EXPECTATIONS
if i look back, i am lost
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official daine visual archive
shark vs the universe
Product Placement
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
occasionally subtle
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will byers stan first human second
Andulka
#extradirty
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Origami Around
macklin celebrini has autism
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@jediuser
Nick games review: Nickelodeon Kart Racers (Switch)
Nick’s first Kart Racing game on Switch remains stuck in neutral. Pros: Interesting boost system and RPG-like leveling Cons: Controls are either loose or sluggish, depending on the difficulty Uninteresting track design Paltry selection of racers Rubbish graphics, especially in handheld mode Irritating music No voices Given the large number of iconic characters from Nickelodeon’s huge…
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Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 reviews (PSN/X360)
It is now time to review the beginning of the Blue blur’s foray into 3D (and, consequently, the most divisive games of the series). This will actually be a dual review of the Sonic Adventure duology, since I’d like to compare the two to see how they hold up compared to the other. Let’s get up to speed! Sonic Adventure Gameplay: 6/10Graphics: 6/10Sound: 7/10Value: 7/10 Overall: ***(three stars…
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Deadpool xbox one review
Version 1.0.0 Pros: Deadpool’s lowbrow, outrageous, fourth-wall breaking humor shines through Clever meta-commentary on the video game industry Deadpool looks good and his animations are appropriately crazy Cons: Stale level design Terrible camera By-the-numbers combat system Weak bosses Once the novelty of its lewd title character wears off, what you’re left with is a generic action…
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Retro review: Shadow the Hedgehog
Pros: Moments of pure speed are exhilarating Solid music Multiple endings and hundreds of possible level combinations Cons: Awful camera and controls Sporadic level design Tedious level objectives Awkward targeting for guns Wasted ‘good vs evil’ concept Disjointed, poorly executed story Stop me if you’ve heard this one: ‘Sonic has had a rocky transition to 3D.’ Yes, that’s right, the…
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Classic Comedies
here's an early teaser for my posts on media.
Well, recently rewatched Animal House, and it remains a classic R-rated comedy. Easily the highlight is John Belushi as Bluto, a character with hardly any dialogue who can elicit laughs with a simple raise of his eyebrows. And the climax ranks with comedies like It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World as one of the funniest in cinema history. With that in mind, here’s a (tentative) top ten (live action)…
Shows that hold up
Top 10 anime villains
10. King Bradley – Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Fuhrer President King Bradley (yes, that is the full title), otherwise known as the homunculus Wrath, is the standout villain in a series full of standout villains. Whereas the other homunculi can comfortably be defined by the sin they embody, such isn’t quite the case with Wrath. Sure, there are plenty of moments where he’s about as bloody violent as his name would suggest, but equally often, he’s gentlemanly, diplomatic, and even capable of a good jest. More than that, though, he’s a force of nature with inhuman swordsmanship that makes for the series’ most kickass battles. There aren’t many out there who could single-handedly charge an invading army – with a TANK – without breaking a sweat. And to top it all off, he’s given a strangely touching send-off, as he reflects on what little humanity he was allowed. A tour-de-force that commands full attention whenever on screen, Bradley earns his #10 spot on this list.
9. Makoto Shishio
Fueled by fire from both the burns on his skin and his own burning ambitions, the mummy wrapped Shishio is a powerhouse in just about every sense of the word. For one, his swordsmanship borders on inhuman; not only does he boast ungodly strength (as a brief teaser for the main event, watch him crush a sword with his bare hand), his mastery of fire makes for some sick looking techniques that combine slashing and burning. Two, his Social Darwinism philosophy (or, in his own words, ‘strong you live, weak you die’) is one that is vindicated time and time again, both by his own gruesome past and the grisly fates met by many of the series’ villains. Three, the themes tied to his presence are simply overwhelming.
As the successor to Kenshin as the Meiji government’s assassin who was later burned alive by his superiors (hence the bandages), Shishio is the embodiment of Kenshin’s – and, by extension, Japan’s – bloody past. As Kenshin once sought to bring an end to the previous government through assassination, Shishio now seeks to bring an end to the new government through his own private army of assassins. When their long awaited dust-up finally comes around, by God does it not disappoint – It’s intense, it’s grueling, and it has all the thematic depth one could hope for from a clash between a man who seeks revolution and a man who seeks peace. Essentially, their battle isn’t simply one between two swordsmen on opposing sides – it’s a clash between the old Japan and the new, between the peaceful era of Meiji and violence of the Bakumatsu.
In the end, even death wasn’t enough to keep this S.O.B. down; the last we see of him, he’s making plans with his significant other Yumi and right hand man Hoji to take over their new place of residence, Hell. Talk about giving the devil his due.
8. Vicious – Cowboy Bebop
Bloodthirsty, sadistic, and with a penchant for murdering just about anyone, from former partners to his own subordinates to get ahead, Vicious certainly lives up to his name. But what gets him a firm spot on this list is the impact he has on the hero, Spike. Serving as his ex-partner way back from the days when he was an enforcer from a crime syndicate, the two came into conflict over – what else – a woman, leading to a mortal enmity that would carry on well into Spike’s days as a bounty hunter. Thematically, Vicious serves as the chain keeping Spike bound to his past. Time and time again, he’s returned to settle the score with his old friend, and their battles are the stuff of legends. Don’t believe me? Watch their cathedral battle in the episode Ballad of Fallen Angels, which I consider the highlight of the whole series.
7. Chrollo Lucifer – HunterxHunter
Serving as the main antagonist of the Yorknew City arc, undoubtedly the highlight of the original 1999 HunterxHunter anime, and the leader of the Phantom Troupe, or Spider, one of my favorite villain groups in all of fiction, Chrollo is a character who ticks off all the boxes for a good villain leader. Like any good leader, he’s charismatic, supportive, and able to take charge in just about any battle involving his team. Unusual for a bad guy leader, he values each individual member of his team even more than he does himself; indeed, the one thing that seems to be able to shake his usually unshakeable demeanor is the death of one of his comrades. Also unusual is his relatively modest ambitions. The Spider isn’t after world domination or the death of the heroes, but simply to steal anything that strikes their fancy – and kill any man, woman or child who gets in their way.
