I’ve decided to post the gifs (of various sizes) that I’ve been collecting onto my blog for safe keeping. I didn’t make most of these, I only resized them for roleplaying purposes. So all rights go to the original creators. Click the links to be taken to the gifs:
❝[Jeremiah]’s much more calculating. Jerome was extremely brash and violent. Jerome was a chain saw; Jeremiah is a scalpel. And he’s going after not only the city, but also Gordon and Bruce. Jeremiah wants to hit them where it really hurts.❞
Your name hurts (Your name hurts)
I don't say it no more
It's like the worst of words (Worst of words)
You don't even know (Ah)
Feels like burning on my lips
The ones that you used to kiss
No way you ain't feelin' it too
I hope my name hurts, my name hurts
My name hurts you (You, you, you)
Summary: Jeremiah kidnaps Dick and forces him to relive his childhood trauma.
Trigger warnings: Death, Trauma, Abuse, Dark Themes, Violence
Written With: @flyingboywonder
Jeremiah
It was perfect. Just how he pictured it to look. How he remembered it to look. "When you're awake, you're going to love this!" Glancing up to the stands where he had Dick placed in the audience. (The Audience consisting solely of the members of his Church. All in everyday attire.) He said busting into uncontrollable giggles. He placed his hand on his chest. His gloved hand over his red ringleader's coat. An exact replica of the one Haly used to sport years ago. "Dick! Common, Dick, wake up!" He called from where he stood. "We're getting off schedule." He mumbled before walking into the audience and scooting past a few of his people so that he could sit in the empty spot next to his best friend. Reaching over, he jostled him a bit. Trying to wake him. Leaning close and whispering in his ear. "It's the most important day of your life and the drugs should be wearing off... you should probably wake up. And... pay attention to me..." His last few words were very breathy and he reached a hand up to brush the hair from Dick's face.
Dick
He could feel warm breath against his ear, could make out the words Jeremiah was saying. He vaguely remembered them hanging out together, having a couple of drinks, watching TV. And then... It was a blur. His eyes slowly opened, trying to adjust and focus on what was around him. "J-Jeremiah?" His voice was croaky, and his head felt a little dizzy. "What's going on?" he asked, head turning to look at the other man. There was a glint of excitement in his eyes, then Dick looked towards the stage. Haley's? That wasn't possible. The circus had been gone for years. Was this a dream? He'd dreamt of his childhood hundreds of times -- dreamt of the night he'd lost his parents. Watching them fall over and over again, unable to catch them, or tell them what was going to happen. "Am I dreaming?"
Jeremiah
"Ah! There you are." He said with a smile, clearly proud of himself. "For a moment I was scared I may have used a little too much. Do you feel alright?" He asked, placing a hand on his forehead to check his temperature before pulling back and swiping the air. "You're fine." A large and manic grin stretching across his white face. Twitching a bit like it might have been too big of a smile for himself to even handle. He checked the watch on his hand quickly before letting out a gentle huff. "We have time... I suppose. You see, Dickie. Ever since that day we got to talkin' about your parents I realized something. See I wasn't there. That's why you don't feel about me the way I feel about you. I couldn't be there for you... I couldn't hold your hand or tell you that it'll all be alright on the most important day of your life." He reached forwards and grabbed Dick's hand between his own. Silvery eyes widening. "But I can be now. I just... I want to be connected to you."
Dick
Used a little too much? Jeremiah had drugged him. Something that was very much not okay with Dick. "What do you mean, do I feel alright? I just found out someone I considered a friend slipped me something. What do you think?" Listening to the other speak, it was obvious that there was something very wrong with him. He wasn't the same person that he'd once known at the circus. "Most important day of my life? It was the worst day of my life. Why would you want to connect to me through that?" He tried to pull his hand away from Jeremiah, but he was still a bit weak from whatever he'd drugged him with. "There's other ways to connect to me than kidnapping me and bringing me to a place that haunts me."
