Reflections from someone next door

foster care & adoption

[jblatz]

9 months ago...

Last Sunday I had a “coffee” date with a “kid”. Can you really call a 14-year old a kid? By coffee I mean, I had a strawberry smoothie and she had a Vanilla Bean Crème Frappuccino. This wasn’t just a regular coffee date (otherwise I would have had the dark roast coffee), instead I was hanging out with this lovely lady because I wanted to see what the last 9 months had been for her. 

You see, nine months (and one day) ago I didn’t know this girl but yet I was asked to videotape her special day – the day that she was adopted. 

Since that day I have spent a lot of time with her and her family – partly because they are family J (and we planned a large conference together) but mostly because they are wonderful people to be around.

In some ways, it has felt like she has always been a part of the family, but over Christmas I was reminded a few times that this was her first Christmas with her forever family.

 As I was chatting with her over our special drinks, I realize that there are some things I wouldn’t ever have to face, feel or think about because of my skin colour and yet those things she thinks about.

 One of the nuggets that I took away from that time together was that my life is richer because of my relationship with this 14-year old energetic, music lover, & snapchat queen. Our life experiences will be different because of our skin colour but if we continue to have open dialogue about those differences, I know that I will become a better person because of it.

 Nine months ago, her life change when she signed those papers. Nine months ago, my life changed because she signed those papers. Adoption just doesn’t change the life of the kid that is adopted but all those around. Mine sure has.

[jblatz]

The Difference of One Person

Yesterday’s blog was about if I could change the world. I ended the blog with the thought that maybe we can change the inequality of humans if we just  connected with one other person. That got me thinking about the difference of one person.

In one of my class discussions we touch on the topic about how the kids/youth today are so absorb and that they don’t care about the world around them. I mentioned about the kids that I know and how they care about the world around them. The response was it is probably because the people that I hang out with have a more positive influence on those kids then most. The difference of one person.

I am connected with a group of 8000+ ladies on Facebook because a writer was looking for support and encouragement in what she was facing as well as what she was writing. To date this group of ladies on Facebook still feels small and yet it stretches across the world and is encouragement to all who find a home on this page. The difference of one person.

Preemptive Love Coalition is a small organization that was started by Jeremy Courtney who moved his family to Iraq to help the poor. Him and his organization where there when Aleppo crisis hit right before Christmas and be able to help feed and house thousands of people that were fleeing Aleppo. The difference of one person.

Mother Teresa left her home at the age of 18 to join Sisters of Loreto, an Irish community of nuns in India.* As she continued to be impacted by the love of Christ and by the sight of the poor in India, she was motivated to move to the poorest of the poor and yet has impact more than just the poorest of the poor in India. The difference of one person.

 * Nobel Prize biography on Mother Teresa

None of these leaders ever thought that their influence could and would reach thousands of people around the world. They just reached out to one person and in turn have impacted thousands.

[jblatz]

If you could change the world...

If I could change one thing in this world what would I change? This was the question that asked in my class.

The discussion about how much a small thing like the internet has such a large impact on everyone today - and not necessary for the better. The discussion highlighted the fact that everything is linked and if we change one thing that everything would change as well. 

So, to pick one thing to change, means the power to change the view and the values of the world today is overwhelming.

So, here I am trying to image a world that would be different because of one little change and what would the change be.

What would happen if the world believed that all men, women and child were equal? What would happen if we didn’t live like one race was more superior than another? 

What would the world look like?  

Would we have wars?

Would we have refugees?

Would we need organizations, like A21, who deals with human trafficking?

Would charities exist?

Would our justice system look different? Would they exist?

I image the change and the outlook of what we face today would be very different. But is this just a dream or could it be a reality?

To be able to change the world that would look like this means that we have to change our own actions and attitude. The change needs to start with us.

Martin Luther King Jr. had this dream as well. As part of his famous “I have a dream” speech, he said

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slave and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

To change the attitude and point-of-view of the whole world would be impossible but we can start with our own and hopefully change the people we are connect to, then maybe one day we will live in a world that MLK that only dreamt about.