Villain group leaders typically serve as a final boss of sorts for the heroes to take down after going through the rest of the organization, but Chrollo happens to be an exception to this particular trope. Midway through, he’s captured by vengeful Kurta clan member Kurapika without much of a fight, and the arc ends with him calmly accepting his fate.
That doesn’t mean this is the end, though, as he remains at large after the end of the saga, with the promise of eventually rejoining his team. With the manga still ongoing, I anxiously await the day where this guy returns to raise some hell.
6. Mother Isabella - The Promised Neverland
Easily the most memorable part of my favorite anime of 2019 is its unsettling antagonist, Mother Isabella. At first glance, she looks to be about as loving a caretaker as the orphans at her field house could have hoped for, with an affection and warmth befitting of a mother. But this image falls apart once the children discover her true allegiance with demons who consume the orphans as food once they come of age. By this time, her formerly kindly image is replaced by that of a remorseless psychopath, hiding a deeply ruthless and conniving mind beneath her motherly veneer – while also continuing to harbor her own twisted form of love for her children.
As the series progresses, it becomes clear that her true character isn’t one of malice, but rather a broken woman who had long since given up hope of ever escaping the fate prescribed to them by their demon overlords. At one point, one of her beleaguered children, Norman, even asks her if she’s happy with her circumstances. The look of surprise on her face is unforgettable, and for that one instant, you feel like she might express remorse towards her kids…but only for that instant.
In the end, she gracefully accepts her defeat, her regrets over having failed to properly care for her children finally showing through. With all her layers peeled back, I await to see what developments future seasons have in store for her.
5. Char Aznable
Char’s characterization as a charismatic, mysterious masked man of dubious morals and a hot ruthless streak is one that’s left such a large impression on the fandom the creators saw fit to reuse it in future series (see Gundam Seed’s Rau Le Creuset and Wing’s Zechs Merqueise). But none have quite managed to re-capture the awesomeness of the original.
Put simply, Char Aznable can best be compared to characters like Walter White of Breaking Bad, that incorrigible bastard you can’t help but root for, especially when you see the equally incorrigible scum he’s up against. Acting as the ace pilot for the space-faring Zeon forces in their war against Earth, in actuality he’s plotting revenge against their leaders, the Zabi family, who assassinated his father a decade earlier. Not only is he effortlessly able to manipulate just about everyone he works under to accomplish this goal, he has no qualms taunting a childhood friend after leading him to his grave (‘Blame this on the misfortune of your birth, Garma.’) But none of this compares to the intense rivalry he has with the protagonist, Amuro Ray.
The nuanced relationship between its hero and villain is the main driving force behind the original Gundam saga. What starts out as a mortal enmity in the original series – stemming primarily from the death of mutual love interest Lalah Sune during one of their many battles – soon cools itself down in the sequel, Zeta Gundam, as former enemies find themselves fighting a common enemy. Alas, this reconciliation was not to last, as by the time of the film Char’s Counterattack, Char has gone full-on psychopath as he ruthlessly plots the Earth’s destruction, leading to the grandaddy of all confrontations between the two enemies. The awe-inspiring final battle between them is truly one for the ages.
Ambitious, vengeful, and multidimensional, Char’s characterization is among the most memorable in all of anime. Many have tried, but it’s unlikely we’ll ever see anyone recapture the all-encompassing devilry that is Char Aznable.
4. Meruem - HunterxHunter 2011
It may seem like cheating to include a villain from a remake of a show that already has a character on the list, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the main villain from the Chimera Ant King arc, which was written well after the original anime ended. Just as HunterxHunter deftly turns shonen clichés on their head, Meruem defies just about every villain cliché in the book.
To start, he’s not an ancient force that suddenly resurfaced, nor has he been waiting in the shadows for just the right time to rise up and conquer the world. In fact, he’s not even born until about halfway through the arc. He’s someone with no tragic backstory or years of resentment, rather he’s a newborn who knows nothing beyond his race’s sense of superiority. What follows is essentially a redemption arc as Meruem learns empathy from a blind human girl who shows him the potential of humans as she matches wits with him in board games. Slowly but surely, his race’s philosophy of humans being nothing but food begins to crumble as he sees the value of the weak. Watching his character essentially mature into a more compassionate, empathetic leader after being born an unrepentant psychopath is a development with nuance rarely seen in villains these days.
It’s this unconventional characterization that makes HunterxHunter one of my personal favorite Shonen series. Just about every character, from heroes like Killua and Kurapika to the evilest villains like Meruem, have real complications that make it difficult to classify anyone as simply ‘good’ or ‘evil.’ There’s more here than just becoming the strongest.
3. Legato Bluesummers - Trigun
Once you get over some of the more questionable aspects of his design (seriously, just what is that THING sticking out of his shoulder?), it’s hard not to be transfixed by Trigun’s No. 2 villain, Legato. Villains who exist with no other purpose than to make the hero suffer are certainly nothing new to animation, but Legato ups the ante by sole virtue of his quietly terrifying presence.
In the English dub, voice actor Richard Cansino knocks it out of the park, delivering a truly bone-chilling mix of icy detachment with just a tinge of self-pity. Armed with mind-controlling powers and an utter disregard for human life – his own included – he’s a guy who knows just the right way to get under your skin. What we have here isn’t some vengeful psycho out for blood; here’s a devious, amoral sociopath who’ll casually force you to rip your own heart out without batting an eye. This lack of theatrics leaves little room for distractions; like Heath Ledger’s Joker, we can’t look away.