Jeremiah
He pouted when Dick started to talk back to him. "Best Friend. Don't be inconsiderate, Dick. How else was it meant to be a surprise if I didn't knock you out... besides... it shouldn't give you any long lasting effects. That I know of." He said, unable to prevent a sick chuckle from escaping. "Why?" He asked taking a hand back and placing it on his chin in thought. "Well, Dick. You see... I thought of it... Over and over and I realized that Anthony Zucco held a more important place in your heart than me." He said, pressing his hand against Dick's chest and looking into his eyes as though he was pleading with him. Trying to get him to understand. "As well as your super powered friends. Zatanna... Wally... They're all so much more important to you. I want to be important to you! Me!" He raised his voice, gripping the fabric of Dick's shirt. His lip quivering. "If you can't love me, then we can be bonded in other ways. I'll be important to you once the night is over... You'll see... I won't be so insignificant to you anymore."
Dick
Best friend? Was that what this was all about? Now Dick was starting to understand how Bruce felt when it came to Joker. "You could've just blindfolded me and said you had a surprise. There are other ways to do things. Drugging people without their consent should never be an option, Jeremiah." The mention of Zucco made his blood boil in his veins. How dare Jeremiah bring him up. "Don't say his name," he hissed, trying to get up from his seat. He knew that he was feeling a little groggy, but he couldn't move. Looking down, he noticed that he'd been bound to the chair. "You could've been important to me! I cared about you!" he yelled, fidgeting in his seat, trying to get free. "You want me to love you? You drugged me and tied me to a chair, built a whole replica of Haley's! You want me to relive the worst night of my life!" Panic was rising in his chest, his heart pounding and his breaths becoming ragged. "Let me go, Jeremiah! I want to go home!"
Jeremiah
"But then there's the complications that come with the blindfold. What if you peaked, then the surprise would have been-" He whistled and gestured like he was throwing something into a hoop. "Out the window." He said, pulling his hands back into another shrug. Dick's reaction to Zucco's name made Jeremiah shift back from him like he was scared he might bite him before his lips twisted again into a smile. He shook his head like he was shaking them of silly thoughts. "See, that's how you should react if someone's important to you!" He said. As if this proved any point. In his delusional mind, everything that he was doing and saying made perfect sense. "Don't pretend I ever could have been more then the childhood friend you've pitied all our lives." He said giving him a frown, "There would have always been someone above me if I didn't do something grand." He told him, raising his voice as though he was speaking to an audience. All at once, his cult turned to look at them as if they recognized his commanding tone. "Anyway, show must go on and all that." He said waving his hand around and getting up. "Sit tight, Dickie! I have to play understudy for the ringleader." He said, scooting his way out of the audience seat and sauntering down the stairs and to the stage.
Dick
"It's not because he's important to me! It's because he killed my parents!" He tried his hardest to understand what was going through Jeremiah's mind right now -- what would lead him to do a thing like this. Dick thought that he knew his old friend, but clearly he'd been hiding a dark secret from him. "I don't pity, Jeremiah. Or at least I didn't, until now. I thought you were a friend. The one last connection I had to the good part of my past, but you've ruined it. It's tainted now." He was right. There would always be someone above him. His daughter for one, and his girlfriend too. Wanting to be the centre of Dick's attention was a crazy desire. "The show doesn't have to go on! You could just let me go home to my kid, to my... To my Zee." He was practically pleading now, his eyes filling up with tears. Tears of both of anger and fear. "No!" he yelled, watching the crazed clown walking to the stage. "I don't wanna do this, Jeremiah! Please! If you care about me, you won't make me do this!" Dick fought against the restraints, but it was no use. Maybe if he closed his eyes... Yeah, that's what he'd do. He squeezed them shut tight, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to calm himself. "Do it for Mar'i. Get through this for Mar'i," he whispered to himself. "Do it for Zee. For the Titans... For your family." You can do this, Dick. Bruce's voice rang clear in his head, and he focused on it. "I can do this," he breathed. "I have to."