[jblatz]

A New Year, a new you?

Today is January 3rd, so it means the third day into the New Year. The third day of a fresh year, a new beginning. So, are you restarting or starting something new? Are you the type of person that is diligent in thinking over and picking a New Year’s resolution? If so, where are you in your New Year’s resolution? Have you broken any? Do you pick things to improve on or do you pick a ‘word of the year’ to inspire you?

As I was thinking about the New Year’s resolution and I got me to thinking about why is it a guarantee that no matter who I hang out with on New Year’s Eve that the topic of New Year’s resolution comes up. As I was pondering this, I question hit me; Do we believe that we are not enough. Is this the reason why we look forward to a new start that we want to change who we are and become a better person because we don’t believe that we are enough right now?

 We are not _______ enough?

That we are not skinny enough? We need to train better as in Nike’s new ad.

Not smart enough? Needing to read more.

Not healthy enough? Needing to eat better.

 When we fail at our goals/resolution how do we react? Do we pick ourselves up, giving ourselves a break, and take the next step forward? Or we just throw in the towel and give up?

So today is the third day of a New Year, a brand-new day. The third day of starting fresh. So how are we engaging today differently than we did last year? This four year is cute but has a strong message that I think that we all need to hear.

P.S if you are looking to change the way you do you resolutions, here is a free resource for you that, author Jennie Allen, in creating a dream guide for 2017 - http://www.jennieallen.com/2017-dream-guide/

[jblatz]

Are you annoyed yet?

Two days I wrote about some of my favourite Christmas song from my childhood. (click here if you didn’t read it).  So this is my Christmas gift to you – just like an ugly Christmas sweater, the most annoying Christmas song (at least according to a Huffington Post in 2013).

10) Christmas Shoes

9) Winter Wonderland

8) 12 days of Christmas

7) Rockn’ around the Christmas tree

6) Little drummer boy

5) Feliz Navidad

4) Jingle Bells

3) Jingle bell Rock

2) Santa Baby

1) Grandma got ran over by a reindeer.

So is your most annoying Christmas song on this list? Which songs should be added?  Why do these songs annoy us? Is there a version of these songs that would stop you from skipping this song? The 12 days of Christmas song is annoying to me because it is soooo long and very repetitive.  However I did come across of a version that was hilarious – by Straight No Chaser.  

I really enjoy Feliz Navidad by Boney M. Other than those versions of the songs, I would agree to this list.  

Well I hope I haven’t annoyed you too badly and hopefully you won’t be singing these songs all day otherwise I may be getting coal from Santa this Christmas. 

Well on that note (pun intended) I hope you have a wonderful and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. (I won’t be writing until I am back in class on January 3 – don’t miss me too much.)

 Additional Info

The Huffington Post link -http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/02/annoying-christmas-songs_n_4345257.htm

[jblatz]

Cooking around the World

For the last 6 week, myself and my 2 wonderful helpers, have been cooking with eight kids, Grades 1-5, from my Church. Every year, in my Church, the kids from Grades 1-5, pick a creative class in which they can learn different skills. This year the classes that were offered were: art, dance, drama, sports, flags, and cooking.

The first week we cooked one of my specialities - Mexican Breakfast Burrito. Scrambled eggs with onion, garlic, red and green peppers, fresh mushroom. The eggs were seasoned with taco seasoning - to give it a Mexican touch. The egg mixture was placed on a warm tortilla shell and sprinkle with shredded cheese. On top salsa, sour cream, spinach and bacon were added. Wrap it up and you have a better breakfast burrito then McDonalds.

Second week we made homemade chicken balls, with homemade sweet and sour dipping sauce along with stir-fry with chow main noodles.

The third week we introduce the kids to East Indian food. We made butter chicken, with rice. We also had Naan bread from the store. We finished our meal with East Indian Tea.

