candydripping:
Maybe he’d end up vomiting this all back up in an hour or so but right now, the cool sensation of the ice cream felt nice. For a moment, he held the tub to his wrist and slowly breathed in and out as he forced himself to focus on the sensation before he slowly followed Jen to the couch. Sometimes the trick brought him back to reality when his head was a mess but he wasn’t sure if it was worked when he was drunk. “Yeah. That’s a good idea. Though I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood to talk to everyone.” The meetings always helped but the thought of standing up there and confessing he was zero days sober made his stomach turn. “I know everyone’s supportive and shit but it’s a really shitty feeling having to tell everyone that I fucked up once again.”
Jen kept flipping through the late night channels, half looking for something interesting but she kept her sponsee in her periphery. He seemed to be trying to control his breathing, that or he was falling asleep. There’s a deep wave of relief that rolls through her chest Andrej agrees to the meeting. Some nights she worried she was the worst sponsor alive, or worse, enabling him. “You don’t have to talk right away.” Jen assures him. “And it is a shitty feeling, but I don’t know a single person in recovery who got sober on their first try. I definitely didn’t.” Finally landing on some old sci-fi rerun, the graying brunette leaned back and got a bit more comfortable, glancing over at Andrej. “You’re going to feel ashamed of yourself and judge yourself whether you talk or not- but no one in that room has the right to judge anyone. We’re there to support each other even after the fuck ups. If someone tries to make you feel small when you’re trying to be honest, I’ll knock them out.” she promises with a brief nod of her head while the left corner of her mouth tips up into something close to but not quite a smile.
