Hereâs a transcript, if anyone wants to know what theyâre talking about:Â
Question: Only 1.5% of trees in German forests areÂ
A - fir trees B - oak trees C - spruces or D - beech?
MN: Letâs do this⊠with a.Â
GJ: A⊠fir trees. Ok. Iâm just gonna tell you now, I would have never gone for A. The entire Black Forest, everything, wherever you- itâs all fir trees (Christmas trees), everywhere! And oak trees and beech trees are such beautiful, rare trees, I mean the parquet alone, how much that costs-Â
(audience laughs)Â
(Neuer sighs)Â
(Gabi Köster looks distressed)Â
GJ: So⊠spruces, oak trees, beech trees and fir trees ⊠only 1.5% of trees in German forests are⊠FIR TREES!
(Maite Kelly loses her damn mind and starts screaming)
â⊠and Bastian Schweinsteiger is exiting the field, and he gives his captain duties toâ Manuel Neuer! The goalie that gained so much dislike from the start is now leading the red giants to their winning streak! Captain Manuel Neuer!â
I want to scream at thomas PLEASE manu is not that funny! But it's ok he's in love
On FuĂballgott Franz Beckenbauer this is every Neuller interaction these days:
I love that Thomas seems to hang on every word Manu says and laugh at all of his silly little dad jokes whenever they come. Manu isnât much of a talker, but whenever he has something to say, Thomas always listens. I love that about them đ„°
Itâs crazy, because I used to think Manu wasnât that funny, but that was before I realized his sense of humor is just drier than the Sahara Desert đ and now I love it. Hereâs some of his greatest hits (note: a lot of these are old, but thatâs because young Manu was an absolute menace lmao):
2 photos by @thomas-mueller
8 photos by @miroslavs
4 photos by @lewypool
Favorite Manuel Neuer (+camel) quotes.
Do you remember? Manuel Neuer about his drug test.
The many adventures of Manuel Neuer
â Manu vs. an annoying reporter. (x)
Video by @imakarmabutterfly
âWhere are they going?â
Video by @imakarmabutterfly
Video by @imakarmabutterfly
The ball was there! - youâll find the full translation in the comments, but this is the best part
The Coke Zero commercial - still canât believe he got snubbed at the Oscars after dropping this gem - also, definitely search up âManuel Neuer Werbungâ on YouTube if you need a laugh; his acting does not improve
A journalist asks if the 1-1 draw was Manuâs fault and Manu asks him point blank âare you fucking with me?â
Manu dancing because of course it needed a mention
Nutella and Manu: the ultimate Romeo and Juliet
Honestly every time Manuâs ever been drunk (though the 2013 triple celebration was a standout - Manuâs introduction and entrance is at around 8:05)
âIn the best hands đâ
âGuys! I have to get to rehabâŠâ (itâs the thought bubble for me lmao)
No thots just Manuâs hell yeah socks because our goatkeeper is a fashionista (we already know this diva)
And last but not least, whatever tf this was đ
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