to admit it, the soft little hum he made when something tasted exactly right, the way his eyes lingered on you a beat longer than necessary whenever you laughed at something dumb he said.
You werenât calling it dating, you werenât calling it anything. But you also werenât fighting it. Youâd never been the type to deny yourself something that made you feel good, and Heeseung made you feel good in a way that snuck up on you. So you let yourself have it without the complications of overthinking.Â
Later that morning, Heeseung walked across campus still half-dazed from the dream, that stupid, lingering smile refusing to leave his face. The memory of your voice saying those three words kept looping in his head, well, until a voice didnât wish to hear ruined his train of thoughts.Â
âWell, well. If it isnât the thief.â
Heeseung slowed to a stop and turned. Jaemin stood there with his arms crossed, wearing the same smug, pissed-off expression he used to think was charming.
Heeseung let out a dry, humorless scoff, âthief? Thatâs fucking hilarious coming from the guy who was literally balls-deep in my ex while we were still together.â
Jaemin stepped closer, eyes narrowing, âwhatever helps you sleep at night. You really think youâre gonna keep her interested?â His voice dripped with condescension, âY/N doesnât do soft boys. All that cute shit you do, yâknow? All that bringing her drinks, playing with her hair, looking at her like sheâs the only person in the room? Sheâll get bored so soon. She needs someone who can actually keep up with her, not some pathetic, whipped little romantic who gets all starry-eyed at the sight of her.â
Heeseung forced out a dry laugh, âyeah sure, keep telling yourself that.â
Jaemin stepped even closer, that ugly little smirk twisting his mouth, âyouâre playing house while sheâs used to getting fucked properly, Iâm sure youâre not offering much to at all, youâre nothing but a rebound to her,â he scoffed once, and walked away.Â
But the damage was done, because yes, Heeseung was soft, almost a whipped little romantic who let you take the lead when things got heated, how you pinned his wrists down or told him exactly how you wanted him, and how much he fucking loved giving in to you. The dream from this morning flashed behind his eyes again, your voice breaking on those three words while he was the one completely undone above you. Now it all felt suddenly pathetic, like something Jaemin could point at and laugh at.
Jealousy, envy, insecurity, these were the things he didnât wish to feel, and gladly so, he never felt that with you, so why was an outsider here to remind him of his so called weaknesses? It felt like a spiral how he skipped the next lecture and pondered on Jaeminâs words. Did you actually not enjoy your time with him? Was he enough? Did you want a more intense relationship? Was it just a rebound?
He couldnât find the answers to any of those questions, and managed to ignore every single text and call that came his way, letting himself cool down on the rooftop yet again.Â
What he essentially forgot was how communication wasnât a part of the relationship but the very pillar that ran practically any relationship on this earth, this being the very first instance of him not being able to express himselfâsomething he did so freely around you.Â
And so, the day passed without him replying to you.Â
You felt the absence like a missing pulse.Â
âYou look crazy checking your phone every two minutes,â Sunoo pointed out, and you huffed, grabbing your phone again to stare at the unread texts youâd sent him through the day.Â
The screen glowed mockingly in the low light of your dorm room, the blue bubble of your last message still floating unanswered beneath the others, heeseung? talk to me. you okay? iâm coming over if you donât answer. Just silence that didnât sit right with you.Â
Sunoo flopped dramatically across the foot of your bed, legs kicking up behind him, while Winter perched on the windowsill, she watched you with that knowing tilt of her head, the one that always preceded a lecture of affection.Â
âBabe,â she said, âheâs been ghosting the group chat too, somethingâs off. Like, capital-O off.â
You set the phone face-down on the blanket, but your fingers still twitched toward it. Sunoo nudged your ankle with his socked foot.Â
âGo, seriously, and if heâs being a dramatic little shit, tell him Sunoo said to grow a pair and answer his damn phone.â His grin was bright, âyouâre so in love itâs pathetic.â
Your lip only twitched, and you didnât admit nor deny it. It was too early to even overthink what happened, was he drowning himself in self destruction while embracing pain for absolutely no reason? Regardless you frowned with disdain, pushing yourself up to actually do something about the situation, choosing to wear his hoodie he gave you a few days earlier.Â
You didnât bother fixing your hair or changing out of the soft shorts youâd been rotting in all evening. This wasnât about looking put-together, it was about the fact that Heeseung had never once left a message on read without answering, in fact, he was the one who usually texted first, shared his problems, and discussed any and everything this world has to offer. Whatever had him locked down like this, it had teeth, and you were done waiting for him to chew through it alone.
By the time you reached there, a feeling of nervousness washed over you. Jake pulled the door open almost immediately, like heâd been hovering behind it. His eyes were wide, hair sticking up in about six different directions, and he looked so relieved to see you that it almost hurt.
âJesus Christ, youâre here,â he sighed, stepping aside so you could slip in, âhe got back from class and just shut down. Told me to fuck off when I asked if he wanted pasta. Jay tried the concerned roommate bit and got the door slammed in his face. This isnâtâhe doesnât do this, yâknow?â
You nodded, throat tight, âI know.â
Jake hesitated, then added almost sheepishly, âif heâs being a dick, tell him I said to stop being a dramatic prick or iâll take you away, or whatever.â
You gave him a chuckle and headed straight for the bedroom door, hoping that it wouldnât be locked. It wasnât, thankfully so, and you pushed the door open before you could talk yourself out of it. Heeseung sat on the edge of the bed in those black sweats that hung too low on his hips, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing. His hair was a mess, like heâd been running his hands through it for hours. The silver chain sat against his collarbone, rising and falling with these tight little breaths. He looked exhausted, hollowed out even.
He heard the door and his head snapped up.
For a second his eyes went wide, like he couldnât believe it was really you standing there. The whiplash of emotions was too much, especially when you were clad in his hoodie with sadness gracing your pretty face that he really always wished to see happy. He stood up so fast the bed creaked, crossed the room in two strides, and pulled you against him like heâd been waiting to do exactly that all day.
His hands were rough as he grabbed your nape the second the door closed shut behind you, breathing hard as your lips parted to ask a question, but he only closed his eyes, slid his hand up to your head as he pushed you against the door, pushing his lips against yours in a messy claim.Â
He can be rough, he can be the one to give you pleasure, of course he can. His fingers tightened in your hair, tilting your head exactly how he wanted it, tongue sliding in deep. You tasted the faint cherry from whatever heâd been drinking, felt the way his chest heaved against yours like heâd been running.
âMissed you,â he mumbled right into your mouth, the words half-bitten off by another rough kiss, âfuck, I missed you so bad today.â
âHeeseungâwait, what the hell happenedââ you tried, but he swallowed the question with his mouth, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to sting before dragging his teeth down the side of your neck. His free hand shoved under the hem of the hoodie, palm sprawled over the expanse of your waist, fingers digging in like he needed to feel skin right now
âShh,â he breathed against your throat, voice wrecked, âdonât talk. Justâlet me.â He sucked a mark right below your ear, like he was stamping proof that you were here, that you were his. His hips pressed forward, pinning you tighter to the door, and you could feel how hard he already was through his sweats.
The force of him made your breath hitch, your back flush against the cool wood while every inch of him burned insistent. He was never like this, not with you. Heeseung had always been careful, as if afraid that wrong move would make you slip away. But tonight something had snapped in him, and the way his fingers trembled just slightly against your skin told you he knew it too. He was trying to prove a pointâto himself, to the ghost of Jaeminâs voice still echoing in his headâthat he could be the rough, ravenous version he thought you wanted.
He spun you around so fast your palms slapped against the full-length mirror on the back of his closet door. The cool glass kissed your bare chest, making your nipples tighten instantly. Heeseungâs chest pressed flush to your back, one hand sliding up to grip your jaw, forcing your head up so you had no choice but to look at your own reflectionâparted lips, eyes already glassy.Â
âLook at yourself,â he rasped, âlook how fucking pretty you are when youâre like this for me.â
His other hand snaked down your stomach, fingers dipping between your thighs without warning. Two thick digits pushed inside you in one smooth glide, curling instantly against that spot that made your knees buckle. You gasped, forehead dropping forward until it rested on the mirror, but Heeseungâs grip on your jaw tightened, yanking you back up.
âEyes open, baby. Watch, yeah?âÂ
It most certainly was hot to see him take control, but you couldnât understand the sudden switch, the implications, your mind was too foggy with the way youâd missed him through the day. Heeseung was too in his head, as if on some mission to make you feel goodâwhich he always achieved, yet was not satisfied.Â
He pumped his fingers slow and deep, twisting them on every drag out so you felt every ridge, every knuckle. The wet, slick sounds of your pussy taking his fingers echoed obscenely in the quiet dorm room. In the mirror you watched it all: the way your lips parted on a shaky moan, the flush crawling down your neck to your chest, the way your tits pressed and flattened against the cool glass with every rock of your hips. Heeseungâs reflection behind you was devastatingâdark hair falling into his eyes, jaw clenched tight, that chain around his neck swaying every time he thrust his fingers harder.
âGod, youâre so deep already,â you whimpered, hips rocking back to meet his hand, âkeep going like that, yeah, just like that, Hee.â
Heeseung groaned low, forehead dropping to your shoulder for a second before he forced himself to look up again, as if in pain, âthatâs it. Fuck, listen to how messy you sound. Youâre dripping down my wrist, baby. Such a good girl for me.â
You bit your lip, eyes fluttering, but he tapped your jaw again.
âDonât close your eyes. Want you to see how pretty you look when I finger fuck you like this.â
âBossy tonight,â you teased breathlessly, even as your thighs started trembling, âI like it, but youâre gonna make me cum already if you keep rubbing my clit like that.â
âGood,â he rasped, thumb circling faster, fingers curling relentlessly, âcum for me. Right now. Let me see it.â
You moaned his name loud, walls fluttering and clenching around his fingers as you came, slick coating his hand. Heeseung kept working you through it, slower but deep, murmuring against your neck, âthatâs my girlâfuck, youâre so pretty when you cum. Look at you shaking for me.â
He pulled his fingers out slowly, then brought them to your lips.
âTaste yourself, baby, hm? Câmon, open up.â
You sucked them clean, eyes never leaving his in the reflection, and he cursed under his breath the second your tongue swirled around his fingers.Â
âFuckâyouâre gonna kill me.â
Before you could catch your breath he dropped to his knees behind you, hands gripping your hips and yanking you back so your ass arched toward his face.
âKeep watching the mirror,â he said, voice hoarse with need, âI want you to see me eat this pussy like Iâve been starving for it.â
Then his mouth was on you, as filthy as he could manage. His tongue dragged slow and broad from your clit all the way up, and you moaned loud, hands sliding down the glass.
âOh my god, Heeââ
âMhm, fuck, you taste even better after you come,â he groaned against you, the vibration making your legs weak, âspread your legs a little wider for me, baby. Let me get deeper.â
You did, pushing back against his face. His tongue fucked into you while his nose nudged your clit, then he sucked your swollen clit into his mouth hard.
âYesâright there, donât stop,â you panted, âyour tongue feels so fucking good, baby, keep sucking like that.â
Heeseung moaned into your pussy, one hand reaching around to rub your clit while the other spread you open wider, âtell me how much you like it,â he mumbled between licks, voice desperate, âtell me you love my mouth on you.â
âI love itâfuck, I love your mouth, Hee. Youâre so good at thisâshit, Iâm gonna cum again if you keep going like that.â
He sucked harder, tongue flicking fast, fingers joining to curl inside you, âthen let go again, right on my tongue. I want to feel you fall apart while you watch yourself in the mirror.â
Your second orgasm crashed over you even harder, a high pitched moan leaving your mouth, almost as if you were chanting his name like a mantra, thighs shaking violently as you came on his tongue, and Heeseung licked you through every pulse, slow and greedy, humming happily like he couldnât get enough.
You were still trembling when he finally pulled away, breathing hard against the inside of your thigh. His eyes met yours in the mirror for a second, looking all desperate, almost frantic before he stood up and turned you around. His hands were shaking as they gripped your waist.
âCome here,â he said, voice rough, like the words were being dragged out of him. He kissed you immediately, with the need to taste the way youâd just fallen apart for him, âbed. I need you on the bed right now.â
You nodded, legs still unsteady, and he didnât wait. He lifted you, your back hitting the mattress a second later. He climbed over you fast, knees bracketing your hips, but instead of diving right in he paused, hovering above you, chest heaving. His eyes were wide, pupils blown, and for a split second you saw the soft Heeseung underneath all that intensityâthe one who always checked on you, the one who was terrified of messing this up.
âYou really want this?â He asked, voice cracking a little even though he was trying to sound sure. His hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your skin like he couldnât stop himself, âall the way, me inside you. Tell me you want it, baby, please.â
âI want it,â you whispered, reaching up to pull him closer by his chain, âI want you, Hee. Stop holding back.â
He let out a shaky breath and nodded, like he was steeling himself. He shoved the rest of his clothes off as you watched the pretty boy in front of you. It was clear how he wanted to prove a point, and you were gonna let him, granted he wasnât in the mood to talk, his faint muscles flexing was distracting you as well, but yeah, you were letting him take control.Â
He gripped your thighs and spread you open wider, breathing hard as he tried not to stare to the point he starts drooling because, lord, you looked absolutely stunning all spread out on his bed, looking up at him with need, bottom lip bitten. He lined up, the blunt head of his cock pressing right against your entrance, and for a second he just stayed there, breathing hard, eyes flicking up to yours like he was still fighting whatever storm was in his head.
âTell me again,â he said, âtell me you want this.â
âI want this,â you breathed, pulling him down into a messy kiss, tongues sliding deep right away, âI want you inside me, Hee. Stop thinking and just take me.â
He groaned into your mouth and pushed forward.
The first inch stretched you open, slow and thick. You both gasped against each otherâs lips.
âFuckâyouâre so tight,â he muttered, forehead pressed to yours, hips trembling as he held still, âjust the tip and youâre already gripping me like that. You okay?â
You nodded quickly, nails dragging lightly down his back, âkeep going, I can take more.â
He kissed you again, deeper this time, almost desperate, and rolled his hips forward on the second thrust as another inch sank in. The burn was sharp but so fucking good your back arched.
âShitâbaby,â he groaned, voice cracking. He sucked a hard mark right under your jaw, teeth grazing your skin as he pushed in a third time, slower, letting you adjust, âyou feelâgosh, you feel unreal, iâm trying not to lose it already.â
Your nails dug in harder, scratching down his shoulder blades as he gave one more careful thrust and finally bottomed out, hips flush against yours. The full stretch made you moan loud into his mouth, legs tightening around his waist.
Heeseung stilled completely, breathing ragged against your neck, trying not to whimper, âtalk to me. Does it hurt? Tell me the truth.â
âA little,â you whispered, âbut I love it. You feel so deep already. Move, baby, I need you to move.â
He started with slow, deep rolls of his hips, grinding against you on every stroke like he was still trying to stay in control. But you could feel the tension building in his body, the way his fingers dug into your thighs a little harder each time.
âYeah? Like this?â He asked, voice rougher now as he snapped his hips forward a little sharper, âyou want me to fuck you harder?â
âHarder,â you moaned, nails raking down his back again, leaving red lines, âdonât be gentle tonight. I want all of it.â
He dropped his head to your neck and bit down hard, sucking yet another dark mark into your skin as his hips suddenly slammed forward. The thrusts turned brutal, the bed creaking loudly under you. His chain slapped against your chest with every snap of his hips. He was fucking you like heâd been holding back for monthsâdesperate, almost punishing strokes that knocked the breath out of you.
âFuckâfuck, baby,â he groaned against your throat, voice completely wrecked, âyouâre taking me so fucking good. This pussy is mine tonight. Mine.â
You cried out and he kissed you again, tongues sliding messily while he pounded into you without any rhythm left. His hips stuttered, slamming harder, faster, completely mindless now, like every doubt in his head was being fucked out with every brutal thrust.
âShitâI canâtâcanât slow down,â he panted, âyou feel too good, gonna fuck you until you canât walk tomorrow.â
He was goneâeyes hazy, sweat dripping down his chest, hips snapping wildly as he lost himself inside you, chasing that raw, desperate need to prove he could be everything he thought you wanted. His chain bounced wildly against your chest, his fingers digging bruises into your thigh like he needed something to hold onto.Â
You were right there with him, body tightening, moans spilling out against his mouth, when the intensity tipped over into something too much, too fast. Your hand shot back, fingers digging into his hip.
âHeeseungâstop. Stop for a second.â
He froze mid-thrust, buried to the hilt, every muscle locking up at once. His breath hitched hard against your neck. For a long second the room was just the sound of both of you breathing, ragged and uneven. You could feel the panic crashing over him.Â
âFuckâdid I hurt you?â His voice cracked, he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes already glassy with tears that spilled over when he blinked, âshit, Iâm so sorryâI got too rough, I didnât mean to, I was trying so hard not to be soft and I justâfuck, I thought if I fucked you harder youâd want me, youâd stay, Iââ
His lip trembled. Another tear slid down his cheek and landed warm on your skin. He looked completely shattered, still deep inside you, like the idea that he might have hurt you was breaking him apart right there.
You cupped his face with both hands, thumbs gently brushing the tears from under his eyes, âbaby, shh. You didnât hurt me,â you whispered, voice soft, full of warmth, ânot even a little. I promise. You feel so good, Hee. Câmon breathe with me, okay?â
He stared at you, eyes wide and wet, lips pressed tight together like he was trying not to fall apart completely. He gave the smallest shake of his head, refusing to speak at first.
You leaned up and kissed him, just a gentle press of your lips until he softened into it, a shaky little exhale leaving him. When you pulled back you kept your forehead against his, thumbs still stroking his cheeks.
âTell me whatâs wrong,â you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, âI can feel it, baby. Somethingâs been eating at you. Please talk to me.â
Heeseung swallowed hard, eyes fluttering shut for a second as another tear slipped free. His voice came out small, cracked, almost ashamed.
âJaemin cornered me after class,â he whispered, âuhâhe said Iâm too soft, fucking whipped. That Iâm just a pathetic rebound and youâd get bored of me in a week because someone like me could never keep a girl like you. Said you need someone who can actually fuck you right, not some gentle loser,â his breath hitched, âI justâI didnât want to be that guy anymore. I wanted to prove I could be what you need, I know this isnât what you wanted, our whole FWB thing.â
You stayed right there, forehead pressed to his, thumbs still gently wiping his tears as you looked at him with nothing but softness in your eyes, heart hurting at how the guy who makes you the happiest was reduced to some loser by your pathetic excuse of an ex.Â
âI like you exactly how you are,â you let out, heat creeping up your neck, the position only making you feel more with his cock still buried deep in you.Â
âYâyou like me?â He gasped as you licked his tear away, âreally?â
âI do, Hee. I forgot about the whole no strings arrangement long back, I found myself wanting to spend more time with you, and who am I to deprive myself of happiness?â You chuckled, âyou canât force your feelings to go away, or change yourself, yâknow? Fuck Jaemin, he doesnât know shit, he could never make me cum and he definitely could never make me feel the way you do.â
Heeseung let out a shaky, broken exhale, his forehead still resting against yours as fresh tears welled up, âI thoughtâI thought I was ruining everything. I was so scared youâd realize Iâm just the rebound, and youâd leave. I didnât want to lose you, so I tried to be someone else tonight. Iâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head, âyou didnât ruin anything, Hee, not even close. You could never ruin this. Iâm right here, okay? Iâm not going anywhere, I donât mind you being rough or soft, yeah?â
He swallowed hard, âI donât want to be rough, I never really did. I just, I thought thatâs what you needed from me. But I want to be soft with you, can Iâcan I do that? Please?â
You couldnât help the soft chuckle that escaped you, the sound made his lips twitch, and then he was smilingâsmall, shy, and so genuinely relieved it made your heart squeeze. He immediately hid his face in the crook of your neck, embarrassed, his breath warm against your skin as he let out a quiet, shy laugh of his own.
âStop laughing at me,â he mumbled into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice, the way his shoulders relaxed.
âIâm not laughing at you,â you whispered, still chuckling as you threaded your fingers through his hair, âIâm laughing because youâre adorable, and I like you like this. Exactly like this.â
Heeseung lifted his head just enough to look at you again, eyes still glassy but now shining with something brighter as he managed another kiss, pouring every unsaid feeling into it. When he pulled back, his voice was soft.Â
âI love you,â he breathed out, âIâm so in love with you. I donât want no-strings, I want everything. Mornings where I wake up and youâre stealing my hoodie. Nights where we fall asleep tangled up like this, and I want all of it with you.â
You smiled against his lips, heart so full it felt like it might burst, âIâm falling in love with you too, Hee, I want all of that with you too.â
He whined, kissing you all clumsy, rolling his hips in long, loving strokes that made you feel every inch of him. The pace was unhurried, like he wanted to savor every second.
âFeel that?â He whispered, forehead pressed to yours, eyes locked on you, âI love being inside you like this. I love feeling you around meâso warm, so perfect.â
You moaned softly, legs wrapping tighter around him as you rocked up to meet his slow thrusts, âyou feel so good, baby.â
Heeseung smiled again with a giggle, hiding his face in your neck for a moment before kissing along your throat, âyouâre so beautiful,â he murmured between kisses, âthe way you look when Iâm inside you, the little sounds you make, I could stay like this for hours. Just loving you, just making you feel good.â
His hand found yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning it gently above your head while the other slid down to cup your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple in slow, tender circles. Every thrust was accompanied by quiet wordsâI love you, you feel incredible, never letting you go, whispered against your skin like prayers.
You squeezed his hand, âI love how you make me feel safe, donât ever change, okay?â
âI wonât, I promise, i just want to make you feel loved. Every single day.â
The room filled with nothing but the soft creak of the bed, your quiet moans, and his gentle praises. He kept the pace slow and deep, grinding against you on every thrust so your clit rubbed perfectly against him. His lips never left your skinâkissing your neck, your jaw, your mouth, your collarbone like he couldnât bear to stop touching you.
âYouâre everything to me,â he whispered, voice thick with emotion as he rolled his hips again, âIâm so lucky youâre mine. So fucking lucky.â
âIâm the lucky one, baby. Now keep loving me just like this, I never want this to end.â
Heeseung smiled against your mouth, eyes shining with pure adoration, and did exactly thatâloving you slow, deep, and full of so much tenderness it felt like the rest of the world had disappeared.
Just the two of you, and the moonlight in the room.Â
MEANWHILE:
You shushed Heeseung for the nth time as he smiled against your palm, but you were serious, peering down the hallway from the narrow alcove where youâd both hidden behind a pillar.
âStop smiling, youâre going to get us caught,â you whispered, though your own grin was fighting to break free.
Heeseung only chuckled quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your wrist, âcanât help it. You look so adorable trying to be all serious.â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart felt warm as his arms stayed wrapped around your waist from behind, chin resting on your shoulder.
The classroom door finally swung open. Students spilled out, and then Jaemin stepped into the hallway, laughing loudly with his friends.
The second you saw him, you stepped out without hesitation, you lifted the chilled cup and poured the entire icy matcha straight over his head from the first floor, the aim being too good to your surprise.Â
Jaemin gasped, stumbling back as green liquid drenched his hair and hoodie, âwhat the fuckââ
Loud laughter exploded from the crowd around him. Phones came out instantly, people whistling and clapping, and you didnât stay to admire your work.
You grabbed Heeseungâs hand and ran, both of you sprinting down the side hallway until you ducked into an empty stairwell, breathless and laughing.
âOh my god, his face,â you wheezed, back pressed against the wall.
Heeseung leaned over you, one hand beside your head, smiling so beautifully it made your knees weakâeyes crinkled, full of pure adoration and joy.
âYouâre insane, taking revenge for me again,â he said softly, âand Iâm so in love with you.â
You reached up, cupping his cheek. He leaned in and kissed you sweetly, so full of everything you two had become. When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he was still smiling that same breathtaking smile.
âI love you,â he whispered.
You kissed the corner of his mouth, grinning, and you did mean it with your whole heart as you proceeded to say.Â
GENRE/CW: smut, angst, fluff, porn with plot, slow burn, multiple smut scenes, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), lots of kissing, cunnilingus, blowjob, dry humping, fingering, car sex, mutual masturbation, spit kink, multiple orgasms, marking, crying. mentions of nicknames, pda, messy feelings and bets, subtle mentions of jaywon. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 30.9k words
SYNOPSIS: Jake is utterly oblivious to the fact that you are well aware how his sudden devotion to you is stemmed from nothing but a pathetic little bet. He is also unaware of the fact that you have been matching his energy, playing your part so convincingly that the line between performance and truth starts to blur, and you are not sure what is real anymore. OR, the classic bet trope twisted into bet inverse.
A/N: hihi loves <3 so i finally used my 2 year old idea and made it into a fic, it was soo fun to write and i could not have done it without doll (ily for sprinting w me always), i hope you guys enjoy it <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <3
CHAPTER ONE: Raised stakes.Â
If there was one word to describe Jake, it would be carefree.
Some deeper parts within him would care to disagree, however, he had perfected this art of burying them six feet under layers of easy smiles. At twenty-three, Jake was the hot Physics student pursuing Masters with a killer arm (or leg in this case) on the football field.Â
He had always been good at drowning out uneasiness with a bright grin, a well-timed joke that he somehow laughed at harder than the others, the easy way his hand would find the small of someoneâs back as he guided them through a crowded party. It worked, it always worked.
Hardworking to a fault, he balanced brutal training sessions, demanding coursework, and still found time to be the social glue of every group he touched. Clumsy in the most endearing waysâtripping over his own feet during victory celebrations or spilling his coffee down his jerseyâheâd just laugh it off, turning mishaps into stories.Â
So, in a word, Jake Sim was considered to be carefree by any living creature that had the slightest pleasure of meeting him.
And to put it simply, he enjoyed it. He basked in the attention thrown his way, not in a way that would label him as arrogant, it just came to him as easy as, well, breathing. All that effortless energy around him kept him sane, coming from a loving family, to having friends he could call his second family, he truly cherished it to the core.Â
Tonight the spring kickoff party in the quad thrummed under strings of warm fairy lights, the bass from the speakers mixing with the scent of grilled corn (to Jayâs absolute delight), spilled beer, and early cherry blossoms. Jake stood right at the center of it all, lean athletic build relaxed as he leaned against the brick pillar, red solo cup in hand, black hair falling in soft tousled waves. He ran his fingers through it absentmindedly while Heeseung gestured wildly mid-story, the group around him already cracking up at the enthusiasm of it all.Â
ââand then she just looks at me after the game, all flushed and smiling, and says you looked really good out there tonight. Next thing I know weâre back at her place and Iâm thinking, damn, maybe I should score more goals if this is the reward,â Heeseung said, smile wide as he took a swig from his cup.
Jay laughed at that, âyouâre too fucking easy,â he mumbled, taking a bite of corn, pairing it up with vodka right after.Â
Sunghoon leaned back against the pillar, smirking as he shook his head, âyou two are hopeless, now let me tell you guys about what real pleasure isââ
âSpare us the details,â Jeno mumbled, a tad bit tipsy with the amount of booze heâd been consuming, Jaemin holding him up, but his mind was elsewhere, planning something rather crazy to wash out the usual mundane conversation.Â
Jakeâs laugh rolled out bright, head tilting back and shoulders shaking with genuine amusement, âyou guys are practically whores,â he clicked his tongue, âbut yeahânothing beats that post-game high when someoneâs waiting for you looking like that. Makes all the bruises worth it.â He bit his lower lip lightly, still grinning as he scanned the lively surroundings, eyes crinkling warmly at the corners.Â
Across the grass, you stood with Jungwon and Karina near the low stone wall, Jungwon had dragged the two of you here earlier, insisting it would be lowkey fun because his Jay hyung had invited him and âitâs not like we have to stay forever.â The music played in the background, but your attention stayed on themâsharp little remarks about random campus drama, Karinaâs latest story about a disastrous blind date, the usual easy flow that made the noise somewhat bearable.Â
Jungwon glanced toward the center of the party, a small, reluctant smile tugging at his lips as he watched Jakeâs group, âJakeâs in full golden-boy mode tonight. Look at himâ Jay says heâs the same off the field, always cracking jokes even when everyoneâs half-dead from practice.â
Karina nodded, swirling the last of her drink slowly, âItâs almost unfair how he does that, wish i couldâve been that extroverted honestly.â
You followed their gaze without meaning to. Jake was mid-laugh again, black hair falling messily into his eyes as he ran a hand through it. The light catching the sharp line of his jaw, the way his whole body seemed to lean into the moment. Everyone around him was leaning in too, feeding off that bright, effortless warmth.Â
It made something tight and irritated coil low in your stomach. Not jealousy, no, just exhaustion at the performance of it all. The way the entire party seemed wired to orbit one guy who never seemed to run out of smiles or energy.
You shrugged, âheâs too loud. Must get exhausting pretending the worldâs that fun all the time.â
Jungwon bumped your shoulder lightly, his laugh soft and familiar, âcâmon, heâs not that bad. Jay swears heâs actually decent when you get him one-on-one. But yeah, he looks a wee bit too jolly tonight.â
Karina smirked, eyes glinting with teasing as she glanced at you, âyouâd probably shut him down in two seconds flat if he ever tried talking to you. Iâd pay to see that.â
You pressed your lips together for half a second, the thought of Jake Sim turning that sunshine smile on youâof him thinking he could just waltz into your carefully guarded spaceâsent a flicker of pure distaste through you. You werenât interested in being another notch, another story he told his friends the next day.Â
Your life revolved around the quiet satisfaction of getting things right, majorly focusing on, well, studies. Romance, especially the loud, golden-boy kind, had no place in it.
âExactly,â you said, tone edged with dry sarcasm, ânot interested. Letâs grab something from the food trucks and dip before it gets worse. Iâve hit my limit on forced fun for one night.â
You didnât mind being in the crowd as long as your friends were with you, however, you did mind the exhaustion creeping upon your body. No one but you were to be blamed for it. Going to the gym in the morning, catching up on lectures later, getting groceries, and now being at a partyâyouâd tired yourself out with the simple mindset of being busy is a blessing. It was true to some extent, albeit not in a way that your friends would agree. The conversation didnât dull as you started making your way out to eat with your best friends.Â
On the other side of the quad, Jake was only half-listening to the guys now, he felt himself getting comfortable in his smaller circle, it was exactly the kind of night Jake usually loved.
But his eyes kept drifting.Â
It wasnât as if it was his first time seeing you, especially when Jungwon was always around too, it was merely the fact that you kept your distance, always. Jake wasnât blind, he appreciated beauty which you carried around effortlessly. The lack of general courtesy to acknowledge strangers? Not so much.Â
You looked like you wished to be anywhere but here (which was true), making him wonder why. He ran his hand through his hair, messing the soft waves before smoothing them back down, a habit he barely noticed anymore.
Jaemin, who had been unusually quiet for the last minute, suddenly leaned in closer, voice dropping low enough that only their small circle could hear over the music, âwanna make things interesting?âÂ
Jay groaned, knowing his proposal would cause damage in the name of merriment, because thatâs how Jaemin thrived. Sunghoon was rather interested in knowing what was gonna be the deal here, and so, he continued.Â
âSee her? Jungwonâs friend?â The group turned and looked your way, Jay already opening his mouth to stop him, but of course, Jaemin was quicker, âmake her fall in love with you in a month.â
âWaitâme?â Jake echoed, the word half-laugh, half-disbelief, but the smile didnât quite reach his eyes the way it usually did.
Jaemin leaned in closer. His grin was sharp, almost scary, âyeah, you, in one month. Make Jungwonâs friend fall for you, hard. Like, actually in love with you to the point it gets public.â
Jayâs head snapped up so fast the corn on his plate nearly toppled, âJaemin, no. Sheâs notâfuck, sheâs not gonna be interested, at all. I literally know her, she keeps everyone at armâs length, especially guys like Jake, no offence.â
Sunghoonâs smirk didnât falter, but his eyes narrowed, interested now in a way that made Jakeâs stomach twist, âstakes?â
Jaemin didnât hesitate, âIf Jake winsâmakes her say it out loud, in front of usâhe gets the M4. Keys, papers, the whole matte-black beast. Mine for a month, and if he wants to keep it after that, itâs his. No take-backs.â
The circle went quiet for half a second before Heeseung let out a low whistle, cup frozen halfway to his mouth, âyour car? The one you wonât even let me sit in without a fucking background check?â
âYep.â
Jay dragged a hand down his face, shoulders tight, âJake, this is messed up. Youâll hurt her, and then youâll feel like shit, and sheâll hate you, and the whole groupâs gonna be stuck in the middle because Jungwonâs her best friend. This isnât a game, Itâs gonna blow up in both your faces.â
Jakeâs fingers found the back of his neck, then slid up into his hair without thinking. He messed them further, his eyes drifting across the quad again to where you were still walking away with Jungwon and Karina, posture straight, silver ring catching the light as you twisted it mindlessly.Â
He should say no. He should clap Jaemin on the shoulder, laugh it off, steer the conversation back to the upcoming football match or the thermodynamics midterm that was currently trying to murder all of them.Â
But something stubborn flickered in his chest. The same part that hated the idea of failing at the one thing he was supposedly best at, making people feel seen. You hadnât even looked at him twice.Â
One month, one girl who looked like she probably just needed someone nice to talk to and share her worriesâright?Â
Jake bit his lower lip for half a second, the way he did when he was locking in on a tricky play. Then the grin came back as bright and effortless, the one that always worked.
âDeal,â he said, not confident at all, though great at hiding it.
The group exploded, clearly not okay with the idea itself. Jay groaned louder, already shaking his head, âyouâre both idiots. This is gonna end badly.â
Sunghoon just laughed under his breath, leaning back against the pillar, âIâll take that bet too. Odds on Jake cracking first?â
Heeseung was already pulling out his phone, demanding proof in the form of media. Jaemin slapped Jakeâs shoulder hard enough to make his red solo cup slosh over the rim.
âDay one starts tomorrow, Jakey. Better bring everything youâve got.â
Jake laughed again, but when it settled, it left something quieter behind. Something that tasted a little (a lot) like doubt.
Later that night, when the place had emptied and the only sound left was the low hum of crickets, Jake lay on his back in his room. The mellow playlist he always played when the noise finally stopped drifted from his phone. His small notebookâthe one no one ever sawâwas open on his chest, a half-finished football formation doodled in the margin. He wrote one line.
She doesnât like loud spaces, or crowds.Â
He closed the notebook, pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, and exhaled into the dark.
âWhat the fuck am I doing?â He whispered.
Across campus, you were already in your room, bullet journal open on your desk, silver ring still on your finger. You didnât know about the bet yet. All you knew was that Jake Sim had never looked your way before last night, and something about the way his eyes had followed you across the grass fell off.
You pressed your lips together, biting the inside of your cheek once, then wrote in the tiniest handwriting in the margin of tomorrowâs schedule.
Keep your distance from Jake Sim.
CHAPTER TWO: Bet inverse?
Jakeâs alarm went off at 6:47 in the morning like it always did, but this morning he didnât bother hitting snooze. He stayed there for a few seconds, staring at the ceiling, the bet from last night practically sitting on his chest. Jaeminâs evil smile and Jayâs warning kept on repeating in his mind.
He should have let it go, instead, he rolled out of the bed, pulled on his black hoodie and shorts, laced up his running shoes after freshening up. He knew where Jungwon lived, the dorms near the science buildings where there was always an influx of food carts nearby.Â
The distance wasnât long per se, but his breathlessness certainly made it seem like it was, and the little hope he had to spot you in the cold of this morning.
The sky was soft gray before the sun decided to show up, and Jakeâs lungs were burning in a way that made him feel good, hair sticking to his forehead by the time he slowed to jog near the coffee cart.Â
To his absolute luck, he spotted you right there as you thought what you should order from the coffee cart, looking too proper in your jeans that fit you just right as if it wasnât so early in the morning, and he took a moment to observe you, breathing hard, wiping his face on the sleeve of his hoodie. He stepped up beside you, the scent of your perfume overtaking his senses.Â
His friends called him weird for this rather peculiar habit of his where he leaned in too much to get a sniff of, well, practically everything. So, it was hard fir him to control himself at the moment.
âY/N,â he said, voice low so it wouldnât startle you, âuhâhey.â
You turned, eyes meeting him before you granted him the smallest nod of acknowledgement, âJake.â
The barista waited and Jake kept his hands in his hoodie pocket so he wouldnât fidget, âone Americano for me, and whatever sheâs havingâIâll cover it.â
You frowned at this because Jake truly had no reason to be talking to you here, much less paying for your drink, âyou really donât have to.â
âI know.â He offered a half-smile, the real one, âbut I want to. Weâve been around each other enoughâJungwonâs parties, that study hall last semester. Felt kinda stupid that weâve never actually talked.â
You studied him a second longer, like you were trying to decide if this was a line or just politeness. Then you told the barista your usualâvanilla latte, extra shot, and stepped aside while the machine hissed to life.
The silence between you wasnât awkward exactly, Jake could feel the bet sitting heavy in his throat, but right now it was betterâthe way your perfume kept drifting over every time the breeze picked up. He wanted to lean in again, but he didnât.
When both cups came out he handed yours over carefully, no fingers touching, just the warm cardboard passing from his palm to yours.
âUhâthanks,â you said simply before you started walking.
He fell in beside you, matching your stride without crowding your personal space. The path was empty enough to give you both privacy which you didnât need as his heartbeat felt a little too loud in his ears, and for the first time, he found himself being nervous to talk to someone.Â
After half a minute you spoke again, âso how do you always act all nice for people you barely know?â
His lips curved, âI donât do that, not really. Usually Iâm the one everyone expects to keep things light,â he mumbled, âI saw you last night, you lookedâbothered? Made me wonder what itâd be like to actually talk to you instead of just watching.â
You took a sip, wondering how he so casually admitted to staring at you, âand whatâs the verdict so far?â
He glanced sideways, the early light was starting to hit the side of your face, âstill figuring it out. But the coffee seems like a decent start.â
You didnât smile, not really. But something in your expression eased, and it made him feel a little accomplished, as if heâd won something small and fragile that could disappear any moment.
The path split ahead, biotech building looming on the left. You slowed, turning to face him fully. For a second the guarded look cracked open, and he caught something underneath itâirritation, maybe, or the faintest flicker of curiosity you didnât want to admit to.
âIâve got lab,â you said.Â
Jake nodded, the easy warmth still on his face even though his stomach twisted with how badly he wanted to ask one more question, âyeah, of course. See you around, Y/N.â
You gave one small nod then turned and walked toward the doors. He stood there until you disappeared inside, the taste of black coffee bitter on his tongue and the ghost of your perfume still clinging to the air around him. He breathed it in once, almost guilty, then let it go.
Back in his dorm he dropped onto the bed still in his hoodie, the room quiet. The small notebook he never let anyone see was already open on his lap. He stared at the blank page for a long moment, before writing: Vanilla latte with an extra shot, morning lectures in lab 291.
He closed the notebook, pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, and stayed like that until the pressure behind them eased.
Meanwhile, you were beyond confused narrating it to Karina later, who gave you a dry chuckle, âyeah, donât entertain him,â she said, and you scoffedâas if youâd ever do that.Â
But three days had passed since the party, and it was as if Jake had made it his personal mission to accidentally run into you whenever you least expected him to. Somehow, he had managed to get your schedule, which is why he was standing outside your lecture on the very next day.Â
Jake was a poor actor and highly unaware of the same, so his exclaimed Oh, Y/N, felt rather comical to you, granted he had two coffees in his veiny hands. You chose to ignored him, face pulling into a natural smile for a second, and he stood there shocked, only to realize you were waving at Jungwon who stood behind him.
Jake stood there for a few minutes, not moving even when you had left while Heeseung and Sunghoon stood right there, judging him. Your smileâas brief as it was, had been pretty, too fucking pretty, and doubt crept up Jake. He wondered if heâll ever be able to coax that smile out of you himself.