Our fourth week made Mennonite Food - the food I was brought up eating. We made blueberry Moos, (blueberry soup) -  a cream/milk base with either blueberries or saskatoons that is sweeten with sugar and can be served hot or cold. We also did vereninka with schmauntfat (cottage cheese perogies with a cream gravy) and vorscht (mennonite farmer sausage).

Week five we made christmas cookies and week six we decorated them. One thing that we talked about during our time together was how eating food isn’t just about the food but how it is a natural way to connect with people. Cooking meals is about eating together, hospitality and sharing. So once the cookies were done we shared them with the people in Church.  

During the six week as we were waiting for the icing on the cookies to dry we made home pizzas.

Even though cooking with kids made my life very busy and tiring, it was a lot of fun.

[jblatz]

Favourite Christmas Music

There is always arguments of when to start playing Christmas music, is it after Remembrance Day or after December 1. When do you start playing your christmas music? What is your favourite songs? What memories are triggered when listening to a certain song?

A few weeks back I was visiting my sister and brother-in-law, when the background music became more then just background music. A song that started playing triggered memories from our childhood. It was a song that we played almost on a daily basis growing up. It is Parade of the Wooden Solider by Harry Connick Jr.

Another song that brings back childhood memories is a Low German song that was sung in Church every single christmas - Friedensfurst. My sister and I would joke to say that it wasn’t Christmas until we had sung that song (or at least in my case just singing the amens at the end because my Low German wasn’t great). (Sorry about the quality of the video but it was taken in my hometown before videoing was popular)

This year Christy Nockels (formerly known as Watermark) recorded her first album, A Thrill of Hope and has become one of my favourite Christmas Albums of all time. It goes through the Christmas story from the beginning of The King is Coming Prelude and ends with Joy to the World/The Kings is Coming.  I have also have been listening her podcasts and there she has gone in depth about the meaning behind the songs. (Her podcast is Glorious in the Mundane). One of my favourite songs from that album is Advent Hymn. 

Here she is explaining the story behind her song as well as the purpose of her album. I hope you enjoy it. 

I hope that whatever songs you are listening to, that you will have a wonderful Christmas Season.

[jblatz]

Thank-you

Last April, some close friends of my mine, had an an adoption ceremony to celebrate the teenage girl that they were adopting into their family. It was a privilege to be apart such a special occasion. Over the last 8 months in getting to know this wonderful gal has lead me to write this Thank-you letter.

To all who are fostering and/or adopted a kid and to those who have had foster kids living in your home.

I want to say thank-you. Thank-you for your willingness to make room for kids, that are in need of a forever home - especially now during Christmas time. It takes time, energy and space to invite a stranger to live with you. It takes time for a stranger to become apart of the family - to start sharing traditions, history and stories. It takes energy to get to someone beyond what is written on their case files.

For those of you who have fostered kids but the kids no longer live with you - may you cherish the history, stories and traditions that you shared with those kids. This Christmas may not be easy for you but take the time to remember the ones that you shared with those kids.

Stepping out and loving someone who is hurt or doesn't know what it means to be in a safe loving environment is hard and a risk but that is the risk that you took on those kids. You realized that loving those kids was a much safer risk, knowing that those kids wouldn’t be with you forever, then not having those kids in your home at all. You created space and a home for those kids, even if it was for a short time, so that they could experience what feels like they belong.

Thank-you for loving kids and welcoming them into your family.

Addition info

image sources:

Thank-you: http://www.planwallpaper.com/thank-you

family picture: http://renascent.ca/help-support-groups-families-alcoholics-addicts/

Family quote: http://geniusquotes.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/sPS381.jpg

[jblatz]

Palm Trees, Palm Trees

Since I only have 4 days of class per week. Today is like a Friday to me; which means I am writing about a fun topic today - the carefree days of summer (or places are warmer than Winnipeg).