Jeremiah
His eyes darkened for a moment, "Since he killed your parents, he's important to you. Can't you see it's one in the same? Jerome killed my parents and voila! He'll always have a place in my heart." Though he wasn't sure if it was fair to use his twin as an example. It didn't matter. Dick and himself were the same. Both orphans who came from the same place and rose to where they were today. Successful. The only difference being: Jeremiah didn't have what Dick had. Important people in his life. All he had was Dick and he had to share him. How was that fair? "Your Zee?" He half turned on his walk down and his teeth grit together hard, the next words were spoken through them. "This is why I have to do this. You've always put her in front of our relationship." He turned back and stepped onto the stage, turning in a dramatic fashion on the stage and tipping his hat. Dick should be happy that this was all he was doing. Out of respect for him... he wasn't eliminating the competition. And, oh. How he thought of it before. How he'd do it... Instead of killing them all while the spell took place he was putting on a show for his ungrateful best friend. "Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and girls! Children of all ages! Welcome to the circus! Hear the music! Laugh at the clowns! And be thrilled by the daring feats of our Acrobats!" The audience irrupted into cheers and he looked up with a smile on his face. Finally catching Dick. Who's eyes were closed. "DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! You'll miss out on the big surprise!" He made a gesture and one of his cult members moved next to Dick and pried his eyes open for him. "Let's give a warm welcome to THE FLYING GRAYSONS!"
Dick
He felt sick to his stomach. The way Jeremiah was talking was enough to make him want to throw up his breakfast. "It's not the same. Your brother is a psychopath, and I'm starting to think that you are, too. Maybe it's a twin thing," Dick hissed. He wasn't helping his case by upsetting his old friend, but he didn't care. They were truths that he needed to hear. If he realised just how alike he and Jerome were, perhaps it'd be enough to make him stop this insanity. "She's my girlfriend. I don't know what you expect from me. Normal friendships aren't like this, Valeska... Are you in love with me? Is that what this is about? We can talk through it if you are, you don't have to go this far." His words were falling on deaf ears. It was clear that Jeremiah had a plan and he was going to see it through, no matter how much Dick tried to put a stop to it. Hearing the other man starting to shout like he was the star of the show, he shook his head, desperately trying to ignore it. Suddenly, though, his eyes were being pried open, forcing him to look at the stage. "No, no, no. Please, let me go," he begged. He'd never sounded more broken. A man and a woman walked onto the stage, and his heart sank. "Momma?" She looked exactly like her, and the guy looked exactly like his father. It wasn't them. It couldn't be. "STOP!" He threw himself as far forward as he could, but the hands on his face pulled him back. Dick was starting to lose control, tears streaming down his face, his body writhing as much as the restraints would allow. "I'm going to kill you, Jeremiah!" he screamed. "You're gonna die, just like Zucco!"
Jeremiah
He tried to continue the show and ignore the screaming of his best friend as he sat in the audience but when Dick asked if he was in love with him, he felt himself freeze and tense up. Trying to swallow the lump in his throat that was choking him. "You kn- you know..." He stammered, losing his cool for a moment. He wasn't in love with Dick. No. They were just best friends. At least he thought they were, right now Dick was acting like they weren't and he had to push through it, knowing that the connection they would have after this would be stronger then what they currently had. Dick would think of him all the time because he'd think of this night. He'd always be a thought, lingering in his mind. He pushed though the brief moment and wiped a bead of sweat from his face. "And introducing! The youngest Acrobat we have! Dick Grrrrayson!" He announced getting back into character. Gesturing to the young boy who just walked on stage, he couldn't have been more then 9 years old. Meanwhile, the real Dick Grayson was screaming from the audience that he was going to kill him. "I like the passion, bestie! But how about we cheer for this little guy here instead of making promises you can't keep! Poor thing's gonna need it!" He said as the family behind him started getting to their places. He had them put under a spell from Zatanna's book. Forced to follow his every command.