The thought followed him through the rest of the day, sharp enough to make him reroute his afternoon lecture so he happened to be near the vending machines right as you stepped out of lab. He was there again the morning after that, leaning against the wall outside the biotech building with a single vanilla latte in hand, the extra shot already marked on the side in the baristaâs neat handwriting. Each time he appeared, he kept his voice low, never demanding more, though it felt like a blow to his ego how you actively tried to avoid him. He genuinely wished to talk to you (for the bet, of course).
By the third afternoon the rain had started, insistent against the library windows. You had slipped into the far back study nook, the one buried behind the tallest reference shelves, you needed itâneeded to bury yourself in studies and forget how Jakeâs persistence was beginning to thread through your days like a melody you couldnât quite shake.
You pulled out your bullet journal and started annotating protocols for the upcoming lab, pen moving with sharp precision, and you felt a presence behind you. You were most ready to snap at Jake, but it was Jaemin who found you instead.
He dropped into the chair across from you, smirking, like he had been waiting for this exact moment, âJakeâs been hanging around you a lot lately,â he said, voice light but knowing, âyou might fall for him.â
You set your pen down slowly, âwhat makes you think Iâll fall for him?â
Jaeminâs smirk deepened, âwell, chances are less but certainly never zero.â
You frowned, irritation rising, âwhat do you want, Jaemin?â
âI was getting to it.â He leaned forward, eyes glinting, âI wanna propose another bet since Iâm bored and I clearly care for you.â
âAnother bet?â You asked, brain finally working. Jake was following you around for a fucking bet, you shouldâve known.Â
Jaemin watched your face change and his grin widened, âI give you thirty days to make him fall for you. And I mean truly head-over-heels kind of fall, then reject him, then you win, since you clearly donât care about him.â
You stared at him, the words tasting bitter on your tongue, âI donât want to be involved playing with feelings.â
âIf he didnât care for your feelings, why are you holding back?â
âCause Iâm not like him?âÂ
âFair, but hereâs the dealââ Jaemin leaned in closer, voice dropping.
âIsnât he your friend?â
âYeah.â
âSo?â
âItâs fun.â
âYouâre insane.â
âSo Iâve been told.â
âWhat is he getting out of this?â
âMy car.â
Another scoff left your mouth at this, and Jaemin said heâd give you anything you wanted if youâd win. Nothing was in your mind honestly, but you were too pissed to let it go.
âAnd what will I get?â
âA chance to absolutely shatter Jakeâs ego, and that trip to Paris with your friends, youâve been eyeing it for a while now.â
âHow the fuck did youââ
âI have my ways,â he shrugged, but his eyes, oh his eyes were glimmering with joy. He almost seemed like a Cheshire cat.Â
So you agreed. Jaemin only smiled, walking away from you now, leaving you rather disturbed.Â
As if the universe itself had been listening, Jake walked past the end of the aisle at that exact moment, eyes scanning the shelves until they landed on you. You met his gaze head-on and gave him the smallest smile you owned, and he paused mid-step, lips parting like he might say something, then you looked away, not bothering with him anymore than you had today.
The game had just begun. And this time, you were the one holding the cards.
CHAPTER THREE: Ignorance isnât blissÂ
You ignored Jake.Â
It was rather easy to do so despite all the plans you had brainstormed to make him fall in love with you hopelessly. The day had been too hectic, and to say you were exhausted would be an understatementâeven the slightest voice would absolutely make you scream out in frustration given the state of your mind. Which is why you found yourself sitting in the bleachers, all silent and calm.Â
Truth be told, you didnât wish to get into this mess by any means, however, Jake wasnât one to give up. You scoffed at how heâd trade any strangerâs feelings for a stupid car, and even then heâd be celebrated for winning a bet.Â
Jake didnât know why but the past few days had been weird for him. He couldnât understand why you smiled at him in the library only to abruptly disappear from the face of the earth nextâand yes, it bothered him because the time was ticking by. Maybe Jake was a lucky guy, cause right then, he found you at the bleachers, sitting up there as if trying to hide from the world.Â
It was clear you didnât wish to be disturbed, by Jake of all people, but his feet carried him before his mind could keep up, and thatâs how he found himself sitting three seats away from you, prepping to show his absolute best flirt game, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was, âare you okay?â
âWhy are you everywhere?â You exasperated, finally turning to look at him despite knowing heâd found you before.Â
For once he didnât jump in with some easy line. He just sat there a second, elbows on his knees, watching you like he was actually trying to read the mood instead of skating past it.
âI saw you from the path,â he said, âyou were up here alone, I figured Iâd check if you were okay. Thatâs it.â
You let out a sharp breath, the exhaustion from your day mixing with the frustration that had been building since Jaemin dropped his little bomb about the bet. This is all fake, you reminded yourself. Heâs only here because he wants that stupid car, that bet.Â
âChecking in, right. Youâve been turning up at the coffee cart, outside my lectures, the vending machines, now here. Iâm not in the mood for whatever this is.â
He shifted one seat closer, jacket creaking a little, but still left space between you, âIâm not trying to push. I know it probably comes off like Iâm in your face every day. Itâs justâyou always seem like youâre carrying a lot and youâre doing it alone. I guess I wanted to see if you were actually alright or if you were just pushing through.â
You turned to face him, eyes narrowing, âpushing through is what students do, Jake. I donât need an audience for it.â
âYeah, I see that,â he said, gulping as he stared at your side profile, âyouâre pretty resilient about it. Most people wouldâve already vented to someone by nowâand maybe you did to your friends but yeah.â
âResilient?â You let out a short laugh, âor just tired of everyone expecting me to perform. Unlike the quintessential golden boy whoâs always got a smile ready.â
Jake winced, looked out at the empty field for a second, then back at you, âgolden boyâouch, fair though. Thatâs the label I got stuck with.â
You crossed your arms tighter, âso, why are you up here trying to talk to me instead of being there with your friends? It doesnât add up.â
He rubbed his palm over his knee, âuhâwith them itâs nonstop noise, like I love my friends but itâs all just football practice, jokes, keeping the energy up no matter what. With youâit doesnât feel like I have to be that version of me.â
Jake leaned forward a fraction, elbows on his knees, âthereâs this whole dichotomy between what everyone sees and whatâs actually going on inside. Talking to you, itâs not like that.â
âNot like that,â you repeated, the words coming out flat, âhow convenient, Jake.â
He swallowed again, eyes flicking to your face as you said his name, âItâs not convenient, Itâs just true. You donât expect me to keep the vibe going, yâknow? You just say what you think.â
You felt your chest tighten. He sounded so damn eloquent even when he was lying, âyouâre really good at this, you know? Making it sound like you actually get it.â
âIâm not trying to be good at anything,â Jake said, voice dropping, âI just keep showing up because every time I do, I see more of the real you. Not the version you show everyone else.â
You let out a breath, he could definitely get a few points for acting, âokay, so listen thenâmy lab did suck today. Equipment kept failing, Iâm behind on three lectures, and I came up here to be alone, thatâs it. Nothing exciting.â
âHeyâi didnât ask for exciting,â he said, staring at the way your fingers still twisted the ring, âmy day was shit tooâcoach rode us hard about tomorrowâs game and I barely studied for my midterm. Sometimes I just want to sit somewhere and not pretend everythingâs perfect.â
You stared at him, âso you picked me to sit with? Out of everyone on campus?â
âYeah,â Jake said simply, meeting your eyes, âbecause you donât expect anything from me. You call me on my shit. Itâs nice, I guess.â
âWhatever, Iâm fine keeping my distance and acting like you care wonât change that, okay?âÂ
âI do care,â Jake let out too quickly, surprised at his own words, âthatâs the part you donât believe, but itâs true.â
The conversation was getting too real, too fast, and the knowledge of the bet made every word feel like a trap, âItâs exhausting trying to figure out if any of this is real or if youâre justââ
Mid-sentence, just as your voice rose, Jake closed the gap by embracing you into a hug. His arms wrapping around you without hesitation, one hand settling at your back, the other across your shoulders. The dark jacket was soft against your cheek, still warm from the afternoon sun, carrying that clean, steady scent that was just him.
You practically froze as his heartbeat thudded against your earâfast, as if the move had surprised him too. It was warm, really warm, making everything feel a little less heavy for a second. Even though you knew this was all part of the cursed bet, the gesture was still something, making your eyes sting. You couldnât remember the last time someone had held you like they actually meant it.
Jakeâs own breath caught as he held you. His pulse wouldnât slow down, guilt and something else he couldnât pinpoint made his heart seem heavier. For those few seconds he just held on, chin resting lightly against the top of your head, breathing you in like he could somehow make the whole stupid situation disappear.
It was awkward, because you in fact did not reciprocate the hug that well, proceeding to pull back with your cheeks burning. Jakeâs hands stayed on your shoulders for half a second longer than they should have before he let go, looking just as thrown as you felt. He closed his eyes, biting on his bottom lip too hard, panicking cause for once, he didnât know how to handle the situation.Â
The anxiety only rose as you grabbed your bag, planning on getting up, however, his slender fingers wrapped around your wrist, âIâve got a game tomorrowâIt would mean a lot if you came, no pressure. You donât have to stay the whole time or cheer or anything. Just comeâif you want to for a break.â
You didnât answer right away, watching him mutter it out all breathless, hair messy and cheeks seemingly red now. You barely caught on to his words, still processing the warmth, but a part of you did wish to reject him on the spot and walk away before the things got more complicated.Â
Another part wondered what would happen if you actually showed up, since you did have your own bet to take care of.Â
CHAPTER FOUR: Like a rom-com actorÂ
The next afternoon the stadium was already packed and buzzing when Jake stepped onto the field for warm-ups. He was supposed to be loosening up his legs, listening to the coach bark instructions, getting his head in the game. Instead his eyes kept flicking up to the stands every few seconds. The wind was blowing hard across the pitch, constantly shoving his black hair into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back.
Jay jogged over and bumped his shoulder, âdude, earth to Jake? Youâve been staring up there like youâre waiting for the love of your life to appear. You good?â
Sunghoon, who was retying his cleats a few feet away, let out a low laugh, âheâs been doing it nonstop. Head snapping up every ten seconds. Whatâs got you so distracted today? You never get like this before a home game.â
Jake rubbed the back of his neck, forcing a casual laugh even though his stomach was doing flips, âIâm fine, just looking for someone.â
Jay raised an eyebrow, exchanging a quick glance with Sunghoon, âsomeone? As in a specific someone whoâs basically a bet? Damn, this must be serious if itâs got you this antsy within a week.â
Jake didnât get the chance to answer, because he finally spotted you.
You were sitting a few rows up with Jungwon and Karina, the wind tugging at your hair the same way it was messing with his. The second your eyes met his across the field, Jakeâs breath caught hard in his throat. His heart slammed against his ribs becauseâyou actually came? For a second he forgot how to move, just standing there staring like an idiot while the wind kept pushing his hair everywhere.
You gave him a small smile and lifted your hand, waving at him softly.
Jakeâs whole face lit up before he could stop it. Without thinking, he waved back enthusiastically, arm swinging high and wide as if he was trying to reach you from the middle of the pitch. His hair flew wildly in the wind as he did it, the motion so eager and over-the-top that Jay choked on his water and Sunghoon doubled over laughing so hard he had to grab onto Jayâs arm to stay upright.
âWhat the fuckââ Sunghoon wheezed, âyou just waved like a little kid who spotted his mom after school. Iâve never seen you do that in my life.â
Jay was cracking up too, wiping water off his chin, âyeah heâs absolutely finished. Down horrendously bad and itâs not even been a few days.â
âGuess we know whoâs gonna lose the bet,â added Hoon in a singsong voice.Â
âHe never stood a chance honestly.â
Meanwhile, around you, a bunch of girls in the stands noticed Jakeâs dramatic wave and immediately started squealing, waving back excitedly and calling out his name like heâd waved at all of them. A few even stood up, cheering for him loudly.
You raised an eyebrow, watching the chaos unfold with a mix of amusement and slight disbelief, âdamn,â you muttered, glancing at the crowd, âhe sure is famous.â
âAnd a player,â added Jungwon.Â
âAnd an asshole,â quipped Karina, arms crossed over her chest.Â
You had told them, of course you did, and watching them get so enraged on behalf of you did make you feel tons better, which shouldnât have been the case since they did threaten to chop Jakeâs dick off, but hey, the way Karina said it was quite comical.Â
Down on the field Jay spotted Jungwon in the stands and lifted his hand in a casual wave with a clueless grin on his face like nothing in the world was wrong. Jungwon just stared back with his jaw tight, not waving back as he was convinced Jay already knew about the bet and was somehow backing Jake up, and the thought made his expression go hard.
You nudged Jungwonâs side with your elbow, keeping your voice low, âcâmon, be normal, wave back or heâs gonna think somethingâs weird.â
Jungwon let out a reluctant huff, but he finally lifted his hand and gave a small, stiff wave. Jayâs grin widened like nothing had happened at all, and he turned back to the field, completely oblivious.
Karina groaned beside you, pulling her knees up to her chest against the wind, âI still canât believe weâre freezing our asses off here when we could be on your couch watching Harry Potter for the nth time.â
You let out a small laugh despite everything, the sound almost swallowed by the growing roar of the crowd as the teams lined up, âyou said youâd come for moral support.â
âYeah, well, moral support is currently questioning every life choice that led me here,â she muttered, but there was a reluctant smile tugging at her lips anyway, âat least the view isnât completely terrible.â
The whistle blew and the game kicked off in a whirlwind of motion. You tried to follow the ball, the quick passes, the way the players cut across the pitch, but your eyes kept drifting back to Jake. He moved with this radiant energy that pulled focus without even trying, hair whipping in the wind, legs eating up the grass, every sprint full of that effortless, captivating drive. The crowdâs cheers rose and fell in effervescent waves, but you didnât feel any better, still suffering with that familiar push-pull of suspicion and something warmer you really didnât wish to name.
The first half was all back-and-forth tension, both teams trading chances without anyone breaking through. Jungwon kept up a quiet running commentary under his breath, trying to keep things light, while Karina complained about the cold seeping through her jacket and how much better butterbeer would taste than the lukewarm soda they were selling. You nodded along, but your attention stayed glued to Jake, much to your friendsâ dismay. Every time he glanced toward the stands, even mid-run, your chest did this annoying little flip, which pissed you off.Â
Then the second half heated up. The score stayed locked until the final minutes, the air thick with anticipation. Jake got the ball near the edge of the box, dodged one defender, then another as he cut inside. The crowd held its breath as he struck it clean, a powerful curving shot that sailed straight into the top corner, past the keeperâs desperate reach.
The stadium lit up into celebration but Jake didnât celebrate with the team right away. He turned straight toward the stands, eyes scanning until they found you. Then he pointed, right at you, his whole face breaking into this bright, almost whimsical smile as he jogged backward, arm still extended like he was making sure the entire world knew exactly who that goal was for. His jersey had ridden up in the sprint, revealing the sharp, glistening lines of his abs under the stadium lights, every defined ridge catching the late afternoon sun for a fleeting second before the fabric fell back down.
Your heart raced, oh that traitorous little thing, thudding hard enough that you could feel it in your throat. Heat rushed to your cheeks even as the knowledge of the bet sat heavy in your stomach, whispering that none of this was real. Still, for that split second, with the roar of the crowd and his hair messy in the wind and that radiant look aimed straight at you, it felt too much. Too real perhaps? Too dangerous regardless. The enigmatic pull of him was getting harder to ignore, and you hated how easily your body responded anyway.
Karina snorted beside you, rolling her eyes so hard it was almost theatrical, âoh my god, could he be any more performative? Pointing like heâs the hero in some cheesy romance movie, puh-lease.â
Jungwon chuckled quietly, but his eyes flicked to you with that same protective glint from earlier. You didnât say anything, just stared down at the field as Jake got swarmed by his teammates, the final whistle blowing and the win sinking in. The crowd was still cheering wildly, but all you could feel was the lingering echo of that pointed finger and the confusing satiation it left within your chest.
Jungwon turned to you, voice low so only you could hear, âso, youâre actually going through with the plan?â
You let out a long sigh, shoulders dropping as you pushed yourself up from the bleacher. The metal was cold under your palms, âyeah, I kinda have to now. Itâs the only way to beat him at his own game.âÂ
Karina stood too, brushing off her jeans with a dramatic huff, âletâs get out of here before I turn into an icicle, you better make him drop down on his knees, babe.â
You nodded, hugging them both, but instead of heading toward the exit, your feet carried you toward the locker room area. You hated this part already, leaning against the brick wall, arms wrapped around yourself against the biting wind, you waited, every second dragging like you were standing there on purpose just to prove a point to yourself.
The door eventually did swing open and you watched Jake stepping out, hair still damp from the shower and curling softly at the ends, a fresh black hoodie hanging loose over his frame. He was laughing at something one of the guys said behind him when his eyes landed on you, causing him to stop mid-step.
For a second he just stared, surprise flickering across his face before it melted into this softer, brighter, almost disbelieving expression. His lips parted, and then he broke into the biggest, most genuine smile you had seen on him yet. It was radiant, boyish in how uncontained it was, his eyes lighting up like you were the best part of his entire day, and it made your throat go dry.
âHeyâyouâre still here,â he said, voice warm and a little breathless as he walked straight over to you.Â
You pushed off the wall, trying to keep your expression casual even as your heart picked up speed, âyou played really well out there. That last goal was incredible, it was the first time I experienced the whole stadium going crazy,â you said, completely ignoring the part where he dedicated that goal to you.
Jakeâs smile grew even wider, the kind that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. He ran a hand through his damp hair, still looking at you like he couldnât quite believe you were standing there, âyou really stayed for the whole thing. God, that means a lot. I kept looking up into the stands and there you were. Iâit motivated me, I canât even explain it.â
He looked so happy, so openly thrilled, his eyes bright and captivating under the fading stadium lights. The way he was looking at you, like your presence genuinely made his day, made something dangerous flutter in your chest despite the reality of it all. You stepped a little closer, heart hammering, and did what you had to do.
You rose onto your toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, letting it linger for a second, âUhmâIâll see you around,â you murmured against his skin, starting to pull back.
But Jakeâs hand gently caught your wrist, stopping you. His touch was light, almost careful, like he was afraid youâd vanish if he held on too tight, since this did seem like a dream to him. Behind him, Heeseung had paused in the doorway, watching the whole exchange with an amused little smirk he wasnât even trying to hide.
âWait,â Jake said softly, still processing the kiss, his thumb brushing once over your skin, âyouâre leaving already?â
You swallowed, âyeah. I have an assignment I need to finish tonight.â
He nodded, but didnât let go right away, âright, of course.â Then, a little shyly, he added, âthereâs a party at the house tonightâbut if that doesnât work, weâre having a smaller one at the dorm in a few days. Just the guys and whoever shows up. You should come, I promise Iâll make it worthwhile for you.â
You hesitated, the warmth of his fingers and the hope in his eyes making it harder than it should have been, âIâm not really a party person, Jake.â
âI know,â he said quickly, voice gentle, âthatâs why Iâm telling you itâll be chill. No pressure at all, just come hang out for a bit. Iâll even make sure thereâs something better than cheap beer. Please?â
The way he looked at you, so earnest and a little nervous, made you feel guilty just a smidge. You could feel Heeseungâs amused gaze on the both of you, but you kept your focus on Jake.
âIâll think about it,â you said finally, offering a small smile.
Jakeâs eyes lit up like youâd already said yes. âThatâs all Iâm asking for.â
You gave him one last nod before gently pulling your wrist back and turning to leave, but Jakeâs hand caught your wrist again, gentle in his action, like he couldnât let the moment slip away just yet. He gave a light tug, drawing you back toward him until your back pressed against his chest. For a heartbeat you felt the solid warmth of him behind you, the faint dampness of his hoodie, the steady rhythm of his breathing. Then he leaned down, one arm slipping loosely around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.
His lips were plump and soft, warm from the shower, staying there for a second longer than necessary. The touch was rather unhurried, sending a quiet shiver through you that had absolutely nothing to do with the wind.
âJakeââ
When he pulled back, he bit his lower lip, eyes bright and a little shy as they met yours, âIâll see you tomorrow,â he said, voice hopeful, like the words were a promise he was already holding onto.
You managed a small nod, heart still stumbling over itself, and finally stepped away. The spot on your cheek stayed warm long after you turned the corner, and you wondered how this game was gonna end.Â
CHAPTER FIVE: Soaked and blue balled.Â
She gets cold so fast, shoulders hunch up the second wind hits.
She keeps twisting the rings on her index and ring finger.
She has a faint dimple on her right cheek.
She fits perfectly in my arâ
Now, Jake had not the faintest clue where he was going with this, yet he kept on writing under the pretence of keeping all the minute observations in a precise manner for his advantage. He stared at the page for another moment, then shut the notebook and tossed it onto his desk.Â
The ever so unforeseeable rain had started hammering against his window, and he watched one single raindrop cascading down the surface before he sat right up, grabbing an umbrella to head out without any destination in his mind. Well, he did have to bring Jay back from Jungwonâs dorm (who was facing this taxing challenge of acting normal around his hyung). It didnât go beyond that really.
He wasnât used to this silence and peace, he never really went out in the rain, calling it the perfect time to just play games with his friends. However, it was truly hard to pinpoint what made him rush out like this, only coming back to reality once he reached the lecture hall area. He was about to keep walking when he saw you pushing through the doors with Haechan beside you. Jake knew him, he was Jenoâs friend and also one of the dude who fucked around a lot.
Jake wasnât any better by any means, but he hadnât even thought of such a thing in the past eleven days. He simply stopped, watching how your umbrella showed no signs of cooperating in this windy weather, and your shoulders were starting to hunch in the same way Jake had noticed during his half time game yesterday.Â
He jogged to you, dismissing any other thought, especially the one that sounded a lot like Jayâs voice laughing at him for being too involved, âheyâwait up!â
You turned around, rain evident on your lashes already, and in that fleeting second, your mind was quick to admit his beauty under the dimness of the evening.Â
He lifted his umbrella higher, covering you completely as you lowered yours, the wide canopy shutting out the worst of the storm and pulling the two of you into a small, private bubble.
âJayâs over at your dorm with Jungwon right now,â he said, a little out of breath, water dripping from the ends of his hair. âHe needed some notes or something. I was heading there anyway to pick him up. Come on, my umbrellaâs bigger.â
You glanced at your own umbrella, which was flapping uselessly, âI have one.â
âYeah, but itâs not doing you much good,â Jake replied, stepping closer so the shelter stayed perfectly over you. His shoulder brushed yours as you started walking, âseriouslyâyouâll be soaked before you even get halfway. Let me walk you.â
Haechan gave you a quick, amused look and muttered something about seeing you in lab tomorrow before disappearing down another path with a wave, making you roll your eyes as he made missy faces, which Jake noticed.
The two of you fell into step under the umbrella. Jake kept it tilted toward you even when it meant his own left side kept getting wet. The closeness was apparent, his arm warm against yours, the faint clean scent of his shampoo mixing with the wet earth and rain. Every time you stepped around a puddle, his sleeve brushed your wrist, sending a small spark up your arm.
For a minute the only sound was the rain. Then Jake spoke, voice low and a little playful, âyou know, I was halfway convinced youâd avoid me today after yesterday.â
You let out a small breath of laughter, âI thought about it, then I remembered I donât own a boat and the campus flooded.â
He grinned, glancing down at you. The way the rain made your lashes look darker, the little droplets clinging to your skin, made his stomach flip, âlucky for me then. I wouldâve been stuck walking alone, getting soaked, feeling so sorry for myself.â
âYouâre still getting soaked,â you pointed out, noticing how his left shoulder was dark with water. Without thinking you shifted a little closer under the umbrella, your arm pressing more firmly against his.
Jake bit down his smile, âworth it. Besides, youâre warm and Itâs nice.â His voice dropped a fraction, âare you always freezing or is it just me that brings the chill?â
You rolled your eyes, but your lips curved despite yourself, âItâs the rain, genius. Though you do have a habit of making normal things seem complicated.â
âComplicated in a good way, I hope,â he said, the words light but his eyes searching yours for a second longer than necessary. His free hand brushed yours again as you both avoided another puddle, and this time his fingers lingered for half a second before he managed to pull himself back.
The rain kept falling, steady and heavy, but under the umbrella everything felt smaller, rather warmer, you noticed how steady his breathing was, how the warmth of him seemed to chase away the chill seeping into your bones. He bit the inside of his cheek because in that moment, he wasnât really acting, the wanton ease you provided him with was too real.
âYouâre weird,â you muttered, clearly not meaning any bit of it, and he knew the implication behind it, or maybe it was his maladaptive daydreaming.
The dorm building appeared through the silver curtain of rain. Jake slowed deliberately, drawing the last few steps out as if the walk could stretch forever. When you reached the small covered overhang by the entrance, he lowered the umbrella but didnât step away. Instead he moved in closer, guiding you gently until your back met the cool brick wall. The overhang sheltered you both from the downpour, but the world narrowed to the narrow space between your bodies and the solid wall behind you.
He was close now, so close you could see the tiny freckles across his cheek, the way his damp hair curled softly at the temples yet again, the faint flush across the bridge of his nose from the cold. His gaze moved over your face with quiet hunger, taking in every detailâthe way rain glistened on your skin, the soft flush on your cheeks, the faint dimple that appeared when your lips parted slightly. You looked so pretty like this, natural and glowing in the dim light, and the sight made his throat tighten.
You raised your eyebrow, heart hammering against your ribs, âJake?â
He only smiled, slow and unsteady, biting down on his bottom lip as he leaned in closer, closer, until the space between you was almost gone. His eyes dropped to your mouth, dark and wanting, then lifted again to meet yours. In that suspended second neither of you were thinking about the bet, about the car, about the game you were both playing. There was only the rain, the warmth of his breath against your skin, and the dizzying pull that made everything else disappear.
Right then the dorm door swung open with a loud metallic scrape.
Jay stepped out, nearly walking straight into the moment. He stopped short, eyes widening as he took in how close you and Jake were standing against the wall.
âWhoa, Y/N?â Jay said, a smirk already spreading across his face, âam I interrupting something?â
Your eyes widened in realization and you slipped sideways, ducking under Jakeâs arm without a word. You pushed through the door and disappeared inside, cheeks burning, the echo of the almost-kiss still buzzing hot in your mind.
Jake stayed frozen, then groaned hard. He turned and leaned back against the same brick wall, eyes falling shut as the rain continued to fall around him, umbrella now lowered. His heart was still racing, loud and unsteady, the ghost of your warmth lingering against his chest.Â
He let out a slow breath, jaw tight. Iâm going to kill Jay.
CHAPTER SIX: Jaemin the instigator.Â
Jake had only read a few books in his life, only one of which had a plot that truly stuck with him as someone who was never an avid enjoyer of reading literature. There was a line that kept replaying in his mind lately, more often than he cared to admit.
As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen.
Funny enough, it was from Winnie the pooh.Â
It isnât a romantic line, not even remotely, but he manages to fit it into his narrative perfectly, especially during the quiet. Mind drifting back to when the rain had been dripping from the eaves and your back had been against the brick and heâd leaned in close enough to feel the warmth of your breath. The bet had started as a stupid game. Now it felt like the kind of quiet adventure he hadnât seen coming.
Unfortunately, the distraction followed him to the practice field.Â
During a simple change-of-direction drill, his mind slipped again. The ball came low across the turf and Jake planted his left foot to cut inside, making his ankle roll with an ugly twist. It wasnt anything dramatic, just a sharp flare of pain that shot up his calf and dropped him to one knee, breath hissing between his teeth.
Jay reached him first, crouching down fast, âshit, Jake, what the hell? You good?â
Heeseung slowed beside them, still breathing hard, âdude, youâve been completely zoned out all week, likeâreally zoned out. This bet is fucking with your head too much, just call it off, man. For real.â
Sunghoon hung back a step, arms crossed, watching quietly, âcoach is gonna notice, yâknow? Itâs not worth it.â
Jake sat back on the grass, testing the ankle with a careful flex, the place already swelling under the sock. Minor, probably, but it hurt enough to make his eyes sting for a second,âItâs fine,â he muttered, forcing the usual half-smile, âjust a tweakâIâm good.â
From the edge of the drill Jaemin let out a soft, pleased laugh, âor this is actually perfect timing. Wounded-puppy Jake? Sheâs gonna eat it up.â He clapped Jake on the back once, âIâll handle it. You just stay looking all soft and grateful.â
Jay shot him a sharp look, âJaemin, I swear to Godââ
But Jaemin was already jogging off to find you.Â
You were stepping out of your last lecture when Jaemin fell into step beside you, which was kind of scary.Â
âJakeâs in the medical room,â Jaemin said casually, making your eyes go wide at the sudden voice, âtwisted his ankle pretty bad at practice. Trainerâs got him taped up with ice, might even sit out the next game if it swells.â
A flicker of worry did pass through your head, but then you shrugged, âhm, kinda sounds minor.â
Jaeminâs smirk was small, âcâmon, this is perfect for the bet. Heâs all vulnerable right now, best time for you to go and play nurse, make him fall a little harder. Youâre already halfway there anyway.â He bumped your shoulder lightly.Â
You sighed, the worry sitting heavier than you wanted to admit. Pretty bad, heâd said, âfineâIâll check on him.â
Jaemin grinned, satisfied, âatta girl.â He peeled off toward the dorms.
You told yourself you werenât going to bring anything. But the cafeteria line was short, and the smell of warm rice and simple broth pulled you in anyway. You ended up with a container of congee, a cold can of the original red bull, and two slightly squished steamed buns. Your hands stayed steady, but your pulse? Yeah, it didnât.
The medical room door was halfway open. You knocked once with your elbow and stepped inside.
Jake was on the padded table, left leg propped up, ice pack soggy at the edges. His practice jersey hung open, undershirt damp against his chest, dark curls still messy and sticking to his temples. He looked tiredâshoulders a little slumped, the usual bright energy dialed way down. For a second you just stood there in the doorway, and Jakeâs eyes lifted to meet yours.
He gulped at the sight of you, the way a few strands of hair had slipped loose after class, the small crease between your brows that you probably didnât even realize was there. You looked pretty like this.
Jay and Heeseung were hovering nearby. The second they saw you with the bag, they exchanged a quick glance.
Jay cleared his throat, lips twitching, âwell, look who showed up.â
Heeseung pushed off the wall with a low chuckle, âwe were just leaving anyway. Coach wants us back on the field.â He gave Jakeâs shoulder a gentle clap. âDonât be an idiot, yeah?â The two of them slipped out, the door clicking shut behind them and leaving the room suddenly quieter.Â
Jake cleared his throat, bottom lip bitten as he observed you walking closer, âIâyou didnât have to come,â he mumbled, flustered all of a sudden.Â
âYouâre really being shy at me visiting you? Arenât you the flirt of the campus?â You chuckled, âbut yeah, heard you fucked up your ankle pretty bad, figured youâd be hungry.âÂ
His ears flushed red, âyeah, wellâI wasnât expecting anyone here, least of all you showing up here with food,â he shifted on the padded table, wincing a little, âthanks, genuinely. I was mentally preparing myself to order takeout today.â
You set the bag on the counter, pulling out the container and a spoon, handing them over. Your fingers brushed his, absorbing the warmth of his skin, and he took the food with a grateful smile.Â
He peeled the lid back and took the first bite. His eyes fluttered shut for half a second. âGod, this is actually really good,â he murmured, âway better than anything I wouldâve scavenged later.â He ate quietly after that, the spoon scraping softly against the plastic, but every few bites his gaze lifted to you.Â
You dragged the plastic stool closer and sat down beside the table, elbow resting on the edge near his good leg, watching the way his throat moved when he swallowed, the small crease between his brows when he shifted his ankle, the way his damp hair fell across his forehead. He looked softer like this, stripped of the usual energyâwhich you had grown accustomed to.
âDoes it hurt too much?â You asked.
Jake shrugged one shoulder, âthrobs like a bitch when I put any weight on it. Nurse said itâs just a swelling, Iâll survive.â He took another bite, then glanced at you again, heart warm at the sight of you going out of your way to be hereâeven though it stemmed from Jaemâs instigations. âYou didnât have to do this, you know. I know you had a full day.â
âIt wasnât that far out of the way,â you lied, because admitting youâd gone to the cafeteria on purpose felt too revealing, âbesides, someone had to make sure you didnât try to be a hero and walk on it.â
He let out a low chuckle, âguilty, I probably wouldâve.â He set the container down for a moment, fingers brushing the edge of the table near your arm. The contact was light, accidental, but it stayed there a second too long, âyouâre really something else, you know that?â
You felt the heat creep up your neck but didnât pull away, instead, you leaned in a little closer, resting your chin on your folded arms on the edge of the table, âeat the rest before it gets cold, idiot. Iâm not carrying you anywhere.â
Jake grinned, small and crooked, but his eyes stayed soft on your face. He kept eating, slower now, like he was dragging the moment out. Your eyelids grew heavy. The day pressed down on you all at onceâthe lectures, the walking, the quiet ache of pretending this was still just part of the game. You let your head rest fully on your arms, cheek against the cool edge of the table, close enough that your breath stirred the fabric of his shirt. Just for a minute, you told yourself.
You didnât mean to fall asleep, but the warmth of the room, the steady sound of his breathing, the faint scent of ginger and him all mixed together, and your eyes slipped shut completely.
Jake went completely still.
He set the spoon down without a sound and lowered himself back onto the table until he was lying flat, turning his head so he could look at you properly. You were right thereâhead pillowed on your arms on the edge of the table, breathing slow and even, lashes dark against your skin, lips slightly parted. A strand of hair had fallen across your face. He reached out without thinking, fingertips barely grazing it before he caught himself and pulled back.
Would it make any sense for Jake to feel this unexpected emotion he still couldnât quite pinpoint? Maybe his friends were right, he didnât really need to follow through with whatever the bet was about. It really wasnât worth hurting you, or himselfâbut then, did you even think of him as someone close to you? Perhaps as a friend at least?Â
He let out a slow, shaky breath, and resorted to watching youâthe way your shoulder rose and fell, the way your fingers formed a cute fist, how you let your guard down enough for your body to trust itself to fall asleep right next to him. Perhaps it was something small, yet to him, it was grand.Â
So, he just lay there, inches away from you, letting the silence settle as his mind spun in circles he couldnât stop.
CHAPTER SEVEN: Holy stalker
âSo, you spent hours sleeping with him?âÂ
âYouâre literally wording it wrong Jungwon.â
âAnd you almost kissed right outside the dormââ
âCan you guys stop?â You groaned, but Karina was far from done, she was just getting started actually.
ââyou canât fucking lie to us, like genuinely you were smiling when you came in yesterday and today. Whatâs next? Fucking him at a party?â
âOh godânothing is happening, what is wrong with you both?â You stand up from the couch, turning to stare at both your friends, who sat rather comfortably with their arms crossed.
âThis is not nothing, Iâm just asking you, whatâs the end point? Where would you draw the line, hm? If it requires physicality for him to actually fall in love with you, would you do it?â
Well, Karina did have a point.Â
âWeâre grown adults with active sex life so, why would that change anything?â You finish, almost defensive.Â
Karinaâs eyebrows shot up so fast it was almost comical. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, that wicked grin spreading slow across her face, âoh my god, listen to you. Active sex life, babe, you havenât had dick in months and now youâre out here acting like itâs no big deal if Jake Sim rails you for the sake of the bet? Be so fucking for real right now.â
Jungwon nearly spit out his coffee, âRinaââ
âNo, no, let me speak,â Karina cut him off, waving a hand without breaking eye contact with you, âIâm not judging, Iâm just sayingâif heâs already got you smiling like an idiot and almost-kissing you against a wall in the rain, whatâs stopping you from seeing how far it goes? You gonna let him fuck you on the kitchen counter just to watch his ego implode when you ghost him after? Because honestly? Iâd pay to see that. But donât lie to yourself and say itâs all strategy when youâre feeling that way for him.â
You felt your face burn hot, âItâs not like that. Iâm notâgod, Iâm not planning on sleeping with him, okay? Iâm still in control.â
Karina barked out a laugh, âlook, I love you, but if youâre gonna play this game, at least own it, and youâre allowed to enjoy the ride before you drop him and collect our Paris trip. Just donât catch feelings and cry to us when the car means more to him than you do.â
Jungwon rubbed the back of his neck, looking equal parts amused and concerned, âsheâs got a point, even if sheâs saying it like a psycho. Just be careful, I still donât trust him around you, but youâre always welcome to cry to us.â
You threw a pillow at Karinaâs head. It bounced off her shoulder and she just cackled harder, âyou two are the worst. Go to class before I actually kick you out.â
They finally dragged themselves upâJungwon pulling you into a quick, tight hug and muttering, âtext me if it gets weird,â before heading out, Karina pausing in the doorway to shoot you one last teasing smirk, âIf you do end up letting him hit, at least make him beg first. Love you, bitch.â The door clicked shut behind them, leaving the dorm suddenly, blissfully quiet.
You let out a long breath and flopped back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. Your lab had been cancelled last minuteâthe TA had blown up the group chat at 8:47 with some excuse about electrophoresis set up not workingâand now the whole morning stretched out empty in front of you.Â
Too much time to think about yesterday, or the day before that, orâ
Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, thankfully breaking the train of your thoughts. You grabbed it lazily, expecting another spam message from the group chat. Instead it was an Instagram DM.
jake.sim:
hey
didnât have your number so i figured iâd slide in here like a normal person instead of showing up at your door like a creepÂ
Your lip twitched, just a smidge, because of course Jake would find your instagram and text out of nowhere.Â
you:
hi
and you still managed to sound like a creep anyway
The three dots popped up instantly, like heâd been waiting with his phone in his hand.
jake.sim:
fair actuallyÂ
listen, random question
is your oven working? mineâs been dead for two days and iâm craving something sweet
You stared at the screen, thumb hovering. Of course he had friends with working ovens. Half the football house probably had better kitchens than you did. But he was asking you, specifically.
you:
yeah it works
why
jake.sim:
can i come bake a cake at your place?
iâll bring everything
just wanna spend time with you, if thatâs cool
Your stomach did a stupid little flip, and you groaned. What have you even come to?
you:
sure
doorâs unlocked if youâre fast enough
Twenty minutes later there was a soft knock. You opened it to find Jake standing there in his black hoodie and grey sweats, hair still a little damp from a shower, maybe. Arms full of grocery bags, and he looked unfairly good, but when he shifted the bags higher on his arm you caught the tiniest wince in his leg. He hid it fast with that easy grin.
âHey,â he breathed out, staring at just how comfortable you looked in shorts, âthanks for letting me invade, i come bearing burgers to show my gratitude.â
You leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, trying to ignore the way his eyes dragged down your bare legs for half a second before snapping back up, âdidnât you say you wanted a cake?â You raised your eyebrow.Â
His grin turned a little sheepish, âcakeâs the whole point, yes. Burgers are justâextra, i saw you eating this with Jungwon two days back soââ
âSo you are a stalkerââ
âJust observant,â he finished quickly, stepping inside as you moved out of the way. The door clicked shut behind him and he realized that your flatmates were not home, leaving the place to you and him, ânot in a creepy way though.â
You just nodded, as if humouring him, eyes fixed on his handsâwhich were veiny as hell somehowâunpacking the stuff including flour, sugar, eggs, and well, every ingredient needed for a good cake, before giving you a burger (he got two extras, just in case).
Hopping on the edge of the counter, you unwrapped the burger as he took all the bowls out with you pointing around the cabinets. The room itself was silent but his eyes? Pretty shameless, youâd admit, because his focus was more on your ridden shorts than the flour.
