I was in denial of not being okay for the last 6 months. I told myself that this isn’t something to worry about and that I will get better with time. Each month, each day, every second it got worse. I didn’t know what I was dealing with or how I would even deal with it. You don’t realize how bad it is because it’s something you have never experienced before so you think it’s going to pass on like normal.
I went months with not telling anyone how I really felt. It is a difficult situation and even more difficult when you have not come to terms with it yourself. I kept it from my family, my friends, my boyfriend, anyone close I could think of. How do you tell the people who care for you that you are not happy anymore? The people who are bound to make you happy? How do you tell them it isn’t their fault?
I spent days and nights crying for who knows what. I slept long hours because I am always tired. I stopped eating on a regular basis and even went 32 hours with nothing in my system. I stopped doing things that I loved. This kind of monster strikes anyone and everyone and you don’t even notice until it does a physical damage to you.
A lot of people are sad and they don’t even know why. It’s difficult to confront because you can’t even think of the reason you’re so depressed. I was so in denial that I didn’t believe I could be depressed because I thought I wasn’t that kind of person. But depression doesn’t care if you’re young, old, happy, sad, it doesn’t have a bias.
You don’t expect anyone to understand because no one really knows how you feel. But I am here to say that it is okay to talk about it. It is okay to be upset, tired, scared, stressed, and just physically and mentally exhausted. I was lucky enough to realize early on that I am not okay. I had to accept the fact that I needed help from my family and friends and loved ones around me. Even if you know no one will understand, it’s still okay to talk and let your loved ones know that you need reassurance. Everything does help.
Although I am still depressed and I know it’s going to take time, I am just glad that I spoke out. God knows where I’d be if I had waited too long to confront my well-being. You are not alone and you DO have people who care. It does get better. You will get better. You don’t have to do this alone.
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
titsay
yousharknotpass
