— PALISADES !

JON ACKER-MILLER OF NEX ! — oh, admiration in falling asleep, all of my powers, day after day, i can tell you, we swaggered and swayed, deep in the tower, the prairies below, i can tell you — the telling gets old !

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EASTON.

          ‘ i mean, you could— if you wanted to, really. or you could just pretend to be deaf too if people ask—— it’s not like they would really question it. ’

     “ but i doubt they’d ever forget it. ”

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ELLIOT.

‘ For some reason I don’t think that’s a POSITIVE. More people, the more gears there are turning in the great Portland machine. ’

     “ wouldn’t call it great. ”

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MARTY.

    “ What makes you think you’re the VOICE of the blind ? Ain’t that a bit conceited ? No offence or nothin’, I’m sure you’d make a great sales rep for the Blind People of America foundation, but, like, don’t people have more IMPORTANT things to care ‘bout ? Like, zombies ? I dunno, I ain’t blind, but you should give yourself more credit. You’re a good guy as far as I can tell, in your own right too, without all the blind baggage. ”

     “ i don’t know of any other blind folk around. and some kids have only ever had portland. i’d be the only blind guy they’ll ever know. i would never chose be a spokesperson, i’m the worst ! but i have to be that guy. and i don’t know marty, i don’t think i’m doing so well on that front. ”

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MAXWELL.

( @jcnack !! )

          ‘ i guess we should have expected this, right ? something else bad had to happen EVENTUALLY—— so why not this ? ’

     “ — live your life constantly expecting bad things to happen, your entire life might as well be a bad trip. ”

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ANALEIGH.

     “ Why don’t you feel compelled to S H A R E ? ”

     “ because that doesn’t need to be shared. ”

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BEATRICE.

‘ I will, –– I would. And now I’m leaving. ’

     “ yet to see you try. ”

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EASTON.

          ‘ oh ——— have you always been blind ? is it annoying ? not being blind— well, kind of, but i mean people asking about it. ’

     “ — yes. but i can’t blame them. most people don’t meet a blind guy in their lifetime. ”

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MARTY.

      “ I’m gonna regret givin’ you this tip, but fuck it. Don’t give a fuck. You know people say it’s harder than it looks, but it really ain’t. It’s like, in the grand scheme of this entire universe, we’re fuckin’ specks. None of this, really matters anyways. Huh, I feel better already. Sure, I always got my charm on me, but I don’t really put any effort into lookin’ good, ‘less I think it’s going anywhere, y’know ? If they’re WORTH the effort, I put in the EFFORT. Simple. ”

     “ i know, i’ve had teenage existentialism before. only thing is that here, i speak for every blind guy out there. so if i’m out here raising hell — which i have considered — people aren’t gonna stop hearing about me. and they hear enough about the blind guy already. don’t wanna hear about the blind douchebag. and with that they’d think all blind people are douchebags. they'd ostracize me even more. and i’m not fuckin’ anyone in that universe. ”

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ANALEIGH.

    “ You take me for a mind-reader, I’m not that good. If you would like to s h a r e, I make it a point of listening with the utmost sincerity. ”

     “ you don’t need to know. ”

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BEATRICE.

‘ That REALLY doesn’t answer my question ! You’re fine… right ? I swear to God, if you’re not & I just breathed your air––– I will, like, kick you in the shin, or something. ’

     “ hey, don’t kick the blind guy. ”

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ELLIOT.

@jcnack !

‘ This illness —- it’s certainly dropping morale. It’ll make protecting people HARDER. ’

     “ but there’ll be less people to protect. ”

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MARTY.

      “ Fuck LEAGUES, you can get anyone if you try hard enough. And if you don’t, you just move on to the next one. That’s cycle of life, baby, none of this ‘ league ’ bullshit. Sure, I can be handsome, but you just got it. Plus you work out, it shows. S’not like I’m fat or anything, fuck it, imagine me as Humphrey Bogart. No, William Holden circa Sunset Boulevard. ”

     “ i need the leagues. don’t think i have enough dignity to try so hard for... months, only to get rejected in a second. what do you mean by ‘ can be ’ anyway ? thought you turned up the charm for everyone. ”

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ANALEIGH:

     “ That makes it all the more TRAGIC then, yes ? You had something to lose - and well, I can only assume you LOST it. ”

     “ — if you know what that is, please feel free to tell me. ”

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BEATRICE:

@jcnack !

‘ You haven’t… thrown up in the last twenty-four hours, have you ? No–– coughing blood, or sweating like it’s Florida in July, right ? Dead is not a good look on me, Acker. ’

      “ you’re not the one that’s dying. doesn’t affect your look. ”

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EMMA.

‘ Teacher. Concerned teacher! ‘Cause a few of the kids had PRETTY bad colds this week, something is going ‘round, I think. But maybe you should TALK to a medic. ’

     “ if anything i need the medics to stop talking to me. and i scare children, so i’m immune. ”

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MARTY.

     “ Fuck off, I ain’t givin’ you any of my tips. I know if I do, you’d be fuckin’ DROWNIN’ in pussy & dick. ‘Cos like, I ain’t sore on the eyes, but you’re fuckin’ handsome. ”

     “ it’s not like i’d be stealing any of your action. different leagues. ” he’s silent after the compliment, leaning back onto the bed in a mixture of shock and confusion at what to say. “ surely you are, moreso. from what i know. deeper voice. ”

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EASTON.

( @jcnack !! )

          ‘ so, is it more of a— “ i can only see shadows ” type of thing, or a “ i’m constantly engulfed in darkness ” thing ? or is it different ? ’

     “ — it’s more of a, ‘no light perception’ thing. ”