Dick
Jeremiah's answer didn't satisfy him. But he knew better than to push it. Everyone around him had been telling him that Jeremiah had a crush on him for months, but he refused to listen, and now he was the subject of all his attention. Hearing himself being introduced, he focused on the little boy on stage. Curly black hair, bright blue eyes, and a wide smile. Was this innocent little kid going to die because of him? "Let the kid go! He hasn't done anything wrong. Let them all go!" His eyes were stinging, and he was so, so angry. But beyond the anger, there was terror and sheer panic. His chest was heaving, and he gritted his teeth. He wished that he could get free, that he could get onto the stage and warn these people. Dick wanted to save them because he couldn't save his parents. He didn't get to warn them on time about Zucco's plan, and because of him, they were dead. And now these people were going to die, too. "You need to get out of here! He's sending you to your deaths!" They didn't move, and Dick let out a scream of frustration. Knowing how this was going to go made his whole body shake, his hands unable to fiddle with the binds keeping him down. The more he tried to squeeze his eyes shut, the rougher the henchmen were with him. There was no way out of this. Nobody to help him. Hadn't anyone noticed he was gone yet? He sank back in his seat, exhausted from fighting, and from the drugs. "Just... Don't make me watch this. I... I can't."
Jeremiah
Jeremiah turned to watch the family go to their spots before Dick caught his attention again. He was still fighting this? Still screaming at him like he hadn't already made up his mind. He had been working on this for months. Transforming Amusement Mile into a replica of Haly's. Finding performers that met the builds and appearances of his parents. Casting the perfect kid to play Dick... and even rebuilding his Church so they would have an audience. He did all this work and Dick thought he was not going to go through with it? His eyes narrowed. No, that would be a waste of money and a waste of months of work. "They can't hear you, Dick!" He called up to him. "They're under a spell-" He sighed dramatically and shook his head before coming back into the audience. The Ringleader didn't need to be there for the rest of this anyway. He gestured for his cultie to get out of his spot before reclaiming it. Taking a seat besides Dick. Watching as he started to give up. "Shush," He said softly. "It'll be alright. You survived this the first place and you can do it again. You're amazing." He offered his comfort, placing a hand on Dick's leg. "We'll finish this together... and then once it's all done... every time you think of them... you'll think of me."
Dick
Under a spell? Where had he even found magic? Dick knew that Zatanna would never help him with something like this. Any sane person wouldn't. "Even if they can't hear me, I still had to try," he muttered to himself. His shoulders tensed when he saw Jeremiah leaving the stage, coming back towards their seats. "I only survived because of Jim and Bruce. Without them, I wouldn't be here." His stomach was churning. Bile was burning the back of his throat. "Connecting you to this isn't a good thing." His voice was void from emotion now, and he didn't even bother to move his leg when he felt a hand rest on his upper thigh. He didn't want to be touched, but Jeremiah wasn't listening to anything he was saying, so what was the point in fighting it? "My parents dying broke my heart. I tried to bury the pain for years. You're bringing it back to the surface. I won't be me after this." It was his last hope at getting Jeremiah to change his mind. "You love me as I am. Want to be the best friend of this version of me. You're about to ruin who I am, all because you want to be important to me. But you won't be, because you'll have killed this Dick Grayson."
Jeremiah
"Jim and Bruce were very kind to you. Jim said something to you right after. What was it...? There will be light?" He replied, looking up at the performance they were starting it now while the little boy stood and watched. Not in on the action. He wasn't trained like the performers and Jeremiah didn't want that ruining the bit so Little Dick was instructed to just watch and to scream if his "parents" were to fall. "I'm prepared to fill both roles for you, so don't worry about that. I'll make sure it's exactly as it should be. I'll be there for you..." He said. "That's all I want. To be there. I'm so uninvolved. So forgotten about that I have to insert myself more into the story... you understand." He said, like it made sense. He leaned back in the chair, listening to Dick talk. He frowned. Feeling a small sense like he might be doing the wrong thing here, he shook his head. Bringing his hands up to hair. "No, no, it's fine. It's fine." He said, "It's all going to go according to plan." He said to himself, a manic edge to his tone. He shook himself out, trying to get rid of the doubt. "I'll love you in anyway that you are." He corrected him after a long moment. "It's you who doesn't care about me. You won't die. They will," He gestured up to the performers. "But you won't."