Jake caught himself after a second, lips twitching like he knew exactly what he was doing, âyou really gonna sit there and not help me?â
You took a bite of the burger, chewing slowly while holding his gaze, âyouâre the one who begged to come over and use my oven. Eyes on the bowl, Jake.â
He laughed under his breath, and went back to the flour, but the glance he stole at your legs was anything but subtle, âeasier said than done when youâre sitting right there looking like that,â he mumbled to himself as he started scooping ingredients, movements smooth despite the way he kept most of his weight on his left leg, âpass me the sugar?â
You did so without getting down. He reached past you anyway, arm brushing the side of your thigh, and didnât pull back right away. When you finally slid off the counter to actually help, he didnât give you much space, he handed you the whisk and stepped right behind you, chest brushing your back as he reached around to adjust your grip on the handle.
âEasy circles,â he murmured, voice dropping close to your ear, âyou can be gentle with it, yâknow?â
Be gentle with meâis what he wished to say, but heâd be lying if he didnât admit how much he enjoyed your grumpiness as well, and he was almost eager to find what more you had to offer.Â
His hand stayed over yours, so warm and steady, the other settled lightly on your waist, thumb slipping under the hem of your tank top to brush bare skin. You could feel every small shift of his body against yours, the clean scent of his hoodie mixing with the butter and vanilla already in the air.
âYouâre crowding me,â you said, dry but not moving away.
âAm I?â His thumb traced one slow line along your hip, âdidnât hear you telling me to back up.â
You elbowed him lightly, feeling lightheaded, because it was odd how he actually achieved to bring out your playful side in what? Fourteen days since his bet started. But it wasnât as bad as you thought it would be, âfocus on the cake, not my legs.â
He leaned in, âtrying and failing pretty badly.â His thumb traced one slow circle on your hip, right where your tank top had ridden up, and your pulse jumped harder. The touch was light, but it felt deliberate, like he was testing how long youâd let him stay this close.
The banter stayed easy after that, but every word feltâcrazy. He teased you about not knowing how to bake (you actually didnât). You told him he was being annoyingly precise for a guy who claimed he just wanted to hang out. Finally the batter came together, perfectly thick, smooth, and chocolatey. You scraped it into the pan heâd already greased, and Jake slid it into the oven without a word. He set the timer, then turned to you, leaning against the counter with that crooked grin.
âTwenty-five minutes,â he said, eyes flicking over you again, âthink we can behave ourselves till then?â
You raised an eyebrow, still catching your breath from how close heâd been, âyouâre the one who canât keep his hands to himself.â
Before he could answer, you flicked a leftover pinch of cocoa at his cheekâlight, almost absentminded, but enough to leave a small dark smudge, shocking yourself at the easiness of it all.Â
Jake blinked, then his grin turned wild, âoh, itâs like that?â
He scooped a small handful of leftover flour from the counter and flicked it right back at you. It exploded in a soft white cloud across your tank top and collarbone. You gasped, eyes widening, and retaliated instantlyâgrabbing more flour and tossing it at his chest. Another puff burst between you, dusting the front of his black hoodie and catching in his hair.
âSeriously?â He laughed, already scooping more, âyou started it, babe.â
You tried to duck behind the island, but the kitchen was tiny and he was faster, even with the slight limp. He caught you around the waist mid-step, pulling you back as he flung another handful. Flour went everywhereâexploding in soft bursts across your arms, your hair, the counter. You twisted in his hold, laughing despite yourself, and managed to smear a streak of cocoa down his cheek before he spun you again.
He couldnât explain it, but having you laugh so freely in his presenceâhim making you laugh, yeah, it felt pretty damn good, and this smile was way better than you had given Jungwon in the earlier days of Jake chasing youânot that he was comparing (he was).
Your back hit the edge of the counter, both of you breathing harder now, covered in white powder and cocoa streaks. His hands stayed locked on your waist, thumbs pressing in, meanwhile yours ended up fisted in the front of his hoodie, pulling without thinking. Flour clung to his lashes, dusted his hair, streaked across his jaw. Your heart was hammering, butterflies rioting in your stomach, every inch of you hyper-aware of how close he was, how warm his body felt through the thin layers between you.
âFuck,â he breathed, eyes dropping straight to your mouth, âyouâve got flour on your lip.â
âSo do you,â you whispered.
Jake didnât wipe it away. He leaned in slow, giving you every chance to stop him. Your breath caught again, but you closed the last inch anyway.
His lips were just as soft as they appeared to be, but more hungry than you could fathom, or manage. It felt consuming, the way his mouth moved against yours with this urgency but also a silent battle of him holding back. A low sound rumbled in his chest when your lips parted, granting his tongue the excess it so desperately craved.Â
It slid in slow, tasting faintly of the bitter cocoa and flour, your heart slammed against your ribs so hard you were sure he could feel it. Butterflies erupted low in your stomach, fluttering all around hard enough, it made your thighs press instinctively around his hips.Â
Bet. Bet. Bet. Â
The words flashed sharp in the back of your mind, but it dissolved rather quickly when Jakeâs hand slid higher under your tank top, palm hot and rough against the bare skin of your back, fingers spreading wide as if he was trying to cover the expanse of your skin. His other hand stayed locked at your waist, thumb digging in just enough to anchor you against him while he kissed you deeperâslower, learning the shape of your mouth.Â
Everything else was forgotten for both him and you. All that existed was the warmth of his body pressed flush to yours, the faint scratch of his hoodie against your arms, the way his breath hitched when you tugged harder at the front of it.
âYeahâfuck, like that,â he murmured against your lips, âkiss me back harder, câmon, pretty.â
And so you did, tongue sliding against his in a messy push-pull that made his breath hitch, âyou came over here to bake a cake,â you managed between kisses, sarcastic even as your hips rolled forward to meet his, ânot to end up grinding on me in my kitchen.â
Jake laughed low against your mouth, the sound wrecked, and pressed his hips forward harder, letting you feel exactly how hard he was getting through his sweats, âpretty sure you started the flour fight, sweetheart. Donât act like you werenât waiting for this.â He kissed you deeper, tongue stroking yours in a filthy rhythm while he ground against you slow and deliberate, the friction pulling a sharp breath from you, âthere, yeah. Feel that? Thatâs what you do to me every time you look at me like that, so fucking pretty.â
âShut up,â you shot back, nipping his bottom lip hard enough to make him groan, then soothing it with your tongue. You rocked your hips right back into his, matching his pace, âyou talk too much.â
He grinned against your mouth, that cocky little curve you could feel more than see, and rolled his hips again, slower this time, dragging right where it made your breath catch, âand you fucking love it.â His hand tightened on your waist, holding you steady as he kept that steady, grinding rhythm, âbut keep doing that with your hipsâyeah, baby, just like thatâfuck.â
The oven timer went off, making you realize exactly how much time youâd devoted to this unholy activity.
You both froze, foreheads pressed together, chests heaving. His lips were swollen, eyes dark and glassy, breath hot against your mouth. Jake let out a rough, breathless chuckle, still holding you close, thumb stroking slow circles on your waist like he couldnât stop touching you, âcakeâs done.â
You dropped your head to his shoulder, a quiet laugh escaping you too, âthis is insane.â
âYeah,â he agreed, lips brushing your temple before he kissed the corner of your mouth once, lingering for a few seconds, then helped you slide down off the counter, hands steady on your hips the whole way, like he wasnât quite ready to let the moment slip away.
It felt tooâintimate, not that the act of making out wasnât on par, it clearly was, but this? It carried more emotion than just your everyday lust.Â
While the cake cooled on the rack, he prepared the frosting, letting everything take place before he reached into one of the bags and pulled out a small box of candles, trying to focus on regulating his breathing, and you started with your eyebrows lifted.
âCandles? For a random cake?â
He shrugged, cheeks going a little pink under the flour, âItâs for you, actually. Kinda a thank you? You sat with me after the practice when my leg was fucked, nobody else wouldâve stuck around like that. Figured I owed you something sweet.â
You stared at him for a second, because this felt too genuine again, âJake, thatâsââ
âCrazy?â He laughed softly, lighting the candles anyway. They flickered golden in the morning light, âyeah, maybe. But you make me want to do crazy shit.â
You shook your head, the word âdorkâ slipping out quiet and fond before you could stop it. He just grinned, making you blow the candles, and yet again, you indulged in his theatrics before he managed to cut two big slices, sliding one over to you.
The cake was actually perfect, and it was clear that there wasnât anything Jake Sim couldnât do, maybe he couldnât make you fall for him, but even you werenât too sure, granted that youâd been smiling, and it wasnât fake by any means. You took a bite and hummed in surprise, Jake watched you the whole time with a satisfied look on his face.
Then he scooped a bit of frosting onto his finger and held it out, eyes locked on yours, âhereâtry it this way.â
You leaned in and took it off his finger with your lips, slow. His breath hitched hard, and when you pulled back, he brought the same finger to his own mouth and licked the rest off, shameless and unhurried, tongue dragging over the pad like he was tasting you instead of frosting.
âFuck,â he murmured, stepping close again, hands finding your waist like they belonged there, âyouâre gonna kill me, YN.â
If domesticity with you felt like this, then Jake swears he can give up his parties just to spend an extra minute holding you close to his heartâwhich never lied. Jake was never dumb, not even now. He had always been quick to acknowledge his feelings, which screamed at him that nothing else mattered in this moment, just him and you. When you started to look in his eyes again, you gulped.
Because all that existed was him looking at you like this was exactly where he wanted to be.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Redbull gives you wingsÂ
âThe fuck?âÂ
Jay frowned, staring at his best friend.Â
The sight was diabolical to say the least, the smile on Jakeâs face despite it allâidiotic. There was no way to describe it, at least for Jay, who couldnât fathom what absurd war Jake had gotten into to return back home with flour on his hair and body, and wait was that a Tupperware full of chocolate cake in his hands?
Jake didnât bother with explanations, simply dropping the box on Jayâs lap, courtesy of you packing some up saying how heâd managed to make way too much for a single person.Â
With how loud Jayâs voice had been, Sunghoon and Heeseung managed out come out of their rooms, equally as confused.
âExplain,â Sunghoon muttered, sitting next to Jay and grabbing a piece of cake.
âNothing really, i just went to bake a cake with Y/N,â he managed to let out, still dazed.Â
âAnd she decided to maul you with flour?â Heeseung winced, brushing some power off of Jakeâs hair, âseems like you lost the fight.â
âCâmon, she started it, so of course I didnât stop at thatâand things, uhm, escalated.â
Right then, Hoon took a big bite of the sweet, regret clear on his face, nose wrinkling, âwhat the fuck, dudeâthereâs a whole patch of raw flour in the middle.â
Well, that batch was put in after the flour fight, which would explain the quality difference.Â
Heeseung, who had already taken a forkful, shrugged and kept eating happily, âtastes fine to me. A bit lumpy, but the chocolate fixes it.â
Jay refused to touch it, not being polite in the way he pushed the whole container towards Heeseung, âyeah, Iâm not eating that. And why do you look like you just got laid?â
Jake rubbed a hand over his jaw, the corners of his mouth still curved up, âwe may have gotten a little distracted after the cake went in the oven.â
Heeseung choked, âdistracted, how?â
Jake shrugged, not even trying to hide how pleased he was, âby kissingâa lot, oh god it felt good.âÂ
Jay dragged both hands down his face, âyou went over there to make her fall for you and ended up making out with her in the kitchen? Jake, what the hell is going on with you? Youâve barely looked at any other girl in weeks.â
Jake didnât answer right away. He just picked up a piece of the slightly floury cake and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully even though it really wasnât that great.
âIâm thankful though, I can finally sleep without having to hear moans each fucking night,â Heeseung shudders, mind drifting back to how loud Jake and his night partners used to be.Â
Sunghoon barked out a laugh, âyeah, we went from daily noise complaints to peaceful silence. Did you catch feelings or did she put her tear drop into the cake batter?â
âShut up, itâs not like that,â Jake mumbled, though the tips of his ears turning red said otherwise, âand weâre not in Descendants.â
They all just stared at him, till he managed to huff, sitting down on the couch which offered no space to him, dirtying it in the process, âitâs justâitâs nice, okay? I donât have to be loud or use up all my energy around her, it feels calm to be there even in silence.â
Jay almost gagged, âcalm? Did you just change your whole personality cause youâre in love now?â
Sunghoon was grinning, ânext thing you know heâll be holding her hand on campus and calling her baby in public, and trust, Iâll be documenting every bit of it.â
Jake threw a small piece of cake at him, missing on purpose, âyou guys are annoying as hell. Can we talk about something else?â
The boys kept teasing him for a few more minutesâthrowing in dramatic predictions about Jake turning into a full boyfriend and suggestions to get him a Iâm in my soft era shirt before finally letting it go and arguing about tomorrowâs practice instead. Jake just leaned back on the couch, half-listening, the small smile never quite leaving his face.
Because he knew things had changed, and so did you. It was a gradual shift, from you tolerating Jakeâs presence to enjoying it (well, some part of you did at least). The idea of seeing him often didnât make you groan in agony, it felt like a routine granted Jake had your schedule memorized to his bones, and he made it his mission to randomly appear and fall in step with you without making it awkward.Â
âHey, got you some coffee,â heâd naturally say, always bringing the latte, but he did make you try out an overly sweet drink which he fancied, and somehow, you didnât hate it.Â
It was concerning to say the least, your friends being more concerned than you, but of course no one was blind to the fact that maybe Jake was more deep in this than you were, and that bit was not an act, not anymore at least.Â
It only escalated when one afternoon, you showed up at his practice session without him having you ask, a cold can of coconut berry red bull tucked in your bag. When you tossed it his way, his whole face lit up and he stared at you with such warmth, it seemed like his eyes were shining. It wasnât a big deal, right?Â
Wrong. Jake knew it didnât take a lot to do something for others, but youâd noticed his favourite flavourâyouâd managed to remember it despite him having not mentioned it.Â
He was glad it was break time, cause he immediately cracked it open, âyou remembered?â
You wanted to slap yourself for how hard it was to not smile at him, so you managed a shrug, âyeah, not a big deal.â
He stepped closer, still in his practice jersey, hair slightly damp from running drills, and you noticed how theyâd grown longer, the afternoon sun catching on the sharp line of his collarbone. For a second he just looked at you, âitâs a big deal when you do it.â
The way he said it was enough to send a warm flutter through your chest that you quickly tried to ignore. You crossed your arms, pretending to watch the team stretching behind him, âdonât make it weird, Sim.â
âIâm not,â he replied, but the small grin tugging at his lips said otherwise. He took another sip, eyes never really leaving your face, and he swore, it was the best drink heâd ever had.
It almost felt like you were flying in the moment, as cheesy as it might be, maybe youâd blame redbull for giving you wings or whatever.Â
There were other small things too. He started saving you the quiet corner seat in the library because he knew you liked your back to the wall. Youâd gotten him a hair tie when you noticed the length of his hair again, and the second he tied his hair, even you were rendered speechless for a moment.Â
The way it exposed the clean line of his jaw and the sharp cut of his cheekbones made something in your stomach tighten unexpectedly. You quickly looked back down at your notes, pretending you hadnât noticed, oh but he noticed, and leaned in till his nose brushed against yours, âhow do i look?â heâd asked.
âGood,â you remember breathing out, making him smile and lean in further, pressing a soft kiss on your lips before jogging back to the field, where three of his friends stood with their mouths hung open. It was a rather comical sight for anyone who watched from a distance.Â
At least to Jaemin, it was. He was always lurking around, and no one knew what he was trying to achieve. Jeno could only shake his head standing beside him, but well.Â
Anyway, as if that wasnât enough, Jake would send you random memes at 2 a.m. when he knew you were still up studying, and youâd reply with a dry âgo to sleepâ that always made him smile at his phone like an idiot.Â
Jake had truly forgotten about the bet.
The whole stupid game barely crossed his mind anymore. He wasnât playing anymore. He just wanted to be around you.
You were trying to bury the memory of the bet deep inside too. Every time it tried to creep up, you shoved it back down. You told yourself you were still in control, that this was all part of the plan. But the truth was simpler and scarierâyou liked having him around. You liked the easy quiet when you studied together. You liked the way he looked at you when he thought you werenât paying attention.Â
And that terrified you more than anything.
CHAPTER NINE: Jealousy allegations?
âAre you like a hundred percent sure?â
You sighed, plopping on your bed with ease as you stared at Karina, whoâd asked you this question at least, give or take, a million times.Â
âYes, I am sureâgosh, you gotta stop,â you mumbled, running a hand over your skirt, while Karina shook her head.Â
âTrust me I have a feeling that something will happen tonight,â she exasperated for the nth time.Â
Jake was finally throwing that party heâd mentioned after his game a few days back, and to Heeseung courtesy, it wasnât a small gathering anymore, but a full blown party at their dormitory which wonât even fit the amount of people heâd invited.Â
âWhat would happen? Câmon, Iâm really okay,â you tried to reason.Â
âOkay? Girl, youâre practically beaming, and you got ready before I did, is that not proof enough?â She went on, doing her eyeliner by side, âyou look hot as hell in that skirt by the way, Iâll be praying for Jake.â
You rolled your eyes but couldnât fight the small smile tugging at your lips. The black skirt sat high on your waist, paired with a simple fitted top that showed just enough skin, and most importantlyâyou felt confident about yourself, which just completed the look altogether.Â
âWhatever. Letâs just go before I change my mind.â
Jungwon was already ready and waiting outside, and so you three went on as they both kept mumbling warnings in your ear, as if a child going outside alone for the first time.Â
âSeriously, if he gets weird just text me,â Jungwon said, half-joking.
Karina bumped your shoulder. âOr Iâll drag you out myself. Iâm still not convinced this is a good idea.â
You just shook your head and kept walking.
The dorm was loud when you stepped inside, music playing from the living room and voices overlapping in every corner. The place smelled like pizza and cheap beer (of course), the usual Saturday night mess. People were everywhereâsome chilling on the couches, others crowding the kitchen for drinks.
You hadnât even taken three steps before Jake spotted you.
He was mid-conversation with Jay near the counter, cup halfway to his mouth, when he froze. His eyes locked on you and stayed there, dragging slowly from your face down to the skirt and back up again. For a second he looked completely thrown, like someone (you) had knocked the air out of him. Then he was moving, crossing the room in a straight line without saying a word to anyone, and Jay only shook his head with a small smile.Â
The second he reached you he pulled you into a hug.
His arms wrapped around you tight, one hand splaying across your lower back, the other sliding up to cradle the back of your head. He buried his face in your hair for a long moment, breathing you in like he needed it. You felt his chest rise and fall against yours, warm and solid, completely forgetting your friends who tried to process the situation from a respectful distance.Â
âFuck,â he muttered into your hair, voice low and rough, âyou lookâI donât even know what to say right now.â
You laughed softly against his shoulder, letting yourself relax into the hug, âhi, Jake.â
He didnât let go right away. His thumb rubbed a slow circle on your back, almost absentminded, and when he finally pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes were darker than usual, a little dazed, âyouâre actually trying to kill me tonight, huh?â
You raised an eyebrow, fighting a smile, âItâs just a skirt.â
âItâs not just a skirt,â he said, voice quieter. His hand stayed on your waist, thumb brushing the edge of the fabric like he couldnât help it.
You were about to tease him some more when he finally loosened his hold, stepping half a step back so he could actually look at you properly. His eyes flicked down again, then back up, and he let out a small breath like he was trying to collect himself.
That was when Sunoo wandered over from the kitchen, two cups in hand, spotting you both.
âHey, Y/N,â Sunoo said, voice bright and easy like it always was in lab, âyou actually came. I was starting to think youâd bail after that nightmare protocol we had last night.â
You turned toward him with a small laugh, âyeah, I almost did, Karina basically dragged me here,â you lied easily.Â
Sunoo grinned, holding out one of the cups, âhere, sprite with lime. I know you hate the sweet crap they make in the kitchen.â
Jake raised his brow, almost ready to scoff because you did like sweet drinks, and whoever this man was clearly didnât know you enough.Â
âThanks,â you said, taking it, âneeded that, the last lab almost killed me too.â
âTell me about it,â Sunoo replied, leaning casually against the wall, âI spent twenty minutes trying to fix my gel after it kept tearing. Thought the TA was gonna cry with me.â He glanced at your outfit and nodded appreciatively. âBy the way, that skirt looks really good on you. Way better than the lab coat.â
You let out a soft laugh, âappreciate it. Lab coat does no one any favors.â
Sunoo chuckled, âright? Anyway, howâs your presentation prep going? You were stressing about the lack of research papers ast classââ
From the corner of your eye, you saw Jakeâs hand tighten slightly on your waist. He hadnât moved away completely, still standing close enough that his shoulder brushed yours.
Across the room, Karina caught your eye from where she was standing with Jungwon near the couch. She raised her brows in a clear what the hell look, while Jungwon just shook his head slowly, arms crossed like he was already bracing himself. Jay, leaning against the kitchen counter with Heeseung and Sunghoon, muttered something that made all three of them glance over. Heeseung smirked, while Sunghoon shook his head again, amused. Jaemin, kicked back on the armchair nursing a drink, was outright grinning like heâd hit the jackpot.
Sunoo kept talking, completely unaware, asking a casual question about the upcoming quiz. You answered easily, laughing at the right moments because talking to Sunoo was justâsimple? He was the same bubbly guy from lab who always offered to share notes honestly.Â
Jakeâs jaw ticked though, he wasnât happy with this situation at all.
After another minute of the easy back-and-forth, Jakeâs hand slid firmly from your waist to your lower back.
âHey,â he said to Sunoo, voice calm but edged, âmind if I steal her for a second?â
Sunoo blinked, then gave an easy, unbothered smile, âyeah, of course. Nice catching up, Y/N.â
Jake didnât bother waiting really. His hand stayed steady on your lower back as he guided you through the living room, weaving between people chatting and laughing. You could feel the tension in his fingers, the way they pressed a little harder than necessary against the fabric of your top. He didnât say a word the whole way down the hallway. The party noise faded behind you, turning into a muffled hum.
The second his bedroom door clicked shut, Jake turned to face you, eyes dark, stepping in close, backing you up until your shoulders hit the door. His hand came up, fingers brushing your jaw, tilting your head just slightly to the side.
âIgnoring me the second he came in to talk, hm?â He asked, voice low as his breath ghosted over your neck as he leaned in, lips barely brushing the skin just below your ear, âlooking this good while doing so?â
You swallowed, âJake, he was justââ
He cut you off by pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss right under your jaw. You felt his teeth graze lightly, then the warm drag of his tongue.
âAnswer me,â he murmured against your skin, voice smug, âwhat was so funny?â
Your breath hitched, âItâit wasnât anything, just talking about the labââ
He simply granted you another kiss, slower this time, right by your pulse. His hand slid down to grip your waist, holding you in place as he sucked lightly on the same spot.
âYou stuttered,â he said, the words warm against your neck, you could hear the smirk in his voice, âso fucking cute.â
You let out a shaky laugh, even as heat pooled low in your stomach, âyouâre actually jealous right now, arenât you?â
Jake pulled back just enough to look at you, not waiting as he leaned in and kissed you on the mouthâsoft at first, almost sweet, like he was trying to shut you up gently. It didnât last, the kiss deepening fast, his tongue sliding against yours until you were gripping his shirt tighter.
When he broke it, he was breathing harder, âyeah, I am. I donât like watching you smile at someone else when Iâm standing right there.â
You opened your mouth to tease him again, but he kissed you once more, firm, before you could get the words out.
âSee?â He muttered against your lips, smirking, âtry and be bratty if you want me to kiss you stupid.â
âJakeââ you started, voice already breathy.
He cut you off with another kiss, this one deeper, his hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck. When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours for a second.
âKeep going,â he chuckled, âtell me how ridiculous Iâm being.â
You tried, you did, âyouâre being ridiculous. Sunoo was justââ
Jakeâs mouth was on your neck again, sucking a slow, wet mark right below your ear. You gasped, fingernails digging in his skin now.Â
âWrong name coming out of your pretty lips, baby, try again,â he murmured, kissing the fresh mark.
âYouâre fucking jealous,â you managed to say despite his previous confirmation of the same. Maybe you wanted to hear it again, maybe you wanted to feel the conviction of truth behind those words, the reality of it all.Â
He kissed your lips hard, swallowing the rest of your sentence, then moved back down to your neck, sucking another mark lower this time.
âYeah,â he admitted yet again against your skin, âI hate itâhate how easy it was for him to make you laugh like that when it took me days.â
Your head tipped back against the door with a soft thud. He kept goingâkissing, sucking, marking you up like he needed to claim every inch Sunoo had made you smile at. Every bratty little comment you tried to throw at him earned you another kiss on the mouth or a deeper suck on your neck until your legs were actually trembling.
Finally Jake straightened up, eyes hungry. Without a word he bent down, hooked his arms under your thighs, and lifted you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you the few steps to his bed and laid you down.
To have you so close to him was a maddening experience, words leaving his lips with ease, âyouâre beautiful, you know that?âÂ
Somewhere between the bet and the reality, you started getting used to his blatant sincerity he put into words. But this praise? It made you sigh blissfully, eyelids fluttering close despite not wanting to be separated from the sight of Jake getting closer to where you needed him the most.Â
He crawled over you, settling between your legs, and kissed you againâslow and deep this time.
âStill think Iâm ridiculous?â He asked against your mouth, hand sliding up your thigh, pushing your skirt higher.
You nodded, breathless, âvery.â
Jake grinned, that same smug, jealous little smile, and kissed you once more before moving lower. He took his time with your neck again, sucking fresh marks while his hands worked your skirt up around your hips. When he reached the lace edge of your panties he paused, thumb brushing over the delicate fabric.
âThese are pretty,â he murmured, hooking his fingers in them and slowly dragging them down your legs, tossing them aside somewhere, taking a note to pick it up later.Â
Then he settled between your thighs properly, spreading them wider. He looked up at you, hair falling messily around his face from the small ponytail, eyes gleaming as he mumbled the praises of your beauty as if he was here to worship your being instead of what seemed to be a punishment for making him jealous.Â
âStill got something smart to say?â He asked.
You opened your mouth, but the second his tongue dragged over you, slow and so perfectly warmâthe words turned into a broken moan.
Jake groaned at the taste of you, the sound vibrating right against your clit. You reached down without thinking, fingers finding the hair tie at the back of his head. You pulled it out, letting his dark hair fall loose, then slid your hand into it and tugged hard.
Jake moaned louder against you, the vibration making your hips jerk.
âFuckâdo that again,â he breathed, voice wrecked.Â
You did, tugging on his hair as he ate you out like he had all the time in the worldâlong, deep licks followed by quick flicks of his tongue that had your thighs shaking around his shoulders. Every pull on his hair earned you another low groan that went straight through you.Â
âCâmon, tell me how it feels,â he spoke against you, and you groaned merrily.Â
Itâs not that you didnât have any experience before, because you did. But never once a guy made you feel like they actually cared about getting you off rather than them chasing their own pleasure. Their flick of tongues did nothing, but Jake? He seemed like even having his whole face pressed against you wasnât enough, as if nothing could satiate how desperate he was to have not a molecule of space between you two.Â
A lot of things were in your mind, but you could only manage to choke out a few words, âso goodâbaby, it feels so good.â
If Jake hadnât already lost his damn mind, your nickname certainly made him lose the last few of his working brain cells. The moan he let out was downright pornographic, and you could swear there wasnât a sound prettier than that.Â
You were completely gone, back arching off the bed, fingers tight in his hair, lost in the wet heat of his mouth and the smug little sounds he kept making against you.Â
While you were wrapped up in this little bubble of unadulterated pleasure, outside the things were a bit different as Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon stood together, shaking their heads.Â
âHe really just dragged her straight to his room,â Jay muttered.
Heeseung sighed, ânot even trying to be subtle anymore.â
Sunghoon smirked, âa hundred fucking pounds says they donât come out for a while.â
Karina, standing with Jungwon near the couch, crossed her arms and muttered, âI knew something was gonna happen tonight.â
Jungwon just sighed, looking resigned, âthis is exactly what I was worried about.â
Jaemin, on the other hand, was leaning back in his chair with the biggest grin on his face, looking far too pleased with himself.
âThis is even better than I planned.â
CHAPTER TEN: Bet versus feelings.Â
âAre you out of your damn mind?â
The voice seemed to have echoed, because the same sentence was being uttered at the exact same second inside two different dorms, by two different people.Â
First being Jungwon, clearly directed towards you once you were done giving your side of the story to him.Â
Jake was undergoing the exact same procedure of questioning, causing Jay to scream in agony.Â
Things were clearly going perfectly, Jake was in too deep, you were in too deep, all for the bet, right? Right?Â
Because as far as acting was concerned, even it had limits, which certainly didnât include getting eaten out and fingered all night. Cherry on the top was when you both fell asleep in each otherâs arms with Jake caressing your back so gently, you learned the meaning of comfort in its truest scene.Â
So, why did it feel so easy when Jake kissed you in the morning, when he walked you back home with ease, talking normally as if everything was fine. Your heart broke a little at the thought of him just using you, and trust was a delicate topic for you. How could you even let yourself think that he actually wanted you when the whole relationship of yours was built on a pathetic bet. Which is why, you let yourself fall in deeper, to feel more of his warmth before it ends. Â
Before he could ask what was bothering you, a gentle kiss was placed on his lips, âbye, Jakey.âÂ
The simple fact that you initiated the kiss had Jake smiling like an idiot before you walked inside your dorm, and he left for his own, heart thumping fast, almost in a way that it was synchronized.Â
And now you were here, eyes watering in front of your friends who could only pull you in a deep hug.Â
âY/N, just tell him, just end this I swear,â Jungwon mumbled, and you didnât know what to say, so you resorted to hugging them both till you fell asleep again.Â
Jake on the other handâhe couldnât stop pacing around as the three watched him like a hawk, eyes moving in sync with every step he took across the living room.
Jay leaned back on the couch, arms crossed, looking way too smug, âI told you youâd fall for her.â
Jake stopped dead in his tracks, spinning around so fast he nearly tripped, âI didnât fall. Iâm notâfuck, okay maybe I did, but shut up.â
Sunghoon let out a loud laugh, slapping his knees âyou dragged her into your room in front of everyone. Youâre on your knees for her at this point.â
Heeseung was already cracking up, head thrown back, âthe way you looked at Sunoo? Pure murder like, he didnât even do shit.â
Jake groaned, running his fingers through his hair, âyou guys are the worst. I was standing right there and she was laughing with him like it was the easiest thing in the world. I hate it.â
Jay raised an eyebrow, âyou hate it? Or youâre jealous as hell?â
âBoth,â Jake muttered, then dramatically dropped to his knees right in the middle of the living room, forehead hitting the floor with a thud, âIâm so fucked. What the hell is wrong with me?â
Jay let out a loud laugh, leaning forward on the couch, âwrong? Itâs literally called love, Jake.â
âOn your knees in the living room because a girl, youâre not yours by the way, smiled at someone else? Yeah, youâre fucked.â Sunghoon added helpfully.Â
Heeseung clapped slowly, âsoft boy Jake is real. Weâre witnessing history.â
Jake stayed on the floor for a second, breathing hard, face pressed against the carpet. His mind wouldnât stop replaying last nightâthe way youâd gasped his name when he had his mouth on you, the way your thighs had shaken around his shoulders. How he couldnât stop staring at you even after you came down, all soft and sleepy in his bed, lashes resting against your cheeks, lips slightly parted. You looked so beautiful like that, relaxed and trusting, nothing guarded in your expression for once. Heâd kissed your forehead then, slow and careful, while you dozed off against his chest. Later, when he still couldnât sleep, heâd grabbed his diary and sketched youâjust the curve of your cheek, the way your hair fell across the pillow, the small peaceful smile you had even in sleep. It wasnât weird. It was justâyou. He needed to remember exactly how it felt.
He groaned again, louder this time, âIâm so fucked.â
âSo youâve said.â
The boys kept teasing, but Jake was already thinking ahead.
He pushed himself up, hair a mess, cheeks still flushed, âwhatever. Laugh all you want, Iâm gonna ask her on a proper date.â
The room went quiet for half a second, observing him closely to find out any signs of humour or a joke.Â
Jay blinked, âyouâre serious?â
âYeah,â Jake said, grabbing his glasses, âIâm serious.â
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, still amused but skeptical, âyou sure thatâs a good idea right now? Things are already messy as hell.â
Heeseung nodded slowly, âmoving kinda fast, donât you think?â
Jake just shrugged, the stupid smile creeping back onto his face, âI donât care, I want to do it right.â
The problem now was that Jake had never planned a date before, heck heâd never even dated before. He knew that something grand wouldnât work, not right now at least, so when he woke up the next day, he had a few errands to run. Thankfully, he had only one lecture, after which he found himself running around the campus with a list, more motivated thann heâd ever been.Â
By late afternoon he found himself standing outside the biotech building, leaning against the wall near the main exit with his hands in his pockets. He knew your schedule by heart now. When you finally stepped out, backpack slung over one shoulder, he pushed off the wall and walked straight up to you.
You stopped, surprised, but the second he pulled you into a hug your expression softened. His arms wrapped around you tight, one hand rubbing your back like he needed the contact more than air, âhey,â he mumbled into your hair.
You smiled despite everything, pressing your face into his chest for a second, âJake? What are you doing here? Donât you have practice right now?â
He pulled back just enough to look at you, hands still on your waist, âI skipped.â
âYou skipped?â you asked, eyes widening a little.
âYeah.â He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit awkward but determined. âI want to take you out right now, just us, if youâll let me.â
Your heart skipped. He was being so boldly awkward about it, standing there in the middle of the hallway like skipping practice for you was the most normal decision in the world.Â
You teased, trying to keep your voice light, âwhat if I say no?â
Jakeâs face fell instantly, that hurt-puppy look laughed at you right in the heartâbig eyes, slight pout, shoulders slumping just a little like youâd actually kicked his favorite ball into traffic. It was funny how you could compare him to puppies so often and he didnât seem to mind.Â
âThenâI guess Iâll go back to practice,â he said quietly, voice cracking at the end, âbut youâre really gonna say no?â
You didnât know what to say, skipping classes wasnât really something you did, unless you were sick beyond your ability to stand, however, a small voice within you screamed, skipping once wouldnât hurt, right?Â
You reached out and took his hand, lacing your fingers through his, sending a shiver up his arm, âlead the way, Sim.â
Jakeâs whole face lit up like youâd just handed him the world, and maybe you did. He squeezed your hand once, tight, and started walking, pulling you gently along with him.
You walked side by side across the quad, the late afternoon sun warm on your skin. His thumb kept brushing slow circles over your knuckles, and the simple touch felt so grounding, so comfortable.Â
âWhere are we going?â You asked after a minute, glancing up at him.
Jake grinned, giving your hand a gentle squeeze, âItâs a secret.â
You raised an eyebrow, but couldnât fight the smile tugging at your lips, âyouâre really not gonna tell me anything?â
âNope,â he said, voice light and playful, âjust trust me, okay?â
From a distance near the science building, Heeseung stood watching the two of you with a small smile, âtheyâre already acting like a couple,â he murmured to himself, shaking his head fondly.
When you reached the parking lot, Jake stopped in front of a sleek black car you didnât recognize.
You looked back at Jake, âwaitâyou drive?â
Jake grinned, a little cocky as he opened the passenger door for you, âyeah, borrowed it from Jay. Figured walking you around campus wasnât gonna cut it today.â
You slid in, the leather seat cool against the back of your thighs. Jake got in on the driverâs side, started the engine, then turned to you, looking a little nervous but hopeful.
âSo, uh, whatâs your favourite flower?â He asked, voice casual but his fingers tapped lightly on the steering wheel.
You raised your brow, surprised by the question, âTulip, why?â
Jake let out a small, relieved breath. He reached into the backseat and pulled out three bouquetsâa bright bunch of fresh tulips, a classic dozen roses, and a smaller mixed one with daisies and soft white flowers.
He handed them to you carefully, almost shy, âI wasnât sure which ones you liked, so I got a few options. Just in case, thank god you chose one of thoseââ
You stared at the flowers in your lap, heart squeezing so hard it almost hurt. He had gone out and bought three different bouquets because he didnât want to get it wrong, for you.
Before you could stop yourself, you leaned across the console and kissed him midway through his nervous ramble.Â
It was soft and grateful at first, but Jake melted instantly, one hand coming up to cup your cheek like he needed to hold onto the moment. When you pulled back, his eyes were a little dazed, lips parted, that stupid, lovestruck smile back on his face.
âGod,â he whispered, thumb brushing your cheek, âyouâre gonna kill me one of these days.â
You laughed softly, cheeks warm, and settled back into your seat with the bouquets still cradled in your lap. Jake grabbed your hand again, lacing your fingers together on the center console like he couldnât stand not touching you.
He started driving, thumb still tracing slow circles over your knuckles, stealing little glances at you every few seconds like he still couldnât believe you were here with him.
You were so fucked, and now, you didnât even care.Â
The drive was short, just ten minutes out of campus to a quiet spot by the river. Youâd passed it a few times before, always packed with students on weekends, but on a weekday afternoon it was practically emptyâjust the soft rush of water, a few birds, and the warm sun filtering through the trees.
Jake parked and killed the engine, then turned to you with that soft smile youâd grown to love, âwait here.â
He got out, popped the trunk, and came around to your side with a big picnic basket and a folded blanket. You watched him spread the blanket on a sunny patch of grass near the water, setting everything out with careful hands. There were little sandwiches you liked, fresh fruit, the coconut berry Red Bull he knew youâd steal from him, and even a small box of those chocolate cookies youâd mentioned once in passing.
You stepped out of the car, flowers still in your arms, feeling suddenly shy that was very out of your character, âJakeâyou did all this?â
He looked up at you from where he was kneeling on the blanket, eyes bright, âyeah. Figured we deserved something nice, just us.â
You sat down beside him, cheeks warm, and he basked in itâthe way you ducked your head a little, fiddling with the edge of the blanket, the small smile you couldnât hide. He loved seeing you like this, unguarded and a little flustered because of him.
The sun got brighter as the afternoon stretched on. After youâd eaten and talked about nothing and everything, Jake stretched out and laid his head in your lap, looking up at you with those pretty eyes. No big smile this timeâjust quiet, almost reverent.
You reached down, fingers finding the hair tie at the back of his head, and gently pulled it out. His dark hair fell loose around his face. You slid your hand into it, playing with the strands, slow and gentle.
Jake let out a contented sigh, eyes never leaving your face.
âYou know I have a dog named Layla?â He said quietly after a while, voice warm.
You smiled down at him, still running your fingers through his hair, âyeah? Tell me about her.â
âSheâs a Border Collie. Super hyper, loves chasing balls, but sheâs the biggest cuddler when sheâs tired. She always knows when Iâm having a bad day and justâsits next to me until I feel better.â
You laughed softly, âshe sounds perfect.â
He hummed, eyes soft, âshe is.â
Time passed easily between you. The river flowed steadily nearby, birds chirped overhead, and the sun warmed your skin. Jake told you how he loved singing but almost never did it in front of people because it felt too embarrassing. You told him how you were terrified of roller coasters and how you liked cats because they were quiet and independent. He almost gasped when you admitted you loved horror movies, cause they scared Jake half to death.
âYou ever scream at the screen?â He asked, grinning up at you.
âNever,â you admitted, âdo you?â
âA lot,â he mumbled, and you chuckledâthat sound becoming Jakeâs favourite each passing second.Â
Jakeâs eyes stayed on your face the whole time, soft and full of something deep. He felt surreal having you like thisâso close, so willing, so in love with the version of you that no one else really got to see. The way your fingers moved through his hair, the gentle way you looked down at him, it made his chest ache in the best way. It made no sense how you looked so fucking pretty even from that angle, so perfect.Â
At one point he reached up, hand gentle on the back of your neck, and pulled you down for a soft kiss. It was slow, sweet, full of everything you both werenât saying yet. You got goosebumps all over, your body reacting so perfectly to him, to the quiet love blooming between you.
When he pulled back, forehead resting against yours, he whispered, âIâm really glad you said yes.â
You kissed him again, softer this time, heart so full it almost hurt.
