can't repeat

jay nassar, one and only son of jafar. dominator of the tourney field. roar champion. the kids are learning from the best. thief with a heart of gold.

[jaynassar]

text 💬 jayvie

Jay: just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life 😎

[jaynassar]

text 💬 jaytani

Jay: The last time I heard someone say ‘YOLO,’ I ended up getting arrested for pole dancing in the middle of a shopping mall. Too soon.

[jaynassar]

text 💬 jaudrey

Jay: You know, I keep feeling as though something's not right...

Jay: Oh, right. It's the fact that someone as fine as you is still on the market. How is that?

[jaynassar]

text 💬 jayne

Jane: They're not all the same! I have an inexpensive one for days when I know I'm just going to be holed up working, a medium-quality one for regular days when I'm going to be seeing people and leaving the room, and then a nicer one for special occasions like cotillion!

Jane: Also, aside from that, they come in different scents! Sometimes a new smell helps you feel like a new person.

Jay: Shampoo is shampoo is shampoo. They all do the same thing, I don't see a point in keeping 3 different kinds. Besides, I read a thing that said most of those expensive shampoos aren't worth it.

[jaynassar]

text 🪵 jay

bates: at this point im going to tattoo NO across my forehead and maybe people will take the hint to just stop asking

bates: yeah, no thanks. im good on my own, no fur. but how do you get it off? im going to have to burn all my shit, it's like glitter

jay: that's got to be the worst idea for a tattoo ever, but you do you.

jay: with a lint roller? you do know those are a thing, right? or just like... wash your clothes.

[jaynassar]

text 📲 jani

Gani: Alanna doesn't sleep, she simmers. But ew, really? She's just chilling on you? That's horrible, horrible news.

Jay: Wtf does simmer mean?

[jaynassar]

text 📲 jerkie

Herk: I think it'd make you look kind of cool and wise! Why would you have to cut off your hair for it though? Can't they live in harmony?

Jay: Idk, too much hair, I guess? Like a caveman or something.

[jaynassar]

text 📲 fray

Freddie: Don't exactly follow the Rocky news of the world but I ain't complaining. You're missing one veeeery good part of that movie and it's that boxers got abs. They doing it with the old guy again or is it Michael B. Jordan? 'Cause one of those I'd be more hype to watch than the other.

Jay: Nah, he's done with the Creed movies. At least from what I read he was, you never know though. Hollywood tends to promise one thing and then not deliver, which I kind of expect them to do with this anyway. But until I hear that it's been canceled, I'm hyped!

[jaynassar]

text 🪵 jay

bates: and i told them, yeah, i'd LOVE to volunteer

bates: take note... dont ever try to be sarcastic to those dog washers in the park

bates: im covered in fur and slobber

jay: sucks to suck, dude. maybe you weren't obvious enough in your sarcasm.

jay: although some people really just don't get it.

jay: and if you think that's bad, try living with carlos and dude. the fur gets everywhere.

[jaynassar]

text 📲 jerkie

Jay: Real talk: do you think I could pull off a beard? Do you think I'd have to cut my hair for it? Because if the hair has to go, it's a no.

[jaynassar]

text 📲 jani

Jay: Your cat sleeping on my leg. At least, I think she's sleeping.

[jaynassar]

text 📲 jal

Jay: We haven’t talked in like a week. Are you mad at me? Is it because I ate the last chocolate covered strawberry in the fridge? I'M SORRY, OKAY. I was hungry!

[jaynassar]

text 📲 fray

Jay: Are you seeing this right now? They're probably gonna make another Rocky movie! I mean, the only good things about those movies is watching people get punched in the face, but still! I didn't think they'd actually make another one since what's his name is so fucking old.

[jaynassar]

For Valentine's Day, I've decided to matchmake everyone in Auradon. I think you'd be really well-suited for: Ruby Fitzherbert. You're welcome.

I’m not really into the whole Valentine’s Day scene, but @therubyfitz is hot.

[jaynassar]

text 💬 jayne

Jane: Am I the only one that has three different kinds of shampoo and conditioner to use depending on what my day's activities are?

Jay: I'm gonna go with yes. It's definitely just you. Why would you need that many? Aren't they all the same?

[jaynassar]

Thanks for not being the worst roommate ever. You and Mal are surprisingly fun to be around, even if my cat thinks you're weird.

[jaynassar]

I know we’re kind of a foursome these days, but if I’m honest (and mushy, ew), there’s no one else that’s ever really gotten me the way you do. And yeah, I think you’re gross and annoying sometimes, and a little too full of yourself… but you’re also my favorite, and those things you brag about that you think are so awesome about you actually are almost that great. Thanks for appreciating me as I am, whether it’s tough or soft or in between. You’re like, my person and I love you or whatever.