Years ago, I was in a Capernwray type schooling – class in the mornings and work assignments in the afternoon. When we had to work outdoors on the cold and miserable days, like today, we would say over and over “Palm Trees, Palm Trees” so that we would think of warm sunny places.

So today I am saying over and over Palm Trees, Palm Trees and pretend I am not stuck here in Winnipeg where it is -18 C with a wind chill of -28 C. 

Palm Trees, Palm Trees! 

So instead of needing to drink a warm cup of coffee in order to stay warm, I am dreaming of drinking nice cold icy drink while sitting on the beach.

Have you ever watch the show on HGTV the Caribbean Life? It is about people moving to a Caribbean country to live the layback lifestyle that is associated with those countries. I find watching this show on my overnight shifts helps with surviving this cold weather. 

So, if you could choice to be in one warm place today instead of Winnipeg, where would you go? Where are some of your favourite vacation places and why? What do you look for in when picking a place?

Here are some of the things that I look for when planning a trip: is it warm? Is it a high tourist place? (I tend to shy away from the hot spots) Is there a beach? Will there be some good opportunities to either take pictures or sit and relax with a book?

 One day I am hoping to see and walk the beaches of Hawaii and be able enjoy the Palm Tree in real life. Until then, Palm Trees, Palm Trees!

[jblatz]

Apple,  Special Books by Special Kids & Hallmark Movies

What does Apple, Special Books by Special Kids, Hallmark movies have in common?

This week Forever Families shared on their Facebook page a video by Special Books by Special kids about how to connect with kids that were not like us.

The latest Apple Christmas video ends has Frankie singing a Christmas song with a little girl and some folks from town.

Most Hallmark Christmas movies are all about the warm and cozy feeling and feeling safe with friends and family. 

So, what does this have to do with foster care? No matter who you are, a kid that is on the spectrum of Autism, Frankie, main character in a movie or a kid in foster care system, they are all wanting to connect with someone and be known.

I was given this reminder about 10 years ago and again about year ago. For about 10 years, I lived with people who often find themselves living on and off the streets, for one reason or another. One day, about eight years ago I was downtown and passed a group of street people when I recognized on of my friends. I sat down and she introduced me to her group of friends. I realize at that moment, these people want to be recognized as humans and not just some panhandler or bum on the street.

I was reminded of this again about a year ago when I was connected with a panhandler, who had his “station” close to my work. One day, after a conversation where I learned his name, he calls out to me, as I am leaving, “Don’t forget it”. He, too, wanted to make sure that he was known.

So, during this season, where the hype is all about “The Christmas Spirit”, who can we open our hearts (and homes) to? How can we get out of our comfort zone and connect with people who are not like us? What are some practical ways that we can make people feel at home this Christmas season? What are some ways that have worked for you in the past?

[jblatz]

Fitbit

Disclaimer

This blog is for a class assignment so it has nothing to do with foster care and adoption - for my latest blog entry on that check the earlier post. For this post we were assigned a topic and therefore it won’t be on the topic of foster care and adoption.

So how many of you have grabbed your friends, your junk food and planted yourself in front of a tv or computer to walk the fast-talking, junk-food eating duo of Gilmore Girls. For those of you who haven’t watched yet, don’t worry there won’t be any spoilers here. How ever do you have a friend like Loralai in episode the Winter Season when Rory asked her mom if she is coming Lorelai responds “Na I have just reached my steps.”

Why has Fitbit, or other technology similar to it, so common that even gets mentioned on a show like Gilmore Girls. What is it that encourages so many people to use it?

In an article for Business Insider, Erin Brodwin writes, 

It was great at first. I was taking the stairs more often at work, walking outside to make phone calls, messaging back and forth with other friends who had Fitbits, and even joining in on the occasional Weekend Warrior competition, a minimarathon you do with your friends to see who can get the most steps in one weekend.

But later on she writes how that competition and the idea of always trying to beat your friends was too much for her so she took her Fitbit off. As humans, do we thrive on the need for completion? To be the best? For a challenge? Or is the need to connect with others, the underling drive for the sales of the Fitbit?

