Tea time with a Wall

I will talk even if it’s only a wall

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Metamorphosis

Oh Gregor, you were the OG “would you love me if I was a worm.” But this time, everyone forgot to say yes. :(

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Metamorphosis

I really dug the symbolism and the strange, dream like story of Kafka’s work piece. The meaning of being alienated and isolated away from society once you don’t reach the criteria of social acceptance. Showing a tragic similarity of people who face disability or illness that forces them to crumble under society pressure due to lack of support system.

On the personal note, I remember reading this back at high school and being irked by Gregor’s altruistic ideals. His pride of providing for his family and being blind toward his family taking advantage of him. I loved him as a character, but he reminded me too much about some POC (me included :,P) experience, of sending money home to the point of not having enough for yourself. Pride muting your protests to the point other people who attempt to point it out is an enemy. Being a child of this circumstance sucks, too.

But it made me so unreasonably mad that he didn’t see the signs since it mirrored some real life experience. Even if I showed disgust, there was lingering pity as he was rejected by his family. I remember getting emotional when he freaking died.

I loved the book, but I remember being so drained after the ending. But this is just a personal opinion. Even if it wasn’t trying to show the POC experience, it still hit a bit too close to home.

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Twins of Carousel Trend

Doodling random things! I really like the trend. It brings out some creative people.

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Failing Business

When the scene opened with his store being defaced with spray paint that says,”Rip Off”. I was genuinely befuddled by the message, who had beef with a failing store so much that they do a petty crime.

At first I thought it was that era where racial tensions maybe bad. We don’t really see the diversity in Santa Clara, CA since it’s supposed to highlight his isolationism in society. But that’s quickly dashed away when I looked up that it was pretty diverse in races during that timeframe, plus, it’s California. Additionally, I think the story tries to be racially blind in casting (which sends some mixed messages), so I think maybe think it’s his competitor?

I like to imagine that he started up a business first, then Big Wayne’s Furniture Barn became popular. Then people thought that Clark was the copy cat trying to ride off of Wayne’s coattails. Which further plummeted his sales.

But I thought it was weird that he’s catching so much flack because of his failing business. You’d think some people would shrug and move on. In my opinion, I’d be intrigued by Clark’s store because of the whole pirate acting. (The whiplash of side eying the therapy scene to goofily smiling at his failed commercial attempt was great). I know he would be a hit with the media if he released the failed shot, but then again he would hate it, too. Since he doesn’t want to perform a mockery of himself when he’s already at his lowest. Confidence issues and all.

This isn’t much of an analysis, but more so a dumping of thoughts.

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Looping the Rooms X Backrooms Crossover Pt 3

It’s finally over…?

Looping Girl is scared of the unknown, leaving what she already is used to. She asked him to lead her back, but he only gives her a drawn layout of the furniture store and location of the phone book.

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Crayola Art Continues

Forget color theory, I’m just gonna stay with black and white. On the other note, me when I am a connoisseur of bad movies:

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The Stolen Star

I had an idea in the past of a lonely boy who climbed a ladder to steal a star once the moon was sound asleep. He found one breathing softy in one of the craters. He swiftly steals it and tries to domesticate it. Treating it recklessly like a toddler who is gifted a pet hamster. In the midst of this, the Mother Moon’s wails causes the ocean’s waves to violently whip and tear at the world.

The Star grows weaker the more it spends time inside. The Star ends up leaving and goes back to his siblings. The boy is left alone once again, heart heavy at the damage he left.

I did have a small fantasy of making a children’s fiction book, but found this concept highly unacceptable since it was grim. It was highly inspired on how baby wild animals are plucked recklessly by children who don’t know better. The age when morals doesn’t quite set in, so things are done impulsively and obliviously.

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Peering Through

Looking through the gap, I saw something that broke me. I stared for hours at them. Thousand of faces blurred into one. Each dangling a key to our (my) future.

I’m terrible at silky crayons and colors, so apologies on my end. I promise you this is Monika hair is wonky since I don’t have the colors to mix it, so orange will do.