You could feel how down bad he wasâthe way his hand rested on your thigh like he needed the contact, the quiet reverence in his gaze every time he looked up at you, the small, content sighs he let out whenever your nails scratched lightly against his scalp. He didnât say any of it out loud, he didnât need to, really. It was all there in the way he looked at you.
After a while he sat up slowly, hair messy from your fingers, eyes soft and dark. Without a word he reached for you, hands gentle on your waist as he pulled you into his lap. You settled against him easily, knees on either side of his thighs, and he grabbed your chin with careful fingers, tilting your face down to his.
The kiss was soft at first, full of everything that had been building between you all afternoon. His lips moved against yours like he had all the time in the world, thumb brushing your jaw in the gentlest way.
When he pulled back he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight against his chest. You held him just as tightly, arms looped around his neck, face buried in the crook of his shoulder. You didnât want this to end, not the warmth of him, not the steady beat of his heart against yours, not the way he made the rest of the world feel so far away.
Jake pressed a kiss to the side of your neck, slow and lingering. You whispered his name, soft and breathless, âJakeââ
He smiled against your skin, the curve of his lips warm and pleased. Then he licked over the same spot, and your breath hitched.
You pulled back just enough to look at him, cheeks warm, âyouâre terrible,â you complained, but there was no real heat in it.
Jakeâs eyes sparkled with that smug little glint. Before you could say anything else he pulled you back down into a deeper kiss, filled with everything he feltâthe want, the softness, the quiet desperation of someone who was completely, utterly, helplessly in love with you. His hand slid into your hair, the other pressed against your lower back, holding you close as the kiss turned slow and emotional, tongues brushing, breaths mingling, hearts beating in the same unsteady rhythm.
You melted into it, fingers curling into his shirt, losing yourself in the way he kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: Foggy façade.
It was the third time Jake had rerouted the car to go away from the campus, and you couldnât help but chuckle at his antics, a pout on his plump lips as you pointed out that he was, in fact, not willing to take you home.Â
âI just donât want the day to end, is that so bad?â He spoke so freely and you wondered how he got the confidence to say things like that without sounding ridiculous, his hand stayed laced with yours on the console.Â
âYouâre literally driving in circles,â you said, squeezing his fingers, âweâve passed that same coffee shop twice now.â
Jake glanced over at you, eyes bright even in the fading light, âworth it. Every single time I look at you I forget where Iâm supposed to be going.â
You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face gave you away completely, âsmooth talker. Take me home, Sim, I have an assignment due tomorrow.â
He made a dramatic whining sound, slowing the car at a red light, âone more hour. Please? Iâll be good. Iâll even let you pick the music.â
You laughed, leaning your head back against the seat, even though you couldnât deny it yourself, you didnât wish to go back, âyouâre impossible.â
The light turned green and instead of turning toward campus he took another random right, the river still sparkling in the distance behind you. You narrowed your eyes at him, âJake.â
âWhat?â He asked innocently, but the grin tugging at his mouth was anything but, âIâm justâtaking the scenic route.â
You were still bickering lightly when he suddenly pulled off the main road into a quiet, tree-lined side street and parked under the shade of an old oak. The engine cut off. For a second the only sound was the soft tick of the cooling car and your own heartbeat.
âJake,â you said again, softer this time.
He turned to you fully, eyes dark and a little desperate, âI canât stand not kissing you for one more second.â
Before you could even tease him about it, he was leaning across the console, one hand sliding into your hair as his mouth crashed into yours. The kiss was messy and urgent, like heâd been holding back the whole drive. You kissed him back just as hard, fingers curling into his shirt, the taste of the picnic strawberries still lingering on his tongue.
âBackseat,â he mumbled against your lips, already fumbling with both your seatbelts, âcâmon, baby.â
You laughed breathlessly into the kiss, âJayâs gonna actually murder you if he finds out what weâre doing in his car.â
âLet him,â Jake grinned, nipping at your bottom lip before climbing over the console in that surprisingly smooth way he had. He tugged you with him and you tumbled into the backseat together, legs tangling, laughter bubbling up between more kisses, âtotally worth getting murdered for.â
You ended up straddling his lap, your jeans rubbing against the front of his as his hands gripped your waist tight. The humping started almost immediatelyâslow rolls of your hips that had you both groaning at the friction. Denim on denim felt stupidly good, the thick seam of your jeans pressing right against your core every time you rocked forward.
âFuck,â Jake breathed, head falling back against the seat as you ground down harder, âeven through the jeans you feel incredible.â
You leaned down, kissing him again while you kept moving, slow and teasing, âyouâre so impatient, Jakey,â you murmured against his mouth, smiling when he chased your lips.
âCan you blame me?â He bucked up to meet you, hands sliding under your top to grip your bare waist, âbeen hard since the river. Watching you play with my hair, looking so fucking pretty, I couldnât help it.â
The laughter died down into heavier breaths and soft moans, and you fucking loved how vocal Jake was. You kept rolling your hips in lazy circles, feeling how hard and thick he was beneath you. Jakeâs hands roamed higher, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts, and every little sound he made went straight to your core.
Eventually you slid lower, kissing down his neck, then his chest, until you were kneeling between his legs in the cramped backseat. Your hands worked open his belt and jeans, and when you pulled him out, his cock was so big and thick it made your mouth water.
Jake let out a shaky breath, fingers gently threading into your hair, âbaby, you really donât have toââ
âI want to,â you said, looking up at him. You nuzzled your cheek against the heavy length first, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses along it, feeling it twitch against your skin.
âFuck,â he groaned, low and wrecked. âLook at youânuzzling my cock like that. So pretty.â
You licked a slow stripe from base to tip, then took the head into your mouth, sucking gently. Jakeâs groan was loud, head tipping back against the seat.
âShitâyeah, just like that,â he panted, fingers tightening in your hair but never pushing, âyou look so fucking good with your lips around me.â
You took him deeper, tongue swirling every time you pulled back. He was so thick it stretched your mouth perfectly, and you loved the way he filled you.
âJaeyun,â you moaned around him, the name slipping out soft and needy.
Jakeâs whole body jerked hard, âfuckâsay it again,â he groaned, voice breaking, âgod, I love when you call me that. Say it again, baby, please.â
âJaeyun,â you whispered, taking him even deeper, eyes watering a little as you looked up at him through your lashes.
He let out a wrecked sound, hips twitching up just slightly before he caught himself. His fingers tightened in your hair, not pulling, just holding on like you were the only thing keeping him grounded. You could feel him throbbing against your tongue, the way his thighs tensed every time you hollowed your cheeks.
But then his hand slid down to your shoulder, gentle but urgent, âcome here,â he breathed, voice rough, âI need you closer.â
You pulled off with a soft pop, lips shiny, and he didnât waste a seconâhe tugged you up into his lap again, hands already working your jeans open. You shoved his jeans down further, wrapping your hand around his cock, stroking him slow and tight while he pushed two fingers into you without warning. The stretch made you gasp, forehead dropping to his shoulder.
âFuck, youâre so wet,â he muttered against your neck, curling his fingers just right, âall this for me?â
You nodded, breath hitching as you kept stroking him, thumb swiping over the head on every upstroke. The car was getting warmer, windows starting to fog, the cramped backseat making everything feel even more intenseâelbows bumping seats, knees knocking, but neither of you cared. You rocked into his hand while he fucked you with his fingers, messy and uncoordinated and perfect.
Jakeâs mouth found your neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. You moaned, head tilting to give him more space, and he took it, kissing, licking, biting down gently before soothing the spot with his tongue. Another mark right below your ear, then one on your collarbone. He was claiming you in the quietest way possible, and it made your stomach flip.
His fingers sped up, thumb pressing against your clit, and you squeezed him tighter in response, stroking faster.
âYou feel so good,â he panted, voice low and broken against your skin, âIâI canât even think straight when youâre like this. I think I loââ
You cut him off with a kiss, hard and desperate, swallowing whatever he was about to say. Your heart was hammering too loud, the guilt and the want twisting together until it hurt. You werenât ready, not yet. Not when everything still felt like it was built on something you couldnât admit out loud.
Jake groaned into your mouth, kissing you back like he understood anyway, fingers still moving inside you, thumb circling faster. You kept stroking him, messy and slick, both of you breathing hard between kisses, bodies pressed so close you could feel his heartbeat against yours.
He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead on yours, eyes dark and glassy, âyouâre everything,â he whispered instead, the words thick, âdonât stop, baby.â
You didnât, kissing him again, slower this time, the act so devastatingly soft, your bodies couldnât help but react by reaching the peak of unadulterated pleasure you both provided each other with, messy and desperate, but none of you cared in the moment, enjoying the bliss of it all.Â
Letting the mess of feelings stay buried under the heat of his mouth.
CHAPTER TWELVE:Â The forgotten bet
You didnât know what to do with yourself anymore, and somehow hiding in the library was the best you could do to get away from everything you wanted to be close to. Choosing a seat which you normally didnât opt for was even worse, and the notes in front of you seemed to be in an entirely different language when your mind was elsewhere.Â
But someone had this weird idea about the whereabouts of practically everyone in the campus, which is why Jaemin found you sulking in a corner, his smile as bright as ever as invited himself to sit next to you.Â
âBet not going too well, I presume,â he started, breaking your train of thoughts.Â
That shit eating grin on his face infuriated more, and there was nothing more you wished to do than punch him at the given moment.Â
âWhat the fuck do you want?â You snapped, not even bothering to look up from the notes that might as well have been written in ancient Greek.
âRelax,â he said, leaning back like he had all day, âI come in peace. Just checking in on my favorite partner in crime.â
You finally glanced at him, jaw tight, âthereâs no bet anymore. So, you can leave.â
Jaemin laughed under his breath, spinning one of your pens between his fingers, âsure looks like there is to me. I saw you two at the party, the way he dragged you into his room right in front of everyone. Then yesterday? Jayâs car parked on that quiet street for almost an hour, windows completely fogged up. Jake came back to the dorm looking like heâd just won the lottery. Heâs been skipping practice, smiling at nothing, telling the guys heâs taking you on a date again very soon. Heâs in deep, Y/N. Like, actually gone.â
Your stomach twisted. Of course he knew. Jaemin always knew everything that happened on campus.
He leaned in a little, voice dropping but still smug, âyouâve got him right where you want him. One more good date, a couple more nights like yesterday, and heâs gonna say it. The whole iâm in love with you speech. Then you reject him, take the Paris trip, and we both win. Easy.â
You stared at him, chest tight, âyouâre actually serious right now.â
âDead serious,â he said, grin still firmly in place. âThis was your plan too, remember? Make him fall hard, then crush him. Donât go soft on me just because he bought you three bouquets and looked at you with those puppy eyes. Youâre winning. Donât fuck it up now.â
He stood up slowly, tapping the table once with his knuckle, âthink about it. Heâs already forgetting the car even exists. Finish the job before it gets too messy.â
Jaemin walked off without another word, even though you did scream your answer, garnering the attention of students who werenât pleased about it. But yes, he did leave you alone with the heavy knot in your chest and the notes you still couldnât read.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Too good to be trueÂ
This wasnât the plan.Â
Sitting in the bleachers, supporting Jake, clad in this jacket as if you were his girlfriend. To make things worse, Jake absolutely preened in showing you off, not one care about embarrassment, not when he was the one who had insisted you wear it before the game even started.Â
âLooks better on you than it does on me,â heâd said with that easy grin, tugging the collar straight and pressing a quick kiss to your forehead right there on the sidelines where half the team could see. Youâd rolled your eyes at the time, but now, with his name printed across the back in bold white letters, you felt the weight of every curious glance from the crowd.
The game was loud to say the least, Jungwon and Karina agreed, but they also silently agreed that your happiness came first, and at the moment, you looked really happy. Jake was everywhereâstealing the ball with sharp precision, setting up plays that made the stands roar, running like the field belonged to him alone. Every few minutes his eyes would flick up to the bleachers, searching until they landed on you. The second they did, his whole face would change. That bright, boyish smile would break through the concentration, and heâd give you this tiny, secret nod like you two were the only ones who understood what it meant.
âIâm not doing it,â you whispered to yourself.Â
Jungwon only smiled, âwe knowâweâve always known.â
You turned to look at him, âhow?â Somehow the question itself made you seem small, especially the possibility of Jake finding out and losing trust in youâseemed way worse.Â
âYou try to act all tough, but we know how soft you are,â Karina spoke softly.Â
âAnd with Jake? There was no way we didnât see this coming, you really canât fool us,â Jungwon added with a dimpled smile, making you chuckle despite the breakdown you were going to have.Â
You didnât realize how heavy the bet felt till you got it off of your chest, eyes watery as you turned to look at Jake in his element yet again, watching how he moved with ease under the burden of the timer ticking. But Jake was really good at what he did, kicking the ball straight into the net as it curled around in the corner left just as the whistle blew in the background.Â
You didnât even realize you were screaming until your own voice hit your ears. You shot up fully, hands in the air, cheering so loud your throat hurt. âYes, Jake! Go!â The words just flew out of you, completely unfiltered. Jungwon and Karina were jumping beside you, all three of you yelling like idiots.Â
Jake didnât celebrate with his teammates. He broke away from the pile and ran straight for the stands, jumping the barrier in one smooth motion, and before you could even catch your breath he was right there in front of you, chest heaving, that huge, bright grin on his face.
He grabbed your waist with both hands and spun you around once, fast. Your feet left the ground, the roar of the crowd blurring into one big cheer.
âJake!â You squeaked, laughing but instantly embarrassed as people around you whistled and shouted, âput me downâeveryoneâs watchingââ
He didnât listen. He spun you one more time, slower this time, eyes locked on yours like the rest of the stadium had disappeared. âLet them watch,â he said, still grinning like an idiot, âI scored that goal thinking about you, I want them to know it.â
When he finally set you back on your feet he didnât step back. He cupped your face with both hands and kissed you right there in front of everyoneâdeep, a little messy, his jersey was damp with sweat, his heart still hammering against yours, but the kiss felt steady.Â
Your face burned hot the second his lips touched yours. You could feel hundreds of eyes on you, phones probably out, people cheering and laughing, but Jake didnât care at all. He kissed you like the crowd wasnât even there, like this was the only thing that mattered.
When he finally pulled back just enough to rest his forehead on yours, he was breathing hard, eyes shining, âIâI, uh,â he tried to find words, but with you looking at him so sweetly, he just melted, âyouâre my good luck charm.â
And gosh, you smiled, pecking him softly, reciprocating the exact feelings heâd been harbouring towards you. His teammates were yelling his name from the field, and so he left with a promise to be back soon.Â
Itâs normal for any sane person to get scared when things feel too good to be true, exactly how they felt for you and Jake, so the flicker of worry didnât go unnoticed by Jake after the whole team came out. When they came out of the locker rooms, hair damp and smelling like fresh soap, Jake made a face at the idea of the big victory party happening across campus.
He glanced at you, really looked at you for a second, and caught the tiny flicker of worry that crossed your face, clearing his throat, âguys, Iâm tired, letâs just go to the dorm and get some food and drinks ordered in.âÂ
Jake looked down at you again, voice softer just for you, âthat cool? We can keep it small.â
You managed a small smile and nodded, âyeah. That sounds perfect, actually.â
He smiled back, the kind of relieved, soft smile that made your chest feel a little lighter, and pressed a quick kiss to the side of your head, âgood, letâs go home then.â
Jaemin, who had wandered over to join the group at some point, grinned wide. Jeno, standing a step behind him, shot Jaemin a sharp look and shook his head once, trying to warn him without saying anything out loud. Jaemin just smirked and ignored him completely.
Jake didnât notice. He was too busy lacing his fingers with yours again, already tugging you gently toward the dorms. It was new to you, the feeling of being held in someoneâs armsâin front of everyone, as if the concept of personal space was foreign to Jake, but did you actually want him to let go of you? Absolutely not, even if you wonât admit it out loud.Â
Jake hadnât let go of you once. He kept you tucked right against his side on the couch, one arm looped around your shoulders, fingers tracing lazy little patterns on your arm like he couldnât stop touching you. Every few minutes heâd lean in and press a soft kiss to your temple or the top of your head or the corner of your mouth, completely unbothered by the others being right there.
Was it really that easy to fall in so deep for someone within a month? Take yourself for example, wrapped up in Jakeâs embrace, it certainly did seem true to some extent.Â
âYou okay? Youâve been quiet since we got back, was I too much?â He asked, thumb brushing the side of your neck, a worried pout on his face.Â
You shook your head just a bit, âIâm just happy, you did so well out there, Jakey.â
He sighed with happiness, all worries gone in a second, âcouldnât have done it without you.â
Sunghoon groaned loudly, âdude, youâre so gone itâs painful to watch.â
Jake laughed, pressing another kiss to the top of your head, âleave me alone, man. I earned this.â
You were about to tease him back when the door swung open.
Jaemin strolled in with Jeno beside him, grabbing a slice of pizza from the nearest box and dropping onto the arm of the couch across from you, taking a big bite. His eyes flicked over the sceneâJakeâs arm still wrapped around you, the way Jake was still leaning into you like he couldnât get close enough. Jaeminâs grin sharpened.
âDamn, look at you two,â he said casually, chewing, âstill going strong, huh? So Jake, did you finally drop the L-word on her yet? Cause you have two days left till the bet ends.â
You stilled, staring at Jaemin with wide eyes, just like everyone else in the room. Jeno groaned at the back cause he did try to stop Jaem, but to no avail. But it was almost as if he couldnât pick up context cues, and so he continued, âyou told her about it right? Since youâre smitten now, thatâs why youâre together, right?âÂ
âJaemin,â Jake warned him, his hold tightening on you, âshut the fuck up.â
Jungwon and Karina were ready to take you back, almost jumping to their feet, but thatâs not where Jaem stopped. Jungwon was already shifting closer on the couch until his knee pressed against yours, one hand resting lightly on your arm like he was ready to pull you out of there the second you needed it.
âWhat? You didnât tell her?â He smirked, now staring right at you, âwell, too fucking bad cause she already fucking knows youâre playing her for a car,â he smirked, leaning back against the couch, finally letting the drama unfold.Â
Your chest tightened so hard it hurt to breathe. You felt the heat rush to your face, then drain away just as fast, leaving you cold. Jay was staring at the floor like it had answers. Heeseungâs hand froze around his beer. Sunghoon looked like he wanted to sink into the cushions. Karinaâs eyes were wide, looking at you knowing exactly how you felt right nowâespecially after the nights you cried with her. Jungwonâs fingers tightened on your arm because of the same.Â
Of course his friends had known the whole time.
You pulled away from Jakeâs arm slowly, like your body was moving through water. The walls youâd been trying so hard to keep down slammed back up, higher than before. You felt small, exposed, stupid even. Like every soft kiss, every my girl, every time he looked at you like you mattered had been watched and laughed at behind your back.
You stood up, âI knew it the whole time,â you confessed, observing just how panicked he seemed at the moment, âJaemin told me everything at the very beginningâhow you just bet on my feelings for his car,â you tried to stop yourself from getting emotional, letting a shaky breath out as Jakeâs shaking hand held on to yours, âso he asked me to do the same, to show you how it hurts to play with someoneâs emotions.âÂ
His face went pale, and even though he opened his mouth, no words came out, just throbbing pain in his heart, and eyes wide as if heâd gotten punched in the gut.Â
Maybe him accepting it wouldâve made it better, but for Jake, there wasnât an option between fight or flight, only freezing on the spot. Everyone stayed silent, watching it unfold and Jay tried to shake Jakeâs shoulders, but all he could see was your trust crumpling, and his heart breaking.Â
âYouâyou donât actually like me?â He asked, voice breaking.Â
âI doâI fucking do,â your voice cracked as well, âgoing through with the bet was not my intention, but what about you, Jake?â
Jakeâs hand, still reaching for yours, started to tremble. His mouth opened again, but nothing came out. The guilt on his face was so raw it made your stomach turn. He looked hurtâreally hurt, and you werenât sure how to feel anymore, the hypocrisy of it all sinking in deeper, making everything worse. Youâd planned to use him too, you were no better. The walls around you shot up even higher at the absence of words, of reassurance.Â
So you asked again, âJake, was any of it real?âÂ
Jake finally spoke, voice barely above a whisper, broken, âyouâyou knew the whole time?â
You nodded, a tear cascaded down the curve of your cheek freely, âyeah. I knew.â
He let out a shaky breath, like the words physically hurt him, âand you stillâyou let me fall for you anyway? You let me get this deep even though you knew I started it for a stupid bet? Why didnât you tell me?âÂ
The rise in his voice almost made you laugh, âso now youâre hurt cause I knew? After you started the whole thing for a car? Thatâs rich, Jake.â
Jungwon stood up right beside you, shoulder brushing yours, protective, âY/N, you donât have to explain anything else to him, not right now.â
âNo, noâJake just fucking tell me, is it real?â You waited for an answer, to get absolute silence in return, âJake?âÂ
You tried for the last time, just to find tears streaming down his flushed face, but nothing came out of his mouth. He was too in his head, cursing himself, cursing Jaeming for letting it happen, but you? How could he ever hate you?Â
Wiping your tears roughly, you let Karina embrace you, who kept glaring at all the boys. It wasnât awkward for them, they felt guilty too, but knew better than to speak up in between them.Â
You stepped back, âfine thenâIâm done, weâre done. Donât follow me, donât text me. Just stay the hell away from me.â
You turned toward the door. Jake shot up after you, voice cracking, âY/N, waitâplease, just let me explainââ
âDonât,â you snapped, not turning around.
Karina was already grabbing your jacket, âcâmon, letâs get out of here.â
Jungwon stayed right at your side until you reached the door, then spun around, glaring at Jay, âyou shouldâve stopped him, you knew what he was doing from the start. You let him play with her feelings like it was nothing. What the fuck, Jay?â
Jay looked wrecked, never expecting Jungwon to get angry, âI tried, man. I told him it was fucked upââ
âYou all knew!â Jungwonâs voice rose, âevery single one of you sat there and watched her fall and didnât say a word. Thatâs fucked upâyou couldnât reassure her after she told you everything, huh, Jake?â
You didnât wait to hear more, stepping into the hallway, Karina right behind you, her hand gentle on your back,âIâve got you,â she whispered, âjust breathe, okay?â
Behind the closed door, it only got worse, Jungwonâs voice only got louder as Jay tried to explain himself.
As the boys gathered to calm down Jungwon, they completely missed the way Jake got up and headed towards Jaemin. Only the sound of a loud crash got their attentionâJakeâs fist connecting with Jaeminâs jaw.Â
âYou fucking asshole,â Jake snarled, his voice raw and broken. Another punch landed, his knuckles splitting open against Jaeminâs cheekbone. Blood smeared across his hand and dripped onto the floor. Heeseung and Sunghoon tried to pull him back, but Jake was swinging again, tears streaming down his face as he cried freely, angry and devastated all at once.
âFucking get off me!â He shouted, his voice cracking between sobs, "this is your faultâall of it! You ruined everything!â
Furniture scraped against the floor. Someone yelled for them to stop, but it fell deaf to Jakeâs ears. He kept swinging, his knuckles bleeding worse with every punch, tears falling fast down his cheeks, until Heeseung and Sunghoon finally managed to drag him back, both of them breathing hard.
Jaemin didnât care much, he looked rather amused at the situation as Jeno tried to pull him up in furious whispers of urging him to stop being messy.Â
Jake stood there in the middle of the mess, shoulders shaking, blood on his hands and tears still streaming from his bloodshot eyes. He looked completely destroyed.
And you? You didnât look back.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Salvation
So maybe you did jinx yourself for thinking everything was perfect. However, it made no sense to you, or to anyone for that matter. You werenât an expert about feelings by any means, yet it was clear to anyone with working eyes that whatever you and Jake had was far from fake.Â
Why couldnât he say it?Â
You knew the stakes, you came clean to him, and god knows you couldnât be mad at him for telling you that it, in fact, started off because of a bit. But the silence hurt.Â
âI love him,â you whispered, and Karina hugged you tighter at how raw the confession sounded.Â
âI know,â she mumbled, âitâs okay, itâll be okay.â
You stayed quiet for a while, letting her hold you. The numbness had settled deep, leaving you strangely serene even as your heart ached. There were no more tears left. Just this heavy, enthralling ache that refused to let go.
Karina eventually pulled back and brushed a strand of hair from your face, âIâm gonna make you some tea, okay? Iâll be right back, yeah?â
You nodded mutely and watched her head to the small kitchenette. The soft clink of the kettle and mugs filled the room as you sat there on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing.Â
Karina was busy with the kettle as a knock came at the door, making her pause her ministrations. She walked over and opened the door just a crack, hoping itâd be Jungwon.
It was Jake.
He looked utterly destroyed. His eyes were bloodshot and had started to swell from crying, cheeks still damp with fresh tears. His knuckles were split open and bleeding, dark red smeared across his hand and the sleeve of his hoodie. He was breathing hard, like heâd run the entire way here without stopping.
Karinaâs eyes widened in horror, âJakeâwhat the hell happened to your hands?â
He didnât even look at her. His gaze was fixed past her shoulder, desperately searching for you, âplease,â he said, his voice hoarse and broken. Without waiting, he slowly lowered himself to his knees right there in the hallway, bloody hands clasped in front of him, âplease, Karina, just let me talk to her. I need her to know it was real, Iâm begging you.â
Karina stood frozen for a long moment, clearly torn. She glanced back at you, then down at Jake kneeling on the floor, tears still slipping down his face, knuckles dripping blood onto the tiles.
She let out a heavy, reluctant sigh.
âIâcome in,â she said quietly, stepping aside, âbut if you make this any worse, I swear to God, Jakeââ
Jake didnât even stand up right away. He stayed on his knees for another heartbeat, bloody hands still clasped like he was praying, before he pushed himself up on shaky legs. God, his eyesâthey were red-rimmed and glassy, the golden-boy sparkle completely shattered. He looked like heâd been run over by a truck and then backed over again for good measure.
Karina shot you one last warning glance before she slipped into the kitchenette, muttering something about giving you two five minutes and that sheâd be right there with a knife if needed. The door to your room clicked shut behind her, leaving nothing but the sound of Jakeâs ragged breathing and the faint drip of blood onto your floor.
You stayed rooted on the edge of the bed, arms wrapped tight around your middle like you could physically hold yourself together. Your heart was hammering so hard it hurt. A part of you wanted to scream at him to get the fuck out. The other partâthe stupid, traitorous part that had fallen anywayâached at the sight of him like this.
You swallowed hard, voice coming out sharper than you meant, âwhat the hell are you doing here, Jake? What now?â
Jake ran a shaky hand through his hair, smearing a thin streak of blood across his forehead, âI donât know,â he groaned, âI really fucking donât. You said all that shit after the game and I justâI just froze, okay? I punched Jaemin so hard I think I broke something, and it still didnât make me feel better. Nothing did.â
You looked away, âso you came here?âÂ
âYeah, I came here,â his voice was rough, frustrated. He took another step closer, boots scuffing the floor, âwhat else was I supposed to do? You just walked off, were my actions not enough for you, huh? I sat in my room staring at the wall like an idiot for an hour.â
You let out a sharp laugh, finally looking at him again, âoh, poor you. Mustâve been real hard.â
âDonât,â he warned, âdonât do that. You told me you knew everything and you fell anyway. And then you justâleft. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?â
You stood up fast, arms dropping to your sides, âwhat did you expect? A hug? You started this whole thing. You came after me for a bet. I only played along to fuck you over and now look at us. Iâm the dumbass who actually caught feelings, while you couldnât even admit it in front of your friends.â
Jakeâs jaw clenched so hard you saw the muscle jump, âI broke the bet off before the date, Y/N. Before I even took you out. That morning I told Jaemin I was done with the whole thing. He was just stirring shit tonight to fuck with both of us.â
You stared at him, the words hitting like a slap, âyouâyou what?â
âYeah,â he whispered, âI ended it days ago. Because it wasnât a game anymore, not for me. But you still think I was using you the whole time, donât you?â
Your hands started shaking, âthen why the fuck didnât you tell me? You let me keep thinking it was all fake while I was falling for you like an idiot? While I was lying to my friends and to myself?â
âBecause I was terrified!â His voice cracked, louder now, âI knew the second I said it out loud youâd look at me like thisâlike Iâm the enemy. I didnât want to lose you and I still fucking donât. Iâm in love with you, okay? Not for the bet or the stupid car.â
You shoved at his chest, hard, but your fingers stayed twisted in his hoodie at the confession. He loves you, and he was never once hesitant to show it till now, âyouâre such a fucking coward, Jake.â
âI know,â he breathed, eyes glassy as he pressed closer, forehead almost touching yours, âIâm the biggest coward on campus. But Iâm yours if you still want me.â
You yanked him down by the hoodie and pulled him into a deep kiss as Jake groaned into your mouth, hands sliding under your shirt, bloody knuckles rough against your skin, and you could taste the saltiness of his tears on his lips.Â
âI love you,â he gasped right against your lips, the words spilling out shaky between kisses, âfuck, I love youââ
You whined into his mouth at how freely he said it now. Jake had always been truthful to his feelings, while youâd been insecure, which is why you couldnât do much but kiss him back, hoping that itâll show how you reciprocate the feelings.Â
The sharp tang of blood hit your tongue when his injured knuckle brushed your jaw. You pulled back, breathing hard, eyes dropping to his right hand. Only that one knuckle was split open, still seeping a thin line of red.
âJake,â you muttered, fingers wrapping around his wrist gently and turning it over, âyouâre still bleeding.â
He tried to pull you back in, eyes dark and hazy, âdonât careââ
âI do.â You slid off his lap before he could argue, legs a little unsteady as you crossed to the shelf by your desk. Your hands shook slightly when you grabbed the antiseptic wipes, a small tube of ointment, and a strip of gauze. When you turned back he was still sitting on the edge of the bed exactly where youâd left him, watching you with this raw, open look that made your stomach twist in the deepest wayâcause gosh, he looked beautiful.
You knelt between his thighs again and took his injured hand. The wipe stung when you pressed it to the cut. Jake hissed softly through his teeth but didnât pull away. He just stared at your face like the sight of you taking care of him was something he couldnât quite believe was real.
âYouâre really doing this right now,â he said quietly.Â
âSomeone has to,â you whispered, dabbing the blood away carefully, then smoothing ointment over the split skin. Every small touch felt heavier than it shouldâthe faint tremble in his fingers, the way your own heartbeat was slamming so hard against your ribs it felt like it was echoing in your throat. You wrapped the gauze around his knuckle slowly, and the quiet intimacy of it settled somewhere deep in your chest, warm and aching and terrifying all at once.
When you finished he caught your face with both hands and pulled you up into another kiss as if pouring every ounce of emotions heâd ever felt towards you, his lips slotting perfectly against yours, a bit messy with how reverent he was. He even wish to breathe anymore, just accepting the warmth of your mouth as a way to live.Â
âYouâre so fucking perfect,â he breathed against your mouth again, the words vibrating through you, âgod, I love you so much it feels like itâs in my bones. Like every time I touch you I remember how close I came to losing this.â
You climbed back into his lap, straddling him, and kissed him harder, hips rolling once against the obvious hardness straining in his sweatpants. The friction made you both moan softly. His bandaged hand slid up your back under your shirt, palm warm against your spine, while the other cupped the back of your neck like he was scared youâd pull away.
He broke the kiss just enough to rest his forehead against yours, breathing ragged. His eyes were glassy, voice cracking when he spoke.
âDo you actually want me?â He whispered, lips brushing yours with every word, ânot because weâre both fucked up right now. Justâtell me, if not iâll just stop. Say it against my mouth, pleasw, I need to hear it.â
Your heart felt too big for your chest, a heavy, aching throb that matched the pulse between your legs. You leaned in until your lips touched his with every syllable.
âI want you,â you breathed right against him, âI want you so fucking bad, Jake. Just youâall of you.â
The second the words left your mouth you grabbed his bandaged right hand and pressed his palm flat to the center of your chest, right over your racing heart. His fingers spread wide, the gauze rough and warm against your skin, and Jake let out this low, broken groan that vibrated straight through you.
âFuckâbaby,â he rasped, eyes fluttering like he was barely holding it together, âfor me?â
Youâd seen how Jake got during intimate moments, but the way he was acting right nowâbreathing hard against your skin, you werenât sure how much longer youâd be able to handle without confessing all your feelings for the pretty boy in front of you. The fact that he came running so soon, that he wished to clear things up, it was enough. Staying mad at him wasnât ever a choice when every single cell within you yearned for him.Â
âFor you,â you whispered gently, eyes never leaving his face.Â
He looked stunning to say the least, perhaps the prettiest crier youâve ever laid your eyes upon. His face was flushed, this beautiful shade of red gracing it, and you couldnât help but trace your thumb over his swollen lip, âyouâre so pretty,â you whispered without thinking twice.  Â
In one smooth motion he flipped you both, laying you down on the bed and settling between your thighs, his body pressing you into the mattress. The sudden weight of him, the heat rolling off his skin, the way his pendant swung forward and rested cool against your clavicleâit made you shiver. You looked down and saw it, your initials, small and delicate on the silver chain around his neck, nestled right there against your skin.
A soft, involuntary moan slipped out of you.
Jakeâs breath hitched hard against your neck, âyou see it, baby?â He whispered, his lipsâso fucking soft and plush, brushed your throat as he spoke, âgot it the next day after our date, been wearing it since.â
âYouâre crazy,â you managed to say, but your eyes were shining just as bright as his own, his usual smile stretching, making your heart race faster than usual.Â
The proximity was maddening. His chest pressed flush to yours, heart hammering so hard you could feel it through his ribs. The heat of his body soaked into every inch of you, his breath hot and ragged on your neck. He took his time to take your scent in, shamelessly so, doing exactly what he couldnât when he first talked to you, and swore he was rather drunk on it.Â
He buried his face deeper into the curve of your neck and inhaled again, slow and shaky, like he was trying to memorize you, âfuckâwanted to do this when I first met you,â he mumbled, lips dragging along your pulse point, open-mouthed and wet.
You shivered hard, fingers sliding up into his hair and tugging lightly, âthen stop holding back now, Jake. Touch me.â
He groaned, âyeah? You want that?â His bandaged hand slipped under your shirt, palm hot and trembling as it cupped your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple until it tightened, âlike this? Tell me if itâs good, baby. I need to hear you.â
âFeels so good,â you breathed, arching into his touch, âdonât be gentle. I want to feel how bad you want me.â
âFuck,â he rasped, voice cracking, âIâm gonna show you how sorry I am. Gonna make you feel it with every fucking inch of me until you know Iâm yours.â He pushed your shirt higher, mouth following right behind, kissing and sucking down your chest like he was starving, âgod, look at youâso fucking pretty under me. Can I take this off? I need to see all of you, baby. Please?â
You nodded fast, lifting your arms. He peeled your shirt off and tossed it aside, then just stared, chest rising fast, âfuckâthese tits. Been thinking about them every night.â His mouth latched onto one nipple, plush lips sucking slow and deep while his hand palmed the other one, thumb teasing the peak until you were squirming.
âJaeyunâshit, that feels so good,â you moaned, back arching.
âYeah? You like my mouth here?â he asked, switching sides, tongue swirling lazy circles. âTell me, baby. I need to hear how good Iâm making you feel.â
âSo good,â you whimpered, fingers tightening in his hair, âdonât stop.â
âWonât stop,â he sighed in pleasure, sucking harder as his teeth grazed just enough to make you gasp, the pendant dragging cool over your skin with every move of his head.Â
You couldnât take it anymore. You pushed at his shoulders and flipped you both again, straddling his hips, grinding down slow and filthy against the hard line of his cock through his pants.
Jakeâs eyes rolled back, a wrecked groan tearing out of him, âJesus Christâyeah, keep going, pretty.â
You leaned down, hair falling around both of you, and kissed him deep, tongue sliding against his, his fingers digging into the flesh of your waist, as if no amount of kissing could satiate his hunger.Â
You pulled back just enough to look at him, lips still brushing and his eyes were blown wide, chest heaving under you. Holding his gaze, you gathered spit in your mouth, and let it drip slowly right onto his waiting tongue.
Jakeâs whole body jerked hard beneath you. A wrecked, filthy moan tore out of his throat as the warm spit landed on his tongue. He didnât even hesitate before swallowing it down with a shaky groan, then leaned right up and licked into your mouth like he was chasing the taste of you, tongue sliding against yours again, ever so messy and eager.
The absolute joy of being here, so free and filthy with Jake despite everything, had you getting freakier by second knowing damn well how Jake would be thrilled, and he did. He wasnât sure what heâd do with himself if you didnât accept his apology, or if youâd admit that it was a game to you. But seeing neither was the case, he had to take the next stepâto show exactly how much he wanted you.Â
âSo dirty for me, huh?â He smirked, sucking on your tongue, âfucking perfect, youâre mine, yeah? Made for me.â
âGetting possessive already?â You chuckled deeply, licking up his neck, nibbling on his earlobe, confidence boosting by second at the sight of him shivering with your ministrations, âyou like it when I spit in that pretty mouth of yours, Jake?Â
He tugged your bottom lip between his teeth, gentle but playful, giving it a light pull before letting it go with a soft pop, âlike it?â He murmured, eyes sparkling with that familiar mischief even now, âdarling, I fucking love it. You have no idea how long Iâve wanted you to be this comfortable with meâthis filthy.â
You grinned, rolling your hips down against the hard line of his cock, âthen stop talking and do something about it.â
Jake clicked his tongue, rolling over so you were under him again, pinning you to the mattress with his weight, eyebrow cocked up, âbossy tonight, arenât you?â He teased, lips brushing yours as he spoke.
You traced your finger up his spine, grabbing the hair on his nape with a tug that had him groaning, âwhy wouldnât I be? Youâre mine now, arenât you?â You challenged.Â
âClaiming me now, hm? Not mad anymore?â He caught your wrist, pinning it beside your head with his bandaged hand while his other slid down to grip your thigh, spreading you wider under him.Â
The weight of him was heavenly, you could feel the faint ridges of his abs through his hoodie, the way his heart was slamming against your ribs like it was trying to reach you. His pendant swung forward, cool metal kissing your skin right between your breasts, and the sight of your own initials resting there made you whine yet again.Â
âWant me to be mad?â You pecked his neck, âwant me to go ask someone else to please meââ
Jakeâs head snapped up so fast it was almost comical, âyou fucking dare say that again,â he almost groaned, his grip on your thigh tightening, fingers digging in like he needed to remind himself you were really here, âdonât even joke about that shit, the thought of someone else even looking at you the way I do makes me want to lose my fucking mind.â
You blinked up at him, surprised by how quickly the jealousy hit, âJakeââ
âNo,â He he you off, voice rough as he shoved your shorts and panties down your legs in one impatient yank, the fabric tearing slightly at the seam. He didnât care. He tossed them off the bed and settled between your thighs like he belonged there, his big nose brushing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he inhaled deep, shameless.
âFuck,â he muttered, eyes locked on how wet you were, âyouâre actually dripping. All this for me, just for me, hm?â
You tried to answer, but the words died in your throat when he dragged two fingers through your folds, spreading the wetness before pushing them inside you in one smooth thrust. The stretch made your back arch off the bed with a sharp gasp.
âJakeââ
âYeah?â He curled his fingers deep right away, thumb brushing your clit in slow circles. His nose rubbed against your inner thigh as he leaned in closer, breath hot against your pussy, âkeep talking. I wanna hear what you wanna say while my fingers are buried in you like this.â
You clenched around him, hips rolling up to chase the feeling, absolutely enamoured with how possessive he wasâmaybe thatâs what you wanted, him claiming you so freely, âyouâre so fucking jealous,â you managed, half-laugh, half-moan, âgodâI fucking love you.â
It didnât take much for you to say it, but to Jake, it was everything.Â
His fingers froze deep inside you for a split second. Then he yanked them out so fast you whimpered at the sudden emptiness, but before you could even protest he was surging up your body, cupping your face with both hands, thumbs pressing into your cheeks as he stared down at you like youâd just knocked the air out of his lungs.
