thewondersofmagicshop

since i have no one to share my trauma with, how about you? they vent blog.

[menheramellow]

I should be paid every time I don’t kill myself

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

I'd be in the millions

[riotd]

it’s so funny when you warn people that you’re mentally ill and they get surprised when you act accordingly

[foxlungz]

I just want to give up I’m tired from the bottom of my fucking soul like I don’t want to do this shit anymore like let me rest please I’ve had enough

[riotd]

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

Perpetually screaming into the void

[dreamsfrompurple]

God if you exist prove it by killing me in my sleep tonight

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

I'm not surviving this

I feel certain I'm going mad again...

I am tired of always feeling like this

I do not see a future for myself...

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

I'm failing at life...

[remanence-of-love]

[anxeious]

they should invent a me who is not exhausted by simply being alive

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

I really hope you can find a solution where you can stay.

I'm just tired and want a forever sleep but thank you.

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

What do you do when you're lonely

I do a lot actually, I write, colour, crochet, read, go hiking, fishing, play games, paint, play chess.

Though when I'm lonely all I can think about is cutting so I sit and think of all the reasons why I want to cut myself until eventually I start crying. Mostly because when I'm lonely I think the whole world hates me.

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

Instead of killing yourself, devote yourself to killing someone else.

When I was 14 my mom made me promise to not kill any life as life is sacred. She says I could easily be a cult leader. So there's that.

Though honestly, it's honestly myself I don't like to the point of wanting death.

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

Failed

[byhisgrave]

if i have to live another day i’m gonna actually tweak

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

In three weeks, i will be leaving. I have it all planned out. All the letters have been written, and I've gathered all the pills i could find. This is what has to be done.

1. I want No funeral. Just a cremation.

2. Letters to people can be given haphazardly. I really don't care as long as they get them.

4. Clean up before leaving. This means my room only. Make the bed, sweep, and pack everything well. Pack aways books. Remove my things from the house so that my mom doesn't see them after things are done.

5. Say my final goodbyes and give away what I need to.

6. Dress nicely. In a white or red dress, and then lay on the newly made bed and wait to leave.

This is my goodbye here.

Bye-bye, and thank you for travelling this journey with me.

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

Chickened out because of food. So this meal is what's going to keep me going for a while now.

[jayofthewondersofmagicshop]

I've been planning my death recently. I don't know how to deal with that.

I've only managed to write 3 notes, and I feel guilty for the people who won't get anything. I might just make a video tape of everything I want to say. I hope they don't miss me too much.