What is your experience with Fitbit or similar technology?

Additional info

This is the article I mentioned http://www.businessinsider.com/should-i-get-a-fitbit-2015-5

[jblatz]

In the Search of April Raintree

Yesterday I mentioned that that my story regarding the topic of foster care and adoption didn’t really have a beginning but it had many different threads that are linked together. Today I want to share one of the these threads -  It is a book. For those of you know me, this isn’t a total surprise because I read all of the time, however this isn’t a book that you would find in a Christian bookstore or in adult section in bookstores like Chapters or Coles. You would find this book on the required reading for kids that are in Jr High - or at least it was back in 2009 or 2010. The year is a bit fuzzy of when I first heard of this book from the kids in a inner city school in Winnipeg but what isn’t fuzzy is the impact this book still has on me today. The book is In a Seach for April Raintree, by Beatrice Mosionier. This book is written in the first-person point of view and follows the lives of two sisters from when they were toddlers until they college age.

These girls endured a lot in their life time. They both started their lives living in a reserve in Northern Manitoba and then early on in their lives find themselves moving to Winnipeg. From there things get really confusing for the two little girls, they were taken from their homes and separated from each other to live with strange people. The hardest part of reading this book is that the main character, April, wasn’t told why she was taken from her family and sister and why she couldn’t ever go back to see them. As April grows from being a toddler, to a girl attending elementary school to then High School, the language changes alongside the growth of the main character. We also experience unsettlement, frustration and abuse along side April as she goes from one foster home to another and not truly finding a home. As April becomes an young adult she finally because successful in finding her sister but is still haunted with the questions of what it means to be a métis in a caucasian world and why she had to endure the abuse and neglect from the places that where suppose to be safe.

Have you ever felt out of place, and didn’t think that you fit in? In your opinion what makes a home truly a home? Have there been times when you have felt lost and confused and wonder why you are facing the events that you are facing? What book(s) have made an impact in your life?

Additional info

here is the link for the book on amazon - https://www.amazon.ca/Search-April-Raintree-Beatrice-Mosionier/dp/1553791738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481650042&sr=8-1&keywords=search+of+april+raintree

Beatrice Mosionier is from Manitoba and the locations that she writes in this book are real and thus make this book really come alive.

[jblatz]

Once upon a time

Every fairy tale story starts out with Once upon a time and ends with happily ever after. Those phrases indicate a beginning and an end to a story, but my story with topic of foster care and adoption isn’t as cut and dry as a fairy story. My story and interest with this topic is more like a spider-web; one thread leads to another but each thread is branched off to a couple of others. The beginning is not visible and I have no idea where the end is. I am right now right in the middle exploring this topic and wanting to learn from the ones who are also on this journey. This may take many different forms; from connecting with people who are fostering and/or adopted kids, sharing different blogs and books about other people’s stories and along the way share my bits and pieces of my story regarding this topic.  

“Families don’t have to match. You don’t have to look like someone else to love them.” -Leigh Anne Tuohy”

This past November, I had the privilege of helping out a summit, which was held in Winnipeg, on the topic of fostering and adoption. The main speakers where Irene and Domingo Garcia and they shared their story about having 32 children in their home; whether they were foster kids or their own because of adoption or biological. They shared about their joys and struggles about having a not so conventional family. They could testify that family member don’t always have to look like each other in order to apart of a family.  

Where are you in regards to fostering and/or adoption? Are you just in the beginning and wondering why people should be engaged in this topic? Are you in the midst of fostering a child or have already adopted a kid? Or are you like me who has some idea of why this topic needs to be explored but not quite sure what your role is in regards to this topic?

Additional info:

·         You can read about Irene and Domingo’s story in Rich in Love. A must read or a book to give to someone who is exploring this topic.

·         The summit that took place this past November was Belong Summit 2016 – which was facilitated by Forever Families of Canada – foreverfamilies.ca.