âSay it again,â he demanded, chest heaving and eyes wild.
âI love you, Jaeyun,â you whispered, looking straight in his eyes.Â
âFuckâI love you too,â he managed to say desperately, he crushed his mouth to yours, kissing you like he was trying to crawl inside your skin, âi needed to hear that.â
He pressed open mouthed kisses all over your torso, only stopping to take his hoodie off in a go, revealing the faint lines of his abs and the light scatter of freckles across his shoulders. The sight of him all flushed, made heat flood between your legs even more.
He slid back down your body fast, shoving your thighs apart wider. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, opening you up even more, his big nose brushed your inner thigh as he inhaled deep and shameless. âFuck, you smell so good when youâre this turned on,â he groaned, then dragged his tongue in one long, filthy stripe up your pussy, moaning loud when he tasted you, âmine, hm.â
His nose rubbed firm and perfect against your clit as he licked, the pressure making your hips jerk.
âJakeâgodd,â you gasped, fingers twisting in his hair.
He looked up at you, lips shiny, eyes dark, âyeah? You like my mouth on you?â He sucked your clit into his mouth, fingers pushing back inside you, curling just right, âtell me, baby, I wanna hear how good Iâm making you feel while I eat this pretty pussy.â
âSo good,â you moaned, thighs shaking around his head, âyour noseâright there, it feels so fucking good rubbing my clit like that.â
He caressed the soft flesh of your inner thighs with his veiny hand, thumb stroking back and forth.
Placing open mouthed kisses on it made it worse (better), and you twitched hard.
Jakeâs eyes flicked up to yours, lips curving into a filthy little smirk, âoh? Sensitive here?â He dragged his teeth along the inside of your thigh, then sucked hard, leaving a dark mark right where his thumb had been stroking, âfuck, I love that. Gonna mark every spot that makes you shake for me, yeah? My good fucking girl.â
He didnât give you time to recover. He buried his face between your legs again, eyes never leaving your face, and just how perfect you looked shaking for him, memorizing every bit of it.Â
He sucked harder, fingers pumping faster, nose pressing firm and relentless. âMhm, cum for me, baby. Let me taste how much you want me right now.â
You came hard, thighs clamping around his head as you cried out his name, pulsing around his fingers while he kept licking and sucking you through it, moaning like your orgasm was the best thing heâd ever tasted.
He didnât stop until you were whimpering and pushing weakly at his shoulders, over-sensitive and trembling.
Only then did he crawl back up your body, kissing you deep so you could taste yourself on his tongue. His cock was straining hard against his pants, the front completely soaked with pre-cum.
You reached down and palmed him through the fabric. âTake these off,â you said, voice hoarse, âI want to see you. All of you.â
Jake sat back on his heels, eyes locked on yours the whole time as he shoved his pants and boxers down his hips, keeping it on the side. His cock sprang free, thick, flushed dark, and leaking at the tip. He wrapped his veiny hand around it and gave himself one slow stroke, watching your reaction.
âBetter?â He asked, a smirk tugging at his swollen lips even as his chest still heaved, âthis what you wanted?â
You bit your lip, heat flooding through you at the sight of him so flushed and bare, freckles standing out across his nose and shoulders, faint abs flexing with every breath, cock heavy in his hand.
âBetter,â you breathed, sitting up just a little, reaching out to wrap your fingers around his thick length.Â
He let out a shaky laugh that turned into a groan when you stroked him slowly from base to tip, thumb swiping over the leaking head, âlove your hand, so fucking pretty,â he mumbled, hips twitching forward into your fist, âbeen hard for you for so long it hurts. Câmon, get on your back, baby, I need to be inside you.â
You lay back, spreading your legs for him. Jake settled between them, rubbing the thick head of his cock up and down your soaked folds, coating himself in your wetness, being thick enough that the first push made your breath catch.
âEasy,â he murmured, voice strained as he pressed in slowly, making you feel every inch he gave you, âyouâre so tightâfuck, just breathe for me. Iâve got you.â
It took time. He worked himself in with shallow thrusts, letting you adjust to the stretch, his jaw clenched tight, sweat already beading on his flushed chest. When he finally bottomed out, buried to the hilt, the fullness made your eyes flutter shut and a broken moan slip out of you.
âShit, Jaeyun youâre so deep,â you gasped, nails digging into his shoulders.
He stayed still for a moment, forehead pressed to yours, breathing hard, âyou feel so fucking good,â he groaned, âlike you were made for me. Tell me when youâre ready.â
You rolled your hips experimentally and moaned, âyeah, yeahâplease.â
He started slow, deep rolls of his hips that dragged against every sensitive spot inside you, building the pace slowly with steadier strokes that made your back arch and your moans louder. Every thrust pushed the air out of your lungs, the wet slap of skin on skin filling the room.
âGod, look at you taking me,â he panted, eyes locked on where you were stretched around him, âso pretty and full of my cock.â
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, âharder, Jake. I can take it.â
He groaned and gave you exactly what you asked for, hips snapping faster, the pendant with your initials swinging between your breasts with every thrust. His veiny hand slid down to rub your clit, drawing eights on them.Â
You were moaning his name, right on the edge, when you suddenly pushed at his chest, âwaitâI want to ride you.â
Jake didnât hesitate, in fact, he was already drooling at the image of your pretty tits jiggling right in front of him. He flipped onto his back, pulling you on top of him in one smooth motion. You straddled his lap and sank down onto his cock in one go, both of you moaning loudly at the new angle.
âFuckâride me, baby,â he groaned, hands gripping your hips as you started moving. His thumbs brushed your nipples, pinching and rolling them while you bounced on his thick length, âso fucking pretty riding my cock like you own it.â
You leaned forward, pressing your chest to his, and started sucking dark hickeys into the side of his neck, right below his jaw, âI do own it, baby.â
Jakeâs head fell back, a low moan escaping him as you marked him up.
âYou do, just youâ he panted, one hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck, holding you against him while the other kept playing with your nipple, âwant everyone to see Iâm yours.â
He reached blindly to the side, grabbing his discarded pants. From the pocket he pulled out a delicate silver pendantâhis initials engraved on it. He had planned on asking you out properly before Jaemin fucked it up, but he didnât plan on waiting anymore, caressing your neck as he clasped it around you, letting it sit beautifully on your clavicle.Â
âWear this for me,â he said, voice rough as he watched it bounce lightly with every roll of your hips. The cool metal rested against your overheated skin, a constant little shock that made you shiver, ânow say it. Say youâre mine while youâre riding my cock.â
You sat up straighter, rolling your hips deep, warmth blooming inside you at how beautiful the small accessory was, âIâm yours, Jake,â you moaned, looking down at him, âall yours.â
His eyes rolled back for a second, hands tightening on your hips as he helped you ride him harder. âThatâs my girl,â he groaned, thumb still playing with your nipple, âkeep saying it. I wanna hear it every time you sink down on me, baby.â
You pressed your face into his neck again, sucking another mark there as you rode him faster, both of you lost in each other, sweaty and desperate and finally, completely real.
Jakeâs grip on your hips turned bruising, fingers digging in as he thrust up to meet every roll of your body.
âFuckâbaby, Iâm so close,â he panted, voice ragged, eyes half-lidded and wild, âI should pull out, shit, I didnât even askââ
You shook your head fast, nails digging into his shoulders as you kept riding him, âItâs a safe day,â you gasped, lips brushing his, âI want you inside. Donât pull out, please.â
Jakeâs breath hitched hard, like the words alone almost broke him, âI canât ever deny you anything, my love,â he groaned, ânot when you ask me like that.â
He slammed up into you twice, burying himself deep as he came with a wrecked moan of your name, loud enough to reverberate, hips jerking as he spilled hot and thick inside you. The feeling of him pulsing, filling you, pushed you over right afterâyou clenched around him hard, thighs shaking, a broken cry of his name leaving your lips.
For a long moment you both just stayed there, trembling. Jake didnât pull out, wrapping both arms around you and flipping you gently onto your back so he could hover over you, still buried deep, bodies pressed together with no space left. His chest heaved against yours, sweat-slick skin sticking, heartbeat slamming so hard you could feel it through your ribs.
He didnât speak at first. He just looked at you, eyes glassy and a little wide like he still couldnât believe this was real. Then he started kissing every mark heâd left on you tonightâthe dark bruise on your inner thigh, the ones on your neck, the one just above your breast. Each kiss was slow, open-mouthed, his nose caressing your skin, warm breath fanning over the fresh hickeys like he was memorizing them with his mouth.
You carded your fingers through his damp hair, letting him take his time.
âI was so ready to beg on my knees tonight if thatâs what it took,â he finally whispered against your collarbone, âdonât ever make me do that again.â
You let out a soft, breathless laugh, still a little dazed, âI wouldnât mind seeing you on your knees, actually.â
Jake lifted his head, eyes meeting yours, he leaned in and pecked your lips once, letting it linger before he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed like he needed the contact more than air.
âBrat,â he murmured, the word warm and fond against your mouth, but the way he said it was so full of quiet, desperate attachment it made your chest tighten. He stayed like that, still inside you, arms wrapped around you, one hand gently stroking up and down your back while the other traced lazy circles over the pendant now warm against your skin.Â
âI love you,â he finally said, cupping your cheek.Â
âI love you,â you smiled, letting him be as clingy as he wanted to be.Â
âWanna make a bet?â Jake asked, eyes gleaming as you raised your brow.Â
You laughed under your breath, thumb brushing his bottom lip. âDepends. What are we betting on this time?â
He grinned, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth, âthat Iâll spend the rest of my life proving this was the best bad idea we ever had.â
You smiled against his lips, pretending to think which only made him whine further. But maybe, this one was worth spending time over.Â
âBet.â
MEANWHILE:Â
Jay was repenting for Jakeâs sins, staring up at Jungwon, who still appeared to be dissatisfied, half pressed against the man who kept on mumbling, âsorry, Wonie. Iâm sorry Jungwonie, please?â
Jungwon only huffed, arms crossed tight even as Jay clung to him like an oversized koala, âyou knew about the whole stupid bet and didnât say a word. I had to watch my best friend get emotionally waterboarded for weeks.â
âI tried to stop it!â Jay whined, nuzzling his face into Jungwonâs shoulder, âI told Jake it was a terrible idea at least thirteen timesââ
âFourteen,â Sunghoon and Heeseung deadpanned from the couch.
Jaemin, already sprawled in the armchair rocking a fresh black eye and split lip, let out a smug little snort, ârelax, you babies. I was trying to get them together.â
Jeno, sitting on the floor looking two seconds from committing murder, dragged a hand down his face, âthey didnât even fucking know each other, Jaemin.â
Jaemin shrugged, completely unfazed, âbut I saw the bigger picture.â
Heeseung threw a pillow at his head, âthere were better ways, you absolute menace.â
Jaemin dodged it with a grin, âyeah, but none as entertaining.â He popped a chip in his mouth and asked casually, ânow who do I do next?â
The entire room exploded at once.
âNo.â
âFuck no.â
âTouch another person and Iâm punching you this time.â
âI swear to God, Jaeminââ
Jaemin just laughed, raising his hands like he was innocent, âfine. Jayâs next.â
The poor guy looked up in horror.Â
âAbsolutely the fuck not,â Jungwon snapped, yanking Jay behind him like a human shield who only blushed at the display of power, âyou stay the hell away from him, Jaemin. End of discussion.â
GENRE/CW: fluff, smut, angst, porn with plot, dom!sunghoon, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (fem receiving), fingering, marking, dry humping, slight choking, making out, squirting, multiple orgasms, mentions of jealousy, possessiveness. hoon is clumsy and unnaturally strong, mentions of nicknames, mentions of jake, jay, hee, won, karina, lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 29.8k words
SYNOPSIS: when the universityâs untouchable campus god accidentally walks into a doorframe the literal second he lays eyes on you, you realize the rumors about park sunghoon being a smooth player are completely fabricated. now, you get a front-row seat to him desperately trying to follow a ten-step wikiHow guide on how to flirt, except you start to think that his clumsy, pathetic devotion is the most attractive thing you have ever seen.
A/N: hihi loves <3 i know it has been a rough few days for us all, i hope this lewser (affectionate) hoon makes you all feel a lil better, take care angels <3
STEP ONE: Introductions by identity theft  Â
Park Sunghoon prides himself on being calm and composed.Â
At least thatâs what he tells himself, if you generously take out the part where heâs clumsy, socially catastrophic, and possesses the spatial awareness of a newborn puppy on ice. To the Uni at large, heâsâwell, a concept? The campus god, as wattpad core as it sounds, he simply makes it seem that way. The guy who sits in the back of lecture halls looking bored and devastatingly handsome, presumably thinking about complex philosophical theories or his next modeling gig (he doesnât have any).Â
In reality, heâs usually just thinking about whether it is going to rain or stressing over the fact that he held the door open for someone slightly too early, forcing them to do that awkward little run-walk, they were grateful regardless. Itâs a fragile ecosystem, really. A reputation built entirely on the fact that he doesnât talk enough for people to realize heâs actually a massive loser.
Only Sim Jaeyun knew the truth, along with Jay and Heeseung but yeah. Jake knew that Sunghoon isnât brooding, rather, heâs buffering (as sad as that is). He knows that his oh so cold, mysterious silence is just Sunghoonâs brain playing elevator music (Wii party soundtrack preferably) while he tries to figure out how to function like a human being.Â
But tonight, Sunghoon feels good, he feels capable somehow. Heâs wearing his favorite gray sweatpants, Jay is making pasta and garlic bread, and the dorm smells like home in the best way possible. He has one jobâbring the cups to the living room. Jake had been going on about inviting a chaotic duo he came across at a gaming cafe, who absolutely destroyed him during gaming but that eventually led to him aggressively adopting them into his life out of sheer respect for the carry later.
Sunghoon peels the plastic sleeve off the stack of red Solo cups with a satisfying crinkle, feeling that same surge of confidence, headphones playing his favourite EsDeeKid song (Palaces), letting him vibe, completely blocking out the chatter and laughter outside. He steps out of the kitchenette, the bass in his ears vibrating through his skull, making him feel momentarily infinite. He is the main character in a very low-stakes indie movie, he is cool, he is ready to perceive and be perceived, or so he thinks.
And then his eyes land on the center of the living room, and the soundtrack in his head comes to a screeching, violent-ish halt. He expects noiseâhe can see Jakeâs mouth moving rapidly, gesturing with a ladle like a weaponâbut he doesnât expect you.
You are already there, claiming the space in a way that makes the cramped dorm room feel suddenly, terrifically bright. Youâre standing near the beat-up sofa, one sneaker kicked off and overturned on the rug, looking comfortably disheveled in a way that art directors spend hours trying to replicate. Youâre in the middle of laughing at something another one of your friends said, and he doesnât know his name yetâa full-bodied, head-thrown-back kind of laugh that Sunghoon canât hear over his music but can feel in his chest anyway.
You look effortless, like you didnât even try, yet somehow succeeded more than anyone else in the room. Youâre wearing a simple white tank top tucked into vintage denim that fits perfectly, with a leather jacket slipping casually off one shoulder. Your hair is loose, framing a face that is currently lit up with pure, unadulterated joy, and your eyes are crinkled shut with mirth.
Sunghoonâs brain, usually a well-oiled machine of anxiety, simplyâstops. The music fades into static, and his calm and composed narrative dissolves. Oh, he thinks, his grip on the plastic stack tightening until it crunches. Wow.
He is so busy processing the sudden, violent realization that you might be the prettiest thing he has ever seen that he forgets a fundamental rule of Newtonian physics, Pauli Exclusion Principle: two solid objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
One of those objects is his broad, unsuspecting shoulder, the other is the wooden doorframe, and thereâs a loud sound of collisionâa bone-jarring impact that cuts right through his noise-canceling headphones and jolts his entire skeleton from the teeth down. The shockwave travels instantly to his hands, and the stack of red cups, liberated by the violence of the collision, explodes outward like plastic fireworks. They rain down onto the carpet in a chaotic, clattering cacophony that seems to echo for ten years, at least for Sunghoon.
Sunghoon freezes, vibrating with pain, staring blankly at a single red cup spinning sadly near his big toe. Slowly and painfully, he slides his headphones down to his neck. The room has gone dead silent.
The friend you were laughing withâthe one with the cat-like eyes, stops mid-sentence, his mouth hanging open. Jake blinks slowly from the couch, profound confusion etched into his features. And youâyou turn slowly, eyes wide, the laughter still lingering on your face as you take in the tragedy of the cups and the man currently trying to merge with the drywall.
âHoly shit,â the friend breaks the silence, abandoning his game to lean over the back of the couch, âyou good, dude?â
Sunghoon stays very still, he is waiting for one of two things to happenâeither for the floorboards to mercifully open up and swallow him whole, or for his body to spontaneously combust from the sheer, blinding force of his own humiliation. Neither happens, instead, the throbbing ache in his shoulder radiates down his arm, a dull, pulsing reminder that he is not, in fact, the protagonist of a cool indie film, he is a hazard.
Say something, his brain screams, make a joke, be charming. Recover for fucks sake.Â
âIâm good,â Sunghoon manages, though his voice comes out about three octaves higher than usual. He clears his throat, âIâmâyeah. Totally fine. Justâslipped.â
âYou slipped?â The friendâJungwon, he remembers Jake calling himâasks, eyebrows shooting up, âinto the doorframe? Vertically?â
âThe carpet,â Sunghoon says, pointing an accusing finger at the perfectly standard rug, âitâs deceptive man.â
From the floor, a soft snort erupts, Itâs you. You arenât looking at him with pity, which is what he expects. Youâre grinningâa wide, genuine expression that scrunches your noseâand before Sunghoon can process the movement, youâve dropped to a crouch in front of him to help with the plastic disaster zone.
âDeceptive carpet,â you repeat, the corner of your mouth twitching as you reach for a cup that rolled near his ankle.Â
Sunghoonâs ears are burning. He can feel the heat spreading down his neck, violent and undeniable. He drops to his knees out of a desperate need to avoid looking at Jake, who is currently burying his face in a cushion.
âRight, physics,â you drawl, and your voice is warm, teasing in a way that makes his stomach do a weird flip. You hand him a stack of cups youâve gathered, âwell, try not to fight any more inanimate objects tonight, okay? The dorm deposit is expensive.â
Your fingers brush against his knuckles as you pass the stack. His skin practically zaps where you touched him. Sunghoon flinches like heâs been electrocuted, nearly dropping the cups all over again. He looks up, terrified, and finds your face inches from his. Up close, youâre even intimidatingly prettier. You smell like vanilla and leather, and your eyes are dancing.
âIâm Y/N, by the way,â you say easily, sitting back on your heels.Â
Sunghoon stares at you. He knows he needs to respond. The social contract dictates that he provides his own name in return, it is a simple exchange. Input: Name. Output: Name. But his brain is currently running on a backup generator powered by a single, terrified hamster, and gosh the hamster is tired.
âUh,â Sunghoon starts, his voice cracking a little, then he clears his throat, âY/N.â
He nods, âRight, youâre Y/N.â
You look at him, waiting.
âIâmââ Sunghoon trails off, looking at your eyes, they are very pretty. He looks at your mouth, youâre smiling, âIâmâY/N?â He stops, eyes widening. No, that is incorrect.
âI meanââ He waves a hand frantically, nearly knocking over the stack of cups he just rescued, âYouâre Y/N! Iâm Sunghoon. Yeah. Yeahâyouâre Sunghoon and Iâm Y/Nâwait.â
He freezes. The sentence hangs in the air between you, defying all logic, space, and time. Did I just steal her identity? The silence that follows is loud. Behind him, he hears Jungwon choke on a laugh, disguising it as a cough. Jake just sighs, a long, mournful sound of a man who has given up on his roommate entirely, and Heeseung doesnât bother hiding his jolly laugh.Â
You blink at him. Then, slowly, that grin widens until it takes up your whole face.
âWeâre swapping?â You ask, delighted, âokayâIâve always wanted to be tall.â
Sunghoon feels his soul attempting to leave his body through his ears, he stands up, he stands up way too fast. His knees pop, adding a nice, crunchy soundtrack to his humiliation.
âI have to wash these,â he announces to the room at large, voice dangerously monotone.
âThey were in a plastic sleeve,â Jake points out from the couch, finally turning around to witness the wreckage, âtheyâre clean bro.â
âDust!â Sunghoon yells. He doesnât look back, he canât, âyou canât see it, but itâs there. Itâs everywhere!â
He turns on his heel and flees. There is no other word for it, he practically speed-walks back into the safety of the kitchenette, shoulders hunched up to his ears, clutching the red cups to his chest, leaving the echo of his dignityâand his nameâbehind on the living room rug. He rounds the corner, out of sight, and immediately presses his forehead against the cool stainless steel of the fridge. He squeezes his eyes shut, his chest heaving like he just ran a marathon.
âHeâs usuallyâuhâheâs usually not like this,â he hears Jake say in the other room, sounding apologetic.
âHeâs funny,â you reply, and Sunghoon can hear the smile in your voice, âI like him.â
Sunghoon slides down the front of the fridge until he hits the floor, all while he buries his burning face in his hands. He is absolutely, irrevocably doomed.
âYou good down there?â
Sunghoon peels one eye open, Jay is standing above him, holding a pair of tongs, staring at him with the blank, unimpressed expression of a man who has seen too much.
âI live here,â Sunghoon says to the ceiling, his voice hollow, âI pay rent, I have a 3.8 GPA. Why canât I say my own name?â
âNerves,â Jay says, flipping a piece of garlic bread, âalso, you told her she was you. That was fucking insane.â
âShut up, Jay.â
Sunghoon groans and scrambles up. He looks at the stack of cups in his hand, they are perfectly clean, but he washes them anyway. He turns on the tap and aggressively scrubs the brand-new plastic with the intensity of a surgeon scrubbing in for a heart transplant, just to buy himself thirty more seconds of isolation. Get it together, he coaches himself, staring at his reflection in the dark window above the sink.Â
You are Park Sunghoon, you have a twelve-step skincare routine, you know how to parallel park, you are a functional member of society who definitely knows who he is.
He dries his hands, he fixes his hair in the reflection of the microwave, he takes a deep breath that does absolutely nothing to lower his heart rate, and marches back out. The vibe in the living room has shifted. In the three minutes he was gone, you have seamlessly integrated into the environment of the dorm. Youâre sitting cross-legged on the rug now, stealing garlic bread from Jakeâs plate.Â
You look comfortable, annoyingly so, considering Sunghoon currently feels like his skin is made of itchy wool and his bones are made of glass. He walks over, moving stiffly, trying to be as aerodynamic as possible to avoid hitting any other stationary objects. He sets the slightly-damp cups down on the coffee table with a thud.
âAll clean now,â he announces.Â
You look up, and you donât laugh this time, but the corner of your mouth twitches, scooting over slightly on the rug, patting the empty space next to you, wondering what was going in the head of this pretty boy.
âSaved you a spot,â you say easily.
Sunghoonâs brain does that static thing again, he walks over stiffly, like a toy soldier, and lowers himself onto the rug. He sits carefully, hyper aware of everything, of you.Â
âThanks,â he manages and it comes out deeper than he intended, almost gruff. Great. Now he sounds like a grumpy toddler.
You tear a piece off the garlic bread in your handâthe one you definitely stole, and offer it to him, âhere, eat something, youâre practically vibrating.â
Sunghoon stares at the bread, then at you, âIâm not vibrating.â
âYou are,â you insist, pressing the bread into his hand, âeat a lilâ.â
Sunghoon takes it. He has to, really, because your fingers are brushing his palm and his brain has decided that obeying you is the only way to survive, and your fingers are soft, very soft.Â
âIâm calm,â he lies, taking a bite. Itâs cold, but he chews it with interest.Â
âUh-huh,â you grin, leaning back on your hands, your leather jacket creaking softly, âso, Park Sunghoon, besides forgetting your own identity, what do you do?âÂ
Sunghoon swallows, he wipes a crumb from his lip, trying to regain some semblance of the mysterious aura he allegedly has, âI exist,â he says, trying for deadpan humor, âI listen to music. I tolerate Jake.â
âA noble calling,â you laugh, âIâve only known him for a week and Iâm already exhausted.â
âJungwon, remove her from the group chat,â Jake deadpans, looking at him straight in the eye.Â
Jungwon looks his way, then your way before nodding, âletâs remove Jake.âÂ
You both chuckled as Jake let out a gasp, launching a throw pillow that hits Jungwon square in the chest while Heeseung groans, âso no one added me to the chat, huh?âÂ
Sunghoon doesnât care, heâs zoned out as Jay joins the group with his freshly made mac and cheese truffle, and the room immediately devolves into a clamor of grabbing hands, Jungwon and Jake temporarily calling a truce to eat, and add a now very jolly Hee to the group chat. Sunghoon, however, has his undivided attention on you, he watches through his peripheral vision, as you lean forward to inspect the pot, the movement causes your leather jacket to slip further down your arm, he gulps at the sight.Â
A nudge almost sends him into orbit, head snapping at your face with mouth wide open, and youâre looking at him with your brow raised, a bowl in your hand, âyou okay?â You asked, and he nodded mindlessly, and you were genuinely confused now.Â
You hand him the bowl, fingers brushing and heâs pretty sure his ears have turned red by now, but youâre not teasing him, and he likes how you simply just fit in here, âeat up, hm?â
âThanks, yeah,â he mutters, looking down at the pasta, and it makes you smile at him fondly, before Jakeâs groan interrupts you as he practically cries watching the cricket match on TV.
Jay sits behind you on the couch, starts talking about the history of this gameâwhich only Jungwon pays attention to somehow, and then he stops to observe the room. His gaze drifts from the television screen to the floor, he watches you settle back against the couch cushions, then, his eyes slide to the person sitting next to you.
Sunghoon isnât watching the match really. Jay watches as Sunghoon stares at the side of your profile for a beat too long. Then, Sunghoon looks down at the bowl in his lap. A small, shy smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, itâs something soft and entirely unguarded. And then, as if his brain has just caught up with what his face is doing, Sunghoon freezes. He just stops moving completely, his smile vanishing into a look of sheer, silent panic.
Jay pauses, his fork hovering halfway to his mouth. He looks at you, completely unbothered, he looks back at Sunghoon, who is currently staring at a piece of macaroni. Jay closes his eyes, he sighs, a long, heavy exhale.
âOh no.â
STEP TWO: Prolonged realization
It had been four days since you had dinner at Jakeâs place, four days since you met Sunghoon, four days since you took Jayâs tupperware as he packed some pasta for you, Jungwon, and your friend Karina.Â
To be honest, you hadn't expected to see Park Sunghoon again so soon, mostly because Jungwon had reported that he was currently in hibernation to recover from the sheer embarrassment of introducing himself as you. Youâd caught glimpses of him on campus, but he was always in a rush somehow with his long strides.Â
âIf you donât return these,â Jungwon had told you ten minutes ago, dumping the heavy glass tower into your arms, âJay is going to skin me, likeâitâs just tupperware.â
So, here you were, standing in the hallway of the boysâ dorm, smelling faintly of rain and balancing a stack of glass containers, knocking on the door, expecting Jay to open the door, only to find a very cozy looking Sunghoon.Â
He looked completely different from the guy youâd seen walking around campus. He was wearing a massive gray hoodie and wire-rimmed glasses that were sliding down his nose, and he was holding a piece of peanut butter toast in one hand. He looked soft, sleepy, and very much at home. He blinked at you, clearly surprised, with his cheeks still puffed out from a bite of toast.
âOh,â he mumbled, swallowing hard, âhi!â
âHi,â you smiled, adjusting the heavy stack in your arms, âjust here to return these, Jay was getting impatient you see. I also made cookies cause itâs not nice to give back empty containers,â you mumbled, eyes on Sunghoonâs molesâthey looked pretty.Â
He stepped forward to help, reaching out with both hands, clearly forgetting the peanut butter toast in his right hand, which slipped and fell on the ground with a wet thwap. Sunghoon stared down at the rug, his shoulders slumping in instant, silent defeat.
âI literally just made that,â he whispered, looking genuinely pained.
âRIP,â you murmured, biting back a laugh at how tragic he looked over a slice of bread, âthe five-second rule is a little risky with carpet, though.â
âYeah,â he sighed, crouching down immediately to peel the sticky mess off the floor, âJay just vacuumed, too. Iâm dead.â
âHere.â You shifted the stack to one hip, crouching down to hand him a tissue from your pocket.
He took the tissue, âthanks,â he mumbled, ears turning red yet again. He stood up, tossing the ruined toast in the bin by the door, then finally turned back to take the heavy stack of containers from you properly. He carefully set the stack on the narrow entryway table. He stared at the top container for a second, seemingly processing the fact that there were actual baked goods inside.
âYou really didnât have to do that,â he said, rubbing the back of his neck.Â
âFigured youâd like something other than pasta,â you smiled, cause apparently thatâs all what they ate.Â
âI swear,â Hoon laughed, and it was cute, âitâs usually good but he uses so much basil, and itâs always penne.â
âWhatâs wrong with penne?â
âI just like fusilli better,â he mumbled, now aware of how heâs making you stand, âwaitâdo you wannaâlike, come in?âÂ
âI would love to, but I have a lecture inââ you checked your phone, âtwenty one minutes.â
He frowned for a second before nodding in understanding, âoh yeah, sorry. You should go, we can hang out some other time.â He looked so crestfallen, standing there in his oversized hoodie with his hands tucked into the sleeves, that you couldnât help yourself. You took a step closer instead of backing away.
âHey, Sunghoon?â
âYeah?â He blinked, straightening up, looking at you with those wide, attentive eyes.
âHold still.â
Before he could ask why, you reached out. His hair was a messâprobably from the hoodie, or maybe heâd been napping before you knockedâand there was a piece sticking straight up in the back like an antenna. Sunghoon froze, he almost stopped breathing as your fingers brushed against his hair, smoothing down the lock. His hair was soft, softer than it looked. You let your hand linger for a split second longer than necessary, your knuckles grazing the shell of his ear.
âBedhead,â you murmured, pulling your hand back, scrunching your nose with how adorable he looked. Sunghoon didnât move, simply staring at you as he gulped, his ears turning red (again) that clashed horribly with his gray hoodie.Â
It was hard for him to keep his mind elsewhere even when you had taken your leave, especially when he tasted those double chocolate chip cookiesâmoaning with how perfect they were, crispy on the edges and softer in the middle. He was embarrassed, acting like a schoolboy with a crush, but he told himself it wasnât that, he simply liked you as a person.Â
So, when he met you again when the group decided to go out for dinner near the campus, he swore heâd be normal around you, maintaining some distance to not embarrass himself any further.Â
When they arrived at the barbecue spot, the air thick with smoke and chatter, Sunghoon spotted you immediately. You were standing by the entrance with Jungwon and your other friend, laughing at something he said, wearing a simple dress that shouldnât have looked nearly as good as it did. Donât stare, he told himself, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. Say hi. Be cool.
âHey guys,â you beamed as they approached, your eyes landing on him.
âHey,â Sunghoon managed, keeping his voice painfully neutral. He offered a stiff nod, barely making eye contact before pivoting toward the empty table.Â
He made a beeline for the corner seat, the one furthest from where he assumed youâd sit. He was halfway there when Jungwon threw his backpack down.
âIâm taking the wall!â Jungwon announced, diving into the booth and dragging Jake with him.
âI need the aisle to grill,â Jay declared, blocking the other side.
Sunghoon froze cause the geometry of the table was rapidly collapsing against him. Karina (your other friend slash roomie) slid in next to Jay. That left one spotâthe middle, right next to the aisle. Right next toâ
âCan I sit here?â You asked, appearing at his elbow with a grin.
He stiffened, his brain short-circuiting. He hurriedly shimmied into the booth, pressing his thigh against Jakeâs so hard that Jake grunted, âdude, personal space.â
âSorry,â Sunghoon muttered, staring straight ahead at the metal grill.
You slid in beside him, arm brushing against his, the friction sending a jolt straight up his spine. You smelled like vanilla and the rain from earlier, a scent that was quickly becoming his favorite thing to panic over.
âDid you like the cookies?â You asked, eyes shining in hope.Â
And goshâhe did. He almost forgot about the protein diet he was planning and ate four of your cookies in a go, saving some for later as well. Not to mention how he fought Jake for the last cookieâwho was running away teasing Hoon about his newly developed crush, which resulted in Jake being in his chokehold.Â
âThey were really good,â he managed to say sincerely.Â
âHe snatched the cookies from me,â Jake added helpfully, which surprised you pleasantly, much to Hoonâs dismay who didnât want Jake to open his damn mouth.Â
You liked it, liked seeing him panic, it made him look like a lost puppy. It was clear how he was trying to avoid more conversations about you, especially since he shoved a piece of meat in Jakeâs mouth each time he tried to talk to you, so you focused back on Heeseung and Karina, who were debating about the new albums and rating them.Â
Even while doing so, your attention kept diverting to Sunghoon and Jay discussing Maillardâs reaction for the perfect cooking of meat. He was so comfortable talking to others, not stuttering once, and he had nice hands, such nice and big and veiny handsâa kick from under the table made you wince, and you looked up to see Karina winking at you, eyes drifting to Sunghoon, which made you roll your eyes, cause sureâhe was cute, but he didnât even wish to talk to you (he just wanted to survive dinner). And somehow, that distracted you more than youâd like to admit. By the time the bill was paid, the night air had cooled down, and Jay insisted on driving you back home, granted you all lived in the dorms.Â
Sunghoon could see where this was going, especially the way Karina and Jungwon headed to the backseat, Jay took the driverâs seat, Jake naturally opting for the shotgun, which left you, Heeseung, and Sughoon in the middle seating area. Heeseung didnât bother waiting, sliding in and putting his headphones on. That left the middle seat and the seat closest to the door.
âAfter you,â Sunghoon said, his voice a little tight. He held the door open, gesturing for you to climb in.
You slid into the middle seat, settling against the upholstery. Sunghoon hesitated for a fraction of a second, staring at the empty space beside you before he finally climbed in and pulled the door shut. With Heeseung passed out against the far window and Jake shouting at the radio in the front, the back seat felt like a private, terrifyingly intimate bubble, more so when Jake decided they should take a detour and take a longer ride.Â
Jay pulled out of the parking lot, and the car merged into the evening traffic, and by traffic, it was practically a congestion, which made you groan considering how sleepy you felt, âI hate this intersection, itâs always a mess I swear.âÂ
Sunghoon cleared his throat, âthe civil engineers set the green light duration for the turn lane too short relative to the main avenueâs volume honestly. It creates a bottleneck every time the cycle resets. If they just added four seconds to the north-bound signal, this entire congestion would clear in no time.â
You looked at him, his skin shining under the dim lights, âyou figured that out by just looking at it?âÂ
He just shrugged, wondering if he should have let his mouth shut, cause you probably think heâs even more of a nerd now.Â
âYou know,â you said, a soft smile tugging at your lips, âyouâre actually really smart, Sunghoon.â
That actually hit him hard, he expected you to call him a nerd, instead, you were looking at him with genuine admiration, your eyes reflecting the passing city lights. He opened his mouth to respond, but his brain stalled. He settled for a strangled nod, quickly turning his face toward the window to hide the fact that his neck was rapidly heating up. The rest of the ride was a blur of brake lights and the rhythmic thump-thump of the windshield wipers. The warmth of the car, combined with the heavy meal, eventually pulled you under. As Jay navigated the final turn toward the dorms, your head lulled to the side, landing softly on Sunghoonâs shoulder.
He went rigid instantly, he stopped breathing actually. He didnât move a single muscle, not even to adjust his arm which was starting to go numb from the angle. If he didn't like you, he would have politely nudged you awake or shifted away. Instead, he sat there, a statue in a damp hoodie, terrified that even a single exhale would disturb you, staring at how pretty you looked even as you slept, so comfortable around him.
He wanted to kiss you, he wished to kiss your forehead, and that should have been the sign, but he didnât, opting to stare like a lovesick puppy who couldnât admit he was catching feelings. It wasnât really convenient how he wondered if youâd be just as perfect under him, would you curl up? Pull him closer? Would you want him to touch you?
And he kept on acting like an invisible man after, simply because you woke up and thanked him with that pretty smile of yours, and if it were to get any further Sunghoon swore he would not be able to survive it, not when all his friends were whistling at the fact that Sunghoon could pull someone even with his endearing loser ways.
The invisible act stayed for long, leading to the mid semester exams, which meant that Sunghoon had successfully managed to keep it together for nearly two months since that night, which made him feel proud for handling it so well, or so he thought, until the night before the final major midterm.
The library doors swung open, revealing a torrential downpour, making the group groan in unisonâexcept for Sunghoon, who had checked three different weather apps and was clutching a sturdy black umbrella.
Logic dictated he open it. Logic dictated he offer to walk you to your dorm, sharing the small space under the canopy. But Sunghoon looked at you, shivering in your oversized sweater, and his brain supplied a vivid image of your shoulders brushing for ten whole minutes, so well, panic overrode survival instincts.
âHere,â he blurted out, shoving the umbrella handle into your chest, âcover Jungwon and Karina, Itâs big enough for the group.â
âWhat? Sunghoon, waitââ
âI have to run!â He announced, his voice cracking.
Before you could argue, he turned and sprinted into the deluge, instantly soaking his hoodie as he splashed through the puddles while Jay and Jake watched with absolute disbelief on their faces, staring at each other and sighing, agreeing that Hoon was indeed down bad, and even worse at pretending to be normal about it.Â
Behind you, Jungwon watched Sunghoonâs retreating figure, then looked at you as you immediately popped the umbrella open and bolted after him, leaving the rest of the group dry but abandoned.
âIdiots in denial,â Jungwon muttered, shaking his head as he pulled his jacket over his head, âI hate it here.â
Sunghoon made it halfway across the quad before the rain stopped hitting him. He skid to a halt, chest heaving, and looked up to see the black umbrella hovering over his head. He turned slowly to find you standing there, slightly out of breath and holding the umbrella over him, your own shoulder getting wet in the process.
âYou are ridiculous, Park Sunghoon,â you laughed, though your eyes were soft, âwho runs in the rain to avoid sharing an umbrella?â
Sunghoon stared at you, and god you were close, you were wet. You were smiling at him like he was the only person in the world. He was absolutely, irrevocably doomed as you walked him to the dorms, when he insisted on dropping you first, which he did.Â
What he didnât expect was the hug you gave him, âthanks Hoon,â youâd mumbled into his ear, god you smelled so good, you were so warm, and fit perfectly into his hug, smiling brightly before heading inside without any care of Jungwon and Karina.Â
The hug, the smile, the way you used his nicknameâyeah, Sunghoon wasnât sure how he was still breathing, and it was comical how he stood there for five minutes even after youâd gone inside, poor man was broken, and now there wasnât any room for denial.Â
Later that night, shivering in his dorm room and wrapped in three blankets, Sunghoon stared at his ceiling with wide, terrified eyes. He fished his laptop out of his bag and typed with trembling fingers:
WikiHow: How to flirt with a pretty girl (with pictures).Â
STEP THREE: Establish eye contact (like a normal person)
Sunghoon thought he was safe, that closing his laptopâs lid was enough when he went out to get some water before taking a shower, but boy he couldnât have been more wrong. He walked into the living room with a towel still around his waist after the shower, only to find Heeseung staring at a MacBook with intense focus, but waitâwas that his MacBook? Of fucking course, Jay and Jake were there as well, shoulders shaking with silent, violent laughter. Sunghoon froze in the doorway, water dripping from his hair onto the carpet, witnessing the exact moment his social life turned into a tragedy.
âIs thatâis that a step-by-step guide?â Jake wheezed, tears streaming down his face as he pointed a trembling finger at the screen.
