Your Perfect Peach 🍑

I decided to delete my bio. You don’t need to know anything about me.

[paleg0re]

sex is cool but can u not give up on me

[jayycokakia]

Overwhelmingly grateful. But it also scares me because it makes me feel as though I’ve never had anything before (I haven’t)

But it makes me feel like I’m being seen through and doubled down on the fact that I don’t belong.

In reality I really don’t want a fuss made about me and I don’t want my boyfriend working in the sun specifically for me

But also I’m grateful to have someone who will. I’m grateful to have someone who treated it like it was no big deal. I’m grateful to have someone who didn’t treat me like I was burdensome. I’m grateful to have someone who didn’t “punish” me for needing that labor from them. As he was sweating his ass off while reinstalling my battery he asked “sweetheart do you want to sit in my car in the AC?” I said no because the least I could do was sweat with him lol

[jayycokakia]

The issue is I really do love him, but telling him becomes so involuntary when he’s…

Idk what to do with it or what to make of it.

I am like really in love with him. I find myself gazing at him just to take him in when things are quiet or when we’re watching tv and I’m just so happy to be here

I even rubbed his feet this weekend

He got me

[jayycokakia]

I hope he forever shows interest in the meaningless things I have to say

[jayycokakia]

He puts gas in his tank $6 at a time 😭

[8nin]

“you’re so strong” thanks, i literally have no other choice

[irbhair]

Quite literally

[jayycokakia]

This nigga just put me through the mattress like an hour ago

Im talkin - unable to speak from being drained.

I’m talkin unable to move, unable to keep my eyes open afterwards. It took like 40 minutes for my soul to find its way back to my body. He fucked me sooooooo good.

Literally held back tears and the desire to ask “why are you fuckin me like this” (I couldn’t boost his ego like that, I was already boosting it enough)

I want moreeee. Obviously not because I wasn’t fulfilled, but because I love feeling that connected to him. I want to be in his skin.

But I also feel comforted that he’s here in my bed snoring peacefully while I’m up watching tv. This is my man 🥰

The sex is amazing, but we also have amazing conversation, he supports me emotionally, and we have a routine. I love that I have a routine with someone 🥰🥰

[jayycokakia]

I don’t believe it, but ima put it here so I can get it out of my head, but I think I love this man?

Definitely not *in love*

But I’m happy he’s in my life. He adds value and brightens my day. If this thing what we had ended abruptly today I would be significantly effected.

I’ve told all the important people in my life about him. And I want to continue what we have for the foreseeable future

[jayycokakia]

I just told this man I need security from him to move forward because I feel like I’ve spent my life only being able to depend on me

Now I’m tipsy, I’ve muted his messages, and I’m debating on if I should call it a night right now because I’m anxious for the response

In theory this shouldn’t push him away because he dotes on me. He opens my door and takes me out and has soothed me while I cried. He has also allowed me the space to open up to him as time has gone on. But I’m scared. In reality we never know what could be too much to ask of someone. We never know what their finally straw is or what they deem as too much pressure

And I would be silly to think he would step up for me. Like he would specifically put himself in position to be more put together specifically because I need him to

That’s cray cray

[jayycokakia]

I think the general public, those who are casual listeners and are hype about this being Cole’s last project aren’t going to receive Disc 2 well.

It doesn’t fit into their narrative because the rhymes are slower and hella introspective.

Me on the other hand? This whole project was made for me. I think both discs convey a specific perspective.

The storytelling is immaculate and the intention is clear of what he wants to convey and what the audience is to receive. I’m here for it

[jayycokakia]

That nigga got a fresh cut

Ate me out

And fucked me something crazy

I think I won the weekend

[jayycokakia]

Damn imagine if he becomes the person I start a family with

[jayycokakia]

That “what is it baby” I get when I say his name when he in it 😩🥹

[jayycokakia]

I know my personality is uniquely mine

But I am also aware there are only 2 things someone needs to be good at/willing to do to take my spot

- be someone who cooks homemade soul food

- be someone who wants kids and to start a family

HM: come from a similar background where marriage, but most importantly staying, was demonstrated

[jayycokakia]

To have a routine with someone 🙌🏾

To have a “norm” with somebody 🙌🏾

[jayycokakia]

I told him “forever is a facade” and he proceeded to list like 7 couples he knows who’s been married for 20+ years

I, on the other hand, had to let him know I don’t have that same lived experience. I don’t know too many married people.

So me stating from day one that I’m a leaver probably hits his brain differently when he comes from a community of people who stay.

…but to emotionally dump and to just get this out of my brain (this is about to be delulu nonsense rooted in solely emotion not reality)

I like him ALOTTTT

And I want him here. I feel like we don’t spend enough time together. I know that will come in time but still I feel like there’s a lot I still don’t know about him and I’m genuinely curious to get to know him more.

I also know that this is the beginning. He will change and I will change and I’m kinda ready to see that too.

I want to know how this ends - whether it is 3 months from now or 30 years from now.

[jayycokakia]

I just told this nigga some personal shit and he’s taking a little too long to respond for my liking 😬

I feel like crying, throwing up, and flushing my phone down the toilet