Captured by Reality!

Jaz here and this is my whatever I feel like posting blog. This blog mostly contains random pictures I take, things I do, and reblogs of things I like.

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Sometimes it feels like ten years ago, sometimes it feels like yesterday. I will always feel a little down this time of the year. It's been a year, I hope you are happy there Mommy! https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj5q4iCSYg1/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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proof of life (at Marco Polo Ortigas Manila) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgHdti3JeeV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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It must be strange to celebrate in these crazy times (on top of everything else that is happening in my life) but I always remember that in the middle of all these changes, I always have constants. Wishing less stressful days, even bigger milestones with "next plans". Thank You Lord! https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd-GSbSpoqM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Postponed 2nd Board Exam!

January 2019 Pre-Pandemic when Me and Jhonica decide to file in PRC for the upcoming March 2019 board exam. We met in North EDSA since I am still in Grass then we rode MRT from North Ave to Ortigas then we walked to Robinson Place Manila.

After submitting the requirements we went back to SM North and ate dinner. Then I decided to go home in Baliuag with Jhonica after my 2-hr Tutor with Amarah.

March 2020 lockdown and the Board Exam keep moving, until they decided to divided into 4, and we included in the 3rd Batch. Our assignment room unluckily is in Ayala Malls Manila Bay in Paranaque.

March 27, 2020 we waited for like 2:30 am to 04:00 am for the bus but unluckily we weren't be able to make it.

Her last chance before going out of the country but things not happen according to our plan.

Took this photo before going out.

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03.13.22 (at Dear, K Café) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbm4mL-JQSy/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Mommy would've turned 54 today. She has always looked younger than her age so I can't really imagine her aging, in my mind she's forever in her 40s although I'm sure she would've loved the senior citizen discount as someone who loves eating out. Second photo was taken during your last birthday here, from what feels like a lifetime ago. If I could travel back in time to relive a particular period of my life, I know precisely the years I would return to. Today is your first birthday without you. Happy Birthday, Mommy! https://www.instagram.com/p/CbaMdEDJWSo/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Tagal di nagkita yern! 🤣 03.08.22 (at AMDB Food Hub) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca_zYi8JhM5/?utm_medium=tumblr

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03-04-22 (at Citea Milktea Baliwag Official) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca_x-bBpb79/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Natutuloy pag biglaan. :D (at Master Kopi) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaKFKjYpn8k/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Cleaning my files. Late upload. (at Calle Jose) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZEgWDspEkr/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Cleaning my files. Late upload. (at J.SY Cuisine • Coffee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZD-8gDJ1Y3/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Exactly a month today my mom passed away.

Aug 24

My mom suddenly cried and opened up to us the pain that she's been going through, she showed us her left breast with a hurtful face expression that I still can't forget. From then on I prayed to God "Kayo na po ang bahala sa amin."

Sept

My mom went to tests and laboratories to know her condition. As expected it is Breast Cancer, she did Biopsy Treatment and as days goes by I can see her pain, she' having a hard time.

Oct 09

When we decided her to confine in the hospital cause it's already 2 weeks that she can't sleep and not feeling well anymore.

Oct 09 - Oct 16

She's in the hospital, had the 1st chemo session and then we didn't know that she's already had Pulmonary Edema (tubig sa baga) complication from her cancer. She was discharge Oct 16 evening and she's seems okay. Hospital bill's tot almost 120K.

Oct 17

Afternoon when she had a hard time breathing and we gave her oxygen and put her upstairs to the room with aircon. That night I am the one with her side.

Oct 18

Around 10pm when we rushed her in the Hospital for having a hard time breathing, she's already unconscious and my Dad said again "Ihanda nyo na sarili nyo." I saw my Mom in pain, I asked her "Dalin ka na namin sa ospital?" and she moved her head left and right (she doesn't want anymore) I asked her again "Gusto mo na magpahinga?" she moved her head up and down.

Oct 19

Around 01am after tests and xray they already admitted in the hoapital, after I left I said to them goodbye and I'll be back in fhe morning, my Mom said "Ingat ka." I didn't know that it would be her last words to me.

05:45am

My Tita woke me up and said my Mom is now gone. Me and my brother went to the hospital and we all cried after seeing her no life.

Red van from morgue get her and went straight to the morgue.

And from then on, I was like a bird lost the one wing.

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It's been almost one and a half year since I posted here in my IG. Been using this every single day, lots of memories happened ups and downs yet I didn't get the chance to share it with other people. It's so ironic that this is the kind of photo I posted here, the urn of my late Mom who just passed away last Oct 19. It is still freaking hurts and I am still not Okay. Trying to get back to my normal life, and I guess I'll be sharing here from now on my random photos, memories, thoughts as a sign of moving forward in this lifetime. Thank you to all the people behind my back, you are my support system! Photo credits to the photographer Jomark Castillo. https://www.instagram.com/p/CWQmOVzJi72/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Bought a brand new phone for the first time in my entire life. Thank you G!

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I'm back after years hehe. I just remember this when I went back to my Tumblr. Okay, many things happened to me and maybe it will kinda change my etc below.

READING ... The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein which I've been reading since March haha I'm currently in the half of the book when I got interrupted of The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery.

WRITING ... Gross Sales and etc of our small family business every single day.

LISTENING ... When I First Saw You by Jamie Foxx ft. Beyonce. I just saw this in my screenshots before, I got it from the Korean Variety Show Somebody Season 1 and they used it and I just downloaded it.

THINKING ... What's up with my Bes Arianne today? Haha Like, today seems a catch up or meet up day with her kinda crush or should I say a chatmate for about 11 months. Btw, today is actually her belated birthday celebration at home that's why he will be there with his cousins which is my bes' barkada.

WATCHING ... Random cooking or baking videos in facebook and random vlogs in youtube. And I've been watching When Camellia Blooms korean drama and I'm still stuck in Episode 28 hehe.

WISHING ... This Covid19 will disappear. And can't wait for the news that Philippines and the whole world as well will have zero Covid case. We all deserve to be happy and be free.

HOPING ... That the world will back to its normal, which I know we have a New Normal now. and wearing mask is one of it.

WEARING ... Black Vivint shirt and black Adidas sport short.

LOVING ... My new black/grayish iPad Mini Case which I bought with my Bestfriend last Oct 01.

WANTING ... To fix my iPhone 6s. Huhuhu

NEEDING ... Nothing. For now, I don't need anything except for money ofcourse that's given. hehehe

FEELING ... Excited to my small parcel which I bought in online shop in Shopee. That's actually for my Bes (as my belated bday gifts) for me and for Mommy.

CLICKING ... Random sites or posts or tweets. And of course doing this TSC after years.

Will try my best to make more TSC! :)