Dick
How did Jeremiah know what Jim had said to him. Did he know every little detail of his life somehow? "How do you know that?" Dick asked, needing to know who was giving out such private information. "You can't just replace Bruce and Jim. You can't be a father figure to me." He was so confused, so utterly overwhelmed by everything that was going on around him. Jeremiah confirmed that the people on stage were going to die, and Dick thrashed around to get out of his binds once more. Luckily, all his fidgeting had paid off and they came loose. "Not if I can help it," he growled, pulling the ropes off. The first thing he did was make a fist, then punched his old friend in the jaw. "You're sick, Jeremiah. As soon as I'm done saving those people, I'm putting you somewhere secure. You're never going to hurt anyone again," he told him, jumping over the seats and running towards the stage. "Stop!" he yelled at the people. "I'm coming to help! Don't climb up there! Jeremiah, stop the spell!"
Jeremiah
He smiled pridefully when Dick asked how he knew that, "I did my research." He quipped. Deciding to keep his tactics to himself, after all, Dick didn't need to know everything. All he needed to know was how far he'd go for him. "I was my own father figure, why can't I be yours too? I could offer you advice or play catch with you in the yard." He said with a chuckle. "Listen, Dick. I'm only doing this because I love you. You're all I have... and I don't like sharing." He admitted looking towards the stage and eyeing the performers. They were good but they weren't the Graysons. They didn't have the grace that Dick's parents had. He remembered watching them with Dick, sorta like what they were doing now. Only, Dick loved him then. They were all they had and he hadn't been replaced yet. His heart yearned for that feeling again. "Mhm?" He said, a bit confused. When he turned his head to look at Dick, he was greeted with a fist to the jaw. His head shot back with the force of it and when he looked up, Dick was leaping over the seat. Swiftly, he took out his gun and aimed it at his friend. Finger lingering over the trigger, trembling... but he couldn't do it. Instead he tossed it aside and ran after Dick. Was he ever fast... "Dick, wait! I can't stop it! What do I look like, your girlfriend??" He shouted back at him, Dick was already climbing up the ladder to get to the trapeze artists. He followed suit, quickly enough that he was able to grab his ankle. "Come down, you're going to get yourself killed. There's no saving them!"
Dick
Had Jeremiah gotten into his files? He'd made sure to have them triple secured so that villains couldn't get any private details. Maybe he'd forced someone to talk. It wouldn't be hard for a guy like him. He was smart and had a lot of connections. Maybe it was Jerome. He was close to Zatanna, and he knew that she trusted him. Paranoia was starting to cloud his judgement. Dick needed to shake it off and think clearly, but that was hard to do when you were being forced to relive the worst moment of your life with someone you believed was a trusted friend. "Everybody has to share the people they love. If you don't, that makes you a toxic and controlling person. I won't be controlled. Not by you, not by anyone." As soon as Jeremiah's head shot backwards, Dick felt a little bit of regret. Resorting to violence with sick people wasn't something he was fond of. But there wasn't any other choice right now. It was punch him or sit idly by while people got hurt. "What do you mean you can't stop it?! You started it! You have to know how to undo it!" As he climbed the ladder to reach his fake parents, he felt Jeremiah's hand wrap around his ankle. "Let go!" he yelled, looking down at him. "I'd rather die a hero than sit and do nothing. I don't give up. You should know that about me." With a frown, he kicked Jeremiah hard in the face, scrambling up the ladder when he felt his grip loosen around his ankle.
Jeremiah
He didn't see it that way. That it would be controlling. He thought, if anything it would be the two of them against the world but perhaps Dick would understand some day. After all of this was over and done with, after he got his audience to leave so the two of them could be alone. Then he could comfort him like he would have wanted to the day this really did happen. Instead of having to stay home ant get beaten for something he really didn't remember if he even did. His past was foggy to him, but it didn't matter where he was. The point was that he wasn't there when Dick needed him and now he was. "My magic guy's a little busy!" He replied. Not elaborating. Dick wouldn't like what he did to the city. To his friends. Dick told him to let go and he clung tighter to him. "Oh I do. I know you! As you should know I wouldn't give up on you! I need you to tell me something; Can't you feel it, yet?!" He screamed up to him. "The connection between us? Can't you? Please, tell me you--" He was cut off when Dick kicked him hard in the face and he couldn't help but let out a yelp in pain. For a moment he was seeing stars and he had to let go of Dick and focus on hanging onto the ladder as it swayed a bit form the force of the hit. Blood ran down his face like a faucet from his nose as he came to. Dripping onto the ladder. He glanced back up and watched as Dick hustled upwards. Quickly pulling himself after him, they were nearing the top when his foot couldn't get a grip. Slipping on the blood from before. "Dick!" He shouted after him. But the rope that held the False Graysons began to tare too...
