requested ~ sorta @nakamotocore
synopsis ~ you knew he was horrible to you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave
warnings ~ toxic relationship, taeyong is an asshole like frfr, verbal and psychological abuse, gaslighting, cursing, yelling
note ~ don’t let anyone treat you like this!! it’s not healthy and this is not a real representation of taeyong or any other characters written
playlist ~ teeth-5sos, girls-nature, stockholm syndrome-one direction, range rover-porches
another day, another bout of yelling from him. who knew what it was about this time. his members didn’t dare to intervene, afraid the man would start his verbal assault on them. his words were harsh, tearing down your every insecurity as if it were a paper-thin wall. the dorm rarely heard silence when you came to see taeyong. you’d always sit there and take it, barely a word uttered from your lips.
“why are you so stupid? you sit there and let him flirt with you, y/n! when i’m right there beside you, is what’s even worse! do you want me to yell at you?” a slight shake of your head, a grumbled “no.” taeyong’s yelling had numbed you, the feeling of sadness left you long ago, now replaced by remorse. he huffs at you and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. you sigh and slowly get up after him, the weight of an unresolved fight too heavy for your heart. you find not taeyong but johnny, his look of fear and then pity for you the first thing you notice. you don’t give him the chance to speak, waving him off before continuing to the dorm’s kitchen. taeyong was in there, peeling an orange aggressively. the citrus scent reminded you of the early days of your relationship.
taeyong was sweet, and always showered you with compliments. his soft eyes the thing that drew you to him. but things changed, he began to get jealous of your friends, suspicious of your whereabouts all the time, and that turned into him forcing you to cut them off and tell him your location whenever you went somewhere. he always drew you back in with honey kisses and sugary cuddles, the red flags flying high over your head.
“yong?” he spares a quick glance to you before going back to the orange. tears brimmed your eyes, his lack of response breaking you. “please, yongie. i didn’t mean to make you mad. i’m sorry for being stupid, i don’t like it when you’re upset with me.” the tears were pouring at this point, and taeyong noticed. he sighs and comes over to hug you. his fingers ghost their way up and down your back, a soothing reminder that he loved you. “i’m sorry for getting mad, but you know i don’t like people flirting with you. it hurts me to think you might not like me anymore. i don’t like it when you upset me either, but you’re forgiven.” you nod against his chest, sobs muffled by the fabric of his shirt. a heavy sigh made its way out of his mouth, causing you to collect yourself quickly. he gives you a sweet kiss, looking into your eyes intently with a pout on his face. “stop being sad, it looks ugly on you.” you take his comment as lightly as you can, the microaggression rubbing you raw.
it was always like this, he’d yell until you cried, and then a false sense of security would be placed on you like a bandaid. the cycle repeated over and over, your energy being taken along with you. a former shell of the bubbly person you were, sucked out by the man you called your lover.
even the members noticed the change in their leader’s personality. he was alway snappy with them, getting pissed at the smallest mistakes. it was taking a toll on everyone’s mental state, and the members were getting tired of it.
“i just think you should take a step back and analyze how you could be better to yourself and her. this yelling that you do is unnecessary, it bothers all of us.” taeyong doesn’t really take it to heart, but he agrees to try and be better. johnny pats his shoulder before leaving the room. you lingered around the dorm, trying to stay on your best behavior as to not upset taeyong again. the living room is quiet, and the only person in there is doyoung. you decide to sit next to him, getting comfortable in his presence. you two make small talk, mostly about your day and what weather you’d like to see in the upcoming week. doyoung was usually the first person to comfort you after taeyong would get upset with you, so you were used to hugging him and being close to him. taeyong would always tell you to stop when he saw you doing that, but your intentions were never anything other than being a friend to doyoung, and you always said that. but taeyong would never hear any of it, always yelling at you about it.
when taeyong walks in the room to see you cuddled up to doyoung, he spares no time to start screaming. doyoung can’t even speak over him, frozen in place from fear. taeyong grabs you and drags you up from the couch, leaving the room. “what do you think you’re doing? how many fucking times do i have to tell you to stop cuddling up to my members!? i bet you like the attention they give you, huh? you like being a fucking whore!?” you whimper at him, unable to respond. “taeyong, please. it wasn’t like that and you know it.” he lets out a sigh of anger, turning you to him harshly. “you know i love you, right? and i’d never hurt you, but you always do shit like this. you make me feel like i’m not enough when you get close to my members.” the tears start to pour from his face, and you know they’re crocodile tears, but it breaks your already fragile heart to see him like this.
“taeyong, stop, i’m sorry. you know i don’t like seeing you sad like this. please, believe me, i only love you.” he doesn’t stop crying but nods at you regardless. you reach up and wipe his tears away, trying to make the situation better. “taeyong, you have to realize that i don’t want anyone other than you. i want to be close with your members as friends not anything else.” he nods and pulls you in for a hug, squeezing almost deathly tight, as if he’d actually lose you. “please never leave me. don’t leave me. ever.” you hum in response, knowing that no matter how hard you tried, and how much you knew he was toxic, that you couldn’t leave.
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