Dead Gay Wizards From The 70s

27 | UK | Minors DNI Slytherin | Marauders | Starchaser | Wolfstar Many of my ships and headcanons clash with one another, don’t come for me Fuck JKR DP beautifully drawn by @vini213

[reggiesnote]

When Jegulus gets together Sirius threatens Reg and warns him to not hurt James. Regulus stays awake at night wondering if his brother would care if the opposite happened

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a busser came up with the idea on their break and a barista fact-checked it while they cleaned the espresso machine and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[lierdumoa]

BTVS was soooooo crazy because joss whedon was like "I'm going to write an incel revenge fantasy where I turn the leather wearing bad boy I was jealous of in high school into a loser cuck! I'm going to literally paralyze him from the waist down so his dick doesn't work and then make him watch his girlfriend make out with a guy taller than him and call that guy daddy in front of him! I'm going to write a million scenes of him getting beat up by girls and even show him having to be rescued by a girl in a princess carry and another scene where he gets tortured by a girl and have mad scientists metaphorically castrate him on a lab table and I'll write a weirdly homoerotic scene in which the boyfriend of the woman he's in love with breaks into his home and shoves him against a wall and impales him with a plastic phallic object" and james marsters was like "sounds hot I can't wait to play this character I'm going to make him look slutty and turned on the entire time" and five million teen girls gays and theys in the viewing audience had the weirdest possible sexual awakening

[rablovergirl]

James gets so dizzy and spacy when Regulus sucks him off for the first time. He's been given a blowjob before and it was fine but it was never as good as other guys described, it was never that mind-bending experience that he hoped for. Then Regulus gets his mouth on him. Regulus who spends extra time licking and sucking at the tip, who isn't afraid to gag around him, to get messy. He moans around him, lets James grab him by the hair and fuck his face.

James is a wreck, he's tired, moaning and praising Regulus, getting even dizzier as Regulus starts to tear up as he looked up. "Good—fuck—such a good boy. So fuckin' pretty—god, I'm gonna—"

Regulus is the exact same when it comes to James eating him out. No one else has ever cared to put enough effort into it. But James asks him to sit on his face and suffocate him. James has to pull Regulus down onto him, regulus holds onto the bedframe for support and his thighs shake against James' face. James doesn't let up, he doesn't get bored. He barely pulls away to take a breath. He lets Regulus rock down onto his face, put more pressure on him.

Regulus whines, it's James' first time seeing just how pretty he is when he cries and sobs. Regulus lets his eyes roll back, his hips buck into James' mouth.

The oral fixation is strong in both of them.

[peckedpolaris]

fic where remus and regulus r study buddies

but its been months (years really) of remus denying his feelings for sirius but talking about them and sirius non-stop and regulus is about to say fuck it and deal with it once and for all

so there remus is, spouting poetry about sirius' eyes, heart, legs, arse, laugh, whatever while also being adamant that theyre just bros

and there regulus is, drafting his "im sorry i killed your friend, are we still brothers?" letter to sirius for after he Deals with remus

when remus says "but of course i think he's pretty. he's a black. all blacks are pretty. so its not a crush on sirius. its just the effects of being near a black; its just a matter of sirius being a black, ya know?"

and regulus, without hesitation or rlly any thought, kisses remus

and remus is flabbergasted; jaw dropped, man's world is turning, as he tries to figure out how to politely let down his bestie-not-crush's little brother

and regulus is, calm as ever, studying again

remus: what--wHAT WAS THAT

regulus: a kiss; or are you so idiotic that you do not know what that is]

remus: i /know/ what a kiss is; i just dont know why YOU kissed ME

regulus: ugh, must i spell out everything; i am a black, sirius' brother at that

remus: i KNOW sirius is going to skin me alive

regulus, ignoring him: and now you know what's it like to kiss a black; so you can figure out whether your attraction to sirius is solely due to him being a black, or him being, well, sirius

remus:

remus: huh

regulus: so?

remus: oh holy fuck; im in love with sirius

regulus: good; now that thats settled, can we get back to work

[tulaimesbienalors]

[padfoots-leather-jacket]

No you think that Remus John Lupin is a hot sexy man, I think he is the most average looking man in the whole wide world. He's okay. Not too handsome, not too ugly. And Sirius is down bad for him. Sirius looks at him and thinks that he is the most beautiful man in the whole wide world actually, he starts believing in god when the sunlight shines on his skin, he has heart eyes visible from the moon.

