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+ jennifer shrader lawrence, once a fake archer, currently a walking mess with a drunk alter ego, making inappropriate jokes at the worst moments since '90. 📍 » bayview.

[jennlaws]

❤ 1.445.975 likes.

@jenniferlawrence:  Guess who didn’t read the ‘ATV’ part of ‘ATV Tour’ and thought it’d be a simple walking tour? This is me on my walk of shame back to my tent to get changed real quick. Courtesy of @emmastnc, thanks boo 💙😬

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[jennlaws]

caccolahq​:

Somehow I’ve blinked and I’m enjoying the little notification that popped up on my phone reminding me that a year ago today I moved into town. Apparently I set a reminded in my phone titled a ‘a year ago today your life changed’ and boy has it ever! Not really sure where the last year has gone because it doesn’t feel like it’s been that, maybe a few months – but, besides getting lost in that fact I started packing for the upcoming trip, which not knowing where we’re going for someone that’s mildly OCD is a struggle. Not to mention I’ve now lost my keys to the store front among one of these bags… so that goes with saying I can’t believe in a month I’m hoping to open the doors to a new jewelry boutique in town that’ll hopefully give back to the town and some of our favorite charities throughout the year! That is… if I find the keys. What about everyone else? Are you scrambling to get ready for the trip? @townofbayview​

I suppose that means you’re gonna throw a fantastic party for all of us to attend? If that’s not the case, we’re all gonna be so, so disappointed... I’m kidding, kidding, that’s awesome! Love that for you, staying here in Bayview through thick and thin, that makes you a real one. I stopped paying attention to how fast time goes the second I realized I wasn’t in my twenties anymore. I’m turning thirty-one next month, and somehow that’s just... that’s not right, there’s gotta be some kind of mistake. I must have fallen into a deep sleep five years ago and now I’m just waking up after all that time, I’m so disoriented. I just still feel like a kid, it’s hard to believe I’m a full grown adult sometimes... I even forget to act like one every once in a while, whoops. I’m ready to get out of here for a few days, yeah! Not that I don’t love my house here, but a change in scenery never kill nobody, right?

[jennlaws]

townofjonas​:

For anyone who ever watched the Olympics and thought, ‘I could do that,’ let me tell you something, you can’t. Tomorrow, July 21, three average joes or jonas’ will try all types of Olympic sports… it will be a mess, but it will be a fun watch! As you can tell, doing selfish self-promoting here. Anyway, I’m Nick, the winner of the series, kidding, kidding, but it was a lot of fun to work on. Tell me your favorite sports, and if you don’t have any, tell me your favorite takeaway restaurant because all this working out got me hungry. @townofbayview​

So you’re saying it’s time for me to tell my alter ego Gail to stop with the nonsense? Damn it, she was having too much fun thinking she could jump like Simone Biles. I guess we’re never gonna be as amazing as those kids, huh? Do you think it’s too old for us to start going to gymnastics? I actually kind of enjoy watching soccer, I don’t know why. Just a bunch of dudes running around a ball and dropping on the ground in pure excrutiating pain while they barely even get touched... it’s so bizzare, but it makes for a good time with friends. Swimming is pretty cool too, don’t you think?

[jennlaws]

brieview​:

So I’ve seen way too many movies about the girl that moves to a new town alone, introduces herself to everybody by asking for sugar or directions and then turns out to be a psycho killer or a stalker, that I’m actually kinda suss about my own intentions for packing up my whole life and moving to Bayview. Hopefully, I’m not the crazy new neighbour but ironically, I did forget to pack sugar and coffee so I do already need to beg and fit into that cliche whilst hoping you all take pity on me and don’t run away scared. Hey Bayviewians, I’m Alison - your new resident crazy cat lady and not a serial killer trying to up her body count by befriending you all. Pinky promise. 

Hang on... now you’ve planted the seed of doubt in my head, I don’t know if I can trust you, new neighbor! You think you can just say these things and we’ll let you down easy? Who are you, and what do you want from us?! I kid, I kid... but perhaps you are watching too many horror movies, and now they’re messing you up. I know that was the case for me when I saw The Ring for the first time... I simply couldn’t trust little girls with long hair for the longest time out of utter panic. I do have some sugar, if you need it, though. Feel free to stop by if you’re missing anything, I’ve got way too much stuff— half of it only speak to my hoarding tendencies, but we could also take a trip to the supermarket if you’re down! 

