just passing through

A year in review in real time

[cat-memes-only]

Aww

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Don’t be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being the same as everyone else.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[fishplease]

Finally got an okay picture of Hope, my precious ryukin with a lucky fin 🐳

[38100103104]

swimmer

[jcorky]

I can sit and tell you all the people I don't want to be, but the truth is I share traits with every one of them.

[jcorky]

Our biggest adventure yet. I love you @_ginger_snap

[jcorky]

The only place I can call home.

[jcorky]

Neck Deep - Lime St. There's a few things I have to ask.

[jcorky]

Silence Last night my post was about a podcast. I have to say that I love podcasts, i'm addicted to them. Literally almost every waking moment except class time I have my Bluetooth speaker, headphones, or my car radio playing one. So far one just one app (Stitcher) I've racked up 5,695 hours of listening time over less that 4 years! That is 237.3 days of constant listening and that only counts one app. I also use the Apple podcast app and laughable. All that said I remember back when someone once told me that if you can't get into a car and just drive without feeling the need to turn on music something is wrong. With that thought in mind as I started to turn on a episode I've heard for the third time as I hopped in the shower it hit me. I've been hiding in my own head. Constantly listening to other people talk for years, hearing other people's stories has made me numb to what is going on in my life. So I did something that is scary to me and I deleted all of my podcast apps. All of that constant stimulation cannot be good for the soul. Everything that I've been hiding from relationships, traveling, rock shows, friendships all of these things I've been listening to and not doing. Instead I'm going to write and maybe finally read this book I've been trying to finish for a year. So basically Instead of listening to someone talk about their my life and their relationships, I'm going to live my life and have my own relationships. -JC

[jcorky]

Columbus - Stay "If home is where the heart is, I'm so far away"

[jcorky]

Took me a while but today I'm opening this book. Here's to a scary 2017.

[jcorky]

This man is finally back on snapchat. Follow crazymiketv for a good time. Running from the law on his way to Mexico. This man has the free spirit that I aspire to have. Live Love Fart.

-JC

[jcorky]

[youmatterlifeline]

[jcorky]

Mat Kerekes - Direction

I need direction for all of my callousing Standing, screaming that “the time is now” Spend your money when you’re rich in a way you don’t need A bare perfection all of the way down I need substance, spit me out into the street You’re heavy, almost continually You can take it but you better give it back to me Spend your week searching for a way out I need direction, feet first into me Where do you find yourself when you are out?

I dive in quick then I stand in the wind until I’m clean I owe you everything until now I need substance, give me a time and place Seed my everything until I’m sound Nothing is worth it unless you stay put when it’s set free You are perfection all of the way down You’re my perfection all of the way down

I could be anything that you want I wouldn’t mind if you handed me a loaded gun Crack a smile while you turn the safety off I’ll destroy anything that you want me to Help me try and understand what you’re going through Crack the door as you turn yourself away

[jcorky]

Tonight on the ride home I was listening to a podcast called that’s deep bro, specifically episode 105. Great podcast if you haven’t listened to it. Christina answered two emails that hit me where it hurt. If you want to check out what I’m talking about it starts at 39:30. First it was about someone going to school and feeling the effects of alienating people. Then the second was about someone that can never stick to a relationship. If you know me these are things I have a hard time with. These are both goals for me. Major goals! Out of the two the second really got my attention. She spoke of possible male daddy issues. In my situation it has to be a issue from both parents. Growing up in a turbulent household I’ve seen all of the ways that I don’t want to be, and I’ve always been scared that I might be the same. I’m the child of an alcoholic and a gambling addict. Thank god I’m neither of those but I still have the doubts inside of me that I might one day be the same. I can’t do this alone but with my support group back home and the help of my new therapist I can work through this and be the man I want to be.

-JC

[jcorky]

The XX - Brave For You Today I'm embracing my downfalls and fixing the broken things inside of me. Last year I moved to Hamilton, AL. I've been more "successful" than ever before, but it's come at a cost. I've never been more sad and self destructive. Today I took the initiative to apply for a new school. I realize how important having the people I love around me is and I'm going to enjoy this ride we call life. -JC