But I imagine, she was likely just chilling in her bed and pajamas when she suddenly gets this existential crisis. Monika is an interesting character to dissect. If you listen to her ramblings at the end, you notice a lot of contradictions. Saying she doesn’t care about the club, but she misses saying “Okay, everyone” to call attention. She misses the role, but keeps dismissing it. Seemingly ambitious due to her role model student attitude, but lacking in future plans.

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Late Night Thoughts

A dangerous game we play.

Doodled this in my notes app. I will probably remake this in crayons or markers later since it’s a shoddy first draft. It is open for interpretation. :P

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Buy Now! (Joke Advertisement)

Limited edition Cap’n Clark Squishies located exclusively in Santa Clara.

-Discontinued in the midst of the Disappearance of [Redacted].

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Chatting About Backrooms Movie

Me: A24 coming out with the Backrooms Movie. Did you hear?

Coworker: Hmmm. I don’t remember any memorable movies coming from A24, but I did hear about Backrooms.

Me: (About to critique A24 stance on AI in film industry, but rant excitedly about Clark) I’m kind of iffy—

Coworker: I agree, Backrooms suck. The plot is all over the place and I heard a lot of mixed reviews of the movies. It’s better to go to Obsession.

Me: (Sweating bullets since I’m an avid fan) Ah-What?

Coworker: (Approvingly) Yeah, it’s just not really my tea.

Me: Yeah…

Me: (That’s not what I meaaaaaant. That’s not what I meaaaaaant, I was trying to slander them—not the movie)

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, so I can respect that. I had the same thing happen with two other peeps. I guess that’s why I turned to analyzing in my tumblr account. :,)

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Oswald Emotions

I just realized Oswald barely smiles in the game, even going as far as having a panic attack in the middle of school. It is fair due to his whole missing father. Maybe that’s why I subconsciously draw him in stress in all of my drawings. I tried to be more varied this time.

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Darker Days

When will the day come? The day when I no longer greet the sun?

I think Sayori’s confiding in MC about her depression being present for the majority of her life was a brave action. Especially with MC’s clumsy words of his feelings of betrayal and hurt of being left in the dark. I personally liked how it contrasted Monika’s thoughts about the other members being 2D and a stereotype, there is complexities in each of them to the point that sometimes, the pixels become too real and too honest for players to ignore. I don’t think I came into the game with a romantic mindset as a kid, but platonic since I really liked how they seem cool to me. But that’s my personal opinion.

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Freddy Fanart

My personal favorite animatronic. I just love the laugh when I was younger. Also I have three plushies of them!!

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Mary’s Story

Sometimes I think about the shift in perspective and role from Clark’s Story to Mary’s at the climax. I agree with many people that it was abrupt and the shift made me disappointed since I was invested in Clark’s story.

But I also think about how Mary always had to deal with the aftermath. The trauma of being confined in one place, being obedient to her mentally ill mother. To being forced to navigate her life alone after her mother was admitted in the facility. She was always her biggest advocate because she had no support system. She parroted words of wisdom when she couldn’t even follow her own advice. Something I think she wishes someone told her in the past.

Her being confined by Clark brought her back to that place. Clark attempted to help her out of the ropes, but he got distracted by his still life. He could’ve freed her first, but he didn’t. She had to save herself all over again. Deal with the aftermath of people’s wrongdoings. The narrative is abrupt and unforgiving, she didn't want that role. She didn’t want to inherit it all, and everything crumbles in consequence.

She tried to defy her fate by changing something about her. Actually fight for once, but she’s dragged back to headquarters and interrogated by Async as if she was the cause of this, always a witness, never regarded with gentleness when it was warranted. A cruel echo of her talking to medical staff members or even CPS. Async seems to be an advocate, but they took away her control, her escape. Her story is incomplete and she’s back at the start, inheriting the aftermath of Clark’s actions.

(I knoooow, Clark didn’t make Mary come. But there was always a choice to lead her back to the exit and not choking the air out of her, let’s be honest)

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Devilish Hairdresser

I remember playing girlgogames a lot as a child. My favorite personally was the series about the Girl Devil and Angel. I thought the character designs were really cute and loved both characters equally. I wanted to draw them, but I sucked as a kid.

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Mary Kline Fanart

Dr Kline’s Discovery