Heeseung cleared his throat, reading from the screen like a news anchor, âWikiHow: How to flirt with a pretty girl. With pictures. It says here: Smile to show you are approachable.â
âItâs not what it looks like,â Sunghoon yelled, his voice cracking two octaves. He lunged across the room, nearly losing his towel, but Jay blocked his path with a shit-eating grin.
âDoesnât matter anyway,â Jay sighed, shaking his head with mock sympathy, âJungwon will kill you.â
Sunghoon froze, the color draining from his face, âwait, why?â
âCause he likes Y/N,â Heeseung said, keeping his face perfectly straight.
âHe what now?â Sunghoon whispered, his voice barely audible.
âYeah,â Jake added, nodding solemnly, âtheyâre in love. Havenât you noticed? The bickering? Itâs their thing.â
Sunghoon looked like he had just been shot in the chest. His shoulders slumped, his lips parted in shock, and he stared at the floor with such profound, soul-shattering devastation that the room went silent for a full second. He looked small, wet, and utterly defeated, all while being in his towel, abs out and everything.
âOh my god,â Jay burst out laughing, hitting Heeseungâs arm, âweâre kidding! You canât even be jealous without looking like a kicked puppy.â
Sunghoon scoffed, eyes teary, his soul slowly returning to his body as the realization hit, âI hate you, all of you,â he hissed, snatching his laptop and fleeing to the safety of his locked room.
He didnât know if it would work, but he wished to try anyway, no more running away, which is why he opened the MacBook yet again to go over the steps, preparing himself for the first one, sighing and smiling over the fact that you and Jungwon werenât actually dating, but that didnât mean youâd be single for too long, hence, he needs to start step one right after the exams are done. Just like that, Hoon was more focused on the plan rather than the exam, but he was pretty sure he aced it anyway, what he lacked was practical skills, not theory.
The exams came and went, leaving everyone with varying degrees of sleep deprivation, and a desperate need for greasy food. Which is how, mere hours after the final paper was submitted, you all found yourselves crammed into a sticky booth at the campus pub for the weekly Tuesday Trivia Night. You were sitting directly across from Sunghoon, stealing fries from Jungwonâs plate while arguing about the best Mario Kart track (toad harbour). Sunghoon, however, wasnât listening. He was mentally rehearsing. He had spent the last three days memorizing Step 1: Make Eye Contact.
The article said: Lock eyes with her for a few seconds to show youâre interested. Donât look away first. Be bold.
He took a deep breath, gripped his pint glass until his knuckles turned white, and initiated the sequence. He looked at you while you were laughing at something Jake said, your head thrown back, looking effortless and bright against the dim pub lighting. Sunghoon locked on, staring with intense focus. You paused, a fry hovering halfway to your mouth, sensing the weight of his gaze. You blinked, confused, but Sunghoon didnât look away. Hold the gaze, his brain screamed, assert dominance.
âHoon?â You asked, using the nickname again.
Sunghoon didnât answer, he couldnât, he was too busy counting the seconds. Then, you did the one thing WikiHow hadnât really prepared him for, you didnât look away shyly, rather, you leaned in.
You placed your elbows on the sticky table and leaned forward, bringing your face alarmingly close to his, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.
âYouâre staring, Park,â you lowered your voice, teasing him, âand here I thought you were ignoring me.â
âI wasnât ignoring you,â he blurted, maintaining that eye contact, âitâs kind of hardâto ignore you.â
The playful smirk dropped from your face as you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden honesty in his tone, which was needed especially when you did spend a gracious amount of time complaining to Karina about how you shouldnât have hugged Sunghoon cause he had started ignoring you. He wasnât stuttering now, wasnât looking elsewhere, just into your eyesâwhich he finds really pretty.
âOh,â you breathed, the teasing edge now vanished, leaning back as you felt the faint heat creeping up your neck, matching his own.
âOkay, question one!â The host bellowed, successfully helping Sunghoon escape the situation.
Sunghoon exhaled a breath he didnât know he was holding. He had survived Step 1, but he was pretty sure heâd lost a few years of his life in the process. Then the game started, and Sunghoon forgot about the steps entirely, he just watched you. You were a force of nature, especially when the category switched to 2000s Pop Culture, you were unstoppable.
âShrek 2!â You yelled before the host finished the quote.
âCorrect!â
You high-fived Jake so hard the table shook, and Sunghoon wished he was there instead of Jake. You were competitive, loud, and brilliant. Sunghoon didnât answer a single question, he just sat there, nursing his drink, tracking your every movement. He watched the way you bit your lip when you were thinking, and the way your eyes crinkled shut when you laughed at Jakeâs wrong answers, who was way too competitive for his own good.
âOuagadougou!â You shouted for the geography round, slamming your hand on the table.
âHow do you know everything?â Jungwon asked, looking at you with mild horror.
âI have a brain, Won,â you winked, shooting a glance across the table at Sunghoon, âsee? We won.â
Sunghoon felt his heart do a traitorous little flip. He didnât look away this time. He just smiled, a small, unguarded thing.
Sunghoon processed this as you all started hugging each other, victory being too sweet not to, and he waited patiently, not sure if you would even hug him, but he did stand up with flushed cheeks when you appeared in front of him, the height difference painfully apparent now, he had to look down, his dark hair falling over his eyes, while you had to tilt your head back to meet his gaze. Without overthinking it, you reached out and pulled him into a hug.
He turned into a literal pillar for a microsecond before the realization hit. Then, slowly, his arms wound around you, hesitant at first, then firm, pulling you into the warmth of his chest, and you could hear how fast his heart was beating as you leaned in, your chin resting on his shoulder. The noise of the pubâthe clinking glasses, Jakeâs loud laughter, the trivia hostâs droneâall felt miles away.
You let your hand slide up from his shoulder, your fingers grazing the soft hair at the nape of his neck. His breath hitched, a sharp, audible sound that told you exactly how much effect you were having, and you didnât mind, simply saying, âdonât be a stranger anymore, Hoonie.â
The nickname did it for him, and he practically shuddered under your touch, his knees actually buckling for a split second. He buried his face in the crook of your neck to hide the fact that his entire face was burning, inhaling sharply. He smelled like mango for some reason, and expensive cologne, but he was more focused on your scent.
âI wonât,â he rasped against your skin, âI promise.â
He held on for a second longer than intended, his fingers digging into the fabric of your sweater as if he were afraid youâd disappear if he let go. When you finally pulled back, stepping out of his personal space with a lingering smile, the loss of warmth hit him as he frowned. You waved at the group and walked out the door with Karina, who was more than ready to gossip about what had just happened, leaving the bell chiming in your wake.
Sunghoon stood frozen in the middle of the pub, his hand instinctively coming up to touch the back of his neck exactly where your fingers had been. He stared at the closed door for a full minute, unable to move, unable to think, his brain reduced to white noise and the echo of Hoonie.
âHeâs broken,â Jake announced, waving a hand in front of Sunghoonâs unblinking eyes, âwhich is fair though, he got called Hoonie.â
âDid you hear that voice crack?â Jay snickered.
Sunghoon didnât even hear them, just letting out a long, shaky exhale, his legs finally giving out as he collapsed back into the booth, burying his face in his hands.
âYou really are like Nobita, just smarter when it comes to studies,â Jake let out as Sunghoon glared at him.
âAnd Jungwon can be Doremon,â Heeseung laughed, âround head and all, yâknow?â
âShouldnât WikiHow be his Doremon though?â Jay asked looking at Jungwon who found the comment highly offensive.
âWikiHow?â He asked, and Jay told him the backstory, which had this man laughing like crazy, âOh, Iâm so telling this to Y/N.â
Now, that grabbed Hoonâs attention, who simply grabbed Jungwon and picked him up effortlessly despite him thrashing aroundâit was a funny sight, Hoon holding him up like a cat, âyou wont tell her anything,â he warned, and for the first time he realised the strength of this man.Â
âYeah, forgot to tell you heâs strong behind his loser persona,â Heeseung added.
Either way, Sunghoon was in trouble, because he couldnât sleep that night, and neither could Jungwon, who was contemplating joining gym now.
Hoon spent all night trying to plan his next step, and now he was prepared, he just had to find you.
STEP FOUR: Love is an open doorâopen it wider.
You were sitting with Karina at the campus coffee shop, finally resting after the exams were over, and right then your brows furrowed as you overheard two girls talking. Now, you werenât one to eavesdrop, however, they were talking about Sunghoonâgranting someone the best pleasure of their life? But he was with the whole group last night, so whatâs that even about? Karina was listening as well, genuinely concerned at the very obvious made up story.
âWhat is going on?â You asked Karina, and she shrugged.
âHe has this reputation of being this mysterious fuckboy, and people believe it cause no one really is close to him, sheâs faking it all,â she replied, sipping her iced coffee.
âWoah, what the fuck?â You scoffed, âhave they even seen how he looks like a puppy whoâs always confused?â
âYeah, they obviously donât know thatâbut hey, he could be wild in the sheets, we donât know that.â
You thought for a second, wondering if it could be true, because to you, Sunghoon seemed so sweet, almost like heâd be the softest, most loving man ever. Butâyou do wish to know what he was behind those oversized hoodies and shy smiles.
One of the girls smirked, going on about it, âno literally, he was wild last night, heâs got a big cock, and boy he knows exactly how to use it.â
You choked on your doughnut, Karina was amused seeing you like this, even more when the shop bell chimed, âdamn, speak of the devilâand is he wearing Prada?âÂ
You turned around, wiping sugar off your lip, and sure enough, there he was. Sunghoon stood in the doorway, clad in a long, structured trench coat over a sleek turtleneck, looking like heâd stepped straight off a runway (yeah, you wanted him in your bed now). The entire coffee shop seemed to dim in his presence. The two girls behind you gasped, clutching each otherâs arms.
âHeâs looking,â one whispered frantically, âact natural.â
Sunghoon, however, wasnât looking at them, scanning the room to find you, and he paused when he did. If Jake was there, he would practically see the WikiHow page loading in his brainâStep 2: Smile and be approachable. He tried to soften his face, but the nerves got the better of him. Instead of a gentle, welcoming smile, he pulled his lips back in a stiff, terrifyingly symmetrical grimace that made him look like he was bracing for an impact. He held the expression as he walked toward the counter to order his coffee as you sat there, confused.Â
âIs he okay?â You asked.
âDonât know, heâs always like that around you,â she said, and that made you smileâgetting a weird glance from Karina.Â
Sunghoon grabbed his iced Americano, took a deep breath to reset his expression, and walked over. He stopped in front of you, looking slightly thrown off by Karinaâs presence, but he played it cool.
âOh,â he said, his voice dropping to a smooth, feigned nonchalance, âfancy seeing you here.â
He absolutely did not mention that he had asked Jungwon for your location, and Jungwon absolutely didnât mention that you werenât alone.
He looked like he was about to retreat to a corner to brood over his failed smile, but you werenât about to let that happen. Not with the rumor mill churning behind you.
âHoon, wait,â you said, reaching out to snag the belt of his coat, tugging him closer.
Sunghoon froze, stumbling a step forward, looking down at you with wide, confused eyes, âyâyeah?â
âYou look absolutely exhausted,â you said, pitching your voice just loud enough for the table behind you to hear. You reached up, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead, letting your fingers linger against his skin, and he wasnât functioning anymore, that touch sending a shiver down his body and stopping right on his cock.Â
He fucking loved it when you touched him, your fingers were so gentle, so soft on his skin, and maybe you did like himâthatâs why you pulled him closer, right? He looked at you with wide eyes, dropping down to your lipgloss painted lips, which looked too inviting.Â
âTired from last night?â You asked, granting him a smile.Â
He almost fainted, cause it sounded as if you knew he was up all night staring at your photos from instagram, rolling around on his bed with a genuine smile. But how could you know that? So he simply nodded, thinking (hoping) you were referring to Trivia night.Â
âYeah, I meanâit did go on for a while, and you were amazing,â he nodded, leaning into your touch instinctively, praying his best to sound normal.Â
Behind him, the girls inhaled sharply, their imaginations clearly running wild. You smirked, knowing they were picturing a scandalous night while you were actually thinking about him being zoned out for most of the night, paying attention to the winning part only.Â
âYou kept up yknow? Thatâs impressive too,â you added helpfully even though he had not said a word during the trivia, patting his chest, not knowing how the poor man was sufferingâin a good way, âyou should rest, we were up really late.â
âIâyeah, it was worth it,â he said, looking down on the floor.Â
Karina was shaking her head with the biggest smile on her face, turning back to see the girls talking in hushed voices.Â
You chuckled, âokay, you should go rest now, bye Hoonie!â
He nodded, trying to give you another smile that looked veryâuh, scary? But he left, not having it in him to actually stay and talk when there was an audience (Karina), he kicked the random stones on the path as he walked and sat in the Uni park, unsure what had even happened.Â
âYou are a menace,â Karina whispered when he was gone.
âIâm just clarifying things,â you winked, taking a bite of your doughnut as the girls behind you sat in stunned, jealous silence as you both gathered your things and started walking towards the dorms.
It was then when you spotted Sunghoon sitting alone, and you stopped, âIâll catch you later,â you told her, and she followed your gaze, smirking at how obviously dumb the both of you were.
âTry not to break him this time, hm? Go get him, tiger,â she patted your back and you rolled your eyes, heading towards him, watching him tap his foot to some rhythm, staring ahead blankly.
You slid onto the bench next to him, nudging his knee with yours. Sunghoon jumped, his head snapping toward you. When he registered it was you, he immediately smiled, he had dressed up as well, granted WikiHow did say to dress up nicely and smell good, for which he ended up going to Jay for his perfume collection. He tried to smile, he really did, but he looked so endearingly awkward, you couldnât help but laugh at him.
âHoon, please,â you wheezed, reaching up to pull one side of his earpods away from his ear, âwhat are you doing?â
Sunghoonâs face crumbled instantly, the smile dropping into a pout of genuine despair. He slumped back against the bench, looking miserable.
âIâm trying to be approachable,â he groaned, his voice low and defeated. âI heard that I look mean when Iâm thinking. I didnât want you to think I wasâI donât know, unapproachable.â
âYou are unapproachable,â you pointed out, stealing the headphone cup youâd pulled off his ear and holding it to your own, âbut thatâs because you are handsome.â
âHuhâwhatââ
You didnât let him think much as you paused, grinning slightly, âwait. Are you listening toâis this Disney?"
Sunghoon froze. He snatched the EarPod back, his cheeks flushing, âno,â he lied immediately, âItâsâhard rock. Heavy metal, yeah.â
âSunghoon,â you grinned, leaning into his space, âthat was definitely love is an open door from Frozen.â
You didnât give him a chance to come up with another lie. You just smiled, leaned back against the bench as you grabbed the airpod yet again, wearing it, and you started singing early knowing heâd malfunction.Â
âI mean itâs crazyââ
Sunghoon froze, he stared at you, his mouth slightly agape. He looked around the park to see if anyone was watching, then looked back at you. You raised an eyebrow, challenging him. You knew he couldnât leave a verse unfinished. It was against his nature, even if he had to sing the female verse of it.
âWhat?â he whispered, the word slipping out involuntarily.Â
You grinned, leaning closer, your shoulder pressing against his, âwe finish each otherâsââ
Sunghoonâs eyes darted between your lips and your eyes, he fought it. You could see the physical struggle on his face as he tried to maintain his cool, but the music was swelling, and you were looking at him with that expectant, teasing light in your eyes.
âSandwiches!â He blurted out, perfectly on beat.
You gasped, delighted, placing a hand over your heart. âThatâs what I was gonna say!â
Sunghoon let out a defeated, incredulous laugh, but he didnât stopâhe couldnât. The two of you sat on the park bench, huddled together over a pair of earpods, quietly harmonizing the chorus while a squirrel watched judgmentally from a nearby tree.
âOur mental synchronization,â he sang, looking at you with a gaze that was too obvious, but you didnât catch it, âcan have but one explanation.â
âYou,â you sang, pointing a finger at him.
âAnd I,â he sang, pointing back, a small, genuine smile breaking through his embarrassment.
âWere just meant to be,â you both finished in unison.
Sunghoon let the final note hang in the air before he slumped forward, burying his face in his hands again. His ears were burning a bright crimson, âI canât believe I just did that,â he groaned into his palms, âIâm wearing a trench coat. Iâm supposed to be cool.â
âYouâre cool,â you said as he smiled, which made you stop, âhey, you have fangs,â you pointed it out and he got conscious, âdonât hide, your smile is pretty,â you mumbled, and he breathed out, smiling just for you, not thinking this time, as you leaned against his arm.
If Hoon thought yesterday was the best day of his life, he was wrong, cause with how carefree he felt with you in the moment, he swears this is the best day of his life.
Step: Smile at herâsuccessful.
STEP FIVE: Be a hero (by using your crush as a human shield).
You had been smiling way too much lately, and it irritated Jungwon, who was having a shitty day with how his favourite hoodie went missing, how his headphones stopped working, and how he dropped his cupcake on the floor. He glared at you through it all, âstop smiling for fucks sake,â he mumbled.
âOh shut up, Doremon,â you teased, as Jake had told you about the whole Nobita-Doremon conversation, minus the WikiHow part, while gaming with you. You were disappointed to see the absence of Hoon that day as he had lectures, but that didnât compare to his disappointment.Â
He fell down on the floor (it really happened, no exaggeration) when he learned that you had left just ten minutes before he arrived back at the dorm, it was as if he was facing withdrawals of your absence, not having seen you since that day in the park. And of course, he was not confident enough to actually text you. Yes, he had your number from the groupchat, but that was about it. Now, he couldnât wait much longer as he sat down to actually plan the next step, which was breaking the touch barrier. He actively ignored Jake teasing him about how you were wearing a skirt (which you definitely wore in hopes of seeing him, but oh well), and how you looked so pretty.
Sunghoon rolled into his stomach, pulling his phone out to garner more ideas, and he settled on one which seemed to be the most naturalâuse a scary movie night as an excuse, hold her when she gets scared, be her protector. He wasnât fond of it (horror movies), but he believed it was the only way to go on about it, which is why he opened the group chat and started typing, swallowing hard.
He hated horror movies, the last time he watched The Conjuring, he slept with Jay and Jake, who couldnât really complain, being equally scared, but then, he imagined youâscared and pretty, leaning into him for protection, and he was sold.
Sunghoon: movie night, ill buy pizzas
Jay: ?
Jake: you hate paying bro??
Hee: free pizza iâm in
Jungwon: oh youâre down to this now
Karina: dw ill bring Y/N along
You: sounds like fun, canât wait :3
Sunghoon threw his phone across the bed, giggling into the pillow, and Jay stared at him from the half opened door, unimpressed at the view of his friend giggling like a schoolgirl, âplease control yourself,â he mumbled.Â
Sunghoon screamed, throwing the pillow his way, âpersonal space i swear, knock before you come in!â
âYouâre cleaning that up,â Jay deadpanned, watching the pillow slide sadly down the wall, âand fix your face. You look insane.â
Three hours later, the dorm living room had been curated better as Sunghoon had dimmed the lights and gathered the pizza boxes.Â
He was wearing a grey fitted tshirt because WikiHow said grey was a soft, inviting color. He was ready. When the door opened, it was chaos. Jake and Heeseung were already on the sofa, arguing about pineapple on pizza, Jungwon was complaining about the stairs, and Karina was dragging you inside.
âHi, Hoon!â You beamed, spotting him instantly, you were wearing an oversized graphic tee and the skirt, oh that skirt, looking comfortable and devastatingly pretty.
Sunghoonâs brain short-circuited, âpizza,â he blurted out, pointing at the table, âI mean, hi. Thereâs pizza.â
âSmooth,â Heeseung whispered as he walked past, patting Sunghoonâs shoulder.
The seating arrangement was a battlefield, but Sunghoon had strategized. He maneuvered Heeseung to the armchair, shoved Jungwon and Karina to the beanbags, and left the sofa for the core trio: Jake on the far end, you in the middle, and himself rightfully claiming the spot on your right.
âSo,â Jake asked, grabbing a slice of pepperoni. unimpressed at how Hoon was behaving, âwhat are we watching?â
Sunghoon took a deep breath. This was itâthe ultimate sacrifice.
âThe Grudge,â he announced, trying to keep his voice an octave lower than usual.
Jake froze mid-chew, looking at Sunghoon, then at the TV, then back at Sunghoon with wide, betrayed eyes, âbro, are you serious? You slept with the hallway light on for a week after we watched the trailer.â
âI did not! That was you,â Sunghoon lied through his teeth, grabbing the remote to stop Jake from exposing him further, âI crave the thrill now.â
You looked at him, impressed, leaning back into the cushions so your shoulder brushed against his, âwoah, really? I love horror movies. I didnât know you were brave like that, Hoon.â
Sunghoon preened under your praise, ignoring the way his heart was doing gymnastics, âIâm full of surprises.â
He pressed play, and the room plunged into heavy silence that only horror movies can manufacture, Sunghoon sat rigid, his spine glued to the cushions, his eyes locked on the screen, but his entire awareness was tunneled on youâtracking the way you absentmindedly chewed on the crust of your pizza, the way you leaned back, looking frustratingly calm, while his own heart was doing gymnastics against his ribs. Ten minutes in, the tension was unbearable, the protagonist walking down a dark, rotting hallway while the violins shrieked in that nausea-inducing crescendo, and Sunghoonâs palms were slick with sweat, his brain screaming at him to look away, but he couldn't, not when he had a mission.
Wait for the scare, wait for the flinch, be the fucking rock. Suddenly, the ghost appeared, a pale, contorted face filling the screen with a deafening, wet shriek.
âAhhhhhh!â
A scream tore through the room, high and terrifiedâbut it wasnât you? It was Jake, who launched himself sideways, burying his face directly into your shoulder and clutching your arm like it was the last life raft on the Titanic.
âTurn it off! Turn it the fuck off! Sheâs gonna get me!â Jake wailed, vibrating with fear, effectively using you as a human shield against the fictional spirit.
You laughed, startled but amused, patting Jakeâs head with fondness, âItâs just a jump scare, Jakey, breathe.â
Sunghoon sat frozen, his arm halfway raised in a pathetic imitation of a yawn, staring at the scene in absolute horror, because that was his shoulder, that was his moment, that was his Step 3 crumbling to dust before his eyes because his best friend had zero dignity. He glared at the top of Jakeâs head, jealousy flaring hot and bright in his chest, a burning indignation that momentarily eclipsed his fear of the vengeful ghost.
âGet off her,â Sunghoon gritted out, voice laced with venom.
Jake lifted his head, eyes wide and teary, looking like a puppy, âshut up.â
âYouâre crushing her,â Sunghoon lied through his teeth, reaching over to peel Jakeâs fingers off your arm with surprising strength, his jaw tight, âsit up, Jake, have some self-respect, be a man.â
âYouâre just jealous I got the safe spot,â Jake sniffled, retreating to the corner of the couch but keeping a hand on your sleeve just in case, pouting, and you chuckled, hiding your smile from Sunghoon.
Sunghoon bristled, turning back to the screen, determined to reclaim the moment, because the movie was building up to the next scare, the ghost crawling down the stairs with wet, cracking sounds that made his skin crawl. He lifted his arm yet again, fingers trembling slightly because he needed to be smooth, but he was scared.Â
And on the screen, the ghost lunched right at the camera, and well, Sunghoon didnât just scream, he fucking broke. Instead of casually putting an arm around you, he let out a strangled yelp and instinctively yanked you toward him, burying his face into the crook of your neck and wrapping both arms around you in a crushing embrace.
Silence filled the room, heavy and awkward, broken only by the screaming on the TV and Sunghoonâs heavy, erratic breathing against your collarbone.
You sat there, stunned, your face pressed against the soft cotton of Sunghoonâs t-shirt. You could smell his detergentâclean linen and something distinctly himâand feel the way his heart was hammering against your chest, the rhythm so fast it made your own pulse skip a beat. Butterflies erupted in your stomach, not from the fear of the movie, but from the sudden, overwhelming warmth of him surrounding you, his arms holding you like he never planned to let goâand of course, he had well defined muscles, you could feel it.
Jake paused his panic to look at Sunghoon, Jungwon stopped eating mid-chew, and Karina raised a judgmental eyebrow from the beanbag.
âHoonie?â You whispered, your voice muffled against his chest, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
Sunghoon froze as the realization crashed down on himâhe was hugging you. He was practically hiding in your neck and everyone was watching. He had failed Step 3 in the most spectacular way possible, yetâyou felt so warm. You fit so perfectly against himâand it made him want to bite you? Abort, abort, abort. He slowly pulled his face away from your neck, but he didnât let go of the hug, he looked down at you with wide, panicked eyes, his ears burning (again), searching your face for rejection.
âIâI got you,â he stammered, his voice cracking, trying to look heroic while his hands still trembled on your back, âI thoughtâI thought you were going to jump, so Iâuh held you.âÂ
Everyone was baffled, and wondering how you even entertained Sunghoon through his outbursts, but they found fun in it, watching it unfold like some sitcom.
âHeld me?â You repeated, eyebrows shooting up, though the amusement dancing in your eyes was soft, not mocking, âby trying to merge our ribcages?â
âIt was a reflex,â he insisted, though the thought seemed wildly nice, before looking around the room, refusing to make eye contact with Jake, who was now grinning wickedly, âdonât overthink it.â
âI think heâs using you as a teddy bear,â Jungwon deadpanned from the floor, throwing a piece of popcorn at Sunghoonâs leg.
âShut up,â Sunghoon hissed, but he tightened his arms around you just a fraction, pulling you back down so your head rested on his chest, âiâm protecting her. Look away.â
You didnât pull away. Instead, you shifted closer until you were comfortably tucked against his side, listening to the rapid thumping of his heart slowing down to a steady, comforting rhythm. You wrapped an arm around his waist, grounding him, feeling the tension slowly leave his frame.
âItâs okay, my brave protector,â you whispered, looking up so your breath tickled his chin, âkeep me safe.â
Sunghoon swallowed hard, resting his chin on top of your head, his face still burning. He stared straight ahead at the terrifying screen, absolutely petrified of the ghost, but thinking that maybe, just maybe, failing step 3 was better than succeeding.Â
Because for the rest of the movie, he didnât let go of you once, and every time you shifted, his hold only grew gentler, more possessive, and infinitely more real.
STEP SIX: Texting builds character
âYou knowâI donât get it, it feels like mixed signals,â you sighed and Karina was baffled.
âWhat mixed signals? Youâre as blind as him I swear,â she mumbles, shaking her head, âyou both get such good grades but canât navigate life, even if youâre a bit better at hiding your dumbass thoughts.â
âAw thanks for the support,â you gasped in fake sweetness before sitting down next to her and sighing, âone second we are hugging and the otherâradio silence, what even is going on?â
Karina sighed, finally glancing at you with a pitying look, âheâs just a guy. And guys are stupid. You look like a sad Victorian woman waiting for her husband to return from war.â
âShut up,â you groaned.Â
âMake him jealous, maybe heâll act up again and confess for real,â she shrugged.
âConfess? Girl I donât think he sees me that way, definitely just a friend.â
Karina couldnât believe her ears, but she couldnât be mean when you looked like a puppy now, just like Sunghoon. It was crazy how similar you both were, yet so different, but yes, you shared that same dumbness of not acknowledging the basic emotions you harboured.Â
So when you got a text from Sunghoon, you were surprised, rushing into your room before Jungwon could comment on the odd look on your face.Â
Meanwhile, Sunghoon sat in the library with his textbooks wide open, but he hadnât read a word in twenty minutes. Instead, he was staring at his phone, his thumb hovering over the delete text button. On his laptop, hidden behind a PDF of organic chemistry notes (his elective), was the tab:
WikiHow: How to Flirt Over Text
Step 1: Be playful. Send a meme that relates to a shared interest or a current mood. Humor lowers defenses.
He had agonized over the image for ten minutes. Was it too weird? Too try-hard? He needed something that said Iâm thinking about you without actually admitting that he was, indeed, obsessively thinking about you. He swallowed hard, his heart doing a nervous rhythm against his ribs. Just calm down, Park. Itâs a meme, not a marriage proposal (might as well have been a marriage proposal for him).
On the other hand, you had thrown yourself onto your bed, buried yourself under the duvet to block out the world (and Jungwon, who was loudly gaming in the next room), and opened the chat to find a blurry, low-res picture of Psyduck clutching its head, eyes wide in some sort of existential horror.Â
Hoonie: me looking at this chem assignment rn
A laugh bubbled up in your chest. It was so stupid, so random, and so him.
You: pleaseee
You: that is literally you
You: drama queen
Hoonie: wow
Hoonie: im suffering and this is the support i get?
Hoonie: fake friend
It physically pained him to even type the word, however, the guide did say to start off slow, so here he was, biting his lip as he saw you typing, wondering if youâll play along or be offended.
You: iâm a great friend btw
You: iâm manifesting good grades for u from my bed
Three dots appeared for you, bubbling, then stopping, then bubbling again.
Hoonie: must be nice to be resting
Hoonie: im starving actually
You stared at the screen, wondering if this conversation was going where you thought it was going cause he was starving, and well, you were starving (always).
You: same tbh
You: i would kill for boba rn
The typing bubble appeared for a long time, then it disappeared. A moment later, an audio file appeared.
Hoonie: [Voice Message 0:08]
You fumbled to hit play, holding the phone pressed tight against your ear.
The background noise of the library was faintâthe rustle of pages, a distant coughâbut his voice was right there, as if he was whispering directly into the mic so the others wouldnât hear. The intimacy of it sent a shiver down your spine.
âIâm practically dead here. I was gonna sneak out to that boba place near the campusâthe one thatâs still open? You should come. Save me from this chemistry nightmare.â
There was a pause, a small intake of breath, and then a softer, rather shy admission, âIâll pay.â
Your heart slammed against your ribcage, because he wasnât just texting, he was asking you out, at 11 PM, to get bubble tea. This was it, maybe he was trying to signal directly for the first time. You bit your lip to stop the grin spreading across your face and started typing furiously.
You: deal. give me 10 mins iâm comâ
Ping.
Another text popped up before you could hit send.
Hoonie: jake and jay are coming too
Hoonie: so yeah group thing, you can invite won and rinaÂ
Hoonie: ill be waiting
Your thumbs froze over the keyboard. The cursor blinked at the end of your unfinished sentence, of fucking course, it was a group thing. The excitement drained out of you like water from a cracked cup. It went from a date to a hangout in the span of three seconds.
Sunghoon stared at his phone, horror dawning on his face. He dropped his forehead onto the library table with a dull thud.
âYou idiot,â he whispered to the wood grain, talking to himself, âwhy did you invite Jake? Jake hates tapioca pearls.â
He had panicked. The voice note had felt too intimate, way too real. The WikiHow guide had a warning in bold red textâdonât come on too strong or youâll scare her off. In a split second of terror that you might say no, he had used Jake and Jay as some human shields. Now, staring at the chat, he realized he had ruined it.
Beside him, Jake looked up from his laptop, looking at the groupchat where Jungwon had confirmed that heâll be joining (you had asked him and Rina in a grumpy tone), your supposed date now turning into the usual hangout.
âBro, did you just invite us to get boba? I thought we were grinding until midnight?â
Sunghoon didnât reply, simply standing up and grabbing Jake by the hoodie, as he dragged him into aâheadlock.
âOw! What the hell?â Jake yelped.
Meanwhile, you were staring at the text, contemplating throwing your phone across the room, when another notification popped up.
Jay đŠ sent an image.
You frowned and opened it. It was a blurry, candid photo taken in the library. In the foreground, Sunghoon had Jake in a chokehold. Sunghoonâs face was buried in his arm, his ears bright red, looking equal parts frustrated and miserable. Jake looked like a flailing hostage.
Jay đŠ : hoon is having a breakdown idkÂ
Rina: do i even ask if heâs okay anymore
Hee: click more pics, ill need those
Jun-gone: ,, why?
Hee: science
You stared at the photo, at Sunghoonâs red ears and frustrated posture. The disappointment in your chest loosened, replaced by a sudden, warm laugh. So he had panicked. You grabbed your hoodie, the smile back on your face.Â
Sunghoon groaned, because this step had failed, miserably so.
STEP SEVEN: Turn your failures into wins.Â
The universe probably hated you, or maybe you were just dumb enough not to check in with Jake about Sunghoonâs availability in their dorms, cause somehow you found yourself there with a plan to game with the boys, Karina and Jungwon had joined in as well, which means everyone was thereâeveryone but Sunghoon.
âHeâs at the library,â Jake had said, waving a controller dismissively as he selected a track on Mario Kart, âsomething about his thermodynamics assignment or whatever. I think he just forgot we were hanging out.â
So, you gamed. You played round after round, fueling yourself with soda and the competitive rage of losing to Jungwon three times in a row. But as the hours ticked by and the adrenaline crashed, the exhaustion of the week finally caught up to you. The shouting and the flashing lights of the TV became a blur as your eyes felt heavy, which is how you managed to fall asleep on the couch in this awkward position. No one bothered to wake you up.
âLeaving this to Sunghoon now,,â Jungwon muttered and Karina agreed once the session was over.
When Sunghoon finally unlocked the dorm door, the silence was jarring. He had spent the last five hours battling Carnotâs theorem, and his brain felt like mush. He expected to find a room full of pizza boxes and screaming friends. Instead, he found a dim room lit only by the standby light of the TV and Jake, who was scrolling on his phone in the armchair.
And then, he saw the couch. Sunghoon froze in the entryway, his keys still clutched in his hand. You were curled up in the corner of the beat-up sofa, cheek smushed against a throw pillow, looking comfortably disheveled, hair spilling over your face, and your soft, rhythmic breathing was the only sound in the room. Â
Sunghoon felt his chest tighten, a warm feeling spreading through his ribcage. He stood there, staring, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to be cool and composed. He just looked like a guy whose heart had decided to do gymnastics because a girl was sleeping on his furniture. Â
âYouâre late,â Jake whispered, not looking up from his phone, âwe finished like an hour ago.â
Sunghoon blinked, the spell breaking slightly. He toed off his shoes, trying to be quiet, âI was studying.â
âSure,â Jake snorted. He gestured with his chin toward the couch, âyour turn to be the hero. Everyone else bailed.â
Sunghoon took a few steps closer, looking down at youâyou looked so small, so peaceful. He wanted to reach out and fix the hair falling into your eyes, but his hands felt too big, too clumsy. Â
âSheâs asleep,â Sunghoon stated the obvious, his voice hushed.
âComatose, actually,â Jake corrected, finally standing up and stretching his back, âJungwon destroyed her in Smash Bros, seemed like she was distracted,â Jake looked at Sunghoon, then at you, and rolled his eyes, âdonât just stare at her, dude, you look like a creep.â
âIâm not staring,â Sunghoon whispered defensively, though his ears were already turning red. Â
âTake her to your room,â Jake said, stifling a yawn.
Sunghoon choked on air, âmyâwhat?â
âYour room,â Jake repeated slowly, as if talking to a toddler, âthe couch is lumpy, and my room is not clean right now. Unless you want her waking up with me by her side.â
âThatâs not happening,â Sunghoon muttered, a sudden wave of possessiveness washing over him at the thought of you waking up next to Jake, and truly, Sunghoon was a jealous man, something he did, âfine. Iâve got her.â Â
âDonât drop her,â Jake yawned, disappearing into his room without another glance. Â
Sunghoon stood alone in the dim living room, staring at you. Okay, he just had to carry you, just hold you in his arms, simpleâright? He crouched down, sliding one arm under your knees and the other behind your back. He expected it to be awkward, expected to trip over the rug, but as he lifted you, he realized you fit surprisingly well in his arms, mentally patting himself on the back for acting normal.
You shifted instinctively, your head lulling to rest against his chest, nose burying into the fabric of his shirt. Sunghoonâs breath hitched, cause god, he was doing it again, trying to get a whiff of your scent, and he was terrified youâd wake up and hear his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. He walked carefully down the hall, navigating the darkness and kicked his bedroom door open with his foot. The room was cool, smelling of his detergent and books. He lowered you onto his bed and you sank into the mattress immediately. Sunghoon pulled away, his arms suddenly feeling empty and cold. He stood by the bed, watching you, his hand hovering uncertainly, caressing your cheek gently before he shook his head.
He retreated to the corner, sitting down on the desk chair as he tried to distract himself with physics yet again, but he stared at you for most of the time. Now, it was a big thing for Sunghoon who was pondering deeplyâwould things be like this if you were to date him? Would you sleep on his bed? Would you let him stay? He was preparing himself without even knowing much. He knew your favourites by heart nowâcoffee order, the type of pasta you preferred, the bands youâd been listening to. He had found your Spotify account, and he blushed when he saw you actually listening to EsDeeKid when heâd mentioned he liked it.Â
It was the next stepâbe caring and attentive, but as much as he was following it, you were doing it too, without a guide, but yeah. There was no doubt he was down bad, he wanted youâneeded you. But he was willing to wait, as for now, he was more than content watching you sleep on his bed (heâs not being creepy he swearsâalthough he has done some questionable stuff before). He didnât register much, especially the time, or the way you were shifting in your sleep.
âHoon?â You whispered, your voice a small, happy to see him before you gathered your surroundingsâit was Hoonâs room, he carried you inside.
Sunghoon jumped so violently his chair creaked, spinning around with wide eyes behind his lenses. He immediately tried to fix his posture, reaching for that composed shield, but he looked too drained to maintain it. Â
âHey,â he breathed, his voice deep and rough from disuse. Â
He stood up and walked over to the bed, his strides careful as if he were afraid to startle you. He reached out, his hand hovering near your shoulder for a heartbeat before he gently grasped the corner of the duvet that had slipped. He tucked it back into place, his fingers lingering agonizingly close to your skin. You saw his knuckles twitch, the silent battle to touch your cheek written in the tension of his jaw, but he clenched his hand into a fist and pulled back. Â
âYou okay? Wanna go back to sleep? Itâs late,â he said softly, his eyes reflecting the dim lamp light, âItâs late.â Â
âYou should sleep too,â you murmured mindlessly, reaching out from under the covers to catch his wrist. Â
Sunghoon froze, his breath hitching as he stared down at your hand against his skin. The heat of the touch was instant, and he stood rooted to the spot, trapped by the gentle pressure of your fingers. Â
âI will,â he lied, his voice barely a whisper, not moving an inch until you finally let go, his pulse still hammering where your fingers had been. Â
You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes as you realized the time, and even if yo didnât want to, you said it, âI should probably go back to my dorm. I didnât mean to take over your bed.â
Sunghoon looked at his desk, then back at you, a conflict of interest clear in his eyes, âItâs raining really hard,â he noted, his voice dropping to a low murmur. Â
âSoââ you teased softly, the remnants of sleep making you bolder, âshould I stay?â
He looked at you, his brain likely running through a twelve-step response plan, but he settled for a slow shake of his head, âIâIâll walk you back,â he managed, his ears turning a bright crimson because he doesnât trust himself alone with you, especially at nightâespecially when you say things like that, âI have an umbrella.â
You chuckled, watching him move aroundâyou always felt so helpless especially when he looked so soft. He was so incredibly caring, and you couldnât even deny that you wanted more, as selfish as it might sound.
The walk back was quiet, the black canopy creating a tiny, private world for the two of you as you splashed through the puddles. He walked close, his shoulder brushing yours, his hand steady on the handle to make sure you stayed dry while he took the brunt of the mist. When you reached your door, you didnât just wave, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into a firm, warm hug, your emotions taking over. Sunghoon went rigid for a microsecond before his arms wound around you, pulling you into the warmth of his chest naturally now. He rested his chin on the top of your head, inhaling sharply, wishing the night didnât have to end.
âGoodnight, Hoonie,â you whispered against his heart. Â
âGoodnight, Y/N,â he rasped back, watching you head inside with a gaze that was far from neutral.