while remus is just- long wet noodle boy

[the-wizard-star]

before james and regulus learnt the other existed, before marlene and dorcas learnt to speak to each other without snapping in annoyance, the gryffindors and the slytherins were interconnected by one peter pettigrews continuous inability to stop buying weed from a suspiciously trustworthy, deceptively stupid looking fag named barty crouch jr

[leoreturns-deactivated20110811]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

This post is 12 years old today

[peckedpolaris]

james: stop being so pissed; lets talk about this properly, baby black; since we share sirius

regulus, pissed: if you don't leave me alone, im going to tell sirius you hexed me

james:

james: what??? i havent !!! ever!!!

regulus: sirius doesnt know that

james: ??? sirius knows i wouldnt!!! ur his brother! he's my best friend

regulus: so?

james: he knows me! he knows i wouldnt

regulus: sure. maybe. but you think im gonna go to him without proof

james:

james: you're gonna hex yourself?

regulus, scoffing: of course not

regulus: im going to cry

james:

regulus: sirius hasnt seen me cry since i was 8; if i go to him, and cry, he wont think of the logics; he wont think 'oh would james do that?' 'is my little brother emotionally manipulating me?'; he'll just be pissed

james:

james, weakly: what if i tell him you said this

regulus: what? you think he'll believe that id willingly embarrass myself by crying

james:

james:

regulus: i would crawl in and out of hell, just to make things uncomfortable and miserable for you

james:

james: all i said was that holyhead harpies didn't have the best season this season

regulus: you bitch

[peckedpolaris]

sirius' friends call regulus "regulus" even tho sirius calls him a range of nicknames; from normal and cute "reg" "reggie" to weird and stupid "nugget" "tomato" and even regulus' friends call him nicknames

he doesnt think about it, until one of sirius' friends calls him "reg" and then immediately apologizes and he's like "??????"

it turns out that 11 yrs old sirius threatened his friends to only call regulus "regulus"; and where sirius meant it as "u better not deadname my brother"; since he never actually outed regulus, his friends just took it as "dont call my brother nicknames"

[peckedpolaris]

sirius: now that the war is over, i think reggies starting to realize just what he lost when he left home; he's really going through it

remus: oh poor guy; is he in his room

sirius: yeah, im trying to give him space

*regulus at a muggle gay club*

regulus, sandwiched between like two hot as fuck ppl: shouldve gotten disowned earlier

[peckedpolaris]

lily: i have a plan

regulus:

regulus: um hello?

lily: im lily. lily evans

regulus: oh i know. im regulus black....

regulus: is there a reason you're sitting here?

lily: yes, i have a plan

regulus:

regulus: congratulations

lily: and it involves you

regulus:

regulus: okay you're going to have to explain. i dont even know you

lily: potter lent me his jumper the other day

regulus: ?

lily: but he's usually a total toe-rag and i thought i could get revenge

regulus: fair

lily: and that's where you come in

regulus: you want me to hex his jumper---of wait is the jumper a distraction---i'll hex off his arms--

lily: woah calm down.

lily: no, you're gonna give the jumper back to potter for me

regulus:

regulus: your definition of revenge is lame, count me out

lily: in front of sirius

regulus: still lame

lily: and imply that potter gave it to you

regulus:

regulus: oh?

lily: of course, leave the details on how you would have encountered potter; how he could have lent it to you, all that really vague...

regulus:

regulus: so that sirius' gets the wrong idea

lily: exactly

regulus: oh im so in. but wait---wouldnt potter clear it up? call me a liar?

lily: sirius will be too freaked out to care. but if you're worried--

regulus: no. i have it. i'll be vague and unclear enough to imply to potter that you lent it to me, which will freak out potter as well

lily: perfect

regulus: also, let's put itching potions on this

lily: ooh, i have five :)

and that's how lily and regulus met/became friends

[mostlyvalid]

A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

[lazy-universes]

WHOA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THE POST THAT SPAWNED DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

[yourlocaltinsmith]

Happy dead dove do not eat birthday!

[jegulusposts]

ITS MY BIRTHDAY

…for a while there I really wasn’t sure if I’d make it to this one so it feels like an achievement more than anything

[mikeandwillsweddingofficiant]

yes ethereal confident androgynous sirius. but also sirius who gets bad hair days; sirius who wakes up and cant look in the mirror; sirius with body dysmorphia; sirius who, because of how he was raised, can’t accept praise so he thinks he needs to display his body to everyone for validation; sirius who hates how he looks but has to act nornal