In his final confrontation with Vash, the true nature of his schemes is revealed: by forcing the pacifist main character to choose between his life and the lives of his friends, essentially enacting the ‘sadistic choice’ years before the Green Goblin would coin the term, he succeeds where so many other great villains have failed and tears down the hero’s whole philosophy. Undoubtedly the series’ most iconic scene and a magnificent end to a magnificent villain.
2. Younger Toguro - Yu Yu Hakusho
It’s quite fitting that the villain in the No. 2 spot on this list, Younger Toguro, is from Yu Yu Hakusho, since its author, Yoshihiro Togashi, would later go on to write HunterXHunter. One of the writer’s greatest strengths is the enormous amount of empathy he has for his characters, particularly in the case of his villains, hence they’ve taken over three whole spots in the top ten.
With the main antagonist of the series’ excellent Dark Tournament Saga, Togashi has crafted what may be animation’s most unorthodox villain. ‘Unorthodox’ in that he doesn’t possess many of the more…undesirable traits associated with villainy. Sure, he’s an intimidating merc with the body of an extremely ripped cave troll who coerces Yusuke and his friends into entering a death tournament, but he’s also a man with a strict code of honor who takes no pleasure in the suffering of others (I’m sure he’ll have many cheering when he boots his rather deplorable elder brother out of the stadium). And like any great villain, his true motives are shrouded in mystery, one that is gradually peeled back as the arc goes on.
As it turns out, Toguro’s true character isn’t one of malice or megalomania. Rather, he’s a man who takes the tv trope ‘jerk with a heart of gold’ to a whole new level, a broken man full of regrets and wanting nothing more than to see the next generation blossom. By the time he meets his final fate, it’s hard not to feel sad to see him go. Far from the satisfaction we get from seeing a villain go down, what we feel is closer to saying goodbye to an old friend. This remarkable empathy, combined with his sheer intimidating presence, makes him one of the most compelling villains I’ve ever come across. But alas, we’ve still got one more to go, so…
Onto the baddest anime bad guy of all time (reader discretion advised).:
The one, the only –
Light Yagami – Death Note
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” If such is the case, then Light is this concept personified.
Light’s character is essentially a case study on the corrupting influence power can have on the seemingly most virtuous individuals. When the anime starts, Light’s about as perfect as can be, a straight-A student and champion tennis player with a promising future in law enforcement. Suddenly, everything changes when he finds a notebook dropped by the (goofy) death god Ryuk that he can use to kill anyone he so chooses simply by writing their name down. So, what does this noble, idealistic kid do with such a weapon? Simple, he declares himself God and decides to create a better world by killing off all the world’s criminals, essentially becoming the world’s self-appointed judge, jury and executioner.
‘A better world’ is a mantra certainly not unique to villains, but none of them have been quite as all-encompassing as Light. Operating through bouts of maniacal laughter and dramatic self-righteous speeches reflecting his enormous ego, to the point where he makes something as mundane as eating a potato chip look completely insane, Light has a way of having you buy into his demented line of thinking. Granted, he’s not especially meticulous about his moral code. Early on, he casually murders 12 FBI agents simply for getting close. And yet, even when we know he’s about as evil as evil can be, we can’t help but marvel at his meticulous planning and borderline-inuhman foresight. Furthermore, unlike most villains, Light achieved a fair degree of success. For years he reigned unopposed as the world’s almighty judge, with the world slowly coming to accept him as their savior.
Alas, all good things must come to an end, and Light meets a suitably fitting end. Interestingly, the precise nature of the ending differs between manga and anime. I’ll try not to spoil it, but the one you prefer really boils down to whether or not you can muster any sympathy for Light at that point. Personally, I’d go with the manga’s version of events, but I can certainly see merit in both endings. In any case, it’s definitely sad to see this guy go. The second half may have lost some of its edge, but this guy still made it one hell of a ride for most of its run.
Well, that’s it for my anime bad guy list. If there’s any I missed, feel free to let me know (and before you bring it up, I haven’t seen Monster of Berserk; I may get to them at some point). Until then, take a look at some that didn’t quite make the cut.
Hisoka – HunterxHunter
Himiko Toga – My Hero Academia
Hero Killer Stain – My Hero Academia
Frieza – Dragon Ball Z/Dragon Ball Super
Gendo Ikari – Neon Genesis Evangelion
Envy – Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Gauron – Full Metal Panic
Medusa Gorgon – Soul Eater
Seta Sojiro – Rurouni Kenshin
Hi. I can see you liked most little kid shows, that are good.
Huh? Like what?
Nick games review: The Legend of Korra (PC)
Pros:
Korra looks nice and animates fluidly
Different bending styles look cool and feel distinct
Pro bending is a nice diversion
Music and voice actors are taken directly from the show
Cons:
Weak story with a bland villain and virtually no characters aside from the lead
Lousy camera, lousy lock-on system
Barren level design
Little incentive to vary attacks or fighting styles
Dull (and sometimes plain frustrating) endless runner sequences
Grueling boss fights
I'm going to get this out of the way right away: I am a hardcore Avatar fan. The show was one of the few things to hold my interest in Nick during its waning years in the mid-late 2000s. This one had it all: terrific animation, memorable characters, and a meticulously crafted lore that was easy to get lost in. So, when they announced a sequel would be coming starring the next Avatar, Korra, I was anxious to see what came next. And when it did, I was...somewhat disappointed, to be honest. The first season of the show was certainly hit-and-miss, filled with brilliant animation and intriguing villains but also burdened by pointless love triangles and deus-ex-machina endings. But once past that initial hurdle, the series starts to pick up, and by season three it becomes every bit as awesomely cool as its parent series. So, when I learned the video game adaptation was being helmed by Bayonetta developer Platinum Games, anticipation reached a fever pitch. I mean, the game had the perfect license and the perfect developer, so what could possibly go wrong? The game has to be an intense, frenetic beat-em-up that does the series proud, right? Right?