It was hard to let go, he pulled you to him harder, sighing as his hands caressed your sides, and you almost whined when he put just the slightest amount of pressure before he actually let goâeyes darker than ever, as if he was having just as hard time as you if not more. Â
He walked back feeling emptier than ever, wondering what could have happened if he had asked you to stay. Would you have wrapped your arms around him the same way? Would you let him cuddle you to sleepâto kiss you goodnight or more?Â
âGod,â he mumbled, finally reaching his room again and getting on his bed.
His phone chimed just then, and he frowned because who would text him this late? Mouth opening wide when he saw your notification, a picture attachment. He was scared to open it, and rightfully so. He threw his phone away with a gasp, cause no wayâno fucking way you sent him your picture, on your bed, in your tank top that did nothing to hide your cleavage. Heâd been doing so well, holding on so well, only to shatter at the sight of you, smiling that easy smile of yours.Â
Y/N-nie: thanks for tonight hoonie, sleep well đ
Sleep? No. He grabbed the phone and managed to type a response, saving your picture as he stared deeply at the slight dimple on your face, that one mole which was barely visibleâbut he wanted to kiss it. The way your clavicle looked so inviting wasnât helping his case. Was he actually getting turned on at the mere sight of what you could offer him? Yes, he was.Â
âNoâno I canât do this to herâno,â he mumbled, grabbing his hardening cock through the sweatpants, âpathetic,â he breathed out.
He sat back against the headboard, the air in the room feeling thick and heavy. His breath was coming in short, uneven hitches, and he couldnât stop the frustrated sound that caught in his throat as he looked back down at the screen. The blue light washed over his face, highlighting the sheer desperation in his eyes as he took in every detail of the photo again. His hand tightened, the fabric of his sweatpants offering little relief against the insistent, pulsing ache. He felt like he was losing a war with himself. Every time he tried to blink you away, the image of that tank top and your soft, teasing smile felt like it was burned into his retinas.
âYouâre doing this on purpose,â he choked out, his voice a low, wrecked rasp, âyou have to be.â
He shifted, his body reacting to the mental image of being there with you, of seeing that smile in person instead of through a cold glass screen. The tension was coiled so tight in his gut it was almost painful. He palmed himself again, a desperate, clumsy movement born out of a total lack of control, his head falling back against the wall with a dull thud as he freed himself, wrapping his big hand around his leaking cock, groaning louder by the second. Just the image of you, the scent of you on his bed drove him into madness as he pumped himself, praying that his flatmates wouldnât hear him.Â
Thrusting his hips up, he chased that feeling, delving deeper into the thoughts of you no matter how embarrassed he was at the situation, he couldnât help but imagine your soft fingers wrapped around his cock, your pretty eyes looking up at him, calling him hoonie.
âFuckâneed you.â
He would kiss you so deeply, be so close to you so youâd breathe the same air, heâd touch you even softlyâgod youâd look so pretty arching into him. He gripped himself harder, wondering if youâd like him being so soft with you, wondering if youâd let him taste you, wondering if youâd want him as bad as he wants you.
Would he be soft with you? Heâs pretty sure heâd lose control and come off too strong, and maybe youâd like seeing him take control. The image of you moaning his name, pulling him closer and into your pretty pussyâyeah, that had him stroking himself harder, groaning out your name, each sound rougher than the last.
Yes, it was embarrassing how fast his body gave in, thick ropes of cum staining his bed sheet and sweats as he focused on his breathing with his eyes closed, âso fucking pathetic,â he mumbled.
He isnât sure his step worked out, but he knew one thingâhe had never felt such an insane surge of pleasure before.
STEP EIGHT: Mission abort
Guilty.
That was all what Sunghoon felt after waking upâbecause how did he even manage to get hard at an innocent picture of you? It didnât matter now, he had fucked up, and now he stood in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth, contemplating his choices. Firstâhe can go out and continue acting as if nothing happened, or secondâhe can hide in his room and stay locked away forever and ever. The latter seemed very tempting, but that also meant heâd never see you againâthe absolute love of his life.
The idea itself was so haunting, that he had no option but to jump in his room, hyping himself for the next meetingâwhich he was orchestrating by asking Jungwon about your schedule (again), and he was relieved to hear that you were in the library, alone. Maybe he would feel better if he gets to talk to you one on one, since that opportunity has been rare (happened twice and he was struggling). So, he wore a nice button up, parted his hair to the side, sprayed a decent amount of cologneâall while Jake stared at him, amused.
âAre you gonna ask her out?â
Hoon flinched, âGoshâwhy donât you guys ever knock?â He mumbled, pouting a little.
âIâm just going to the library,â Sunghoon deflected, turning back to the mirror to fix a strand of hair that was already perfect, âto study. Alone.â
âRight,â Jake snorted, not looking up from his phone, âjust donât trip on your way to Y/N.â
Bringing them their favorite snack or drink shows that you listen and that you care about their comfort. It creates a positive association with your presence.
âI listen,â Sunghoon whispered to himself as he carefully balanced the cardboard carrier and the pastry box against the biting wind, âI am a great listener, I am thoughtful, I can do it.â
He felt good, today, he was the guy in the button-up bringing coffee. He had upgraded himself to the romantic lead of a rom-com, from the previous indie movie actor. He reached the library, navigating the quiet rows of books with a newfound confidence. He knew exactly where to find the Biology sectionâthe corner table by the window, he rounded the corner, a rehearsed casual greeting on his lipsâOh, hey, just happened to be in the neighborhood with pastriesâbut the words died in his throat.
You were there, just like Jungwon said, however, the composition of the scene was wrong. Sitting beside you, occupying the space Sunghoon had mentally reserved for himself, was a guy. Sunghoon didnât know him, but he immediately felt a surge of irrational hostility. The guy wasnât wearing a stiff button-up or drowning in expensive cologne. He was wearing a faded, oversized hoodie, leaning back in his chair with a maddening, effortless slouch that made Sunghoon nervous.
Sunghoon froze behind a stack of anatomy encyclopedias, clutching the cheesecake box so hard the cardboard buckled under his thumb.
âIf you skew the standard deviation any further, this becomes a guessing game, not a lab report,â the guy said, tapping his pen against your screen.
You laughed and it wasnât the polite, reserved chuckle you gave strangers, It was the unguarded, head-thrown-back laugh that you provided Hoon with. You nudged the guyâs shoulder playfully.
âWe gotta optimize the data, Jaemin,â you teased, âlook at that bell curve. Itâs beautiful.â
Jaemin grinned, looking at you with a familiarity that made Sunghoonâs stomach drop, âso what? You canât just gaslight E. Coli into fitting your hypothesis.â
Sunghoon looked down at himself. He saw the carefully ironed shirt, the polished shoes, the thoughtful surprise that suddenly felt like a desperate bribe. He felt like a caricatureâa man masquerading as a romantic lead while the actual protagonist was sitting right there in a beat-up hoodie, speaking your language, making you laugh about bacteria without even trying.
The WikiHow guide hadnât prepared him for this. It had steps for flirting, steps for eye contact, steps for mirroring body language, it didnât have a step for watching the girl you like shine brightly at someone else, unaware that he was even in the room. He turned on his heel, the movement sharp and painful. He walked back toward the exit, his pace quickening until he was practically fleeing the scene, the cheerful chime of the library door mocking him as he stepped out into the biting wind. Sunghoon had never been good with jealousy, and right now, he wanted nothing more than to pull you away from the guy and kiss you right there, god heâd do so much just to prove a point, but noâhe had to stay calm, for now at least, and leaving was the only option.
The chime of the door made you look up from your laptop. The smile that had been on your face while joking with Jaemin faded instantly as you checked your phone for the fifth time in ten minutes. The screen still displayed the last text from Jungwonâheâs on his way, said he has a surprise. You frowned, your brows knitting together as you scanned the entrance, but there was no one there. The library was quiet, devoid of the tall, clumsy boy you had been hoping to see.
âEverything okay?â Jaemin asked, noticing your shift in mood.
âYeah,â you sighed, dropping your phone face-down on the table with a dull thud of disappointment, âI just thoughtânever mind. Back to the assignment.â
Outside, Sunghoon sat on a secluded concrete bench, oblivious to the fact that you had been looking for him. He placed the cooling coffee on the ground and opened the pastry box.
âI hate blueberry,â he muttered, picking up the plastic fork with shaking fingers.
He ate the cheesecake aggressively, he felt ridiculous, he was a grown man sitting in the cold eating a cake meant for a girl who was currently laughing about standard deviations with someone else, all because he needed an internet article to tell him how to be a human being. Â
He pulled his phone out of his pocket, the tab was still open:
WikiHow: How to flirt with a pretty girl (with pictures).
He stared at the cheerful illustrations, the bullet points that promised success if he just followed the formula, it all looked so hollow now, so sterile.Â
âStupid,â he hissed. He closed the tab, closing the browser next before he cleared his history, as if scrubbing the evidence of his own incompetence.
He was done. He was done treating you like a puzzle to be solved with cheat codes. Watching you with Jaemin had triggered something visceral in himânot just jealousy, but a terrifying clarity. He didnât want to be the guy who surprised you with coffee because a website told him to, he wanted to be the guy who could make you laugh like that naturally
âTomorrow,â he said to the empty bench, tossing the empty cake box into the trash with a decisive thud.Â
The end-of-semester party was tomorrow night, everyone would be there. There would be no scripts, no steps, no hiding behind Jake or a stack of books.
âIâm just going to tell her,â he decided, the wind ruffling his carefully parted hair, âIâm going to walk up to her, and Iâm going to tell her. No more steps.â
He stood up, wiping a crumb from his lip. He felt terrified, he also felt nauseous, but for the first time in weeks, he didnât feel like a projectâhe felt like Sunghoon.
And Sunghoon was going to confess to you.
STEP NINE: Be yourself (or not)
âWhy am I wearing this again?â You asked as Karina stood behind you, zipping up your dressâwhich was beautiful, however, Karina wasnât the one to instruct you on your dressing choices.
âCause Iâm fed up of you and Hoon being dumb, maybe this will make him realize what heâs been missing,â she muttered, making you roll your eyes.
âHe didnât even show up at the library, Rin. I think the message is pretty clearâand just when I thought we were actually going somewhere, especially with how sweet he was when I slept at his dorm,â you mumbled, smoothing down the fabric, âheâs not interested.â
âOr,â Karina countered, spinning you around to face the mirror, âheâs an idiot who got lost in his own head. Look at you girlâIf Park Sunghoon doesnât lose his mind tonight, heâs officially clinically dead.â
You stared at your reflection, and you felt nervous, thinking of backing out now, but Karina was already shoving a purse into your hands and dragging you out the door before you could overthink it. The frat house was vibrating before you even stepped inside. The bass rattled your teeth, and the air was thick with the scent of cheap beer and humidity. It was the kind of scene Sunghoon usually avoided, or endured by standing in the back looking bored and devastatingly handsome.
You scanned the room instinctively, your eyes darting over the sea of bobbing heads and red Solo cups, but the familiar silhouette of broad shoulders and perfectly styled dark hair was nowhere to be found. You told yourself you werenât looking for him, that you were here to dance and forget about the odds, but your subconscious was a traitor. Every time the door opened, letting in a blast of cold air and fresh bodies, your heart did a hopeful little stutter in your chest, only to sink when it wasnât him.
âHeâs not here,â Karina shouted over the thumping bass, reading your mind with terrifying accuracy. She handed you a drink that smelled like fruit punch, âstop looking. If he shows up, he shows up. If he doesnât, itâs his loss. Now come on, theyâre playing that song you like.â
You let her drag you onto the makeshift dance floor, the sticky residue of spilled beer gripping the soles of your shoes. You tried to lose yourself in the rhythm, to let the vibrations of the music rattle the anxiety out of your bones, but the knot in your stomach remained tight. Thirty minutes later, you started feeling odd. It was subtle at firstâa ripple of whispers, heads turning toward the entryway. You were by the kitchen island, trying to cool down with a cup of water, when you saw him.
Park Sunghoon had arrived.
And he wasnât alone; Jake was flanking him like a bodyguard, but Sunghoon didnât look like he needed protection. He lookedâdifferent, gone were the oversized, comforting hoodies. Tonight, he was wearing all blackâa fitted shirt that somehow emphasized the sharp line of his jaw and dark jeans that made his legs look miles long. He wasnât checking his phone, he didnât even bother scanning the room with that panicked, deer-in-headlights look he usually wore, he looked focused, determined even. Â
He stood near the entrance, declining a drink offered by a hopeful sophomore, his eyes now cutting through the haze of the party as if he was looking for someone.
âTarget acquired,â Jake muttered into Sunghoonâs ear, nudging him hard enough that Sunghoon stumbled a step forward, breaking his cool facade for a second.
Sunghoon followed Jakeâs gaze and locked onto you instantly. The noise of the party seemed to fade into white noise for him. You were standing under the harsh kitchen light, the dress Karina picked hugging your frame, looking absolutely breathtaking and terrifyingly out of his league. He took a deep breath, steeling himself as he started to move toward you, his strides long and purposeful.
But before he could reach the kitchen island, you turned abruptly, intercepted by a group of girls who grabbed your arm and pulled you and Karina towards the back hallwayâthe one usually reserved for coats and couples looking for privacy. You looked confused, casting one last glance over your shoulder, but the crowd swallowed Sunghoonâs view of you.
âWhere is she going?â Sunghoon frowned, the panic starting to creep back in.
âLooks like interrogation,â Jake said, squinting, âuh-ohâthatâs the gossip squad. Come on.â
Sunghoon didnât need to be told twice. He followed you, weaving through the sweaty bodies, Jake trailing close behind. They reached the entrance of the narrow, dimly lit hallway just as the voices drifted out. Sunghoon raised a hand to stop Jake, pressing his back against the wall just outside the hallway entrance. He didnât mean to eavesdrop, but the sound of his own name froze him in place.
âSo, be honest,â a voice purred, that made the hair on the back of Sunghoon's neck stand up, âare you his next target?â
Sunghoon froze. He looked at Jake, whose eyes had gone wide, his hand hovering over Sunghoonâs shoulder as if to restrain him. He knew the bullshit the girls used to spew about them, but actually cornering you was concerning.
âTarget?â your voice rang out, incredulous, âwhat are you even talking about?â
âOh, come on,â the girl laughed, âwe know the type. He puts on that whole innocent act, standing in the corner looking all bored and mysterious, but itâs just a trap, right? I heard heâs actually wild. That he has a whole rotation of girls and he just plays the quiet card to lure you in.â Â
âYeah,â another voice chimed in, âhe looks like he knows exactly what heâs doing. A total player, my friend says heâs dangerous, he had a go at her.â
Sunghoon felt a strange, conflicting tightness in his chest. Part of himâthe part that had spent hours reading WikiHow articles on how to be coolâheld his breath. He didnât wish to be perceived as a player, obviously, but he desperately wanted to be seen as a man, someone capable. He waited, heart hammering against his ribs, hoping you would defend him by saying he was respectful, or intense, or maybe even justâcool.
Instead, he heard you scoff, as if you were offended, âdangerous?â You repeated, the word sounding ridiculous in your mouth, âPark Sunghoon? Are you guys blind?â
âExcuse me?â the girl sounded taken aback.
âHe isnât a fuckboy,â you snapped, your voice rising in defense of him, fueled by the protective anger of someone who knew the truth, and youâd been on edge all day, which made Karina look at you with concern, wondering where this is going, âheâs barely even a guy in the way youâre thinking. Heâsâheâs so innocent, youâre just tainting his image.â
The word hung in the dank hallway air. Innocent. Sunghoon felt the color drain from his face.
âInnocent?â the girl challenged, âwith that face? Please.â
âIâm serious,â you insisted, stepping closer to them, your voice softening into a tone that sounded painfully, devastatingly like pity to Sunghoonâs ears, âheâs not mysterious, heâs just shy, he doesnât have a roster, he has a skincare routine that has twelve steps. He drinks banana milk because he thinks coffee makes him too jittery sometimes.â Â
Sunghoon squeezed his eyes shut. Stop, he begged silently. Please, just stop. But you were on a roll, determined to clear his name of these vile accusations, unaware that you were simultaneously dismantling his entire romantic potential, making him feel as if you never saw him as something beyond someone who was just clumsy and cute, as if you didnt see him as a guy after all, as if he couldnât whatâfuck you?Â
âHeâs not like that, okay? Heâs likeâa puppy,â you said, and fondness in your voice went unnoticed by Hoon, âa newborn puppy on ice. He trips over his own feet when he gets excited. Heâs clumsy and sweet and completely harmless.â Â
Harmless. The word echoed in Sunghoonâs skull, drowning out the thumping bass of the party. Harmless, safe, a puppy. Yes, you were defending him butâhe couldnât even thank you for that, simply wondering what would have happened if he actually confessed. Would you have laughed in his face and called him just a friend?
Jake slowly turned to look at Sunghoon. The amusement was gone from his face, replaced by a cringe of profound sympathy. He looked at Sunghoonâs white knuckles, at the devastation etched into the sharp lines of his jaw.
âDude,â Jake whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.
Sunghoon felt like he couldnât breathe. He had wanted to be the protagonist. He had wanted to be the protector, the one who held you during horror movies. He wanted you to see him as a man who could sweep you off your feet. And all this time, you didnât see him as a man at all. You saw him as a loser, you didnât look at him with desireâyou looked at him with the same fondness one might have for a particularly incompetent golden retriever.
âLetâs go,â Sunghoon whispered, his voice hollow and scraping against his throat.
âButâyou were gonna tell herââ
âI said letâs go.â
Sunghoon didnât wait for Jake. He pushed off the wall, turning his back on the hallway where you were passionately defending his lack of masculinity. He moved through the crowd blindly, shoving past sweaty bodies, the bass pounding in his ears mocking the frantic, broken rhythm of his heart. He felt small and stupid. He felt like the massive loser he feared he was. Â
He burst out of the front door into the cold night air, gasping as if he had been drowning. He didnât look back, he couldnât. He just walked, putting as much distance as possible between himself and the girl who thought he was a loser.
STEP TEN: Accepting defeat
Radio silence.Â
You had never felt this agitated in your life, never missed someone so much in your life. It had been over a week and you hadnât seen Sunghoon, and the worst part? You didnât even know what was wrong, was he just ignoring you or was it the same for others as well? You could have sworn he was at the party, and as soon as you were done with the girls, you had come out to search for him, only to feel his absence even further.
You checked your phone again, hoping to see a reply but no.
You: are you okay hoonie?
You: jake said you are sick
Those were the texts you had sent five days back, but you didnât stop there.
You: is everything okay?
You: hoon?
You: did i do something wrong
He hadnât even read it, simply left you on delivered. The lack of response resulted in a physical ache in your chest. You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the last week in your head. Had you been too clingy? Had the hug outside the dorm been too much? Or maybe, just maybe, those girls were right, and he had simply decided he was bored of his current toy.
No, you thought, rolling over and burying your face in your pillow. Heâs not like thatâheâs Sunghoon. Heâs the guy who covers you with umbrellas and brings you coffee. Heâs the guy who looked at you like you were the only person in the room. But if he was that guy, then where was he? The uncertainty was gnawing at you, turning your usual confidence into a frayed mess of nerves. You missed his awkwardness. You missed his sudden bursts of confidence followed by immediate regret. You missed the way he made you feel like you were safe.
Across campus, inside the dorm that smelled of despair, Park Sunghoon was currently lying face-down on the living room rug. He hadnât moved in twenty minutes. Inside his head, it was a funeral. He was eulogizing his manhood, his romantic prospects, and his dignity. The word echoed in the cavern of his skullâharmless, harmless, harmless.
âAre you going to rot there all day?â A voice asked from above.
Sunghoon groaned, refusing to look up, âleave me alone, Jay. Iâm decomposing.â
âYouâre blocking the path to the kitchen,â Jay said, nudging Sunghoonâs ribs with his foot, âand youâve been listening to sad bollywood playlists for three days straight when you donât even understand the lyrics.â
âLet him rot,â Jakeâs voice drifted in from the couch, though it lacked his usual biting sarcasm, âheâs mourning the death of his ego.â
Sunghoon shot up, sitting cross-legged on the rug with a sudden, frantic energy. His hair was a mess, and he looked like he hadnât slept in a week.
âIâm not mourning my ego,â Sunghoon snapped, though his voice cracked, betraying him instantly, âIâm facing the fucking reality. She called me innocent, Jake. She told them I wasnât shit.â
âShe did not say that dude, she was defending you, you idiot,â Jay interjected, leaning against the doorframe with a dish towel in hand, âI wasnât even there, and even I know that. Jake told me the whole story.â
âShe defended me by neutering me!â Sunghoon argued, the humiliation burning fresh in his chest, âShe told them I am clumsyâwhich is true butâshe sees me as a child, Jay. You donât date children, you babysit them."Â Â
âShe literally meant sheâs comfy with you,â Jake tried to reason, sitting up.Â
âI donât want to be comfortable,â Sunghoon hissed, standing up and pacing the small room, âI wanted to beâI donât know, someone she actually desires.â
He felt foolish for even trying. The button-up shirts, the cologne, the WikiHow articlesâit was all just dressing up a golden retriever in a tuxedo. At the end of the day, you saw right through it. You saw the clumsy, anxious mess underneath and decided he was something to be coddled. Â
âOkay, enough,â Jay decided, tossing the dish towel onto the counter, âyou're spiraling. Put on shoes, weâre going to get food.â
âIâm not hungry.â
âNobody asked,â Jay said, grabbing his keys, âJake, grab his other arm.â
Despite his protests, Sunghoon was manhandled into a jacket and dragged out of the dorm. He walked with his head down, hands shoved deep into his pockets, reverting to his resting bitch face now, not because he wanted to look cool, but because he wanted to disappear. They made it to the campus plaza, the wind biting at Sunghoonâs cheeks. He was busy staring at a crack in the pavement, plotting his transfer to a university on a different continent, when Jake elbowed him.
âHoonâlook.â
Sunghoon looked up to find you walking out of the convenience store, laughing at something Karina was saying. You looked tired, your eyes a little puffy as if youâd cried, but the moment you spotted the trio, your face transformed and his heart hurtâit actually hurt. The worry on your face vanished, replaced by a radiant, relieved smile. You took a step toward him, your eyes locking onto his with that familiar warmth. You looked so happy to see him. And that broke him.
Because to Sunghoon, that smile didnât look like love. It looked like relief of finding a close friend or something similar (he truly had been blindâan overthinker self sabotaging himself). He couldnât take it, he couldnât stand there and be the recipient of your pity.
âHoon?â You called out from a distance, your voice hopeful.
Sunghoonâs jaw tightened and he didnât wave, didnât smile back, he didnât even acknowledge the greeting. He turned his head sharply, breaking eye contact, and walked right back towards his dorm.
âSunghoon?â Jake hissed, grabbing at his sleeve, âwhat the fuck are you doing? Sheâs right there.â
Sunghoon ripped his arm away from Jakeâs grip, âIâm going back,â he muttered, his voice cold and flat.
He walked away, leaving you standing on the pavement with your hand half-raised, the smile sliding off your face. You watched his retreating back, the way his shoulders were hunched against the wind. Confusion washed over you firstâhad he not seen you? But no, he had looked you dead in the eye. He had seen your relief, your joy at seeing him alive, and he had looked at you with something that looked disturbingly like resentment. He justâwalked away.
The confusion hardened into something sharper. You had spent a week worrying, heck, you had been crying over him. You had defended him to those girls, you had sent texts that went unanswered, you had lost sleep wondering if he was okay. And he just walked away without even doing as much as acknowledging you.
âOkay,â you whispered to the empty air, lowering your hand, âokay, Park Sunghoon, be that way.â
If he wanted to act like you didnât exist after everything, fine. You turned back to Karina, your eyes dry and your expression steely, âletâs go,â you said, your voice devoid of the warmth you had reserved for him, âIâm done.â
You started walking as Karina looked back, glaring at Jay as if he couldâve done somethingâanything, but he was just as frozen, standing with Jake who could feel a headache forming in his head.
âThe fuck just happened?â Jake asked, and Jay shook his head.
âTwo of the nicest people Iâve met are acting like emotionless mannequins,â Jay mumbled, âIâve never seen him like this.â
âHe doesnât realize that Y/N meant wellâeven if the way she worded it hit him hard, can he stop being so difficult? Did he not see how happy she was to see him?â
âWellânow what?â
Jake shook his head with a sigh, âwe sufferâall of us.â
And suffer you did.
The days that followed didnât feel like time passing; they felt like a slow, suffocating slide into permafrost. The end-of-semester exams descended upon the campus providing the perfect, miserable backdrop for two people who were determined to freeze each other out.
The party was a distant, feverish memory, replaced by the stark reality of the library and 24-hour study halls. But if anyone thought the pressure of finals would distract you from the hollow ache in your chest, they were wrong. If anything, the silence of the study rooms only made the noise in your head louder.
You became efficient, terrifyingly so. You attended every lecture, submitted every lab report early, and sat in the front row with a posture so rigid it looked painful. You didnât laugh with Jaemin anymore, in fact, you barely spoke to anyone outside of necessary academic exchanges. You were over it, you told yourself, you were busy. You had a GPA to maintain and a future to build, and neither of those things required a boy who treated your concern like an insult.
But Karina knew better. She saw the way your eyes lingered on the back of a black hoodie in the cafeteria before snapping away. She saw the way you checked your phone every time it vibrated, only to toss it aside with a scowl when it wasnât him.
Across the quad, Sunghoon was disintegrating in his own way. He moved through the campus like a ghost, his headphones permanently glued to his earsâthough half the time, nothing was playing. He just didnât want to hear the world asking him if he was okay. He studied, or at least, he tried, staring at thermodynamics equations until the Greek letters started to look like your initials. He sat in the libraryânot at your table, never at your tableâbut in the far back corner, hidden behind the stacks. He told himself he was proving a point (he didnt even know what anymore).Â
But every time he drank black coffee (which he still hated) instead of banana milk, he felt a little piece of himself wither. He missed the warmth, he missed the way you used to look at him before he ruined it. Now, when you passed each other in the corridor, the air temperature seemed to drop ten degrees. There were no shy glances, no blushing ears. Just two strangers walking past each other with aggressive apathy, while their mutual friends trailed behind, looking like they wanted to scream.
âItâs like watching a car crash,â Jake whispered to Jungwon one afternoon in the library. They were watching Sunghoon stare blankly at a blank Word document.
âWorse,â Jungwon muttered, eyeing you across the room where you were aggressively highlighting a textbook without actually reading it, âItâs like watching two cars almost crashing but never quite reaching there, being stubborn and all.â
The tension came to a head on Tuesday night. The library was packed, the air thick with the smell of stress and stale caffeine. You were printing a paper, waiting for the machine to finish, when Sunghoon walked up to the adjacent printer. You didnât look at him and he didnât look at you (he did, and he swore under his breath seeing how pretty you looked wearing that skirt he loved).
The silence between you was louder than the whirring of the machines. You could smell himâthat damn cologne and clean laundry, and it made your eyes sting. You wanted to scream, you wanted to ask him why he was being such a coward, you wanted to hug himâkiss him.Â
Sunghoon stood rigid, his knuckles white as he gripped his folder. He could see you in his peripheral vision. You looked tired, he wanted to ask if you were sleeping. He wanted to offer you his jacket because the library was freezing, but the word harmless flashed in his mind like a warning sign. She doesnât want you, his brain supplied unhelpfully. She pities you.
Your printer beeped and you snatched your papers.
âExcuse me,â you said, your voice polite, as you stepped around him.
âSure,â he replied, his voice equally flat.
You walked away without looking back. Sunghoon watched you go, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribs that had absolutely nothing to do with physics and everything to do with the fact that he was miserably, hopelessly in love with the girl he was currently pretending to hate.
âI hate it here,â Jake groaned from a nearby table, dropping his head onto his open textbook, âI really, really hate it here.â
STEP ELEVEN: Let jealousy take the wheelÂ
âOh she looks beautiful!â
Jake and Jay kept on cooing, staring at the pictures Jungwon was showing themâpictures of you. Well, since the end sems were over, Karina had decided to do a mini photo shoot with you and Jungwon, and since it wasnât really a request, you had to comply.
Sunghoon was on the couch, heart hammering at the praises, but he didnât (couldnât) ask Jungwon to show him the pictures, which only made Jake compliment you harder. Jungwon shook his head, absolutely done with whatever was going on, he started screen sharing so the pictures would appear on the TV, and Sunghoon tried his best not to look up, but he did. For the first time in a while, his friends could see his eyes shining. You looked beautifulâyou always did, and good lord, Sunghoon missed youâcursing himself for behaving exactly how a child would.
He stared more, it was a pretty picture of you sitting on the grass and smilingâhowever, it didnât reach your eyes. Sunghoon wondered who were you smiling at, granted Karina was sitting on the other side of you. He saw a hand, a hand that did not look like Jungwonâs hand, and he felt even more nauseous at the image of some other man being there and making you smile.
You had been so detached from reality, you didnât understand itâyou hadnât processed just how attached youâd felt to Sunghoon, only for him to switch up midway, and you wondered how he was taking it.
He couldnât take it anymore. He stood up abruptly, muttering something about needing water, and retreated to the sanctuary of his room.
âThe kitchen is that way, Hoon,â Jay pointed out helpfully, gesturing in the opposite direction.
âMy room,â Sunghoon corrected, not breaking stride, âI haveâwater in my room.â
He sat on the edge of his bed, taking his MacBook out as he opened the one site that had guided him (poorly) through this entire semesterâWikiHow.
He started typing, what to do when youâve ruined everything with the girl you love and she thinks youâre a child.
No results.
He didnât give up, trying to find variants, how to fix a relationship when you ghosted her out of insecurity.
The algorithm struggled. Finally, he clicked the same one heâd been following all alongâhow to flirt with a pretty girl (with pictures). He scrolled past the ads to the last step which saidâIf it doesnât work out: accept that itâs over. If she says no or seems distant, respect her space and move onto a new girl.
Sunghoon stared at the screen. Move on to a new girl.
He slammed the laptop shut, he couldnât do that. The mere thought of looking at someone else, of trying to memorize someone elseâs coffee order or the way they laughed, made him feel physically ill. He didnât want new, he wanted you. He wanted the girl who called him Hoonie and defended him, even if her defense had shattered his ego into a million pieces, and he hid instead of proving her wrong.Â
He buried his face in his hands, he couldnât move on, but he didnât know how to move back.
Back in the living room, the atmosphere had shifted from admiration to, well, tactical planning.
âHeâs hopeless,â Jake said, staring at the closed door of Sunghoonâs room, âdid you see his face? He looked like a kicked puppy again.â
âWe canât keep doing this,â Jay agreed, leaning back and crossing his arms, âthe atmosphere in this dorm is insane. Sunghoon is miserable, Y/N is miserable, and Iâm tired of hearing sad playlists through the wall I swearâthey need to fuck it out.â
Jungwon disconnected his phone from the TV, a determined look on his face (before he gave Jay an odd look, of course), âwe need to force them into the same room.â
âHow?â Jake asked, âHoon wonât leave his room unless the building is on fire.â
âA party,â Jungwon said simply, âBeomgyu texted. Theyâre throwing a massive end of Exams bash in the Grand Suite downstairs like two days later, itâs the biggest dorm and everyone is going.â
âSunghoon hates parties,â Jay pointed out.
âExactly,â Jungwon smirked, âwhich is why we arenât asking himâweâre dragging him.â
âAnd Y/N?â
âKarina is already on it,â Jungwon said, holding up his phone to show a text confirmation, âsheâs bringing Y/N. The plan is simple honestly, just get them in the room. If they see each other, theyâll have to interactâif Y/N doesnât break, Hoon sure will.â
âSounds risky but okay,â Jake muttered.Â
âWell, do we have any other options?â Jay asked, only to be met with silence, âgreat, then operationâget them to fuck is a go.â
âI donât really like the operation nameââ
ââLeave the styling to me,â Jay said, spinning the keys around his finger as he headed for the door, his mission clear, âIâm going to the mall. He needs an edge. Iâm getting him a leather jacketââ
Jake and Jungwon shook their head, hoping it will work out for the better.Â
STEP TWELVE: Grand romantic (?) gestureÂ
âIâm not going,â you mumbled, staring at La La Land playing on your MacBook (again), and you knew well you were torturing yourself, calling it your coping mechanism.Â
Karina sighed, âyou need to let loose, itâs not the end of the world,â she muttered, snapping the laptop shut, âand watching Emma Stone get her heart broken for the fifth time this week isnât going to fix yours.â
âItâs not broken,â you lied, rolling over and burying your face into the pillow to muffle the waver in your voice, âItâs justâbruised. Badly.â
The thought gnawed at you. You remembered defending him with such ferocity, calling him innocent and harmless, painting a picture of a boy who was sweet and misunderstood. Now, lying in the dark, you felt like a fool. Maybe he wasnât misunderstood. Maybe he was just a guy who got bored and moved on, leaving you to dissect the silence he left behind.
âGet up,â Karina commanded, pulling the duvet off you, âBeomgyuâs party is starting, and I am not walking into that sweatbox alone. Besides, if heâs there, donât you want him to see what heâs missing? Do you really want him to think youâre rotting in bed over him?â
That struck a nerve, the indignation flared up, burning through the lethargy. You didnât want his pity, and you certainly didnât want him to think he had the power to dismantle your entire life with a week of silence (he did and you missed him). You sat up, pushing hair out of your face with a grim determination. It was amusing to the othersâwatching you and Hoon having this insane personality shift, but garnering feelings would do that to anyone, so they couldnât really question it.
âFine,â you snapped, though there was no real bite in it, âbut if I see him and he ignores me, Iâm gonna kiss the first guy i see after him.â
You were lying (obviously), you couldnât even imagine kissing anyone but him. At first it used to be sweet, you wanted to know if heâd smile into the kissâbut now? Now you wanted him to actually break and prove a point, which seemed a distant thought granted he wasnât even willing to look your way.Â
Sunghoon was undergoing the same thought process in his room where Jay had shoved a very expensive leather jacket his way with a simple command to dress up for the party which made no sense because Sunghoon hated parties, and somehow, he thought that you would not be thereâwould you? Then his mind drifted to the guy from the library and he realized that maybe you would be thereâthere with him.Â
âHeâs buffering again,â Heeseung noted from the doorway, watching Sunghoon stare at the leather jacket as if it were a sentient threat, âHoon, if you donât go, youâre just proving youâre a coward. Youâre going to let some other guy take your spot because youâre too busy sulking?â Â
Sunghoonâs head snapped up. The thought of Jaemin at the party, standing in the space he should be occupying, made his stomach do a violent flip. He realized that yes, you would be thereâand the thought of you being there with him was a catalyst that finally burned through his lethargy. Â
âFine,â Sunghoon gritted out, grabbing the jacket. He stood up, his height and the sharp lines of the leather making him look like a stranger even to his roommates.
âGreat,â Jay muttered, though he gave Sunghoon a lingering, skeptical look, âIâm not letting you leave that party until you open your mouth and say something that isnât an apology for existing.â
The walk down to Beomgyuâs suite was a blur of neon lights and thumping bass. The Grand dorm was the largest in the building, and tonight it was a humid, vibrating mass of people. Sunghoon felt like a passenger in his own body, his social anxiety acting like a lead weight, yet the leather jacket served as a suit of armor. He ended up leaning against the kitchenette counter, a red cup held in a white-knuckled grip, completely zoned out as the other boys left to find Jungwon to discuss the situation.Â
Despite his internal collapse, he looked devastating. A group of girls had already drifted toward him, laughing and brushing against his sleeves which he was not comfortable with, but he didnât hear a word they said. He was staring at the door, his heart hammering against his ribs in a frantic, desperate rhythm, not paying attention to the girl who clearly wanted a night with him, cause he had reserved that for someone else tonight (and forever if things worked out right).
He closed his eyes for a while, just standing there collecting his thoughts as the group watched from a distance, muttering about how they werenât even sure what to expect anymore, but gladly, Karina had informed them about their arrival, which Hoon missedâbut you did not miss the way he was there, as if put on display right there for you to feel even worse.
You turned away, your eyes stinging, desperate to find an exit, a drink, anything to numb the sudden spike of pain.
âWell, look who finally decided to show up.â
The voice was smooth, familiar, and right in your ear. You turned to see Jaemin standing there, a lazy, charming grin plastered on his face. He looked effortless, holding a drink in one hand, his posture relaxed and openâthe antithesis of the tension radiating from the kitchenette.
âHey, Jaemin,â you managed, though your voice sounded thin to your own ears.
âYou look incredible,â Jaemin said, stepping into your personal space with a confidence that felt practiced yet sincere. He tilted his head, his eyes crinkling at the corners, âthough you look like youâre plotting a murder, do you need an alibi?â
You let out a weak, breathy laugh, grateful for the distraction, âjust overwhelmed. Itâs loud in here.â
âIt is,â Jaemin agreed, leaning closer so you could hear him over the pounding bass, âIâm just feeling lucky to catch you without your usual entourage.â
Across the room, Sunghoon had opened his eyes again, now trying to find Jake, to inform him that he wishes to leave, especially when he couldnât find youâbut oh he did, and the static in Sunghoonâs brain cleared with a violent snap. He had been zoning out, letting the chatter of the girls around him fade into white noise, his mind a continuous loop of misery. But the moment his eyes landed on you, everything sharpened. He saw the way you lookedâbeautiful and somehow sad, and then he saw Jaemin.
He watched Jaemin lean in. He watched the easy familiarity, the way Jaemin smiled at you, the way you offered a small, reluctant smile in return. It was a smile Sunghoon hadnât earned in days. And then Jaemin reached out, his fingers brushing a lock of hair away from your face, his touch lingering near your cheek.
The innocent boy within him died right there. The harmless label incinerated in a flash of pure, blinding jealousy. Sunghoon didnât think about this, just felt a rush of adrenalineâwhich is why he felt so confident now, so sure of what he had to do, and it was interesting how one hormone could manage to switch up someone to such lengths.Â
He moved through the crowd with a purpose now, his eyes locked on Jaemin like a predator sighting a threat. He was like a storm front moving across the room. You were just about to answer Jaeminâs question when the air shifted. A shadow fell over you, and before you could turn, a heavy arm clamped around your waist, pulling you backward until you were flush against a hard, solid chest. The scent of expensive cologne and leather enveloped you instantly, drowning out the stale beer smell of the party.
Sunghoon stood behind you, his body a wall of heat, his grip on your waist possessive and unyielding. He wasnât looking at you. His dark, furious eyes were bored into Jaemin, his jaw set so tight a muscle feathered in his cheek.
âYou should leave now,â Sunghoon said, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous register that vibrated against your back, completely devoid of any stutter or hesitation, and for a minute, you just tried to process the situation, heart hammering in your chest.
Jaemin blinked, his smile faltering as he looked from the white-knuckled grip on your waist to Sunghoonâs icy glare, âIâm just catching up, Sunghoon. Relax.â
âConversationâs over,â Sunghoon snapped, his fingers digging into the silk of your dress, staking a claim that required no interpretation, âleave.â
And he did, knowing when to turn back and sent a wink towards Jungwon, who had put Jaemin up to thisâand it seemed as if their plan had worked, though, it was a hilarious sight to see the boys hiding at the back with their jaws hung wide open, Heeseung laughing freely.
âWhat the fuckâlet go of me, Sunghoon,â you almost screamed, trying to pry his hands off of you.Â
He didnât answer with words. Instead, he spun you around, his eyes dark and burning with this volatile mix of desperation and the remains of that blinding jealousy. He didnât look at the group of boys huddled near the drinks, whose jaws were indeed still dropped at the sudden, predatory shift in the guy they usually described as buffering, he only looked at you, his jaw set in that same tight line that suggested he was one second away from either shattering or exploding. Without a word, he grabbed your handâhis palm hot and slightly damp against yoursâand began weaving through the crowd, hauling you toward the exit.