[jennlaws]

hastyles​:

Oh god, no. They’re considered pets and also part of the family. So they won’t becoming dinner, don’t worry. I haven’t named them yet, but I am taking suggestions for names! I already have more eggs than I know what to do with. I’ve been giving some away to friends and neighbors. So if you’re ever in need of some fresh eggs, you know where to find me. 

And here I thought we’d have so a big feast for everyone at Bayview with your brand new chickens, man... consider me only slightly disappointed. I guess there’s always KFC for us, right? Whoever becomes desperate for some chicken, we know where to go. You can never have too many eggs, so I’ll take as many as I can get! Instead of cooked chicken, we should get to work as soon as possible and plan an omelette breakfast party or something, don’t you think? We can make it happen, and I can get to work if you’re too busy.

[jennlaws]

margotinbview​:

Do you not have any secret accounts like everybody else seems to have? I should have guessed I’d be the type to rage quit and regret it from the amount of people I’ve rage blocked and then unblocked an hour later but yet here we are. Turning the comments off is genius and I’m a little annoyed I didn’t think of that myself. Though, sometimes reading the comments from the douche lords can be quite entertaining, so I guess there really is no pleasing me. Oh yeah, it’s great for creeping my brother and then watching him lie when I ask him why he hasn’t Facetimed me back all week. It’s a little hurtful my family actively avoid me but I’ll get my revenge.

Okay, fine... since we’re spilling secrets here, I do have a secret account for my highly intoxicated alter ego named Gail, but I have to tell you, I have a random Google Images photo of a sloth for a profile picture, and I only follow like two or three people, just to be safe. I rtold myself I’d use it to stay up to date with drama, but I rarely open the Instagram app anyway, so I feel like that’s been a huge fail on my part. Just another reason why social media isn’t for me... I completely forget about it sometimes. Do you go to your old exes’ accounts and stalk the crap out of them just to see what they’re up to these days? I feel like that’s a great opportunity right there, just don’t tell anyone I’m corrupting you this way.

[jennlaws]

emilyxvancamp​:

Thankfully I will be able to make up for it at Thanksgiving in October so I am not going to have live under a rock for long, knock on wood.  Would ordering pepperoni pizza work for making you dinner?  I ask cause not all of my kitchen gadgets are unpacked as of yet.  Do you think anyone took video of it?  It might be fun to watch and see people’s reaction from people who were witness to the singing.  Oh gosh, I have a feeling it was quickly replaced.  Thank you!  You are sweet, I am still quite close to a lot of the stars.  We actually did a fundraiser a couple months ago for St. Jude that was fun.  So far so good, no real complaints yet.  How are you, Miss Lawrence?  

Miss Lawrence? That’s my mother, please feel free to call me anything but that! Jen is good, it makes it sound like I’m younger than I actually am, so there’s that. But I’ve been wonderful, thank you! I stuffed my face with far too much ice cream this afternoon and now I feel like I can’t quite tell where I’m standing, I feel so disoriented, my God. About the video... I’m pretty sure there’s video of me showing off my pipes somewhere, I just hope it never becomes public unless we’re all collectively drunk, because it’s way more fun and it’s easier to forget that way. Not to put on my Howard Stern hat on, but how do you feel about how the show ended? Were you happy with Emily slash Amanda’s destiny? I was shamelessly rooting for her and Nolan to have a thing at the end, but womp, womp.

[jenniferlawrencesource]

Jennifer attends the ‘Red Sparrow’ premiere in London on February 19th, 2018.

[jennlaws]

townofrenaux​:

Hey, people! After many pleads and texts from my cast members, I decided to join  — kidding, they only wanted Kit Young, but whatever, here I am. My name is Archie, and I’m twenty-three years old. BBC One lovers might know me from Gold Diggers, but I also play Mal in Shadow and Bone. I know most of us don’t really know each other, but hey, who says we can’t get to know each other? Tell me your most embarrassing story… Okay, kidding, that’s maybe too much, but how about your favourite song, and is there a meaning behind it? I’ll start with saying my favourite song is Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. There are so many songs from Tracy that I listen to daily; Baby Can I Hold You, Talkin’ ‘bout a Revolution, and Give Me One Reason. She’s wonderful. There’s not really a meaning behind it, for me, the vibes just right. @townofbayview​

What makes you think I’m gonna go all out telling you my most embarrassing story? Insane, you’re out of your damn mind... anyway, I once very adamantly referred to this barista as Eizabeth Taylor because I was so drunk that I genuinely thought it was her, until my friend told me ‘Hey, Jen... Elizabeth Taylor is dead’. right after I had praised her for all her movies and all her work... to her face. I kid you not, I wanted to be swallowed by a bottomless pit on the ground at that exact moment. Now that I’ve opened my heart to you, it’s your turn. Those are all great songs, you’ve got some taste... I like that. Welcome, Archie from Gold Diggers. I’ve never seen that, admittedly, but it’s great to have you here.

