pocrescophobia

“I keep thinking that if I could just unzip my skin, step out of this body, then I would see who I really am.” Disordered eating. Depression. OCPD. cw: 131.6 gw:92 skinnyminnies

[jedeviens-maigre-blog]

Kik buddy?

I'm desperate to get back on track here...this is all too much.

Kik: emptyjulie stats: 5'4", currently about 130 lbs gw: 96 lbs

Anyone?

[hillohoffman-blog]

[jedeviens-maigre-blog]

I need a weightloss buddy...just started a Kik, so I'm open to messaging over that.

Age: 21 Height: 5'4 HW: 162 CW: low 130s, 131.2 this morning GW: 96

[beyonddone-deactivated20200531]

You’re a waste. You hide behind your hair and you never go to parties. You have no friends and you have managed to fuck up just about everything, you can’t really cry because you know it is your fault but you have to for some reason, it’s an addiction to become this self-induced mess with bruises and cuts. You bite your nails and your lip and listen to sad music while watching every other human being living their life, fulfilling every part of it and you wonder why you are so depressed and miserable, it is because it is your fault. Stop trying to feel misunderstood and just realize no one cares, you shouldn’t either.

Unknown  (via fawun)

[stillllugly-deactivated20130224]

[momongamon]

[jedeviens-maigre-blog]

Grace Hartzel by Attilio D’Agostino

[s-w-a-m-p-deactivated20120526]

[hardironbabe]

it’s pathetic that we live in a world where chosing to eat healthy and not drink makes you a social outcast.

[angel-of-nigth]

[relateforteens]

[tiitiirawr]

[suicidenight-deactivated2011033]

[printempps]

[br4tze-blog]

[a-m-sunday-blog]

[bonesly]

.

[jedeviens-maigre-blog]

Back up to 130/131, and I'm not going to let it stay that way. I need to be 110 or under before November 2.

Ideally, intake should be something like this from here on out:

Maybe greek yogurt (but only plain!!) can replace something once with a tablespoon of flax seed for fiber...or egg whites and a vegan burger. Maybe even chickpeas and grilled chicken/light canned tuna (in water!!). But that should be rare. I can't allow for too much variation. Having options makes me fuck up. I had control a long time ago, and it's time to reclaim that once more.

60 minutes of running in place: -474 60 minutes of jumping rope moderately: -592 Calisthenics, stretching, toning, resistance workouts as necessary.

I need to shape up and learn to shut my mouth. I need to shrink down so that I can't cause myself any more harm. Must work on returning my body to ketosis once again..once I dip down under 100 lbs, Simon will surely tell me to stop, and then I'll stop. Then I'll know I'm okay..because Simon would like that, and because he knows what a body should look like.

[jedeviens-maigre-blog]

I hate Europe. I constantly have to eat because I'm around people and I do so too much. I've tried to purge five times but people keep walking into the bathroom because it's communal. I've drank too much alcohol. I'm gaining weight and I can't even weigh myself. I want to purge so bad. I need to stop eating. This is driving me nuts. If I'm not under 115 when I get back home, I'm going to starve the shit out of myself this summer.