âThe fuck are you doing?â You asked, stunned at his new behaviour.Â
âWeâre not doing this here,â he said, jaw clenched.Â
âOhânow you wanna talk, huh?â You seethedâbecause god, you were so angry, so confused and yet your heartbeat betrayed you because you were looking forward to what he had to say, what excuse he wished to use.
The walk up the stairs to the boysâ floor was a blur of cold concrete and the echoing sound of your heels. He didnât stop until he had reached his door, swinging it open and pulling you inside before slamming it shut with a finality that made the air in the small room feel suddenly very thin. The silence of the dorm was jarring after the chaos downstairs, but it wasnât a peaceful quiet, it was heavy and pregnant with everything that had been left unsaid since before the exams began. Â
âYou donât get to do that,â you snapped the moment he let go of your hand, the anger finally breaking through the shock, âyou do not get to treat me like Iâm invisible for weeks, ignoring my texts and walking past me in the library like Iâm a fucking ghost, only to act jealous because you saw me talking to someone else.â
Sunghoon paced the small space of his room, his hands shaking as he pushed them through his hair, successfully ruining the perfect styling Jay had insisted on, âI wasnât ignoring you on purpose,â he shot back, his voice cracking with a jagged edge you had never heard before, âI was stopping you from looking at him the way you used to look at me before you decided I was someone you couldnât even consider a man.â
âA man? What are you even talking about?â You yelled, stepping into his space, refusing to let him retreat into the mysterious silence he used as a shield, âI have spent weeks wondering what I did wrong! I was crying over you, Sunghoon. I defended you when everyone was asking why you were acting like this, only for you to ignore me right when I was there in front of you!â
âThatâs exactly the problem!â Sunghoon roared, finally stopping his pacing and turning to face you, his eyes glassy, âI heard you, Y/N. At the party before finals, I was right there in the hallway when you were telling those girls exactly what you think of me.â
You froze, the memory of the gossip squad cornering you flashing through your mind, âyeah? And whatâs wrong about it? I was defending you! They were calling you a fuckboy.â
âBy basically calling me whatâa loser?â He hissed, stepping closer until he was looming over you, the scent of his cologne and the leather jacket enveloping you, âI heard the words you used. You told them I was like a puppy, someone who trips over his own feet. You told them I drink banana milk because I canât handle coffee and that I have a twelve-step skincare routine. You made me sound like an incompetent child, Y/N.â
You could not believe itâall this crying, the heartbreak stemmed from you defending him? And he took it in the worst way possible, as if his mind could not admit you would love him the way he is, and formed a thought process that did irrevocable damage to both you and him.
âI said those things in a good light,â you screamed back, your own heart hammering against your ribs, âI called you sweet because I thought you were! I didnât know your ego was so fragile that youâd rather be seen as a villain than a person who actually cares about things!â
This conversation was not going the way you both had intendedâanger taking over and ruling all the other feelings out, yet none of you were ready to back down.
âItâs not about ego!â Sunghoon grabbed your wrists, pinning them against his chest so you could feel the violent, erratic rhythm of his heart, âItâs about the fact that Iâve been sitting in this room for days trying to be a man youâd actually desire, only to find out that you look at me with pity, you made me feel like I wasnât even an option for youâjust a clumsy loser you had fun to be around.â
âSo you decided to punish me instead of talking to me normally?â
âYeah, just like you forgot all about me the second Jaemin came into your life.â
âAre you fucking hearing yourself right now?â Your throat hurt with all the yelling, and you couldnât even back down, not when he was so close to you, âfine, if you donât want that to happen then stop acting like a coward and actually do something, fight for me, not against me!â
His hand shot out, not to grab your wrist this time, but to grip your chin, forcing your head up so you couldnât look awayâand god he looked so different, but his eyes were the same, sweet and gentle despite the anger, âI dragged you out of there because I couldnât stand the thought of anyone else having your attention. Iâm standing here, wrecking everything, screaming my lungs out because I am fighting, Y/N. Iâm fighting the urge to completely lose my mind.â
âThen show me,â you breathed, challenging him, your heart pounding so hard as the tip of his nose brushed against yours, âprove it to me youâre not the harmless boy I defended. Prove to me that you want me.â
He didnât need to be told twiceâheâd waited too long, and he couldnât say no when you stood there with watery eyes, chest heaving up and down, bottom lip bitten, and Sunghoon swears you look the prettiest you had ever looked. He had gone through myriad scenarios of this happening, none of them involved Sunghoon surging forward with his mouth crashing against yoursâwhich is exactly what happened.Â
It did not happen with the tentative sweetness of the boy you had defended in the hallway, but with a searing, desperate hunger that tasted of frustration and a few weekâs worth of repressed longing. He groaned into the kissâit felt good, too good as he let his lips convey what he couldnât, and it wasnât sweet, it was rather messy and uncoordinated, a collision that felt less like affection and more like a necessityâas if he were trying to breathe you in to keep from suffocating.
You stumbled back, your spine hitting the wood of the door with a dull thud, but he didnât let up. His hands were everywhereâone tangled tightly in the hair at the nape of your neck, tilting your head back to deepen the angle, the other gripping your waist with a bruising possession, anchoring you to him. He was heavy against you, a solid wall of heat and leather, and for a moment, the sheer shock of his intensity froze you, a shiver going down your spine, feeling the frustration radiating off him.
But then the indignation flaredâthe audacity of him to think he could solve this with physical force had you fighting back. You kissed him back with the same jagged intensity, your hands balling into fists against the lapels of that ridiculous jacket, pushing and pulling all at once. The kiss was an argument in itself, sharp and biting, stripped of any pretense of politeness.
He broke the contact with a ragged gasp, but he didnât really pull away. He buried his face in the sensitive crook of your neck, his breathing harsh and uneven against your skin, his lips grazing your pulse point, breath warming you up further, especially when he nibbled on your skin. You could feel him tremblingâfine tremors running through his frame that betrayed the facade he was trying so hard to maintain.
âI missed you,â he mumbled into your skin, the words thick and slurred, vibrating against your clavicle, âgod, I missed you so much it physically hurt.â
It was the vulnerability in his voiceâthe way it cracked on the confession, stripping away the anger to reveal the desperation underneathâthat finally undid you. You could feel the dampness of his eyelashes against your neck, a stark contrast to the aggression of moments before.
âYou have a terrible way of showing it, Sunghoon,â you whispered, your voice shaking, your hands slowly uncurling from his jacket, moving up to grip his shoulders to keep yourself upright.
âIâll show you, fuckâiâll show you everything,â he mumbled, pressing opened mouthed kisses over the expanse of your neck, making you gasp his name, to which he groaned, ââm not Sunghoon, call me Hoonie.â
âFuckââ
âTell me you missed meâtell me youâre feeling this too,â he hissed, which almost seemed like a plea against your lipsâespecially with the way he was holding your nape, looking right into your eyes.
âIâI did, Hoonie,â you mumbled against his lips, and he shook his head.
Itâs filthy how he leans in to bite your bottom lip, pulling you flush against him with ease, his right thigh settling in between your legs as he did so, making you whine, and he loves the sound, he loves it too fucking much to not pull you into another kiss to absorb each sound youâre giving him so lovingly (at least he thinks so).Â
âCâmonâsay it,â he urged, pulling your lower lip before letting go, a string of saliva connecting you both regardless. Â
âWhat happened to you?â You breathed out, knees threatening to give out as you held on to Sunghoonâs shoulder, who only chuckled.
âDid you really think I was a virgin? That Iâm someone who canât make you feel good, hm? As if I hadnât thought about having you close before,â he leaned in again, and this time, you could see how calm he was, âIâm still the same manâjust this time, Iâm desperate to please you.â
Your eyes widened, pressing your thighs together only to cage Hoonâs leg harder, shoulders curling in, âHoonie, you donât have toââÂ
âShhâjust be good for me tonight, I really really want to kiss you again.â He couldnât help but express his feelings, âyou look so pretty, so pretty I swear,â he grunts, and he swears itâs intoxicating the way you taste, how he can feel your pulse as he sucks on skin. His lips linger on your neck, sucking gently at the tender skin, drawing out the heat that blooms under his touch. The pull of his mouth is unhurried, deliberate, each drag of his tongue sending a fresh wave of warmth spreading through your veins. You feel the rapid thump of your own pulse against his lips, matching the erratic beat of your heart, and it makes your breath hitch in your throat.
âSay it, baby,â he murmurs.
âI missed youâwas waiting for you,â you whined, and he swore, the way you said it sent this insane feeling down his cockâwhich twitched with need.
One of his hands stays firm at the nape of your neck, fingers threading through your hair with a possessive grip that grounds you, while the other slides slowly down your side. His palm flattens against your ribcage, thumb brushing the underside of your breast through your shirt, tracing the curve with feather-light pressure. The fabric bunches slightly under his exploration, and you arch into the contact without thinking, a soft whimper escaping as the sensation teases your nipple into a tight peak.
âGod, your body responds to me like itâs been waiting,â he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and rough, laced with that raw need that's starting to unravel you both. His breath fans hot over the damp spot heâs left on your neck, making you shiver, and he presses closer, his chest rising and falling against yours in sync with your quickening breaths, âthought about this so muchâthought about you all the time, fuck! Pretty, yeah just keep your eyes on me.â
You can feel the hard line of his cock straining against the front of his jeans, pressing insistently into your hip as he shifts his weight. Itâs a solid reminder of his arousal, thick and unyielding, and the knowledge sends a flush of heat straight to your core, your pussy clenching with empty wantâmind still trying to process the situation. Your hands, still clutching his shoulders, slide down tentatively, fingers splaying over the firm planes of his chest, feeling the rapid thud of his heart beneath the leather jacket. The material is cool and smooth under your palms, juxtaposing the feverish warmth of his body seeping through.
âThought you got bored of me,â you gasped out.
âCould neverâI thought about you each fucking day, each second.â
He groans softly at your touch, the sound vibrating through him and into you, and his hand at your side dips lower, cupping your hip with a squeeze that borders on bruising. His fingers dig into the soft flesh there, kneading slowly, pulling you tighter against him so that his thigh remains wedged firmly between your legs. The pressure against your clothed pussy is maddeningâsubtle friction that builds with every tiny shift, making your clit ache for more direct contact.
âHoonie,â you whisper, your voice trembling with the mix of lingering frustration and surging desire, your nails scraping lightly over his jacket as you grip him harder. The vulnerability in his earlier confession lingers in the air, softening the edges of your indignation, and now itâs just the two of you, bodies communicating what words canât quite capture.
He lifts his head from your neck, eyes dark and intense as they meet yours, pupils blown wide with lust and something deeperâlonging perhaps, or the fear of losing this again. His free hand moves up, cupping your face, thumb stroking your cheekbone before trailing down to trace your jaw, then your throat. The touch is reverent, almost tender, but thereâs an undercurrent of hunger in the way his fingers linger, pressing just enough to feel your swallow.
âI need to touch you everywhere,â he confesses, his voice cracking slightly on the words, and before you can respond, his mouth claims yours again. This kiss is slower than the last, exploratoryâhis tongue sliding against yours in languid strokes, tasting and teasing without the frantic edge. You melt into it, your body going pliant as his hand on your hip ventures bolder, slipping under the hem of your dress to caress the bare skin of your waist.
His palm is soft, and the texture against your smooth skin makes you gasp into the kiss. He takes the opportunity to deepen it, tongue curling around yours as his fingers spread wide, exploring the dip of your waist, the slight curve of your lower back. Each inch he claims feels electric, igniting nerves you didnât know were so sensitive, and you press your thighs together around his leg, seeking relief from the growing wetness soaking your panties. The friction only heightens the ache, your pussy throbbing with each subtle grind, and he noticesâgod, he notices everything. A low hum of approval rumbles from his chest, and his hand under your dress inches higher, thumb grazing the edge of your bra. He doesnât push further yet, just circles the underwire with agonizing slowness, feeling the way your breath stutters, the way your nipple strains against the lace.
âTell me what you feel,â he pulls back just enough to whisper, forehead resting against yours, his eyes searching your face. His other hand leaves your face to join the first, both now under your dress, palms sliding up your sides in tandem, thumbs brushing the sides of your tits, all while he tries to memorize every inch of you, the most perfect girl for him.
âYouâeverywhere,â you manage, voice breathy, your hands moving to his waist, tugging at the hem of his shirt to feel the heat of his skin, âyour handsâitâs too much and not enough, i need you, baby.â The confession spills out, raw and honest, mirroring his earlier vulnerability, and it seems to spur him on.
He chuckles softly once heâs done groaning causeâfuck, heâs been waiting to hear that, to have you to him. And finally, his big, veiny hands cup your breasts fully, squeezing with a firm pressure that has you moaning into his mouth as he kisses you again. His thumbs flick over your nipples through the bra, back and forth, hardening them further until they're aching points of need. The groping is thorough, unhurriedâhe kneads the soft flesh, feeling their weight in his palms, rolling them gently as if memorizing every curve.
âSo the girls were rightâah,â you whine.
âNo,â he breathed out, âIâm like this just for you, just because of you.â
Your hips rock against his thigh instinctively, the seam of your panties rubbing against your clit, and the spark of pleasure makes you clench around nothing, arousal trickling down your thighs. He feels the movement, presses his leg harder to encourage it, his own cock twitching against you in response. The air between you thickens with the scent of your combined arousal, heavy and intoxicating, and his kisses trail back to your neck, nipping lightly as his hands continue their worship.
âSo responsive,â he breathes, one hand slipping around to your back, fingers working at the clasp of your bra with practiced ease. It gives with a soft snap, and he wastes no time pushing the straps down your shoulders, exposing your tits to the cool air. Goosebumps prickle your skin, but his mouth is there immediately, hot and wet, latching onto one nipple while his hand covers the other, âfucking prettyâall fucking mine.â
He sucks gently at first, tongue swirling around the peak, teeth grazing just enough to send jolts straight to your core. Your pussy pulses with each pull of his mouth, wetness seeping further, and you thread your fingers into his hair, holding him close. The feelings crash over youâthe possessiveness in his grip, the desperation in his touches, the way his body trembles slightly against yours, betraying how much he needs this reconnection as much as you do.
âSeems like you have a lot of experience,â you mumbled, looking elsewhere.Â
He smirked against you, âis my baby jealous?â
âNoâfuck,â you whined as he let his free hand roams lower again, palming your ass through your panties, squeezing the cheek hard enough to make you gasp. He kneads it slowly, pulling you tighter against his thigh, guiding your movements as you grind, the friction building that sweet, torturous pressure, âthatâs it, feel how much I want you, only you,â he murmurs against your breast, voice muffled, before switching sides, giving the other nipple the same devoted attention, and fucking hellâhe was in love with you, absolutely there to hear each sound you make and every movement of your body in response to him.Â
Every touch, every grope, layers the intimacy, stripping away the walls between you, leaving only the raw, aching need to be closer, to feel more.
He pulls back from your breast with a wet pop, his eyes dark and feral as they lock onto yours, âget on the bed, baby. Now,â he growls, voice thick with command, and you stumble back with him, legs shaky from the grinding, your soaked panties clinging to your pussy lips as he shoves you toward the mattress. You hit the soft sheets on your back, bra discarded somewhere on the floor, tits bouncing free.
His body follows, crashing over yours, knees pinning your thighs apart. Those veiny hands dive straight for your naked tits (which he seemed to love, especially wanting to mark them), squeezing hardâfingers digging into the soft flesh, thumbs crushing your nipples until you arch and cry out, âfuck, these tits are so perfect,â he mutters, leaning down to bite one peak sharp enough to sting, his fangs sinking in while his tongue flicks the tip. Pain mixes with heat, shooting straight to your clit, and you buck under him, pussy clenching empty and desperate, repeating his name as you find yourself wetter than ever, and he had barely touched youâyou really fucking needed him.
His fingers press deep into your skin, bruising your waist as he kneads them like he owns every inchâbecause he does, tonight, tomorrow, always, all him to ravage, âyou love this, donât you? Watching me go crazy over you, fuck,â he rasps against your skin, breath hot, his free hand sliding down to grip your hip, nails scraping.
Your hips jerk up anyway, grinding your drenched panties against his thigh, the fabric sodden now, rubbing your swollen clit with every desperate roll. Wetness seeps through, coating his jeans, and you feel his cock twitch hard against your side, âyeah, keep going, doing so fucking well for me, câmon, rub yourself before I lose it and fuck you dumb,â he taunts, pressing his thigh firmer into your pussy, forcing the friction deeper. You moan loud, fingers clawing at his shoulders, the ache building fast, your core pulsing with slick heat.
âPleaseâHoonie, youâre insane,â you mumbled, biting his shoulder to conceal your moans, âwant you, Iâve always wanted you.â
He chuckles dark despite the way he felt butterflies in his abdomen, cause god, he literally fell for you at first sight, only to truly fall for you with each passing interaction. And now? He wanted to show you exactly how good he can make you feelâleaning in low, shoving your legs wider with his knee, âenough teasing. I want that dripping cunt bare and pretty for me.â His hands hook into your panties, yanking them down rough, the elastic snapping against your thighs before he rips them off completely, tossing them aside. Cool air hits your exposed pussy, lips puffy and glistening, arousal dripping down to the bed sheet. He spreads you wide, knees hooking under yours, thumbs parting your folds to stare at your slick hole, eyes shining, âfuckâlook at this messy pussy, begging for my tongue, all fucking mine, yeah?â
Before you can gasp, his head dives between your legs, mouth latching onto your cunt like a starving man, licking a stripe from your hole up to your clit before going down again. His tongue thrusts deep inside, fucking your hole with wet, urgent strokes, lapping up your juices as they flood out. You scream, back bowing off the bed, hands fisting the sheets while he devours youâsucking your clit hard, then plunging back in, tongue curling against your walls, âtaste so fucking good, all wet and ready for me,â he groans into your pussy, vibrations humming through you, his stubble scraping your inner thighs raw.
âGodââ
âNo god, just me,â he groaned against you.
He eats you out relentlessly, nose bumping your clit as his tongue spears deeper, slurping noisily at your folds. Fingers join in, two thick ones shoving into your pussy alongside his tongue, stretching you, pumping hard while he bites your labia lightly, tugging. Your hips buck wild, grinding into his face, soaking his chin with your cum, âthatâs it, fuck my mouthâcome all over it,â he demands, voice muffled but commanding, free hand reaching up to pinch your nipple again, twisting until tears prick your eyes.
âGodâfeels so good, ahâslow downââ
Pleasure coils tight in your gut, his dominance flooding youâthe way he holds you open, owns your body with every rough lick and thrust. He pulls back just enough to spit on your clit, rubbing it in with his thumb before diving back, tongue flicking fast, fingers curling to hit that spot inside that makes you see stars, âstop? Oh babyâyouâre mine to fuck, mine to eat, gonna make this pussy squirt before I ram my cock in, yeah? Gonna claim you, make you forget about anyone else who had you before me,â his words hit like slaps, so very dirty and possessive, pushing you closer to the edge.
You bit your lip, trying to rile him up even further, âyou sure you canâah!âÂ
He slapped your cunt, making you arch off the mattress, making you cry, moans turning to pleas, his mouth working you harder, rougherâsucking your clit like heâs trying to bruise it, tongue fucking your hole until your thighs quake around his head. He doesnât stop, doesnât ease up, just dominates your pleasure, drawing out every drop of slick, every shudder. The room reverberates with the wet sounds of his feast, your cries echoing, bodies slick with sweat and need. But heâs not doneâfar from it, his cock grinding against the mattress now, hungry for more than just your taste.
âSure I can, and I will.â Sunghoon doesnât remember the last time he felt so feral, perhaps never before, perhaps this was just for you, and he didnât mind especially when you were spread out so pretty for him, reacting to every bit of him, he fucking loved itâhe loved you. He grabs your hips suddenly, dragging you back down the bed with a rough yank, your ass sliding over the sheets as he positions you right where he wantsâlegs splayed wide, pussy exposed and dripping onto the mattress. His big, veiny hands clamp onto your thighs, thumbs digging into the soft flesh to spread your soaking slit wide open, folds parting with a wet schlick, your clit throbbing in the cool air
âStay fucking still, baby,â he snarls, eyes locked on your glistening hole, arousal leaking out in thick strings. Before you can catch your breath, his head drops again, mouth crashing against your cunt like heâs starving for it.
His tongue buries deep inside you in one brutal thrust, spearing into your walls, lapping up the fresh flood of juices with savage hunger. He sucks hard on your inner folds, pulling them into his mouth, teeth grazing just enough to sting while his tongue flicks wildly against your entrance. The suction pulls at your core, making your pussy clench around nothing, and you cry out, hips jerking up to grind against his face. Slurping sounds fill the room, obscene and wet, his stubble scraping your sensitive skin raw as he devours you deeper, nose pressing into your clit with every forceful lick.Â
âThis cuntâs mine, hm? Gonna eat it till you canât walk, gonna show you how sorry I am,â he mutters right into your slit, the vibration rumbling through your nerves, sending shocks up your spine, âsorry, baby. Sorry my pretty girlâhm, so fucking sorry. Youâre mine and Iâm not fucking sorry about that.â
You arch off the bed, fingers twisting in his silky hair, pulling him closer even as the intensity borders on too much. His tongue thrusts in and out, curling to scoop out more of your slick, swallowing it down with greedy gulps, sucking your clit between his lips and biting down lightly, making you scream. Pleasure-pain explodes, your thighs trembling around his head, but he pins you harder, dominance radiating from every rough movementâowning your body, forcing ecstasy on you whether you can take it or not.
Without warning, he shoves two thick fingers inside you, knuckles deep in one brutal push, stretching your walls wide around the intrusion. Your pussy grips them tight, sucking him in as he starts pumping fastâcurling and twisting, slamming against that spot inside that makes your vision go blur.Â
âFuck, so tight and wetâgood fucking girl, stay this way, hm?â He rasps, mouth still latched on your clit, sucking hard while his fingers piston in and out, the wet squelch echoing with every thrust. Juices coat his hand, dripping down to soak the sheets, and you buck wildly, the stretch burning sweet as he adds a third finger, scissoring them to open you up more.
âFucking crazy, what happened to clumsy Hoon?â You breathed.Â
âGone for now.â
His cock throbs hard against your thigh now, the thick length straining through his pants, hot and leaking pre-cum that smears sticky on your skin. He grinds it there deliberately, humping your leg like an animal in heat while he finger-bangs you relentlessly, thumb circling your clit in rough swirls.Â
âFeel that? My dickâs aching to split you open, but first Iâm gonna make this pussy gush all over my face, need to taste you,â he keeps on mumbling against you, voice muffled against your folds, breath hot and ragged.Â
You drown in the raw lust, moans spilling loud and broken from your lips, every nerve firing as he devours you deeper. The pressure builds unbearable, your hips rolling desperately into his mouth, chasing the edge as waves of heat crash through you. Sweat slicks both your bodies, the air thick with the musk of sexâyour arousal, his sweat. You claw at the sheets, thighs shaking, the dominance in his grip holding you down as pleasure rips you apart.Â
âCanât anymore, pleaseââ
âCome on, pretty girl, cum on my tongue, let me taste you,â he demands, voice gravelly, tongue flicking your clit one last time before sealing his lips around it, humming low to vibrate through your core.
The orgasm hits you like crazy, your walls clenching hard around his fingers, gushing slick that he laps up hungrily, not missing a drop. You thrash and sob, body convulsing under his relentless ministrations, but even as the aftershocks ripple, he keeps pumping slow now, drawing it out, his cock still grinding insistently against your thigh, and you wondered what happened to the clumsy boy you knew, and why was he a fucking beast in bed for realânot knowing how he wasnât really sure himself, just drunk in your essence probably? Or too fucking adamant to make you feel good, prove something even though you wanted him regardless.Â
âThatâs oneânow Iâm gonna fuck you raw till you beg for me to stop.â
Wellâfuck. He was too good at this, cause you were left speechless, staring at how spent he looked, pulling back just enough to meet your dazed eyes, lips shiny with your juices, hunger far from sated, and eyes darker than everâhe looked insanely hot.Â
Sunghoonâs gaze holds yours captive, that predatory glint in his eyes sending fresh shivers racing down your spine. His lips curve into a smirk, wicked and knowing, as he wipes a stray bead of your essence from his chin with the back of his hand, never breaking eye contact. The air between you crackles, thick with the scent of sex and sweat, your breaths mingling in the charged space. You can still feel the ghost of his fingers inside you, the way they curled just right, coaxing every last tremor from your core. But heâs not doneânot by a long shot. That insistent press of his cock against your thigh grows bolder, the heat of it branding your skin, a silent vow of whatâs to come.
âSpeechless already?â He teases, his voice a husky rumble that vibrates through your chest. He leans in closer, his nose brushing yours in an almost tender gesture, a stark contrast to the feral hunger etched on his face, âI thought you wanted me to show you exactly how much I want you, hm? Will you be satisfied when Iâm buried in deep?â His words drip with challenge, laced with that raw affection youâve always known from himâthe clumsy stumbles, the shy smilesâbut twisted now into something intoxicatingly dominant.
You swallow hard, your throat dry despite the slick mess between your legs. The room spins a little, your body still humming from the high, but his proximity grounds you, pulls you back into the moment, âHoonieââ you manage, your voice a breathy whisper, fingers twitching at your sides as if unsure whether to push him away or pull him in. The old him flickers in your mindâthe boy who tripped over his own feet during movie nights, who blushed when your hands brushed accidentally. How had he transformed? It was like unleashing a storm youâd never seen brewing.
He chuckles low, the sound vibrating against your collarbone as he trails open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, savoring the salt of your skin, âyeah? Say my name like that again when Iâm fucking you senseless.âÂ
His hand slides up your thigh, possessive and unhurried, fingers digging in just enough to leave faint marksâreminders that youâll feel tomorrow, a secret map of this night. He stopped just for a minute, and you watched him take off his pants and boxers in a go, your eyes widening in process as you watched him undress, the dim lights accentuating every inch of himâeven the ones you wondered whether youâll be able to handle or not.
He hooks your leg over his hip, opening you up further, the tip of his cock now teasing your entrance, slick with your arousal and his own pre-cum. The anticipation builds like a slow fuse, every shallow nudge sending sparks skittering through your nerves.
âPlease,â you murmur, the word escaping before you can stop it, your hips arching instinctively toward him. Itâs not beggingânot yetâbut itâs close, the vulnerability cracking through your haze. You want to unravel him too, to see that beast roar, but god, the way he looks at you, like youâre the only thing anchoring himâit makes your heart clench alongside the ache low in your belly.
Sunghoon pauses, his breath hitching, eyes softening for a fraction of a second as he searches your face. Thereâs that tenderness again, peeking through the cracks of his intensityâa silent question, a check-in amid the storm, âyou okay, baby?â He asks, voice dropping to a gravelly whisper, his thumb stroking soothing circles on your hip. Itâs so him, this blend of fire and care, and it only makes you want him more.
âMore than good,â you reply, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his damp hair, tugging lightly to bring his mouth back to yours. The kiss starts soft, exploratory, lips brushing like a shared secret, but it ignites quickly, tongues tangling with renewed urgency. You taste yourself on him, musky and intimate, and it fuels the fire, your free hand roaming down his chest, nails scraping over the ridges of his abs.
He groans into your mouth, the sound raw and needy, breaking the kiss to nip at your lower lip, âfuck, Y/Nâyou drive me crazy. Always have.â With that admission hanging between you, he shifts his hips, the head of his cock pressing insistently now, parting your folds with deliberate slowness. Inch by torturous inch, he sinks into you and it takes a while, leaving the room with reverberations of your moans and groans as you accommodate to his size, the stretch burning sweetly, your walls yielding to his thickness. You gasp against his shoulder, biting down to muffle the sound, but he doesnât let you hideâhis hand cups the back of your neck, forcing your eyes to meet his as he bottoms out, fully sheathed.
âLook at me,â he demands, though his voice wavers with the effort of holding still, letting you adjust, âfeel how perfect you are? Made for thisâfor me.âHis forehead rests against yours, breaths syncing in the intimate cocoon of your bodies. The fullness is overwhelming, every pulse of him echoing through you, but itâs the emotion in his stare that hits hardestâthe need of wanting you. Lovers entangled in a way that feels inevitable.
You nod, words failing as you clench around him experimentally, drawing a hiss from his lips, âSunghoonâmove. Please, I needââ
âI know what you need, baby,â he cuts in, voice strained, and then heâs movingâslow at first, a languid roll of his hips that grinds against that spot inside you, building the tension like embers catching flame. Each thrust is measured, deep, his cock dragging along your sensitive walls, the friction sparking pleasure that coils tighter with every pass. His hand slips between you, thumb finding your clit with unerring accuracy, circling in time with his rhythm.
âLike that?â He murmurs, lips ghosting your ear, his free arm wrapping around your waist to hold you flush against him. The position is intimate, chest to chest, hearts pounding in tandem, but thereâs nothing gentle about the way he picks up speed, hips snapping forward with increasing force. The wet sounds of your joining fill the room, obscene and arousing, mingling with your shared moans.
âYesâgod, yes,â you cry out, head falling back as the pleasure mounts, your nails digging into his shoulders for purchase.
âNo baby, say my name,â he chuckles when you do so on repeat, and heâs relentless now, the beast fully unleashed, pounding into you with a ferocity that borders on punishing, yet every so often he slows, grinding deep, whispering praises that melt your bones, âso tightâso wet for me. Youâre gonna cum again, arenât you, love? Milk my cock until I canât hold back.â
The words push you higher, your body responding with a flood of heat, slick coating him as you chase the edge. You can feel him everywhereâhis sweat-slicked skin sliding against yours, the musky scent of him overwhelming your senses, the way his breath stutters when you squeeze around him. Itâs raw, but threaded with that emotional undercurrent, the clumsy boy proving himself not through words, but through this worship of your body.
âSunghoon, Iâmâfuck, Iâm close,â you gasp, your voice breaking as the coil snaps taut. He senses it, angles his hips just right, thumb pressing harder on your clit, and the world fractures. Your orgasm crashes over you, fiercer than the last, walls fluttering wildly around him as you sob his name, body arching in ecstasy. Stars burst behind your eyelids, pleasure radiating from your core in endless waves.
He doesnât stop, riding it out with you, his thrusts erratic now as your release triggers his own, âthatâs it, babyâcum on me. Fuck, you feel so goodââ
With a guttural groan, he buries himself deep one final time, spilling hot inside you, his cock pulsing with each spurt. His body shudders against yours, arms tightening like a vice, as if afraid youâll slip away in the haze, in awe of how you clenched harder, squirting all over his cock and abdomen, which is something you had never really done before.
For a long moment, you stay locked together, breaths ragged, the afterglow wrapping around you like a warm blanket. He presses soft kisses to your temple, your cheek, murmuring nonsense words of adoration, âyouâre incredible,â he breathes.
He watches you staring at him with your pretty eyes, and now, he feels shy, yet not ready enough to part ways, so he settles with hiding his pretty face in your neck, trying to be impossibly close to you, licking the spots heâd marked earlier, making you giggle slightly, his own smile blooming when he hears that, and somehow, everything feels right again. With you playing with his hair, he giggles, and the switch up in his demeanour amuses you, because the fiercely jealous guy who dragged you out of the party had entirely melted back into the sweet boy youâd been missing for weeks.
âYouâre like two different people, Hoonie,â you whisper, your fingers gently detangling the dark strands at the nape of his neck.
He hums a low, contended sound that vibrates against your skin. He shifts his weight, wrapping his arms even more securely around your waist to pull you flush against him, as if heâs terrified you might still disappear if he loosens his grip.
âIâm just me,â he murmurs, his voice muffled against your skin. Slowly, he lifts his head. His cheeks are dusted with a pretty, shy pink flush, and his dark eyes are incredibly soft, completely devoid of the panic or anger that had clouded them earlier. He looks at you with a vulnerability that makes your breath hitch.
âI didnât know what I was doing, Y/N,â he confesses, his thumbs gently stroking the sides of your waist. He swallows hard, âI was so desperate for you to see me as a man you could desire, not just some harmless puppy you felt sorry for. IâI actually looked up a guide.â
You blink, your hands stilling in his hair, âa guide?â
Sunghoon groans, dropping his forehead against your shoulder as if trying to hide from his own embarrassment, âWikiHow,â he mumbles, âhow to flirt with a pretty girl, uhâwith pictures.â
The room goes completely silent for a second. You stare down at the top of his dark head, your brain struggling to process the information.
âWait,â you breathe out, the pieces suddenly snapping together in your mind, âthe staring contest at the pub during trivia night?â
âStep one: Make eye contact,â he grumbles miserably.
âThe voice note asking me to get boba, and then immediately inviting Jake and Jay?â
âI panicked because the guide said not to come on too strong. I used them as human shields.â
A massive, overwhelming swarm of butterflies suddenly erupts in your stomach. The guy who looks like he belongs on a runway, was secretly reading step-by-step internet articles because he was so nervous around you. It is the most endearingly pathetic, incredibly sweet thing you have ever heard in your entire life. You canât help itâa laugh bubbles up in your chest, bright and genuine.
Sunghoon flinches slightly, his grip tightening, âdonât laugh at me,â he whines, sounding exactly like a babie, âJake and Heeseung already found it on my laptop and roasted me for it. It was humiliating.â
âHoonie,â you laugh softly, cupping his face and forcing him to look up at you. His eyes are wide and entirely unguarded, âyou didnât need any of that. The steps didnât make me like youâyou made me like you.â
He searches your face, clearly searching for any trace of pity, but only finding absolute adoration, âreally?â
âReally,â you promise, your thumbs brushing over his sharp cheekbones, âI didnât fall for the guy trying to be a smooth, mysterious flirt. I fell for the guy who fought the doorframe and lost, the guy who shared his umbrella in the rain, and the guy who sang Disney songs with me in the park. You never needed a guide, Sunghoon, I wanted you.â
A beautiful, relieved smile breaks across his face, the one that reaches his eyes and shows off his cute fangs. He leans into your touch, completely melting into your space, âI like you so much it makes my brain short-circuit,â he breathes out, his forehead resting against yours, âIâm entirely, hopelessly down bad for you, Y/N.â
âI really really like you too, you puppy,â you whisper, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to his lips as he whined, making your eyes wide, âoh youâre into thatââ
âUhâiâll get you some water,â he panicked, getting up, cock slipping out of you, and entirely forgetting about the clothes sprawled all over the floor, which made him yelp as he fell down.Â
You laughed freely, cause gosh, you really were falling for this man. Grabbing his leather jacket, you wore it as he tried to hide himself with embarrassment. It was a stupid choice to get up when your legs were not stable, because it resulted in you wobbling and falling right over hoon, the jacket doing nothing to hide your body, pressed against his so perfectly. Now, it was his turn to chuckle as he grabbed a strand of your hair, kissing it sweetly.
âDamn, was i that good?â He smirked, clearly loving the way you were hiding your face in his neck now.
âOh shut up, puppy,â you mumbled, and he held on to you tighter.
âWellâthis puppy isnât done with you. Câmon baby, let me help you shower.â
Safe to say, you did much more than just showering, and even though exhaustion took over, sleep wasnât something you entertained, pecking each other sweetly all night, acting clingier than ever, and honestly?
You wouldnât have it any other way.
MEANWHILE:
Jay rattled the handle one more time, putting his shoulder into it just to be absolutely sure. He slowly turned his head to look at Jake and Heeseung in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the hallway.
âHe locked it,â Jay said, his voice completely flat.Â
Jake pressed his forehead against the heavy wood door, looking genuinely heartbroken, âyouâve got to be kidding meâtell me youâre kidding. My bed is in there, Jay, my toothbrush, my entire life.â
âI donât care about your toothbrush, Jake,â Jay snapped, rubbing his temples, âI care about the fact that we are currently homeless because Sunghoon final-fucking-ly figured out how to flirt.â
Heeseung didnât even argue, he had already accepted his fate, sliding down the wall until he hit the floor. He lay flat on his back, staring blankly at the sky, âI planned this,â I muttered, âI planned the whole party with Beomgyu, and my reward is the floor.â
Down the hall, Jungwon and Karina stepped out, stopping dead in their tracks as they took in the tragic scene. Jungwon let out a loud snort, crossing his arms, âwow, look at this sad display. You guys look pathetic.â
Heeseung immediately sat up, he scrambled over to Karina, looking up at her with giant, desperate eyes, âKarina please, have mercy.â
Karina took a step back, âwhat are you doing?â
âY/Nâs bed is empty,â Heeseung pleaded, âiâm a great houseguest. I will literally buy your coffee for a weekâdo not leave me out here in the hallway with them.â
Karina looked down at Heeseung, then over at Jay and Jake, who were staring at her like abandoned stray dogs. She let out a long, suffering sigh, âfine, get up. Heeseung, you can take Y/Nâs bed. But just you.â
âBless you,â Heeseung whispered, jumping up and sprinting before she could change her mind.
Jungwon shook his head as they all made your way towards their dorm, looking entirely too amused as he walked over to unlock his own bedroom door down the hall, âwell, good luck on the carpet, you two. Build a fort or something.â
He turned the key and pushed his door open. But the second the lock clicked, Jay and Jake exchanged a single, desperate look. Pure survival instincts kicked in, and no words were needed. Before Jungwon could even step inside, Jay and Jake shoved past him, rushing into the room like they were escaping a burning building.
âHey! What theââ Jungwon yelled, spinning around.
It was too late. Jake was already laid across Jungwonâs mattress like a starfish, pulling the duvet up to his chin, while Jay wedged himself against the wall side of the bed, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing heavily to fake being asleep.
âYou canât kick us out!â Jake screamed, hair disheveled.Â
âIâm asleep!â Jay announced loudly, âso deep in sleep.â
Jungwon stood in the doorway of his own bedroom, staring at the two fully grown men currently occupying his mattress. He looked at Jakeâs death grip on the blanket. He looked at Jay, who was very clearly peeking with one eye. The silence stretched for three agonizing seconds.
Jungwon just let out a long, deeply exhausted sigh, slowly reaching over and grabbing a single throw pillow off his desk chair, and turned on his heel.
âI hate all of you,â Jungwon muttered flatly, dragging his feet out into the living room to sleep on the couch.
lil sumn i wrote, basically thinking of yn (queen) js being sad about her loveless marriage and sitting under the moonlight, thinking about the flirty poems the jester has been writing for her:
a soft rustle overhead made you lift your gaze. suddenly a gentle rain of crimson rose petals drifted down from the balcony above, landing all over your hair and across the silk of your robe. you gasped, one hand catching a petal against your chest, looking up.
jake stood on the narrow balcony ledge directly above you, moonlight carved his handsome face, dark hair tousled, full lips curved in that signature cocky smirk, eyes gleaming with wicked delight as he looked down at you, a small basket of petals dangled from one gloved hand.
âeven the moon cannot resist scattering beauty at your feet, your majesty,â he called down softly, âthough i confess i helped her a little. you look like a goddess crowned in rosesâor a queen who has been thinking far too much about a certain foolâs verses.â
your heart hammered as you lifted your chin, regal even with petals tangled in your hair, âyou risk a great deal, jester, climbing where you do not belong. what if the guards had seen?â
âthen they would have witnessed a fool paying homage to the only queen worth losing his head for,â his smirk deepened, gaze dragging slowly over the lines of your body beneath the robe, the way the silk clung to the swell of your breasts, âso tell me, did my latest poems find you, my queen?â
heat flooded your cheeks as you clutched the petal tighter at the memory of his filthy verses, âyou are shameless.â
âand you are here beneath the balcony at midnight,â he leaned forward, âtell me trulyâdoes the king still leave you empty? or do my words fill the space he cannot?â
you opened your mouth, a rebuke on your tongue, but the words died when he blew you a single, deliberate kiss and let another handful of petals drift down like a caress.
âdream of me tonight,â he whispered, âi will be dreaming of youâthose tresses wrapped around my fist and that pretty body trembling beneath mine.â then, with a final cocky wink, he melted back into the shadows of the balcony, bells faintly chiming as he vanished.