[jennlaws]

emmastnc​:

@jennlaws​

So on this 4th of July, what do I have to do to get a hold of you? I saw some pictures for Don’t Look Up, I’m so excited, when do I get to see it? I’m really needy and you have to spend more time with me. What’s the point of you being here if we don’t see each other every other day?

... I can explain. Turns out I ended up sleeping in until three in the afternoon, but I also have to admit I forgot to set my alarm for at least 10 am. I went full grandma on the 4th and skipped the whole thing, just kinda stared into the void with a good pair of earplugs because you already know how much I hate fireworks— poor Pippi was losing his mind. We should hang out now that there’s nothing on the books for a few days! I was thinking of going on a hike this weekend, you up for it, love of my life?

[jennlaws]

heyitsmisha​:

A 3 PM start time isn’t too bad. Besides, it’s a holiday! If you wanna stay in bed, I say go for it. Besides, from what I’ve been seeing and hearing, it sounds like the festivities are going on late into the night - and the night is still very young! It was actually totally unplanned, if you can believe it. And trust me - the bags? Out of sight, out of mind. I’m ready to meet the nice folks of Bayview and maybe even enjoy a few drinks. Anyway, sorry for rambling! I’m Misha. It’s great to meet you

I suppose 3pm isn’t that bad... but don’t let my agent or my whole team hear this because they’ll start making a whole weekly schedule for me, as soon as possible. What can I say, I’ve been working out super hard the past couple of weeks, my body cannot take it anymore and it’s aching for a soft surface to lay on. I neglected my bags for like a month, and I felt bad about it for the first week but then I honestly couldn’t care less. Pleasure’s all mine, friend! I’m Jennifer, but please call me Jen— Jennifer’s way too formal for me, and it makes me cringe. Did you get a chance to explore yet?

[jennlaws]

sxgomez​:

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m perfectly content staying on the beach forever. I decided to be a little bit adventurous and take advantage of the summer season, so I camped out in a tent on the beach last night. It was perfect because I slept in my bathing suit, so I could take a quick swim as soon as I woke up. As you can tell, I’m living my best life out here. Anyone that would like to join me, please feel free to. I’d love all the company! @townofbayview​

You know, time flies the older you get... so you’re one hundred percent right, you better enjoy the sun and the beach before we fly into fall and winter, where the temperatures are not gonna be too nice to us. Does camping on the beach get creepy in the middle of the night? I’ve never done it before, but something tells me it could get... bizarre out there— don’t ask me why I think that, the thought just kinda crossed my mind, weirdly enough. I’ll love to join you, if you promise to head back so I can sleep on my own cozy bed with my own cozy blankets, deal? 

[jennlaws]

heyitsmisha​:

I started getting ready for 4th of July festivities and then I had this astounding revelation: I have no idea where the heck I’m going or what I’m doing. What’s going on out there, Bayview? @townofbayview​

Well, that’d make two of us! I woke up at an absurd time of day— around 2 p.m to be exact, then it took me like an extra hour to actually get out of bed, and I’m already hearing all the fireworks by the pier. Interesting choice of day for getting here, Mr. How come you decided to step foot in a brand new town on the Fourth of July? Sounds like you should head out and party, worry about the bags later!

[jennlaws]

emilyxvancamp​:

I know I should be a better Canadian and be celebrating the nations birth tomorrow in Canada, but I spent a little too much time in Canada even for me before coming to this wonderful place called Bayview!  I promise I will be listening to a ton of Barenaked Ladies, Shania Twain, and other great musicians from my home province of Ontario tomorrow though!   With that being said what kind of music do you need to have to play that makes you feel like you are back home with family and friends?  I am Emily by the way, it is nice to be here, how are you?  