Honestly, the story wasn't at all what I was expecting. And by that, I mean I was not expecting such a dull, shallow plot. I suppose it would have been unreasonable to expect the same quality of storytelling as the show, but at the very least I was hoping for a fun little piece of filler in between the real meat. So, here's how it goes: After a pro bending match, Korra comes across a creepy old man who strips her of her bending powers, she slowly gets them back, chases him throughout various parts of the human and spirit worlds, and, um...that's it. The animated cutscenes through which it's told are nice, but the cutscenes themselves have absolutely no substance to them. There's no humor, no surprises, and hardly even any characters apart from Korra herself - Mako and Bolin are literally thrown away in the first few minutes, and fan-favorites Asami and Tenzin are absent entirely. The only character who is present at all is Tenzin's spirit-savvy daughter, Jinora, who shows up on occasion to provide hints. If you count the menus, Iroh himself also has a cameo as the proprietor of the shop where you buy items, which is a nice touch, but not enough to forgive the udder lack of a proper tale.
But a lackluster story can be forgiven if the gameplay were up to snuff, and in this regard, the game makes an OK first impression. The game throws you straight into the action, with Korra using her bending abilities to fight off a seemingly endless legion of angry spirits. These first few minutes are pretty nice, letting you switch between each of Korra's powers on the fly, getting a feel for how each one of them works. After this crazy opening, the game throws you into its first minigame, pro-bending, the fictional sport in the show where you compete with the opposing team to try and knock them off the other edge of the arena. It's obvious the devs put some effort into making it feel authentic, and the spit second timing involved in countering your opponents blows while throwing some of your own certainly makes for a well-paced little minigame. It isn't deep enough to hold your interest for more than a few matches, but as pleasant diversion to spend a few minutes with it does its job just fine.
Sadly, once I was thrown into the first level proper, things immediately took a turn for the worse. Korra, having lost her bending, was thrust into a bland-looking series of alleyways where she had to fight off hordes of enemies without bending. Seriously, who the f*** thought this was a good idea? The only reason anyone wants to play as Korra in the first place is to use her awesome bending moves. Perhaps this would be excusable if the level were well designed, but it's not. You simply run around a series of alleyways beating people up with our fists, which unfortunately sets a precedent for the rest of the levels in the game. When you get your first bending style in the game's next level, you start to breath a sigh of relief, as things do start to get more fun. Before that, though, you have to deal with the game's third and final level type, the endless runner sequences where you ride Korra's polar bear Naga. There more or less your basic endless runner sequences, where you simply push left, right, up and down to avoid obstacles as she runs toward the end of the level. At best, they're perfectly OK, if uninspired. At worst, the trial-and-error nature of some sections make them downright annoying. Later levels try to mix things up by throwing in boss fights that let Korra use her bending while riding, but I found this only made them even more frustrating.
At its core, though, the actual combat isn't bad at all. Though it takes far too long to unlock all four bending styles, the game starts to pick up as you gain a new form of bending, and they all look cool and feel different enough that they're fun to play around with for at least a little while: water is the long-range form of attack, while earth is good for brute force beatdowns. Fire is the most traditional kung-fu style brawling of the four, and air (my personal favorite) lets you create cyclones and tornadoes to utterly devastate enemies over a wide area. The counter system, once I got used to the split-second timing that governs it, also works well, and allows Korra to pull off a cool looking move after successfully blocking an enemy, such as a barrage of rock blasts.
The problem, then, lies not with the combat itself, but with everything that surrounds it. Throughout the game, you'll spend most of your time fighting the same few 'men-in-masks' up until the final hours, when you'll instead fight a handful of spirit monsters. This doesn't make for a whole lot of variety in combat encounters, and they don't have any vulnerability to a specific bending style, nor do they boast any special AI behavior like try to stay out of your range. So, once you pick a style you feel most comfortable with, there's little reason to switch out. The camera leaves something to be desired as well. As with any flawed beat-em-up game, it's difficult to get it at just the right angle to see what's happening onscreen, leaving enemies with ample opportunities to get some cheap shots in. The game does have a lock-on system to keep track of an enemy, but when there's more than one on-screen, it's pretty random as to just which enemy it locks on to, so getting the one you want basically requires pushing the button over and over. So yeah, the lock-on system sucks.
And what of the boss fights? Surely Platinum Games, as they've proven time and time again, could at least provide some epic, challenging bosses for us to conquer? Well, scale back your expectations a bit. The handful of bosses you fight over and over are painfully dull, repetitive affairs. Sure, there are some nifty counter moves to be done, but it's not enough for them to rise above the level of 'normal enemies with larger health bars,' and the minuscule damage caused by most attacks make these bosses far longer (and more annoying) than they need to be. To be fair, it's clear a bit more effort went into the design of the final boss, but like the others it drags on for far too long and can't help but feel monotonous. And the stupidest thing about all this? Your healing items, which you will use fairly often, are gone for good after you use them, even if you die and are sent back to an earlier checkpoint. So, basically, if you use up all your items during a particularly difficult boss and still get beaten, you'll have no other alternative than to buy more. I fail to comprehend how anyone could possibly have thought this was a good idea.
At the very least, the game's production values certainly match the series' pretty well. I've already touched upon the pretty animated cutscenes, but the in-game graphics...hold up pretty well. The cel-shaded art style certainly makes the characters look the part; Korra looks just like her animated counterpart, and her distinct animations for each bending style make the battles look cool, at the very least. The enemies look and animate decent as well, particularly the spirits, although they're repeated far too often over the course of the levels. On the other hand, the environments are just plain dull - most of them are just devoid of any kind of life. This does make some sense for the levels set in the North Pole, and the air temple which was empty for a reason, but the usually bustling Republic City is strangely empty aside from some cars driving in the background. Even if you don't factor in the seemingly dead city, traveling seemingly empty corridors gets old after a while, no matter where it is.
