Exit Wounds @jbparagas - Tumblr Blog

About Netflix

"A beautiful room with a view, but it means nothing without you" (at San Juan Surf Resort)

I often catch myself wandering through my memories of you, trying to find the you I once loved and the you that once loved me.

erdenabmann (via wnq-writers)

And for a brief moment, i saw right in front of me the girl i fell in love with a long time ago.... And finally... Finally, I AM FREE

Hi, what's up? I actually don't know how to start this letter. I have been writing this letter in my head for days. So how are you? Where have you been for the past few months? Did you meet a lot of people? Did you learn new things? Have you moved on? When I left, I know you had a lot of things in your head. Why I left. Am I coming back. It may sound like an excuse for you. I left because I love you. You remember the time you were telling me about the love tank? You didn't notice but when I left, mine was almost empty. I could no longer give anything. My mind was preoccupied with uncertainties. That if I stayed, we'd both kill each other. I decided to go because I know, it's the best thing to do. I put you through hell for the past few months. I'm very certain of that. I think you have been talking to yourself more frequent than usual. You needed that. If I didn't leave you, you're not exactly where you are right now. I had to leave for you to grow. I had to leave because we were both hurting each other. I had to leave because no one was giving in. I had to leave because I need to find myself. In the process of loving you, I lost myself. When I lost myself, you lost me too. And I lost you too. I'm pretty sure you have done a lot of traveling. You met a lot of people that helped you in becoming who you are now. Maybe you met someone. Or maybe not. When we started our relationship, I was me. The girl you fell in love with. She was a gone girl. She died with them. That was a transition. A worst nightmare. I'm sorry I had to leave. I'm sorry for causing you excruciating episodes of pain. I'm sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most. I would love to hear your stories of success. The people that you met. The food that you ate. How Budoy celebrated his birthdays. How gained so much weight. How you do your job. How you are living your life. I'm sure you'll meet someone who would deserve to share a cup of coffee with you while you talk about your stories. I may not be there now. I may be gone for good. Always remember that I'm happy with whatever you have achieved now. I'm proud of you. And I'm pretty sure Budoy feels the same way too. I love Budoy and I know he loves me too. You have seen that. But I'm not worth that love. When I lost myself, I became irrational. I became selfish. I turned out to be something I'm not. Well I guess they said that a woman is a reflection of her man. I guess we both fucked up. I guess that's part of loving. You gain something. You lose something. But the whole point is you learned from it. Learn from all the mistakes we did. Don't do the same mistake twice. Love yourself. Never forget that. Because when you value yourself as a person, your love tank will never be drained. You can't give what you don't have. Thank you for all the memories and the lesson learned. Thank you for buying me coffee. Thank you for those little surprises. Thank you for the phone. Thank you for bringing out the worst and best in me. I hope someday, we can have coffee together. I don't know when. But I know time will come when all those wounds would be completely healed. Tell me about your stories over dinner. I'm a very good listener. I can listen to you all night. You're not really a good partner but maybe you are now in the making. But you're a good man. A good father. Always keep that in mind. You will always be my first love. Good night Da. See you around. :) Yours, The girl you fell in love with Sent from my iPhone

In my frustration... I found a letter.... A blast from the past..