@townofbayview​

Do you get to make up for your absence somehow? You should make some poutine for the whole town, and I’ll personally ensure you get a whole bunch of drinks in return. With that being said, if making food for everyone sounds like a lot of work, maybe just make me some food and I won’t tell anyone; your secret would be safe with me, wink wink. God, I once karaoke’d You’re Still The One by Shania with a margarita in my hand, and I guess I took my acting abilities a bit too seriously that night because I spilled it everywhere. I’d never felt so disappointed in myself for wasting a margarita like that, but it was a fun time nonetheless. Also, can I just say Revenge was one of the best TV Shows in recent history? ‘Cause it was! Awesome to have you around, how are you settling in?

[jennlaws]

bayviewgosling​:

New Orleans is a fun place so it must not have been too bad right? Reshootings can be a pain but how much did you have to do? They showed Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I’ve seen it before but my youngest hadn’t so it was fun. Some of the humor they don’t understand yet but they liked seeing the chocolate. Starburst is an excellent choice. I feel at home so far! How long were you there for? It’s great to see you.

The best thing about New Orleans has got to be the food, hands down. We ended up going to dinner almost every single night because we couldn’t get enough of this restaurant in downtown, so now you can imagine I’m going insane at the gym. Willy Wonka, oh wow, what a classic! I remember getting creeped out by the whole premise, but at the same time you just wanna eat all the chocolate from the walls and whatever. I was there for about three weeks, but now I’m back here, getting ready for the Fourth of July celebrations. You gonna join us, even if you’re Canadian? You should.

[jennlaws]

reinlili​:

I think that break ups aren’t exactly fun for everyone. I think we all sort of just cope with them in our own way. You have to have the freedom to do whatever is going to allow you to heal.  The big thing is that you get through, however you can.  I’m definitely not one for regretting I went, especially when it comes to Italy.   I’m definitely not one of those woe is me sort of girls who needs everyone else to manage their lives. I mean, yeah, we all get sad and disappointed at times and I’m not immune to that. I think that sometimes you just have to rise to the occasion though and make lemons out of lemonade.  I’m sure that those times were still nice even if you didn’t get the opportunity to explore like you want. Hopefully you get the opportunity you want to just be off exploring it all. It’s well worth the time.  I’ve honestly been a lot of places that I never imagined I’d get to go that I wanted to go.  I would like to see the Czech Republic though or maybe Turkey.   Yes, there is definitely always good things when you pay attention!

My first ever real, gut-wrenching breakup went as you’d expect... I didn’t leave my room for like a week, I was grumpy with my parents because ‘they didn’t understand’, and I’d lost all faith in love as quick as you can blink, but granted, I was like fourteen or fifteen. As you say, we gotta allow ourselves to feel things and deal with heartbreak in our own way, even if that includes stuffing our faces with full tubs of ice cream and thelike. Czech Republic? I don’t usually hear that one! Sounds like one heck of a unique experience, and I’m sure it’s as wonderful as it looks on pictures, hopefully you’ll get to go one day and then tell me all about it, so I can marvel at your dreams coming true. I’ve always wanted to go to Hobbinton in New Zealand— ever heard of it? The nerd in me would pee her pants right on sight.

[jennlaws]

margotinbview​:

You know when you have a crazy moment and declare publicly you’re going to do something but then regret it and can’t go back on it because you made a big deal of it? Yeah, I did that. I quit social media but made an announcement that I was quitting and now I’m sitting here with my secret, fake Instagram account just stalking my family, hoping they don’t realize it’s me because I don’t want to wound my pride and go back on my word. Can I claim I was hacked and I never actually quit? I lasted like two days before I just had to know what everyone was doing though, do I at least get points for that? Moral of the story…..don’t start talking bad about me online because you think I can’t see it anymore. I’m weak and always watching, just under the new Instagram name of Joan.

This is why I never went with the social media route, because I knew one day I’ll end up rage-quitting over something dumb or whatever, and then people would start questioning every little thing. If I were you, I wouldn’t say I got hacked— I’d just lay down the bitter truth and be like ‘I was exhausted, needed a break!’ and deactivate comments. With that being said... I know not everyone’s a little bitch online, it’s just a very small group of people who pride themselves in being insufferable, but it’s still a headache I personally don’t wanna deal with. I do kinda feel you’ve got an advantage having a super secret account, though... you might be onto something. Nobody knows it’s actually you, but you know everything that’s going on; and if someone ends up asking ‘Hey, Margot! How do you know all this?!’ you can just wink. You’ve got the upper hand here, love that for you.