The sound, on the other hand, is the one area I could call an unqualified success. While it's disappointing that you hear very little of the show's cast, Janet Varney thankfully doesn't phone it in, even as Korra mostly talks to herself for the majority of the game. Hearing Iroh is pretty nice as well, and the villain, bland as he is, at least sounds suitably creepy. The show's excellent soundtrack is kept as well, and Jeremy Zuckerman's Asian-inspired background music is perfectly suited to the action. Overall, the sound leaves very little to actively complain about.
So, exactly what went wrong with Legend of Korra? Is it that the developer behind HUGELY ENTERTAINING beat-em-ups like Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising didn't know how to make a beat-em-up based on a show that has a character regularly BEATING THE SHIT out of bad guys? Or perhaps their brand of frenetic, intense action calls for a much larger budget than was spared for this game. In any case, this was a very disappointing and at times frustrating experience for this avid LoK fan. For fans of the series, you can rent it, beat it in a few hours, spend a few extra minutes in the pro-bending league, and then move on with your life. Maybe someday someone somewhere will deliver a game worthy of the terrific license, but alas, that day is not today. Better luck next life, Avatar.
Gameplay: 5/10
Graphics: 7/10
Sound: 8/10
Value: 4/10
Overall: **1/2 (2.5/5)
Nick games review: Nickelodeon Kart Racers (Switch)
Nick's first Kart Racing game on Switch remains stuck in neutral.
Pros:
Interesting boost system and RPG-like leveling
Cons:
Controls are either loose or sluggish, depending on the difficulty
Uninteresting track design
Paltry selection of racers
Rubbish graphics, especially in handheld mode
Irritating music
No voices
Given the large number of iconic characters from Nickelodeon's huge library of shows over the years, it stands to reason that the network would use them to ride on the wave of Mario Kart clones. Thee have been past efforts to mimic the formula, to mixed results, so it was anyone's guess as to how this one would turn out. In all honesty, Bamtang Games could have probably just settled for making an average kart racing game that featured the young demographic's favorite characters and fans would have been satisfied. That was certainly my expectation, so it's disappointing to note that they've failed to hit even that modest threshold. Nickelodeon Kart Racers is so massively underwhelming in just about every department that it's hard to see even the youngest Nick fans deriving much enjoyment from it.
From the moment you boot up the game, you'll already start to notice how poorly made it is. You're greeted with an ugly menu complete with a low-quality midi-tune playing in the background, and it only gets worse once you go to select a racer. The character select screen allows you to select a total of twelve racers - that's right, TWELVE - from only four Nicktoons, Spongebob, Hey Arnold, TMNT and Rugrats, which is absolutely pathetic and an insult to fans. Where are the classics like CatDog? Jimmy Neutron? Fairly OddParents? I get those shows have been out of the public conscious for a while, but when you got an old show like Hey Arnold that younger viewers likely wouldn't be familiar with, why skimp on the rest? And anyway, what about some of the shows that ARE still running on Nick, like The Loud House? As it stands, the amount of representation here for both old and new fans is pathetic, and will likely leave viewers both young and old in the cold.
If its Kart Racing mechanics were at least competent, it might be possible to forgive the limited character roster. To its credit, the karts at least feel okay to drive, with responsive steering and a functional drift mechanic. Unfortunately, while the actual racing remains functional, it never aspires to be anything more.
Put simply, the game plays out like a poor man's Mario Kart 8. There are three difficulty levels, none of which really make driving much fun. On the first two, your kart moves almost painfully slowly, like driving a golf kart, which makes races feel like they drag on for longer than they should. Expert difficulty, conversely, gives the karts a major speed boost at the expense of precise control. It seems like Bamtang was unable to find just the right balance in regards to speed.
Also like in MK8, the karts switch between land, sea, and air at different points in the track, which doesn't work nearly as well as it did in Mario Kart since the controls when not on solid ground don't feel nearly as responsive. Driving through slime in particular can be a major pain in the ass, since drifting inexplicably doesn't work when your kart is a boat. There are also a litany of items themed after the different shows, like a baby bottle that explodes on contact, a pizza that obscures vision, and a football that homes in on other racers. Sure, it wouldn't be a kart racer without them, but since the game provides no explanation as to what any of them do, you're left to simply use one and see what happens, and even when you do, the lackluster visual effects make them feel less than satisfying.
It doesn't help that the tracks you drive on are about as bog-standard as it gets. There are twenty-four of them, which are pulled from one of the four shows in the game, as you'd expect. From a gameplay standpoint, none make for a particularly exciting racing experience. They're competently laid out, and come with the occasional shortcut and branching path, but lack any environmental hazards or set pieces that give them that extra spark.
To their credit, though, some of them at least evoke some sense of location, with the Spongebob-themed Bikini Bottom Boogie Nights featuring familiar locations like the Krusty Krab and Mrs Puff's Boating School, and the Rugrats track Birthday Bash taking you around a tour of the Pickles' home. But sadly, once you actually spend some time on the track, you'll start to realize how lifeless they all feel. There's just not much going on in the background to give them that extra bit of character. What's more, you'll soon start to notice that several tracks are simply slightly-tweaked rehashes of others. Two nearly-indistinguishable tracks take place in Dimension X, and I counted no fewer than three that take place in a school. Of course, it wouldn't be Nickelodeon without slime, and sure enough, every track has sections of it, and some take place entirely on slime. So, when you're not looking at dull scenery, you'll be looking at endless green sewage.
Actually, on the topic of slime, it's one of the few interesting mechanics in the game. As you collect slime, a meter will fill up consisting of three bars. By pressing the boost button, you can gain a burst of speed at the cost of one full bar. But if you wait until the meter is filled up, you can execute a longer burst of speed that knocks opposing racers out of the way. It's nothing particularly groundbreaking, but it adds a neat element of strategy that makes the vanilla racing just a smidge more enjoyable.
