@jennerino - Tumblr Blog

Lake Mungo x Wrestling in Dirt Pits - Ethel Cain

what do they put in october and november that makes them the most ungodly mental breakdown psychosis inducing months imaginable. what are they storing in the orange leaves and generally grey drowsy atmosphere

stlowens

Czesław Miłosz, from "Notes." [ID in alt text]

anathenma

ETHEL CAIN, PHOTOGRAPHED BY IAN TORRES

whisperthatruns

Things My Son Should Know after I’ve Died

I was young once. I dug holes near a canal and almost drowned. I filled notebooks with words as carefully as a hunter loads his shotgun. I had a father also, and I came second to an addiction. I spent a summer swallowing seeds and nothing ever grew in my stomach. Every woman I kissed, I kissed as if I loved her. My left and right hands were rivals. After I hit puberty, I was kicked out of my parents’ house at least twice a year. No matter when you receive this there was music playing now. Your grandfather isn’t my father. I chose to do something with my life that I knew I could fail at. I spent my whole life walking and hid such colorful wings.

Brain Trimboli (Rattle, 2008)

goreprofonde

- David Keplinger and Bruce Bond, Whoever is not home grows sick.

mazamun

ethel cain and florence welch

antiwaradvocates

Sacheen Littlefeather has passed away on October 2nd 2022. While people remember her for her acceptance speech on behalf of Marlon Brando, know that she also ended the media blackout of the Wounded Knee occupation, won an Emmy & co-founded the American Indian AIDS Institute of San Francisco.

firstfullmoon

“I have still not gotten good at explaining this to anyone who has always wanted to be alive, or at least people who have rarely questioned their commitment to living, but there is a border between wanting to be alive and wanting to stay here, wherever here is to you, or whatever it means. It’s a border that I have found to be flimsy, a thin sheet overrun with holes. But it is a border, nonetheless. Similar to the border between, say, sadness and suffering. All these feelings can intersect, of course. But I have found it slightly more confusing when they don’t. When I maybe want to be alive, but don’t want to be in the world as it is. When I haven’t wanted to be alive, but want to cling to the varied bits of brightness that tumble into my sadness, or my suffering, which isn’t the same as a temporary haze of sadness, or a rush of anxiety. I mean suffering that requires a constant measuring of the scales between staying and leaving. Suffering that requires a consideration of how long the scale can tilt toward leaving before it becomes the only viable option. There are a lot of things in any life that aren’t left up to the people doing the living. If there is anything for a suffering person (or any person) to self-determine, it should be how they live, or if they choose to live at all.”

— Hanif Abdurraqib, in “The Art of Disappearance”

llovelymoonn

on the self

mary oliver a thousand mornings \\ marc chagall blue lovers (1914) \\ jean-paul sartre nausea

kofi

firstfullmoon

Alexis Sears, “September” [ID in alt text]

pinkmoon888

I hate that the stock response for "I'm lonely/I feel undervalued by my loved ones/I want a romantic partner" is "well do you value YOURSELF? You need to learn to enjoy being alone!" as if lonely people aren't very intimately familiar with being alone. Self esteem and love are important but they're not substitutes for companionship or friendship or romance and pretending that loneliness is a personal failure that can be fixed by self-improvement feels not only delusional but pretty cruel

unmakingandincorporeality

You learn to love yourself by example—by finding people who love you and seeing how they do it. Loving yourself will make you better at loving others. Loving others and being loved will make you better at loving yourself. Love is not a building, where you need to pour the foundation and let it dry before you start putting up beams. Love is a forest, growing simultaneously taller and deeper and in the company of other growing things.