Dick
He didn't know what the other man meant by 'a little busy', but he had a feeling that it wasn't by any means anything good. Jeremiah asked him if he could feel it, and Dick didn't know how to respond, on account of not knowing what it was. "All I feel is anxiety and anger. I should be with my family and friends, celebrating my birthday, but you're putting me through this!" As he reached the top of the platform, he tried to reach out to grab the hand of the woman. But it was too late, she'd jumped. He looked up at the rope, wondering how long he had. Hearing his name being called, he turned to see Jeremiah holding onto the ladder by one hand. Dick had to make a choice, and his rage was affecting his judgement. He took one last look at his childhood friend before dashing forward, just in time to watch the performers fall to their deaths. "No!" he screamed, grabbing a rope hanging from the ceiling. It wasn't very long, but he didn't need it to be. He swung off the ledge, then let go, gliding through the air with the greatest of ease, putting his tumbling skills to good use before he reached the ground. Dick landed a little off balance, but that wasn't surprising with everything he'd been through that night. He avoided looking toward where Jeremiah would've fallen, focusing on the bodies of the man and woman instead. Clutching his stomach, he doubled over and vomited. It must've been the shock, and the fear. There was so much blood. After using a shaky hand to check their pulses, he let out an anguished cry. "I'm sorry," he choked out, getting up from the ground and ignoring the pain in his ankle. Suddenly, he remembered the little kid, and spotted him on the other side of the stage, staring blankly at him. "Kid... It's gonna be okay, don't look at them," he told him, making his way over. "I'm Dick Grayson, and I'm going to take you somewhere safe." Picking the little boy up, he held him in his arms, trying to shield him and making a break for the exit.
Jeremiah
He could feel his hand slipping as he dangled off the ladder and warm blood from his nose gushed into the opening of his lips. Staring up with blurry eyes at his friend who looked down at him coldly. Although he didn't have his glasses on and the lights were so... bright. Perhaps he was misreading his best friend's expression. Dick left his line of sight swiftly without extending a hand to help him and all he could think was: Oh. I suppose we're even. He wasn't there in Dick's time of need so Dick, in turn, wasn't there for him. But he really did believe for a moment there... Dick might choose me for once. Disappointment filled his chest and weighed him down. His fingers, that were curled around the step of the ladder wouldn't hold him anymore and in an instant he felt himself dropping like a stone all the way to the ground. Hearing the thud of the two bodies a split second before the thundering crack of his head against the flooring. His eyes still open and staring up towards the stage lights which reflected colourfully in his dull silver irises. Blood that had been in his mouth trickled down the sides of his face and dripped into the pool by his head. Creating a long red grin on his stark white face. He thought he heard Dick say something somewhere not too far from him. Promising that he'd take him somewhere safe before the world itself turned dark.
Why don't we kiss goodnight?
It might just end my life
I'm pretty sure that it's right, right, right
Now we can kiss goodnightI
don't want to spend my life, life
Without your kiss goodnight
Yeah, for the rest of my life, life, life
I need your kiss goodnight
I hope we kiss goodnight
Jeremiah ran a hand through Dick’s thick black hair, stopping and gripping it when he finally leaned in for that kiss the two of them had been dancing around doing for a long time now. Eyes fluttered shut, he smiled into it. Unable to help himself. He’d been wondering what it was like to kiss Dick, and now finally he knew. All he wanted was for them to be close. To have a connection. He didn’t even pull away when he whispered against the other man’s soft lips, “Your lip chap’s lovely. What is it? Cherry?” He asked before going in for another kiss like he was trying to taste it again.
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