The one other interesting mechanic the game adds, unfortunately, isn't executed particularly well. There's an RPG-leveling mechanic in place, where you gain xp by winning races, thereby increasing stats like speed, grip, and handling. It's a neat idea that a few other racing games have used to great effect. The problem here is that completing a race earns you only a handful of xp, so actually gaining a level can require as much as six races, and it's unlikely anyone will have the patience to slog through that many races just to level up. Beyond the level up system, players can collect coins from races and use them to buy things like engines and tires, but I didn't find these made any significant difference in a race.
In keeping with the quality of the gameplay, the presentation of Nick Kart Racers is thoroughly lackluster. The environments, though somewhat faithful to their animated counterparts, all look flat and drab, like something from a gamecube game circa 2004. Similarly, the characters are all poorly translated into 3D, with lifeless animations and a general uncanny feel. What's more, even with the general low quality of the visuals, the performance is poor. The game attempts to run at 30 frames per second, but it frequently fails to reach even that modest rate, especially when a lot of karts are onscreen, and that's not even mentioning the pop-in horrors that await for those who dare play in handheld mode. Soundwise, there's also not much worthy of praise. The music tracks are all irritating midi-tunes that don't sound anything like the music from the Nicktoons. But the final insult is the complete lack of voices. Instead, you'll see speech bubbles pop up when something happens on the track. Without those, the game fails to capture any of the colorful personality of its rich roster of characters, completely sucking away what little life the game might have had.
In the end, there just isn't much reason to play Nickelodeon Kart Racers. The shit graphics, dull driving, and pathetic character roster make it impossible to recommend even to hardcore Nick fans. Granted, I am well aware of the game's purpose to provide a relatively cheap game to get the young'uns who're dying to play a game with their favorite cartoon characters, and if you can find it in a bargain bin somewhere, it's a relatively painless bet. Personally, though, my advice would be to simply introduce your kids to Mario Kart; otherwise find an old ps1 somewhere and get them the far superior Nicktoons Racing.
Gameplay: 3
Graphics: 3
Sound: 3
Value: 3
Overall: *1/2 (1 1/2 out of 5)
Hello? How's it going?
'Ello, gov'nor.
Nick Games review: Nicktoons Racing ps1
Pros:
Great roster of Nick characters
Graphics and music capture the Nicktoons' vibe
Solid driving controls
Cons:
No statistical differences between racers
Uneven, and sometimes just plain cheap, track design
Items are poorly balanced, take too long to recover from
Powersliding and boosting are poorly implemented
Kart Racing games have become one of the most popular genres for companies to stick their licenses in. Name just about any popular character you can think of and I can guarantee you there's a racer with them in it. M&Ms, James Bond, Looney Tunes, all of them have taken a stab at mimicking Mario Kart. Sometimes they turn out decent, other times they feel like just a transparent attempt to cash-in on the craze. Nickelodeon's entry into the genre falls somewhere in between these two camps. There are times where you'll be having a blast shooting coconuts at racers, listening to them scream in frustration as you pass them by, and others where you'll be cursing as you are left in the dust after being staggered for a full three seconds or bump against a wall or one of the tracks' many roadblocks - often within a single race.
The first few minutes don't do much to inspire confidence. After the opening cutscene, in which it's explained that a black-clad 'Mystery Rider' has gotten Nickelodeon characters together for a race, you're thrown into the game's menus. It's here that you'll hear one of the most obnoxious sound effects in existence. Every time, every time you move the cursor to an option, a horn will briefly honk. Oh, and even if you don't, you'll have to put up with an obnoxious bounce when you just let the game sit on a option. Whoever thought it was a good idea to populate the menus with these ear-splitting sounds should be fired.
Once you're past the grating horn effects, it's off to the character select screen, and here you'll see a healthy selection of Nick racers. You'll likely recognize all the old favorites, like Spongebob, Patrick, Arnold, and Stimpy. There are some odd omissions, like Rocko, Doug, and Zim, but given I don't know the exact circumstances regarding exactly who the creators allowed in the game, I can't really complain over who wasn't there. If there's a real downside, it's that there are no strengths and weaknesses to distinguish the characters. If you've played kart racers before, you'd know that one of the major factors when choosing a racer is their individual statistics like weight, speed, and acceleration. In Nicktoons racer, there are no such aspects. Each racer more or less plays exactly the same, so the differences between them are purely aesthetic. It makes it very easy to choose your favorite character, but it also removes any element of strategy gained by working with each racer's respective strengths and weaknesses, which is a shame.
Once you pick your character, it's on to the track. The main attraction is the Cups, basically a racing circuit reminiscent of the ones from Mario Kart. Fortunately, the actual racing feels OK. Steering is responsive, and there is no shortage of the items that pay homage to the Nicktoons in the game. Some, like the Spongebob themed jellyfish, are shot right at an opposing racer, while others, like the Rugrats-themed talcum powder that slows karts down, are left behind on the track for other racers to run over. The tracks you'll race on are where the game hits a few roadblocks. There are some highlights, particularly early on. The ones in the 50 CC circuit, like the Rugrats themed Reptar Raceway and the Spongebob themed Bikini Bottom Blowout, are laid out quite well, with plenty of wide-open space, branching pathways, and shortcuts. The tracks in the next circuit, particularly the Ren and Stimpy themed Race Madness, began to wear at my patience. Featuring narrow corridors where it's easy to scrape into walls, loads of obstacles to bump into and a confusing maze-like layout (there are arrows pointing you in the right direction, but they're easy to miss when you're blazing through at high speeds), playing it is simply more of a hassle than it should be.
Many of these later tracks, with their tight corners, actually feel like they're built around the powerslide mechanic, which leads into another problem with the racing: powersliding sucks. It simply slides in too wide an arc to effectively lead you around corners. Frankly, you'll find that it's often easier to just take the turns without sliding. There's also a boost that's charged by picking up boost items scattered around the track, but its inclusion feels like a waste. In Mario Kart, much of the strategy came from using your boost at just the right time to get the lead. In Nixktoons Racing, it simply isn't possible to keep the boosts in reserve, since the meter drains if you let it sit for long. Frankly, if they were gonna force you to use it immediately they might as well have just placed more boost pads. Instead, you'll sometimes quickly use it when you're in the line of obstacles or tight corners, leading to several seconds being wasted as you try to regain your footing. So, basically, karts are great to control in wide-open spaces, but in close quarters and tight corners, it sucks.
