Our Every Goodbye: A LDR Poem
As our car hits a speed bump, I am jolted awake.
Here we are: our favourite yet most disliked venue.
Planes fly overhead, sounding tears and rejoices.
I once heard an airport saw sincerer love than any other place.
“You could always miss your flight.”
“We couldn’t afford to book another, babe.
We’ll see each other soon. I promise.”
Just wait for me.
We park our car in the car park,
Not wanting to leave each other’s side.
A 4 dollar walk to security
Was better than a free drop off at the curb.
The weight of the suitcase in my hand
Feels heavier on my heart than on my arm.
Your hand is squeezing tighter than usual,
Telling me, no, begging me to stay.
“6 months isn’t that long. With school and work it’ll fly by.”
Neither of us believe this, yet you nod and smile.
I scan my passport at the kiosk to check in.
I have exactly an hour and 45 minutes and go as slowly as possible.
I take a glance at you, with tears in your eyes refusing to fall.
Please don’t cry, I think. I’ll start crying too.
We are both strong and we’ve done this countless times.
Why is this never easier?
We approach the security gate,
Our hands gripping tighter than before.
I begin to panic, “I’m not ready! Just one more minute…”
I can feel my heart as a lump in my throat.
You hold me tightly and I listen to your breath.
I match my own to yours, focusing on only us in the sea of people,
And the even thumping of your heart reassures me
That here you will be, waiting for me.
“I love you. I’ll miss you.”
“I love you, too. Have a safe flight. Chin up.”
I give a halfhearted smile and convince myself
To let go of your embrace…
your kiss…
your hand…
Our fingertips linger for a moment, desperately
clinging onto the final moments with each other.
And at last, I walk through the arch that will lead me back
To the place I could never truly call home
Without you.