The item usage also leaves something to be desired. It's not that the items are bad but rather that they tend to be a bit too effective. Recovering from being staggered by one of the other racer's items takes a whopping three seconds, during which time plenty of racers are bound to speed by. Too often winning feels less about driving skill and more about whoever was lucky enough not to get hit before crossing the finish line. And it's not like they're even especially well-balanced, since it's totally random as to which one you'll get, no matter which position you find yourself in. If you're in last place, what good will the dropped items like the trash can be?
Aside from the cups, there are a handful of other game modes you can partake in. Race for Fun is more or less how it sounds, a single race where you can win some (rather pointless) trinkets. Time Trial is, you guessed it, you running a race on your own and recording your time. Sounds fun, right? The last one, Relay Race, is the most interesting in concept. In the relay race, you select a team of three racers and switch to a new one as you finish each lap. The coolest thing about this mode is that hitting your next racer dead-on at the finish line gives you a speed boost to start the next lap, actually rewarding precise driving. Unfortunately, aside from that one neat gimmick, the relay race once again feels like missed potential. Without any stats to differentiate racers, any strategy gained from making a well-balanced team is lost, making the mode something of a waste.
At the very least, the game can't be faulted for its production. The tracks are all colorful and detailed, and do a great job of representing their respective Nicktoons, with Race Madness and the Hey Arnold-inspired Gritty City circuit serving as particular highlights in this regard. Likewise, the racers with only one or two exceptions translate solidly into the third dimension, aided by an early use of cel-shading to make them better match their cartoon counterparts. Sound-wise, obnoxious sound effects notwithstanding, the characters all have voice clips taken from the show, and while it's nice to hear characters like Spongebob talk smack when they land a hit on an enemy, you'll unfortunately hear these same clips over and over. There's only so many times you can hear Tommy cry in pain before you're ready to just turn the voices off. At least the soundtrack is good, with pieces that are a good match for the cartoons their respective tracks represent.
When all is said and done, Nicktoons Racing is a great bit of fan-service attached to a less-than-stellar kart racer. The Nicktoons are represented well, and the production values or solid, but the underlying racing is just too flawed to hold the interest of seasoned racing game aficionados for more than a few races. Fans who are looking for a good crossover of their favorite Nickelodeon characters could certainly do worse, but if you're looking for a great kart racer - or even a decent Mario Kart clone - you could do a whole lot better.
Gameplay: 6
Graphics: 8
Sound: 6
Value: 6
Overall: ***(3/5)
Nick Games review: Avatar: The Last Airbender PS2
Pros:
Solid use of the Avatar license
Well-implemented RPG upgrade system
Cons:
Combat is shallow and repetitive
No co-op
Side quests are a waste of time
Loads of tedious fetch quests
Only eight hours long at best
Avatar: The Last Airbender is perhaps Nickelodeon's most beloved property, and it's easy to see why. In an era where most children's entertainment consists of lighthearted, comedic slice-of-life shows like Spongebob Squarepants, Avatar did something daring by actually giving us an ambitious serialized story rich with lore and character development. Needless to say, the risk paid off. With how beloved the property was, it was only a matter of time before video games hit the market. The series certainly seems perfect for one, with a main character who can fly, create tornados, and just jump around and kick ass. Can the first video game do it justice, or is it just hot air?
If you've seen the cartoon, you know the basic story. The world is split into four nations that correspond to an element they 'bend' - Fire, Water, Earth, Air - and the main protagonist, Aang, is the Avatar, the hero tasked with mastering all four elements and saving the world from the threat of the Fire Nation, which wiped out his people one hundred years prior and is now waging war on the remaining two nations. But the plot of this particular game doesn't directly follow the events of the show and is actually an original story set between the first and second seasons. In this game, Aang now has to combat a group of machines that have been wreaking havoc in an effort to take down the Fire Nation and help Aang put an end to the war. I don't know why Aang feels the need to stop the mastermind behind the attacks when they clearly have the same end goal in mind, but as a filler side-story, it does its job well enough. At the very least, the show's humor and characterizations are readily apparent, though the writing isn't as strong.
Avatar's gameplay is an isometric action-RPG in the vein of games like Baldur's Gate, complete with character upgrades and equippable items. You have four characters to choose from- Aang, the Avatar who can bend air, Katara, the group's water bender and healer, Sokka, an oafish non-bender who wields a boomerang, and Haru, an earth bender who was a one-off character in the show but was made a part of the group here, presumably to have a playable earth bender in the game (this started development well before Toph was introduced). Sadly, aside from Katara's ability to heal, they all feel roughly the same, so once you find a favorite character, there's not much incentive to switch. The only time you'll actually need to make use of the unique abilities of a particular character is when you come across parts of the environment where one of them will make use of his abilities to either unveil a hidden item or open a path using their particular bending, leading to their 'focus move,' a button pressing minigame. It's tolerable enough the first few times you do it, but by the end of the game you'll have gotten weary of it. Oh, and there's also some rudimentary stealth, where characters can hide using a button to become invisible for a short period of time (yeah, as far as I know, no one can do this in the show).
For most of the game, you're wandering around a centralized hub world either completing story-related quests or accepting tasks from the NPCs scattered around town. The tasks you undertake are of the typical 'find x number of items' or 'defeat x number of enemies' or the much less mundane 'go to this point, find something, then bring it back here.' Even the story-related quests tend to follow a fairly predictable pattern of fetching items and bringing them back to the quest-giver. So, whether you decide to follow the main story or deviate from the beaten path, much of the game will be spent running back and forth doing menial tasks. It's not like the rewards for taking the time to complete these quests make a huge difference, anyway. Usually you'll be given either currency or material to make items, but since you'll probably come across plenty of these anyway, you'll find that these monotonous tasks simply aren't worth your time. If you simply rush through without completing these quests, you can complete the story in under six hours, although even if you do complete them, it should reach the eight-to-ten hour mark, which still isn't great for an action-RPG.
With the quests being as mundane as they are, it's up to the combat to maintain players' interest, and unfortunately, it doesn't do much to pick up the slack. This is due mostly to its mind-numbing repetition. In each chapter, you'll spend most of your time fighting the same enemies over and over again, and given there's only one button for basic attacks, most combat encounters will be spent mashing the attack button. The three computer-controlled characters won't offer much assistance, simply using special moves over and over, and enemies will simply lunge at you, or shoot projectiles a few times before stopping so you can get your hits in. Combat is simply a matter of rushing in and taking your shots before running back out to regenerate health and chi, which is essentially the energy required to use special moves. Not helping is the shoddy hit detection that saps away most of the satisfaction of slapping enemies. It's a crapshoot whether or not attacks will connect at all, and when they do it rarely feels like you've dealt your enemies a major blow. Boss fights sadly don't do much to break up the monotony. All of them follow a simplistic formula of dodging attacks until the painfully obvious weak point arrives. What's really baffling is the lack of any sort of co-op, especially considering you've got three allies at your side most of the time. As we've seen in countless brawlers, even the most basic fighting is a bit more fun when you're fighting alongside friends.
To the game's credit, though, there's actually a fairly intuitive upgrade system in place. As you level up, you learn new bending moves, and earn points for upgrading your basic attacks and special moves. The game allocates these upgrades automatically, but you can set it to be controlled manually if you like, and these special moves are the game's saving grace, adding an element of flexibility the combat otherwise lacks. They range from basic super attacks, like a blast of air that sends opponents flying, to more tactical moves built around immobilizing and disorienting opponents. There's actually a fair bit of strategizing deciding which moves you want to take in to battle, and which ones you want to upgrade the fastest. Not to mention, they actually have a fair bit more impact than your standard attacks, which makes them feel more satisfying to use. The downside is that it takes only a few levels before all four moves are unlocked. Once you find your favorite move, you'll likely use it over and over every time you fight.
Visually, Avatar is also fairly unimpressive. The game makes use of cel-shading to better resemble its animated counterparts, which looks fine during gameplay, but not so much for cutscenes, which suffer from some truly janky facial animations that make them hard to look at. The environments are decently varied, with the bustling city of Omashu serving as a highlight, but for every visually appealing area, there's another one that looks bland and empty, with jagged geometry and a lack of activity. Animations during combat are usually okay, but aside from a nice slow motion effect that occasionally triggers when you complete a combo, you'll see the same few canned animations over and over. Sound-wise, the quality also varies. As mentioned, the voice actors reprise their roles from the show, and while the dialogue isn't as well written as in the show, they do a more than capable job, though hearing them spout the same lines over and over when getting hit is bound to get on your nerves. The music is also taken from the show, although there's a strange mixing issue where it sometimes sounds like it's coming from a radio. Otherwise, it generally stays in the background and adds to the ambience, although it's not especially memorable.
Avatar is one of the better Nicktoon-based games out there, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't disappointing. It's a shame, since the framework for a really good action-RPG set in the Avatar universe is certainly there. But the game simply doesn't capitalize on its potential, instead settling for being a merely average, somewhat dull brawler attached to a great license. At the very least, it adapts its source material well enough that fans won't regret spending a few hours with it, and hopefully later games can improve upon the solid foundation laid by this one.
Gameplay: 6
Graphics: 6
Sound: 6
Value: 6
Overall:***(3/5)
Greetings, patrons!
Would you say season 11 of Bob’s Burgers was, how shall we say, undercooked?
Greetings Mr. Enter. I just watched your Fame and Misfortune review and wanted to tell you that I liked it a lot. Mainly because I actually hadn't noticed the episode's moral's flimsiness until you brought it up. But I have to ask, have you seen "The Perfect Pear" yet? And if so, do you plan to do a review on it? (Also, if you want good shows from 2017, try "Legend Quest" (Netlfix), the "Craig of the Creek" pilot (CN YouTube), "OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes" (CN), and "Welcome to the Wayne" (Nick).
Perfect Pair is an amazing episode, and a standout of season seven. I don’t know if I’d review that episode in particular though, since it’s not my absolute favorite episode that aired since after I stopped reviewing.
Welcome to the Wayne, sadly, got treated even worse than Harvey Beaks. Nick more or less abandoned it after its first week. Shame, since it had a shit-ton of potential.
What are some candidates for the best cartoons of the 2010s? I know your #1 would obviously be BoJack Horseman.
Alright. Hopefully I won’t forget any this time. There’ve been a lot of really good cartoons this decade. Keep in mind there’s still a lot of shows I need to watch and get a feel of, and underrated gems that I need to uncover
2010 - Adventure Time; Regular Show; Friendship is Magic; Generator Rex; Sym-Bionic Titan; Young Justice
2011 - Dan Vs; Amazing World of Gumball
2012 - Gravity Falls;
2013 - Rick and Morty; Steven Universe
2014 - BoJack Horseman; Over the Garden Wall;
2015 - Star vs. the Forces of Evil; We Bare Bears
2016 - Loud House; Milo Murphy’s Law
2017 - DuckTales 2017
(I really need to watch some of the other good cartoons released this year).
You missed a few:
2011: Bob’s Burgers
2014: Star Wars Rebels
would you say there are any episodes of American Dad or The Cleveland Show that are Atrocity-worthy?
Yes, definitely. I’ll be doing at least one episode of American Dad. Dunno about the Cleveland Show because it doesn’t even really feel like it’s worth caring about.
As for Cleveland Show, I don’t think there’s much to say other than it’s really bland.
